Russian Women Discussion

RWD Discussion Groups => Starting Out => Topic started by: BoozeBaron on September 18, 2018, 03:07:04 PM

Title: Starting Over in 2018
Post by: BoozeBaron on September 18, 2018, 03:07:04 PM
Howdy all -

For those that know me, you know I tend to write fairly long questions and answers (so will try my best to keep this brief for once-yeah right) ... I also have a history here going back to 2004! Some things have been good - a few were not so good but have always landed on my feet - Yes, I've moaned and groaned allot on here at times, I've been chewed out and told off a million times... I do disappear for months (years?) at a time too... but I do kinda 'know' the game and agencies and girls and scams to watch out for etc etc etc (after 14 yrs, I won't claim to know 'everything', which is why I'm still filing this in the noobie section) b/c I've been out on Medical Leave having several spine and neck surgeries which then led to an 'incidental find' during a follow-up scan where they found a tumor on my adrenal glands - so been dealing with that this past year, along with a dodgy back - So obviously no time for 'romance' and actually after my last UA relationship of 19 months, I took a 'break' to kinda reassess if this was even for me or not?? and dated a couple of Brit and AW during that time till I got too sick to even go out locally... Once the surgeries started and then the tumor stuff hit-that was pretty much game over for me and had to pull the plug on anything in the romance dept.
So, that was then - this is now... I'm back on my feet. Or, I'm 98% back - but been away from all this for a total of 5 yrs now (2 yrs were my self-imposed 'reassess time' just to ponder my last relationship and where things went wrong, and then about 32 months of medical junk) which as just said, I've now turned the corner on 98% and think I'm ready to try again - We'll see?  ...
Now, whilst I didn't do anything in the romance dept during all that recovery time - I did have ALLOT of time to think about what I was gonna do once I was back on my feet... Which leads me to today and this post...
I've booked about 4 months overseas (UK/EU/IRE/FSU) and it's part biz - part pleasure ... as I need to close up shop in London that I couldn't do when I was in hospital in America... So have about 30 days there to meet with all my old vendors, clients, friends, banks and the ppl who hold our business leases to close things down permanently (we moved operations back to America after Brexit)- I saw that post and am steering 100 miles clear of that one!!! :)

Grrrr - I'm rambling already... So let me try and cut to the chase...
I'm booking 30 days in Ukraine - Still on the fence as to 'where' just yet?? as it'll be winter by then, and don't really want to do the big city thing simply b/c they've been over run these past 14 yrs ... I am a WOVO TYPE person, but given I leave in 3 1/2 weeks, plus the time in London, I really don't have allot of time to do the "internet introduction" thing like I'd normally do (I'm VERY selective and know exactly what I seek) - Seems NOW that THE issue is, 5 more years have ticked off the odometer of life - and am finding (harshly) that I've broken that magical ugly age barrier now - and the gals that I'd typically have no problem conversing with, now won't give me the time of day (I even went as far to click my 'YEAR" and set it back by 4 years which put me below that magic ugly number and the next day my inbox was overflowing and got swamped with chat requests... But I can't play it that way - Gotta be 100% honest.. - so switched it back - and sure enough the tumbleweeds and crickets immediately came rolling back in yet again ....
I've tried just about every method, agency, website, and words of advice given me both here and in the country I'm in at the time (UA/RU/CZ/POL) and met some fantastic women - and a few squirrely ones along the way too ... But back to the issues of today...
Obviously I'm going thru an 'attitude adjustment' with the added years. But on top of that, the sites I'd typically use (along with the few agencies I once trusted) have either shut down or closed their doors or the women on there - aren't there any longer??? (some of the larger sites, used to have hundreds, if not thousands of women online at any given time - yes some, if not most, may have been "Boris" - but still - they had activity going on 4-5 years ago... Today? Nada ... I even went to one of my old haunts, just to see I still had/have 241 'credits' (to chat, not PPL) yet there's only like 6 girls online and it's 10PM in UA?? Huh? (that's .50cents a 'credit' hanging out there unused) - So scratched that one off the list too... NEXT! :)

So - I went thru the 2017/2018 posts on here to see which sites the 'experienced guys' are recommending these days - and can't say that's changed any - and even a few of those are dead and gone too now... I just logged onto my EM account after a 6 yr absence (never liked that site from day 1 because the ratio was like 1000:1 men to women) and found 6 EOI and letters in my inbox - All weighed more than me and were also older than me - Yikes! - so the 'pool' is obviously allot shallower these days for the pickings given my age (and possibly the politics of Russia?) I haven't read that thread yet... but know there's no love loss in the U.K. when I left there with Putin having gassed a few civilians - and then Trump is a topic I'm not gonna talk about either... but am certain he's created some waves politically with UA/RU? (that's a sincere Q - I'm not looking for a debate nor am I trolling) ... but can only imagine....

So these sites and agencies and my age have all changed ... and now find myself literally back to Square 1 ... WHERE TO BEGIN?  Mamba? I get 45+ y.o. with kids or they're only looking for RU guys (sorry, but the last gal (AW) I dated here before going into hospital, was a Southwest Airline 'air hostess', age 34, with blazing red hair and legs that looked like the cover of the first CARS album for those that are children of the 80's :)  Yes, she was that hot - and we actually got along great for several months - but she works for I.C.E. and we had some disagreements over policy and 'beliefs' and in the end I pulled the plug... Much to her dismay... but such is life... I dunno... Probably my last shot at finding a good AW - but am pretty set in my ways these days and it just wasn't worth the fights and hassles (and they weren't even 'fights' - she has a "Driver A" personality - and I think that's what we bumped heads over the most - as I'm the same... Lock 2 analytical, sensitive ppl that are driven into a padded cell, throw away the key, and they'll probably kill each other before the days end :)
So, all that aside - I could use a little guidance here guys (and gals?) thought I saw a few RW lurking around recently? Either way - Need an online suggestion that nets results and not Boris or 'pay for a date when you arrive' type scenarios... Prefer to get away from Kiev and Odessa this time (this will be my 11th trip I think?) (and the prior 10 were all always to just meet ONE person) - Yes, I had a backup plan - but after watching "90 Day Fiancee" last night and that "2nd fiddle girl" Colombian gal being heart broke by being told the truth that all that he had done up to that point (travel, hotels, resorts, dinners, RING, etc) were NOT originally for her, and she rightfully kicked him to the curb (he's on his 3rd marriage I think? and "falls in love" WAY too fast) - but you know those reality shows - Only the train wrecks make for 'good TV' - but I digress...

I just treat ppl the way I wish to be treated (golden rule eh?) and so if I find out a gal has met 10-20 guys from America or Britain, I'll pass ... as I'm so tired of smoothing things over from the 'sex tourists' or insincere guys that blazed the trail to Ukraine before me... I'm not judging - I'm just sharing that some of us nice guys are left with clean up duty and am growing tired of it... Happens allot more with AW obviously b/c we date more (easily) here vs flying to Europe/FSU - but - I dunno... The other issue I've been pondering is a girls true intentions - Not even an honest agency owner who vets all her clients (both male and female) can truly know what's inside someone's heart (100%) so even that option isn't bullet proof ... but international dating and the language barrier + LDR's, make things tricky as it is... Then add in cultural differences and 'motives' and it's def a minefield if you don't watch your every step...
OK, I'll shuddup for now and land the plane and see what others think and say, if anything? I swear I'm not saying I have all the answers - In fact, I wouldn't be back here begging for help if I did - I'm just saying you can kinda fast forward over the 'don't send money / don't pay for letters' speeches - That much I do know... I need resources on the ground there as I'm flying in solo and am used to doing solo trips - but that's when I know I have someone special waiting on the other end at the airport.- This time, I don't even have that going - and I'm still licking my wounds a bit (both at the heart level and medically speaking) - Again, 98% recovered - But you'll not see me at any discos at 2AM this time.- Allot has changed for me and had to make a few lifestyle adjustments... Been a long road...

Oh, one last admission... I think before - gosh, going all the way back to my 1st Visa in 2003?? - I've never gone over 'lonely' and certainly was never 'desperate'... as I'm fine with where I am in life and who I am as a person/individual and what I've achieved etc etc etc - Except these past 22 months, I have started to get that feeling in the gut like "somethings missing here?" - plus the clock IS ticking... so that's why I booked this trip once I got clearance to fly... I am nowhere near 'desperate' - I could call up SW Air and go that route if all else fails - but as the saying goes, "I'd rather be single and happy, than married and miserable" - Well, I'm def SINGLE now - and do have a yearning to start a new serious relationship after 5 yrs (dating is one thing - being engaged, is another) so I'm not desperate - but with the holidays coming up and the clock ticking I figured it's time to saddle up and try to ride this horse one last time... If it doesn't pan out... Then I'll call it a day and see what America nets me ... So we'll see? Look forward to hearing your thoughts after all this time -

Thanks!!
BB :)
Title: Re: Starting Over in 2018
Post by: JayH on September 18, 2018, 04:22:15 PM
BB- welcome back again !~

Hope your health issues are behind you.

You have made the observation above about change -- and that is  the point I want to make here today.
It is very different scene today compared to a decade ago --or even 5 years ago.
Too many guys here want to hand out specific advice that is well past it's used by date -- so in every case -- be cautious until you understand how current those guys are.
I see threads getting sidetracked all too often.

I note your age comment-and am guessing at your age. Basically I think you just read that right on. In UKR -- in theory your life expectancy is not great - so considered the dreaded word "old". That is an immense hurdle to jump over  if you are still  thinking 25 yo --or even a 35yo !
The key part is if you are healthy ,active,energised like a 40 yo -- then you can overcome anything ! On the other hand -- there are some very good looking 50 yo girls around. Moby here on the forum is involved with one-- he has posted photos and she has a great body that belies her 50ish years.
My Ukrainian ex's mother ( who was younger than me !!) looked more like a not much older sister than my ex and was an extraordinarily beautiful woman .
Personally - I don't feel or behave much different than when I was a 21 yo--  the problem is the mirror provides a dose of reality that makes me feel like crying!
That then becomes a major impediment that should be directing your search now.

I have a few ideas for you -- am I correct in saying you are not too fussed about the $ cost?


Not Ukraine -- but maybe worth a pm?
Moby had a thread somewhere on a couple of decent real life leads.

Also -
http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=21302.msg493226#msg493226


Title: Re: Starting Over in 2018
Post by: BoozeBaron on September 19, 2018, 02:10:33 AM
Hello Jay-
Thanks so VERY much for taking the time to properly digest my lengthy missive - I really appreciate it man... And the way you tell it back to me (along with your numerous observations) let's me know I've conveyed my points accurately to you and everyone here - (and that I'm not  the only one losing my mind over this age thing too!!) - But you've hit the nail squarely on the head bud in every aspect from what I've just read - and this is important for 2 reasons: #1) You definitely do 'get it' - I can clearly see that you understand and maybe relate to the pains I'm currently feeling and battling when I too look in the mirror these days... (hence my comment about having to make an attitude and expectation 'adjustment' deep inside) ... Pretty tough to do when you're used to having free run of the candy store these past 14 years now! :) But my search and ultimate quest has been, and still remains to find 'true love'... something I think that sadly is getting lost these days - because as we've both said, "times are indeed changing" - It only takes 10 mins on Instagram or FB or VK to see that the trust funder/oil kids are popping up all over Russia (and England / America) and so I'm hoping to kinda steer clear of that mess, and the big cities, and try the 'village' approach this time around, with the hopes of finding a gal that's still rooted in family, with good morals, values, and honors tradition...That's a BIG ASK I know... but think she could still be out there? - Won't know till I get there and try eh? I guess I'm basically doing a hard 'reboot' here, and hope to get things going again somewhere overseas if possible... So, fingers crossed, the path will be a clear one...
 Thankfully I was blessed/cursed with this darn 'baby face', and still have all my hair and living in London got me cutting it like all the footballers do ages ago before it ever caught on in the USA - So that gives me a tiny edge and takes a few yrs off my age - Plus it's only just now that I discovered I have a touch of grey that's starting to show that Redkin 'Camo' does a brilliant job of hiding (we're talking 15 strands so pls don't think I'm some comb-over dye job washed up nut case!) I'm just sharing a 'lil secret that my ex gave me as she worked at Toni & Guy in London and is impossible to tell and takes 10 yrs off me - so, that to helps explain why I'm still able to fish in the "30's waters", even here in the USA... (going to someplace public, you don't have to advertise your 'age' above your name like you do online with a 'profile' - So that's what allows me to open doors with the 30 something crowd and get my foot in no problem - Plus all my friends are all mid-30's early 40's and nobody opens with 'How old are you?" ya know? - But now, when you HAVE to post a hard figure and b-day on a website or agency profile page - Yeah, that's the first thing they see - Or worse, they only search from age "XYZ to XYZ" and I don't even make the cut! - So, I dunno guy? I am definitely open to any suggestions as to 'the new ways' and really do appreciate all your feedback on all that as well... I needed a reality check and someone to ping all this off of before venturing out - so your response was both very timely and insightful - not to mention everything said, was also 100% spot on  :clapping:
OK - Time to start wrapping things up - But if I read the tail-end of your post correctly, you mentioned something about a PM and me being open to other ideas outside of UA?? I'm def open to talking offline; either here or via phone sometime (I'm in CO/MST) We even used to have a RWD group of guys here that met up from time to time when Dan was around and more active etc., but again, that was like 2003/4/5 ?? ... over a decade ago now (yikes) and we can't live in the past, can we.... because 'yes', things have def changed!
That said, I do like dating more in Europe (UK/IRE/POL/FR/CZK, etc.) because they don't get as hung up on the whole age thing as much as AW do (obviously) - and up till 5 years ago, man, I felt like I was on top of the world and totally indestructible - 6 neuro surgeries and a bout with cancer later, all that has really put "life" into proper perspective for me now and what's truly important... Family, friends, my faith, relationships - All those are far more important than any job title, new car, big house, or bank account balance - And I think too, that's why my gut (or heart) are crying out so much right now, whereas before, I just took things for granted (and I'm not usually that thick or shallow - because I'm totally not as a person) but I guess that maybe I lived in denial somewhat, simply b/c I was so fortunate to be able to date several awesome young ladies who were in their 20's-30's that fell for me (and I for them) - Plus a 19 month broken engagement kinda stings too - but I took 2 things away from that experience - Now I def know what I seek and desire in a partner; and the whole "its better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all" is actually very true! Painful? Definitely - But I'm a better man now for having been thru all that and having such an amazing relationships... But, I digress...

All that said though - once your body betrays you and your health goes south (even for just 2-3 yrs) that really kicked me in the ass and made me realise what truly is important in life - On the other hand though, I started my last Post off by saying that I was out on medical leave - so for almost 3 yrs now, I've had to kinda limp along on savings and my 401(k) and any investments I've cashed out - Plus I sold my shares in a couple of my companies, so short term, I'm good - but long term, we'll see how that pans out, as by doing so, I've just cut off a couple of my primary revenue streams - But am in the process of rebuilding all that now, and think I'll be good for the next 20-30 yrs ... I'm fortunate though that from like 2011 thru 2015 were banner years for my companies and banked enough to last me probably till I'm pushing up daisies (you'd mentioned costs or finances?? - so that's my round about way of addressing that) Yeah, I can still afford to pack up and trek off to Europe for several months, but can't do it as much as I did before, as I do need to start watching expenses more closely now - Was allot easier when I was living in London, as I could grab a £99 flight and be in PRG or KBP within 2-3 hours ... Now? Now it's a 12 hour journey if I fly direct (1-stop) or 30+ hours if I have to change planes twice - All depends on work and where I end up after I wrap up things in London ... Anyway, the master of tangents just took a hard left there, and trailed down several rabbit holes  :TMI: - My apologies...
I think we were agreeing that getting older kinda sucks...so that's also the reason I wanted to draw a hard line between "urgency" (due to age and health) over pure "desperation", that I do see in others from time to time on here and on TV, which typically end with poor decisions being made or just flat out bad moves b/c your motivations are all wrong - Ironically though, I see it with both males and females alike - That's the only downside of dating someone 30-35ish is their internal body clock is working overtime (I'm speaking about AW/EW mostly now, as most UA/RU women are typically married off before they ever even hit 30) So, that's actually why I parted ways with the last gal I was dating in England who was 32 when we met and 36 by the time it ended ... but she couldn't get down the aisle fast enough and kids were her only concern - I felt like a bank, and sperm donor lol ;D - Kinda sucks the romance outta things, ya know? So all that to say - I have to watch that aspect too as I wade back into the dating pool here ... I've made note of your 40's & 50's comments - and will try to take that onboard more (again, all part of the 'adjustment' I'm going thru ATM) but don't thrash me too hard if I keep gunning for a 35 yr old :)

OK - I've def prattled on for long enough yet again - so will wrap for tonight - I did quickly look at the link you sent and Googled
Krasnoyarsk - Ironically, this (region) was on my list way back in the early days of my first search (2003) and have had many battles with agency mgr's and even women over the pros and cons of RU vs UA women - Again, I feel politics are now probably part of the picture too? As I have several "girl" (comma) "friends" from Russia on Twitter who all meet up whenever F1 racing is on over a weekend - and we'll all talk about various things and state of affairs etc - So I've had a few conversations now about the state of Russia these days with the USA etc - but point was, I've known these ppl for years now, but definitely sensing allot of 'distance' here as of late??? - and will chalk that up to the current administration - or that's my sense of things? - But all that aside, can I get a RU VISA within 3 1/2 weeks? I think it took a month last time even when I FedEx'd everything? So we'll see about that too? - I'd love to hear more about all that - esp if you have some internal working knowledge of the area/region or any contacts there that can assist? - I'm all ears! and look forward to discussing it more, if you're game?? - I couldn't tell if you were referring me off to someone else or offering to share some new info? - Either way, I'm def open to any and all suggestions... Fire away! and feel free to DM/PM me any time.
OK, once again, I appreciate your time and feedback and your willingness to help - it means allot - Plus I actually feel much better now getting all this off my chest  :D - Staring at a hospital ceiling (on and off) these past few years has pretty much done my head in - and within my social and work circles, there really aren't all that many people that I can discuss this topic with these days (they freak whenever I just go to England - You can only imagine the looks on their faces when I show them pix of UA and such!) - And forget 'family' (if you hadn't noticed my travel dates) - I intentionally booked outta here so I'd be overseas for both Thanksgiving and Christmas - as I actually have more friends over there that I'd rather hang with, than I do here for the holidays (plus they don't celebrate Thanksgiving obviously in ENG) :) I just picked up some sporting event tickets as I plan on going to the Jaguars game at Wembley, along with a Chelsea v Manchester match and if any Rugby is going on then, that'd be ace, as that's my first love :) - Then will be spending New Years Eve either in Paris under the tower or if I do manage to connect with someone nice, hopefully be spending time with them over the holidays... All TBD!! - I have 120 days to arrange things as I please - so - everything really just depends on how far I can get (making arrangements with someone) online upfront - and it now sounds like I should research the RU VISA option too and if I can flip that in time or not? (BTW, with Putin claiming Crimea back, do you need a visa to cross the border into Crimea now? I only ask b/c I have a few contacts in Crimea around Feodosiya, Simferopol and Alushta that may be helpful - but those are kinda "Plan Z" and a last resort) ... plus, it'll be the dead of winter then and it's not easy to travel Crimean then - but thought I'd ask since I have your ear here :)

I can't say "thanks" enough - But truly do need to wrap for now - Sincerely appreciate all your feedback and look forward to discussing your other ideas more too - Thanks Jay -
Cheers -

BB  8)
Title: Re: Starting Over in 2018
Post by: BoozeBaron on September 19, 2018, 02:32:54 AM
PS: After Googling that, I found this article first (was looking for any agencies in the area) and this popped up - I guess geographically speaking, it makes sense...

http://siberiantimes.com/other/others/features/f0261-weve-come-for-your-women-chinese-men-seek-siberian-brides/
Title: Re: Starting Over in 2018
Post by: SteveInBoston on September 19, 2018, 09:32:02 AM
I was in a somewhat similar situation at the beginning of this year, but for me it was 10+ years of being single.  I was good health-wise but was very out of shape and feeling the clock.

So I got back into shape and tried a few sites, including a couple of ppc sites (Dreamsingles, Charmdate - stay away...).  The one that worked for me was dmnotify. 

Another decent one seemed to be RussianCupid and it's sister site UkraineDate.  I noticed some of the same women on both sites, so just pick one.  I guess UkraineDate if you don't get your visa in time.

All three of the above are pay once membership sites, I think $50-100 for 3 months, or $30 for 1 month?

I payed for 3 months and found my match (hopefully - things going great - fingers crossed), so I didn't have to renew. 

I am in my late 40's and contacted women between 30-45.  After a month I had regular communications with 4 women, 3 from Russia and 1 from Ukraine, aged 33 - 42. 

I got a 3 yr tourist visa for Russian and planned to visit Ms Tomsk, a 33 yr old single mother.  But after another month of daily communication I discovered there were some compatibility issues (no concerns with being scammed or insincerity - just differences in outlook) and cancelled that trip.  Then I made plans to visit Ms Ukraine, who was 39.  That trip took place and went much better than expected, and she is the one I am with now.

Good luck on your search and your trip(s). 
Title: Re: Starting Over in 2018
Post by: ML on September 19, 2018, 01:27:05 PM
Good news for OP is that the best sex partners are gals 35 to 50ish.

Can he attract and keep one of them?  Don't know.
Many of them will accept a 10-20 year age gap; but not all of them, so no guarantees.
A lot would depend on how the guy looked and acted in the physical sense.  i.e. Does he have a 'spring in his step' or sort of drags around.
His interest in and ability with sex will be important to many of the gals in this age range, but not all of them.
Money will be very important; even as most of the FSU gals don't really expect too much.
But, aside from just having another person to take care of as with a local wife, there are extra  tens of thousands of dollars required to get the foreign wife all the way from Fiancee visa through to USA citizenship.
The fees to USCIS really add up for the various stages, then there can be the schooling, cars, extra insurance, trips back home, etc.
This can easily be $10,000 for government fees, plus another $30-50,000 over 5-10 years for  the other items.
A huge difference money wise relates to the job skills of the woman.
If an accountant, college professor in a demand subject already possessing PhD (but not school teachers because the licensing requirements are a killer), laboratory technician, nurses aid, beauty salon gal, etc., can be found this will make tens of thousands of dollars difference compared to most who won't be able to provide any financial assistance to the family.
And, depending on what level of gal needed for your social life and day to day conversations, some of best can be the gals that are willing to and can work as cleaners.  Hard and fast workers in that area can pull in $40,000 plus per year; and some have been known to eventually have their own businesses employing other gals, and bring in $100,000 plus per year.
Futher note:  MDs, Registered Nurses, and school teachers are good choices . . . but only for the long run and if you have an extra $40-100,000 up front to get them through several years of re-certification.  Of course the divorce that could come just as their pay-off time arrives would be a killer.

If an older guy can pass the physical stamina and money tests that I refer to above; he will have great opportunity in FSU.  Not as much opportunity as guys 35-50, but still he can trade up compared to what he could attract in USA.

It is unlikely that a gal with the body of Moby's gal can be found in the 50+ range (she is a definite outlier); but there will be many that can beat 90% of the 50+ women in USA.

Just how to do this is a controversial subject here as in the WMVM vs WOVO scenarios.
However, if OP is going to be in FSU for a month of so, the WOVO alternative is out the window.

My advice:  Sign up for 5 or more of the dating websites that have monthly memberships for unlimited contact with all the gals.  Then, it will all depend on your writing ability, chit chat ability, and charm ability when you actually spend time with them.

Best of luck.
Title: Re: Starting Over in 2018
Post by: JayH on September 19, 2018, 04:24:17 PM
We have some decent responses here ! :clapping:

Steve -- you make some really good points . I have to say this -- great that you got your act together and got fit & healthy -- these are things that should be prioritised in extreme serious way for guys that want to be "serious".  ML touches on some of the reasons in the next post ! :)
Also note -- being in your late 40's  is a prime time to be looking ( in my opinion)  and it should be all 100% upside --IF YOU ARE THE RIGHT GUY !
It is also fairly different to the problem the OP is facing right now.

BTW was Tomsk girl a Juliya?


ML --  covers many good points --

--Good news for OP is that the best sex partners are gals 35 to 50ish.

Can he attract and keep one of them?  Don't know.
Many of them will accept a 10-20 year age gap; but not all of them, so no guarantees.
A lot would depend on how the guy looked and acted in the physical sense.  i.e. Does he have a 'spring in his step' or sort of drags around.
His interest in and ability with sex will be important to many of the gals in this age range, but not all of them.
Money will be very important; even as most of the FSU gals don't really expect too much.



If an older guy can pass the physical stamina and money tests that I refer to above; he will have great opportunity in FSU.  Not as much opportunity as guys 35-50, but still he can trade up compared to what he could attract in USA.

It is unlikely that a gal with the body of Moby's gal can be found in the 50+ range (she is a definite outlier); but there will be many that can beat 90% of the 50+ women in USA.


Some of the points made support my earlier comments .
There are some very very good looking women over 35 yo -- even at 50 yo-- I think about 10% are still pretty damn good !

  ML touches on the  money issue -- without telling tales out of school -- this OP is no Trenchcoat -- he has the resources to do this properly -- and  will  be able to satisfy the FSUW financial hurdle --plus -- has has the resources and  time to do it properly.So --he is not theorising here-he is looking for help in the ways and means to actually do  this.


Title: Re: Starting Over in 2018
Post by: SANDRO43 on September 19, 2018, 06:26:52 PM
Another decent one seemed to be RussianCupid and it's sister site UkraineDate.  I noticed some of the same women on both sites, so just pick one. I guess UkraineDate if you don't get your visa in time. All three of the above are pay once membership sites, I think $50-100 for 3 months, or $30 for 1 month?
No need to pay immediately at UkraineDate, it's free to join ;).

This will allow you to browse the profiles of women there and gauge its potential. Also to evaluate the site: if as a free member you are daily deluged with letters - which you'll have to pay in order to read - it might be better to look elsewhere ::).
Title: Re: Starting Over in 2018
Post by: BillyB on September 19, 2018, 06:57:53 PM

Welcome back BoozeBaron. You say you're WOVO but you're also extremely picky. Why not date many women? Greater chance you'll find that gem out of a bunch than out of one.
Title: Re: Starting Over in 2018
Post by: SteveInBoston on September 20, 2018, 03:34:14 AM
No need to pay immediately at UkraineDate, it's free to join ;).

This will allow you to browse the profiles of women there and gauge its potential. Also to evaluate the site: if as a free member you are daily deluged with letters - which you'll have to pay in order to read - it might be better to look elsewhere ::).

Unless it has changed it is free to read any letters sent to you, and free to respond, but you have to pay for membership to be able to initiate contact, other than "liking" someone.

Title: Re: Starting Over in 2018
Post by: Nightwish on September 20, 2018, 08:35:22 AM
Unless it has changed it is free to read any letters sent to you, and free to respond, but you have to pay for membership to be able to initiate contact, other than "liking" someone.
No you can look at profiles, send "likes" and such, but not read any letters sent to you and the ladies can't read yours, you can however send them letters but they appears as blurred for the receiver.

One part must be a paying member to be able to read the letters- there is actually a selection of few ladies that are paying members also.


Title: Re: Starting Over in 2018
Post by: msmob on September 20, 2018, 09:07:25 AM

It is unlikely that a gal with the body of Moby's gal can be found in the 50+ range (she is a definite outlier); but there will be many that can beat 90% of the 50+ women in USA.

@ ML - you just have to be patient and know where to look ..;)

I know 3 ladies in their fifties who are 'outliers' and one in their 50th year who I have dated / tried to date  ..ALL are still single AFAIK...!

A total waste ..

For defo, two of 'em have had b/f's who were twenty plus years younger and dumped them ..  they all work out and aren't muscle-bound - which is a huge turn off to this poster, anyway

THIS lady is FIFTY-FOUR years old..   

(http://farm2.staticflickr.com/1805/43115033771_4819e28c7e.jpg)
Title: Re: Starting Over in 2018
Post by: rwd123 on September 20, 2018, 11:21:29 PM
Experiences will differ based on age, looks, financial status, language ability, personality, partner preferences, relationship history/status/kids, marketing ability (profile, comms) etc. So my reflections will not reflect the experience of others. I have made several trips to the FSU for business and personal reasons this year with (plenty of) dating on the side. I don't have a nervous twang for marriage but keeping the door open for meeting that special devushka. One could say I am offering a test drive for those who do not suffer from motion sickness!

On websites/apps,

Internet dating sucks. Really sucks. Did I say it sucks? well yeah, it sucks. If you live in country things may suck slightly less, but don't bet on it. Had more bang for buck going to nightspots and in daily life. I've tried more sites/apps than you can poke a stick at. There is no secret oasis but at the same time there can be one or two girls on almost any site where there is mutual interest. That special girl could have signed up to any site, needles and haystacks. If I had to recommend a top three:

Elena's Models - Not a huge amount of mutual interest but seems to be the most reliable site. Just don't expect dozens upon dozens of women falling to their knees.

Badoo - It is essentially the Tinder of the FSU but better (Tinder is a time waster). A mixed bag but deep dating pool and has some interesting location-based features. Use paid services, they are not too expensive.

Russian Cupid - Not necessarily an advocate, lots of time wasters and scammers (easy to spot) but there are genuine women. It's more geared to FSUW looking for western men. Get a subscription; I think this is better than its sister site Ukraine Date even if you're in Ukraine.

I cannot echo strongly enough, there's no magical site. You could find your special woman on any site/app or come up completely empty. Even the ones I short-listed have plenty of very flaky girls.

On age difference,

Younger girls prefer maximum 3-5 years; around 30 it's closer to 5-10 years. As you get into older ages it can expand further. But it depends on the individual. Some regardless of age don't want a big gap, others have no problem with 15-20 year difference. I'm at an age where some women really like my age, others think I'm too old. It comes down to personal preferences.

On single mothers,

Little known fact that MILF is derived from the slavic word милфь. I get the impression that if you're in country it's like shooting fish in a barrel*, but few single mothers online were interested in me. But they do diverge in their 30s and many by late 30s are no longer in shape and look really old. Awful diet plus lack of winter exercise. Again, it comes down to individuals - but collectively much better than in the west.

*FSUM in their 40s are likely to be either a) married, b) chasing much younger women or not serious, c) in really bad shape, or d) alcoholics. So if you're not totally disgusting the 35+ age bracket is a massive dating pool.


A handy rule of thumb:
- A girl asks for your WhatsApp, she's probably wants to meet
- A girl gives you her WhatsApp after you ask, she maybe wants to meet
- A girl doesn't give you her WhatsApp after you ask, she's not interested

Try to get to instagram or WhatsApp/Viber quickly but build some rapport first. Two girls asked me for Facebook, many use VK (not so much in Ukraine) but don't use it as a primary communication tool. It's an Instagram/WhatsApp world these days not email - for older women they may still prefer email.

My impression is that the longer you can stay in country, your odds of finding a wife will rise exponentially. Youth is not so important but you do need good health/fitness, money and time. If you do then odds will rise. This is assuming you're not a donkey's ass; it doesn't hurt to have a donkey's schlong!
Title: Re: Starting Over in 2018
Post by: msmob on September 21, 2018, 12:12:32 AM
it doesn't hurt to have a donkey's schlong!

Not being THAT well blessed has never been an issue for me - nor do I have a tongue like Mr G Simmons,  from Kiss ;)

Title: Re: Starting Over in 2018
Post by: ML on September 21, 2018, 08:55:41 PM
Experiences will differ based on age, looks, financial status, language ability, personality, partner preferences, relationship history/status/kids, marketing ability (profile, comms) etc. So my reflections will not reflect the experience of others. I have made several trips to the FSU for business and personal reasons this year with (plenty of) dating on the side. I don't have a nervous twang for marriage but keeping the door open for meeting that special devushka. One could say I am offering a test drive for those who do not suffer from motion sickness!

On websites/apps,

Internet dating sucks. Really sucks. Did I say it sucks? well yeah, it sucks. If you live in country things may suck slightly less, but don't bet on it. Had more bang for buck going to nightspots and in daily life. I've tried more sites/apps than you can poke a stick at. There is no secret oasis but at the same time there can be one or two girls on almost any site where there is mutual interest. That special girl could have signed up to any site, needles and haystacks. If I had to recommend a top three:

Elena's Models - Not a huge amount of mutual interest but seems to be the most reliable site. Just don't expect dozens upon dozens of women falling to their knees.

Badoo - It is essentially the Tinder of the FSU but better (Tinder is a time waster). A mixed bag but deep dating pool and has some interesting location-based features. Use paid services, they are not too expensive.

Russian Cupid - Not necessarily an advocate, lots of time wasters and scammers (easy to spot) but there are genuine women. It's more geared to FSUW looking for western men. Get a subscription; I think this is better than its sister site Ukraine Date even if you're in Ukraine.

I cannot echo strongly enough, there's no magical site. You could find your special woman on any site/app or come up completely empty. Even the ones I short-listed have plenty of very flaky girls.

On age difference,

Younger girls prefer maximum 3-5 years; around 30 it's closer to 5-10 years. As you get into older ages it can expand further. But it depends on the individual. Some regardless of age don't want a big gap, others have no problem with 15-20 year difference. I'm at an age where some women really like my age, others think I'm too old. It comes down to personal preferences.

On single mothers,

Little known fact that MILF is derived from the slavic word милфь. I get the impression that if you're in country it's like shooting fish in a barrel*, but few single mothers online were interested in me. But they do diverge in their 30s and many by late 30s are no longer in shape and look really old. Awful diet plus lack of winter exercise. Again, it comes down to individuals - but collectively much better than in the west.

*FSUM in their 40s are likely to be either a) married, b) chasing much younger women or not serious, c) in really bad shape, or d) alcoholics. So if you're not totally disgusting the 35+ age bracket is a massive dating pool.


A handy rule of thumb:
- A girl asks for your WhatsApp, she's probably wants to meet
- A girl gives you her WhatsApp after you ask, she maybe wants to meet
- A girl doesn't give you her WhatsApp after you ask, she's not interested

Try to get to instagram or WhatsApp/Viber quickly but build some rapport first. Two girls asked me for Facebook, many use VK (not so much in Ukraine) but don't use it as a primary communication tool. It's an Instagram/WhatsApp world these days not email - for older women they may still prefer email.

My impression is that the longer you can stay in country, your odds of finding a wife will rise exponentially. Youth is not so important but you do need good health/fitness, money and time. If you do then odds will rise. This is assuming you're not a donkey's ass; it doesn't hurt to have a donkey's schlong!

RWD, please put the appropriate parts of your excellent post over in the Pursuing FSUW 101 thread.

http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=14615.0
Title: Re: Starting Over in 2018
Post by: BoozeBaron on September 26, 2018, 02:33:07 AM
Hey all -

Well JayH, you did warn me that I'd get a variety of responses and advice! Wow - I think we definitely have the entire gamut covered here - Thanks to those that offered up some good advice - Cheers.

First off actually, my apologies for being offline the past several days and for not responding sooner (This is the OP for those with ADD:)) ... and I've just read thru everyone's posts, thoughts, ideas and recommendations...

So let me wade into familiar waters first - Hello again to JayH, BillyB and Santros - We literally have known each other and discussed 100's of topics for over 15 years now... Amazing...!? Baku was my last chat with Santros - and BillyB was engaged I think? But heard things 'changed' - but we'll get into that another day...

JayH - Thanks for keeping the fires going whilst I was away and for your continued support AND for also breaking it down for others that didn't read my entire original post ... I'm def not here to argue, troll, or claim that I know it all or that "I'm right/You're wrong"... Simply put, as already said, things have def changed in the past 5-10 yrs in UA/RU and I'm here trying to get up to speed with the latest and what works 'best' and what's a waste of time? - The WhatsApp/VK/Badoo/IG comment is proof of the 'new age' we're now living in - and is advice well-taken... (I did mention IG in my OP) - Anyway, I don't personally like some of those apps - but whatever works eh? Also @JayH; I didn't catch that you were 'down under' before - for some reason thought you were in the USA? But as an Kiwi/American expat, we have allot to catch up on sometime outside of all this skirt chasing stuff :) as I spent several years in AKL with a Kiwi gal there, but then we split, and hopped to Melbourne and eventually landed on the Gold Coast before a death in the family brought me back to the States. I can honestly say those were THE best 9-10 years of my life and so wish I'd stayed... But got guilted into returning and once you're back - it's tough to return, as moving 9,000 miles isn't an easy task... But that said, am opening a new office in CHCH as we just struck a sponsorship deal with the AB's and a local mfg there - and have a lot of big plans going on right now - I love the S. Island (NZ obvsly) but also Oz is near and dear to me as well... All that to say, I am trying to steer this deal back towards AKL, as I have a rental unit there for 16 yrs now and it's just easier to go back there vs. buying something new in CHCH - so we'll see! But just wanted to acknowledge that and apologise for not catching that location fact before when I first responded to you; as I threw allot of "American" references at you (which also would apply to Oz as well, but felt / thought I was talking to a fellow yank) so again, apologies for that....

RWD raised the most constructive advice that I've read here thus far - and look forward to digging into that more with you over time if you're game? - Thanks.

Now, for the others I really do not know - I can't recall if we've ever discussed things before except one - @ML - I know he's not a fan of my lengthy missives - and we are direct opposites when it comes to pretty much every aspect of finding your soulmate overseas... Based on the comments I just read, I don't think you understood, or read my entire (lengthy) posts? (and I admit, it was allot to throw out as an opener) - Plus I'm the king of 'scan reading' ... but I did address 90% of your 'advice and warnings' already in that post (or in my follow-ups with JayH) and after doing this off and on for 14 years now, and being a RWD member AND moderator for 15+ years and sitting down with the "Colorado Group" of guys back in the early 2000's to discuss many of these things - I couldn't help but feel my BP rise a bit when you started casting some assumptions my way when I'd already addressed them - or - obviously I'm very familiar with the amount of 'bank' needed to do all this, and the pains and patience required from both sides to make it from there to here all in one piece ... I also think some of your opinions are entirely incorrect (when applied to me and my situation) and if you're looking for a serious lifelong partner overseas. Having spent the past 6 years (less the medical issues mentioned) in the UK/EU - I've flown to pretty much every country in the EU for biz and pleasure, but am NOT a 'sex pest' like some (am not saying that's you either - but you put some advice or inferences out there that kinda made me feel you were casting me in that mold? - and you couldn't be further from the mark) - So all I'm doing is 'clarifying' things for ya here - OK? Again, not looking for an argument or a debate, nor am I claiming your way is 'wrong' - I am saying though, that I don't do or seek some of the things that you mentioned, and guess after making myself open and vulnerable on here - I took a tiny bit of offense with that... But you don't know me - and I don't know you... and for 90% of the average Joe's out there - your advice would probably apply; if that's what I was seeking, or if that was my approach to international dating - but it's just not ... I'm tempted to delete all this b/c I'm really not looking to lock horns or start a debate, but at the same time, JayH has already done a stellar job of correcting some of your assumptions or assertions - (and I'm forever grateful for that mate - cheers) ... So guess I just wanted you to hear it direct from the horses mouth vs. hearsay... and we'll just draw a line under everything - and move forward from here if you're cool with that? Hope so... Peace.

Sorry, but even after 15 years, I still don't know how to do the whole "multi post" thingy works on here? - as I'd love to take everyone's thoughts and comments and reply to each and every one made - but I let this one go too long this past week, and at 2AM I simply can't tackle 20 'answers' right now... So let me thumb back thru all this again as there were a couple of other Q's and Comments made that I think merit an answer and possibly further discussion if we can all agree that I'm simply asking for some advice - not judgement - Nor am I here to pass judgement .... "Live and let live" is my motto :) and God, life is far too short now to waste time battling with folk on the internet ... So I'll make some notes and try to post more a bit later about my being 'selective' and some of the dating sites etc..

Oh, once last thing - Actually, more of an update - I've shuffled my schedule around a bit today, and think I'm going to put UA/EE into the middle of my months there now as most UK business close up over Christmas and Boxing Day and New Years .... But still going to Monaco and Paris for NY&NYE and may try to squeeze some skiing in the CH Alps in too in JAN/FEB before heading back? Last trip to UA I was there on Halloween when I met my then-fiancee (who was a carbon copy of Taylor Swift (actually, better looking) and we were together for 19 months - So that whole "hold them/keep them" thing... Yeah, not really an issue for me - And again, I can date in America a 30 something no issue and have done so - One was Ms. Michigan (literally) most were flight attendants... but I'm looking more for the family/traditional aspects that used to be prevalent in the UA/RU - Now? Now I think b/c of the Internet and the oil money from RU - and some other economical factors, those rules have changed ... I used to office in Prague for 4 years and met some amazing women, but they all want to be in NYC and are very 'western' now - Even Belarus and countries surrounding that area are very western... I recall one flight from PRG-LON-DEN back home when I was like 38 and sat next to a 21-25 yr old Romanian gal - We had 26 hours together of flight time - and talk about getting shot down within the first 10 mins!? lol :) - Ouch ... So that was 10 or so yrs ago when we used to have pretty much pick of the litter - so yes, things def have changed - and that's what I'm trying to get educated on here again, ASAP.  Worst case, I have a nice break and change of scenery and meet some new people - Never a shortage of expats that I run into and always make loads of new male friends when I travel over there - Anyway - I'm rambling again... Sorry... I am trying to book my flat(s) right now - and my 3 options are Kiev, Odessa, and Nik - and I'm leaning towards Nik simply b/c of the size and know it's (was once?) good fishing there... I've been to Odessa so many times now, part of me likes that b/c I know my way around and places to take someone on a date and things to do etc - (as well as what to avoid) but have a few friends in Nik too that may be able to assist - so I'm giving that some consideration as well... I already said I don't wanna do the 'big city' thing - but do need a 'home base' to operate from then venture out some to smaller towns - My best friends wife is from the L'viv area (even out further into the mtn region where it's literally horse and cart!) but nowadays in L'viv? My Benz and Rover would fit in no problem there - Just more proof that UA is on the rebound economically ... My last gal was from Kremenchuk and so know that area and Poltava etc fairly well - but not exactly where I'd wish to spend Christmas if I'm there in JAN - I dunno... Any suggestions regarding that given those 3 options? I'm also gonna go for 6 weeks now to UA vs. the original 4 - so everyone above who was talking about internet sites (which I did def ask about) but are there any credible agencies left say in Nik or Odessa where I can go thru their Database and see if any are worth meeting up with?? I really wanna steer clear of Kiev - but flight wise and flats and a large population to choose from - I dunno - Pros and cons to that...

I'm just thinking out loud here - but also starting to lock in hard dates and plans ... So we'll see? Oh - I did check on the RU visa, and can't get that before I leave now - but that's OK - I was prepping for UA anyway - but did (do) wanna check out the areas JayH mentioned - Next trip maybe? I did ask about Crimea and visas - Do you need one now that Putin planted his flag down there?

Lastly, if anyond PM'd/DM'd me I've yet to get to any of that - so please forgive me for not responding yet... Been a crazy week!!

I do sincerely appreciate everyone's help, advice and feedback and will try to catch up more here soon.

Cheers!

B.B.

Peace 
Title: Re: Starting Over in 2018
Post by: MarinaSirena on September 26, 2018, 05:40:30 AM
i dont think that i can give you some useful tips..
Actually JayH and rwd123 ve told the most important things already.

I just wanted to say that its a big pleasure to read you)
Baron) (is it aristocratic title or just nickname?)))
so beautiful posh lazy narrtions..
Like its not a forum about fsu but elite golf mens club. And golf is just a reason to meet old friends, to dress white collar and to start a discussion about old times and politics)))
Probably RW are  just a reason for RWD too...) :D
Sometimes the path is more important and fascinatingly than distanation)))

Wish you good luck in your search and on your life-way)

Just about social network and all these things. I think that everything works! if you use it correctly.
VK/IG... Ladies 45+ use odnokassniki.ru as well)))
Title: Re: Starting Over in 2018
Post by: Trenchcoat on September 26, 2018, 12:41:05 PM
Hi BB I am the great Trenchy :D

I think you make a good point in your OP about the motivation of girls seeking a WM. I think it stands to reason they all want something and despite what MOB sites say I find that for few a baby is the priority. I think they are there because they view WM as being able to provide what they want. Aside from scammers here I am talking - lifestyle, comfort, survival, retirement/old age concerns, education, career, passport, money, being able to get/buy what they want.

I think in general FSU attracts a certain type of woman and they are probably interested in one or some of the above. It's not a negative as such though could be viewed as by some. I think that not until you meet a FSW that you have chemistry with does the original motive for her going on an International dating site become secondary to actually wanting to be with you. Until then I think that nearly all FSW put themselves on International dating site with their own agenda in mind. After all they have no met the love of their life so there is little else to go by. Otherwise they would just use local dating sites.

I think that you could go for women in their thirties. Women with children are on the whole I think less likely to be up for playing games. Their reason for International dating is usually to provide for their kid, in that if the guy has the resources and the wish then she may be family oriented enough to have a kid with you if that is what you want. I think she is less likely to have the ambitions of the above or be ambitious for herself at all. She's not likely to want to go it alone in a western country where she knows nothing/little of the country with a kid. To my mind she is not going to want to chance it unless desperate - i.e you get on so badly with each other all/most of the time.

The other thought is to look for a Filipino or Thai girl. They apparently are less fussed about age and more fussed about living in comfort rather than poverty.

I think the key though is finding a girl there is chemistry with. Then the rest is not such a problem, I am still trying on this at the moment. After a bit of work finding a genuine girl to communicate with is not such a problem. Finding one with which there is chemistry can be, but if I lived out there perhaps it would be easier.

I think you may need to give some in your search criteria or work on the way you put yourself across in terms of fitness, dressing well, etc in your profile. Make sure you smile in your photos and wear a decent shirt etc.

Online is difficult as I found that you can't tell chemistry from a photo profile. So you need to work on your online appeal, adjust your criteria for the women you will accept. Other than that is to take your search offline and try and meet with FSW in person in the FSU.
Title: Re: Starting Over in 2018
Post by: ML on September 26, 2018, 02:45:24 PM
The other thought is to look for a Filipino or Thai girl.

Some points on those gals.

1) They are going to be very short.  This is OK for guys up to say 5 foot 6 inches, but above that you get some pretty silly looking couples.

2) The Thai gals are going to have an Oriental outlook on everything, which is quite different than most of the guys here.   Could be that the two outlooks will just never mesh, no matter the length of time.

3) The outlook of Filipino gals won't, in general, be so different from most guys here.

4) The Filipino gals will virtually all be Christians, whereas the Thai gals won't be.  That can be a concern.

5) The Filipino gals will mostly be obsessively attached to their relatives.  The level of financial support they will expect the guy to provide to their family will make that factor for FSU gals pale in comparison.  Not just parents and siblings, but cousins, aunts, uncles, close neighbors, etc.

6) Some think that these gals will be more meek compared to FSU gals.  That may be true, but they might make up for it by readily going into the 'silent mode' until they get their way.
Title: Re: Starting Over in 2018
Post by: GQBlues on September 26, 2018, 05:03:25 PM
My mumski used to tell me she'd be okay with anyone I marry and to just make sure (she had hoped) I never marry a Filipina. As a Filipino, I agree with her. A touch too domineering for me. Yup, just like mumski.


I'm not saying there's anything wrong with Filipina women as I know plenty of men in SoCal (expats/Asian, caucasian, blacks, hispanics, etc..) who are elated to be married to one. Common word used is 'amazing'.
Title: Re: Starting Over in 2018
Post by: DaveNY on September 26, 2018, 06:52:57 PM
Some points on those gals.

1) They are going to be very short.  This is OK for guys up to say 5 foot 6 inches, but above that you get some pretty silly looking couples.

2) The Thai gals are going to have an Oriental outlook on everything, which is quite different than most of the guys here.   Could be that the two outlooks will just never mesh, no matter the length of time.

3) The outlook of Filipino gals won't, in general, be so different from most guys here.

4) The Filipino gals will virtually all be Christians, whereas the Thai gals won't be.  That can be a concern.

5) The Filipino gals will mostly be obsessively attached to their relatives.  The level of financial support they will expect the guy to provide to their family will make that factor for FSU gals pale in comparison.  Not just parents and siblings, but cousins, aunts, uncles, close neighbors, etc.

6) Some think that these gals will be more meek compared to FSU gals.  That may be true, but they might make up for it by readily going into the 'silent mode' until they get their way.

Another point in favor of Filipino girls is that the educated women will be fluent or close to it in English. Most Thai or Russian women won't be so well versed in English.
Title: Re: Starting Over in 2018
Post by: JohnDearGreen on September 26, 2018, 07:45:21 PM

...I just treat ppl the way I wish to be treated (golden rule eh?) and so if I find out a gal has met 10-20 guys from America or Britain, I'll pass ... as I'm so tired of smoothing things over from the 'sex tourists' or insincere guys that blazed the trail to Ukraine before me... I'm not judging - I'm just sharing that some of us nice guys are left with clean up duty and am growing tired of it...
Just curious if you think the RW feel the same way about men who have met 10-20 ladies?
Many might prefer a newbie also.
Title: Re: Starting Over in 2018
Post by: msmob on September 26, 2018, 09:26:20 PM
Another point in favor of Filipino girls is that the educated women will be fluent or close to it in English. Most Thai or Russian women won't be so well versed in English.

'Ri-ight' ...another DaveNY 'factoid' ..  You clearly go to Thailand 'a lot' ... 

Hint - not my experience of educated Thai people - in general
Title: Re: Starting Over in 2018
Post by: GenMish on September 27, 2018, 08:32:19 AM
Thailand
I will just add, Thailand has what is called a 'Sin Sod,' its like a dowry. Currently the number is around 3 to 5 thousand USD. However, I personally know of two people with Thai wives. Both couples now live in Thailand. One did not pay Sin Sod because her parents had already passed. The second paid a smaller Sin Sod because his wife was previously married. From what I understand, Thai women tend to want to stay in Thailand and have their new husbands renovate a family house on property owned by the family for generations. Both are very happy, but have relayed to me horror stories. (and they are pretty bad). However, my friends assure me that Thai women take care of their husbands better than any other  in Asia.


Philippines
I have been reading a Philippine forum for ex pats. Often the issue about generosity to family members of girlfriends and wives is raised. The amount requested is often low, and the ex pats have seemed to been able to draw a line. The number one negative seems to be jealousy by their filipina girlfriends and wives. The number one benefit is their eagarness to work if and when they move to the USA

 
IMO
The main difference between the above two and FSU ladies is cultural expectations. The above is not necessarily what the woman requires, but rather a cultural obligation. BUT FSU ladies have higher financial expectations of money spent for their wants
 

FSU
In 23 years of marriage with a FSU lady, my FSU wifes family rarely asked for money. However, we did volunteer some large sums for treatment here in the USA for medical issues that could have been done in Russian for much less. Maybe $25000 total for transporation, visas and bills.
Title: Re: Starting Over in 2018
Post by: rwd123 on September 27, 2018, 10:08:10 PM
Hmm...

The insertion of Asian women into this discussion sounds like one couldn't get Natasha to the prom dance so is scrambling to find anyone to go with them. I know Maxx mentioned guys here can come across as misandrists, I'm not one, but this flip to Asia sounds like one of desperate and lonely guys.

Asian cultures are incredibly different to slavic, notwithstanding physical differences.

When you you marry you don't just eat the bean, you eat the whole burrito. Family, culture, customs, personal history, circle of friends, expectations, etc. So I really don't understand how a guy can just switch, "oh well, had no chemistry with Olga and Irina isn't returning my calls - so I guess I'll try to find a wife in Asia."

(http://s2.quickmeme.com/img/ec/ecb262572f7e6eacadc00b36213694c79da2055cfb416386d05109bcf735e727.jpg)

RWD raised the most constructive advice that I've read here thus far - and look forward to digging into that more with you over time if you're game? - Thanks.

I'd be happy to but need to know your context more - either here or via PM.

Title: Re: Starting Over in 2018
Post by: JayH on October 24, 2018, 12:46:37 AM
 The idea about "village" girls is outdated in reality imo .
Here is link to Olya talking about the topic

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PWfdlv91pHc&t=11s&fbclid=IwAR1rs74wQ2qXZ1zWmdusNu3YuP0uvS4DCX5b2XIehQHL22vmxg7eKJ0XwEQ
Title: Re: Starting Over in 2018
Post by: krimster2 on October 24, 2018, 04:17:29 AM
an old grizzled prospector was once asked, "where's all the gold"
he replied, "wherever you find it"
Title: Re: Starting Over in 2019
Post by: BoozeBaron on November 13, 2019, 12:27:08 PM
The idea about "village" girls is outdated in reality imo .
Here is link to Olya talking about the topic



Thanks for this Jay and Olya - Having been to the far west and east (mountain and village towns) and also spending time in Kiev, I wholeheartedly agree with her summary of village gals leaving home for the larger cities both for schooling and/or for better work opportunities - So thanks to you both for that additional information and for helping remind me that people of all sorts are 'everywhere' ... Yet, there are attributes of a 'village gal' that I do seek... and rather not be hanging out in some Ritzy flash club to find her... I'm all about family and tradition and whilst they may be in Kiev or Odessa etc - finding them 'gold nuggets' is proving to be more of a challenge these days --- and feel this 'industry" (please don't take that word wrong - I'm struggling to find the right term to use to finding the aforementioned family/traditional gal) but back on point, based on my recent searches, it seems to me all this international romance stuff is teetering on dying, if not already dead...?

Since I have this tendency to ramble on at times with no end in sight - and disappear for months on end... I don't wanna waste anyone's time - However, as someone who was in Kiev when the %^&*$ hit the fan back in 2014, I'm now 5 years later watching this congressional investigation to oust Trump (which I have zero say in one way or the other - just here to discuss the best way to reboot my search - or if in 2019/2020 if it's even worth doing anymore?) ... But I didn't know the US contributed so much to Ukraine in their efforts to hold off the Russian eastern push... and having been in Donetsk to meet a gal - to hear now the 'front line' is 15-20 miles away... in Donbass, rattles me.... But on the other hand, it sounds like thus new President elected has turned over all the old corrupt rules/laws (best possible) and is trying to really make a go of it in Ukraine to get into the EU and break away from the old Soviet Union chains... The day they get Crimea back, I guess that'll tell us if he's for real or not - but hopes seem high there for once...

Anyway - I wrote this OP just over a year ago - and sadly I've been in Texas undergoing adrenal cancer treatment that was inadvertently found during a post-op follow up scan after my 4th back surgery (man, I'm SO glad now I didn't get hitched back in 2013 as I'd hoped - for my world has crumbled since then - and there's doubt a new foreign marriage would have survived the hell I've been thru these past 5 years now)... but my point is; I'm getting back on my feet now - and moving back 'home' to Colorado as the TX heat is killing me... and am trying to decide if I want to spend Xmas overseas or not? I def need a change of scenery - but fear having been laid up the past 5 years, well, those were my final 5 years to go chasing someone seriously...  I'm now 5 years older and that's 5 years more than any reasonable gal would desire... So I can't blame them... Plus American women who were always my fallback (if things weren't going well overseas, I'd just starting dating AW) - but am finding the older they get/are - the more bitter or jaded they are too... I dunno... There's allot of things I need to sort out in my head - so was just gonna rent a flat in Kiev or Odessa for 30 days and spend xmas and NYE there (so could use a referral there please?)  and just see what happens? But go back to square 1 ... I'm starting from scratch - and the rules have def changed - additionally, it's not 2004 when I took my 1st trip to Ukraine was... ALLOT has happened and change since then and guess I'm just looking to see what others' are doing these days - or are the waters all fished out? Is it even worth going over to anymore? and as I always ask - I try to network with trustworthy ppl over there that will have your back... The "Agency" my last gal used in 2013 still has her pic posted despite her being married now (5 months after we split - that says it all I think) - so don't wanna go thru all the games and traps and hoops like before (don't misunderstand - I always have a back up plan - i always check things out in advance as much as one can from 4000 miles away)... So despite being laid up for the past 60 months, I was just given clearance to travel - and it's a helluva fist trip to undertake (it's either this or go sit on some beach in Cancun) but watching all this today kinda got my blood pumping to get back over there... and am giving it some serious consideration... But need a starting point? so sorry to ask for the 100th time - but it does seem to change daily now... I'm open to suggestions!

Cheers -

BB
Title: Re: Starting Over in 2018
Post by: msmob on November 13, 2019, 12:42:38 PM
Glad you are the road to recovery - but think that even though you are adverse to heat - do you need ( possibly) freezing cold and thoroughly wrapped up ladies ;) ?

Why not  try out dating sites / apps and see what happens..



Title: Re: Starting Over in 2019
Post by: BillyB on November 13, 2019, 02:09:05 PM
But need a starting point? so sorry to ask for the 100th time - but it does seem to change daily now... I'm open to suggestions!


Use a variety of sites. If you get too much attention, the site isn't any good.
Title: Re: Starting Over in 2018
Post by: Trenchcoat on November 13, 2019, 02:53:08 PM
How old are you BB?

Be realistic about what you offer a younger woman. If you are over 60 can you support a woman in her 30s with a child? How attractive a girl are you looking for and how attractive are you? Remember age takes a toll on all of us.

I think Fdating is a good site for you to start with, it's a free site so no subscription axe to grind from the owners of the site. Avoid scammers as per usual, anyone trying to get you over to a PPL site or asking for money. On Fdate you will tend to find the girls come up occasionally but not too frequently like you've just become a pop star, good luck! :)
Title: Re: Starting Over in 2018
Post by: JayH on November 13, 2019, 10:18:25 PM
BB --I was reading back over thread and your comments --  and had a thought--    some years ago ( quite a few in fact!)     an expensive black NZ registered car finished up in a canal on the Gold Coast - know anything about that? :)
Title: Re: Starting Over in 2018
Post by: msmob on November 14, 2019, 01:38:26 AM
How old are you BB?

Be realistic about what you offer a younger woman. If you are over 60 can you support a woman in her 30s with a child? How attractive a girl are you looking for and how attractive are you? Remember age takes a toll on all of us.

I think Fdating is a good site for you to start with, it's a free site so no subscription axe to grind from the owners of the site. Avoid scammers as per usual, anyone trying to get you over to a PPL site or asking for money. On Fdate you will tend to find the girls come up occasionally but not too frequently like you've just become a pop star, good luck! :)


OMG

Trench 'the expert' on dating FSU W is offering 'advice', again !)

Remind us where is your thread on your life with your wife / girlfriend ?

Hint: bear this in mind when reading Trench posts)))







Title: Re: Starting Over in 2018
Post by: Trenchcoat on November 14, 2019, 02:01:24 AM

OMG

Trench 'the expert' on dating FSU W is offering 'advice', again !)

Remind us where is your thread on your life with your wife / girlfriend ?

Hint: bear this in mind when reading Trench posts)))

Success at this game can be random Mobe, guys who are cluless and lack resources can come good on dumb luck. Experience in the field is a different matter and also is learning and being self aware.
Title: Re: Starting Over in 2018
Post by: msmob on November 14, 2019, 02:23:12 AM
I think you may have been watching too many old Kung Fu (David Carradine) episodes  , Grasshopper...

Your 'theories' have been working out SO well, for you))
Title: Re: Starting Over in 2018
Post by: krimster2 on November 14, 2019, 08:35:22 AM
success is NEVER random...
it’s “SKILLZ” that have to be LEARNED...

most people don’t have the ability to see...
the flow of information that exists all around them...
and never learn how to “read the signs”
that exist EVERYWHERE...
that tells you where the “path” is...

I learned from nature...
and that has given me a natural ability...
to know the art of taming the wild Russian tigress
transforming her into a totally domesticated animal that purrs softly and gently licks me to show her affection, my adorable pet...

what is knowledge based on?
the stones of experience joined together with the mortar of wisdom...
Trench, this mason, says this to you...
If you are not succeeding in Ukraine, then what does that tell you?
Do you know WHY you’re not succeeding?
if you do know why, what have you done to change the situation?
otherwise...
your trips to Ukraine are going to be for entertainment purposes only me bruv...

Title: Re: Starting Over in 2018
Post by: Trenchcoat on November 14, 2019, 12:58:51 PM
Trench, this mason, says this to you...
If you are not succeeding in Ukraine, then what does that tell you?
Do you know WHY you’re not succeeding?
if you do know why, what have you done to change the situation?
otherwise...
your trips to Ukraine are going to be for entertainment purposes only me bruv...

I think the reasons are various.

I'm an everyday looking guy, I will appeal to some women looks wise and not to others. Out of every 10 women I may only appeal between 2-4 of them looks wise. Of those I will only probably be lucky to have chemistry with one of them. Odds may be that 1-2 ish girls in every 20 I might have chemistry with and they might find me somewhat attractive.

Then there is whether we have the same interests in common, they don't have to be the same but somewhat complementary is usually needed I guess.

After that there is the woman's outlook and my outlook of what we are both looking for. If we are hot enough on each other then it may not be the biggest issue.


I think in the past some girls were not near the target. They were either into Theatre/Opera/Orchestra where I am not really or the weren't the right type of girl, smoked, party girl. I may have not said the right sort of thing to one or two of them, or more. I do feel now though that I have learnt from this and how to go about it better and the type of girl to go for more.

In some ways the second girl I was with was not as far off the mark as the others but I didn't play it right and she was materialistic. Maybe a few years on as I think I will be in a lot better position financially it wouldn't have mattered as much but then it did.

The girl I met in Minsk told me some areas I needed to improve on. Basically working out (not that I was particularly fat), posture and I think she seemed to be subtly suggesting that wearing glasses was not good either. The general gist seemed to be that I was not coming over right. I don't think I would have been right for her anyway as there was no chemistry and she was into Theatre but it's just what she saw.

I've sorted the glasses issue, all well there so no longer a problem and I like the result of not having to wear them no longer. I've been hitting the gym and think I am now making progress, not there yet but really seem to finally be getting into it after a year at it. I'm guessing this will also help with posture, I've also got a posture corrector gadget of Amazon but haven't gotten around to using it as yet.

In addition I've been trying to learn Russian and made a little bit of progress and been looking into broadening out my hobbies a little :)
Title: Re: Starting Over in 2018
Post by: HoundDaddyLee on November 14, 2019, 01:16:32 PM
I think the reasons are various.

I'm an everyday looking guy, I will appeal to some women looks wise and not to others. Out of every 10 women I may only appeal between 2-4 of them looks wise. Of those I will only probably be lucky to have chemistry with one of them. Odds may be that 1-2 ish girls in every 20 I might have chemistry with and they might find me somewhat attractive.

Then there is whether we have the same interests in common, they don't have to be the same but somewhat complementary is usually needed I guess.

After that there is the woman's outlook and my outlook of what we are both looking for. If we are hot enough on each other then it may not be the biggest issue.


I think in the past some girls were not near the target. They were either into Theatre/Opera/Orchestra where I am not really or the weren't the right type of girl, smoked, party girl. I may have not said the right sort of thing to one or two of them, or more. I do feel now though that I have learnt from this and how to go about it better and the type of girl to go for more.

In some ways the second girl I was with was not as far off the mark as the others but I didn't play it right and she was materialistic. Maybe a few years on as I think I will be in a lot better position financially it wouldn't have mattered as much but then it did.

The girl I met in Minsk told me some areas I needed to improve on. Basically working out (not that I was particularly fat), posture and I think she seemed to be subtly suggesting that wearing glasses was not good either. The general gist seemed to be that I was not coming over right. I don't think I would have been right for her anyway as there was no chemistry and she was into Theatre but it's just what she saw.

I've sorted the glasses issue, all well there so no longer a problem and I like the result of not having to wear them no longer. I've been hitting the gym and think I am now making progress, not there yet but really seem to finally be getting into it after a year at it. I'm guessing this will also help with posture, I've also got a posture corrector gadget of Amazon but haven't gotten around to using it as yet.

In addition I've been trying to learn Russian and made a little bit of progress and been looking into broadening out my hobbies a little :)


Trench,


You can work out until you are cut, you can have LASIK to rid yourself of the glasses. You will still fail. Your problems are not your looks, it is your attitude. You thing women are a commodity. They are human beings, not objects. Fix your personality (at your age you probably can't, but at least try). You have refused to build a relationship over Skype because of the time required. What do you do in the evening? You make a crap salary and refuse to fix that because you would get hit with more taxes. If you spend weeks/months building a relationship over Skype you will be in a better place when you visit in person.


Your problems are inside you. You giving advice is frightening. You keep getting told this by everyone, over and over again.  :cluebat:


HDL
Title: Re: Starting Over in 2018
Post by: msmob on November 14, 2019, 01:17:43 PM
Trench,

you are learning nothing - other than listening to bollox and 'swallowing' it ..

I met a lass who told me I'd stand a chance ( with her ) if I worked out more ..

She is still single - perhaps she is looking for her perfect guy ..

Penny dropping ?
Title: Re: Starting Over in 2018
Post by: Trenchcoat on November 14, 2019, 01:43:40 PM
Trench,

you are learning nothing - other than listening to bollox and 'swallowing' it ..

I met a lass who told me I'd stand a chance ( with her ) if I worked out more ..

She is still single - perhaps she is looking for her perfect guy ..

Penny dropping ?

I know some women have unrealistic expectations of what guy they can get and some guys may have unrealistic expectations of what girl they can get. People at the end of the day want what they want and some wouldn't be satisfied if they don't get the full deal so won't settle.
Title: Re: Starting Over in 2018
Post by: Trenchcoat on November 14, 2019, 01:53:31 PM

Trench,


You can work out until you are cut, you can have LASIK to rid yourself of the glasses. You will still fail. Your problems are not your looks, it is your attitude. You thing women are a commodity. They are human beings, not objects. Fix your personality (at your age you probably can't, but at least try). You have refused to build a relationship over Skype because of the time required. What do you do in the evening? You make a crap salary and refuse to fix that because you would get hit with more taxes. If you spend weeks/months building a relationship over Skype you will be in a better place when you visit in person.


Your problems are inside you. You giving advice is frightening. You keep getting told this by everyone, over and over again.  :cluebat:


HDL

I'm not saying you are totally wrong in your synopsis of me HDL. However, women no don't do the same/similar, I think it's somewhat natural. The girl in Minsk could be said to want a certain commodity in her man, probably a masculine looking fitness freak. Some women will see me/how I was as not near enough the mark, from the way I look they may have thought I was a little weak looking for a man and hence not up to the job. I know for certain some girls don't like guys who wear glasses.

If I can appeal to more women by shaving off stuff like that and get to a more broader appeal then it's not a bad thing. I tend to treat women decently on meeting not like a commodity. It's just a case of trying to get to know the right girl more.

Do you think guys like Robbie Williams ever had problems with the way he looks, I've heard that when he was young and happening in the 90's most women wanted to get it on with him!

ps. It was LASEK laser surgery I had done ;)
Title: Re: Starting Over in 2018
Post by: ML on November 14, 2019, 03:17:37 PM
The idea about "village" girls is outdated in reality imo .


Wife watched this video with me.
The gal kept repeating . . . Ukrainians are not racist.

Wife said:  Yes they are !!
Title: Re: Starting Over in 2018
Post by: HoundDaddyLee on November 14, 2019, 04:16:45 PM
I'm not saying you are totally wrong in your synopsis of me HDL. However, women no don't do the same/similar, I think it's somewhat natural. The girl in Minsk could be said to want a certain commodity in her man, probably a masculine looking fitness freak. Some women will see me/how I was as not near enough the mark, from the way I look they may have thought I was a little weak looking for a man and hence not up to the job. I know for certain some girls don't like guys who wear glasses.

If I can appeal to more women by shaving off stuff like that and get to a more broader appeal then it's not a bad thing. I tend to treat women decently on meeting not like a commodity. It's just a case of trying to get to know the right girl more.

Do you think guys like Robbie Williams ever had problems with the way he looks, I've heard that when he was young and happening in the 90's most women wanted to get it on with him!

ps. It was LASEK laser surgery I had done ;)


Don't know who Robbie Williams is...
I imagine a celebrity, so of course he attracted women. If this is the type of woman you want, then keep working out, but you will need to make more change than you make now. If you want a good, loving woman, then work on yourself. That woman won't care about the size of your wallet, your biceps or your penis. She will care about your heart and your character.


Again, you are fishing for a type of woman who will never bite into your bait. At best you will get milked until dry (and I don't mean sexually) and then dumped. But don't listen to the good advice you've gotten. Keep doing the wrong things. I seem to remember a quote that insanity is doing the same thing over and over, expecting different results. Do the math.


HDL
Title: Re: Starting Over in 2018
Post by: ML on November 14, 2019, 04:29:45 PM

That woman won't care about the size of your wallet, your biceps or your penis.



Don't be so sure about this.
Title: Re: Starting Over in 2018
Post by: Trenchcoat on November 14, 2019, 04:47:03 PM

Don't know who Robbie Williams is...
I imagine a celebrity, so of course he attracted women. If this is the type of woman you want, then keep working out, but you will need to make more change than you make now. If you want a good, loving woman, then work on yourself. That woman won't care about the size of your wallet, your biceps or your penis. She will care about your heart and your character.


Again, you are fishing for a type of woman who will never bite into your bait. At best you will get milked until dry (and I don't mean sexually) and then dumped. But don't listen to the good advice you've gotten. Keep doing the wrong things. I seem to remember a quote that insanity is doing the same thing over and over, expecting different results. Do the math.


HDL

He was part of 90's pop boy band, 'Take That'. In fairness he actually had a decent singing voice but often wasn't allowed to do much singing. That job was often taken by Gary Barlow, he wasn't as good as at singing but better at song writing. Main thing is that few women were into Gary despite being the brain behind the songs, he didn't quite cut it looks wise compared to Robbie. So Robbie had a big following of women that wanted to do him, Gary  hardly any despite being just as famous/well known.

Take That later broke up, Robbie had a sterling solo music career, Gary and the rest of the band members not so much. Gary tried a solo career but it never really went anywhere much. For a fair number of years Robbie went over and lived in LA but apparently came back to the UK as he reckoned the UK education system was much better quality and needed as his children were growing up. Robbie still does solo concerts to this day. The rest of Take That tried a reunion (minus Robbie who didn't get on with Gary) but the results were mixed and somewhat short lived.

Robbie Williams was definitely VERY big throughout the nineties in the UK, not sure about the US as UK music can often have trouble penetrating over there.

Main point is that women are just as superficial as men if not more so. If Robbie was an ugly guy few girls would be wanting to get it on with him saying, 'well he has a good voice'. Most wouldn't care and his singing career wouldn't have been anywhere near as good as it was as it is the guy ended up cleaning up and has many millions of £ now.
Title: Re: Starting Over in 2018
Post by: krimster2 on November 14, 2019, 07:12:36 PM
my last trip to Moscow three months ago cast me as an observer of the "dating scene" there...
I served as a designated driver/security guard-chaperone for my oldest daughter's crowd of freshman/sophmore college friends in Moscow...
18-19 yr olds.... the privileged children of indifferent oligarchs...

we convoyed up North from Dzerzhinksy on the main highway all the way up to Presnensky and first went to Night Flight but then we got a call that we should all head over to "Lookin Rooms"
which was pretty "jumpin" we met up with the other part of our group and I got tables for us and me and the other guard/chaperone sat drinking Perrier while our charges socialized with each other ..
I spent the night watching over my daughter and her friends while occasionally deflecting a drug dealer or hooligan...
it would not be good for me to have to explain to my daughter's boyfriend's parents why he got beat up in a fight or high on X on "my watch"...
so I gotta keep things under control...
I spot the "professionals" we make eye contact but I shake my head NO....

a lot of groups of young women in their early 20s standing in line, but facecontrol knows some of the people in our group and just waves us in...

so we become part of "the social" that's going on that morphs into dancing when a local Moscva band appears on stage to a lot of clapping and cheering...
the women are all dancing AMAZINGLY well, only a couple of guys can dance at that level...

then I see one of my daughter's friends head out with a "chorny plash" X dealer and I had to intercept her before she blindly went ahead and took one of the many X tabs she had just purchased...
then when another of her friends is throwing up in the bathroom I have to go in and get him cleaned up and out of there...
several times I had to steer rogue males away from the women in our group before boyfriends got involved (and potentially injured!)

afterwards, when taking everyone home, met several cougar moms, and there was one my daughter definitely steered me away from....
an interesting evening...
a LOTTA bling, my daughter is hitting me up for a 3.0 caret canary yellow stone to match her friend's as her Christmas present (I'll get a hand drawn Christmas card in return, so it's totally EVEN!)

the club scene in Moscva remends me quite a bit of the club scene back in the "Bay Area" in the mid-80s...
the same "techno club" ambiance...
but with more Russian rap and techno music and 100 times more beautiful single women!!!
a lot of the women were getting frustrated that there were no guys to dance with...
I didn't want to dance, because I didn't want to get all sweaty wearing a Louis Vuitton jacket and silk shirt...
Title: Re: Starting Over in 2018
Post by: Davo on November 14, 2019, 10:05:25 PM

Trench,


You can work out until you are cut, you can have LASIK to rid yourself of the glasses. You will still fail. Your problems are not your looks, it is your attitude. You thing women are a commodity. They are human beings, not objects. Fix your personality (at your age you probably can't, but at least try). You have refused to build a relationship over Skype because of the time required. What do you do in the evening? You make a crap salary and refuse to fix that because you would get hit with more taxes. If you spend weeks/months building a relationship over Skype you will be in a better place when you visit in person.


Your problems are inside you. You giving advice is frightening. You keep getting told this by everyone, over and over again.  :cluebat:


HDL


Trench, HDL has some good points and one of your biggest issues is your income. Even if you find the perfect woman for you she’s going to take one look at your income, do the figures and realise she’s better off staying put. Don’t think for one minute she won’t. K did and also S with her English guy, who earns £15,000 more than you. It wasn’t enough to support S and her son, while she brought her qualifications up to scratch to bring the family income up to an acceptable level. You want a woman who doesn’t work, a baby straight away that will cost a lot more than S’s older son.

I haven’t been here much lately, because when I returned from Russia, I realised I  was underfunded and wasn’t going to be successful even though I earned twice your income. I’ve been pulling big hours growing my business, which I do part time after working for another company. In 5 months I’ve doubled my income to a projected £70,000+ this financial year.

During this time K confided in my female friend that it was expensive to bring her to Australia. She knew my basic income from my first job, it was part of her failed tourist visa application, so I opened up my books and was able to show her I was earning 90k Aud at that stage, this reassured her she wasn’t getting herself into bad financial situation. It’s a pity her Ex started talking about going court if she tries to take her daughter out of the country and his family putting pressure on her to pull the pin, because i’d basically ticked all the boxes. It was probably for the best though, as this period showed some flaws in our communication.

I had the same thought as you.... find a woman and then make more money from my side business. That isn’t practical firstly because you will be time poor when she first arrives in your country and needs your support, not an absent husband who’s working to keep both of your heads above water.

Secondly as I said above, the next rung on the ladder, after you meet a suitable woman is showing her what type of life she’s going to live in your country. With some guys it’s more than obvious that they are financially comfortable, given their lifestyle (Krim for example).  In your case it not obvious and she’ll be asking direct questions regarding finances. Your word that you can make more money isn’t going to cut it for someone making the biggest and riskiest decision of their life. She’s going to want to see cold hard evidence (figures), just like K did.

The time you spend here, in the gym, and dreaming up plans to succeed could be far better utilised fixing your biggest problem atm, before you continue....IMO
Title: Re: Starting Over in 2018
Post by: Boethius on November 14, 2019, 11:41:40 PM
Do you think guys like Robbie Williams ever had problems with the way he looks, I've heard that when he was young and happening in the 90's most women wanted to get it on with him!

Robbie Williams was famous and worth more than £100 million (now over £250 million). He had women chasing him when he was drug addled. This is a poor example which bears no relation to your reality. It’s a stupid example. If you were rich and famous you wouldn’t have problems finding women interested in you either.

This post was composed without the aid of google.
Title: Re: Starting Over in 2018
Post by: jone on November 15, 2019, 12:14:52 AM
Davo,

What's your take on K's daughter and the ex-husband/father?   Is the father involved in her life?  Or is he making noise because he wants to see a payoff? 
Title: Re: Starting Over in 2018
Post by: Trenchcoat on November 15, 2019, 12:23:02 AM

Trench, HDL has some good points and one of your biggest issues is your income. Even if you find the perfect woman for you she’s going to take one look at your income, do the figures and realise she’s better off staying put. Don’t think for one minute she won’t. K did and also S with her English guy, who earns $15,000 more than you. It wasn’t enough to support S and her son, while she brought her qualifications up to scratch to bring the family income up to an acceptable level.

I haven’t been here much lately, because when I returned from Russia, I realised I  was underfunded and wasn’t going to be successful even though I earned twice your income. I’ve been pulling big hours growing my business, which I do part time after working for another company. In 5 months I’ve doubled my income to a projected $70,000+ pounds this financial year. During this time K confided in my female friend that it was expensive to bring her to Australia, so I opened up my books and was able to show her I was earning 90k Aud at that stage, this reassured her she wasn’t getting herself into bad financial situation.

I had the same thought as you.... find a woman and then make more money from my side business. That isn’t practical firstly because you will be time poor when she first arrives in your country and needs your support, not an absent husband who’s working to keep both of your heads above water.

Secondly as I said above, the next rung on the ladder, after you meet a suitable woman is showing her what type of life she’s going to live in your country. With some guys it’s more than obvious that they are financially comfortable, given their lifestyle (Krim for example).  In your case it not obvious and she’ll be asking direct questions regarding finances. Your word that you can make more money isn’t going to cut it for someone making the biggest and riskiest decision of their life. She’s going to want to see cold hard evidence (figures), just like K did.

The time you spend here, in the gym, and dreaming up plans to succeed could be far better utilised fixing your biggest problem atm, before you continue....IMO

What??? The ungrateful little cow Davo, she should be damn grateful that you are taking her to paradise in the west not getting fussy with it, lol ;D

Well there are different variables, if there is already any kids she has then that can up costs significantly. If you have a mortgage that can also up costs. The longer distance compared to the UK is also not helpful. Then there are the greater costs that the State covers in the UK which they don't in Aus, Education, Healthcare, etc.

I still think you are both getting carried away and over-estimating the costs. A bit like in the UK when someone retires and think the State pension won't be enough and then goes to stupid lengths from the fear that they might be hard up. It's the fear rather than reality that is driving it.

Still I get your point, it can all unravel there if the girl is not convinced that everything will be rock solid and sound. Girls will vary but this is likely to be a potential issue that could de-rail things.

There really isn't anything I can do on that at the moment. The UK isn't like Aus where you can start a business and be relatively assured of money if you put the hours in. The UK has a lot higher population per sq meter, that equates to a lot of competition in most things one might try. Building up wealth and income is possible but it tends to be a slower and harder path.

I appreciate what you're trying to say, when I was in Kiev this summer I realized that I was not set up enough on the personal side of my life, contacts to get stuff done, social activities that I am a part off, etc. That if a FSW joined me here I may have little to help entertain her.

The financial situation is potentially another aspect where I would have to have a hard look at it and ask myself if I am properly set up enough for a woman to join me. I assess my options along the way so nothing is hard and fast.

For me I think it will be a case of building up my wealth and income as I look for a FSW. There is relatively little loss of income from me looking while bringing in income. I'm guessing from Aus it's a case of taking a long while of for journeying and taking time out to make the trip worthwhile of the travelling time and cost. Some businesses I know can due if left a while. Admittedly I'm not as comfortably off as I would like to be, not talking millionaire at all which a six figure income at all here just able to do stuff without thinking about money cost that much.

I guess what I'm saying is that I'm happy to improve as I go but take a casual approach to the FSU dating venture. I think that I would need to find a girl who is quite laid back about it and willing to give it a go without getting too hung up on having a well off lifestyle.
Title: Re: Starting Over in 2018
Post by: Trenchcoat on November 15, 2019, 12:26:48 AM
Robbie Williams was famous and worth more than £100 million (now over £250 million). He had women chasing him when he was drug addled. This is a poor example which bears no relation to your reality. It’s a stupid example. If you were rich and famous you wouldn’t have problems finding women interested in you either.

This post was composed without the aid of google.

I doubt any of the Take That group had problems getting girls due to their fame and fortune, etc. The point was that Robbie got tons more female admirers due to his looks, ie that women are just as flawed as men in their view of relationships.
Title: Re: Starting Over in 2018
Post by: Boethius on November 15, 2019, 12:30:32 AM
There are literally hundreds of thousands of men in the UK more attractive than Robbie Williams.  He stands out because he's a great dancer (equates to many to being good in bed, but that is manufactured), and is famous.  If he were working in a chip shop in Stoke-on-Trent, he would not have had women falling over themselves for him.


This post was composed without the aid of google.
Title: Re: Starting Over in 2018
Post by: Davo on November 15, 2019, 01:27:42 AM
Davo,

What's your take on K's daughter and the ex-husband/father?   Is the father involved in her life?  Or is he making noise because he wants to see a payoff?

If you can remember my TP. When I returned home everything was great, then I was confused about what was going on and why things suddenly changed. One minute she was 100% on track and looking like we might have a future together, but we had agreed to meet again before making any big decisions. The next minute it all feel in a heap.

I think I mentioned that she was invited to stay the night at her ex’s parents house with her daughter (which was unusual) and the next morning she went straight back to her city to have in her words a “meeting” with her parents. To me it all sound very official and serious. At that point she started pulling back with the phone calls if you remember and finally the messages. I suspected I was being discussed at the ex in-laws. Some of the members here privately agreed with what I suspected but I didn’t bother trying to confirm it with her.

After I left the site for a while communication was getting harder and I could see her heart wasn’t in it anymore. I decided it wasn’t going anywhere and pulled the pin. We still chatted occasionally as friends.

On my last night of my trip I met a Russian guy and his GF and we have become good friends (I’m going on holiday with them and her sister in a little over a week). I had a good discussion about the situation a few months ago with him and being a local he knew of K’s Ex. He’s a pretty influential man in the region and my friend agreed that my suspicions were exactly what happened. He said the moment we were both seen in public together, it would have got back to her ex that she was with a foreign guy.

Later when chatting with K she confirmed my suspicions.

When they first broke up he threatened to take her to court to get full custody of their daughter, she called his bluff and said you can take her. A day later she realised looking after a child full time wasn’t his thing and backed down.

At her in-laws the same pressure was applied and he threatened legal action if she proceeded with our relationship and attempt to take their daughter out of the country. She then went to talk to her parents about what had occurred. Her Ex has a good relationship with their daughter compared with most divorced Russian men and being a father myself, honestly I would have probably done the same thing.

As far as a payoff, he’s wealthy by Russian standards and unofficially makes $7000 US a month, so money wasn’t an issue. On that point he pays a lot more towards his kids upbringing than just the standard child support (including their adult son, studying at a prestigious university in Moscow) and he hinted in the meeting that he would also withdraw that support.

She genuinely liked me, but pulled back when things went pear shaped, I guess to save further pain for us both. Her daughters 5 years away from legally making her own decisions, so if we are both still single who knows? .... there might still be a small chance things will work out.

I don’t have any regrets considering many guys struggle to even get to the point I did the first time around and it has been one of the best dating experience since my divorce.....I’ve learnt a lot and I’ve made some mistakes along the way. There are some things I will do differently next time and some things I’ll do exactly the same.

Title: Re: Starting Over in 2018
Post by: Trenchcoat on November 15, 2019, 01:44:08 AM
Ah, that's why she was so concerned about the financial situation as she's used to money and a good lifestyle. Plus if her ex pulls the plug she would be left high and dry if it went pear shaped for her, including her son at the prestigious uni. However, if you aren't a bit and after that stuff is done who knows. I'm don't reckon I would lose time waiting around though. Chances are the financial pull of her ex will always be there and too strong for her to resist.
Title: Re: Starting Over in 2018
Post by: msmob on November 15, 2019, 02:06:35 AM
Trench, you are a total ARSE....

I believe Davo and this women did click and you haven't a clue re the issues an ex can have re kids without the rights to decide for themselves.

'K' and Davo  are between a rock and a hard place and I admire his persistence.






Title: Re: Starting Over in 2018
Post by: Davo on November 15, 2019, 02:08:07 AM
Ah, that's why she was so concerned about the financial situation as she's used to money and a good lifestyle. Plus if her ex pulls the plug she would be left high and dry if it went pear shaped for her, including her son at the prestigious uni. However, if you aren't a bit and after that stuff is done who knows. I'm don't reckon I would lose time waiting around though. Chances are the financial pull of her ex will always be there and too strong for her to resist.

No trench, not at all!!!!......By the time we called it quits, I was making more than her ex and she knew that, so her ex’s money had nothing to do with the decision. It was all about her daughter and I even expressed empathy for her husband position to her.

She is in a great financial position without her Ex or me. She has extensive savings in the bank and in trust for her children. Her family are well off. She owns the property that her and her Ex lived in and she didn’t get it in their divorce. She earns a good wage for a woman in Russia. With minimal effort, given her qualifications and experience she could have walked into a 120k+ job here, but some study to upgrade her degrees is needed. She said early on that she wants a man who’s driven to succeed and can support her and her daughter during the transition... Exactly like S and exactly like any FSU woman would expect. We were at a point of discussing things like her finances and I encouraged her to keep her assets and savings for her children.... As a man it should be my responsibility to provide for her until she’s on her feet in my country.

She is the most frugal woman you would ever meet. She chastised me often for over spending. Looked at prices closely when shopping to get the best bargains. Didn’t want to buy a car (although well with in her means) because it’s cheaper catching a bus and would rather buy off the discount rack than spend on designer clothes. The last night in her city I surprised her with a night at the Hilton, champagne and caviar and I could see she was uncomfortable. The next morning she refused to eat breakfast there because it was too expensive and we walked back to the supermarket near my apartment, because she insisted on cooking me breakfast.

Not all all women are driven by money. She just wanted to live a normal life in Australia, you can’t do that on a wage like yours as a one income family. It would be stretching it on my offical wage she saw on her failed visa application. She didn’t know I was making extra in my business, which wasn’t included because at that stage I was doing 90% cash in hand work in my business.

I’m not waiting around.... I went on a blind date with a very nice and  attractive woman last weekend. A friend of my friend who was talking to K and I’m spending 10 days in Vietnam with a Russian woman the week after next. If I wasn’t going on holiday I’d pursue the blind date. She proof that you can still find wonderful women at home. In our age group Trench they are actually thick on the ground.
Title: Re: Starting Over in 2018
Post by: Davo on November 15, 2019, 04:38:31 AM
Don’t take my posts as criticism Trench. It’s just advice from one FSU newbie to another and a guy who’s lived with a woman for 20 years while raising 4 kids, two are now adults..... My advice from the latter is you are vastly underestimating the cost of having a wife and children on a single income like yours.

Sorry OP for sidetracking your thread🙂
Title: Re: Starting Over in 2018
Post by: krimster2 on November 15, 2019, 05:21:05 AM
as someone also married to a RW for 20 years, but alas only two children, both in college...
I echo your sentiment....

but look around...
lotta poor people are married and have children...
for some people marriage can be a way OUT of poverty... (if you don't have children!)

Trench lives in a part of the UK that's not optimal for dating...
and Trench is himself "not optimal" for dating...

so...
Game Theory suggests
Trench can pursue three different strategies:

ONE - self improvement to raise women's perception of him to raise his chances
TWO - increase his contacts, hoping that one "clicks"
Three - move outta the Midlands to Londinium or other larger city (but watch out for the Romans - or did they leave?) this is also to "raise his chances"

BUT...
as a wise hunter once noted, finding the quarry is only the first task...
there are many other steps to be performed before you sit down to a venison dinner....
and if a hunter is getting stuck in an "infinite loop" waiting for the deer to appear
then he learns nothing about how to do the rest of the job
and doesn't realize HOW FAR away he is from those tasty deer steaks!

Title: Re: Starting Over in 2018
Post by: SteveInBoston on November 15, 2019, 05:41:36 AM
I had deer once.  Didn't taste like chicken.
Title: Re: Starting Over in 2018
Post by: krimster2 on November 15, 2019, 06:19:54 AM
my deer butchering experience came in handy in Crimea when I found myself living on a little farm dubbed the "Rancho Del Krimster"
and extended this knowledge from deer to pigs and sheep AND chickens...
when Russians saw my Nipposki nosh they knew I was a serious malchick, none of that dull Russkaya stal, ha
Title: Re: Starting Over in 2018
Post by: jone on November 15, 2019, 10:27:43 AM
The first thing to ask a woman who has a child is whether the father is involved with her life.   If the answer is 'yes', then she is not a suitable candidate to be dating.   Simples.   There are too many other women out there who don't have such a problem. 

Even if the father is NOT in the child's life, once they hear that the ex-wife is contemplating living overseas with their son or daughter, you can expect push back.  Or, flat out, bribery.
Title: Re: Starting Over in 2018
Post by: Wayne on November 15, 2019, 10:40:55 AM
Today is the opening of the firearms deer season in my state. A lot of men have taken the day off to go hunting.

The "wild" taste in venison is when you don't skin the meat out right away and cool or freeze it. It also does not have much fat and needs to be cooked differently than beef or pork. Some people have most of the meat ground up with added pork.
Title: Re: Starting Over in 2018
Post by: SteveInBoston on November 15, 2019, 11:33:42 AM
Oh deer,

Sorry for contributing to the off topic conversation.


Back to BoozeBaron:

Good luck on your trip this winter.  I will be over there from Christmas to Christmas, Dec 25 to Jan 7.

I would suggest using Airbnb for apt rental.  Just rent for a few days of a week, then talk to the owner about a monthly rate if you like the apt and want to stay longer.

Fdating seems to be popular now, with a few posters here in the past year having success with meeting women on that platform.  I am out of the search now, having married in April.  If you want, PM me on how I did it.

Cheers
Title: Re: Starting Over in 2018
Post by: Davo on November 15, 2019, 01:37:30 PM
The first thing to ask a woman who has a child is whether the father is involved with her life.   If the answer is 'yes', then she is not a suitable candidate to be dating.   Simples.   There are too many other women out there who don't have such a problem. 

Even if the father is NOT in the child's life, once they hear that the ex-wife is contemplating living overseas with their son or daughter, you can expect push back.  Or, flat out, bribery.

BoozeBaron I can answer Jone and still kind of stay on topic 😏 ..... Fdating is all you need to meet FSU women (dmnotify is also, it has a cheap monthly subscription fee). Fdating was recommended to me as a way to meet German women who wanted to converse with native English speakers to practice her English skills.  (On DM you can make this as a preference and a lot of women are there partially for this reason).

Jone, I may have mentioned this several years ago, I was planning a trip to Germany and wanted to spend time chatting with a native speaker to pick up the basics.  Unfortunately after a week of trying with a young woman, I realised I needed to start this process with a basic beginner course.

In the mean time a bisexual woman from Kaliningrad Sext me..... she wanted to know if I would like to try her “pancakes with cream”😂. After a series of escalating and very suggestive food related sext, I found she liked women more than men and there’s a bisexual and gay sub culture on fdating, especially amongst Russians. I can’t remember now, but they put some secret sign to indicate they are gay or bi in their profile.

This woman liked Australia and was interested in learning more about our culture and I in turn started developing an interest in Russian culture and she taught me a lot. After a week or two she left the site and I decided to message some Russian women and continue a similar online friendship like the bisexual woman. In the group of women I messaged was K and she covered all bases, she knew some German and also could satisfy my new found interest in Russia.

BoozeBaron, I was blown away by the reply rate on fdating I think most of the women replied and it was nothing like online dating at home, where you send 50
messages to get several replies and a date if you’re lucky..... and all the women seemed genuine (I messaged women around the same age as me, with children as I had kids also)

K replied last and because she knew some German I said goodbye to the rest and we discovered we shared a very similar life. She was married to a serial cheater and so had I. Our ex’s left us at home every weekend with the kids while they drank, partied and slept around and our oldest children were estranged from our Ex’s because they left us for their last affair partner and our kids reacted badly to this. Her daughter had very minimal contact at that stage and this occurred at the in-laws where she felt more comfortable in her dads presence. Their older son was already in Uni and hadn’t talked to his dad for over a year, like my oldest daughter with my ex.

This is where I made a mistake Jone in hindsight. At the start we were just two online pen pals supporting each other with reuniting our children with our wayward ex spouses and we were very successful. Now all of our children enjoy a great relationship with them.

When we started developing feelings for each other, the conversation regarding her ex allowing their daughter to leave the country come up several times and she was certain this would be ok. Even after my trip we discussed this and she said as long as her daughter could return several times a year she thinks her Ex will agree. Obviously her ex had other ideas on this matter.

The girl I’m meeting in a week has already told me she’s not particularly interested in leaving Russia, we are just going to have some fun in the sun, so I’ll probably be back on fdating and repeat this whole process next year if I don’t meet a nice local woman in the meantime.

Sorry for the sidetrack again BoozeBaron Good luck in your upcoming adventure, I hope it goes well for you 😁
Title: Re: Starting Over in 2018
Post by: JayH on November 15, 2019, 03:08:59 PM
The first thing to ask a woman who has a child is whether the father is involved with her life.   If the answer is 'yes', then she is not a suitable candidate to be dating.   Simples.   There are too many other women out there who don't have such a problem. 

Even if the father is NOT in the child's life, once they hear that the ex-wife is contemplating living overseas with their son or daughter, you can expect push back.  Or, flat out, bribery.

Jone -- as far as Ukraine is concerned  the law was changed last year ( 2018 -maybe 2017 ? time flies)  in relation to mothers & childrens rights -- and  it is now easier to get a more common sense legal ruling .Amongst changes in the actual law-- the process was simplified too.
Not a guarantee but not the close to impossible hurdle presented in earlier times -and still does in Russia.
Title: Re: Starting Over in 2018
Post by: HoundDaddyLee on November 15, 2019, 05:07:35 PM
Don't be so sure about this.


So we can rule out "ML" stands for "More Length"  :clapping:
Title: Re: Starting Over in 2018
Post by: krimster2 on November 15, 2019, 08:11:26 PM
from what I saw, there are GAZILLIONS of single 40ish women in Moscva of all DIFFERENT types...

you can find blue collar women, I even met a pretty street sweeper...
or sophisticated looking office workers...
or teachers, academics, technicians, medical, etc...
whatever your tastes...

there will be some English speakers, but most are only gonna ponimat russki...

if you make eye contact, ya gotta let out a big grin and be ready with a self deprecating joke
while maintaining the smile...

then let her steer the conversation into something SHE wants to talk about...

then...
after a minute of conversation, shift away from her for a bit, and see if she moves with you in response....

if she does, then you INVITE her to lunch or dinner to continue the conversation...
100% she’ll go...

the THING ya really gotta watch out for is not get played by scammers
OR, get played by a woman who wants you to marry her and you fall for her plans...

believe me, I am a guy who totally got the “deer caught in the headlights” feeling SEVERAL TIMES from when a Ukrainian or Russian woman set her sights on me...

they can turn the seduction on full blast, and ANY straight man will be quivering jelly...
the submissive downcast look, always lightly touching you, always trying to feed you, always mothering you, making sure you’re warm, etc...
this is how they slowly seduce you...
and then of course “it’s banya time”
and then you find out, you’re gonna get naked with her!

note to Trench: remember clean underwear!!!!
as a country gentleman, I have a Russian woman that I took from Ukraine do all this for me!!!!
but I know you’re likely responsible for your own undergarments, so do not overlook this issue in Ukraine or in jolly old England either!!!


Title: Re: Starting Over in 2018
Post by: msmob on November 16, 2019, 01:19:28 AM
Jone -- as far as Ukraine is concerned  the law was changed last year ( 2018 -maybe 2017 ? time flies)  in relation to mothers & childrens rights -- and  it is now easier to get a more common sense legal ruling .Amongst changes in the actual law-- the process was simplified too.
Not a guarantee but not the close to impossible hurdle presented in earlier times -and still does in Russia.

I wonder if our Jay could refrain from posting what appears to be highly misleading info?


One no longer requires the permission of both parents to travel with one parent abroad, in Russia.


"Travelling outside the Russian Federation with a child
If a child is travelling with one of their parents, the consent of the other parent is not required."

http://www.svo.aero/en/passengers/passengers-with-children (http://www.svo.aero/en/passengers/passengers-with-children)



How do I know this?

One of my Russian biz partners came to the UK with his then 16 year old son.

He DID get a notorised letter to permit his kids to fly with their Ma to visit the in-laws in Israel..

We were in Tbilisi and paid 4 USD as wifey was leaving within hours of his return and there was no time to get the letter notorised in RU.

I cannot say if this is an Israeli requirement but Jay's 'advice' is surely incorrect.



Title: Re: Starting Over in 2018
Post by: JayH on November 16, 2019, 05:13:04 AM
 :barf: :barf:
Title: Re: Starting Over in 2018
Post by: msmob on November 16, 2019, 07:39:58 AM
Your ,graceful apology'...for YET AGAIN..spouting misleading nonsense is noted, JayH.

Title: Re: Starting Over in 2018
Post by: SteveInBoston on November 16, 2019, 08:41:13 AM
Misleading.

First, the child would need an international passport, which requires the involvement of both parents to acquire, I believe.

Second, that site svo-aero, also states that one parent can notify the ministry of internal affairs to prevent the child from travelling.

Third, a 16 yr old is not considered a child and has more rights, including getting a passport on their own.
Title: Re: Starting Over in 2018
Post by: BoozeBaron on November 18, 2019, 07:59:00 PM
Glad you are the road to recovery - but think that even though you are adverse to heat - do you need ( possibly) freezing cold and thoroughly wrapped up ladies ;) ?

Why not  try out dating sites / apps and see what happens..




Holy cow! This really took off since I last logged on and penned all my woes and thoughts -I've still got another page of responses  to read yet - but wanted to thank everyone (thus far) whose chipped in with their 2 cents - I do like the Holidays over there and do like the cooler weather (cold!)  so that too is in my thinking - but 2-3 weeks on a Cruise ship too can't be all that bad for about the same cost - TBD as I've been kinda down (healthwise - not in the head) this week - hence the delay getting back to you all... Let me get caught up with the 3rd page here and see if someone's torched me for being an idiot or the likes then will try to reply best I can to all that have contributed (15 years here and still don't know how to do that reply many - multiple recipients thing still) sorry - Cheers! BB
Title: Re: Starting Over in 2018
Post by: BoozeBaron on November 18, 2019, 08:09:48 PM
How old are you BB?

Be realistic about what you offer a younger woman. If you are over 60 can you support a woman in her 30s with a child? How attractive a girl are you looking for and how attractive are you? Remember age takes a toll on all of us.

I think Fdating is a good site for you to start with, it's a free site so no subscription axe to grind from the owners of the site. Avoid scammers as per usual, anyone trying to get you over to a PPL site or asking for money. On Fdate you will tend to find the girls come up occasionally but not too frequently like you've just become a pop star, good luck! :)

Thanks Trechcoat - I haven't been on Fdate in AGES - but have added it to the list of ones I think are sound and solid to use... so will give it another go? - In thinking back, my 'issue' back then was I was like 38-42 and looking for a 30-something with a set of parameters that work best for me given my life here in America now (been traveling the world the past 2 decades, finally medical reasons stopped all that) so sold everything abroad, packed up and here I be.... But point was, most replies were 50+ and not exactly my type... Plus 'free' sites, you get like 1000 guys per ever 1 good gal - so all the 'great' ones are inundated with guys that can offer more than me at this age (something I've had to accept too - but we all do I suppose) - Anyway, just turned the speed limit (double nickle)- but look 5-10 yrs younger - Most of my US friends are 30-45 yrs old and ppl are always shocked to find out my age - but remember, I had this conversation (both with myself, and here online with I hit 50) as that's kinda the highest any agency or site wants to deal with - I actually got a rejection letter from Morrisey's Morrisons? (sp?) the one in S. Russian border right on the UA/RU boarder and Black Sea?? (the town is escaping me atm - but the gal I was interested in was from Feodosyia and they showed me the door - and that was 5 yrs ago - so can only imagine what'll it be like 'this time'... Just wanted to answer your Q's - plus I've been doing this off and on back when you needed a Visa to get into UA and done probably 25+ trips now into eastern Europe... so def not my 1st rodeo - but been sidelined with a broken heart (2013) I'm a little slower to get back up on this horse again - hope that makes some sense? Cheers - BB
Title: Re: Starting Over in 2018
Post by: BoozeBaron on November 18, 2019, 08:18:05 PM
BB --I was reading back over thread and your comments --  and had a thought--    some years ago ( quite a few in fact!)     an expensive black NZ registered car finished up in a canal on the Gold Coast - know anything about that? :)
Can I plea the 5th?? lol - It was gold - not black - and to to the best of my knowledge, is still on the road today? so many we have our wires/stories crossed? DM me if interested .. Cheers
Title: Re: Starting Over in 2018
Post by: BoozeBaron on November 18, 2019, 08:21:54 PM
I think you may have been watching too many old Kung Fu (David Carradine) episodes  , Grasshopper...

Your 'theories' have been working out SO well, for you))

YOU all won't mind if I steer clear of this one (PLEASE?) LOL - Sounds like some history here and not sure I know either of you over the past 2 decades -so gonna move on if that's okay... THANKS (Quick Hello to BillyB whilst I'm here - THANKS for the tips and encouragement) good to hear from ya! :))
Title: Re: Starting Over in 2018
Post by: BoozeBaron on November 18, 2019, 08:28:16 PM
Wife watched this video with me.
The gal kept repeating . . . Ukrainians are not racist.

Wife said:  Yes they are !!
Can your bride elaborate on that one? How did that get injected into this thread? From the video and success of black guys? (guessing) - I'm also dancing between the hand grenades some others are tossing at each other that don't pertain to me ... Moving on ... (oh, and if my guess is right - no need to explain) I get it... Cheers 
Title: Re: Starting Over in 2018
Post by: BoozeBaron on November 18, 2019, 08:40:43 PM
The first thing to ask a woman who has a child is whether the father is involved with her life.   If the answer is 'yes', then she is not a suitable candidate to be dating.   Simples.   There are too many other women out there who don't have such a problem. 

Even if the father is NOT in the child's life, once they hear that the ex-wife is contemplating living overseas with their son or daughter, you can expect push back.  Or, flat out, bribery.
Does everyone concur with this if their answer is "yes"? An going thru pages and pages of wild sh$t here and trying to scrape a few nuggets of wisdom from anything I can... If everyone is in agreement (didn't see any pushback on it - YET!) then I've added it to my "Nyet" list...
Title: Re: Starting Over in 2018
Post by: BoozeBaron on November 18, 2019, 08:43:46 PM
BoozeBaron I can answer Jone and still kind of stay on topic 😏 ..... Fdating is all you need to meet FSU women (dmnotify is also, it has a cheap monthly subscription fee). Fdating was recommended to me as a way to meet German women who wanted to converse with native English speakers to practice her English skills.  (On DM you can make this as a preference and a lot of women are there partially for this reason).

Jone, I may have mentioned this several years ago, I was planning a trip to Germany and wanted to spend time chatting with a native speaker to pick up the basics.  Unfortunately after a week of trying with a young woman, I realised I needed to start this process with a basic beginner course.

In the mean time a bisexual woman from Kaliningrad Sext me..... she wanted to know if I would like to try her “pancakes with cream”😂. After a series of escalating and very suggestive food related sext, I found she liked women more than men and there’s a bisexual and gay sub culture on fdating, especially amongst Russians. I can’t remember now, but they put some secret sign to indicate they are gay or bi in their profile.

This woman liked Australia and was interested in learning more about our culture and I in turn started developing an interest in Russian culture and she taught me a lot. After a week or two she left the site and I decided to message some Russian women and continue a similar online friendship like the bisexual woman. In the group of women I messaged was K and she covered all bases, she knew some German and also could satisfy my new found interest in Russia.

BoozeBaron, I was blown away by the reply rate on fdating I think most of the women replied and it was nothing like online dating at home, where you send 50
messages to get several replies and a date if you’re lucky..... and all the women seemed genuine (I messaged women around the same age as me, with children as I had kids also)

K replied last and because she knew some German I said goodbye to the rest and we discovered we shared a very similar life. She was married to a serial cheater and so had I. Our ex’s left us at home every weekend with the kids while they drank, partied and slept around and our oldest children were estranged from our Ex’s because they left us for their last affair partner and our kids reacted badly to this. Her daughter had very minimal contact at that stage and this occurred at the in-laws where she felt more comfortable in her dads presence. Their older son was already in Uni and hadn’t talked to his dad for over a year, like my oldest daughter with my ex.

This is where I made a mistake Jone in hindsight. At the start we were just two online pen pals supporting each other with reuniting our children with our wayward ex spouses and we were very successful. Now all of our children enjoy a great relationship with them.

When we started developing feelings for each other, the conversation regarding her ex allowing their daughter to leave the country come up several times and she was certain this would be ok. Even after my trip we discussed this and she said as long as her daughter could return several times a year she thinks her Ex will agree. Obviously her ex had other ideas on this matter.

The girl I’m meeting in a week has already told me she’s not particularly interested in leaving Russia, we are just going to have some fun in the sun, so I’ll probably be back on fdating and repeat this whole process next year if I don’t meet a nice local woman in the meantime.

Sorry for the sidetrack again BoozeBaron Good luck in your upcoming adventure, I hope it goes well for you 😁
  Cheers Davo  - I need to digest this one... Gonna sleep on all this info you've shared, if that's OK?? ta - BB
Title: Re: Starting Over in 2018
Post by: jone on November 18, 2019, 08:48:42 PM
It is even more involved than that.   Assuming the woman you are hooking up with has a child, and says that the father is not in the child's life and gives 'full permission' to travel and live overseas, you should note that this is NOT always the case.   It is the one fatal flaw in many relationships.   And the women know this.   So, even though she says that the father is not in the child's life, it is important to be ever watchful for indicators that he is.

Over the years we've read stories of women faking their child's father's documents so that the child could leave the country.   After all, if the father is not involved, then why should he ever complain?  Right?

When I was in Mykolaiv, I dated a gal who was very beautiful and sweet and fun.   But I heard how she shared custody of her child with the father and the father's family, and could not imagine that they would ever let that child out of the country.   In the end, she found someone locally and married him (I think.)
Title: Re: Starting Over in 2018
Post by: BoozeBaron on November 18, 2019, 09:07:35 PM
NOTED... The only (and massive) difference is, your "Ops" is up and running 100% lining up meetings, dates, conversing etc... I'm 15 miles behind ya with all that - truly starting from square 1 and the first thing I noticed (besides me now being older) is the pickings are slimmer.. Not as many sites or agencies (am sure "this" had to eventually run its course from way back in the days when AWeb were busing sex tours thru there weekly burning a very bad path for the "nice guys" who are sincere with both intent and desire) ... Digressing... Where or what resources are you using now to meet new ladies?? Also "Social Media" (VK IG, etc) it doesn't take much to reverse image search to find someone and pry them away from a greedy agency - but point is; "dating sites" targeting western men - for good or evil - at least relocating should be implied... the 3rd Q i always ask is "why they're searching abroad and/or if they're open to a new life abroad"? THAT answer will tell you everything thing you need to know for a first step...

RE: Russian women are masters of "figuring you out" and your desires... then becoming that person you desire to a T... (you explained it better or someone did) but is oh so very true... Point is, you gotta get down to motive and intent without appearing overly eager or gawd forbid, desperate/needy... They want a man - just like in UK, Oz, NZ, America - 8 years of learning Russian (but not telling them right away) helps more than you'll ever know :) Cheers -
Title: Re: Starting Over in 2018
Post by: msmob on November 19, 2019, 03:29:29 AM
Misleading.

First, the child would need an international passport, which requires the involvement of both parents to acquire, I believe.

Second, that site svo-aero, also states that one parent can notify the ministry of internal affairs to prevent the child from travelling.

Third, a 16 yr old is not considered a child and has more rights, including getting a passport on their own.

Hi Steve,

My biz partner's daughter is 14 and no permission was required from him (Dad)  for her ( daughter) to journey with Ma to Israel from the Russians

They do the trip once a year - neither the Israelis or Russians needed / asked for permission from the father - even though they had the notoriSed letter.







Title: Re: Starting Over in 2018
Post by: Patagonie on November 19, 2019, 04:24:08 AM
The first thing to ask a woman who has a child is whether the father is involved with her life.   If the answer is 'yes', then she is not a suitable candidate to be dating.   Simples.   There are too many other women out there who don't have such a problem. 

Even if the father is NOT in the child's life, once they hear that the ex-wife is contemplating living overseas with their son or daughter, you can expect push back.  Or, flat out, bribery.

 
This a big problem that can push your story to be a train wreck. 
And this is a question that had to find some answers, early in the relationship.  What is the relationship with the ex? 
Could he block you like Davo?   
Could he expect money to sign the document ? 
Personaly i had the chance to deal with a smart man, BUT i did everything possible to make the first steps.
For example :  ex wifey didn't want him to be at the marriage. I wanted him to be there. I respected this man every minute from the beginning and he damned know it, proof we were in the night club with his wife three days ago and he paid the bill! could'nt zaplatit dengue
Ok, not all FSU men are smart and wise, that's the point. But try to convince this man that you are worthy (and what you have to offer) for his child and it could work.
I included in the matrix from the scratch and it worked.
Title: Re: Starting Over in 2018
Post by: msmob on November 19, 2019, 05:13:53 AM
When I first met V her son was already 17 and Dad and she shared residency .. 

He eventually lived with us full-time

The father send him party presents but would have been just as happy to see his lad in the RU army and trained up for a trade - rather than attending UNi in ?Oxford ..

Most Soviet era women had kids young - so it wasn't hard to find a 37 year old Mother with a 17 year old son and no issue re Dad

Title: Re: Starting Over in 2019/2020
Post by: BoozeBaron on November 19, 2019, 12:34:19 PM
Hey Guys (gals?) -
Can anyone update me as to Dan, the owner of this site?? (either here or offline in private?) as we're both from CO - but know he kinda went off the grid for a few years - and am starting to fear the worst - as I too have been away from RWD for almost a year - so dunno what's become of him?

That said - I used to Mod this site for over 10 yrs but then 'life' got in the way, and relinquished my duties - That said, can someone direct me to the current MOD for this thread? I just have a request.... Thanks for any info -
All that said - I need a few FINAL favours please (or requests) then I'll wrap this thread/OP up - I used to have an AWESOME US/UA letter translator here in the US (married an American, divorced, remarried, and would do my in and outbound letter translations but also would offer up advice as to 'tone' of letters I'd get back and she'd give me her opinion if the gal sounded sincere or not? - So now, I am in need of that same type of person - both someone that can do basic letter translations for me - but also 'advise' me when a reply comes in and if she feels I'm just getting a generic form letter reply - or something that was written from the heart or not? (nothing is full-proof and anyone can be deceived) - but as I rebuild my Baltic/Russian/UA 'team' before embarking on my next trip - after signing up on FDate last night It dawned on me that I will def need translation help if I should get letters in "Russian" (Ukrainian/Belorussian) - so those of you that have years and years of contacting and writing ladies before progressing onto Skype or face to face mtgs - can someone suggest a US-based person who can help me with these translations AND someone who is willing to spend 15 mins of their day to speak with me via phone to outline my objectives and what I seek from them and if we agree that my objective (e.g. the type of gal I seek - and her core values, morals and characteristics) line up with my desires and that she/he fully understands that ones that are "party girls" or ones that aren't interested in family I don't wanna waste my time on/with... so need her to act as a 'filter' for me when there's words or phrasing that's beyond my language skill-level..... Fair?

2nd - is that my last UA trip was landing in KBP then flew down to ODS for 21 days - where the 'agency' I was using to meet these gals (and were writing back to me expressing allot of interest) - the SECOND I told them "hey, I'm in Odesa on the Black Sea beach watching the fireworks right now - Let's get together for coffee/tea some Noon (if they weren't working or studying) and chat some while watching the fireworks later tonight if things go well? All but 2 flat out said "No" over that 21 day stay -AND- when I approached my '5 star' agency for "ground support" to help drum up more contacts or line up any dates or suggestions for dinners or theatre or whatever (date ideas) they had NOTHING to offer me - NOTHING! I'm like WTH an I paying you guys for??? (You had to pay $100/per gal to get her contact info and pass the US background check so that's what the $100 was supposedly for - yet once we met and I asked about this, none of them had received MY info or background check... So needless to say I had some stern words with that agency, then promptly sacked them b/c they had nothing to offer me 'on the ground' in Kiev or Odesa (or heaven forbid, I went looking outside the major cities, then I'm really flying solo there) - Now the one good thing I'll say is that once we got around the agency BS and met and talked - we shut the restaurant down at 2AM and we were together for 19 months and eventually engaged to be married after 7x trips back in 2013 - So it CAN work... Anyone that was here around when I was penning my Trip Report knows why I ended things (hardest thing I ever did b/c to me, she was perfect) and she did allot for me that not even A/W would ever dream of doing... UA women (the good ones) are just amazing - which is why I'm back here looking for help to reengage after a 5 year absence - Without naming 2 agency names - does anyone have anything to say about the Agency in the Poltava area led by an Italian guy and his UA wife? Trustworthy? There's a New Zealand agency that may not even be in biz anymore as they had many issues with other agencies they'd partnered with that kinda screwed them and us male clients over - so think I'll have to scratch that one off the list despite talking to the owner in Auckland several times...

But back on topic - None of the the gals that said they were interested in meeting me - once I said "hey, I'm here now, let's meet now?!" - But as said, pretty much everyone of them declined with some BS excuse - which tells me that agency was paying their girls just to write guys and had no true interest in finding a western guy or a serious relationship - And my suggestions to meet and talk (even said use your own agency Terp of their choosing and their own taxi service, etc... whatever makes you 100% comfy) -I'd still get shot down ... Not b/c I was suggesting anything inappropriate (anyone who knows me knows that my morals and values are above reproach) and would like to think my heart is in the right place and have nothing but the purest of intentions - plus only other people can judge us and if we're (I'm) worthy of such high praise or not?- And yes, while I do have an ego - only others can judge us and our character and how we act in public... Why do I say all this? because as I watch Day 3 of this Ukraine stuff on TV and "corruption" - Lies, stealing, and misrepresentations are just a way of life in Ukraine - so it's kind of an uphill battle and one more hurdle of building trust we must clear to get even a coffee date... and to get gals to understand that you're truly sincere and serious about finding your other half in life and not looking just to get into her pants... Mmmmmkay?

So let me land the plane here, as I've prattled on too much here as it is - but just to reiterate, I need a US-based letter translator that's fair and trustworthy and insightful... (2) An agency or match maker in EUROPE (ANYWHERE (UA/RU/BEL/ANY COUNTRY ENDING IN -STAN THAT'S ORTHODOX CHRISTIAN BASED) that provides ground support should things with "Plan A or B" go pear shaped... Again, I always have a backup plan... but you can only do so much plus I'm NOT a WMVM type - but maybe need to look at that approach? (so that's why I asked about the POLTAVA agency who has like a 5-7 day tour and sets up meeting dozens of gals) but we all know most show up for the free food, or free night out, or worse, are "pro daters" that are impossible to suss out if you have 30 guys and 300 gals to identify?? - no agency can discern a guy or gals true intentions and motives - which is why i typically fly solo and find the gals I like doing my own legwork and research - but this time i need a bigger pool of gals to select from as time is short to book things (assuming they're interested in me too) - but if things should go off the rails, I don't wanna waste a trip for just 1 gal should things not go to plan...
Sorry again for the long post - I'm working - watching this Impeachment thing plus trying to plan my Christmas/NY holidays ....So any help here or abroad (I'm open to other countries besides UA) but obviously know that best - so whatever works...
I do have a Q in regards to Crimea as I had someone contact me from there - What's the procedure NOW to cross the 'border' from say Odessa into Yalta/Crimea now that it's under Russian control? Do I need to get a RU ViSA? as I need to submit that like NOW if it is needed?
Many thanks to all -


Best -

BB
Title: Re: Starting Over in 2018
Post by: jone on November 19, 2019, 12:47:08 PM
Boy,

You put a load in one post.   Simply put, it seems you're barking up the wrong tree (had to use the visual - sorry). 

Others can direct you regarding Dan and the Mod team.   But I can tell you that you are ten years behind the times of meeting women.   Your attempts to use a PPC or PPL site will only backfire.   Those gals are there to make money.  Go to a subscription site or a free site.  Then the motivation is less direct and the interest you have from women is more genuine.

I have used Elena's Models in the past and had success.   Others use FDating or other like sites.   If you are looking for a TERP or an Agency, I believe you are putting the cart before the horse and will fail.   You need to get your feet on the ground and having someone simply there to suck money out of your pocket will not get you where you need to be.   Whether you are Visit Many or a Visit One kinda guy, you will have much more success if you get away from the agency mentality.  Contact these women directly.  But with a different method than what you appear to be using. 

Most of these gals have English capability and those that don't have friends.  But without interaction with the women in advance, you are doomed to failure.

Luck!
Title: Re: Starting Over in 2018
Post by: Patagonie on November 19, 2019, 01:20:02 PM
Baron i remember you.
I could, i would help you so you can come back to the saddle. I have a quite extensive dating experience in FSU using a lot of tools.
I think that i got what you want to say, but would recommand to make shorter posts, because it's hard to swallow.
I Would more redirect you to the Karkov/Poltava area, you have missed the shoot with ODS last time, it's obvious.
Send me a PM and we will give you my skype nickname or viber or whatsapp because i prefer real communication. I could also maybe find you a terp. It will need some money but you know FSU.
Title: Re: Starting Over in 2018
Post by: Trenchcoat on November 19, 2019, 05:55:15 PM
BB, thanks I read your response to my question over the page. So you were around the age I am now 38-42, incidentally 38 was about the age I first met my first date in the FSU abroad in Kiev, I'm now 41 at present. If you're now around 50 then you will have to think what you are looking for, what you have to offer, where best to go and what you want in life.

FDate I didn't like at first, I originally used Elena's Models, after a few years I realised that FDate was giving me the true reflection of what genuine interest there is. I didn't like it at irst as I was not getting nearly the level of interest O wa on EM. I know now that is because EM uses feeder agencies along with individual girls posting their profiles up. The feeder agencies on their exist to boost the interest a guy gets to make it look that loads of girls are up for it with him, like you're a rock star. You can meet genuine girls on there but it takes about the same time as FDate which is free. It's just a question of waiting for the feeder agency girls to drop out or get removed from the site (to be replaced by other feeder agency girls no doubt). Of course the odd scammer girl can be found anywhere.

Your trip to Odessa reminds me of the book, 'Odessa Dreams' BB. You will find it on Amazon to read on Kindle for a small price. I recommend it as a worthy read and will show you why girls all of a sudden don't turn up from agencies when you're in town.

Now for the love of God BB you don't need a terp, you need to get Independant of all of that stuff or you will be taken for a ride. These days online translation websites can translate for you, 'Google Translate' is one such site. They are much better than in the past, still not perfect but you'll get a very good idea of what the letter says and will be able to read between the lines of any odd sentence that didn't quite fully translate well.

Picking up experience of whether a girl is being genuine her letter, the tone of the letter and what it reveals of the girl is something you need to learn and is best if not only done by experience and doing it yourself. Basic advice is if a girl's letter is full of lovelyness and telling you how wonderful you are from the outset without ever meeting you then it's likely to be dodgy.

I think it's great you're giving this another try BB, I'm not one for giving up on stuff because it's not easy either. I briefly looked into dating in Ukraine back around 2008 so know what it was like back then, even since 2013 things have moved on a bit. Free sites like Fdate are still good, especially to get back into the swing of things. Stuff is beginning to move on though, Pat can tell you more on this. Surface to say that a smart phone is pretty essential these days (I assume you have one?) as so much is on them including mostvofvtge essential communication with the women. Agencies still exist but there kind of like wearing flares in the 80's, just well out of date and the dumping ground of scamming. I'm sure there might be the odd one or two out there that may be ok, even good but unless you're certain Zi wouldn't trust them.

Tours may be worth a shot but definitely avoid any PPL sites as well, there well past their used by date also and again a dumping ground for scammers and in many cases one and the same as agencies. Hope this helps :)
Title: Re: Starting Over in 2018
Post by: jone on November 19, 2019, 06:30:13 PM
In defense of Elena's Models, I received 100% interest from the women I contacted.   Some people on here have stated that Elena's uses feeder agencies to stock their numbers - but if they are, they are legitimately interested women.  And, I still fail to see how the feeder agencies get paid.   The subscription fees are not significant enough to matter.

I contacted twenty women on this site and wound up dating two of them, both long term.  Trench believes what he wants to believe.   But he has not been successful in this endeavor.  So I would take everything he says with a grain of salt.   He gives opinions on things he knows absolutely nothing about and wonders why he strikes out so often.   When he does manage to get a woman to meet with him, he zips up his coin purse and makes his date go Dutch Treat.

My belief is he never paid the subscription fee so he never found out if the girls were legit or not. 

I believe, on Elena's, that over 90% of the women are actually looking for a man.  A couple are scammers.   But I have heard from other members that Elena Petrova quickly kicks anyone off her site who is suspect.

Hey.  Don't trust me on Trench.   Read what the other members say about him.

There are many avenues to find women on MOB sites.   But don't discount Elena's because Trench wrote a bad review about her site.   Any site that Trench disses, I would consider an endorsement.
Title: Re: Starting Over in 2018
Post by: msmob on November 19, 2019, 09:42:18 PM
BB

1/ Do not pay attention to one word Trench posts as 'advice' ...unless failing is your aim..(

2/ I would not consider crossing from Ukraine to occupied Crimea.

You will need a special document from Kyiv to get permission to visit .The crossing will involve lots of questioning and you do not speak Russian.

Better to visit Crimea via Russia, but then if UA knows, you might be refused entry...((

3/ I am NOT a 'fan' of VM, so forget a backup plan, unless your target goes wrong.

Good luck



 
Title: Re: Starting Over in 2018
Post by: Patagonie on November 20, 2019, 01:20:23 AM
Didn't read this one.
Absolutely forget about Crimea and forget this chick for ever.
Someone contact you from there? Too risky, to much problems,
No Baron avoid this shit and delete this region from your dating area.
Title: Re: Starting Over in 2018
Post by: rwd123 on November 20, 2019, 02:53:34 AM
Personally I'd avoid Crimea, Donbas and impacted areas.

Not just because of logistics to visit, but also potential mental health issues, and (lack of) access to their families that remain in the region. You may also be up for extended family relocation costs down the track, not just for a wife. There are many ponds, pick another one to swim in IMO.
Title: Re: Starting Over in 2018
Post by: BoozeBaron on November 20, 2019, 04:14:09 AM
Wowsers... A lot of great advice and will cut my posts down in the future after this one. I did say I was long winded at times but will try to be better about that. Sorry

Am on an iPhone XS Max now, so “yes” am “familiar” with tech and such. Been to Eastern Europe over 50 times for biz and my now ex fiancé (ironically was Russian born but family moved to UA) but Google Marussia Auto and Food divisions along w/RU Standard Vodka and you’ll understand better how/why I have the nickname that I do on here. FWIW I’ve NEVER in 19 years ever shared or admitted that. Just want to give the new folk who don’t know me a lil background.

One point I wish to clear up ASAP. I NEVER EVER EVER use/used PPL/PPV sites or agencies. !!!!!! A lesson I learned 15+ years ago from Dan and many others. Am on EM and now on Fdating as of last night. So we’ll see? I’ll reboot my EM profile with current info and new pix etc and see?? But my point about an agency was not b/c I want to use one - but if I fly in within the next 5 weeks, I have zero contacts there now simply because I’ve been away from the game so long. It’d be nice to have ONE honest contact/guide. Typically I always fly solo. Time is changing things this time around. Maybe Cancun is a better option?

Not familiar with VM? Did you mean VK? I said I use that to find out if gals have an active RU BF or is truly single. Not to hook up.

Re: Terps - I totally agree w/that assessment as well but find mtg a new gal if she knows little English and is hedging, I’ll then hire a private terp that she knows for a first date but then jettison her to a taxi (the terp) after an hour .. but having her there helps break the ice or if we get hung up on a word or phrase/topic, the terp can help us decipher where it went off the rails. It’s just a comfort thing for my date. But the sooner gone, the better. Spiritual matters are kinda important to me. So one first date I asked the terp to ask her what she thought about XYZ (don’t recall exactly now how I phrased it) but the terp asked then turned to me and went “boom” and mad an exploding gesture. I thought a moment and then said “Big Bang”?? She said “Da”! Yet gosh 9 months later at their Christmas church service, she was very solemn, sensitive, teary eyed. And I’m like WTF? You don’t believe any of this stuff?! ... and she stormed out offended. (Here we go yet again!) I said on our very first date that I asked you what you believed in and you said “the Big Bang theory” and she shook her head and said No, I never said this!?! I believe in God. So guys, check your terps credentials and ABILITIES very carefully. Glad we got that sorted out even if it took a year!?!

FYI my last terp misspoke or translated my fiancé’s mother’s Question to me at dinner during our engagement dinner with the entire family (her parents agd grandparent didn’t know a lick of English) and so I answered the question loud and proud (it was around “love”) that the TERP had asked me but she then said “you want me to tell them that??? And I’m like yeah why not? And before I could put 2and2 together that she f’d up - she blurted out my response as “the answer” and everyone got up and left!!! (Offended) I’m like WTF just happened?? So I then grabbed the owner of the restaurant (as I’d set this family meal up a week in advance) and then dragged her mum, my GF, the terp all back w/ me into the kitchen and played the “what did you think you asked me?” game. Then once I got the CORRECT translation, I answered that correctly and we all had a good laugh and festivities resumed. But that’s one of the many examples of terps getting it wrong and f’ing up a beautiful night ahd relationship.

Lastly, I’ve been learning Russian, Polish and Czech for 13 years now. But never let on that I know RU till later. It’s very handy (didn’t know it as well when the terp screwed up above-But knew enough that she’d gotten something wrong) that’s why I just need 1 person to occasionally throw things up against the wall with (sanity check if you will) to make sure I’m not being taken for a ride. Obviously if I’m having dinner celebrating our engagement with her mom and dad, I’m capable of getting a gal and moving things forward over 19 months. Again, I explained some of why it ended in my T/R but stopped writing when idiots said I’d lost control of the situation - or something to that effect. And decided clearly it wasn’t doing anyone any good by spilling my guts and failure isn’t an option in my word, yet do it daily. We all do. Yet I always land on my feet. I come here to learn and yeah I’ll take a scolding if I did something idiotic. But I’m no noobie plus most here do not know me and didn’t know her.  But for almost 3 yrs i chased this gal down (I was in London at that time and would fly into KBP for £89 on B/A once a month to keep our romance alive. Maybe someday I’ll post the Xmas  video she made for me which included not just friends and family. But coworkers and her parents. FYI, everyone says she’s Taylor Swifts twin, but better looking. And was. I think too that stung the most that an average joe like me, threw my heart into it and landed the girl. She fell head over feels and we talked/Skyped daily. Total investment over 3 years? £3,500. (Not inc ring that I got back) I challenge anyone to find that at that cost. And that is not a brag or boast, I’m just saying I’m very careful with my funds and I’m very selective AB out who I invest time in. She could’ve landed Brad Pitt  but our relationship was different. She would scream joyfully (out of disbelief or shock) every single time I opened the door or held it open for her. Or pulled her chair out at dinner and helped with her coat. Lil stuff like that BLEW HER MIND and  made her feel like she was a queen and the centre of my world. I was the perfect gentleman. And I got the prize. Almost. Too many others got in our heads and I foolishly tapped the brakes. In hindsight fighting cancer and going thru chemo and 4 spine surgeries plus cancer surgery (w/one more to go) I now thank God we didn’t marry b/c she’d have been stuck with a very sick dude. And was touch and go for awhile there. She didn’t   sign up for that. Better or worse even has limits. So in the end, guess it’s for the best.


I said I’d be brief? Ugh. Sorry again. I’ll shuddup.

As said; Failure is not an Option. Yes I’m 5-10 years behind the times which is exactly WHY I came back on here for advice. I don’t know Trench so let’s just “live and let live” aye?  I’ve got no reason to bash him but wasn’t born yesterday either. This is supposed to be a brotherhood yet y’all took up 2 of my 4 pages bashing him. I don’t even know the guy but not getting in the middle of your arguments. Others here know me and heard my tale so many times now they rightfully are probably steering clear just to not have to endure my lengthy missives!!! 😂 Must work on that!!
Okay.
Thanks again guys. If anything else springs to mind (as all of you kinda went off in 4 different directions with your thoughts and advice) I’m gonna kinda pick thru what I agree with or what has worked well for me in the past. Cool? Hope so!

Those that wrote more than 1 line and read my War and Peace novel and story. That means allot. So thanks again. I fail allot but always land on my feet. Lessons learned. Just need to know the “new rules”. Cheers and best to all. BB


PS: (to the guy above offering services? I’ll DM you later in the week and we’ll discuss. Need time to think about that and where I wanna go and my next steps. Cheers though 👍🏻)
Title: Re: Starting Over in 2018
Post by: BoozeBaron on November 20, 2019, 04:34:52 AM
Personally I'd avoid Crimea, Donbas and impacted areas.

Not just because of logistics to visit, but also potential mental health issues, and (lack of) access to their families that remain in the region. You may also be up for extended family relocation costs down the track, not just for a wife. There are many ponds, pick another one to swim in IMO.
thanks to all of you about Donbass and Crimea. Had NO idea that things had gotten that bad. Nik is in Crimea, right? So are those agencies shut now? I’m just thinking of the one guy I kinda knew. Mark somebody who met his gal there that had an agency there. Nik was always pretty good to me. But is off limits now? Shame. Like I said in my very first note, I was 15 clicks from all that (Donbass) Drove an Avis rental car to and back from KBP. Yes I have balls!! 😂 (I had an idea about a “confrontation”. But no
Idea how severe it was (So I’m totally joking about the having balls part). No idea I was that close to a war zone but that was 6 yrs ago too and don’t think outside of the shoot em up in Kiev that things on the eastern front had escalated that bad to what they are today.  Never even considered the mental health aspect too. Wise bunch here! 👍🏻
Title: Re: Starting Over in 2018
Post by: BoozeBaron on November 20, 2019, 04:38:14 AM
Thanks for the book reference (I’m seeing things I missed) so will check it out. Ta. 👍🏻
Title: Re: Starting Over in 2018
Post by: msmob on November 20, 2019, 05:16:58 AM
Mykolaiv (also known as Nikolaev ) is not in Crimea ! ;)

(http://d39raawggeifpx.cloudfront.net/styles/16_9_desktop/s3/articleimages/bneGeneric_Ukraine_map_Crimea_google_maps_Cropped_.jpg)

Look to the north and west !
Title: Re: Starting Over in 2018
Post by: Trenchcoat on November 20, 2019, 05:48:47 AM
In defense of Elena's Models, I received 100% interest from the women I contacted.   Some people on here have stated that Elena's uses feeder agencies to stock their numbers - but if they are, they are legitimately interested women.  And, I still fail to see how the feeder agencies get paid.   The subscription fees are not significant enough to matter.

I contacted twenty women on this site and wound up dating two of them, both long term.  Trench believes what he wants to believe.   But he has not been successful in this endeavor.  So I would take everything he says with a grain of salt.   He gives opinions on things he knows absolutely nothing about and wonders why he strikes out so often.   When he does manage to get a woman to meet with him, he zips up his coin purse and makes his date go Dutch Treat.

My belief is he never paid the subscription fee so he never found out if the girls were legit or not. 

I believe, on Elena's, that over 90% of the women are actually looking for a man.  A couple are scammers.   But I have heard from other members that Elena Petrova quickly kicks anyone off her site who is suspect.

Hey.  Don't trust me on Trench.   Read what the other members say about him.

There are many avenues to find women on MOB sites.   But don't discount Elena's because Trench wrote a bad review about her site.   Any site that Trench disses, I would consider an endorsement.

I'm sure you did Jone, 100 percent interest and you didn't think that strange? If you've got Hollywood celebrity looks then that might explain it ;)

I'm not saying don't use EM to BB, nor that you cannot find a genuine woman on there. Like I said the first woman I went to meet was if there and she was fine enough.

EM is a good enough site to use but BB should be aware of the negatives of such a site and how they operate. During my time there I got quite a lot of likes on my photo, contacted by women, expressions of interest and otherwise. It is not natural though for me to receive that level of interest, I'm an everyday looking guy, I'm not a male model 8-10 looks wise.

The way EM tended to work when I was there was that say out of every 10 women you communicated with 8 to 9 out of 10 would reply, maybe they all might. Of those left you can say maybe 6 would have odd communication, patchy, inconsistent, stuff not quite making sense, talking at you rather than to you - about themselves, etc. So over the course of say about three months they would tail off after a few weeks, not be worth getting back to or not respond back to you. As it got nearer to three months I would get messages from EM admin that so and so profile had been deleted because something had been flagged up, etc. More than 50 percent of the girls I was communicating to ended up this way.

Of the few 3 or 4 that are left, 1 or 2 would tail off over time or I would tail them off as I did not have enough time to keep up on the messaging, but they seemed legit enough. Another 1 to 2 would decide either I wasn't that into them or maybe they would decide they wasn't that into me. So after a few months I would generally be down to one solid woman. So yes it is possible to meet a girl through EM and no doubt for some end up successful. All I am saying is how it works, the downsides of using EM.

The subscription fees are fairly high compared to some of their competitors, it might keep some men away on the other hand it is a site that is more accessible to newcomers. Some profile might well be from scammer girls but I get the impression some agencies are getting some sort of contract to provide profiles and write to guys to get interest up, at least initially to newcomers. Maybe they do it during downtime periods in these agencies. It stands to reason if a site like EM can make guys feel good about themselves work will spread and guys will be happy to subscribe.
Title: Re: Starting Over in 2018
Post by: msmob on November 20, 2019, 06:28:01 AM
As ever, Trenchie,

You make the mistake of giving marks out of 10 for ladies / yourself.. 

We have a another member that rates his wife 10 and probably thinks  we 'agree' with him ...  ( if we don't respond )  - in my case I simply face palm my forehead ...

ALL that matters is what YOU think of her and she thinks of you ..


All this EM Expression of interest BS ... BLOODY IRRITATING ....

I wrote to who I wanted and asked ladies to write me a letter - as EoI's would be ignored - and they were ..it's MEANINGLESS and if a lady cannot be bothered to introduce herself ( via a letter )  - or I never wrote to her ...  She wasn't in the game, anyway ..

To those that 'get off' on EoI's - all I can say is you're probably still lookin', right ...?


WHAT a 'surprise'


 











Title: Re: Starting Over in 2018
Post by: BoozeBaron on November 21, 2019, 12:38:10 AM
Thanks for refreshing my memory with the Map. At first when I saw your “Crimea (or Ukraine?) Flag” (the red marker thingy). My heart sank because I thought that was where you were saying Nik was but seemed too far south and too central than I last recalled? But then read your note and viola it’s where I remembered after all. Just couldn’t recall which side of the border it fell on?! Last time I was there a gal came to Odessa and we hung there for the day then went back to Nik via her “brothers taxi” which cost me a months mortgage payment (hence me always trying to set the agenda and travels with ppl I know and trust) as at first I was thoroughly convinced once they got to me in Odesa they were gonna roll me. But at 6’3” / 222lbs and former rugby / football 🏈 player I don’t get much hassle in clubs or on the streets. But you just never know in Eastern Europe. Either way, thanks. That opens another familiar door as an option. Sadly rules out Alushta and Yalta but think I saw that coming after seeing all the very strong and unified  posts on how difficult it is to get into Crimea and maybe not getting out. Shame that.

Thanks again ! (This is Shorter!)

Peace.

BB
Title: Re: Starting Over in 2018
Post by: krimster2 on November 21, 2019, 10:02:01 AM
some lessons for you guys...
I know of three Americans who were “beaten up” in Crimea..
one of them used to post on this board, scotincrimea
all three situations involved the use of alcohol...
any time you are around a bunch of drunk Russians, at a bar for instance...
it increases the chances that YOUR time in the barrel may come...
YOU just reduced your OWN safety by unwisely choosing a dangerous location!
and here you are with a bunch of drunk aggressive men
and you are CLEARLY not one of THEM!
you are an obvious foreigner to a race of xenophobes...
so whadda ya think's gonna happen in that circumstance hmmmmmmmmm.......

maybe some 20 yr malchick nursing a single vodka doesn’t like to see you a 50 yr old American with a smokin hot deavochka while he sulks in the corner by himself
and he gets resentful when he sees how much money you're spending...
or maybe some guy is wondering if you’re the kind of foreigner who always keeps his cash with him in a moneybelt....
combined with a bunch of drunks, what could possibly go wrong?
alcohol just seems to act as a catalyst for this kinda thing

whatever the reason the predator’s strategy is ALWAYS the same...
you gonna get bushwacked from outta nowhere and sucker-punched and down you go moy brat...
what a sad story....

ok...
but it doesn’t have to be that way....

avoid the dangerous places like bars and night clubs
especially on a Friday or Saturday at the beginning of the month right after military gets paid and they hit the bars!!!!

never drink alone in a restaurant or bar...

have some basic fighting skills and weapons
I carry a folding knife and a padlock that I use as brass knuckles...

I also have a homemade hand canon that I pack in Moscva
which is a Russian Military issued 26.5mm flare pistol...
which I have converted into a sawed off shotgun
my next trip I’m planning on buying a second, so that I can have a “brace” of hand canons
my wife has a Russian passport and drivers license, so she bought me a box of “Baikal” shotgun shells for skeet shooting....
I opened up the 26.5mm flare cartridges and took out the flare and removed the perforated seal over the powder cup, then I added the powder from one of the shotgun shells, and put the wad and flare back in and then sealed the end with elmer’s glue...
I also made some that instead of the flare, I put in 2 shotgun shells of powder, then a big cardboard wad, and then the pellets from the two shotgun shells, with more wads and then glued around the edges....

maximum range in terms of accuracy is maybe 5 feet....
you just point it at your opponents face and pull the trigger....
and it’ll look like a lawnmower mowed it....
recoil was SHARP, a big SHOCK that felt like catching a line drive hit by a powerful major league player, followed by a strong stinging sensation in my hand...

you can buy these flare guns and ammo at almost ANY marina in Moscva for about $200 (you don't need Russian ID to buy, but you will have to show your passport, I always get someone else to buy!)
and 12 ga shotgun shells in Moscva sporting stores are no problem either to anyone with Russian ID for less than $20

dewd, two short barrel 6 gauge single barrel shotguns, is all yur ever gonna need in Russia
just the fear factor when you pull it out is usually enuff....

last summer, I was in a boat crew in Moscva with my "company", and the dewds we raced against and BEAT gave us gruff in the parking lot
which escalated into fists being swung by the younger guys...
when I see my boss's son get pounced on I came up behind the guy and sucker punched him and pinned his arms so jr could take a swing at him...
I let Jr be the big hero decking the guy in front of Daddy, who couldn't be prouder...
so now I sit on the right side of the table...
this is why someone like me always does well in Moscva
different rules for this kinda fight, everyone is oligarch, so NO weapons, fists only...
and when the boss says "fsyo paschlee" it stops and we all go...
but now the boss knows who will be the first to protect his boy "in the right way"
the Moscva fenya way

I am still not a "made man" because of my citizenship issue, but that's going to change!
Russian government has shown me WAY more love than either USA or Israel on behalf of the work that I have done....
loyalty is a 2 way street, and the USA and Israel suck at it...
Russia doesn't!!
they understand how loyalty works...
a reward system!!  points!!!
hmmmm yummy!

Title: Re: Starting Over in 2018
Post by: ML on November 21, 2019, 10:23:22 AM
  Nik is in Crimea, right? So are those agencies shut now?

How can we believe anything that you write?

Especially along with your claim of having been to that area many, many times !!!!!
Title: Re: Starting Over in 2018
Post by: krimster2 on November 21, 2019, 01:00:31 PM
back pre 2014, you could drive from Odessa and head east to Mykolaiv, and take the M14 and then follow the E97 down to Oleshky and then head over to Zhankoi in Krim...

it’d actually be kinda hard to know where crimean peninsula started and the Ukrainian mainland ended just from your own observations, it all looked the same to me!!!!
the territory doesn’t match the map....
so ya gotta have a map....
ya just gotta...
Title: Re: Starting Over in 2018
Post by: msmob on November 21, 2019, 05:59:47 PM
How can we believe anything that you write?



That's 'harsh', ML..

I believe you when you intimate you  had a novel way of avoiding feeling sleepy after a meal.
Title: Re: Starting Over in 2018
Post by: BillyB on November 21, 2019, 06:57:32 PM

I carry a folding knife and a padlock that I use as brass knuckles...

I also have a homemade hand canon that I pack in Moscvawhich is a Russian Military issued 26.5mm flare pistol...which I have converted into a sawed off shotgun

my wife has a Russian passport and drivers license,


I am imagine somewhere in Moscow a mafia dude is explaining to his boss he got his ass kicked by a passport and drivers license wielding woman.
Title: Re: Starting Over in 2018
Post by: krimster2 on November 22, 2019, 01:47:07 AM
I can imagine somewhere there's a dewd who could benefit from a remedial reading class at the local adult education center....