Living w/RW one year- my top 10 list good and bad

[carlcalif]

PREFACE: my RW came from Siberia, here now on student visa, we have been living together for one year, we saw each other 6 times in europe and russia for about 2 weeks each time for the year before she came to the usa, I have had 10+ RW girlfriends over the last 5 years and had started visiting Russia since 1998 going once a year. My current RW is 30 and I am 50.
Top 10 List
10. She is a good friend and partner
9. She is very sexy, great dresser, very feminine, about an 8 on a the beauty scale
8. Speaks good english and understands the nuance and humor, though accent thick
7. She is very patient while I am moody
6. She cooks and likes the domestic, but adapts easily to the fun, travel, nightlife
5. Her accent though cute at first is starting to grate on me
4. I am sick of smoked fish, perogi, stuffed peppers, borscht
3. Her consistant attention to makeup, skin care, dressing, shoes is making me tire
2. She likes/loves me more than I like/love her
1. I hear the "call of the wild"; want more and different even american.

[KenC]

Carl.
Welcome to RWD.  Where are you located in CA?  We are located in San Diego and have similar stats as your's.  I'm a little older and my wife is a little younger, but we are fast approaching our 7th wedding anniversary.  I read your list and chuckle.  Most of it is just the ups & downs of being in a committed relationship.  If you need to talk, I'm here.  PM me if you want to.
KenC

[Maxx2]

Yes Carl, welcome to RWD.

Maxx

[Sohkay]

Hearing the "call of the wild", and acting on it are two different things. Commitment and self-control have their own built-in rewards.

Love is not static, it's dynamic. Like the ocean, high tide, low tide, waves, calm, etc. There are times when one loves more than the other, and then it changes.

We live in an era with a couple of consecutively narcissistic generations, so things like an occasionally grating voice, or less than completely 50/50 love is grounds for divorce.

These were my thoughts when I read your post.

Good luck.

[Bruce]

Sounds like the problem is more with you than her. 

#7 - Why are you so moody?

#5 - Accent is just her unique way of speaking English.  You should be happy she is fluent.  Look into yourself on why her accent is starting to grate on you.

#4 - If you are bored with Russian foods, then just have her watch the cooking channel and have her cook American type foods or any other foods in the world.  Get her a cookbook for other recipes.  This is easily remedied.

#3 - If she did not pay constant attention to her personal looks as well as her clothing / makeup etc. she would not be the "8" or so I assume you like so much.  In other words, be happy she takes pride in her appearance.  If she was a "5" would you have been so into her to start with?

#1 - Communicate with your girlfriend.  If you can not iron out what is best for your relationship, and can not figure out how to revitalize your relationship then you will soon cheat on your partner, will be found out and your relationship will crumble.  Hang in there and work things out.  Things will get better.

Over all to me it sounds like you do not appreciate what you have and you better look long hard and deep into yourself.  Perhaps a good counselor will help you set your priorities straight.  Best of luck.

[Son of Clyde]

I am approaching 10 months so when I have some time I will add a few of my own experiences.

You have to realize that RW are women so maybe some of the experiences are similar to what would happen with AW only more intensified.

[Son of Clyde]

Things i love about her:
1 she cooks only what I will eat
2 she is attentive, considerate and helpful
3 she has a cute accent and I will always love it
4 she gave up everything to be with me
5 she loves flowers and has set up a beautiful garden in our front yard
Things I don't love so much but can live with
6 she loves to shop
7 she is stubborn at times, like most of us can be
8 she does not always believe what I tell her about how to do things in the US see my sending a parcel thread
9 she hates our doctors
10 she does not ever relax, always on the move

[PeeWee]

Things i love about her:
1 she cooks only what I will eat
2 she is attentive, considerate and helpful
3 she has a cute accent and I will always love it
4 she gave up everything to be with me
5 she loves flowers and has set up a beautiful garden in our front yard
Things I don't love so much but can live with
6 she loves to shop
7 she is stubborn at times, like most of us can be
8 she does not always believe what I tell her about how to do things in the US see my sending a parcel thread
9 she hates our doctors
10 she does not ever relax, always on the move

Clyde the Glyde, 6: we talked about shopping and RW on the phone. It is a national pasttime for all E E women to shop. They invented the "shop till you drop" mantra. It was AW that noticed it and liked the idea so they adopted too, but no with as much vigor as their E E counterparts did.

7: nothing wrong with being stubborn. If you don't stand for something you will fall for anything.
8: Again, what RW ever believes what one person has told them when asked either advice or  opinion. RW also invented the concept of getting a second opinion and then carried that notion to the third degree and beyond. I expect this reaction aways to any thing I say.
10: We talked about this too. Again, I like this trait and it is a trait. I have never seen a group of people that will try to jamb more activites into one day. So much so that they have lost time for hobbies, in some cases. I have also never seen such a group of power sleepers as I have with RW. Balls to the wall all day long and then with it comes time to hit the rack a 12 hour power sleep spell comes over them. I have seen it many times.

Peewee

[carlcalif]

Thank you Son of C, Ken, Bruce, Sohkay and Maxx for tremendous insights- all of you hit the bullseye as if you had actually known me for years. It really is me and not her, seems I've "lost that lovin feeling" though I appreciate and really care for her. So I will be optimistic and take it as a phase and work through it for now. Son of C- liked your top 10!

[carlcalif]

Ken, I live in newport and come to san diego quite often.

[Jumper]

Hey Carl ,
having been marred a couple of years , my list might mimck yours fairly closely, but with some key differences and completely different conclusion..

Top 10 List
10. She is a good friend and partner

absolutely.The very best. shes a blast to be with , and a wonderful person to go thru life with.

9. She is very sexy, great dresser, very feminine, about an 8 on a the beauty scale


well she is Russian afterall,so most of that seems to be  ingrained..
but on the numbers thing , i'm not into numbering systems.LOL
To me she always looks just fantastic! ALWAYS,
and likely always will!

8. Speaks good english and understands the nuance and humor, though accent thick


Certainly has an accent ,but it isnt thick by any means

7. She is very patient while I am moody

nope! I am patient, while she is impatient,,can be moody,but seldom is

6. She cooks and likes the domestic, but adapts easily to the fun, travel, nightlife

ditto.

5. Her accent though cute at first , is starting to grate on me

I still find it interesting, (sometimes fun , or even amusing in some circumstances ) and hope she never ever loses it

4. I am sick of smoked fish, perogi, stuffed peppers, borscht

I love pretty much all her dishes, (andshe likes my cooking also)
but i dispise smoked fish LOL
but it doesnt matter!
 as i dont plan to eat any, she is welcome to eat all the smoked fish she wants, and laugh at my disdain for such a delicacy
same goes for kvass
3. Her consistant attention to makeup, skin care, dressing, shoes is making me tire

Hmmm, it's part of what makes her very feminine, and is a big part of who she is..
Its what she is "into" , it's her *thing*
I have my own *things* as well, and she has little interest in them!
we dont have to like exactly the same things,,

 if i really wanted that, then  i would marry one of my buddies !!
they dig hot women, bikes etc etc  ..LOL

2. She likes/loves me more than I like/love her

no, its equal, but sometimes she amazes me at just how deep her feelings  can be.

Seems you just have a 7 year itch, at an early stage, or just dont want to be in a committed relationship at this point in your life,.
hey not everyone WANTS those things.. and completely understandable..
Also  you arnt married.
*shrugs*

1. I hear the "call of the wild"; want more and different , even american.


In my case ,I  review my list and wonder why I would ever hear any call of anything..
I wouldnt want different, or more.
Why on earth would i ?  


Mostly it just sounds like you're bored with her..
 I wish you luck, but it seems it will depend more on what you really want in your life right now, and in the future..
it's not a good or bad type of thing, just a personal decision of where you want to be, and who you'd like your future to be with , if anyone at all..
afterall being single is fun as well!
Commited relationships are compromise,and take  a concious decision to truly want that lifestyle.
 

[al-c]

My two cents, interspersed with your list:

PREFACE: my RW came from Siberia, here now on student visa, we have been living together for one year, we saw each other 6 times in europe and russia for about 2 weeks each time for the year before she came to the usa, I have had 10+ RW girlfriends over the last 5 years and had started visiting Russia since 1998 going once a year. My current RW is 30 and I am 50.
Top 10 List
10. She is a good friend and partner
________________________________________________
Wonderful and exactly what we are looking to Russia for.  I have yet to be able to say that about even one AW from my past.
_________________________________________________

9. She is very sexy, great dresser, very feminine, about an 8 on a the beauty scale
_________________________________________________
As compared to my last AW, who was a fat pig and who drank booze until it poured out of her ears.
_________________________________________________

8. Speaks good english and understands the nuance and humor, though accent thick
_________________________________________________
That is something to treasure.  I have been willing to settle for enough English to understand simple sentences and often had to settle for less. Get used to the accent though, because it is not going anywhere.
_________________________________________________

7. She is very patient while I am moody
_________________________________________________
Another fine quality for you to treasure.  I hope my RW can maintain her patience in the epitome of the impatient places, New York
_________________________________________________

6. She cooks and likes the domestic, but adapts easily to the fun, travel, nightlife
_________________________________________________
As I hear and see for myself a characteristic many RW have
__________________________________________________

5. Her accent though cute at first is starting to grate on me
__________________________________________________
What about your accent?  What accent, you ask?  I don't think I have an accent either until people on the other side of the world figure out I am from New York the second I open my mouth.
_________________________________________________

4. I am sick of smoked fish, perogi, stuffed peppers, borscht
__________________________________________________
Suggestion:  Cook American food for her sometimes.  You can still cook, or how did you eat when you were single?
__________________________________________________

3. Her consistant attention to makeup, skin care, dressing, shoes is making me tire
__________________________________________________
Would you prefer sweat pants and no makeup like the AW we all turned away from?
_________________________________________________

2. She likes/loves me more than I like/love her
_________________________________________________
That's fine as long as you stay true to your marriage.  Nobody has a 100% interest level.  Just try to keep it above 50%
_________________________________________________

1. I hear the "call of the wild"; want more and different even american.
_________________________________________________
There is nothing wrong with seeing beauty and sexuality and allure in other women; after all we are all carnal beings.  But seeing and acting on it are two different things.  You stood at the altar and vowed to forsake all others; now you need to maintain that vow.

Good luck to you, and I hope your marriage truly is "till death do us part"
_________________________________________________

[Jumper]

al-c
 
I dont think Carl is married..he is refering to a live-in girlfriend i believe
*shrugs*

Sorry to hear your bouts with AW..
i've heard the tales often.

Despite my wife being Ukranian,
I guess i was always just lucky, as my past g/fs
were fun, intelligent,very sexy , wonderful women that happened to be American!!!
(well admittedly a few other nationalities also , as i lived out of the US as much as in it )

[Shadow]

I will not make a top 10 list, but so far I am very happy with my fiancee.

Just some remark about shopping:
The other day we went to look for some things. She tried about 10 pairs of shoes to find one that she liked and was available in her size. Next is was my turn. I went to the display, took a shoe out and had the perfect fit right away.
She could not understand how I managed this 

I am long time used to go shopping with women, and I do not mind. As for her, she is not a shopping fan at all, but slowly gets to like it. Damn.... I am teaching a monkey to climb.

[catzenmouse]

I am long time used to go shopping with women, and I do not mind. As for her, she is not a shopping fan at all, but slowly gets to like it. Damn.... I am teaching a monkey to climb.

Careful Shadow... soon she'll grab you by the collar and drag you through every tree in the forest! 

 Have to say I am pretty lucky in that also. Elena is not a big fan of spending hours at the mall (or whatever) and actually makes most of her own clothes which are better that anything we could buy anyway. Quite a talented lady!

Ken

[jb]

I don't think Carl has too much to worry about.  If his Russian live-in g/f has the looks and the qualities he talks about, and she's here on a student visa, then she is daily exposed to hordes of AM who would happily take her off his hands if he has grown tired of her.

[Son of Clyde]

Carl,
Can you post a picture of you and her?
Then we can tell you how crazy you might be for getting tired of her so soon.
 

[PeeWee]

Careful Shadow... soon she'll grab you by the collar and drag you through every tree in the forest! 

 Have to say I am pretty lucky in that also. Elena is not a big fan of spending hours at the mall (or whatever) and actually makes most of her own clothes which are better that anything we could buy anyway. Quite a talented lady!

Ken

I wonder what the ratio is of AW that know how to sew and FSU women that know how to sew is? Every RW that I have talked to knows how to sew. I seldom have talked to an AW that knows how to sew well enough to make her own clothes.

Peewee

[Son of Clyde]

PeeWee,
If an AW can sew she probably likes to listen to John Denver records on her 8 track player while she is quilting.
I am joking because I know a woman, about 50 years of age. A typical example of a 70's type woman who loves to sew and cook and she is completely obedient to her husband because the church wants it that way.

[jb]

SofC said:

Carl,
Can you post a picture of you and her?

Yessir, post a pic, it just might be there's someone here who is in your area and looking for a nice looking, loving, domestic, family orientated, RW, that is, if "the call of the wild" urge is in you so strong and you just feel the need for a new pair of tits.

Don't expect a lot of sympathy from those of us who have struggled so long and hard to find a great woman. Seems like you have a great woman on your hands, I wouldn't so easily toss her away.

[wiz]

 Have to say I am pretty lucky in that also. Elena is not a big fan of spending hours at the mall (or whatever) and actually makes most of her own clothes which are better that anything we could buy anyway. Quite a talented lady!

Ken

As far as I know they still teach RW and Urainian women at school home economics and also how to make their own clothes.

Have you noticed how smart and differently dressed each woman looks over there?

With the kind of money they earning they can't afford to buy new clothes every week but of course they make their own! And they are looking very fashionable and sexy!

If you go to Kyiv and walk down independent Sq you will be amazed!

Last Christmas in LA I hardly saw any smart dressed woman!

[Freebird]

Oh my gosh!  It just dawned on me that wiz and I are looking in the same demographic.  Same country.  Same city.  Maybe I'll see his picture in one of my date's apartment??   Naawwww.  LOL

[wiz]

Freebird

Not a chance to catch up with me!.....LOL

Anyway there is so much out there so we may meet one day at the internet cafe at the post office...LOL

[Freebird]

Actually, wiz, I was at the post office internet cafe in Kiev in early January.  I'm sitting in the Denver airport right now, on my way back.

[Killer-B]

5. Her accent though cute at first is starting to grate on me

I'm not married (yet) to a RW - but this comment (#5) was very telling to me -

My ex wife was from Canada/Boston and had a "terrible" accent - Your typical "ooout" and "eh" kind of stuff - Combined then with 10 years of "Bostonian" (there is no "R" in "Idea" - Idea"R" - Grrrr!)

Anyway, when we hit some rough patches, her "accent" REALLY started to grate on my nerves too - But in hindsite, it wasn't her dialect - It was the "woman behind the words" that was truly grating on me - So much so, when I was in NZ and Australia, of course their accents are "unique" - but if you listen closely (for a couple of years) it has an East coast American ring to it - and I'd just cringe... For while it really wasn't "bad English" - it just brought back very bad memories of my ex AW/CW/BW Ugh!

As to "your lady" - She sounds and looks good "on paper" - but you're the one that has to live with her - not us - And also sounds like you've gotten the itch to go out and "do better" - Given her age and like someone else mentioned up-thread; if she is a student, and has "access" to other guys - and you're so unhappy - You may wanna do her the favor of setting her free... Just my .02 cents -

Good luck either way!