Some friendly advice

[rambler]

http://www.happierabroad.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=11010


Statistics ... Can you overcome them?  Why you? tell me.


You have been warned.
1. From Winston's thread: 2003 US VISA STATS - less than 8% of spouses are still in the US after 1 year!! [/size]1546 K-3 (spouse) entered the USA 70.3% left the USA within 6 months 22.6% left between 6 months to one year 7.1 % lasted more than one year 3889 K-1's (fiancée) entered the USA 54.0% left the USA within 6 months 28.2% left between 6 months to one year 17.7% lasted more than one year [/color]

[BillyB]

I see you provided a link in this thread but you and the guys in that link aren't understanding the stats. Our government keeps stats of those who left America after coming here on a k-1 or k-3 visa. They are not keeping stats on those who divorced their husbands and left America forever. My wife came to America on a k-1 visa. She has left this country 4 times and would inflate those statistics. Our government would tell you in their stats that she and others have left this country but won't tell you the reason. You're assuming these women are divorcing their husbands each time they leave when in fact they may have left the country for a romantic vacation to a tropical destination or just visiting family back home. Don't make assumptions. Accept stats for what they are and no more.

[2tallbill]

Statistics ... Can you overcome them?  Why you? tell me.


You have been warned.
From Winston's thread: 2003 US VISA STATS - less than 8% of spouses are still in the US after 1 year!!

1546 K-3 (spouse) entered the USA 70.3% left the USA within 6 months 22.6% left between 6 months to one year 7.1 % lasted more than one year 3889 K-1's
entered the USA 54.0% left the USA within 6 months 28.2% left between 6 months
to one year 17.7% lasted more than one year

78.14% of statistics are made up on the spot  I want to see the source that the
statistics were taken from. Also with a K1 Visa the fiancee has 90 days to get married
or leave, yet the statistics don't measure that critical time frame.

[Hammer2722]

I would not believe anything coming Winston Wu's website. The world's biggest sex tourist! 

[2tallbill]

I would not believe anything coming Winston Wu's website. The world's biggest sex tourist! 

That guy is still alive? The last I heard he was living in the Philippines?

[Boethius]

Say what you will about Winston, he is not stupid.

[Gator]

Say what you will about Winston, he is not stupid.

Did you see some of his videos/stories from 10-15 years ago?  I thought him silly.   

He was discussed at RWD:   http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=2970.0

http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=4184.msg75996#msg75996 (as one of many men listed on Anti-Date)

[Boethius]

He was just young, something most posters here seem to forget.


Certainly he is hedonistic, but in his overall attitudes, he is not that different from many who post, or have posted here.

[ML]

I see you provided a link in this thread but you and the guys in that link aren't understanding the stats. Our government keeps stats of those who left America after coming here on a k-1 or k-3 visa. They are not keeping stats on those who divorced their husbands and left America forever. My wife came to America on a k-1 visa. She has left this country 4 times and would inflate those statistics. Our government would tell you in their stats that she and others have left this country but won't tell you the reason. You're assuming these women are divorcing their husbands each time they leave when in fact they may have left the country for a romantic vacation to a tropical destination or just visiting family back home. Don't make assumptions. Accept stats for what they are and no more.

Ochka has left me 7 times in the 5 years she has been here.

[BillyB]

Ochka has left me 7 times in the 5 years she has been here.

To some guys on that other forum, you've been divorce 7 times and Ochka has taken 50% of everything you own each time she divorces you. You probably have two cents left in your pocket. Next time she leaves you, she's taking half of that.

[treadmilldude]

Ochka has left me 7 times in the 5 years she has been here.

ML I am very sorry to hear this. I have been told FSU women are loyal to a fault and would never, under any circumstances, leave their American Husband no matter how terrible of a Husband he is. Even if he cheats on her with 27 different women. Never cleans up after himself. Refuses to put the toilet seat down. Tells her to act like a "real woman". This Ochka sounds like a really bad apple. I hope some day, you can find a good, normal FSU woman to marry. You deserve that. 

[Gator]

He was just young, something most posters here seem to forget.

If over 18, "being young" has nothing to do with it, unless the individual received bad parenting and has not yet learned from real life experiences about respecting women.   

I don't know much about Winston as I read little, just enough to decide he is a jerk trying to make some money from  his trip experiences that resembled bad, silly comedy. 

You excused Dragonkid for his youth. So that's two obvious jerks you forgive, although DK is better not as bad as Winston.

Certainly he is hedonistic, but in his overall attitudes, he is not that different from many who post, or have posted here.

Many?   

How many men here at RWD have been on Antidate's blacklist?  (not counting 2tallbill who made the list for the most insubstantial, unjustified, almost comical reason).

When you say the word "many," it suggests you have a low regard for RWD men in general.   Maybe some come across as not  confident, even clumsy, with women, but none other than Albert wrote about traveling around the FSU in a search for sexual conquests.   There are other forums for such men.  The men here for the most part seem serious about marriage.

How many men who post here have you conversed with over the phone, long enough to share inner thoughts?  How many have you met?  It can not be many.  None of the many men I have met are like Winston. 

BTW, I recall that Winston did not have much sex, and he lamented it, as he saw the RW as sex objects rather than women.  The women he met seemed to take advantage of him.  Maybe some of the historians here can correct me.  In the RWD link I referenced, those men are long gone.   

In summary, Winston Wu is the last person to consult if one is sincerely interested in RW. 

[Boethius]

If over 18, "being young" has nothing to do with it, unless the individual received bad parenting and has not yet learned from real life experiences about respecting women.   

I don't know much about Winston as I read little, just enough to decide he is a jerk trying to make some money from  his trip experiences that resembled bad, silly comedy. 

You excused Dragonkid for his youth. So that's two obvious jerks you forgive, although DK is better not as bad as Winston.




Many?   

How many men here at RWD have been on Antidate's blacklist?  (not counting 2tallbill who made the list for the most insubstantial, unjustified, almost comical reason).

When you say the word "many," it suggests you have a low regard for RWD men in general.   Maybe some come across as not  confident, even clumsy, with women, but none other than Albert wrote about traveling around the FSU in a search for sexual conquests.   There are other forums for such men.  The men here for the most part seem serious about marriage.

How many men who post here have you conversed with over the phone, long enough to share inner thoughts?  How many have you met?  It can not be many.  None of the many men I have met are like Winston. 

BTW, I recall that Winston did not have much sex, and he lamented it, as he saw the RW as sex objects rather than women.  The women he met seemed to take advantage of him.  Maybe some of the historians here can correct me.  In the RWD link I referenced, those men are long gone.   

In summary, Winston Wu is the last person to consult if one is sincerely interested in RW.

I didn't say Winston should be someone who should be consulted for a relationship.


Looking at it as a woman, I don't see much difference in attitudes toward women as is, or has been expressed in the past by many posters here.  It is not about being clumsy or sincere.  It is about the perceived worth of a woman.  This is something many of the FSUW who posted here have told me in PM's as well.  One who longer posts here described the attitude toward FSUW as "pets". 

Age is a factor in how we perceive the world, and even in how we express ourselves.  It's even more so in online communications. 

[msmobyone]

ML I am very sorry to hear this. I have been told FSU women are loyal to a fault and would never, under any circumstances, leave their American Husband no matter how terrible of a Husband he is. Even if he cheats on her with 27 different women. Never cleans up after himself. Refuses to put the toilet seat down. Tells her to act like a "real woman". This Ochka sounds like a really bad apple. I hope some day, you can find a good, normal FSU woman to marry. You deserve that.

Indeed TMD

I confess to having left SC..several times ...I am a bad western guy..

Are you for real?

[Gator]

Looking at it as a woman, I don't see much difference in attitudes toward women as is, or has been expressed in the past by many posters here.  It is not about being clumsy or sincere.  It is about the perceived worth of a woman.  This is something many of the FSUW who posted here have told me in PM's as well.  One who longer posts here described the attitude toward FSUW as "pets".

Pets!   That's a new one. 

A few posters wrote as if they want a sex slave and a housemaid.  However, such men are few,  and they were widely criticized by the married members.

Our newest member Anzeta has a signature quote - "We don’t see things as they are; we see them as we are."  Anaïs Nin.  In that sense, I feel sympathy for the RW who made the "pets" comment to you.  I do hope she is doing well today.

[Boethius]

She was referring to posts made during a particular period by men here. 

She is doing fine.

Anais Nin- An adulterer who presented herself as bohemian, yet hid her numerous affairs from her long suffering husband, including her second bigamist marriage, wrote of her late term abortion of Henry Miller's child (the result of an extramarital affair), yet disguised the fact it was her abortion, and wrote of her incestuous relationship with her father.  In her personal life, she often hid who she was from those closest to her, so I'm not certain she really believed the content of her quote.

[Gator]

Anais Nin- An adulterer who presented herself as bohemian, yet hid her numerous affairs from her long suffering husband, including her second bigamist marriage, wrote of her late term abortion of Henry Miller's child (the result of an extramarital affair), yet disguised the fact it was her abortion, and wrote of her incestuous relationship with her father.  In her personal life, she often hid who she was from those closest to her, so I'm not certain she really believed the content of her quote.

Sounds like an intriguing  woman who ensnared many a man.  Although she may not believe her own quote, it is interesting bullshit from which some long, deep discussions could begin, ending with wild, crazy sex.    Intriguing, yes.  Fulfilling, no. 

[Boethius]

There are many who enjoy her works.  I am not among them. 


I think you are right, she did not seem fulfilled in her life. 

[CaptB]

The first thing I noticed at the beginning of this thread is "2003 US VISA STATS".........the info. is a little dated......is it not?


Cant B

[2tallbill]

The first thing I noticed at the beginning of this thread is "2003 US VISA STATS".........the info. is a little dated......is it not?


Cant B

Quote from the link

"Whatever you do, DO NOT marry a Russian bride and bring her back to your country. Only live in Russia with her (and you'll NEVER get permission to live in Moscow no matter how much money you have - you'll have to buy train tickets out of Moscow every 3 months to show Russian Police your not living in Moscow - like Russians do who aren't registered in Moscow). -Obviuosly passport-diggers will not marry you and you'll probaby get a nice family-centred woman. If you can't live in Russia forget about a Russian Wife for good!"


I went against the advice of the post and it looks like I am going to have to suffer
the consequences of having a Russian wife............   

[rambler]

OK, to start on a humorous note, we got too old, we married one blah-de-bla, all that is true.


I will only speak from experience that I have observed directly; no hearsay. i.e. girls I met but did not click with, but remained friends and a relation of my Russian wife and maybe a few experiences with my own wife, but I will not confirm or deny which are which. Suffice to say, my post from years ago, "Two sorry tales" can now be retold as 3 sorry tales.

1. All 3 cases involved serious contraventions of 1 or more of the 10 commandments.
2. All 3 cases involved marriage, separation and or divorce within a very short time, i.e. 2-4 years.
3. One man lost his wife and daughter and support payments plus there are suggestions that the child is very unlikely to be his.
4. One man was arrested twice on false charges of Actual Bodily Harm, but was not charged or even cautioned. The woman had contacts with Russian (ex Russian Police) Mafia and security forces in Russia and in the mans' country.
5. All men were treated as mules to get residence visas and were abandoned as soon as they had served that purpose.
6. Two men suffered (or were blessed with actually) the absence of their wife for up to 50% of the marriage before the final separation
7. One suffered repeated violence at the hands of his wife.
8. All three men face the prospect of continued financial claims based on divorce and/or child maintenance.
9. The child maintenance orders are based on either adoption of a child that is not his or being the registered father of a child that some say is not his. In this case I do say, it does not apply to me.
10. In 2 cases the wife refused to try to have children with the husband despite agreeing to have children prior to the marriage.
11. 2 girls had been pro dating for years and hid the fact, refusing to show their passports and/or losing them during the Visa process. They had been instructed to steal from the houses of several parties that they were sent to.
12. One girl has asked for hundreds of thousands of dollars as a preliminary to divorce proceedings and was in the habit of demanding “pocket money” and called the police and made false accusations of violence if she did not get it. And that was during separations which were 45-50% of the whole period post marriage. 

I could go on but there is no need to elaborate. There are plenty of gory details that would sicken the most seasoned of sincere men and women wherever they are from.  There is no desire  for sympathy or " You were warned" or “What do you expect if you break the rules” replies from the seasoned members here.
This is just a warning to the guys that are starting out.  This business is an established industry in FSU countries and is backed by forces that you cannot compete against.  It is a slickly oiled machine. They can spot a mark  from  several thousand miles away. If her whole extended family is not invited to the wedding; that is a huge red flag. Run.

To save you the trouble, yes all the men in the above cases were stupid and most would say they got what they deserved. We do not need to be reminded of that.  But those that have not yet been stupid, I hope you stop to think with your larger head, before you act. If I were to go to Russia and Ukraine again on a serious search - I would go without any pre arranged meetings. Any girl on the agency lists is in the well oiled machine, whether she knows it or not. I would look for girls that are not on any agency or dating site. The good girls have no need of them. There are exceptions, but the best women I  met were on the spot, no website presence that I could detect. You will have no problem meeting women if you are eligible. But if you are just marginally eligible in age, appearance or too cocky, you will attract the wrong elements.
To end on a funny note, I was in a FSU town on a meet one basis. The girl could speak 10 words of English. Through the terp I asked if she knew what her T shirt said. She did not. It read " Gold Digger".  She  had no intention of actually leaving home. She looked nothing like her photos. One even changed her eye color to blue in the photos.

[msmobyone]

Rambler


Have to say that your warnings are for guys who might STILL -despite the many posts following visits to the FSU be using 'marriage agencies'

Personally, I've never used one

I would NOT go without any prearranged meeting - singular - you'd be wasting your time...and anyone being shocked at someone's appearance hasn't done due diligence via Skype or similar

Your advice is out of date

[rambler]

"you'd be wasting your time"   I don't think everyone would be wasting their time - Not at all, they can meet women who are happy where they are , rather than being dissatisfied and for some reason rejected by or not happy with eligible males in their own country.

All of the 3 had been sussed by their countrymen,

The best looks and the best personalities of all the girls I met in the FSU were the result of random meetings in the street or watching a live band playing in a place the locals and expats used.

The single point of failure was EM which may or may not be regarded as out of date. It still gets mentioned a lot. Mamba is a minefield, so are many others.

[msmobyone]

Hi, thanks for the response - sorry for coming across as a know it all !:)

I think all dating sites are minefields - mamba is one I'd STILL recommend.. EM is not..but then a site is only as good as the suitable ladies for you

Turning up without a plan ... not wise IMHO..but if you're happy to see new places / meet people - it's a different approach ..more for someone spending a lot of time in one place - like home ?))

[Patagonie]

Dating sites and agencies are minefieds yes,
but some more than other, and some agencies are not at all, except the girl who has a very secret agenda and show her true colors later, but they are kicked off by the honest agencies after few meetings.

If you are enough experimented to read internet when looking for dating sites and agencies (i do agree that 95% agencies are crappy) you can sort them very quickly and keep a short list of the best ones.

If you are enough experiemented with FSU and dating you can even meet through crappy agencies, even with AdateCrappy and AfaCrappy some men found nice women and married them.

As i said and as you are writing Rambler you will have access to tons of ladies in FSU only because you ARE in FSU.

It's perhaps even better to meet a woman who is NOT in the circuit and fall in love with you.