Some Background….
I previously visited Russia a couple of times in Oct/2008 and Jan/2009. It was enough to convince me of the overall impracticality of my undertaking the search for an FSU wife.
In particular, I think the demographics of the FSU suggest that this might be a much more reasonable search for those a little older than I am (42), and perhaps a little more conventional in lifestyle and personality.
Often people say “this is not for everyone”, and I think this is a highly misleading statement.
In point of fact I think most people acknowledge that the success rate (marriage) for those who begin this process is much less than 1%. When one considers the total time and money spent by the full 100% of those who begin this search, it would appear that seeking FSU partner must surely be one of the most unrealistic, expensive and improbable ways to search for partner.
At the time of my original trips, I posted in good faith here on the board and was very disappointed at the mean spirited tone of some of the responding posts from a few of the board regulars. While there are many here who have a great deal to offer, there are also many who use this board as a sounding board for their own ego. (predominantly found amongst those 1000+ posts)
Human nature is that we always think we deserve whatever good fortune has come our way, and perhaps a little bit more as well. As such I think that many men who are in a successful relationship with a FSU women think they fully deserve and have earned their good fortune in being one of the lucky 1%. I respectfully suggest that there may be a little bit of good luck involved as well (even a blind chipmunk finds an acorn once in a while!). And by extension, simply because a man is in a relationship with a FSU woman, this does not necessarily qualify him as an expert on the subject
It is sort of like someone who was born rich (or won the lottery) giving investment advice…
Having duly qualified my upcoming report, I offer the following in the interests of helping those who might find it useful. I regret that prior experiences have led me to post this in the “no reply section”.
March 2009-Kiev
My experience with the website of Elena’s Models was an exercise in complete frustration. I’ve heard anecdotaly that men outnumber women 2(or3)-to-1. Add in the keyboard romeos and those who are dishonest and it becomes even more impractical. However my membership as still running and I began to chat with a Kiev girl “O”. Her mother was married to an American man, she spoke fluent English, had lived abroad for several years before her visa ran out, and she had no family ties to keep her in the Ukraine.
I was visiting Germany for a conference and decided to visit her in Kiev. We had a nice couple of days, but from the start we didn’t really have any chemistry and after a frank discussion on the third and final day we agreed to leave it as friends.
For me, that was the end of my active search for a FSU wife, and I happily turned my attention to my life at home.
November 2009-Dominican
A college friend has been living in Moscow for the last several years where he works as an engineer. We met up during his September visit home to renew his work visa, and he was waxing lyrical about FSU women and encouraged me to expand my profile on Mamba. I was considering vacation options, and he advised that even if I wasn’t looking for a partner, he pointed out that there was a “fellow travelers” section for those interested in vacation partners.
I fired off 30-odd messages and received 2 replies, one of who was very bright, fluent in English and quite lovely. After a short while I boldly proposed a Dominican trip (remember we had never met each other!) to celebrate my birthday and she agreed with equal boldness. We both knew we had no serious longterm interest in each other – it was just to be a fun trip.
We subsequently had a nice trip week long trip in November (I paid for everything of course). Although she had no interest in leaving the Ukraine, she invited me to spend the Christmas holidays with her in Kiev and I accepted.
December 2009-Kiev
I arranged a business trip to London, and a personal ticket to fly on to Kiev to visit her for 11 days at the end of December. Unfortunately, two weeks before my visit we had a big argument after I put my foot down in response to her increasingly extravagant plans for our 11 days together. And that was the end of that, as she indignantly told me to never call her again…lol…I guess I wasn’t as rich as she thought…such is life, and I had no expectations for anything longer term anyway.
Since my Kiev plane ticket was non-refundable I changed the dates down from eleven days to only a four day visit. I emailed “O” from my March 2009 visit, and we subsequently had a lovely (yet fully platonic) Christmas together seeing each other every day during my 4 day visit. Once again, we knew we had no romantic interest in each other, but I think we were both simply happy for the company during the holidays. ( a side note, I've stayed in touch with "O" and she recently told me she's had some good fortune with an American fellow currently living in Europe.)
I also sent around a few messages on Mamba to see if I might be able to salvage my situation while in Kiev, although I had fairly low expectations. One of the girls I contacted was “K”. We subsequently met for a brief dinner, and the very moment we met it was as if lightening struck.
Our dinner was brief because “K” had to go to work that night. I offered to pay for a taxi for her, as the weather was poor, and she accepted and telephoned to book a pickup. I then asked her to call me a taxi as well. She took out her phone and began what seemed liked an interminably long and animated discussion in Russian (I was thoroughly confused about what she could possibly be talking about!).
She finally finished the call, turned to me and said “61 hryvnia – they will drop me off first, and then you”.
Lol…unbelieveable…she had not only combined our two taxi trips into one, but she had also negotiated the price to within 12 cents (1 hryvnia).
I said to her”‘No…60 hryvnia!” (making a joke, of course).
But she simply nodded and took out her phone and began to call back the taxi company. I had to stop her and explain I was joking! Hilarious.
Anyway, she was heading out of town the next night and was busy all the next day with rehearsals for a show that night (she’s a professional dancer). I saw the show, and it was excellent and she is a fine performer.
Feb/March 2010-Kiev
We kept in touch afterwards, and have subsequently exchanged more than 500 emails in the past 4 months. Since then I’ve been to see her twice in Kiev. My 5 day visit in February ended with our first kiss (chastely on her cheek). My next visit (3 days) in March began with a virtual interrogation my first night as she questioned my motives, history with FSU women, why I’m not married,etc etc. I answered her questions truthfully, warts and all.
April 2010-Dominican
"K" has two best friends, one of whom recently spend a week in the Dominican with an American fellow (a Ukrainian born dentist), and the other (her roommate) who had just left for several weeks in Venezuala with her Russian boyfriend (a nice fellow who I had met during our Feb visit). I knew "K" was feeling left out, and so after I arrived back home after our March visit I surprised her with an offer to go to the Dominican.
“K” was nervous about traveling on her own from Kiev (I was flying separately from home), and I had a second copy of one of my credit cards made in her name and sent it to her to be used for emergencies. (I also gave her a PIN for the card, so she could use it for cash advances and told her to cash advance some travel money as well). She’s had the card now for two months, and never uses it without my knowledge. When she arrived in the Dominican, the first thing she did was try to give me the card back (I told her to keep it of course)
Her Demographics?
People are complicated, and I think any personal quality which can be measured by a number is pretty superficial and vacuous way to define a person (ie weight, age, income, height, etc). Having said that, here are the details on "K"...
She’s 30, a professional dancer and avid yoga practioner, never married, no kids, and lives with a girlfriend in a $300/month spartan Soviet style one bedroom (the girlfriend gets the bedroom, and “K” uses the kitchen as her bedroom). She speaks english passibly, but needs improvement (I gave her a bootlegged $60 copy of the Rosetta stone software to help her learn)
Next up we’re endeavoring to arrange a Schengen visa in conjunction with a travel agency booked trip to the Czech Republic (I’d heard that was the easiest country for Ukrainian single girls without a lot of financial/assets credibility). I've explained to "K" all of the government details about visas/immigration/etc, and I've provided her fair and accurate details about my life and lifestyle. (in particular, that I'm not an oligarch,and that I budget my money just like everyone else)
Thus far things are looking good between us, and I'm optimistic (but we'll see how it all turns out)
Closing Advice
In closing I’ll offer the following advice to any newbies who read this…
The easy/peasy FSU bride process is a complete myth.
Most FSU women have no absolutely no interest in leaving their country, and many of those who had such an interest have now already left.
FSU women are just as worried about being scammed by western men as we are worried about being scammed by them
Most agencies are there to make money first, second and third, and to match make last.
If you want to explore this further, best thing is to visit the FSU first. Don’t waste your time and effort living in fantasy land, or trolling boards like this.
Accept any advice given to you on a discussion board like this with a healthy amount of skepticism (especially mine!!)
Trust yourself, and follow your instincts.
Kind regards to those who took the time to read this post, and thanks to those who take the time to post sincere and useful advice on this board.
