The End

[Davo2]

Had to look up the word 'swag'.  LOL.

Being originally a country boy, I've spent plenty of nights in my swag. I bought a new double swag for the occasion and like you she had no idea what I was talking about until I showed her.  She liked the idea of getting close and cosy together under the stars, despite my warnings of bunyips, drop bears and yowies that stalk tourists in the bush 

[ML]

Maybe I'm lucky to find someone first time that doesn't exhibit any red flags that are common issues in many posts, but it proves that they are out there, you just need to keep looking and don't settle for anything less than your perfect  match.

Saying that the real test is when we finally meet, which keeps getting postponed due to both of our work commitments.

Davo, I was reading this and thinking you had found a great gal.
But then I got to the end and found out you are still just dreaming because you still haven't even met her, let alone spending extended time together.

You actually know NOTHING about this gal.

[krimster2]

I know a redneck who married a Russian woman, and after getting a K1 visa he brought her to his house in Alabama.  When they arrived at his house in the country, which was nothing more than a shack with two chickens pecking at the garbage in the front yard, her eyes grew wide, and she shouted out in heavily accented English, “TWO CHICKENS!!!  I KNOW YOU SAID YOU WERE RICH, BUT NOT THIS RICH!!!!!

this is the kinda’ gal ‘ya want buckaroo!!!

a Ukrainian village deavocka who ain’t been off the farm yet...

super good muscle tone, they walk multi kms each and every day
full spectrum - nordic blondes to husky browns
for some reason I notice a a lot of Ukrainian village girls have large “cup" sizes, “DD" being very common
they will cook and clean from dawn to dusk and do it all over again the next day
get the book “She Comes First”, do it and you will totally own this farm girl and she will perform for you whatever you wish...

WORD!

I’m here to help you poor buggers...


 

[2tallbill]

I must be missing all the good points about her character which make her a great catch.

She's hot. Some guys will put up with anything to wake
up next to a hottie.

There are a million girls in the FSU who are just as hot.
Once you are willing to dump a hot woman who isn't the
future Mrs_____________ (your name here) is the day
that can begin to find a hottie who will treat you right.

[2tallbill]

What are the odds that were he to fish again in the FSU for a woman he might find one that is less demanding on the material front and less ridged with how she sees the relationship developing?

You want to go to a 5 star hotel? Me too what's your credit card number?

No is really easy to say if you have a spine. If you don't have
a spine then you should stay out of the FSU. FSUW want and
need a man with a spine.

[Sting23]

Being originally a country boy, I've spent plenty of nights in my swag. I bought a new double swag for the occasion and like you she had no idea what I was talking about until I showed her.  She liked the idea of getting close and cosy together under the stars, despite my warnings of bunyips, drop bears and yowies that stalk tourists in the bush 

Swag has a totally different meaning in America lol...

[Sting23]

You want to go to a 5 star hotel? Me too what's your credit card number?

No is really easy to say if you have a spine. If you don't have
a spine then you should stay out of the FSU. FSUW want and
need a man with a spine.

what's that quote, "Give them an inch they'll take a mile"....the girl the OP was with seemed to never be satisfied with what she was given.

[2tallbill]

bjorncode12,
please don’t take my comments in a negative way, but you should understand that Russian women are not gentle creatures, they are savage and beautiful ...

if you can handle it...

+ 100

however, if you have any emotional vulnerability, a Russian woman will spot it immediately and if she needs to will hammer it to pieces until it(you!) breaks...

I agree but it's not because she wants to hurt you.
It's because she needs to know if the going gets tough
that you won't be running around blubbering like a little girl.

She wants to "know" that you are going to be able to handle,
manage and overcome whatever crap comes down the road.
 

but you are the driver, so act like it!!!

Exactly




Pursuing FSUW101
http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=14615.0

Ten Commandments
http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=1740.0

[2tallbill]

That would be a stupid thing to do.

He did already try 'once more.'

The next time he tries, she will be even more convinced that she can lead him around like an animal with a ring in his nose.

Trying twice is enough for any couple.  Three tries is absurd.

By all means recycle cans and bottles and things like that
but DON'T Recycle girls!

[2tallbill]

Elena still occupies space in his head and therefore, in his life.
That’s unfair to the woman he is currently with, if the relationship
is serious.

He needs to dump the rebound girl since she has no future with the OP.
If he can think of the old girl with the new girl in his arms then she isn't
the one.

He needs to stop dating girls who aren't the one and never make
a second date with ANY girl who isn't the future Mrs Code. Why
is he still dating rebound girl? He is keeping both of them from
finding their future loves.

Rather than waste both of their times he should be trying to find
the future Mrs Code.

[Boethius]

The OP is pushing 60, so I don't think he needs our help with his dating life.


This will be anathema to many here, but I disagree that FSUW are somehow more "complicated" than women elsewhere, or that they have to be "handled" differently.  I think that mostly comes down to cultural differences.  The same archetypes exist in all societies.

[Trenchcoat]

This will be anathema to many here, but I disagree that FSUW are somehow more "complicated" than women elsewhere, or that they have to be "handled" differently.  I think that mostly comes down to cultural differences.  The same archetypes exist in all societies.

I think there is something in this. I think many FSW are viewed as complicated or difficult but in reality may often be cultural differences. I think a lot of the time if it's not an actual real difference that need a explaining in order to understand or its a case of both sides not realising that they both have the same problem/fears and are fighting each other over the same hang ups, lol.

I think those are two of three biggest hurdles that come up in FSU dating. The third is that the guy makes mistakes in handling the woman in the right way. I think some FSW will always be decent but there will be some with character flaws where if handled incorrectly it will scupper the relationship fast. Trying to entice a woman with material goods/services to a woman that is materialistic etc is probably the biggest one here and I think one to be smart on avoiding.

[Trenchcoat]

what's that quote, "Give them an inch they'll take a mile"....the girl the OP was with seemed to never be satisfied with what she was given.

On this I actually agree with you, giving a FSW an inch to start with whether to be kind or get in her go is books or whatever is a big mistake, never give her that inch to start with is the only answer.

All the stuff Bill has said is all good too, so true.

[Trenchcoat]

I know a redneck who married a Russian woman, and after getting a K1 visa he brought her to his house in Alabama.  When they arrived at his house in the country, which was nothing more than a shack with two chickens pecking at the garbage in the front yard, her eyes grew wide, and she shouted out in heavily accented English, “TWO CHICKENS!!!  I KNOW YOU SAID YOU WERE RICH, BUT NOT THIS RICH!!!!!

this is the kinda’ gal ‘ya want buckaroo!!!

a Ukrainian village deavocka who ain’t been off the farm yet...

super good muscle tone, they walk multi kms each and every day
full spectrum - nordic blondes to husky browns
for some reason I notice a a lot of Ukrainian village girls have large “cup" sizes, “DD" being very common
they will cook and clean from dawn to dusk and do it all over again the next day
get the book “She Comes First”, do it and you will totally own this farm girl and she will perform for you whatever you wish...

WORD!

I’m here to help you poor buggers...

Thanks Krimster, well I'm hoping you're right on this stuff, it all sounds good to me Maybe I'll try and look up some country girls when I'm out Lviv direction in a couple of months. Thanks for sharing.

[krimster2]

I don't know your age ranges, but lviv and Ternopil are both big college towns
years ago when I lived in Ukraine you could buy an apartment in Lviv for $40,000 and spend about $20,000 in repairs and you would have an amazing apartment!
these apartment buildings had very high ceilings and were built in the Austro-Hungarian period.
Using this as a forward base of operations will allow you to mount visa-free campaigns for up to 6 months in length in Ukraine.
you can have a total seduction pad and pretty much do whatever you want with however many you want...

Man, why aren't you single guys doing this?

[Davo2]

Davo, I was reading this and thinking you had found a great gal.
But then I got to the end and found out you are still just dreaming because you still haven't even met her, let alone spending extended time together.

You actually know NOTHING about this gal.

I'm not a fool, I lived with a woman for 20 years and didn't really know her.

I can only take her on face value, like she does me. It's easy to present a persona that's not you, but  she's done her best to involve me with everything she has done in her life  over the past year. I've received a picture, video, live skype, explanation etc... every 30 minutes of her waking day, everything from exciting events to the most mundane.

I partially disagree, I probably know more than any her than  other woman on the planet. I've talked to this woman more than I did with my ex in 20 years. I know every little detail of her life from a baby to mid life and her family going back many generations. I don't even have to ask and I know exactly where she is or what she's doing at any given time.....

But you're right ML it takes more than an online relationship to actually know someone and at the risk of offending some people here, it takes far more than a week, a month or 6 months of actual time together to really know each other.

Although I would have liked to meet her sooner, but I'm far more comfortable with what's occurred than rushing over for several short trips, proposing to a virtual stranger and hoping for the best. It seems a little insane to me. If another guy jumps the cue good luck to him, he'll need it to base  a marriage on a handful  of short trips.  If you proposed to a local woman after only knowing or spending a month or so together, your friends and family would have serious  questions about your sanity, especially for those who have already been divorced due to bad choices in  partners.

We may have no connection at all and I'm fully prepared for that. This is the biggest decision any one makes in their life and I'm certainly not going to proceed if I have the slightest concern about her.

As I said before, I'm only traveling this path due the connection we felt after 6 of supporting each other to connect our children with their estranged parents. There was no reason to embellish the truth. In the first few days we discussed topics that I would never touch on with a romantic interest, I'm trying to attract and possibly would never tell a future wife, she did the same. A relationship was never the main priority, we were just two friends experiencing the same situation and still are just friends with a bit of flirting  ...

[krimster2]

look, let me lay it all out for you brothers!

if you search for an object in the sexual marketplace, then you yourself become an object in the sexual marketplace...

each object has a value, in Ukraine your value is going to much higher than in your own country

looking for love in Ukraine would be like looking for love in your own country...
if you were 10 million dollars richer and 10 years younger!

what more do you need to know, I mean besides the truth/beauty thing?

a wise man will listen and understand, a foolish man will listen and not understand...
 

[Boethius]

I think some FSW will always be decent but there will be some with character flaws where if handled incorrectly it will scupper the relationship fast.

You shouldn't have to "handle" a person.  Accept them for who they are.  If you can't deal with their character flaws, which we all have, move on to the next person.

[krimster2]

"You shouldn't have to "handle" a person"

what if they happen to like being "handled"?

[krimster2]

brat!

if you ever find yourself taking a Ukrainian village girl to the beach, pay attention to small details.  for example, in Ukraine a lot of women are so poor they can’t really afford to buy clothing, so they have a lot of “hand-me-downs” from parents or grandparents from the Soviet period, bathing suits are typical of this, they will be badly worn in places and with a few small holes here and there, a lot of buxom farm girls will have ill-fitting tops which creates a lot of “side-boobage”, be a gentleman and go to a more isolated part of the beach, and encourage her to remove her top, “that it’s OK for her to feel free” and most of the time they’ll remove their top...



after an early appraisal if you feel like she's going to be worth the investment, check your local airport for schedules to Istanbul, if she has a travel passport, you just need your passports to go there, visas for you both you get after you de-plane.  take her to a 5 star hotel ($120/night) and take her shopping for clothes and shoes ($4,000) at one of the new American style mega malls, where you can help her try on a new bathing suit in the dressing room, and eat at 5 star restaurants ($200/day)

she...will...be...putty...in...your...hands...
for you to mold into whatever shape you want...

[Davo2]

"The capacity to be alone is the capacity to love. It may look paradoxical to you, but it's not. It is an existential truth: only those people who are capable of being alone are capable of love, of sharing, of going into the deepest core of another person, without possessing the other, without becoming dependent on the other, without reducing the other to a thing, and without becoming addicted to the other. They allow the other absolute freedom, because they know that if the other leaves, they will be as happy as they are now. Their happiness cannot be taken by the other, because it is not given by the other.

Osho"

A counsellor made me read this quote 3 years ago when I was struggling with the events surrounding my  divorcé and how to move on to new relationships. It's the best relationship advice I've been given.

 

[BillyB]

"The capacity to be alone is the capacity to love. It may look paradoxical to you, but it's not. It is an existential truth: only those people who are capable of being alone are capable of love, of sharing, of going into the deepest core of another person, without possessing the other, without becoming dependent on the other, without reducing the other to a thing, and without becoming addicted to the other. They allow the other absolute freedom, because they know that if the other leaves, they will be as happy as they are now. Their happiness cannot be taken by the other, because it is not given by the other.

Osho"

I've always said my wife is free to come or go and some people think I don't love my wife.

[Davo2]

I've always said my wife is free to come or go and some people think I don't love my wife.

I thought about that quote only because I got stuck into ML recently about his situation. Probably due to a bit of jealously as I've followed his posts for along time and he successfully pulled off what we are all trying to  achieve, but maybe he's right, a relationship should enhance every part of your life for both people. Once that suffers you either try to fix it or walk away  happy. Holding onto something that isn't working or was wrong from the start because you're scared to be alone is living a lie.... I did that for 20 years.

You probably love your wife more than most as you don't treat her as a possession, but someone with her own free will. You never own anyone, they stay because they want to.
 
I hope that quote helps the op also

[msmob]

You can tell when they are happy, sad..the whole gamut.  Asians in general are probably much more reserved as a culture than Russians.

Hmm, you seem rather fond of sweeping generalisations )

MY experience is the opposite..having shared my life with FSU ladies for longer than you have  been of adult age.

The OP told us a few posts ago 'that that was it' and much of the 'advice ' he has been getting has been from guys who haven't shared their lives with a FSU...

It is clear the OP hasn't got over 'Elena' and only he can close the lid and stop comparing her.

[CaptB]

The issue of a monthly "stipend". I went to Tver, Russia in 1999. I used an agency called Lifetime Partners. I met about a dozen and a half RW.......but was bowled over by "I".
"I" was beautiful, smart, funny......with lots of interests. She was great company and lots of fun. We liked each other. But the chemistry required to become a couple......is another thing. At the end of my 3 week visit I was approached by my interpreter suggesting that it was customary to provide a monthly "stipend" (allowance) to your RW.
It was agreed that $300 per month would be an appropriate amount. Flash forward five months to my second visit........and I began to learn things about Russian economics....at the "individual" level. The average RW made about (above board) $80 - $110 per month in Tver in 1999. You could purchase an (1950's constructed) apartment for $10,000 - $12,000. The apartment I rented .....which was totally gutted and renovated (beautiful job).....where many city officials lived....could be had for about $18,000. These are US dollars.


"I" and I eventually parted ways. Future RW's I met.....I did not give money to. Do you hand over an allowance to someone you are dating......back home? Of course not. I was not trying to rescue a poor little RW.......by handing out money. My wife had a good job. She was financially stable. She heard from some of her girl friends that many foreign guys were free and easy with their money....lots of gifts......trips etc. My wife said she would have been horrified if I started sending her cash. She said she would have thought that I did not believe her life-style was good enough. In Tver I was caught off-guard. My instincts said their tradition of a monthly stipend......just did not feel right.
Of caused I brought .....and bought modest gifts. But my wife bought us bus tickets to visit friends for a few days......and refused to let me re-imburse her.


Let me ask you......what did these poor little RW do........before Prince Charming.....with a bag of money came along. Many of the women I met had decent jobs, went on occaisional trips, paid their bills......hung-out with friends and relatives.....and had a pretty good life. As soon and I took money out of the equation......that left only a few gals who were looking for what I.......was looking for. Money would eventually take care of itself.


Capt B