A very different story

[Turboguy]

I think you will be fine.   If worst comes to worst from a shipping standpoint DHL is reasonalby reliable unless you stuff the envelope with $ 100.00 bills. 

There isn't anything in origional documents that can't be duplicated.  If you are unsure of anything those of us who filed our own will be happy to help.

A few days ago I went back and re-read some of the discussion answers to my question about using a lawyer.  It was sort of sad that you were so enthusiatic about what a great lawyer you had.   In reality I think the only great lawyers I have ever seen were on the otherside of what ever action I was involved in. 

Sorta like being married.   When you spend 24/7 with someone they are not nearly as attractive.

[Son of Clyde]

Sorta like being married.   When you spend 24/7 with someone they are not nearly as attractive.

Pretty soon several of us will be in this exact situation.

I think I can deal with 24/7 with her. A teenager will take some getting used to.

I think her son will have no problem adjusting and he will probably have some girlfriends soon after he arrives.

[BC]

[user=130]Son of Clyde[/user] wrote:

I think I can deal with 24/7 with her. A teenager will take some getting used to.

The adjustment was as tough on me as it was on my wife. Our daughter had the easiest adjustment.  It's not easy from batchelor to instant family.. Also have a 24/7 environment as a home worker which makes it a bit easier early on, but later occasional 'space' such as business trip or her trip home helps to equal things out.

90% of our 'confuse' (arguments) regarded kids and pets.

imho it's real important during 'confuse' to be able to differentiate between relationship problems (me/her) and external problems i.e. kids etc.

[Turboguy]

I think there is a lot of difference in teenagers that may make it easier or tougher.  I dated some russian gals with teenage kids.   Some of the teens would have been an absolute joy to be around.  I can think of one or two that would have been a real handful and could easily destroy a marriage.  

It always seemed to me that the kids from the FSU were generally better behaved and more mature than American Kids.   Maybe it is just less caffene and sugar in their diets.   Perhaps it is a difference in the lifestyles.   One nice thing with teens is they do grow up and go off on their own.  At least sometimes they do.

[wxman]

The best thing you can do for any child from another relationship is to be supportive and provide an envirorment where the child feels wanted and safe in their new home. In most cases with divorced RW/UW, the father of the child wants nothing to do with them. So the child is going to have a lack of trust in men and especially you since you are taking that sole attention away and now it has to be shared. Teenage kids adapt more easily as they want to be independent, but younger children feel threatened by that.

The other thing you can do for that child is not upset the balance. Do not think that you are going to be in charge. The last thing a child will respond to positively is another adult, that they do not know or did not choose, telling them what to do. The only true parent the child has is his mother. She must be the one to set the rules, and to be the keeper of the rules. Your job is to be 100% supportive of all her decisions on that matter without ever wavering. Of course you should discuss the rules together, and come up with a mutual agreement, but he will look upon her as the parent and you as her husband but not as his father or parent. From what you have wrote, the child is a good kid, so why disrupt the way he is being raised. Too many men seem to make that mistake and want to feel like they are in charge.

 

  

[ConnerVT]

The best thing you can do for any child from another relationship is to be supportive and provide an envirorment where the child feels wanted and safe in their new home. In most cases with divorced RW/UW, the father of the child wants nothing to do with them. So the child is going to have a lack of trust in men and especially you since you are taking that sole attention away and now it has to be shared. Teenage kids adapt more easily as they want to be independent, but younger children feel threatened by that.

The other thing you can do for that child is not upset the balance. Do not think that you are going to be in charge. The last thing a child will respond to positively is another adult, that they do not know or did not choose, telling them what to do. The only true parent the child has is his mother. She must be the one to set the rules, and to be the keeper of the rules. Your job is to be 100% supportive of all her decisions on that matter without ever wavering. Of course you should discuss the rules together, and come up with a mutual agreement, but he will look upon her as the parent and you as her husband but not as his father or parent. From what you have wrote, the child is a good kid, so why disrupt the way he is being raised. Too many men seem to make that mistake and want to feel like they are in charge.

DR. Phil based bullsh!t, making broad assumptions and stereotypes that may/may not have ANYTHING to do with the individual's situation.

There are more similarities than differences between American children and Russian ones.  The same issues that come from single parent households will prevail.  The only difference may be instead of an American child spending all of their time in daycare, a Russian child will spend their time in Kindergarten (aka. Play-school, not what you think of in the US) and being royally spoiled by their grandparents.

Each situation needs to be weighed on it's individual merit.

[wxman]

I didn't know Dr Phil even says that. I don't have time to waste watching tv. You must watch him a lot if you know that he says that! That being said, he probably knows more about raising children than you do. You obviously get upset quite easily when someone makes a post. When you don't like it, you first line of logic is vulgarity. Proves to me that your words mean little.

[ConnerVT]

It is a literary device to bring a dramatic element to the writing.  If you think what I wrote was vulgarity, wait 'til you here the things that come out of a teenager's mouth (or his/her CD player).

Rereading the second paragraph of the earlier post, why would anyone want to be a father?  The only responsibility left is to bank role the family.  My wife wanted a husband to be an equal parent.  She didn't want a another (older) son.  What you describe sounds all too much like many families my wife left behind in Russia.

But then, I think there's little use for singing lessons here... :?

[Vaughn]

SOC wrote:

I assume nothing can be done further until the Embassy actually acknowledges receipt of the hard copy of the petition from NVC.

True. But there are a few things you can do during the frustrating wait. While school's still in, visit your future son's ESL class - meet the teacher, the other students. Find out which shots your school district will require him to have current. Get the paperwork for his eventual registration started, eliminate surprises. Estimate your future timeline based on current cases and search airfares for that window. Speaking of ESL, where will she attend classes, and what will that involve - rolling admission or not? And costs, if any? If you're REALLY bored waiting, you can always call BCIS and request the AOS package and get THAT started - rather than wait as I did. One mistake I made, Clyde, was putting much of this groundwork off while I wasted time complaining on the Global 7 Great 2002 Visa Hostage site. Between her Moscow interview and visa issuance, 75 more days passed - back then it seemed rough, but nothing compared to what happens next. She'll be here before you know it! When Elvira arrived with little English & no driver's license - a stranger in a strange land - that's when the list of chores, forms, appointments and deadlines, in addition to my regular work, loomed very large. Almost forgot - my wife wanted a chapel wedding with close friends and family, a modest group of maybe 30 people - and planning my own wedding and reception was another item with which to contend. Don't let impending details fester as I did.

Vaughn

[Son of Clyde]

Thanks Vaughn,

I was aware of most of those things. I just finished completing a package of documents to send and I included the Packet 3 in Ukrainian.

It will be mailed on Thursday and she should receive it by Wednesday if DHL has given me the correct information (4 business days).

I'm thinking her interview date will probably be 2 to 3 months from now.

My cousin and his wife are schoolteachers and have been giving me advice and a Community College near me offers ESL classes. I have found several churches in the area also.

[Todd]

I'm not sure if a recent data point will help, but I submitted the initial paperwork for the fiance visa around January 6 or 7th.  I believe it got to the embassy in Warsaw in early/mid March.  We were notified in April that the day of our interview is tomorrow, May 13.  The process in Warsaw is that the interview takes place in the morning, and you receive your visa in the afternoon.  So, from beginning to end, the elapsed time was just over 5 months.  Incidentally, for Warsaw, at the beginning of each month, you can look on-line to see if they have scheduled your interview for that month (just in case the mail is slow.)

Hope this helps; looking forward to having tomorrow over,

Todd

 

P.S.  I was just waiting to hear how some of the old-timers walked five miles uphill in the snow each way when they went to school during the childhood.  (Sorry, I couldn't resist.  )

[Turboguy]

[user=130]Son of Clyde[/user] wrote:

My cousin and his wife are schoolteachers and have been giving me advice and a Community College near me offers ESL classes. I have found several churches in the area also.

You might also check with the University of Maryland, Son of Clyde.   Here in this rinky dink place our local branch of Penn State University offers them and there is no charge for the course.   They seem like they do a pretty good job.  We had an article in our local Beaver County Times about it a month ago.  I have clipped the article to take with me to show my fiancee when I visit her next week.

 

[Son of Clyde]

The package is on it's way.

I used a clear plastic folder to put all the paperwork in. I clipped the papers together in 5 or 6 places according to the type of material. And I included the English & Ukrainian Packet3.

The package weighs in at 2 pounds.

I think this SNL routine was lifted from Leave it to Beaver. Ward Cleaver told the same story of walking 5 miles to school, barefoot, in the snow.