Risky Business

[BC]

Ambach, the single thing that attracts most of the slings and arrows from the other guys here is your seeming insensitivity to the feelings of the women themselves in the way you write your posts. (I think KenC commented on that a long time ago.) Of course, the only thing that matters in the end is that your own woman doesn't feel that way. And not just in the beginning, but for the long term. Strange as it may seem, the collective conscience of the men here on RWD is greatly disturbed when they think that an AM might (or has) cause any good RW distress or heartbreak, or to be used or treated like an object in any way. This is that yin and yang of "risky business", do everything to be wise, protect yourself and pursue with your eyes open; .. and, at the same time, be a man that the rest of us WMs feel proud of to represent us, and the newbies of the future, to these ladies.

TigerPawsII comes to mind.

[Shadow]

Maxx, if the professor had been divorced already 3 times before, I would not suggest he was knowing a lot about women. 

As for Ambach, he might be in for a wild ride. Or he may have struck gold. Anything is possible, and that is the fun part of it.

[Maxx2]

Maxx, if the professor had been divorced already 3 times before, I would not suggest he was knowing a lot about women. 

You may have a point.... He doesn't seem to know a lot about divorce either. Last I heard he still hadn't divorced her and it's been 2 1/2 years since the breakup. Her case for spousal maintenance is growing as time goes by. Or perhaps he does know a thing or two about divorce. She being able to support herself all these years on her own and maybe the years separated doesn't count as the length of the marriage. 


Maxx

[Maxx2]

When Elvira stood between the door and me and wouldn't let me pass

Below on the Cinderella thread this reminded me of something that happened with me.

I announced that I was leaving for the evening, and maybe permanently.  I was  in my office in the new house.   She stood in the doorway.   I said "You better move because I'm coming through.".  She braced herself for the impact.    I had to push my way out of the office.   She grabbed my shirt and held on for dear life.   I said,  "What the hell are you doing?  You are getting close to getting some rough treatment here."   I pushed her onto the sofa where the sofa bent her kness and she gently settled down onto the sofa, which incidently was a nice blue leather one that I had bought at her demand.    She was still holding on to my shirt and she said,"Yes BEAT ME PLEASE BEAT ME!"   I pried her hands off my ripped shirt and said, "This is crazy."   She was unsuccessfull at getting me to beat her so she started sobbing.  I called her a sick bitch and got in my car and drove away for the night.   The next morning I came back hoping for a truce.  As soon as she saw me she dropped the phone in surprise and I believe she was speaking with her attorney.   She said, " I have a mark where you pushed me and I have been talking to the police."  I said, "Oh really, we'll see about that."  She had a red spot between her breasts on her breastbone where I had placed my hand to push her.   The breastbone is the best place to push someone if you think you have to.

This had been the third violent confrontation.   The first one was initiated by her, the second was a horse apiece.   It just wasn't safe to live with her anymore.

It was on a Tuesday, May 20th 2003. I had gotten a call from Elvira while I was at my business. She seemed upset and asked me to come home right away. She said it was important. 15 minutes later I was at our apartment. She held out a letter from the BCIS and looked at me coldly. I read it and as I got near the bottom of the page she said, "Do you want to break my documents?!?" The letter was a reminder to get her fingerprints done and if not done within a certain number of days (at least 30) her AOS would be nullified. Elvira was really angry and kept up with the accusations. I told her we will do this within a few days and not to worry about it. That was not a specific enough of a answer for her. She wanted me to name a date (she was always in a major hurry to get all her documents done as soon as possible). I didn't know what I could arrange so I kept being vague and told her that we will get it done soon. She kept pressing me. I finally said to her to not worry about it and I had to go back to work. As I started for the door she quickly placed herself between the door and me. I thought "Uh oh! this is how it starts!" My immigration attorney had briefed me about provoked DV the month before. I looked down at her hips and I thought "boy it would be soooo easy to push her aside with my left hand"but I knew better. We talk a bit and I got real soft with my voice. I put my arms around her and held her gently. My cheek was next to her's. After several seconds I felt her hands lightly touch my back. I started very gently rocking side to side like we were dancing. We started turning clockwise and when we had rotated about 180 degrees I reached back with my right hand, opened the door and stepped back into the hall. Her mouth flew open in shock. She started to smile and I could see admiration for me in her eyes. I said to her, "I am going to work now. I'll call you later" and I left.   


Maxx

 

[Ronnie]

Research shows that the female brain naturally releases oxytocin after a 20-second hug. The embrace bonds the huggers and triggers the brain's trust circuits. So Brizendine advises, don't let a guy hug you unless you plan to trust him.

"And if you do," she said, "make sure it lasts 20 seconds."

To read the full article go to...

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/c/a/2006/08/06/MNG3HKAMVO1.DTL

[Maxx2]

Research shows that the female brain naturally releases oxytocin after a 20-second hug. The embrace bonds the huggers and triggers the brain's trust circuits. So Brizendine advises, don't let a guy hug you unless you plan to trust him.

"And if you do," she said, "make sure it lasts 20 seconds."

To read the full article go to...

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/c/a/2006/08/06/MNG3HKAMVO1.DTL

Very interesting Ronnie. It very well have been 20 seconds. I just know I remember wondering when she was going to put her arms around me. Of course she didn't trust me. She must have known I was on to her scam and that is why she thought I wanted to "breaking the documents". Yes I did want that naturally but I didn't dare tell her this of course. It was awful living this lie.


Maxx   

[Maxx2]

Those that have known Maxx over the years know best that he has been through probably one of the worst emotional wringers that can be imagined besides loss of life or major limb(s) or grave illness to those close.  At times I did not think he would survive.

Cause, fault and other aspects have been discussed and explored to death since day1. The details are unimportant, Maxx is a different man today than the one I 'met' many years ago.. that is what is immensely important.  We have never met, probably never will, but somehow if we do meet one day at a gathering, I would have no hesitation in introducing him as a friend.  Even after the many bashings I posted across multiple boards that evoked hostility, I'm confident he would reciprocate today.

A damn good read, although old that is probably as valid today as then and quite pertinent to this thread:

http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=1706.0

The last paragraph is especially fitting Maxx, I think you have now learned this well but a reminder never hurts.
  

Maxx, I'll close out with the same words I posted well over two years ago:


http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=1706.msg35829#msg35829

Cheers and Godspeed!

Thanks BC.


Maxx

[2tallbill]

The point has been made here that pursuing/romancing and marrying a RW is no more risky than with a hometown woman.  I sincerely believe that that notion is absurd!

Please forward to the Understatement of the millennium nomination committee. 

[ML]

Please forward to the Understatement of the millennium nomination committee.

I didn't read the 32 prior pages.
But, I think it depends on how risk is defined or at least what sort of risk might be involved.

Most here know that I do not immediately fall in love with any of the dozens of FSU women that I have met.

But if we consider the risk of falling in love and having one's heart broken . . . then it might be argued that the risk is the same for a hometown gal or a FSU gal.

If we consider the risk of meeting a scammer  . . . then not likely a guy from a small to medium sized USA city is going to meet such.

A gold digger, yes . . . but not like someone who tries to scam you out of significant money; at least before marriage !!  :-)

Scammers abound in the foreign dating world; although I never actually met up with one.  Sure I made initial contact with a very few, but was pretty easy to screen them out quickly.

Wife is calling me for dinner.

[krimster2]

there is some truth in every lie
and some falsehood in every truth

a man's fate, is a man's fate
all of life is but a dream

[2tallbill]

I didn't read the 32 prior pages.
But, I think it depends on how risk is defined or at least what sort of risk might be involved.

Most here know that I do not immediately fall in love with any of the dozens of FSU women that I have met.

But if we consider the risk of falling in love and having one's heart broken . . . then it might be argued that the risk is the same for a hometown gal or a FSU gal.

If we consider the risk of meeting a scammer  . . . then not likely a guy from a small to medium sized USA city is going to meet such.

A gold digger, yes . . . but not like someone who tries to scam you out of significant money; at least before marriage !!  :-)

Scammers abound in the foreign dating world; although I never actually met up with one.  Sure I made initial contact with a very few, but was pretty easy to screen them out quickly.

Wife is calling me for dinner.

There are different levels of scamming. A girl who wants you to take her shopping
for a new cell phone and boots on one side vs a woman who will get married,
preggers, claim abuse, put you in jail, then take your house and all your
money at the other extreme. 

The reason you didn't run across them is because you didn't pursue twenty somethings.
The 40 somethings don't try to use their youth and beauty to get a new pair of earrings.
The 40 somethings want companionship, love and hopefully a long fulfilling relationship
and marriage. Their short term goals might be a nice meal with wine and a roll in the
hay. 

If you dated hot 25 year old girls your experiences would have been totally different.

[2tallbill]

Don't worry too much about trying to explain reason and logic to some folks. There's a classic movie "Cool Hand Luke' where the warden says "Some people you just cant reach, if that's the way he wants it, he gets it".  We're not trying to build a spaceship here but you can be rest assured that a lot more people have failed at this process than have succeeded.

[ML]

There are different levels of scamming. A girl who wants you to take her shopping
for a new cell phone and boots on one side vs a woman who will get married,
preggers, claim abuse, put you in jail, then take your house and all your
money at the other extreme. 

The reason you didn't run across them is because you didn't pursue twenty somethings.
The 40 somethings don't try to use their youth and beauty to get a new pair of earrings.
The 40 somethings want companionship, love and hopefully a long fulfilling relationship
and marriage. Their short term goals might be a nice meal with wine and a roll in the
hay. 

If you dated hot 25 year old girls your experiences would have been totally different.

All good points.  Thanks for posting.

[Trenchcoat]

There are different levels of scamming. A girl who wants you to take her shopping
for a new cell phone and boots on one side vs a woman who will get married,
preggers, claim abuse, put you in jail, then take your house and all your
money at the other extreme. 

The reason you didn't run across them is because you didn't pursue twenty somethings.
The 40 somethings don't try to use their youth and beauty to get a new pair of earrings.
The 40 somethings want companionship, love and hopefully a long fulfilling relationship
and marriage. Their short term goals might be a nice meal with wine and a roll in the
hay. 

If you dated hot 25 year old girls your experiences would have been totally different.

I did, trust me ML the experience is totally different!