OK, you passed stage 1 - you are 'in' to each other.. Some signs ?))

[msmobyone]

I am often asked - why do you prefer a Women from the former Soviet Union as opposed to a local lass?

The answer I give is 'their mentality' if they are 'in' to you......

Little things change.. It is suggested that you should - in my case - eat more fruits and salads and 'eat more healthier' ..I already thought I did...

Now that I'm back in the UK I already miss going to the market with S.C and buying fresh fruit, veg and Black Honey - I disliked honey before - only using it with lemon and hot Irish Whiskey - if I came down with  cold/flu.



I am also instructed to 'drink' raw eggs - 3/day - as it will make me 'strong' - in direct conflict with Edwina Currie in 1988

http://news.bbc.co.uk/onthisday/hi/dates/stories/december/3/newsid_2519000/2519451.stm ..the local farmer loves me and his eggs can't keep up ...


I MISS being brought freshly mixed concoctions of mixed vegetables and fruits - not being allowed to ask what is in them ..' just drink '  ..

This is a question for all of those, married, dating or with experience as the FSUW..

What made you realise... ''I would miss this'' - if it was taken away from me ?

[AC]

Great post Moby, and I agree with your opinion that it's a certain mentality and caring, and all the little things which go into that.  As far as being healthy we all seem to need to focus on this.  Being currently in a new town I found a health food store which makes organic carrot juice.  Great stuff and very good for your health. 

I am curious, does Russia allow fluoridation of their drinking water?  As you probably know there has been ongoing controversy about this for quite a while.  I know that FSU people clearly prefer "natural" or "organic" meats.  What about their drinking water?

[msmobyone]

Thanks, AC

Re flouride - I don't think so ... I can only find mentions of it having being added to milk  / yoghurt 

[ML]

Not another attempt to glorify FSUW ! ?

Nothing at all different about them compared to WW except they are generally more slender.

And this healthy food crap of an idea?

This can happen anywhere in the world . . . well at least in the western world.

A woman can be considerate of her man (and vice versa) anywhere in the world regardless of nationality.

Only reason for seeking out woman from FSU is that you can find a greater abundance of slender women; AND you can trade up on several characteristics because of economics.

The great woman you can attain in FSU is no better than her counterpart woman in WW . . . except that you cannot attain this same WW.

[Anathema]

I don't imagine that's a very popular view here, ML, but I pretty much agree with you.

[jone]

There is a feature here that is not represented in Western Women.  Some  Many FSU women don't want to mess with a young guy who is going to have many (alleged) insecurities.   While it would sound silly to most, this a very serious thing in many of the FSU women that I have talked to. 

I remember coming on these forums a couple of years back and many were chiding age gap relationships.  Now that I (apparently) am in one, I understand much of the attitude of the FSU women.    These attitudes are not prevalent in the United States or many Western Countries in our women.  But they seem to be present in the FSU countries.

So I would add to the list that FSU women are more ammenable to age gap marriages whereas their western counterparts not so much so.

[Boethius]

Or they are just telling you what they believe you (a relatively "old" guy)  want to hear.
 
If this attitude were so prevalent, most FSUW would be married to much older FSUM.  Most are not, and never have been.

[Chicagoguy]

As my wife explains to me "there are not as many older Russian men".

[jone]

Or they are just telling you what they believe you (a relatively "old" guy)  want to hear.
 
If this attitude were so prevalent, most FSUW would be married to much older FSUM.  Most are not, and never have been.

Actually, all kidding aside, this is a topic that should be discussed on this forum.  I was not the instigator of these conversations.  Many of the women that I have talked to simply wanted to be married to someone 'older' without labeling the age relationship.

Personally, I saw myself as a unique case was happy to discount it as such.  But Boe, you toe the party line on this and I am no longer of the opinion that I once had which was close to your own.  I'm not saying that these women are out looking for geezer central.  But I have heard it from couples similar to my own situation that the woman was actually looking for someone older.  It is relatively unheard of in the society that I grew up in.

Perhaps it is because I now associate with many such couples? 

I think it would be valuable to the forum to re-ignite this conversation without maliciousness, but with something to add to the forum database. 

Are legitimate FSUW seeking WM considering age gap is inconsequential?  What is the story on websites like Lucky Lovers and Elenas that are not trying to lure men into spending money (as opposed to PPC and PPL sites which make money from mismatched conversation)?

Are there couples that you know among WW and WM that have substantial age gaps where women were interested in an older man from the onset?

[Boethius]

Are there couples that you know among WW and WM that have substantial age gaps
where women were interested in an older man from the onset?

No.  None.
 
However, I have known a fair number of Western couples with significant age gaps, the largest being 30 years, who were in seemingly in love and happily married.  But in all of the cases, the woman was 35 or older when she married her husband.

I can't think of one FSUM/FSUW couple I know, either in the FSU or here (married in the FSU - there are a lot of Ukrainian, and many Russian immigrants here) who have an age difference of more than 4 years, give or take.

 

[Boethius]

Are legitimate FSUW seeking WM considering age gap inconsequential?  What is the story on websites like Lucky Lovers and Elenas that are not trying to lure men into spending money (as opposed to PPC and PPL sites which make money from mismatched conversation)?

I suspect yes.  There is a common saying in that part of the world - "When there is no meat, eat fish."

[LAman]

Are legitimate FSUW seeking WM considering age gap is inconsequential?  What is the story on websites like Lucky Lovers and Elenas that are not trying to lure men into spending money (as opposed to PPC and PPL sites which make money from mismatched conversation)?

yes....and in about.......................... 2 years the girl usually comes to her senses.

[SANDRO43]

I've always looked younger than my age - e.g. when I was 18 in the early 1960s, I looked more like 15 - and the local girls of my age group would say that they preferred more mature boys , even though they were not from the FSU. But then a possible marriage partner was much more in their minds than later.

18 y.o.

But life is fair after all, this handicap turned into an advantage subsequently .

[LAman]

Not another attempt to glorify FSUW ! ?

Nothing at all different about them compared to WW except they are generally more slender.

And this healthy food crap of an idea?

This can happen anywhere in the world . . . well at least in the western world.

A woman can be considerate of her man (and vice versa) anywhere in the world regardless of nationality.

Only reason for seeking out woman from FSU is that you can find a greater abundance of slender women; AND you can trade up on several characteristics because of economics.

The great woman you can attain in FSU is no better than her counterpart woman in WW . . . except that you cannot attain this same WW.

I completely agree with you ML...... it seems only areas such as in FSU, Asia, Central/South America that chasing younger women is prevalent. Its all about what you can bring to the 'table'. Hello Miss Looks.....this is Mr Pocketbook!!!!! 

[jone]

I kinda doubted that I'd get any real discussion here.  Am a little disappointed. 

I know that I have certain attributes which attract a younger woman.  My zip code, my avocation, whatever. 

But many of the couples that I have met do not have my advantages.  I asked one gal from Belarus why she hooked up with a guy 25 years her senior.  She said that she felt that in the years to come she would age faster than her husband.    Now this is a beautiful gal who had Los Angeles at her finger tips.  Her guy is in the computer business and does not have a lot of money.  He lives in a condo in the Hollywood hills area and my guess is that he's on his third marriage after some discussion.

I would put her pics up here from VK, but don't want to invade their privacy.  They are a fun and good looking couple. 

Does regional mores have something to do with these attitudes?  Dunno. 

[Boethius]

I don't know what sort of discussion you are looking for.  I reject your assertion that FSUW seek out much older men, and that this is cultural.  You have been to Ukraine.  You probably saw Ukrainian couples walking together.  How many of them had large age gaps?  If your assertion were accurate, you should have seen lots of age disparate couples.  You just don't see that very often there, unless the man is moneyed. 
 

[Bee Farmer]

Are there couples that you know among WW and WM that have substantial age gaps where women were interested in an older man from the onset?

My dad was 9 years older than my mom.  My mom's dad was about 10 years older than Grandma.

I have a distant cousin.  When he started seeing his wife, she was 18 or 19, and he was in his mid-30's.  They have been married for 15 or 20 years.

Both of my sisters have daddy issues and have always liked older guys.  Both married (and divorced) guys within a few years of their age though, and had kids.  (Neither sister has any intentions of any more kids.)  My oldest sister remarried a guy who is 11 years older than her, but appears significantly older since he is going bald.  My other sister is engaged to a guy who is 17 years older than her.

I know of a pastor of a local church.  He has to be in his mid-60s, and his wife looks is around 40, and they have kids that are late teenagers.

From my observation, when girls go after guys who are significantly older, the girls usually have daddy issues.

[fathertime]

There is a feature here that is not represented in Western Women.  Some  Many FSU women don't want to mess with a young guy who is going to have many (alleged) insecurities.   While it would sound silly to most, this a very serious thing in many of the FSU women that I have talked to. 

I remember coming on these forums a couple of years back and many were chiding age gap relationships.  Now that I (apparently) am in one, I understand much of the attitude of the FSU women.    These attitudes are not prevalent in the United States or many Western Countries in our women.  But they seem to be present in the FSU countries.

So I would add to the list that FSU women are more ammenable to age gap marriages whereas their western counterparts not so much so.

RE age gaps:   I was in Vegas last year...met a young guy of around 24 years, he loved older women in their 40's...i listened to him talk about it, and he genuinely preferred older women.  He was a handsome young man and could easily attract women his own age if he wanted to.  He seemed to be drawn to 'less drama' and a woman 'who knows what she wants'.     


With all that said, I can see how a subset of ladies with similar experiences growing up might also decide that they like/prefer older men. It doesn't have to be a majority, perhaps just a minority of say 20% or so, if that is the case then there would be more than enough for western  men travelling to find plenty of potential young matches.   There are genuine traits that many somewhat older men possess (on average) that younger men do not,patience/loyalty/greater empathy/ability to communicate more effectively/grey hair.   


In Colombia there is also an acceptance or even an attraction to a distinguished/accomplished man, just so long as he isn't TOO old, or bad looking.  I also realize that this man would likely already have a thicker wallet as a byproduct of his attributes.  When the package is put together, an older man can often find himself swarmed with options,especially if he is the fun outgoing type...and yes of course he picks up the tab...but nobody is taking the money to the afterlife so why not?  In my opinion the ability to provide well is just as important as very good looks to a percentage of ladies!


Fathertime!   

[ML]

I kinda doubted that I'd get any real discussion here.  Am a little disappointed. 

I know that I have certain attributes which attract a younger woman.  My zip code, my avocation, whatever. 

But many of the couples that I have met do not have my advantages.  I asked one gal from Belarus why she hooked up with a guy 25 years her senior.  She said that she felt that in the years to come she would age faster than her husband.    Now this is a beautiful gal who had Los Angeles at her finger tips.  Her guy is in the computer business and does not have a lot of money.  He lives in a condo in the Hollywood hills area and my guess is that he's on his third marriage after some discussion.

I would put her pics up here from VK, but don't want to invade their privacy.  They are a fun and good looking couple. 

Does regional mores have something to do with these attitudes?  Dunno.

Jone, the reason you may not get any 'real' discussion here is that this topic was literally beat to death several years ago before you became a member.

So most everything that you could say has already been said many times before.

There are those who have listed a hundred reasons why FSUW want or like we older WM; and others who have debunked each of those hundred reasons.

Mostly it comes down to the guys here don't want to admit (causes cognitive dissonance) that the women don't want them for themselves; but rather the women want WM for economic reasons.

Now it is true that what starts out as an economic transaction can blossom into real love . . . but rarely does it start out that way.

I have always been very realistic about this and never tried to talk myself into the idea that I must really be a great catch because so many FSU gals were interested in me.

Yes I was likeable and fun to be with . . . but if a younger FSUM were available with my resources, 95 percent of the FSUW I spent time with would not have given me the time of day . . . just like their counterparts here in USA.

My Ochka was not first attracted to me because of what my economic situation could do for her; but in a somewhat related circumstance, she was attracted to me because she knew (or at least thought) that I would not be after her money unlike many FSUM.

So it was still an economic attraction.  But as she didn't need my money, and I didn't need her money . . . we had a very nice relationship which grew into true love over time.

[jone]

I don't know what sort of discussion you are looking for.  I reject your assertion that FSUW seek out much older men, and that this is cultural.  You have been to Ukraine.  You probably saw Ukrainian couples walking together.  How many of them had large age gaps?  If your assertion were accurate, you should have seen lots of age disparate couples.  You just don't see that very often there, unless the man is moneyed.

And you live in an area of Canada that is even more static than where I grew up in the Midwest.  Here, in California, it is now common to see multi racial marriages where a generation ago it wasn't.  In country, in Ukraine, I would be very surprised to see an age gap marriage.  As Chicago man was stating, a Ukrainian man typically does not live past 65.  That is the average age of death in Ukraine.  It would be a bad bet for a young lady to marry an older man.  I still think it is a bad bet.  But since I am the beneficiary of the woman's wager, I will not complain.

But here in the States, I was sharing some direct observations.  I know quite a few age gap marriages in Southern California. 

Dunno anymore what 'much older men' means anymore. 

[jone]

Jone, the reason you may not get any 'real' discussion here is that this topic was literally beat to death several years ago before you became a member.

So most everything that you could say has already been said many times before.

There are those who have listed a hundred reasons why FSUW want or like we older WM; and others who have debunked each of those hundred reasons.

Mostly it comes down to the guys here don't want to admit (causes cognitive dissonance) that the women don't want them for themselves; but rather the women want WM for economic reasons.

Now it is true that what starts out as an economic transaction can blossom into real love . . . but rarely does it start out that way.

I have always been very realistic about this and never tried to talk myself into the idea that I must really be a great catch because so many FSU gals were interested in me.

Yes I was likeable and fun to be with . . . but if a younger FSUM were available with my resources, 95 percent of the FSUW I spent time with would not have given me the time of day . . . just like their counterparts here in USA.

My Ochka was not first attracted to me because of what my economic situation could do for her; but in a somewhat related circumstance, she was attracted to me because she knew (or at least thought) that I would not be after her money unlike many FSUM.

So it was still an economic attraction.  But as she didn't need my money, and I didn't need her money . . . we had a very nice relationship which grew into true love over time.

ML,

We've traveled many of the same paths.  I am certain that my gal's original interest was economic.  And mine was more instinctual.

But I hold no illusions that I am the catch of the century.  Not even the catch of the day.  So you are saying that the answer lies in the stability that the older guy brings to the relationship.  Whether it is financial or success or experience?  I will buy that.  Sometimes it is simply availability.

Many younger guys are obsessed with making money and getting ahead where I live.  They make poor husbands and fathers.  One thing I have seen is that  FSU women want to be stay at home moms if possible.  A stable husband would allow that to happen.

I don't have great observations.  I'm simply trying to sort through things as I see them.

[msmobyone]

Are there couples that you know among WW and WM that have substantial age gaps where women were interested in an older man from the onset?

Yes,

My former neighbours.. He is 59 and she is 31 !

When I first saw them moving in I thought the man was helping his single Mum daughter.

They subsequently married and had another kid.


She certainly didn't marry him for his money - she says for his character, nature and she knew he'd make a great Dad..which he does.

His wife is very attractive and they create lots of gossip. Her facebookpage makes it perfectly clear how pleased she was to be in a relationship with him and that was 8 years ago...

Most couples would be glad to be as 'tight' as they are.

Marriages like theirs and WM/FSUW like Turbos made me realise that many of my perceptions re partnerships were too fixed.

[msmobyone]

I can't think of one FSUM/FSUW couple I know, either in the FSU or here (married in the FSU - there are a lot of Ukrainian, and many Russian immigrants here) who have an age difference of more than 4 years, give or take.

They are not uncommon - Ed, Roman Abramovich and for all we know, Putin  .....

[msmobyone]

Not another attempt to glorify FSUW ! ?

ML, Kindly remember that not all of us have been on this site a long time, but in my short, recent experience I have observed you glorify your good lady's 'difference' ... and that's wonderful !

Nothing at all different about them compared to WW except they are generally more slender.

A short read of your own post history suggests even you believe  otherwise..

And this healthy food crap of an idea?

This can happen anywhere in the world . . . well at least in the western world.

A woman can be considerate of her man (and vice versa) anywhere in the world regardless of nationality.

Only reason for seeking out woman from FSU is that you can find a greater abundance of slender women; AND you can trade up on several characteristics because of economics.

Again, you burst you own assertion in this very thread - as I have dated FSUW who are probably better off than me - following divorce and it's - rightful- obligations to one's kids by the former marriage. You point out your partner did not seek an economic upgrade.

 

The great woman you can attain in FSU is no better than her counterpart woman in WW . . . except that you cannot attain this same WW.

I seriously beg to differ.... there are many super WW that would make great partners, but most - for me -miss the degree of 'exoticness' and mentality that many FSUW possess.

It is an all too common falicy that guys can pull a better looking woman than he could in the west.. based on his 'dating skills / attractiveness' ..

I DO agree with you that there are still more women who are slimmer for a given age and care about their appearance.

I am grateful to all who have responded , so far, and hope that - despite this topic having been 'flogged to death' elsewhere in the archives it has some more legs and wildly differing opinions

[Boethius]

And you live in an area of Canada that is even more static than where I grew up in the Midwest. 

You are mistaken.  Almost 30% of the residents of my city are foreign born.  I encounter people who can't speak English at all, or with a very strong accent, every single day (the better half excluded).

Here, in California, it is now common to see multi racial marriages where a generation ago it wasn't.

Very common here as well.

In country, in Ukraine, I would be very surprised to see an age gap marriage.  As Chicago man was stating, a Ukrainian man typically does not live past 65.  That is the average age of death in Ukraine.  It would be a bad bet for a young lady to marry an older man.  I still think it is a bad bet.  But since I am the beneficiary of the woman's wager, I will not complain.

Twenty something Ukrainian girls are not looking for sixty year old men, period.

But here in the States, I was sharing some direct observations.  I know quite a few age gap marriages in Southern California. 

Doesn't that negate your statement about WW not wanting age gaps?