It appears you have not registered with our community. To register please click here ...

!!

Welcome to Russian Women Discussion - the most informative site for all things related to serious long-term relationships and marriage to a partner from the Former Soviet Union countries!

Please register (it's free!) to gain full access to the many features and benefits of the site. Welcome!

+-

Author Topic: The Sudden Silent treatment  (Read 27485 times)

0 Members and 2 Guests are viewing this topic.

Online 2tallbill

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 12411
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Living the dream
  • Spouse's Country: Russia
  • Status: Married 5-10 years
  • Trips: > 10
Re: The Sudden Silent treatment
« Reply #25 on: January 08, 2018, 07:52:50 PM »
Golden opportunity to snag another babe.

+1
FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Just kiss the girl, don't ask her first. Tolerate NO excuses!

Offline mhr7

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1983
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Russia
  • Status: No Selection
  • Trips: Resident
Re: The Sudden Silent treatment
« Reply #26 on: January 08, 2018, 07:53:53 PM »
I've dated 2 FSU women who cut communication with me out of anger. Both eventually came back after a little a$$ kissing :rolleyes:. You should try to get some more details Sting, would make it much easier to figure out.
"After your death, you will be what you were before your birth." - Schopenhauer

Offline mhr7

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1983
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Russia
  • Status: No Selection
  • Trips: Resident
Re: The Sudden Silent treatment
« Reply #27 on: January 08, 2018, 07:56:26 PM »
FSUW treat a prospective man with all kinds of affection,
right up to the point that they stop. Then they treat them
like an old tuna fish sandwich found under the couch.
Exactly.
"After your death, you will be what you were before your birth." - Schopenhauer

Online 2tallbill

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 12411
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Living the dream
  • Spouse's Country: Russia
  • Status: Married 5-10 years
  • Trips: > 10
Re: The Sudden Silent treatment
« Reply #28 on: January 08, 2018, 07:58:47 PM »
I've dated 2 FSU women who cut communication with me out of anger.

You knew they were angry, correct? I've never had an FSUW
mad at me and not know all about it.

This friend of his doesn't know what happened.
If he said that she was yelling at him on the phone and
hung up, turned off her phone and didn't take his calls 
my answer would have been totally different.

FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Just kiss the girl, don't ask her first. Tolerate NO excuses!

Offline Brasscasing

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1557
  • Country: ca
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: No Selection
  • Status: No Selection
  • Trips: No Selection
Re: The Sudden Silent treatment
« Reply #29 on: January 08, 2018, 08:01:15 PM »
Anyone have this experience where a Russian woman you are dating suddenly cuts off all contact for no apparent reason?

I'm talking about a woman that you've actually seen in person, dated a few times or more, or even a girlfriend.

An expat buddy just recounted a story where his Russian gf suddenly broke off things, blocked all forms of communication and gave him the cold shoulder.  Now I don't know how long they were going out but this really shook him up.  Came outta left field.

He's late 20's so I assume the girl was around his age.   

I've had the occasional girl stop messaging after a few dates or turn cold.  But nothing this drastic with a girlfriend.

guys this was his girlfriend !!!   Not some random hookup or someone who he had a few dates with.  And he was saying that they both liked each other and then did a complete 180 turn around.

I didn't ask for all the details but he was quite distraught.  Seemed like very cold and rude behaviour, could be just youth.

Now one rather famous story about dumping is Rory McIlroy the golfer. He was engaged to a tennis player Caroline W...  I think a few days before the wedding he called and cancelled it all off!

Alright, I'll bite. Realizing this is hear/say information you're relating ...

The moniker "girlfriend" might include a presumption to social interaction between the afore mentioned (former) couple and a wider circle of friends, acquaintances and maybe even family.

Has there been no enlightenment from anyone mutually acquainted as to cause?

Brass

« Last Edit: January 08, 2018, 08:06:00 PM by Brasscasing »
...Build the wall. Even Heaven has a gate...

"Because without America there is no free world" ~ Canada Free Press

Offline Sting23

  • Banned Member
  • *
  • Posts: 547
  • Country: us
  • Spouse's Country: No Selection
  • Status: No Selection
  • Trips: None (yet)
Re: The Sudden Silent treatment
« Reply #30 on: January 08, 2018, 08:05:52 PM »
I've dated 2 FSU women who cut communication with me out of anger. Both eventually came back after a little a$$ kissing :rolleyes:. You should try to get some more details Sting, would make it much easier to figure out.

From what I can tell this wasn't out of anger.  His version was that she told him she had strong feelings for him, but his were stronger and therefore they can't be together.  Very messed up logic.  Then she cut off all contact.

That's what makes it unusual.  It doesn't seem like she was mad, on the contrary. 

Offline mhr7

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1983
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Russia
  • Status: No Selection
  • Trips: Resident
Re: The Sudden Silent treatment
« Reply #31 on: January 08, 2018, 08:07:30 PM »
You knew they were angry, correct?

Yes, but I imagine there's more to this story than just being cut off out of the blue, I've never had this happen. But with both being young it may be just "ghosting", which tells me that this immature girl isn't worth losing any sleep over.
"After your death, you will be what you were before your birth." - Schopenhauer

Offline Brasscasing

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1557
  • Country: ca
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: No Selection
  • Status: No Selection
  • Trips: No Selection
Re: The Sudden Silent treatment
« Reply #32 on: January 08, 2018, 08:12:30 PM »
From what I can tell this wasn't out of anger.  His version was that she told him she had strong feelings for him, but his were stronger and therefore they can't be together.  Very messed up logic.  Then she cut off all contact.

That's what makes it unusual.  It doesn't seem like she was mad, on the contrary.

Well that's not exactly out of the blue, Sting.

It's not much of an explanation but she is breaking up with him ..."therefore they can't be together"...

Billy's right, your buddy needs to move on.

Brass
« Last Edit: January 08, 2018, 08:14:22 PM by Brasscasing »
...Build the wall. Even Heaven has a gate...

"Because without America there is no free world" ~ Canada Free Press

Offline Sting23

  • Banned Member
  • *
  • Posts: 547
  • Country: us
  • Spouse's Country: No Selection
  • Status: No Selection
  • Trips: None (yet)
Re: The Sudden Silent treatment
« Reply #33 on: January 08, 2018, 08:14:34 PM »

The moniker "girlfriend" might include a presumption to social interaction between the afore mentioned (former) couple and a wider circle of friends, acquaintances and maybe even family.

Has there been no enlightenment from anyone mutually acquainted as to cause?

Brass

Brass,  I don't want to pry into his private life and ask what his mutual acquaintances think.  All I know is that he said they had strong feelings for each other and she suddenly ended it.  His exact words to me were "She is f**king stupid.".. So obviously he was hurt. 

Offline Sting23

  • Banned Member
  • *
  • Posts: 547
  • Country: us
  • Spouse's Country: No Selection
  • Status: No Selection
  • Trips: None (yet)
Re: The Sudden Silent treatment
« Reply #34 on: January 08, 2018, 08:21:28 PM »
Well that's not exactly out of the blue, Sting.

It's not much of an explanation but she is breaking up with him ..."therefore they can't be together"...

Billy's right, your buddy needs to move on.

Brass

From hearing him tell it to me it was completly out of the blue.  She just decided they need to break up.  And his reaction indicates that it was very unexpected.  Yeah I told him the same, cut your losses and move on. 


Offline Jumper

  • Moderator
  • *
  • Posts: 3755
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Ukraine
  • Status: Married 5-10 years
  • Trips: > 10
Re: The Sudden Silent treatment
« Reply #35 on: January 08, 2018, 08:22:34 PM »
From what I can tell this wasn't out of anger.  His version was that she told him she had strong feelings for him, but his were stronger and therefore they can't be together.  Very messed up logic.  Then she cut off all contact.

That's what makes it unusual.  It doesn't seem like she was mad, on the contrary.

That explains everything incredibly clearly.
Why is he confused?

She's just not into him

It's that simple

Her words mean little.
Her actions are what count.

Men should remember that both about women,
 and also how women think of the mans words vs actions. Your words mean little to nothing, your actions speak volumns.

As far as why's she's not into him now, it's doesn't matter, it could be a million things or nothing,.
 she isn't anymore,  thats all that matters.

As far as why she said she was, but obviously isn't, also d oesn't matter ,and frankly it's not that strange of an occurrence in relationships between men and women, both sexes often say stuff   they don't mean, or they mean at the moment, but not later on.

I understand if it's out if the blue that it hurts, but it's not that unusual especially younger people
 :popcorn:
« Last Edit: January 08, 2018, 08:25:15 PM by Jumper »
.

Offline Brasscasing

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1557
  • Country: ca
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: No Selection
  • Status: No Selection
  • Trips: No Selection
Re: The Sudden Silent treatment
« Reply #36 on: January 08, 2018, 08:27:21 PM »
Brass,  I don't want to pry into his private life and ask what his mutual acquaintances think.  All I know is that he said they had strong feelings for each other and she suddenly ended it.  His exact words to me were "She is f**king stupid.".. So obviously he was hurt.

...In my experience more an expression of anger or frustration rather than hurt. However, my question regarding enlightenment has been answered.

Thanks.

Brass

...Build the wall. Even Heaven has a gate...

"Because without America there is no free world" ~ Canada Free Press

Offline BillyB

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 16105
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Ukraine
  • Status: Married 5-10 years
  • Trips: > 10
Re: The Sudden Silent treatment
« Reply #37 on: January 08, 2018, 08:28:17 PM »
Well that's not exactly out of the blue, Sting.



Yeah, it seems she was nice enough to give him a reason for the breakup before it happened.


His exact words to me were "She is f**king stupid."



If he used angry words like that after she gave him her reason for breaking up, makes sense she felt it best and safest for her to end all communication. People can get ugly during breakups. Who wants to be around ugly?
Fund the audits, spread the word and educate people, write your politicians and other elected officials. Stay active in the fight to save our country. Over 220 generals and admirals say we are in a fight for our survival like no other time since 1776.

Offline Jumper

  • Moderator
  • *
  • Posts: 3755
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Ukraine
  • Status: Married 5-10 years
  • Trips: > 10
Re: The Sudden Silent treatment
« Reply #38 on: January 08, 2018, 08:31:34 PM »

Quote from: BillyB
Who wants to be around ugly?


I dunno billy, you arn't exactly pretty and your wife still loves you.

Same for me lol.
« Last Edit: January 08, 2018, 08:44:15 PM by Jumper »
.

Offline BillyB

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 16105
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Ukraine
  • Status: Married 5-10 years
  • Trips: > 10
Re: The Sudden Silent treatment
« Reply #39 on: January 08, 2018, 08:38:00 PM »
you arn't exactly pretty

Same for me lol.


It's what's on the inside that counts and our hearts and minds are sexy like Chippendale dancers.
Fund the audits, spread the word and educate people, write your politicians and other elected officials. Stay active in the fight to save our country. Over 220 generals and admirals say we are in a fight for our survival like no other time since 1776.

Offline Jumper

  • Moderator
  • *
  • Posts: 3755
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Ukraine
  • Status: Married 5-10 years
  • Trips: > 10
Re: The Sudden Silent treatment
« Reply #40 on: January 08, 2018, 08:42:56 PM »
Lol perhaps!

And hey,I'm always amazed at the generosity of womankind.


.

Offline Sting23

  • Banned Member
  • *
  • Posts: 547
  • Country: us
  • Spouse's Country: No Selection
  • Status: No Selection
  • Trips: None (yet)
Re: The Sudden Silent treatment
« Reply #41 on: January 08, 2018, 08:45:49 PM »

Now of course there are people in every country of the world who are rude in this category of failure to respond to on-going communication.

But in my experience, the FSU folks (men, women, social, business) are the leaders, hands-down.

Gotta agree 100%.  Business wise many Russians have little courtesy.  I've had job interviews where they don't bother to tell you if you got the job or not.  One time I was offered a job, started the visa process but the letter of invitation never came.  I e-mailed them a few times, got no response and figured they just changed their mind.  Rude but typical behaviour.

Offline southernX

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 933
  • Country: au
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Russia
  • Status: Married 5-10 years
  • Trips: > 10
Re: The Sudden Silent treatment
« Reply #42 on: January 08, 2018, 10:20:30 PM »
Quote
Her words mean little.
Her actions are what count.

yes true as

he may have gotten silent strike  due to someThing he said that he was not aware of ?
she may have decided she cant get serious or marry him/anyone now or into the future ...so she cut it off

either way he will be wasting his time trying to figure out why

there is a very definite mentality of directness /rudeness , call it what you will but they dont tend to be soft and fluffy when there pride is hurt or you have criticised them in some way ,even if you where not aware you had

lucky your not married to her move on

SX
Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

Offline GQBlues

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 11752
  • Country: us
  • Spouse's Country: No Selection
  • Status: No Selection
  • Trips: None (yet)
Re: The Sudden Silent treatment
« Reply #43 on: January 08, 2018, 11:11:37 PM »
Just chalk this up to Newton's third law of motion - action v reaction.

I'm just not convinced that any person, regardless of nationality or culture, who had invested 'some deeper level of emotion' towards another, could just all of the sudden erased that reality with that particular person and/or object of affection without a word. Could be the OP's character player is so void of his inamorata's feelings that he's just clueless altogether.

I can't imagine any woman, IME, who was smitten enough with anyone on Wednesday to Monday and simply discard it Tuesday like it never happened.

Big gap missing in this scenario.
Quote from: msmob
1. Because of 'man', global warming is causing desert and arid areas to suffer long, dry spell.
2. The 2018 Camp Fire and Woolsey California wildfires are forests burning because of global warming.
3. N95 mask will choke you dead after 30 min. of use.

Offline Sting23

  • Banned Member
  • *
  • Posts: 547
  • Country: us
  • Spouse's Country: No Selection
  • Status: No Selection
  • Trips: None (yet)
Re: The Sudden Silent treatment
« Reply #44 on: January 09, 2018, 12:09:17 AM »

I'm just not convinced that any person, regardless of nationality or culture, who had invested 'some deeper level of emotion' towards another, could just all of the sudden erased that reality with that particular person and/or object of affection without a word. Could be the OP's character player is so void of his inamorata's feelings that he's just clueless altogether.

I can't imagine any woman, IME, who was smitten enough with anyone on Wednesday to Monday and simply discard it Tuesday like it never happened.

Big gap missing in this scenario.

All I can go by is his story and what he told me.  If she has feelings for him why would she dump him.  I know him in a business setting, he's a pretty straight forward, honest guy.  No character issues but then I don't know how he is in his relationship.

She could be a cold, calculating woman with no regard for him or just a naive youth.  I was trying to figure out if it's more a cultural or age thing or just an anomaly. 

Offline BillyB

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 16105
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Ukraine
  • Status: Married 5-10 years
  • Trips: > 10
Re: The Sudden Silent treatment
« Reply #45 on: January 09, 2018, 12:52:03 AM »
If she has feelings for him why would she dump him. 



Like she said, he has stronger feelings. They're not matched up well in the feelings department.

 I once dated a girl and things were going great but I never felt like I was going to marry her. Her feelings became much stronger than mine and I knew I could not give her what she wanted, marriage. If I kept dating her with her feelings so strong for me, she would eventually feel like I was using her and wasting her time because a proposal would never come. I had to cut it off and go separate ways. Almost gave her silent treatment but not that extreme.  I had to get her upset at me so she'd let go. It was the only thing I could do to get her mind off me so she'd begin to look for a man that could give her what she wanted. Some may call me rude. I thought I was doing her a favor.
Fund the audits, spread the word and educate people, write your politicians and other elected officials. Stay active in the fight to save our country. Over 220 generals and admirals say we are in a fight for our survival like no other time since 1776.

Offline Maxx2

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3384
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: No Selection
  • Status: No Selection
  • Trips: 4 - 10
Re: The Sudden Silent treatment
« Reply #46 on: January 09, 2018, 02:18:38 AM »

Your friend should spend one day feeling sorry for himself,
then give himself a pep talk, then move on and find an
even better girl. Girls are just like buses, there is always
another one arriving shortly. The best way to get over a
girl is in the arms of another.


Solid gold advice.

Offline msmob

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 10618
  • Country: ie
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Russia
  • Status: Married 0-2 years
  • Trips: > 10
Re: The Sudden Silent treatment
« Reply #47 on: January 09, 2018, 02:36:15 AM »

Solid gold advice.

Hmm, But IS it ? 

Falling in love with someone isn't always sensible and it's loss is not simply 'cured' by hopping on another bus....  Those that think so ( I believe ) are trying to come across as 'manly' and simply aren't being honest with themselves and ( to me) saying, "Look what a ( clueless) idiot I am"...

Offline Davo2

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 179
  • Country: au
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: No Selection
  • Status: No Selection
  • Trips: None (yet)
Re: The Sudden Silent treatment
« Reply #48 on: January 09, 2018, 04:24:13 AM »

Solid gold advice.

I needed advice like this years ago... Spent 20 years riding the same bus, but unbeknownst to me every other man was riding it also. I soon worked out there are more modern buses to ride and tried out numerous different routes, until a Russian bus caught my eye, now the local busses just don't seem the same in comparison  ;)

Online 2tallbill

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 12411
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Living the dream
  • Spouse's Country: Russia
  • Status: Married 5-10 years
  • Trips: > 10
Re: The Sudden Silent treatment
« Reply #49 on: January 09, 2018, 07:41:28 AM »
Hmm, But IS it ? 

Falling in love with someone isn't always sensible and it's loss is not simply 'cured' by hopping on another bus....  Those that think so ( I believe ) are trying to come across as 'manly' and simply aren't being honest with themselves and ( to me) saying, "Look what a ( clueless) idiot I am"...

They are both young, they weren't married or had kids and it didn't work
out. He can spend lots of time being angry, disappointed and such or he
can shake it off and move on. I suggest shaking it off and moving on,
what would you suggest? 

FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Just kiss the girl, don't ask her first. Tolerate NO excuses!

 

+-RWD Stats

Members
Total Members: 8883
Latest: Leroy14
New This Month: 1
New This Week: 0
New Today: 0
Stats
Total Posts: 540997
Total Topics: 20849
Most Online Today: 2013
Most Online Ever: 12701
(January 14, 2020, 07:04:55 AM)
Users Online
Members: 9
Guests: 1950
Total: 1959

+-Recent Posts

Re: American With Russian Fiancé - Scheduled For K1 Interview In Warsaw, BUT.... by krimster2
Yesterday at 09:20:42 PM

Re: American With Russian Fiancé - Scheduled For K1 Interview In Warsaw, BUT.... by Infoman
Yesterday at 09:12:54 PM

Re: American With Russian Fiancé - Scheduled For K1 Interview In Warsaw, BUT.... by krimster2
Yesterday at 09:02:12 PM

American With Russian Fiancé - Scheduled For K1 Interview In Warsaw, BUT.... by Infoman
Yesterday at 08:45:42 PM

Re: What to do by Trenchcoat
Yesterday at 07:59:27 PM

Ukrainian refugee working for me now by ML
Yesterday at 07:04:53 PM

Ukrainian refugee working for me now by ML
Yesterday at 06:59:45 PM

Re: What to do by Trenchcoat
Yesterday at 06:57:42 PM

Re: If you don't know what you are talking about, post away anyway by Trenchcoat
Yesterday at 06:36:52 PM

Re: Twenty Years... and Counting (MarkInTx Update) by supranatural
Yesterday at 03:02:29 PM

Powered by EzPortal