Just got back from Odessa, Ukraine!

[Patagonie]

Huge number of foreign men married to Ukrainian men? I honestly know very few foreign guys that are in successful relationships with Ukrainian women. Most of the ones that are are guys 60+.

But seriously walking around Odessa centre is pure comedy, always the same, one foreigner escorted by two Ukrainian girls, who of whom will claim not to speak English. The girls are pretending to be enthralled by his conversation about Sheep farming in Idaho or something

Well lets see that research in action when a 20 something year old sex bomb in fluttering her eyelashes at you

It's easy to meet women in Ukraine, but hard to find a good one. I am of course not here for the vareneky and borsch, and have bedded scores of them. But I don't see the appeal of making one my wife.

I also know many foreigners that have been kidnapped and robbed here, especially watch out at places like Buffalo 99, a restaurant in the centre, girls like to take foreigners there because they get an inflated bill which the girls take a cut of. Many of the also work with chechen crooks who will burgle your apartment and break into your car etc

Anyway I'm all for a good love story too , so I hope you guys will find what you're looking for. Your best hunting grounds are Nikolaev oblast, Poltava, Kharkiv, Lviv, Ivano Frankivsk etc.....Western Ukrainians are more religious and you are more likely to find a "wholesome" girl there, as they worship something else apart from cash.

i give some credits to your story.

In 2007 only 3200 ukranians women were married to foreigners outside CIS. This a very low number at the end if you really think about.

[Gator]

odessite,

Your perspective is refreshing and seems accurate.   I have never been to Odessa but heard much about it. 

I met many fine RW and UW, married twice.  They can be very delightful, yet can be much trouble too.  I can say that about AW, and AW say that about AM.  Maybe the good ones from both genders "have already been taken."   

If it is a man-woman thing, I am awaiting the future development of medications that harmoniously balance hormones in couples and imprint compatible mentalities indifferent to gender.

[LAman]

But seriously walking around Odessa centre is pure comedy, always the same, one foreigner escorted by two Ukrainian girls, who of whom will claim not to speak English. The girls are pretending to be enthralled by his conversation about Sheep farming in Idaho or something

Actually I agree with you.....I cringe when I see this. It does stick out like a sore thumb. Many times you see an older man walking with 2 girls in park area above harbor.

 I also know many foreigners that have been kidnapped and robbed here, especially watch out at places like Buffalo 99, a restaurant in the centre, girls like to take foreigners there because they get an inflated bill which the girls take a cut of. Many of the also work with chechen crooks who will burgle your apartment and break into your car etc

 

I don't agree, 99 is not very expensive, most of menu is small dishes which would be less than $10. I have been there many times....in fact it is a place I like to meet at. I don't find many girls that consider 99 a place they like to eat at.....now Top Sandwich, that is popular!!

[Photo Guy]

Odessite,
There are examples here at RWD, where Western guys have married women from Ukraine. Some are not happily married, but others are happy with their new relationship or long-term marriage.

Marrying someone is dangerous. There are always dangers. I would advise this newbie to follow his heart, and follow his instincts. There are two extremes, deciding to marry after a short time, and deciding after many years of knowing someone. Both scenarios can be either a positive or negative experience. This is true even if she's from the same town as you. 

I'd advise you to focus on the important qualities- Is she gracious? How is she at conflict resolution? Make sure she doesn't have toxic qualities, like problems with alcohol, substance abuse, bi-polar condition, psychotic...be aware of any extreme problems. The same qualities you'd avoid on your home turf. Do take notice of her positive qualities too.
    Obviously, she needs to be lovable.(or is it just 'infatuation'?) Can she forgive you for a clumsy remark or does she hold a grudge forever? Can she love herself, without being totally narcissistic? Does she hate your dad, or does she like him? Judge her character. If she ONLY listens to rap or country and western, drop her like a hot potato. (shootka)
  Lastly, remember that 'love' is a verb, something you bestow on someone who's as imperfect as you. Love is not just a 'feeling'. You might want to read about the state of 'infatuation'. That's the very first phase of courtship.
Good luck!

[alex330]

I met my wife in Odessa on the same website. Great city full of wonderful women. If you are young and have something going for you it is a prime place to find your other half. Filing the K1 that fast would scare me a bit personally but to each their own. I would try to visit her as much as possible in the meantime and rent an apartment instead of the hotel next trip. Play house a bit together and more comfortable. Best of luck to you.

[iceshaft07]

Hey all, I didn't realize I had so many responses. I'm actually going back to Odessa to see Olya again next week. I'll report in after trip #2.

Also, I saw a bunch of criticisms, which I will respond to later today.

[iceshaft07]

Hey all! (Beware, phone typos). Writing on a train stuck in the snow from Boston :-).

About my travel fears, yeah I can be nervous. I had a layover in Istanbul (borders Syria). This was also my first time flying anywhere outside the U.S. I just kept my mouth shut and pretended I was local. This was with MH117 still in my mind.

I read all your comments and thought they were great. But I'm trusting myself on this one. I did lots of research prior to meeting her. There were other women that I did talk to prior to the visit, but I didn't seem to click with them. And, one of them was a scammer. Come to think of it, I once tried to meet a woman in Toronto for a date. I planned the trip with friends, and of course, she wasn't in Toronto. She was in Romania. I have my long distance relationship scars too.

I don't see why all of you are panicked about me prepping the K-1. I signed it with her when I was with her on the trip. It takes 15 months to finish, that's plenty of time to learn about eachother and call it off if something smells foul.

As I said, I am visiting again in two weeks, this time for a longer period of time. I'm actually going to propose!

I feel if she were a scammer, she'd be putting in too much effort for such little reward. She could do much better as a scammer than me.

We have had small fights. She has been upset with me, usually because she has much better manners than myself. Im a guy, what can I say. But I'm learning and working on it. She is learning to cope with my passion of video games. We talked about what we wanted to do about our wedding, and at first she was mad because she though I decided without her. But it turned into a discussion, not a fight.

As far as the time frame goes, I've met Americans who married within 6 months. I'm marrying over 15 months or more. In the mean time, I can't have any physical involvement with my girlfriend unless I fly 4900 miles and all I can really do is talk to her. How many other relationships can say this?

I've received a lot of criticism from a lot of people about this. My response is this: I think all marriages should go through a K-1 process. Why? Because It sucks. And if you are willing to go through it, and succeed, I think your marriage has a far better chance of working out.

As an update, Olya and I have been talking for just shy of 6 months now. I'm really impressed at how far our communication abilities have come along. It's nice to say that we can have 10 minute conversations without a translator about basic things. I still speak Russian, she still speaks English. We talk every day via skype, viber, and facebook. She is often worried about me wearing weather appropriate clothing outside :-). Ocassionally I call on viber during my lunch hour. Every sunday, we skype by video.

I'm very happy about this. I like that we have to talk to eachother, and that that's the only way of keeping the relationship alive right now. I think more relationships should be like this

I saw a few comments about how I should date Americans again. Let me be clear on this: I would rather be tossed into a volcano than date another American woman.

Why?

It is impossible to date them. I could have everything in common with someone, and they won't talk to me. Meet someone at a bar and you say something wrong? So long. Uncomfortable on the first date? Good bye. There's no long term thinking with American women. They don't give you the benefit of the doubt. They are short sited. I have had women review my profiles, write messages for me, I've observed the movement of becoming a pick up artist, read books on relationships and dating. It's not a valuable place to put my time.

Then, after good year of wondering why people aren't writing me back, I'll start to wonder what's wrong with me.

I am not doing it. I've had my fun share of hell dating American women. No thanks. If I have to date in the future, it will be a FSUW. They are for more open minded.

I think a lot of people who say "stay local" don't realize how much easier it can be meeting a foreigner. Yes, there's more at risk, but the rewards are much higher. And the risk can be mitigated if done carefully. Consider this: There's no comparison between okcupid.com and fdating.com. women will actually respond to polite messages on fdating. Travel with a friend. Stay in well known places. Read forums.

All that said: if/when I have children, I too would certainly advise them not to do what I am doing. a second time around, I wouldn't do it this way. I think we can agree that I got lucky. I went to Odessa and didn't come back beaten by thugs.

Thanks for your feedback everyone. I'll write again after my next trip.

[BillyB]

She is learning to cope with my passion of video games.

If she's not accepting it now, wait till you get married. Many FSU women I talked to tells me they want to marry a man, not a boy. I'm not trying to insult you but look at it from their perspective. They see video games as something for children. Every man needs a hobby whether it's working on cars, socializing with the boys, or even playing video games. When you have the talk again, convince her it's a hobby to keep you out of trouble. Grats on your engagement.

[AkMike]

Emails and Skypeing aren't really getting to know her. You really need more face to face time to get to know the real her.

 It's too easy to get false impressions about the gal based on what you understand over the internet.
 Take it slower and spend as much time as possible with her before you propose.

[Anotherkiwi]

About my travel fears, yeah I can be nervous. I had a layover in Istanbul (borders Syria).

Don't be ridiculous!  Istanbul is more than 800 kilometres from Syria.  That's like saying San Francisco borders Mexico, or that Atlanta borders Canada.

This was also my first time flying anywhere outside the U.S. I just kept my mouth shut and pretended I was local. This was with MH117 still in my mind.

Never a bad strategy to shut up, look and learn.  Mind you, I don't see how MH17 (not 117) is relevant - people aren't going to shoot down a plane that you're on just because they happen to hear you speak English.  if somebody had already decided to shoot down your flight, there's nothing you personally can do to change that.

As I said, I am visiting again in two weeks, this time for a longer period of time. I'm actually going to propose!

The difference between you and so many others is that you have already met this woman - you're not going with rose-tinted glasses, full of expectations that you will sweep the lady off her feet and carry her away to your castle in Fairyland.  You have also spent countless hours talking since your return home from your first trip.  That is a significant advantage to you.  Good luck with the proposal.

She is learning to cope with my passion of video games.

I agree with BillyB.  Put this on the back-burner - NOW!  We've had one WM/FSUW member's marriage nearly bite the dust, to a large extent because the husband basically ignored the wife due to his gaming.  If you're spending many hours online every day for this, your marriage will not even take place, let alone survive.  It's OK if you're both interested - I know one married couple here who are both passionate gamers - but it could be the death-knell to a relationship where only one is involved (not just video games, obviously - any pastime or hobby where one partner is obsessive to the point of ignoring their significant other will lead to major problems within the relationship).

As an update, Olya and I have been talking for just shy of 6 months now. I'm really impressed at how far our communication abilities have come along. It's nice to say that we can have 10 minute conversations without a translator about basic things. I still speak Russian, she still speaks English.

Huh?  Are you talking about your entire conversations?  That must be pretty exhausting.

I look forward to your updates after the next trip.

[mendeleyev]

I had a layover in Istanbul (borders Syria).

Perhaps he meant Bulgaria? No matter. Mrs M and I have a apartment in Varna (Bulgaria), where we keep holding to the fantasy that we'll be able to spend some serious vacation time there someday.

Nice that you got to visit her country, and that you are going back.

One caution about the K-1: if memory serves, I believe that there is a limit on how many a guy can file. That being said, don't use the K-1 process as vetting because you could very quickly run out of options.

At any rate, good luck and best wishes to you both.

[jone]

Don't be ridiculous!  Istanbul is more than 800 kilometres from Syria.  That's like saying San Francisco borders Mexico, or that Atlanta borders Canada.

Never a bad strategy to shut up, look and learn.  Mind you, I don't see how MH17 (not 117) is relevant - people aren't going to shoot down a plane that you're on just because they happen to hear you speak English.  if somebody had already decided to shoot down your flight, there's nothing you personally can do to change that.

The difference between you and so many others is that you have already met this woman - you're not going with rose-tinted glasses, full of expectations that you will sweep the lady off her feet and carry her away to your castle in Fairyland.  You have also spent countless hours talking since your return home from your first trip.  That is a significant advantage to you.  Good luck with the proposal.

I agree with BillyB.  Put this on the back-burner - NOW!  We've had one WM/FSUW member's marriage nearly bite the dust, to a large extent because the husband basically ignored the wife due to his gaming.  If you're spending many hours online every day for this, your marriage will not even take place, let alone survive.  It's OK if you're both interested - I know one married couple here who are both passionate gamers - but it could be the death-knell to a relationship where only one is involved (not just video games, obviously - any pastime or hobby where one partner is obsessive to the point of ignoring their significant other will lead to major problems within the relationship).

Huh?  Are you talking about your entire conversations?  That must be pretty exhausting.

I look forward to your updates after the next trip.

I don't see the video game fetish as any better or any worse than other obstacles that need to be overcome in a relationship.  If she is a smart woman (and she sounds it) then she will figure a way to wean you off of games if that is her desire.  Any new couple needs to make adjustments in lifestyles to accommodate their mate.  Yours will be no exception.

Good luck.

[Larry1]

One caution about the K-1: if memory serves, I believe that there is a limit on how many a guy can file. That being said, don't use the K-1 process as vetting because you could very quickly run out of options.

At any rate, good luck and best wishes to you both.

There is a lifetime limit of two K1s a person can file.

[Anotherkiwi]

I don't see the video game fetish as any better or any worse than other obstacles that need to be overcome in a relationship.  If she is a smart woman (and she sounds it) then she will figure a way to wean you off of games if that is her desire.  Any new couple needs to make adjustments in lifestyles to accommodate their mate.  Yours will be no exception.

An hour (maybe two) each night might not be too bad, jone, but addictions (not fetishes) are extremely pernicious, and there is no way that any untrained person has a hope of "weaning" someone away from them.  I'm not for a moment suggesting that iceshaft07 is that far gone, but I've had experience in this field and would hate to see a potential relationship ruined because of this.  There's a hell of a difference between "adjustment in lifestyles to accommodate their mate" and the all-consuming abyss of addiction.  At least on-line gaming shouldn't have anywhere near the financial effects of drugs, alcohol or gambling.

[ML]

  If she is a smart woman (and she sounds it) then she will figure a way to wean you off of games if that is her desire.

Reminds me of another smart woman:

Newly married man to wife:  OK honeymoon is over.  I am going to resume going out with my buddies 3 nights a week to play pool, drink, etc.

Wife:  OK do what you want.  But I am going to have sex here at 8 PM every night . . . whether you are here or not.

[BillyB]

There is a lifetime limit of two K1s a person can file.

It's easy to get around that with waivers. The government isn't going to advertise that fact but if a guy wants it bad enough, he can find out how to do it.

[LAman]

It's easy to get around that with waivers. The government isn't going to advertise that fact but if a guy wants it bad enough, he can find out how to do it.

The second K-1 IS a waiver and I don't think you can get another waiver

[BillyB]

The second K-1 IS a waiver and I don't think you can get another waiver

Here's the key words from the links below " If the petitioner has filed two or more K-1 visa petitions at any time in the past, or previously had a K-1 visa petition approved within two years prior to the filing of the current petition, the petitioner must request a waiver. These limitations do not apply to petitioners for a K nonimmigrant visa for an alien spouse (K-3)."


Waiver needed if applying for more than 2 k-1 or applying for 2 within a 2 year period. As long as a guy pumps money into the system when applying for waivers and he's not a criminal, he should be approved for more than 2. If all else fails, marry the woman in her country.


Waiver


IMBRA

[calmissile]

You beat me to it Billy.  Here was my referece.

Q. What if I have applied for a K-1 visa in the past/ have received K-1 approval in the past?

A. If a U.S. citizen has ever “filed petitions for two or more fiancés/fiancées and the previously approved petitions were filed within 2 years,” a new K-1 application can be denied. [I.N.A 214(d) (2) (A)] This restriction may be removed through a waiver, which can be requested through a written explanation, submitted along with the I-129F form. Waivers will be highly scrutinized in certain situations, such as those where: the petitioner has a history of violence; has filed I-129F petitions for different beneficiaries at the same time, obtaining I-129F approvals every few years, and so forth.  - See more at: http://www.hooyou.com/k-1/faq.html#sthash.Ki9Bt0O7.dpuf

http://www.hooyou.com/k-1/faq.html

[TagUrIt898]

[quote author=iceshaft07 link=topic=18437.msg395130#msg395130 date=1424480158

I saw a few comments about how I should date Americans again. Let me be clear on this: I would rather be tossed into a volcano than date another American woman.


[/quote]

Let me just say, I just about lost it when you said that!  Ice shaft I commend you for sharing your story here. There is always an opinion out there that will contradict any and everything you do. Follow your gut (you seem to be doing so anyways) and believe that what you're doing is the right path for you. I wish nothing but the best for you and your future fiancé!

[AC]

I saw a few comments about how I should date Americans again. Let me be clear on this: I would rather be tossed into a volcano than date another American woman.

 

[bartsanchez]

Forget those tours with the sites as you will not meet real girls but only professional daters out to eat and drink on your dime and spend lots of money for not even a kiss.  Went to Odessa in December and luckily met a foreigner living and studying in Odessa.  With his guidance I had the best time as he introduced me and met real girls on my 10 day stay in Odessa.  If anyone is interested email me and I will pass on his name and number there so you can get the real local flavor there and enjoy without getting ripped off.


Bart
bartns713@gmail.com