red flags

[t walk]

For those that have been there, first sign (red flag) do you just cut her off???

I'm planning my trip so setting up dates with 3 days set for each.
Then move hotels.

One from a smaller city will meet me, but does not want to meet in hotel, I've offer to pay for her own room, but she would rather do a rental. I've trip adviser her city and the hotels listed rent most rooms by the hour, so can kind of see her point.

Other is on two web sites, one speaks English the other  non speaking. She has not yet answered me on 2nd site, figure one has to be fake, and just cut her off, or hope mine is the real one...???
She also after a few letters seemed to change what she liked via her profile, to things I like...

What say you cut them???

My cuts on others have been when I start to hope they are being true. Just so many women but so many scams...

starting to wonder if really worth my time.

thanks

Todd

[Hybrid]

It is worth the time, but only if you actually invest properly.

You are planning a trip yet it seems you barley know these women from what you are saying.

I would correspond with more women and for longer before making any trips.

Get to know them, Skype with them. Go and meet a potential date, not a stranger.

[Gator]

One from a smaller city will meet me, but does not want to meet in hotel...

Never stay in a hotel for the reason that became obvious.  Rent an apartment; negotiate a 3-day deal (75% of weekly rate).  An apartment will give you a better feeling about the culture. 

Other is on two web sites, one speaks English the other  non speaking.  She has not yet answered me on 2nd site, figure one has to be fake, and just cut her off, or hope mine is the real one...???

Well maybe she does not use the second site.  Not a big deal.

She also after a few letters seemed to change what she liked via her profile, to things I like...

At least she read your profile.  Many scammers send same cut&paste regardless of what the man wrote. 

What say you cut them???

No. 

Do not worry about scams.  Simply avoid shopping trips, expensive restaurants, large taxi fares (buses go everywhere), and interpreters (except for maybe a one-hour introduction over tea and a two-hour serious discussion about future plans provided the three days went well).  If the women insist on shopping, terps, etc.  say goodbye and play tourist.  An agency can arrange a quick date, yet remember this is the same agency that introduced you to a Prodater. 

Number One Goal:  Have fun.  If you worry about scams, you will come across as some coy FSB interrogator.  Understand red flags.  A red flag is spending time with a woman and not feeling any chemistry.   Another is not meeting a friend.  If she likes you, a friend is usually introduced to provide her a second opinion.  Also, do not rationalize odd behavior as cultural differences. 

Again, enjoy your trip and the time with pretty, exotic women.

[mendeleyev]

In smaller cities especially, there can be a stigma attached to a lady who meets a man in a hotel. That has the potential to follow her long after you have returned home. To second Gator, rent an apartment. There are so many things you can learn and experience when living in the heart of her world.

Also to second Gator, forget about scams. Just like common sense, like not sending money before you've met, will steer you clear of most scammers. I am of the opinion that there are more guys worrying about scams, than the actual scams themselves.

[BC]

For those that have been there, first sign (red flag) do you just cut her off???

As far as red flags go, at the top of the list 'too good to be true'..  cut her off? almost impossible.

[Steamer]

For those that have been there, first sign (red flag) do you just cut her off???

No. First make sure that the red flag is not just some miscommunication.
English isn't their first language. They will insist that they understand you when they really don't have a clue and are making some crazy statement.

[jone]

Agree with Steamer. 

Most of the first communication you have with a woman from the FSU should be very simple phrases that cannot be mistaken for anything else.  If you try humor, you'll bomb.

Although I did get a pretty good response one time from a lady from Dnepro.  I asked her if she was a rocket scientist, owning to the fact that under the Soviet Union Dnepro was a closed city due to the development of the missile industry in the city.  She thought that I had a cute sense of humor.

[Gator]

If you try humor, you'll bomb.


Although I did get a pretty good response one time from a lady from Dnepro.  I asked her if she was a rocket scientist, owning to the fact that under the Soviet Union Dnepro was a closed city due to the development of the missile industry in the city. 

Years ago I dated a rocket scientist in Kharkiv.  She worked for the Soviet space agency after graduating with her PhD, specifically the team developing mathematical models of the trajectory of ICBMs  targeted at America.    

She bragged about studying calculus for four years.  In America as an engineer I studied calculus for just three semesters before moving on to higher math, so I jokingly asked, "Why four years, did you keep failing?"   No laughter, not even a smile.

[BillyB]

She has not yet answered me on 2nd site, figure one has to be fake, and just cut her off, or hope mine is the real one...???
She also after a few letters seemed to change what she liked via her profile, to things I like...

What say you cut them???

Todd, it's clear you haven't called these ladies on the phone or Skyped with them. Paranoia will destroya. Get on the phone/Skype right away with these ladies. You or the ladies may discover you don't like what you're seeing or hearing and cancel the dates....which is a good thing so you both don't waste each others time. You're paying for their rooms, they should give you their phone number and/or Skype with you before you arrive. If they don't, don't pay for their rooms.

[t walk]

thanks guys

Yes I've talked on phone and skyped with all I plan on meeting, just with the two I have questions.

I leave the first of March and plan is to be there for a month, two weeks Kiev two Odessa.

The first my thing was yes I can understand why she does not want to stay in a hotel, as she see's them they are all rented by the hour. Our plan is she is meeting me at airport and then get a rental for a week in Odessa, her English, is the worst of the women I plan on seeing and we are looking at rentals on-line, but after reading some one's story worry about getting a knock on door from a few big guys...

2nd in question maybe I'll have to wait to see if she will answer me on the 2nd web site. One woman I was in contact with had the same bit on one site she was a nice woman on the other 2 letter and she wanted to talk about sex... same photo's but different women.

Have not run into any asking for money, and I'm not 100% honest with them about the size of my ranch, and none have come right out and asked how much I make, and yes if I move forward with one think then she has a right to know more about my finances.

thanks for the reply's

Todd

[jone]

There are people on here who have connections for rental pads in the various cities that you plan on visiting.  My advice is NEVER allow your intended date to chose a place to rent on your first meeting.  While it most likely is innocent, that is one of the ongoing scams - getting kickbacks from apartment rentals. 

[mendeleyev]

With Jone's good advice, we have not only used www.airbnb.com when traveling, but in times without a full time renter have used them to rent out a unit in Moscow. They have lots of nice apartments for short term rentals in Moscow and many other cities around the world.

(Disclosure: from time to time their ads are featured in the Mendeleyev Journal.)

[cc3]

Reliable apartment rental website that I have used many times in various cities in UA:

http://www.dobovo.com/

[Larry1]

Reliable apartment rental website that I have used many times in various cities in UA:

http://www.dobovo.com/

I've used that apartment rental service too and have been pleased with it.  As a bonus, they had working in their Kiev office the most beautiful girl I've ever seen in Ukraine.  Several months ago I was talking about their office with a friend of mine who used them and she really stood out in his mind too. Unfortunately, he is now in Kiev and has been to their office twice and didn't see her.

[BillyB]

Yes I've talked on phone and skyped with all I plan on meeting, just with the two I have questions.

You've talked with them on phone and Skype but you think one of them is fake because she doesn't answer you on another site? If she's real, she's real. The lady may not be using the other site. Some sites steal photos and info from other sites to increase the available women at their site to gain more customers. She may not even know she's listed on other sites. If you like what you're seeing and hearing from the lady on Skype, don't question her existence, go see her.

[GregfromGa]

Contact Pavel for an apartment in Kiev. I'm guessing maybe $40 a night maybe less now. In the center. When are you leaving?

[OhioGuyRob]

For those that have been there, first sign (red flag) do you just cut her off???

I'm planning my trip so setting up dates with 3 days set for each.
Then move hotels.

One from a smaller city will meet me, but does not want to meet in hotel, I've offer to pay for her own room, but she would rather do a rental. I've trip adviser her city and the hotels listed rent most rooms by the hour, so can kind of see her point.

Other is on two web sites, one speaks English the other  non speaking. She has not yet answered me on 2nd site, figure one has to be fake, and just cut her off, or hope mine is the real one...???
She also after a few letters seemed to change what she liked via her profile, to things I like...

What say you cut them???

My cuts on others have been when I start to hope they are being true. Just so many women but so many scams...

starting to wonder if really worth my time.

thanks

Todd

Never, ever, ever ignore a red flag.... Like at all, ever.


The single biggest problem most men have is the refuse to see reality.  The see what they want and ignore reality.  If you are going to succeed you must never lead with your heart or your wallet.   Be kind but skeptical.  Does she act like a girl who is "into you"


If a girl likes you SHE KISSES YOU.  anything short of that is a girl who is not romantically interested in you.


EE culture is NOT like American culture.   If a girl lists on her profile that she is "christian" it does NOT mean she believes in G-d.  EE culturally are much more open sexually.  This is why I say, if she doesn't want to kiss you she does NOT like you romantically....


Celebrating 11 years with my wife from Ukraine....

[Shadow]

Never, ever, ever ignore a red flag.... Like at all, ever.


The single biggest problem most men have is the refuse to see reality.  The see what they want and ignore reality.  If you are going to succeed you must never lead with your heart or your wallet.   Be kind but skeptical.  Does she act like a girl who is "into you"


If a girl likes you SHE KISSES YOU.  anything short of that is a girl who is not romantically interested in you.


EE culture is NOT like American culture.   If a girl lists on her profile that she is "christian" it does NOT mean she believes in G-d.  EE culturally are much more open sexually.  This is why I say, if she doesn't want to kiss you she does NOT like you romantically....


Celebrating 11 years with my wife from Ukraine....

Actually listing Christian does mean she believes, however the amount of time spent on religion may be minimal.

[Faux Pas]

Never, ever, ever ignore a red flag.... Like at all, ever.


The single biggest problem most men have is the refuse to see reality.  The see what they want and ignore reality.  If you are going to succeed you must never lead with your heart or your wallet.   Be kind but skeptical.  Does she act like a girl who is "into you"


If a girl likes you SHE KISSES YOU.  anything short of that is a girl who is not romantically interested in you.


EE culture is NOT like American culture.   If a girl lists on her profile that she is "christian" it does NOT mean she believes in G-d.  EE culturally are much more open sexually.  This is why I say, if she doesn't want to kiss you she does NOT like you romantically....


Celebrating 11 years with my wife from Ukraine....

Sure the culture is obviously different but, the fact that she is a woman, is not different. Getting past all of the bullshit cultural excuses and other bullshit excuses for failure or success achieves nothing, it is still boy meets girl. She's not looking to escape or run off with the first blue passport that comes along. She needs wining, dining and 69'ing just like her American sisters.

EE (I assume you mean women) are culturally much more open sexually? I disagree. IMHO Sexuality of individual women has no cultural limits or borders.

[ML]

If a girl likes you SHE KISSES YOU.  anything short of that is a girl who is not romantically interested in you.

Kissing should be avoided until AFTER marriage.

[AC]

Actually listing Christian does mean she believes, however the amount of time spent on religion may be minimal.

That's the other thing great about these EE women.  If an AW says she is "Christian" she might be an evangelical whack-job who will listen to all those frauds on TV "preaching" and then begging for donations.

[Boethius]

Or the WW might not be.

[mendeleyev]

Perhaps I am wrong, but I was thinking that listing "Christian" simply means she believes in God and practices only a few times per year. Listing "Orthodox" however, seems to me that she is more convinced of her faith path and roots.

When our daughters were dating, it seemed that was the case. If a young man made it to the courtship stage where he was frequenting our home for dinner and we at some point (when appropriate) asked that question, it seemed that the not-very-actively practicing guys mentioned "Christian" or "I believe in God" as opposed to those who seemed comfortable answering "Orthodox."

The eldest married an American who converted to Orthodoxy prior to their marriage, the middle daughter is comfortable with a "Christian" partner, and the youngest married a boy who identified himself as Orthodox, but in reality struggles as to what he believes. Fortunately, he works with me and we have some interesting conversations about life and faith topics. He is extremely intelligent and I enjoy our interactions.

[AC]

Perhaps I am wrong, but I was thinking that listing "Christian" simply means she believes in God and practices only a few times per year. Listing "Orthodox" however, seems to me that she is more convinced of her faith path and roots.

When our daughters were dating, it seemed that was the case. If a young man made it to the courtship stage where he was frequenting our home for dinner and we at some point (when appropriate) asked that question, it seemed that the not-very-actively practicing guys mentioned "Christian" or "I believe in God" as opposed to those who seemed comfortable answering "Orthodox."

The eldest married an American who converted to Orthodoxy prior to their marriage, the middle daughter is comfortable with a "Christian" partner, and the youngest married a boy who identified himself as Orthodox, but in reality struggles as to what he believes. Fortunately, he works with me and we have some interesting conversations about life and faith topics. He is extremely intelligent and I enjoy our interactions.

 

[Shadow]

Perhaps I am wrong, but I was thinking that listing "Christian" simply means she believes in God and practices only a few times per year. Listing "Orthodox" however, seems to me that she is more convinced of her faith path and roots.

When our daughters were dating, it seemed that was the case. If a young man made it to the courtship stage where he was frequenting our home for dinner and we at some point (when appropriate) asked that question, it seemed that the not-very-actively practicing guys mentioned "Christian" or "I believe in God" as opposed to those who seemed comfortable answering "Orthodox."

The eldest married an American who converted to Orthodoxy prior to their marriage, the middle daughter is comfortable with a "Christian" partner, and the youngest married a boy who identified himself as Orthodox, but in reality struggles as to what he believes. Fortunately, he works with me and we have some interesting conversations about life and faith topics. He is extremely intelligent and I enjoy our interactions.

I agree, though in Russia and Ukraine some American evangelists have found a following, so a whack job is not entirey out of the question.

As for those struggling with their faith, my best advise is to research the concept of religion and its variations.
Any conclusion from that will at least have a solid foundation for the future.