It appears you have not registered with our community. To register please click here ...

!!

Welcome to Russian Women Discussion - the most informative site for all things related to serious long-term relationships and marriage to a partner from the Former Soviet Union countries!

Please register (it's free!) to gain full access to the many features and benefits of the site. Welcome!

+-

Author Topic: Hello  (Read 7706 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Rembrandt

  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 26
Hello
« on: October 31, 2014, 02:03:05 AM »
Glad I found this forum.

My name is David, and I'm originally from San Francisco, but currently working in Sydney Australia.

I'm not too sure how these introductions go, so I'll just write whatever comes to mind.

My love life can be described as 'mediocre' if you're optimistic; or 'pathetic' if you're a pessimist. I did all the usual things, studied well, went to an Ivy League school, graduated with high marks and got a job as a job in I.T. security for a prestigious communications company.

I thought I did all the right things, however, my love life sucked! I'd walk around the city of San Francisco, and see couples holding hand, walking side-by-side all the time, and I'd be happy for them but it also exacerbated my sense of loneliness. After having an unsuccessful foray into the pick-up sub-culture--I wasted 4 years of my life hitting on random girls every weekend at bars and on the street--I decided to take another route in finding my life partner.

Eventually I discovered the world of international romance, and joined a prominent dating website specializing in FSU women. It was the best decision I've ever made, because now I'm engaged and am expecting my fiance to be joining me in several months.

In the process of finding my fiance though, I did unfortunately get scammed big time.

I've read some posts here and there on this forum, and in no way claim to be an expert in FSU women and their psyche, however, I do hope to be able to make a contribution to this forum, and in the process help other guys in the situation I was in, not too long ago, in finding the love of their life.

That's it from me for now anyway, I hope to get to know some of the regulars here as time goes by.

Offline I/O

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 4873
  • Country: au
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Russia
  • Status: Married > 10 years
  • Trips: > 10
Re: Hello
« Reply #1 on: October 31, 2014, 03:53:48 AM »
Righto, spill all the good oil on the new squeeze - enquiring minds need to know?

Offline Rembrandt

  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 26
Re: Hello
« Reply #2 on: October 31, 2014, 08:57:20 AM »
Righto, spill all the good oil on the new squeeze - enquiring minds need to know?

She's from Almaty, Kazakhstan. Her mother is Russian Tartar, and her father Crimean Tartar (I love mentioning that.)

I don't want to sound too sentimental, but she's feminine, caring and responsible; reminiscent of your "girl next door". Oh, and did I mention she's hot! I hate to say this, but if your typical American or Australian girl had the same body as her, they'd be a lot more arrogant and over-entitled. Whenever I'm with her, I'm dumbfounded as to how someone so attractive can also be so humble and down-to-earth.

As soon as I met her, I knew the attraction between us was mutual. We just vibed with each other very well.

She's technically a red head, but don't tell her that because she says her hair colour is blonde. She's 24 years of age--I'm 31. I proposed to her the second time I went to Almaty (Been there 3 times now). Don't know what else to say, but if you have any questions, feel free to ask and I'm more than happy to answer them :)

I'm from San Francisco originally, but have been in Sydney, Australia, for the last 2.5 years now. What makes things complicated is I intend to apply for permanenet residency in Australia soon, but want to find out if that'll prolong the length of time me and her have to stay apart. It might be easier just flying back to the States and getting a fiance visa whilst there. I'm not too sure what to do, but next I've made an appointment with a migration specialist in two weeks time, so fingers crossed.

BTW I/O, I don't know where in Australia you're from, but what I will say is that during the last couple of years I've been here, I've become a massive fan of rugby league. :)

Offline AC

  • Banned Member
  • *
  • Posts: 2321
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: No Selection
  • Status: Looking 1-2 years
  • Trips: 1 - 3
Re: Hello
« Reply #3 on: October 31, 2014, 09:10:34 AM »
things, studied well, went to an Ivy League school, graduated with high marks and got a job as a job in I.T. security for a prestigious communications company.


Which proves that even well educated smart men sometimes lose their common sense (I am referring to the scammer story you posted).  After an experience like that I never would have gone back but apparently you did.  Congratulations on turning things around.

 :welcome:

Offline Gator

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 16987
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Russia
  • Status: Married 5-10 years
  • Trips: > 10
Re: Hello
« Reply #4 on: October 31, 2014, 09:28:14 AM »
Rembrandt

 :welcome:

Thanks for joining.

Everyone has a different story and you introduce us to something new - a Yank immigrating to Australia and marrying a FSUW.  You have made the right decision in seeking professional immigration advice.

We wish you the best.





Eventually I discovered the world of international romance, and joined a prominent dating website specializing in FSU women. It was the best decision I've ever made, because now I'm engaged and am expecting my fiance to be joining me in several months.

In the process of finding my fiance though, I did unfortunately get scammed big time.


Did meeting your fiancée and getting scammed happen through the same dating website?

Offline Rembrandt

  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 26
Re: Hello
« Reply #5 on: October 31, 2014, 09:50:29 AM »
Rembrandt

 :welcome:

Thanks for joining.

Everyone has a different story and you introduce us to something new - a Yank immigrating to Australia and marrying a FSUW.  You have made the right decision in seeking professional immigration advice.

We wish you the best.




Did meeting your fiancée and getting scammed happen through the same dating website?

At the risk of sounding like a complete imbecile, yes, I met both of them from Elena's Models. To potentially exacerbate some peoples incredulity, I met her about 2 months after getting scammed.

I was reading a lot of Sartre and going through this bleak period of existentialism--after realising I spent basically all my teenage, college and 20s being dateless and single--and saw the path I was heading towards 10 or 20 years down the track amongst my work colleagues (I.T. and engineering is FILLED with single lonely guys). I basically came to the conclusion that if I didn't want to end up like them, then something had to change, so I decided to bite the bullet and travel to meet up with a girl whenever I had the chance.

Glad it worked out in the end. The second time I ended up booking a ridiculously expensive hotel in Almaty, and did my research to protect myself against getting scammed, or killed.

Offline Patagonie

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3257
  • Country: fr
  • Gender: Male
  • >25 travels
  • Spouse's Country: Ukraine
  • Status: Married 3-5 years
  • Trips: > 10
Re: Hello
« Reply #6 on: October 31, 2014, 04:01:58 PM »
There is nothing wrong to chase on Elena Model. It is (it was ?) one of the best site to meet eastern women.
You wrote "After having an unsuccessful foray into the pick-up sub-culture". Do you mean that you have been involved in the pua stuff ?
You seem to learn quickly, that is a positive quality, combined with having a goal this is useful when you want to be married with an FSU woman.
"Je glissais through the paper wall, an angel in the hand, s taboy. I lay on the floor, surgi des chants de Maldoror, je mix l'intégrale de mes nuits de crystal, i belong to the festival.

Offline Ludmila

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 418
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Female
  • Spouse's Country: No Selection
  • Status: Married > 10 years
  • Trips: None (yet)
Re: Hello
« Reply #7 on: November 01, 2014, 04:56:09 PM »
Hi Rembrandt, glad it finally worked for you! You sound as a very nice person deserving a really great lady. Please, tell me what an American girl of the same looks and merits would expect to be entitled to here in America in general, and in SanFran ( where there's shortage of quality ladies) in particular.

Offline Rembrandt

  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 26
Re: Hello
« Reply #8 on: November 01, 2014, 06:30:48 PM »
There is nothing wrong to chase on Elena Model. It is (it was ?) one of the best site to meet eastern women.
You wrote "After having an unsuccessful foray into the pick-up sub-culture". Do you mean that you have been involved in the pua stuff ?
You seem to learn quickly, that is a positive quality, combined with having a goal this is useful when you want to be married with an FSU woman.

Yes, unfortunately I was apart of the whole PUA scene. I guess it was a misnomer to say it was a complete waste of time, because during that time spent I did become a lot more confident with women, and given some of success I had, I learnt I wasn't completely invisible to women. The unfortunate thing about the PUA sub-culture, is it advocates misogynistic behavior, and mocks men who want to get into long-term relationships instead of living the life of a "boss", "player", "alpha-male" etc.

The problem with the PUA scene is that it hooks men in by maintaining that being good with women is a "skill-set", and any guy, regardless of looks, financial status and other external factors, can get the women of their dreams if only they have the correct "skill-set". It neglects to treat women like people, and advocates for this mentality that perceives women as these protoplasmic, inanimate object that responds only to the cues of an aplha-male. Like they have no automonmy to think for themselves.
« Last Edit: November 01, 2014, 06:34:09 PM by Rembrandt »

Offline Ludmila

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 418
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Female
  • Spouse's Country: No Selection
  • Status: Married > 10 years
  • Trips: None (yet)
Re: Hello
« Reply #9 on: November 01, 2014, 06:31:35 PM »
Rembrandt, please , don't bother to answer.

Offline Rembrandt

  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 26
Re: Hello
« Reply #10 on: November 01, 2014, 06:51:47 PM »
Rembrandt, please , don't bother to answer.


I'm more than happy to answer. There is a laundry list of things that make American/Western women less desireable in general for long-term relationships than their FSU counterpart. The difficult thing is that to give an honest reply, I need to some to think about how to convey things clearly without potentially offending anybody.

Yes, in San Francisco there is a surplus of successful bachelors. It isn't a problem with the city of San Francisco in particular, but a problem with the psyche of the Western women.

In general us silicon valley geeks aren't seen as "desireable" despite how successful we are.

Offline AC

  • Banned Member
  • *
  • Posts: 2321
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: No Selection
  • Status: Looking 1-2 years
  • Trips: 1 - 3
Re: Hello
« Reply #11 on: November 01, 2014, 07:40:54 PM »
Rembrandt, please , don't bother to answer.

You want the truth?  You can't handle the truth!   :-*

Offline I/O

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 4873
  • Country: au
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Russia
  • Status: Married > 10 years
  • Trips: > 10
Re: Hello
« Reply #12 on: November 01, 2014, 10:53:34 PM »
BTW I/O, I don't know where in Australia you're from, but what I will say is that during the last couple of years I've been here, I've become a massive fan of rugby league. :)
From where your lot just regained the 'origin' title.

Just a point of note, I haven't much time for migration agents on the whole because to date, I haven't seen one achieve anything I couldn't myself for a lot less money. That said, in your situation I might think differently - on that point, I'd be cautious about returning to the states, completing a K1 and then trying to translate that to Au. I'm thinking that would be seen by Au immi as a ploy to get someone in whom may have no intention of remaining with you. Basically as an Au PR you have all the same rights as a citizen so I'd think that would be the best base to work from.....

Offline pitbull

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1412
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Female
  • Spouse's Country: No Selection
  • Status: Married 5-10 years
  • Trips: None (yet)
Re: Hello
« Reply #13 on: November 02, 2014, 06:41:25 AM »
Yes, unfortunately I was apart of the whole PUA scene. I guess it was a misnomer to say it was a complete waste of time, because during that time spent I did become a lot more confident with women, and given some of success I had, I learnt I wasn't completely invisible to women. The unfortunate thing about the PUA sub-culture, is it advocates misogynistic behavior, and mocks men who want to get into long-term relationships instead of living the life of a "boss", "player", "alpha-male" etc.

The problem with the PUA scene is that it hooks men in by maintaining that being good with women is a "skill-set", and any guy, regardless of looks, financial status and other external factors, can get the women of their dreams if only they have the correct "skill-set". It neglects to treat women like people, and advocates for this mentality that perceives women as these protoplasmic, inanimate object that responds only to the cues of an aplha-male. Like they have no automonmy to think for themselves.

Hi Rembrandt,
 
I like what you wrote. You have a good head on your shoulders. Hope it works out really well with your fiancée.
Be the person that your dog thinks you are

Offline Lily

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2856
  • Country: ca
  • Gender: Female
  • Spouse's Country: No Selection
  • Status: Looking > 5 years
  • Trips: Resident
Re: Hello
« Reply #14 on: November 02, 2014, 07:19:58 AM »

In general us silicon valley geeks aren't seen as "desireable" despite how successful we are.

Why not? Why success does not attract women?
Da, da, Canada; Nyet, nyet, Soviet!

Offline BillyB

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 16105
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Ukraine
  • Status: Married 5-10 years
  • Trips: > 10
Re: Hello
« Reply #15 on: November 02, 2014, 09:33:40 AM »


My love life can be described as 'mediocre' if you're optimistic; or 'pathetic' if you're a pessimist. I did all the usual things, studied well, went to an Ivy League school, graduated with high marks and got a job as a job in I.T. security for a prestigious communications company.

I thought I did all the right things, however, my love life sucked! I'd walk around the city of San Francisco, and see couples holding hand, walking side-by-side all the time, and I'd be happy for them but it also exacerbated my sense of loneliness. After having an unsuccessful foray into the pick-up sub-culture--I wasted 4 years of my life hitting on random girls every weekend at bars and on the street--I decided to take another route in finding my life partner.



Just as you excelled in school and at work, you can excel at women. I have a guy who works for me. He's the second ugliest person in the company and he finds women at the bar all the time for one night stands and short term thrills. The women are a few steps below my tastes but he is successful with women because he has confidence and not afraid to approach and talk to them.


Grats on finding a great woman but some of the things that turned women off to you may eventually turn your fiancée off too. Based on what you've said so far, you can support the materialistic needs of a woman but what about the other needs? If you are not a good communicator, learn to get better. If you aren't very observant, learn to pay attention to your lady's emotions and respond accordingly. Be a man, don't react like a woman. If she wanted to marry a woman, she wouldn't be marrying you. Don't ever tell her about the scamming you've experience or other incidences of people taking advantage of you. A woman can't love you if she doesn't respect you. If you believe talking about all the bad things in your life will get you sympathy, it won't. But thanks for sharing your story here so vulnerable men looking for love don't fall into the same trap.
Fund the audits, spread the word and educate people, write your politicians and other elected officials. Stay active in the fight to save our country. Over 220 generals and admirals say we are in a fight for our survival like no other time since 1776.

Offline I/O

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 4873
  • Country: au
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Russia
  • Status: Married > 10 years
  • Trips: > 10
Re: Hello
« Reply #16 on: November 02, 2014, 02:55:41 PM »
Don't ever tell her about the scamming you've experience or other incidences of people taking advantage of you.
I so disagree with this. Any relationship based on papering over weaknesses to keep them hidden will never survive. What our hero in this story needs to be certain of is quite the opposite, whatever his weaknesses, she will compliment them with her strengths and he will do likewise for her.

Offline AC

  • Banned Member
  • *
  • Posts: 2321
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: No Selection
  • Status: Looking 1-2 years
  • Trips: 1 - 3
Re: Hello
« Reply #17 on: November 02, 2014, 03:22:46 PM »
Why not? Why success does not attract women?

I will just make a generalization and say that more American women seem to be looking for guys who are or were jocks, and fewer American women seem to accept the success of a tech geek as being "success" however this is changing (I'm probably basing my opinion on what I've read about Soviet Union women; and some of this might be "fantasy" fodder).

Offline BillyB

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 16105
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Ukraine
  • Status: Married 5-10 years
  • Trips: > 10
Re: Hello
« Reply #18 on: November 03, 2014, 06:22:55 AM »
I so disagree with this. Any relationship based on papering over weaknesses to keep them hidden will never survive. What our hero in this story needs to be certain of is quite the opposite, whatever his weaknesses, she will compliment them with her strengths and he will do likewise for her.


Whatever his weaknesses? He's at the point of his life where he's supposed to be wise and strong for his woman and should've learned from his mistakes, thus he's not weak anymore and not hiding or needing strength from his fiancée.

Rembrandt has choices when talking to his woman. He can complain or compliment. He can discuss intelligent or stupid things. He can talk about good or bad. What are the better choices? If he wants sympathy by disclosing he got scammed $8500, he's not going to get it. It's best he stick with talking about the good people he met in his wife's culture than the bad.
Fund the audits, spread the word and educate people, write your politicians and other elected officials. Stay active in the fight to save our country. Over 220 generals and admirals say we are in a fight for our survival like no other time since 1776.

Offline Gator

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 16987
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Russia
  • Status: Married 5-10 years
  • Trips: > 10
Re: Hello
« Reply #19 on: November 03, 2014, 08:56:57 AM »
I will just make a generalization and say that more American women seem to be looking for guys who are or were jocks....


Yes, in high school.  I am an old fossil, yet I have two adult sons, and I don't see intelligent women having a fascination for jocks (other than a one night fling).

Quote
...and fewer American women seem to accept the success of a tech geek as being "success"....

How does Rembrandt define success?  If he holds a high income IT job in a large company, then he offers security and stability.  That is great, yet many people would not define that as success.  Success IMO at his age would feature significant accomplishments, concrete plans to do even more, confidence and energy to achieve his plans, a growing number of business connections, a full life with popular friends and interests outside of work, .....  such could easily be a young business executive or entrepreneur, in tech or law or whatever. 

Most fine women are attracted to such men, even men with average looks.   Add into the mix some charm and wit, and such a man could essentially have any woman. 

Such men do not have the time nor interest to play a lot of video games.  Such men do not pursue 19-yo women.  Such men do not venture into Russia and walk around in a naïve state expecting everyone to be honest and helpful.   

The important point is that Rembrandt has not only matured, he has become much wiser.  And the Saratov episode was part of his education.   He now knows what he wants and has found it.  May he and his fiancée have a great love together.   

Offline I/O

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 4873
  • Country: au
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Russia
  • Status: Married > 10 years
  • Trips: > 10
Re: Hello
« Reply #20 on: November 04, 2014, 03:32:39 PM »
Billy -  For almost every (exceptional is rare, even by definition) relationship, the day will come when a woman discovers her man is just an average Joe despite what you have rattled on for years about male leadership, strengths and so forth - when the relationship survives that juncture, it's the real deal.

Offline BillyB

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 16105
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Ukraine
  • Status: Married 5-10 years
  • Trips: > 10
Re: Hello
« Reply #21 on: November 04, 2014, 04:57:09 PM »
the day will come when a woman discovers her man is just an average Joe



All men were born equal, equally helpless but they don't end up equal and average. I don't get sleepless nights worrying my wife is going to wake up one day thinking I'm average. Never had the addictions other men get. Never done the stupid things when I was a teenager. I don't think Rembrandt and other men need to disclose every dumb thing they've done in the past due to fear their woman will find out someday. Now if Rembrandt didn't learn his lesson and still vulnerable to getting scammed for thousands and is the type of guy will buy a bridge named "Brooklyn" every time someone has one to sell, then it's best he warn his fiancée now before marriage that money and him like to part ways on a regular basis. If he's matured and wiser, the past is the past. He ain't the same guy anymore. No need to disclose the old self. That is not who she is marrying.
Fund the audits, spread the word and educate people, write your politicians and other elected officials. Stay active in the fight to save our country. Over 220 generals and admirals say we are in a fight for our survival like no other time since 1776.

Offline I/O

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 4873
  • Country: au
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Russia
  • Status: Married > 10 years
  • Trips: > 10
Re: Hello
« Reply #22 on: November 04, 2014, 05:18:31 PM »
All men were born equal, equally helpless but they don't end up equal
Ah yes they do - they come into this world toothless, helpless, dribbling, in nappies (pampers) and go out the same way. :P

 

+-RWD Stats

Members
Total Members: 8883
Latest: Leroy14
New This Month: 1
New This Week: 0
New Today: 0
Stats
Total Posts: 541013
Total Topics: 20849
Most Online Today: 2013
Most Online Ever: 12701
(January 14, 2020, 07:04:55 AM)
Users Online
Members: 11
Guests: 1887
Total: 1898

+-Recent Posts

Re: American With Russian Fiancé - Scheduled For K1 Interview In Warsaw, BUT.... by Infoman
Today at 06:28:48 PM

American With Russian Fiancé - Scheduled For K1 Interview In Warsaw, BUT.... by 2tallbill
Today at 04:48:07 PM

Re: What to do by krimster2
Today at 04:37:18 PM

If you don't know what you are talking about, post away anyway by 2tallbill
Today at 04:17:08 PM

Re: American With Russian Fiancé - Scheduled For K1 Interview In Warsaw, BUT.... by krimster2
Today at 02:48:08 PM

Re: What to do by krimster2
Today at 01:09:03 PM

Re: American With Russian Fiancé - Scheduled For K1 Interview In Warsaw, BUT.... by Trenchcoat
Today at 12:51:13 PM

Re: What to do by Trenchcoat
Today at 12:33:48 PM

Re: If you don't know what you are talking about, post away anyway by Trenchcoat
Today at 12:24:44 PM

Re: American With Russian Fiancé - Scheduled For K1 Interview In Warsaw, BUT.... by krimster2
Today at 11:16:08 AM

Powered by EzPortal