Would you recommend your best friend search for a RW?

[Turboguy]

Let me clarify my statement.   Nina looked very ugly in the first photo I saw of her.  She had her hair in one of the old style russian buns and no make up, no smile, and really looked bad.   The second photo I got she was a knockout.   She hat a short yellow dress and curly blond hair, make up and a nice smile and was an 8 on the famous scale.  

Nina in person was very pretty.  She was also very talented at using her looks to manipulate.    I had no problems with her looks.   She is someone's mother and sister.  You are right. 

Photo guy.  I think for those who work with interpreters it could be a wise move to not always work with the same one.   Sometimes the interpreters may have their own agenda, sometimes they may try to soffen something. 

 

[GQBlues]

"...Would you recommend your best friend search for a RW?..."

 

That'll wholly depend on the person.

Unfortunately (fortunately), my best friends are happy and content with dating within our dating pools here at home, so recommending to go to FSU for the purpose of dating RWs is not even a consideration.

But if the implied rhetoric to the question was, based on my personal experience, will I see it beneficial for anyone to go to FSU and date/marry a RW, I would have to say 'no'.

If a person cannot secure himself a relationship within the comfort of his home and society, it is suicidal to urge him to seek elsewhere.

If he is someone who is not socially deficient, then recommendation is not, and never will be, necessary. 

However, if it's a person of middle-aged years, financially secured, and aspires to 'wed' a woman much younger than he, and more importantly, can be made aware of the pitfalls and is someone who is not gullible; then FSU is certainly a viable option.

Specifically recommend it - 'NO'. Offer it as an option - 'YES'.

[Maxx]

I would be very leary of private messages from interpreters telling you how much your gal misses you or was aglow with your gifts of flowers, chocolates or letters. These interpreters are usually paid very little money and can make additional income when the ladies pay them under the table for their help.

As far as snap decisions being a good way to judge people. IMO it works in a negative sense. That is sensing danger and feeling that something is wrong. It may have something to do with a genetic 'fight or flight' response wired into us when man was not at the top of the food chain.  To make a snap decision about more minor characters issues that may eventually end a marriage seems to be a lesser reliable way. That is where making that assessment over time makes the most amount of sense. It is like what you hear when someone says "We just could not make it work out".  

Maxx

   

[KenC]

Bruno,

You wrote:

Communication problem, language, translator, phone, meeting ... are only detail

Huh? Not being able to properly communicate is only a "detail"? I ahppen to think that that "detail" is the main building block in establishing any wothwhile relationship.

Turbo wrote:

 The danger of working with an interpreter is you need to be sure who is really talking

Bingo!  Without a common language, I doubt that you could ever be sure.

Photo wrote:

If you meet someone in person, you can size them up pretty quickly.
That is what the latest research tells us.

Research?  I don't think so.  If you wanna make a life altering decision based on your "blink" theory, go ahead and good luck cause your gonna need all the luck you can muster.  And if I remember correctly, your intial reaction to your honey's ambevilant attitude, was one of confusion, without any of the surity that you now display.  (You can remove the thread, but not our memories)

 And three different interpreters have given me the same picture of her. It's in a golden frame and smells like roses.

This is actually a good sign.  Three different interpreters relaying similar messages would indicate that there may be some credibility to it.  I still connot understand people who can fall head over heels with a person with whom they cannot even have a simple conversation.  It just doen't make any sense to me.

KenC

 

[jb]

I couldn't agree more completely, Ken.

This whole "blink" theory may be about the weakests of all the self justifcations I've ever heard.  The notion that one can, in an instant, with someone they cannot hold even the most rudimentary conversation, delve into personality, character, personal traits, etc., and see compatability for a lifetime of bliss is the happiest load of horsesheet I've ever read.

Most of us are the product of at least one failed marriage to a woman with whom we could communicate freely, did we not "blink"?  Were we not enamored when we walked down that path to the altar?  Did any of us think for a second, as we repeated those vows, "maybe that this isn't great, but I can work around the flaws?"  I know I didn't, and I hope no one answers "yes" to those questions.

To believe in such a theory is dysfunctionality at it's peak.

[Bruno]

Communication problem, language, translator, phone, meeting ... are only detail

Huh? Not being able to properly communicate is only a "detail"? I ahppen to think that that "detail" is the main building block in establishing any wothwhile relationship.
 
[/quote]
Ken when i say that language is a detail, it was in relation with the following of the rest of post... same with perfect english language, a russian woman can lie to you and you will never know it of when it is too late... nobody is able to see what think someone...

And i think that a lie is more easy to detect from someone who don't speak perfectly the language that from someone who master it...

In a love relationship, you are never sure about the future... how much people have think that own story was wonderful until the periode of 2 year, when the lovely angel have quit the home...

Trust is needed in love... it is like poker... some can bluff, some lie,... you can think all you wish... but you know the true only at the end, when the card are on table... some are winner, some are looser...

Until now, i have always try to trust my feeling but in so case, i was always a looser... now, i am more mathematical, i don't loose anymore but i don't have already win... to much bad card... i stop enough fast, before the price come to high... is one method better that other, i don't know... maybe a psy will be better with the first one... and a analist with the second one...

And about language, same if a Russian woman speak enough good english, she have not the level of a professional translator who speak both language each day... of course, i don't trust translator from agency... but you have independant translator too... so translator have only one interest, make a good translation... he don't sell woman... he sell his knowlegde...

My actual woman don't speak very good english... and i have ask her to write in russian... i have a russian friend with who is have work in the past and he translate the letter... no only a simple translate but give comment on the text itself... explain me the meaning of some phrase structure...

PS : JB, good post

[Turboguy]

I still think you guys are trying to put something in black and white and in mathmatical formulas and in simplistic ways and that it is impossible to do that.    I think the study of the human mind is the most abstract science there is.   

People are too mulitfacited to even consider that English ability, age difference education or any single factor is going to make a difference.   Find me an American man who married an American woman and who really understands her and knows everything that goes through her mind and what she really thinks and feels and I will give him the medal of honor. 

I personally think you can size someone up to a sizable degree in a reasonably short time.  Not a blink perhaps but I think in a few months where there is not a language difference you will know 80% of what you are ever going to know and at lets say the two year mark you might be at 90%.   

I will also say that people change.   often with the marriage vows.  With Russian gals perhaps it would be at the 2 year mark.   That is not just Russian gals.  It is all women.  Guys too.   Being able to communicate does not mean you will know the person after the vows. 

I think marriage to anyone is like a pot luck dinner.  You might like what you get and you might not but all the factors you are talking about are not going to tell you what you are going to get.

[jb]

I think marriage to anyone is like a pot luck dinner.

I tend to agree with this statement, but then I was always able to smell the difference between "pot roast" and "boiled cabbage".  I still think a man with his eyes wide open is able to make better decisions than some poor schmuck going at this blindly, a few letters and the words of a translator are poor foundations to base a marriage on.

Just my opinion...

[BC]

Even sex with someone you cannot understand is not as much fun.  Believe me.. very awkward and cumbersome.

[solomon]

No one should ever limit their search to just an RW or AW. You could meet the woman you want across the street. Every day is a new day.

[Turboguy]

Even sex with someone you cannot understand is not as much fun. Believe me.. very awkward and cumbersome.

I did not know that sex needed words but I guess when I heard a gal say "you vunt I shouwd kiss eet?  that it did crack me up a little bit.

[BC]

No one should ever limit their search to just an RW or AW. You could meet the woman you want across the street. Every day is a new day.

golly gee.. I think someone here got the point!

[KenC]

Solomon & BC,

I always worry about guys that think RW are the end all of women available.  I think they are looking for a cure for some personal problem they have.  I continued dating AW when I was single,  I just didn't close my mind to the possibilities of meeting a RW.  Just so happened, I fell in love with the Ruskie. 

KenC

jb-good post.

Turbo-too funny!:)

[corncrowe]

Solomon & BC,

I always worry about guys that think RW are the end all of women available.  I think they are looking for a cure for some personal problem they have.  I continued dating AW when I was single,  I just didn't close my mind to the possibilities of meeting a RW.  Just so happened, I fell in love with the Ruskie. 

KenC

jb-good post.

Turbo-too funny!:)

Ken!

I agree with JB, BC, Solomon and yourself on this issue.  I still date American, Dutch, and English women.  Women are the same all over the world.  I have dated women from the far east, pacific east, Europe, Americas and they don't change because of geography.

There is really nothing wrong with American women.  I meet so many nice women here in Texas, but I haven't found the "one".  She could be anywhere in the world waiting for me. 

Yes, I do like some of the character traits of FSU women.  But I also think they are a pain in the ass sometimes.  Sugar and spice!!!  Sometimes they just drive me to drink and sometimes I write great poetry.  Needless to say, I've done the same when I met a great American woman.

Jon

[solomon]

Solomon & BC,

I always worry about guys that think RW are the end all of women available. 

If I remember the words in the movie Cool Hand Luke correctly, the guy said "what we have here is a failure to communicate." My post said that someone should not limit their search to an RW or an AW. Didnt it? I must need my glasses adjusted.

[jb]

Women are the same all over the world.

Truer words were never spoken.

[Maxx]

Women are the same all over the world.

Truer words were never spoken.[/quote]
They should come with warning labels.

Maxx

 

[corncrowe]

Women are the same all over the world.

Truer words were never spoken.[/quote]
They should come with warning labels.

Maxx

 
[/quote]
They do...just read more closely next time...

  

Jon

[Photo Guy]

To say that women all over the world have much in common, makes sense. To say that women are the same all over the world is ridiculous. There are cultural differences.   ...Okay, if you want to, we can keep it a 'secret'.    Sure...okay...right...yup.

[corncrowe]

[user=134]Photo Guy[/user] wrote:

To say that women all over the world have much in common, makes sense. To say that women are the same all over the world is ridiculous. There are cultural differences. ...Okay, if you want to, we can keep it a 'secret'. Sure...okay...right...yup.

They still have a sex organ, don't they?  Breasts?  So biologically they are the same unless they're made different in your part of the universe?  Ever meet a woman in Kenya who didn't like flowers?  How about those little lovelies in Columbia?  What's cultural difference have anything to do with the basic "carbon based" form sitting across from you at dinner?  If you can whisper what they want to hear then you will stir their inner most desires no matter what culture or language!

P.S.  Men are really from Mars!!!

Jon

 

[BC]

P.S.  Men are really from Mars!!!

Yes strange creatures..

On one hand they say AW are unnatractive fat egotistical and mentally disturbed.. this is probably somewhat true within the age range of unmarried local women that would even consider dating them.

On the other hand they say RW are godsend from the stars, beautiful, thin and have better 'inner' qualities... and continue to click on profiles of women that are at least 10 to 20 years younger in hopes of finding that young elusive hottie.. I'd be willing to bet that the 40's+ martian clicking on 40's + womens profiles is a rare creature.

Look at local women 10 to 20+ years younger than yourself.. aren't there quite a few hotties out there? But guess what they probably wouldn't give you the time of day and even if they did you would be scared off by the competition or daddy toting a shotgun.

Oh.. but I'm very fit for my age.. I look 30 years younger.. I'm so desireable women of all ages throw themselves at me at home..

Sometimes I feel like puking when I see a martian

[corncrowe]

P.S. Men are really from Mars!!!

Yes strange creatures..

Sometimes I feel like puking when I see a martian

[/quote]
LOL!!!  But so very true!!

 

Jon 

[jb]

PhotoGuy wrote:

To say that women all over the world have much in common, makes sense. To say that women are the same all over the world is ridiculous. There are cultural differences. ...Okay, if you want to, we can keep it a 'secret'. Sure...okay...right...yup.

Doug, talk to us after you've been married to a FSU woman for a couple of years.  The similarities are not about body parts, we are talking about the female gender of the human species.  FSU women are not from Venus, and American men are not from Mars.  

Believe me, one day, in the far distant future, you'll understand.

[Photo Guy]

Call me a weirdo for noticing that women are different in different parts of the world. Even in the US, I see differences between women from Dallas and women from Seattle. And bigger differences between women from say, LA, and a small town in eastern Kentucky. Sure, all women have things in common, but to say women all over the world are the same....I dunno, it just seems ridiculous to me.

And BC's statement about guys who are attracted to younger women is so true. That kind of sexual attraction is a horrible thing. I think there should be a law against it. I think we should ostricize any guy who pursues a woman who is more than, say, 4 years his junior. We should use this forum to promote that AND the idea that RW are just like AW. When we are finished re-educating the masses about those two points, we can move on to re-educate RW. We can start with the idea that RM are just like western men, and then focus again on the terrible age difference parameter. It's a horrible thing, really. Just the other day, I was reading in the NY Times about a number of tragedies resulting from those huge age gaps between couples. It is now exposed, via RWD, as the reason most marriages in this country fail. ... I haven't finished my coffee yet, so I'm a bit sarcastic.  

[Photo Guy]

I just read my last post, above. I think it's ironic that if I had it to do all over again, (and I may have to), I would definitely choose a woman closer to my own age. Why? Because women in the FSU are still attractive in their forties and I'm sure they can't be as jaded as AW.
I randomly stumbled upon 'L' and went with the flow, allowing serendipity(note for BC) to play a part in a new relationship. She just happened to be much younger than me, and that was the result of a couple of my requirements- 'attractive' and 'no children'. Pretty simple. Just out of fun and curiosity I had also written to a 21 year old from the college town of Tver where the women are women and the sheep are not afraid. In most of those email exchanges, I questioned her decision to  write to me, a much older man. In an playful way, I debated with her that one disturbing aspect of our possible future relationship. I had caught her off guard and our communications ended when she felt bad, guilty about the fact that she had NOT talked about me with her parents. At that time, I had suggested that she look for a guy closer to her age. She was one of those girls who was gushing and in love with me from day 1 or 2. I'm exaggerating, but not much.

So, in retrospect, I'd advise a guy to look for a woman in the FSU who is fairly close to your age, maybe as much as 10 years younger. I did not want to deal with children from a former marriage. That requirement disqualifies a huge percentage of women close to my age.

A few years ago, I met and dated a 21 year old woman who worked in a restaurant. She was an ex-gymnast surfer girl. She was fun. She was outspoken, outrageous, a flirt, and liked older men. Talk about exciting. She was perfect except for one thing - she was an immature 21 year old. There IS an association between age and maturity. This woman had two or three boyfriends at all times.

Now with 'L', we have a 29 year old who is totally mature and an
'old maid' by Ukrainian standards. Very different from that 21 year old AW. There is still a large age gap, but I think we can be happy with each other and THAT is the bottom line. Trust your instincts. Romance is a little like a pot luck dinner.  Learn to fine tune your ability to judge people quickly. Make a list of those qualities that you are looking for and those you are trying to avoid. This will allow you to know yourself better.     ...Finished yapping for now.