Time for some Humor!!

[2tallbill]

Ironic..........

[2tallbill]

Your lucky day............

[2tallbill]

cooking socks............

[2tallbill]

the hazzards of beauty.............

[2tallbill]

Charley Brown.............

[2tallbill]

whoooooppps........

[2tallbill]

women always make these rules for us..................

[2tallbill]

DADDY'S GONNA EAT YOUR FINGERS

I was packing for my business trip and my three year old daughter was having a wonderful time playing on the bed. At one point she said,"Daddy, look at this" , and stuck out two of her fingers.

Trying to keep her entertained, I reached out and stuck her tiny fingers in my mouth and said,
"Daddy's gonna eat your fingers,"
pretending to eat them.

I went back to packing, looked up again and my daughter was standing on the bed staring at her fingers with a devastated look on her face.

I said, "What's wrong, honey?"

She replied,
"What happened to my booger?"

[acrzybear]

for you Bill

[2tallbill]

One Friday, two women were sitting and talking.
One woman looked up and saw her husband coming down the street with a bunch of flowers in his hand.

She rolled her eyes and said, “Here comes the asshole with flowers in his hand. Now he'll expect me to spend the weekend on my back with my legs in the air.”

'Oh?' said her friend, “Don't you have a vase?”

[2tallbill]

IRISH PROSTITUTE
 
 
 An Irish daughter had not been home for over five years.  Upon her return, her father greeted her, "Where have ye been all this time?  Why did ye not write to us, even a line?  Why didn't ye call?  Can ye not understand what ye put yer old mum thru?"
 
 The girl, crying, replied, "Father, I became a prostitute."
 
 "Ye what!!!?  Out of here, ye shameless harlot!  Sinner!  You're a disgrace to this family."
 
 "OK, dad, as ye wish.  I just came back to give mum this luxurious fur coat, and for both of you a title deed to a ten bedroom mansion plus a $5 million savings certificate.  For me little brother, this gold Rolex and for ye, daddy, a new Mercedes limited edition convertible that's parked outside, plus a membership to the Country Club....and an invitation for ye to spend New Year's Eve on board my new yacht on the Riviera and...."
 
 "Now what was it ye said ye'd become?" dad interrupts.
 
 The girl, crying and sniffing again, says, "A prostitute, dad!"
 
 "Oh!!  Be Jesus!  Ye scared me half to death, girl!  I thought ye said a 'Protestant'.  Come here and give yer old man a hug!"

[2tallbill]

don't ask don't tell...............

[2tallbill]

sounds a little fishy.........

[2tallbill]

so shes a mutant.........

[2tallbill]

everyone can't play quarterback...........

[2tallbill]

how much to............

[2tallbill]

The game has been around for a while............

[2tallbill]

unsexy??

[2tallbill]

everyone likes bad girls.........

[2tallbill]

the awful truth........

[2tallbill]

A little boy comes down to breakfast. Since they live on a farm, his mother asks if he had done his chores.

not yet,” said the little boy. His mother tells him he can't have any breakfast until he does his chores.

Well, He's a little ticked off, so he goes to feed the chickens, and kicks a chicken. He goes to feed the cows, and he kicks a cow. He goes to feed the pigs, and he kicks a pig. He goes back in for breakfast and his mother gives him a bowl of dry cereal.

how come I don't get any eggs and bacon? Why don't I have milk in my cereal?” he asks.

“Well,” his mother says, “I saw you kick the chicken, so you don't get any eggs for a week. I saw you kick the pig, so you don't get any bacon, for a week either. I also saw you kick the cow, so, for a week you aren't getting any milk.”

Just then, his father comes down for breakfast and kicks the pussycat as He's walking into the kitchen. The little boy looks up at his mother with a smile, and says, are you going to tell him, or should I?“

[2tallbill]

Two guys drove to a gas station for a fill-up because they heard about a contest being offered by the station to patrons who purchase a full tank of gas. When they went inside to pay, the men asked the attendant about the contest.

"If you win, you're entitled to free sex," said the attendant.

"How do we enter?" asked the men.

"Well, I'm thinking of a number between 1-10, and if you guess right, you win free sex."

"O.K., I guess 7," said one of the guys. "Sorry, I was thinking of 8," replied the attendant.

The next week, the two same guys returned to the same station to get gas. When they went inside to pay, the one fellow asked the attendant if the contest was still going on.

"Sure," replied the attendant. "I'm thinking of a number between 1-10, if you guess right, you win free sex."

"2," said the customer.

"Sorry, I was thinking of 3," replied the attendant, "Come back soon and try again."

As they walked back to the car, the one downtrodden fellow said to the other, "You know, I'm beginning to think this contest is rigged."

"No way" insisted the other. "My wife won twice last week."

[2tallbill]

Redneck bra.........

[Son of Clyde]

2tallbill,

Have you ever been on the stage?

There's one leaving at 2:30.

[2tallbill]

2tallbill,

Have you ever been on the stage?

There's one leaving at 2:30.

Am I getting run out of Dodge again?

Take care,

Bill