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Author Topic: Childfree in Miami  (Read 11487 times)

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Offline RealBFE

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Childfree in Miami
« on: January 11, 2020, 06:54:35 PM »
I stumbled across this site a couple of months ago, and have been reading as time permits.  I was married for 20 years and after a few years of being single I am ready for a serious relationship again.  I am in my early 40s with a comfortable income for my area and the ability to travel several weeks a year. I'm physically fit and quite active so most people assume I'm in my mid 30s. Most of my US dating experience has been on sugar dating type sites so I am used to age gap dating and being guarded about scams.

I'm looking for a tall, attractive FSU woman around 25-30 who doesn't have or want children. I seem to be getting a lot of attention from women I find attractive on Elenasmodels but they either have/want kids or don't speak English.  I thought English was tought in schools for people in this age group. 

Any suggestions of good dating sites to look into?  For an English only speaker, would it make sense to take a trip and try meeting someone offline instead?
« Last Edit: January 11, 2020, 06:57:44 PM by RealBFE »

Offline Davo

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Re: Childfree in Miami
« Reply #1 on: January 11, 2020, 07:38:18 PM »
Welcome 😊

Try fdating.com as an alternative and use the search function to find English speaking women.

Finding a woman in that age range who doesn’t want a child or has young children already is possibly going to be your biggest challenge. Most of the women I’ve talked with place a higher importance on having children and a family than most western women.

Don’t rule out older women your age. There are some amazing beautiful women in their early 40’s who have a youthful out look on life. I’ve spent time with two older women and they have both been fun to be with and had a youthful exuberance.

There are lots of 40+ women on fdating that have adult children or no children, which might be an easier option over younger women of a child baring age.
« Last Edit: January 11, 2020, 08:51:36 PM by Davo »

Offline ML

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Re: Childfree in Miami
« Reply #2 on: January 11, 2020, 07:41:59 PM »
Welcome to our world.

Will be tough to find a gal anywhere who doesn't have or doesn't want children.
There have been a couple of guys here who thought they had found such, but after bringing the gals here marrying them, and continuing 5 years or so, the gals changed their mind and wanted children; and marriages ended.

Go read, Pursuing FSUW 101 and other threads in the starting out section as shown below.

http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=14615.0

And don't be saying you look younger than your age; it will bring you grief here.

Listen to what everyone here says and keep what you think  suits you best.
And don't get offended and start arguing back against the experts here, and then threaten to leave and never come back.
Dozens have gone that route and always toughen up and come back eventually.

You can read the last part of my venture (which is only a tiny part of my experience) here:

http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=18530.0

When you read a person's advice here; ask for their bonafides.

My bonafides:  30 or more trips to FSU over 15 years or so (mostly on business for first 10 years of that) having first dates with over 150 FSU women, third dates and more with probably 50 or so, extended time (a week or more) with 20 or so, month long visits/trips with 9, and now living with FSU gal here in USA for 9 years, married for last 5 years.

Best of luck to you.

« Last Edit: January 11, 2020, 07:46:48 PM by ML »
A beautiful woman is pleasant to look at, but it is easier to live with a pleasant acting one.

Offline RealBFE

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Re: Childfree in Miami
« Reply #3 on: January 11, 2020, 08:04:09 PM »
Welcome to our world.

Will be tough to find a gal anywhere who doesn't have or doesn't want children.
There have been a couple of guys here who thought they had found such, but after bringing the gals here marrying them, and continuing 5 years or so, the gals changed their mind and wanted children; and marriages ended.

Go read, Pursuing FSUW 101 and other threads in the starting out section as shown below.

http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=14615.0

And don't be saying you look younger than your age; it will bring you grief here.

Listen to what everyone here says and keep what you think  suits you best.
And don't get offended and start arguing back against the experts here, and then threaten to leave and never come back.
Dozens have gone that route and always toughen up and come back eventually.

You can read the last part of my venture (which is only a tiny part of my experience) here:

http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=18530.0

When you read a person's advice here; ask for their bonafides.

My bonafides:  30 or more trips to FSU over 15 years or so (mostly on business for first 10 years of that) having first dates with over 150 FSU women, third dates and more with probably 50 or so, extended time (a week or more) with 20 or so, month long visits/trips with 9, and now living with FSU gal here in USA for 9 years, married for last 5 years.

Best of luck to you.

Appreciate the advice and the links. I'm hoping my age and location work to my advantage.  I know the childfree life is a hurdle, but I know eventually I will find the right one.  I am ready to settle down with the right woman but I'm not going to rush into anything either.  I joined fdating.com  a few months ago, but didn't put much effort into it.   I guess I can try that again.

Offline BillyB

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Re: Childfree in Miami
« Reply #4 on: January 11, 2020, 08:14:28 PM »



Welcome to the forum RealBFE. There are lots of FSU women in Florida. Many go there for seasonal work or to live. I remember being on Mamba.ru and there were lots of FSU women in Florida.


If you don't want children ever, make sure to bring that up early the ladies you communicate with. I remember a member here that didn't want kids and got married. His wife had a change of heart. It ended up in divorce. Be aware, people change over time. The younger the lady, the greater the chance she will change her mind on kids in the future.
Fund the audits, spread the word and educate people, write your politicians and other elected officials. Stay active in the fight to save our country. Over 220 generals and admirals say we are in a fight for our survival like no other time since 1776.

Offline RealBFE

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Re: Childfree in Miami
« Reply #5 on: January 11, 2020, 08:24:52 PM »


Welcome to the forum RealBFE. There are lots of FSU women in Florida. Many go there for seasonal work or to live. I remember being on Mamba.ru and there were lots of FSU women in Florida.


If you don't want children ever, make sure to bring that up early the ladies you communicate with. I remember a member here that didn't want kids and got married. His wife had a change of heart. It ended up in divorce. Be aware, people change over time. The younger the lady, the greater the chance she will change her mind on kids in the future.

 Since it is so important to me, I cover the issue of children within the first 3 messages, often starting the conversation by asking about her views on it.  I also plan to have an childfree clause written into the prenup since Florida law considers a married man to be legally responsible for a child born to a wife regardless of the biological father.

Offline BillyB

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Re: Childfree in Miami
« Reply #6 on: January 11, 2020, 08:47:34 PM »
Florida law considers a married man to be legally responsible for a child born to a wife regardless of the biological father.


How does a childfree clause help you unless you allow your wife to have kids with another man? Even if you accidentally have kids with a wife or she tricks you by forgetting to take her birth control pills, a childfree prenup isn't going to relieve you from having to financially support the child
Fund the audits, spread the word and educate people, write your politicians and other elected officials. Stay active in the fight to save our country. Over 220 generals and admirals say we are in a fight for our survival like no other time since 1776.

Offline RealBFE

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Re: Childfree in Miami
« Reply #7 on: January 11, 2020, 08:54:36 PM »
How does a childfree clause help you unless you allow your wife to have kids with another man? Even if you accidentally have kids with a wife or she tricks you by forgetting to take her birth control pills, a childfree prenup isn't going to relieve you from having to financially support the child

The clause would have stipulations modifying the divorce settlement should she become pregnant since it obviously would not be mine.  I am not relying on her methods of birth control.

Offline BillyB

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Re: Childfree in Miami
« Reply #8 on: January 11, 2020, 09:22:03 PM »

The more a prenup deviates from State law, the more likely a judge will throw it out. In family court when it comes to divorce, a family court judge is going to put the interest of children before the interests of the husband and wife. A child has no say in that prenup. The judge will make a decision that will take care of that child regardless if husband and wife both have agreed upon prenups to excuse themselves of responsibility of a child.

I don't know about the Florida law you're talking about but if a wife has a child by another man, can a husband immediately divorce his wife and Florida in turn will make the biological father pay child support?

The clause would have stipulations modifying the divorce settlement should she become pregnant since it obviously would not be mine.


I don't believe a person can penalize a spouse for bad behavior and give themselves more property in the event of a divorce. Isn't Florida a no fault state? Don't need a person to be at fault to initiate a divorce and a judge isn't going to penalize someone for bad behavior.
Fund the audits, spread the word and educate people, write your politicians and other elected officials. Stay active in the fight to save our country. Over 220 generals and admirals say we are in a fight for our survival like no other time since 1776.

Offline jone

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Re: Childfree in Miami
« Reply #9 on: January 11, 2020, 09:47:58 PM »
Welcome to the forum, BFE.

My experience regarding women who do not want children from Eastern Europe are ones that are not too interested in a marital relationship.  You can find those all day long.   We call them Pro Daters.

The simple fact is that once that biological alarm clock starts starts ringing the FSU Women come a'running. 

Two quick observations to help you on your way:

1.  There should be a plethora of Russian women in Florida.   Might be a good idea to date one or two of those to understand the mindset.

2.  If you do wind up with one of these women, you will know when she is into you.  You become her whole life.   Most Western Men aren't ready for that type of mentality.   These women are not game players, per se.   Were I you, I would back my target range to 30 - 35.   The women in this range generally are much more pragmatic about what they need to do to make a relationship work.
Kissing girls is a goodness.  It beats the hell out of card games.  - Robert Heinlein

Offline RealBFE

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Re: Childfree in Miami
« Reply #10 on: January 11, 2020, 10:09:17 PM »
The more a prenup deviates from State law, the more likely a judge will throw it out. In family court when it comes to divorce, a family court judge is going to put the interest of children before the interests of the husband and wife. A child has no say in that prenup. The judge will make a decision that will take care of that child regardless if husband and wife both have agreed upon prenups to excuse themselves of responsibility of a child.

I don't know about the Florida law you're talking about but if a wife has a child by another man, can a husband immediately divorce his wife and Florida in turn will make the biological father pay child support?

I don't believe a person can penalize a spouse for bad behavior and give themselves more property in the event of a divorce. Isn't Florida a no fault state? Don't need a person to be at fault to initiate a divorce and a judge isn't going to penalize someone for bad behavior.

The point of the clause would be to identify terms that would be less advantageous to the wife in divorce if she were pregnant with another man's child.  So long as the divorce is finalized prior to birth, all issues of child support would be avoided and there's nothing for a judge to decide.

Offline Omega82

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Re: Childfree in Miami
« Reply #11 on: January 11, 2020, 10:16:30 PM »
Large age gaps are not that common anymore.  The FSU has become MUCH more affluent than in 1991. 

Offline RealBFE

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Re: Childfree in Miami
« Reply #12 on: January 11, 2020, 10:22:06 PM »
Welcome to the forum, BFE.

My experience regarding women who do not want children from Eastern Europe are ones that are not too interested in a marital relationship.  You can find those all day long.   We call them Pro Daters.

The simple fact is that once that biological alarm clock starts starts ringing the FSU Women come a'running. 

Two quick observations to help you on your way:

1.  There should be a plethora of Russian women in Florida.   Might be a good idea to date one or two of those to understand the mindset.

2.  If you do wind up with one of these women, you will know when she is into you.  You become her whole life.   Most Western Men aren't ready for that type of mentality.   These women are not game players, per se.   Were I you, I would back my target range to 30 - 35.   The women in this range generally are much more pragmatic about what they need to do to make a relationship work.

1.  I have dated 3 FSU women.  One living in Florida, one living elsewhere in US and one in the US on vacation.  My experience with these ladies is what made me decide to seek a FSU wife.

2.  I have no problem with the mentality of FSU women, actually it is what I am seeking.  While I wouldn't avoid someone 30-35 based solely on age, I find my interests and lifestyle work better with someone under 30 in addition to my attraction preferences.

Offline RealBFE

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Re: Childfree in Miami
« Reply #13 on: January 11, 2020, 10:23:33 PM »
Large age gaps are not that common anymore.  The FSU has become MUCH more affluent than in 1991.

 I have been considering reducing my age in my dating profile by 5 years just to clear the age filters for this reason but I have have already received several expressions of interest from woman that were in my target age range who identified their preferences for a man under 40.
« Last Edit: January 11, 2020, 10:40:18 PM by RealBFE »

Offline BillyB

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Re: Childfree in Miami
« Reply #14 on: January 11, 2020, 10:44:59 PM »
The point of the clause would be to identify terms that would be less advantageous to the wife in divorce if she were pregnant with another man's child.  So long as the divorce is finalized prior to birth, all issues of child support would be avoided and there's nothing for a judge to decide.

To design a prenup that will hold up in court, you will have to get an attorney to represent your future wife and if English is not her first language, it's best to get an interpreter. That way she has representation to protect her interests and a clear understanding of what she is signing.

An attorney will write up a prenup anyway you want but it's best to take the attorney's advice on what you can or can't do/say in a prenup. A prenup can't be written to dismiss State laws. In my opinion, a prenup should be designed to enforce state laws and prevent a judge from deviating from those laws. Judges have a lot of discretion in family court and their rulings can be unfair. Some judges may favor men over women or women over men. A prenup that follows state guidelines in a divorce is more likely to be honored by a judge which in turn keeps the judge from deviating from it since it mirrors State laws.

If you insist on a prenup that is lopsided with all kinds of language describing ugly scenarios and penalties, you may lose a quality woman in seconds after spending months of trying to win her heart. If you insist on a prenup that follows the State guidelines and is fair based on what the attorneys say, she will feel you are willing to take care of her to some degree should things end. She will respect you and be happy to have you as a husband.
Fund the audits, spread the word and educate people, write your politicians and other elected officials. Stay active in the fight to save our country. Over 220 generals and admirals say we are in a fight for our survival like no other time since 1776.

Offline whynotme

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Re: Childfree in Miami
« Reply #15 on: January 11, 2020, 10:48:00 PM »
I have been considering reducing my age in my dating profile by 5 years just to clear the age filters for this reason but I have have already received several expressions of interest from woman that were in my target age range who identified their preferences for a man under 40.
and photoshop photos...  :D I think lie about age will not make any good.

Offline RealBFE

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Re: Childfree in Miami
« Reply #16 on: January 11, 2020, 11:00:33 PM »
and photoshop photos...  :D I think lie about age will not make any good.

You're missing the point.  I have no need for photoshop.  I have not dated with less than a 12 year age gap since my wife.  My only concern would be to get in front of an audience that had dismissed me before viewing my profile solely on a numeric filter.  If I were to change my age  in my profile, I would disclose my real age inside the text of my profile as to begin the relationship truthfully.
« Last Edit: January 11, 2020, 11:10:55 PM by RealBFE »

Offline RealBFE

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Re: Childfree in Miami
« Reply #17 on: January 11, 2020, 11:09:29 PM »
To design a prenup that will hold up in court, you will have to get an attorney to represent your future wife and if English is not her first language, it's best to get an interpreter. That way she has representation to protect her interests and a clear understanding of what she is signing.


An attorney will write up a prenup anyway you want but it's best to take the attorney's advice on what you can or can't do/say in a prenup. A prenup can't be written to dismiss State laws. In my opinion, a prenup should be designed to enforce state laws and prevent a judge from deviating from those laws. Judges have a lot of discretion in family court and their rulings can be unfair. Some judges may favor men over women or women over men. A prenup that follows state guidelines in a divorce is more likely to be honored by a judge which in turn keeps the judge from deviating from it since it mirrors State laws.

If you insist on a prenup that is lopsided with all kinds of language describing ugly scenarios and penalties, you may lose a quality woman in seconds after spending months of trying to win her heart. If you insist on a prenup that follows the State guidelines and is fair based on what the attorneys say, she will feel you are willing to take care of her to some degree should things end. She will respect you and be happy to have you as a husband.


 The prenup would be written here and presented to her by an attorney of her choosing in her own language before the visa process is started, then resigned again on us soil so she has adequate representation.  I would rather scare someone early than invest years of my life in the wrong person.  Time is one asset I cannot replace.  I am not a lawyer, but can't imagine a judge showing prejudice against someone who has documented their intentions to remain without children who attaches medical disclosures with the prenup as evidence of the decision and wants to protect themselves from visa fraud.
« Last Edit: January 11, 2020, 11:14:25 PM by RealBFE »

Offline BillyB

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Re: Childfree in Miami
« Reply #18 on: January 11, 2020, 11:46:42 PM »
presented to her by an attorney of her choosing in her own language before the visa process is started


If she chooses an American attorney based out of Florida, would you fly the attorney to the country she's living in? Don't let her pick an attorney from her country that has no idea about Florida law and her rights in Florida. In the event of a divorce, her attorney may attempt to throw the prenup out and all the attorney needs to give the judge is one good reason.

There are risks marrying somebody. There are rewards. We can increase the rewards and minimize the risk by making good decisions. Get to know a woman well. Spend a lot of time with her. Make sure she's "into" you. If you marry a good woman and you're good to her, you won't have to worry about her doing bad to you.
Fund the audits, spread the word and educate people, write your politicians and other elected officials. Stay active in the fight to save our country. Over 220 generals and admirals say we are in a fight for our survival like no other time since 1776.

Offline RealBFE

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Re: Childfree in Miami
« Reply #19 on: January 11, 2020, 11:58:55 PM »
If she chooses an American attorney based out of Florida, would you fly the attorney to the country she's living in? Don't let her pick an attorney from her country that has no idea about Florida law and her rights in Florida. In the event of a divorce, her attorney may attempt to throw the prenup out and all the attorney needs to give the judge is one good reason.

There are risks marrying somebody. There are rewards. We can increase the rewards and minimize the risk by making good decisions. Get to know a woman well. Spend a lot of time with her. Make sure she's "into" you. If you marry a good woman and you're good to her, you won't have to worry about her doing bad to you.

No, I wouldn't fly the Florida attorney to her.  That's one of the reasons I said it would be signed in her home country and again on US soil.  I do plan on taking my time and getting to know her but when it comes to kids, women can do funny things and I don't want to be broke and divorced in my 50s because someone decided to change their mind on something I was very clear from day 1 was a deal breaker.

Offline rwd123

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Re: Childfree in Miami
« Reply #20 on: January 12, 2020, 02:35:48 AM »
I stumbled across this site a couple of months ago, and have been reading as time permits.  I was married for 20 years and after a few years of being single I am ready for a serious relationship again.  I am in my early 40s with a comfortable income for my area and the ability to travel several weeks a year. I'm physically fit and quite active so most people assume I'm in my mid 30s. Most of my US dating experience has been on sugar dating type sites so I am used to age gap dating and being guarded about scams.

I'm looking for a tall, attractive FSU woman around 25-30 who doesn't have or want children. I seem to be getting a lot of attention from women I find attractive on Elenasmodels but they either have/want kids or don't speak English.  I thought English was tought in schools for people in this age group. 

Any suggestions of good dating sites to look into?  For an English only speaker, would it make sense to take a trip and try meeting someone offline instead?
  • Most women 25-30 will want children.
  • Many women 25-30 who say they don't want children, can change their minds. A prenup won't protect you from this.
  • Most women 25-30 aren't interested in a guy in their 40s (yes, no different in the FSU and you're no different).
  • Many women, particularly FSUW aged 25-30 are FLAKY! They're not mature or ready for cross-cultural marriage.
  • Women seeking sponsors (i.e., sugar daddy relationships) will date older for the money. This age gap doesn't translate to regular girls.
  • On average Russian women aren't tall compared to other European countries.
  • The majority of FSU women do not speak English or speak poorly. This ratio increases the further you get away from central Europe and the major cities.
You're better off looking to date someone closer to your age that either has a late teenage/adult child or is of that age and not wanting children. I think you're pushing shit up hill to meet a woman with your desired criteria - blunt but setting expectations. Don't fall for the line that young FSUW date significantly older. They don't unless you sponsor them. (Yes there are exceptions but a broken clock is right twice a day)

If you have the time I suggest you look at studying Russian at university in a summer school program. You will pick up language skills and get some time in country to date, but you'd need at least a month.


Offline Davo

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Re: Childfree in Miami
« Reply #21 on: January 12, 2020, 02:47:53 AM »
No, I wouldn't fly the Florida attorney to her.  That's one of the reasons I said it would be signed in her home country and again on US soil.  I do plan on taking my time and getting to know her but when it comes to kids, women can do funny things and I don't want to be broke and divorced in my 50s because someone decided to change their mind on something I was very clear from day 1 was a deal breaker.

Just get the snip.... As a fellow middle aged guy who’s dating and doesn’t want more kids, it’s the best investment I made.

I’d just put your real age on your profile. With the amount of BS most FSU women go through with western men online you’ll lose more women than you gain. Even if you come clean they will see the contradiction and won’t reply. They face a lot of men playing all sorts of games and will tar you with the same brush for the smallest indiscretion.

Offline RealBFE

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Re: Childfree in Miami
« Reply #22 on: January 12, 2020, 03:01:14 AM »
Just get the snip.... As a fellow middle aged guy who’s dating and doesn’t want more kids, it’s the best investment I made.

I’d just put your real age on your profile. With the amount of BS most FSU women go through with western men online you’ll lose more women than you gain. Even if you come clean they will see the contradiction and won’t reply. They face a lot of men playing all sorts of games and will tar you with the same brush for the smallest indiscretion.

I got the snip several years ago along with the associated follow ups which is why I said divorce would be the expected remedy for pregnancy.  I tend to agree with your point in regards to the age issue and so far I haven't seen using my real age being a barrier to getting responses.

Offline Lily

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Re: Childfree in Miami
« Reply #23 on: January 12, 2020, 06:13:37 AM »
I have been considering reducing my age in my dating profile by 5 years just to clear the age filters for this reason but I have have already received several expressions of interest from woman that were in my target age range who identified their preferences for a man under 40.

Not sure that doctoring your age would do any good for you in the eyes of a female prospect on a dating site. Personally I have seen a few guys doing that in order to appear eligible to a younger woman. To me, it is lying.

Agree with previous responses. FSUW generally want kids. More than that, some of them tend to have less than good opinion of a man who does not want kids. Cannot tell how prevalent this mentality though.
Da, da, Canada; Nyet, nyet, Soviet!

Offline RealBFE

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Re: Childfree in Miami
« Reply #24 on: January 12, 2020, 07:40:24 AM »
Not sure that doctoring your age would do any good for you in the eyes of a female prospect on a dating site. Personally I have seen a few guys doing that in order to appear eligible to a younger woman. To me, it is lying.

Agree with previous responses. FSUW generally want kids. More than that, some of them tend to have less than good opinion of a man who does not want kids. Cannot tell how prevalent this mentality though.

The vast majority of women under 40 worldwide would prefer to have kids, however this isn't 100% of women.  I would agree, I have seen a harsher level of response to childfree life from some FSU women but I believe it is mostly in line with their very "direct" personality traits.

 

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