Russian Women Discussion
RWD Discussion Groups => Experienced => Topic started by: Trenchcoat on January 02, 2022, 01:51:59 PM
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So been thinking this all over. I'm coming to thinking that a Belarus woman would suit me best, more than Ukrainian I think. Belarus women tend to dress more to my taste, more feminine, depends on the woman of course but overall more feminine. My experience and knowledge build up on this venture so far applying that to what I see on sites like Fdate well I see stuff I never used to and it's making me think a Belarus woman is a better option for me.
In recent years I think Ukraine has become a little different from what it was, not totally so but a little different. Women I think may be starting to dress less feminine, wearing leans more, trainers instead of shoes, bad western ways creeping in. That and a lot can travel into the EU now and while it's not trashing the dating scene altogether it's not a helpful situation.
So Belarus strikes me as a better hunting ground with women potentially more in the direction of what I'm after, personality wise also I'm thinking. Only problem is, is these damn sanctions the EU & UK have imposed on Belarus all because of some idiot got on a plane thinking he can fly over Belarus airspace and get away with it. Nothing to do with me yet it means to get into Belarus I've now got to go to a second destination airport like Istanbul then to Belarus adding loads to time to my travelling and more money. Only other option is for the girl to go to Ukraine, say Kiev from Belarus, though I'm not sure how easy it is for her to do that. Any thoughts on this one?
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Trench, you’re going to regret all this time wasted, fixated on superficial things....... If you ever get in a relationship that lasts more than a few weeks with a good girl who’s genuinely falling in love with you and treats you with care and respect, you’ll develop a strong emotional connection, which you’ve obviously never experienced going off what you post...... It won’t matter how she dresses, or if her nose is slightly out of proportion, if she’s a career woman or hikes 10 miles a day ..... You won’t care or change a thing about her because those things are what makes her uniquely who she is.
Before you know it you’ll be 50 and will have wasted the best years of your life alone, chasing superficial dreams that ultimately won’t make you anymore happy in a genuine relationship..... It’s time to get on with it now and experience a real relationship, before the pickings become even more slim.... I know guys who have met 10+ women and done multiple trips during covid and others that have met online, spent time together, hit it off, gotten engaged and are close to having their women arrive in their country during this difficult period too.
You’re definitely having issues with failing to climb the first step of many in this adventure, more than 99% of men..... Part of the problem is you’re adopting other mens flawed experiences and warped dating articles as your and not forming your views from your own experiences...... You keep saying you have a great wealth of knowledge, but it’s all theory....... Really, like me you’re still a newbie with very little real life experience..... I know newbies who understand more about FSU women and what makes them tick in a day than you have in 10 years, through real life experiences with a good woman.
Belarus has nothing more to offer you than Ukraine, Russia or England ATM.
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Trench, you’re going to regret all this time wasted, fixated on superficial things....... If you ever get in a relationship that lasts more than a few weeks with a good girl who’s genuinely falling in love with you and treats you with care and respect, you’ll develop a strong emotional connection, which you’ve obviously never experienced going off what you post...... It won’t matter how she dresses, or if her nose is slightly out of proportion, if she’s a career woman or hikes 10 miles a day ..... You won’t care or change a thing about her because those things are what makes her uniquely who she is.
Before you know it you’ll be 50 and will have wasted the best years of your life alone, chasing superficial dreams that ultimately won’t make you anymore happy in a genuine relationship..... It’s time to get on with it now and experience a real relationship, before the pickings become even more slim.... I know guys who have met 10+ women and done multiple trips during covid and others that have met online, spent time together, hit it off, gotten engaged and are close to having their women arrive in their country during this difficult period too.
You’re definitely having issues with failing to climb the first step of many in this adventure, more than 99% of men..... Part of the problem is you’re adopting other mens flawed experiences and warped dating articles as your and not forming your views from your own experiences...... You keep saying you have a great wealth of knowledge, but it’s all theory....... Really, like me you’re still a newbie with very little real life experience..... I know newbies who understand more about FSU women and what makes them tick in a day than you have in 10 years, through real life experiences with a good woman.
Belarus has nothing more to offer you than Ukraine, Russia or England ATM.
It absolutely matters how she dresses Davo. Why? Because it's more than just a superficial thing it's her mindset. I need a female with a feminine mindset. Those that do go better with me, I don't go well with females than have a more masculine mindset that want to wear jeans and see that they need to compete against me to be the man. That just won't work, bit for me and not for them. Even I try to be more accommodating, more modern if you wish to call it that etc it won't work as behind it all I would just be dumbing down who I am, subconsciously it would jar for both of us.
I've seen pretty girls that have fit bods and wear more masculine stuff well and still look hot but again I don't think I would do well over time with them. Getting turned on by a pretty girl is easy, but her being my type is another matter. My type is definitely feminine girls, they are who I appreciate, some will say it's about the girls personality but they don't notice that how she dresses is her personality in my opinion.
Thinking the Belarus thing over I think definitely it's going to have to be a Kiev trip with her travelling to Kiev, it's the most practical and economic solution.
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Ok, remember I've lived in eastern block countries in the past,and have been married for a combined(2 fsuw,yes at different times ;) )17 years.
Around all my in laws, various trips, around my wifes friends,etc.
I will assure you there is no essential difference in fsuw between Ukraine, Belarus, and Russia.
( there would be if you went to georgia)
Keep in mind individual differences always will out weigh some generic stereotype in peoples heads.
That said,women from those 3 ratios ,if within the same age group, generaly* have the same cultural/social backgrounds, same peers peer pressures as far as dictating fashion sense etc.
They as a general rule dress the same and as far as feminine outlook (whatever that may mean) they will generally all be in these page.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with searching in Belarus, but to think they have any different outlook in general is fatally flawed.
There would be a larger difference in provicial city vs moscovitcha, than the comparison you are drawing from thin air.
And that big city/provincial.city would still be small and still vary much more individually than generally.
I know a lot of Belarussian, Russians,Lithuanians, Ukrainians etc.
This feminism you speak of seems mosty derived from noticing profile photos .
They dress generally the same, yes all of them.
Yes they tend to dress better in their culture than yours, and lets be fair, so do the men.
But they share the exact same culture across borders.
They also have been absolutely ain the work force *competing since you were born and expected to be in thier culture.
In all 3 nations.
My wife does not dress up.often.
She also seldom.wears make up.
Neither do her Russian, belarussian friends here.
If we lived in Kyiv she likely would far more often, its just following natural cultural norms.
Unless you life includes really regular nights out clubbing or fine dining, you are expecting a woman to dol up regularly when noone in your area does.
Try to think hard on that, and how much that really matters in your life,in her *personality, and why it might.
Also reflect on how flexible youd hope your spouse ,who is changing cultures and languages, will be and whether someone inflexible or flexible is better fit.
(I absolutely know inflexible belarussians,who after decades here ,hate it in the west,still do dress up more ,etc. If that's what you want be careful what you wish for)
If* that is indeed what you want as far as dress /fashion , your wife tending to fret or ,dwelling on what others do ,or say ,or think regarding dress...
Then FSU culture is right for you!! But be aware that means you should move there! Then your wife will be still in that atmosphere and cultural.mentality of what is a priority.
In the west you had better hope she embraces and enjoys your culture and its norms.
There is some rooom.in between, bit again I caution you to be careful what you wish for.
Having observed a lot of thos over the decades the inflexible folks(men and women) that stuck like glue to their culture despite living in another, were almost always unhappy in life and ultimately in their relationships.
The onesxwho adopted ,and adapted to their new culture were far more often happy and remained in happy relationships.
While that's empirical evidence, I simply cant think of even one exception.
:popcorn:
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As always I wish you the best,
Happy Holidays.
(She is in blue Jean's in thos photo)
I'll tell you how un* russian my wife is now.
New years isn't even slightly a big deal in our home, no desire to call friends, or celebrate it in any way.
We just put our daughter to bed , and went to bed ourselves sn hour later maybe.
(That's not from me, I'd be fine with whatever she enjoyed)
Christmas is big deal,a very big deal.
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You can't afford the type of woman you want, Trench.
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Trench it’s almost as if you started this journey on a PPL site believing all the BS they use to attract victims...... I can tell you right now that you’re chasing a unicorn that doesn’t exist. The best you can hope for is a 30 / 70 pants to dress ratio, because even women in a warm climate they still experience this thing called winter..... Women don’t wake up in the morning and say to themselves “I’m feeling particularly masculine today, so I think I’ll put on a pair of jeans, to show my husband I’m just as much of a man aus he is!!”
If you told a date who is attracted to you, that we can only continue to see each other if she promises not to wear pants, she’ll see you as a man who has little experience with women and maybe a bit mentally unhinged and run!!
How would you know what you want in a woman when you’ve never been in a relationship with one? What I want has change drastically since my first relationship and has even changed since my divorce. The most important time you need to be physically attracted to her for your own needs, is when she’s not wearing clothes and the light is turned off...... Very soon you might even start struggling with that without a little blue pill.
Right now, at your age you’re missing out on the best sex and intimacy of your life, because you’re worried about something that is so minutely important to a finding and having a successful relationship with a good women...... Even saying that, there’s so many other great things than sex that make being in a relationship, one of the biggest pleasures in life. What she’s wearing has no influence on this enjoyment.
Check out these videos......Absolutely no difference. Come back the next day and the women wearing dresses are probably wearing jeans and vise versa.... What I saw in spring in Russia were the only women silly enough to wear dresses were teenagers, where the age group you are looking for mostly wore jeans and pants for comfort, not dresses to cater for their husbands sexual desires.
Belarus
http://youtu.be/o3-So-dLARY
Russia
http://youtu.be/6slkz_zuQbg
England
http://youtu.be/XojCnEEyLK0
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Ok, remember I've lived in eastern block countries in the past,and have been married for a combined(2 fsuw,yes at different times ;) )17 years.
Around all my in laws, various trips, around my wifes friends,etc.
I will assure you there is no essential difference in fsuw between Ukraine, Belarus, and Russia.
( there would be if you went to georgia)
Keep in mind individual differences always will out weigh some generic stereotype in peoples heads.
That said,women from those 3 ratios ,if within the same age group, generaly* have the same cultural/social backgrounds, same peers peer pressures as far as dictating fashion sense etc.
They as a general rule dress the same and as far as feminine outlook (whatever that may mean) they will generally all be in these page.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with searching in Belarus, but to think they have any different outlook in general is fatally flawed.
There would be a larger difference in provicial city vs moscovitcha, than the comparison you are drawing from thin air.
And that big city/provincial.city would still be small and still vary much more individually than generally.
I know a lot of Belarussian, Russians,Lithuanians, Ukrainians etc.
This feminism you speak of seems mosty derived from noticing profile photos .
They dress generally the same, yes all of them.
Yes they tend to dress better in their culture than yours, and lets be fair, so do the men.
But they share the exact same culture across borders.
They also have been absolutely ain the work force *competing since you were born and expected to be in thier culture.
In all 3 nations.
My wife does not dress up.often.
She also seldom.wears make up.
Neither do her Russian, belarussian friends here.
If we lived in Kyiv she likely would far more often, its just following natural cultural norms.
Unless you life includes really regular nights out clubbing or fine dining, you are expecting a woman to dol up regularly when noone in your area does.
Try to think hard on that, and how much that really matters in your life,in her *personality, and why it might.
Also reflect on how flexible youd hope your spouse ,who is changing cultures and languages, will be and whether someone inflexible or flexible is better fit.
(I absolutely know inflexible belarussians,who after decades here ,hate it in the west,still do dress up more ,etc. If that's what you want be careful what you wish for)
If* that is indeed what you want as far as dress /fashion , your wife tending to fret or ,dwelling on what others do ,or say ,or think regarding dress...
Then FSU culture is right for you!! But be aware that means you should move there! Then your wife will be still in that atmosphere and cultural.mentality of what is a priority.
In the west you had better hope she embraces and enjoys your culture and its norms.
There is some rooom.in between, bit again I caution you to be careful what you wish for.
Having observed a lot of thos over the decades the inflexible folks(men and women) that stuck like glue to their culture despite living in another, were almost always unhappy in life and ultimately in their relationships.
The onesxwho adopted ,and adapted to their new culture were far more often happy and remained in happy relationships.
While that's empirical evidence, I simply cant think of even one exception.
:popcorn:
You have intelligence Jumper that's what I see a lot of in your postings and like about you.
For sure you are right. I've kind of known for a while now that bringing a FSW here would be a threat to all I want. It's the feminine way that many FSW tend to be that is attractive to me yet that would risk all coming under risk of being lost if she came here. I would have to try and block out or avoid watching news channels, articles programs etc where all this gender equality, etc tosh is spread about. I would have to try and keep her out of reach of other guys and of the 'sisterhood' bad mouthing me. Keeping her from the cr*ppy influences of western culture would likely be a difficult task possibly an impossible one.
For me the FSU is like paradise. It's like that old Star Trek film where the guy has to get back to 'the Nexus'. I would love to be there all the time if I could but I need to get an independent income in to do so. That's where my terrace house comes in, it's conversion is near complete now thank god. I will be able to get good money in by renting out the rooms, an independent income. I'll be honest, while it okish where my terrace house is I think it has never really felt like somewhere I would feel like I truely belonged. I don't think I could ever feel happy enough there. For me though I bought it more as an investment to rent out so it hopefully won't have to be somewhere I would live permanently.
My parental home is where I feel I belong always has but I'm unlikely to be able to buy my siblings out. I'm not sure if that would be the way forward anyway.
I could probably garner about £1k in the UK from renting out my house. A girl in the FSW would probably look upon me like a god. It's not that it's a lot of money but all she would see is a foreign guy who has the wealth to stroll around without having to work, able to buy food, clothing and entertainment without having to work for it. Able to pursue my own project or desires and having the time and money behind me to do it. So it's there that I have my greatest pull. Bring her back to the UK however and everything gets a whole lot harder, different even. Here I'm just another regular Joe with a bog standard house. Honestly I would not even take her to live in that terrace house I would rent somewhere with the money close to my parental home, a modern posh looking flat overlooking the sea or somewhere scenic. I would need that sort of lifestyle to compete and live up to how such a lady would wish to see me. Basically providing a decent lifestyle.
That decent lifestyle could all be done more easily in the FSU with a lot less competition around from the local guys. She would know that our lifestyle wouldn't be at risk one day from a job suddenly and unexpectedly going. So compared to local lads I would be as sound as a pound. I would be a good prospect for a local woman.
What I would most hate is for a good feminine FSW to come here and end up like most of the local women, end up another cr*ppy dressed wearing career driven loon who quickly regards herself as superior and well dressed despite being otherwise. Seeing a good woman going downhill towards disaster fast through taking onboard western tosh values is what I most do not wish to see.
So for me however I can work it I will but I really do need to have a woman that doesn't become a local woman.
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As always I wish you the best,
Happy Holidays.
(She is in blue Jean's in thos photo)
I'll tell you how un* russian my wife is now.
New years isn't even slightly a big deal in our home, no desire to call friends, or celebrate it in any way.
We just put our daughter to bed , and went to bed ourselves sn hour later maybe.
(That's not from me, I'd be fine with whatever she enjoyed)
Christmas is big deal,a very big deal.
Well I'm not religious but I still go through the whole Christmas thing as it's just become tradition in my family and how I grew up. New Year's well that entails a New Years dinner for me just like Christmas, only presents at Christmas though. I don't really get the different dates for Orthodox Christian Christmas. For me Christmas & New Year's seeing off the end of December makes sense having a celebration 7 days into a month makes no sense to me whatsoever. Back in pagan times the Winter Solstice on the 21st December was the winter celebration marking the shortest day of daylight in the year. The celebration was handy for brightening up this darkest day of the year to help get through that time of year. I still think a date around that date is handy for brightening up that time of year. The 7th Jan however is a bit late in the year for that I kind of feel, the moment has sort of passed.
I kind of think the whole Christmas (25th Dec) & New Year's could kind of do with sone kind of reforming/modernising. Not really doing it away with so to speak but doing it a bit differently. It's kind of been stayed in a certain way for a long time now by society, merchandise, etc. I certainly wouldn't want it more religious, less religious I would prefer, more secular, more healthy outlook with regard to food I think, way less chocolate and cake a lot more healthy food I think, not rabbit food, meats like turkey, chicken, beef & pork ok etc just a lot less unhealthy food associated with it would be best for everyone I think.
Decoration wise I kind of think it would all look better more like how the Pagans did it, a real living tree, Holly berries, ivy, etc. All this cheap plastic bling, tinsel etc kind of all looks tacky and a bit stuffy, almost ridiculous looking I think. Same with Christmas crackers filled with ridiculous cheap paper hats, cheap tacky plastic cr*p that goes to waste and odd jokes that are a real poke in the dark to guess. I really do wonder if that is really all necessary or even enjoyable to do more of a pia if anything.
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Likely varies family to family.
Ours is fairly religous and it's a celebration of Christ's birth foremost(regardless if the date itself is accurate or not)
Secondary but quite important is the gatherings of friends family, and the enjoyment of exchanging gifts and celebrating /appreciating our children as is a spr ial.time for them to see friends and family.
We live very near Lake Michigan shore, lots of snow, evergreen trees etc, its quite Christmassy in a traditional sense.
We always have a real tree, although its a tad redundant as our home us surrounded be 70 foot pines.
My mothers place is similar so has that postcard Christmas setting.
As far as the other, I wasn't saying to fret that she* will likely change styles in your cuture somewhat.
My point is she* will likely changestyes over the years to.match what's typical for her age,her career or hobbies and the culture she lives in, and that you'd expect that in any normal person.
So it's likely not in your best interest(unless permanently moving to FSU) to dwell on something that is temporary and superficial.
You can find someone really wrapped up in that fashion vibe,that doesn't seem a perfect fit for you though?
Maybe it is,only you know this.
I dont live a lifestyle that fashionista would typically fit in well with.
If you plan a family with kids ,keep.in mind the priority of your wife and yourself will be the kids.
I just dont think any FSU women's going to
be underdressed* in your culture, lifestyle.
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Trench it’s almost as if you started this journey on a PPL site believing all the BS they use to attract victims...... I can tell you right now that you’re chasing a unicorn that doesn’t exist. The best you can hope for is a 30 / 70 pants to dress ratio, because even women in a warm climate they still experience this thing called winter..... Women don’t wake up in the morning and say to themselves “I’m feeling particularly masculine today, so I think I’ll put on a pair of jeans, to show my husband I’m just as much of a man aus he is!!”
If you told a date who is attracted to you, that we can only continue to see each other if she promises not to wear pants, she’ll see you as a man who has little experience with women and maybe a bit mentally unhinged and run!!
How would you know what you want in a woman when you’ve never been in a relationship with one? What I want has change drastically since my first relationship and has even changed since my divorce. The most important time you need to be physically attracted to her for your own needs, is when she’s not wearing clothes and the light is turned off...... Very soon you might even start struggling with that without a little blue pill.
Right now, at your age you’re missing out on the best sex and intimacy of your life, because you’re worried about something that is so minutely important to a finding and having a successful relationship with a good women...... Even saying that, there’s so many other great things than sex that make being in a relationship, one of the biggest pleasures in life. What she’s wearing has no influence on this enjoyment.
Check out these videos......Absolutely no difference. Come back the next day and the women wearing dresses are probably wearing jeans and vise versa.... What I saw in spring in Russia were the only women silly enough to wear dresses were teenagers, where the age group you are looking for mostly wore jeans and pants for comfort, not dresses to cater for their husbands sexual desires.
Belarus
http://youtu.be/o3-So-dLARY
Russia
http://youtu.be/6slkz_zuQbg
England
http://youtu.be/XojCnEEyLK0
The Russian video shows more women and I think people more neatly dressed, better colour coordinated than the UK one, younger also but it looks like it's near a campus on the first one. For sure they are wearing jeans quite a lot in the Russian one. I would say it does of course depend on the weather and to to some extent the culture. When I was down the seafront in the summer I wore jeans once and felt it a bit heavy and out of place and chino's on another hot sunny day and it feel less awkward. I notice in Ukraine in the summer the guys tend to wear chino's and cotton type of shirts/tops, few wear jeans. Colours of course a bit summery also.
I definitely think people tend to be more badly dressed here, not everyone of course but lot of I'll fitting baggy clothes, clashing colours, etc. Culture I think affects it too, Belarus for example is to my mind at least different from Russia. I would say more authoritarian than Russia, more conservative in dress sense, traditional so that can affect it as well. Not saying that women don't wear jeans in Belarus just more tend to dress in feminine style I think. It's quite possible for women to wear tights with a dress or skirt and feel just as warm as when wearing jeans due to the skin tight nature keeping the warmth in.
It's not really a fashionista I'm after but more a woman that dresses in a feminine way preferably most of the time. I think I'm getting pretty close to what I'm after now.
Think those Russian girls were way prettier also ;)
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It's not really a fashionista I'm after but more a woman that dresses in a feminine way preferably most of the time. I think I'm getting pretty close to what I'm after now.
How exactly?
We all know women in short skirts floats your boat. So nothing new here.
You spend all your time writing oodles of tedium, endlessly theorising on clothes, looks, cheapskating on how not to spend money you haven’t got, rubbishing the local women you’ve never dated and a dozen other vacuous topics.
What is it you’ve actually achieved?
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How exactly?
We all know women in short skirts floats your boat. So nothing new here.
You spend all your time writing oodles of tedium, endlessly theorising on clothes, looks, cheapskating on how not to spend money you haven’t got, rubbishing the local women you’ve never dated and a dozen other vacuous topics.
What is it you’ve actually achieved?
It's really getting down to the specifics of what I am looking for in a girl, what would suit me best. FSU dating is a pretty big field and lots to learn. I've no doubt there is even more O could learn. Just tonight I was skimming around some of my favourite sites on VK of hot women. One young girl came up, so hot looking, absolutely ravishing looking that looked like a guy could spend the night of his dreams with her but likely so hot looking that holding onto her could be a big concern. For one guy it was because she is divorced. In the comments I happened across an interesting comment from a FSUM that gave an insight into divorce and attitudes of the women there that lead to the high divorce rates:
"She seems beautiful, so good, young, caring. The question is, why are you divorced? There was nothing left to pull from the ex, or there was not enough money, or a friend's husband lives at work, and you come home to spend the night with a dog? I'm not saying that everyone is like that, but most of them are for sure. Why wasn't it like this before? Women, what's wrong with you? Why does everyone owe you, and you owe no one? Why, if you have cockroaches running chaotically in your head, are you a freak, and if your husband, God forbid, did something for himself, he is a greedy, ugly, goon? What's the matter with you? And then we wonder why there are so many divorcees"
Pic of girl below:
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Well looking like Kiev is out in terms of meeting a Belarusian girl apparently planes aren't flying there and the land borders are presently closed.
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Anyway so yeah above sex kitten has over 3 thousand likes and 264 comments. Most of those comments apart from the above one are trying to crack on with her. The guy who commented is probably only one/one of the few who isn't thinking with his little head.
How long I would last with such a girl or many a man, well let's say I wouldn't fancy my chances lol.
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You can't afford the type of woman you want, Trench.
I very much suspect you're correct.
The sort of women he wants (slutty dresser,good-looking,sexy figure..basically a traffic stopper ) tend to want to be taken clubbing and to bars on a regular basis( every weekend minimum ) where they can pose and flaunt their appearance to everyone.
They'll expect to be taken to those clubs in a flash car too and for Trench to be looking good in Armani to impress their friends.
Those Cocktails will soon drain his resources,and that's without the ones she'll expect him to buy her friends.
Then he's got to pay for all her outfits and collection of high heeled shoes/boots he wants her to look hot in...he can't be seen to be "greedy" by not spending loads on her.
Shopping for her outfits will be fun though..seeing her looking sexy in the latest outfit he's bought her.....until the colour drains from his face when he sees how much he's got left in his bank account.
Of course she'll want to live in a nice pad..to impress her friends she'll be inviting over.
Trench needs to sell his property quick and invest the proceeds in taking a punt on Bitcoin,followed by plenty of finger crossing and praying, to maybe raise the cash to finance the lifestyle he'll need.....£1K a month income won't hit the mark which might not even cover the rent he'll be paying for the pad she'll want to live in to keep her around.
Think Margot Robbie in Wolf of Wall street.
This is assuming he can even get a date with a girl like this..let alone a relationship....as he'll be competing against other blokes who have plenty of money to flash the cash...some of whom will look like gym-going male models.
Or maybe Trench will have a big win on the lottery. )
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“This is assuming he can even get a date with a girl like this..let alone a relationship....as he'll be competing against other blokes who have plenty of money to flash the cash...some of whom will look like gym-going male models”
Guys like that won’t care if trench is hanging off her arm..... The’ll hit on her right in front of his face shamelessly..... I know I had it happen to me with my younger attractive GF 7 years ago in a restaurant and clubs are a far more sexually charged environment.
Trench finding that special one is hard enough even without over the top stipulations. Are you prepared to do 50 trips and go on 500 dates?..... this is the easy part. If there’s 100 ways to screw up a date, there’s 1000 ways to ruin a relationship, especially with no experience with women or relationships.... Find a nice average looking woman your age, who wears both jeans and dresses and you might have half a chance of pulling this off.
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“This is assuming he can even get a date with a girl like this..let alone a relationship....as he'll be competing against other blokes who have plenty of money to flash the cash...some of whom will look like gym-going male models”
Guys like that won’t care if trench is hanging off her arm..... The’ll hit on her right in front of his face shamelessly..... I know I had it happen to me with my younger attractive GF 7 years ago in a restaurant and clubs are a far more sexually charged environment.
Trench finding that special one is hard enough even without over the top stipulations. Are you prepared to do 50 trips and go on 500 dates?..... this is the easy part. If there’s 100 ways to screw up a date, there’s 1000 ways to ruin a relationship, especially with no experience with women or relationships.... Find a nice average looking woman your age, who wears both jeans and dresses and you might have half a chance of pulling this off.
I know...i speak a lot from experience.
I was married to the kind of woman Trench wants.
Within the first month of dating her reality hit me .I was picking her up from work to take her to a Restaurant,when in walks this guy who owned two Boutiques in London...looked liked Patrick Swayze in his prime.
"Hiya gorgeous....doing anything tomorrow night " ? he says
She says "i'm with my boyfriend " .
"Oh yeah...where's he from" ? he asks.
"From England " she replies.
"No probs..i'll pay for his air ticket home " he says.
She giggles and says "thanks but no thanks ".
I then walked over to him and said "i'm the boyfriend ..now f..k off "
Back in London we'd walk along the Embankment and traffic DID stop to gawp..men and women drivers alike...like being a celeb without the money...and she'd get hit on twenty times a night in a club..with comments such as "are you into swinging "?..by single blokes and couples.
She'd get swamped with letters,with their phone numbers attached, on Facebook from blokes all around the world offering to pay her airfare to meet up with them.or asking her to meet up in England...despite her clearly saying on her profile she was married.
I'd have to go to her workplace to have a word with her male work colleagues to stop them pestering her to leave me and move in with them...that's how bad it was.
She'd go round a female friends home and the husband would start hitting on her behind his wife's back..this happened with two of her female friends.
I had 12 years of this.
Trench won't know what's hit him.
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I know...i speak a lot from experience.
I was married to the kind of woman Trench wants.
Within the first month of dating her reality hit me .I was picking her up from work to take her to a Restaurant,when in walks this guy who owned two Boutiques in London...looked liked Patrick Swayze in his prime.
"Hiya gorgeous....doing anything tomorrow night " ? he says
She says "i'm with my boyfriend " .
"Oh yeah...where's he from" ? he asks.
"From England " she replies.
"No probs..i'll pay for his air ticket home " he says.
She giggles and says "thanks but no thanks ".
I then walked over to him and said "i'm the boyfriend ..now f..k off "
Back in London we'd walk along the Embankment and traffic DID stop to gawp..men and women drivers alike...like being a celeb without the money...and she'd get hit on twenty times a night in a club..with comments such as "are you into swinging "?..by single blokes and couples.
She'd get swamped with letters,with their phone numbers attached, on Facebook from blokes all around the world offering to pay her airfare to meet up with them.or asking her to meet up in England...despite her clearly saying on her profile she was married.
I'd have to go to her workplace to have a word with her male work colleagues to stop them pestering her to leave me and move in with them...that's how bad it was.
She'd go round a female friends home and the husband would start hitting on her behind his wife's back..this happened with two of her female friends.
I had 12 years of this.
Trench won't know what's hit him.
Thanks CB that's quite an insight, Davo you also. I kind of knew a few years ago that bringing back a hot girl from the FSU would be a problem. A few of the twits on here thought I was paranoid till I spelled out the very exact situation then they fell in with what I was facing. Apart from Kherson girl wanting a tourist visa here and very unlikely be able to get one due to her being a young single lady I also knew that it would be a very high risk of her shooting off with someone else.
Like you say being with a pretty girl they can be hit on all the time by guys and some of those guys are going to be very tempting for them. The Patrick Swayze type of guy you mentioned there's a very high chance that if I was with a pretty girl she would go off with a guy like that or some dude who is a good socialiser and wins her over with his gift of the gab. There would literally be a load of guys who think there the dogs bollocks and be moseying up to give it a crack.
The sex kitten girl above is a good easy example, loads of guys on there in the comments all giving their number, etc asking her out. It's a good inline representation of what happens in real life, but a good statistical view to make it even clearer and of course the high amount of competition for such a girl is shocking.
What makes me laugh with done if the comments she's got is the dudes who come out with the 'I consider what's on the inside not the outside' sort of guff, lol. I mean yeah right like I'm sure there rocking up to some fat chick's profile on there and cracking onto her and coming out with that bs. My guess is that such girls have heard all that bs before and don't care for it.
I know though a real pretty girl is going to be a big problem for me. I would be happy with an everyday average girl that dresses femininely though.
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Kind of always thought that since all guys want hot chicks there should really be a scheme devised to share them out fairly, like every guy has his turn with her for a certain amount of time or something like that, best way to motivate the male population and keep us happy I think :)
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Thanks CB that's quite an insight, Davo you also. I kind of knew a few years ago that bringing back a hot girl from the FSU would be a problem. A few of the twits on here thought I was paranoid till I spelled out the very exact situation then they fell in with what I was facing. Apart from Kherson girl wanting a tourist visa here and very unlikely be able to get one due to her being a young single lady I also knew that it would be a very high risk of her shooting off with someone else.
Like you say being with a pretty girl they can be hit on all the time by guys and some of those guys are going to be very tempting for them. The Patrick Swayze type of guy you mentioned there's a very high chance that if I was with a pretty girl she would go off with a guy like that or some dude who is a good socialiser and wins her over with his gift of the gab. There would literally be a load of guys who think there the dogs bollocks and be moseying up to give it a crack.
The sex kitten girl above is a good easy example, loads of guys on there in the comments all giving their number, etc asking her out. It's a good inline representation of what happens in real life, but a good statistical view to make it even clearer and of course the high amount of competition for such a girl is shocking.
What makes me laugh with done if the comments she's got is the dudes who come out with the 'I consider what's on the inside not the outside' sort of guff, lol. I mean yeah right like I'm sure there rocking up to some fat chick's profile on there and cracking onto her and coming out with that bs. My guess is that such girls have heard all that bs before and don't care for it.
I know though a real pretty girl is going to be a big problem for me. I would be happy with an everyday average girl that dresses femininely though.
With INSECURITY like yours wafting like a ripe Gorgonzola, you don’t stand a chance.
Stop dreaming and look for a nice homely girl in your backyard. Even that’s going to be a challenge for you so best get cracking. Time isn’t on your side.
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I very much suspect you're correct.
The sort of women he wants (slutty dresser,good-looking,sexy figure..basically a traffic stopper ) tend to want to be taken clubbing and to bars on a regular basis( every weekend minimum ) where they can pose and flaunt their appearance to everyone.
They'll expect to be taken to those clubs in a flash car too and for Trench to be looking good in Armani to impress their friends.
Those Cocktails will soon drain his resources,and that's without the ones she'll expect him to buy her friends.
Then he's got to pay for all her outfits and collection of high heeled shoes/boots he wants her to look hot in...he can't be seen to be "greedy" by not spending loads on her.
Shopping for her outfits will be fun though..seeing her looking sexy in the latest outfit he's bought her.....until the colour drains from his face when he sees how much he's got left in his bank account.
Of course she'll want to live in a nice pad..to impress her friends she'll be inviting over.
Trench needs to sell his property quick and invest the proceeds in taking a punt on Bitcoin,followed by plenty of finger crossing and praying, to maybe raise the cash to finance the lifestyle he'll need.....£1K a month income won't hit the mark which might not even cover the rent he'll be paying for the pad she'll want to live in to keep her around.
Think Margot Robbie in Wolf of Wall street.
This is assuming he can even get a date with a girl like this..let alone a relationship....as he'll be competing against other blokes who have plenty of money to flash the cash...some of whom will look like gym-going male models.
Or maybe Trench will have a big win on the lottery. )
Nice post CB.
:ROFL: :ROFL:
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Nice post CB.
:ROFL: :ROFL:
Unlike you Gaunty, CB did not mean the post as a dig just a reflection on reality I believe. It's the same for you as for me, him and any other guy. If a good looking rich guy with muscles turns up and cracks onto your girl and your girl believes he's not just doing it for a one nighter then there's a good chance your girl would go off with him. If you've got a pretty girl guys will be rocking up all the time to do that. Fortunately for you, you've gone for a girl who as you admit yourself isn't in that category. So as a guy you've only got to be so good.
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CB was married 12 years trench.
It's not like she ran off with the first guy that hit in her ,which certainly wasnt CB either.
She could look like road kill and a marraige that lasted 12 years is still beyond the normal anymore.
Win a womans heart.
Attractive women get hit on endlessly, even moderately attractive women do. 6,8 or 10.
You really think.it matters to the lenght of your relationship on some scale if its 2 times a day average or 6 times a day?
It's again a very flawed way of thinking.
I've been incredibly lucky in life to date and marry gorgeous women,not once did anything to do with their looks badly influence our core relationship.
Did men hit on them sometimes inappropriately? Sure.
So what.
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Unlike you Gaunty, CB did not mean the post as a dig just a reflection on reality I believe. It's the same for you as for me, him and any other guy. If a good looking rich guy with muscles turns up and cracks onto your girl and your girl believes he's not just doing it for a one nighter then there's a good chance your girl would go off with him. If you've got a pretty girl guys will be rocking up all the time to do that. Fortunately for you, you've gone for a girl who as you admit yourself isn't in that category. So as a guy you've only got to be so good.
I married a keeper Trench, who is beautiful as well. I haven’t got the insecurity and self confidence issues that you have and had absolutely no worries that my wife would up sticks and take off with another bloke.
You are prioritising all the wrong things in your search, unfortunately.
BTW, I don’t categorise women as you do. That’s just so shallow and shouldn’t be the benchmark. Looks don’t a marriage make. You need to wise up to that.
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She'd go round a female friends home and the husband would start hitting on her behind his wife's back..this happened with two of her female friends.
What Trench needs to do is to go after a woman that isn't heavily pursued
for marriage by the local yokels. A 38-40 year old slim professional who is
a bit cute and has a child.
Now he has something to offer (love and marriage) that isn't available to
her locally.
Those videos of twenty somethings posted by others are not realistic search
opportunities for a guy without seriously gifted social skills and upwardly mobile
financially.
A guy with limited prospects and limited social abilities needs to find a good girl
the same age or two years younger who will look at him as a potential fixer upper.
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In the FSU women wear heavy duty panty hose/stockings. I don't know what
they are called but they are durable and keep slim legs warm. They cost significantly
more than a pair of "Legs panty hose" but they last much much longer as well.
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In the FSU women wear heavy duty panty hose/stockings. I don't know what
they are called but they are durable and keep slim legs warm. They cost significantly
more than a pair of "Legs panty hose" but they last much much longer as well.
It was 7F here yesterday, so those would be needed :popcorn:
It's not norf dakoty (but sometimes I wonder)
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It was 7F here yesterday, so those would be needed :popcorn:
It's not norf dakoty (but sometimes I wonder)
Yew Betcha!
It wasn't Norf Dekody advice, it was advice for those in Blighty.
I'm in Texas now and we are still learning how to survive the bitterly cold
winters here. This week it's been getting colder than 70F. So we mostly
stay inside a lot ;D If it gets any colder, I'll start making hot cocoa.
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Yew Betcha!
It wasn't Norf Dekody advice, it was advice for those in Blighty.
I'm in Texas now and we are still learning how to survive the bitterly cold
winters here. This week it's been getting colder than 70F. So we mostly
stay inside a lot ;D If it gets any colder, I'll start making hot cocoa.
🤣
Every winter I ask myself why why why I live where its cold.
I never have a real good answer hahaha
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🤣
Every winter I ask myself why why why I live where its cold.
I never have a real good answer hahaha
My parents live in Blythe California, which is dirt bike paradise.
90 miles from Mexico, 200 miles from the Mint 400, 60 miles
to the Glamis sand drags. There has to be 40 different desert
races within 150 miles in any direction.
The Colorado River is right there.
The Summers are like being wrapped in aluminum foil and being
cooked alive in a microwave oven. Imagine riding with a hair dryer
in your mouth.
Don't move there, your wife would kill you (and you would deserve it).
I still haven't forgiven my parents for moving there when I was in the
5th grade. My little brother is a MacGyver type fabricator and he loves
going to races and fixing broke race cars and/or making parts.
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My parents live in Blythe California, which is dirt bike paradise.
90 miles from Mexico, 200 miles from the Mint 400, 60 miles
to the Glamis sand drags. There has to be 40 different desert
races within 150 miles in any direction.
The Colorado River is right there.
The Summers are like being wrapped in aluminum foil and being
cooked alive in a microwave oven. Imagine riding with a hair dryer
in your mouth.
Don't move there, your wife would kill you (and you would deserve it).
I still haven't forgiven my parents for moving there when I was in the
5th grade. My little brother is a MacGyver type fabricator and he loves
going to races and fixing broke race cars and/or making parts.
Blythe :)
Very familiar. !!!
I've spent hundreds of weekends at glamis, buttercup,Mexico, china wall, brawley slide,ocitillo, Indio ,dove canyon ,jawbone etc etc etc although many of those areas are more restricted access now.
It's my favorite place on the planet to ride.
But I fully I agree it's not exactly where I want to live lol
My wife *if we had the comfortable means ,would( like myself )prefer to have a place here or in- as example- upper Michigan or Idaho/Wyoming/Montana ,
and a 3 month summer home in florida,mexico,utah az(but mountain area) or my old socal stomping grounds.
In november we were in page AZ, then thru several Utah/ nat parks,back thru Colorado etc camping hiking ,fun trip, we try to do twice a year.
But yeah I'm think Brawly or Calexico cali might wear thin in the summer 🤣
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I married a keeper Trench, who is beautiful as well. I haven’t got the insecurity and self confidence issues that you have and had absolutely no worries that my wife would up sticks and take off with another bloke.
You are prioritising all the wrong things in your search, unfortunately.
BTW, I don’t categorise women as you do. That’s just so shallow and shouldn’t be the benchmark. Looks don’t a marriage make. You need to wise up to that.
It's not so much that she has to be the prettiest girl but I do need to find her attractive, there be natural chemistry there. I can very well go into a relationship and marriage without there being natural chemistry there which there tends not to be if I don't find her attractive looking. It's no to say I only find natural chemistry with attractive looking girls, a lot of them are. Some attractive looking girls I don't find I have natural chemistry with, it can be kind of random. However girls I find unattractive looking I rarely have natural chemistry with. So for me it's not really that I'm going out prioritising looks in my search it's just something I'm stuck with. Online dating isn't always that useful as I never really know if there is much chemistry until I'm there. I kind of see why 2tallbill's method of ditching the girl if no chemistry there and calling up others is a good one as picking out girls online is a real poke in the dark. That's if it can be made to work which I think I can now do. Just really a case of waiting for this Omicron variant to pass now.
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It's not so much that she has to be the prettiest girl but I do need to find her attractive, there be natural chemistry there. I can very well go into a relationship and marriage without there being natural chemistry there which there tends not to be if I don't find her attractive looking. It's no to say I only find natural chemistry with attractive looking girls, a lot of them are. Some attractive looking girls I don't find I have natural chemistry with, it can be kind of random. However girls I find unattractive looking I rarely have natural chemistry with. So for me it's not really that I'm going out prioritising looks in my search it's just something I'm stuck with. Online dating isn't always that useful as I never really know if there is much chemistry until I'm there. I kind of see why 2tallbill's method of ditching the girl if no chemistry there and calling up others is a good one as picking out girls online is a real poke in the dark. That's if it can be made to work which I think I can now do. Just really a case of waiting for this Omicron variant to pass now.
There you go, on about looks again.
Chemistry between people IMO isn’t about looks. Of course, you need to like how a person looks and it’s part of the mix but there’s a whole range of factors which add to chemistry between people.
Sadly, you are only looking at that one narrow subjective thing which, in the long run, will have little impact on how successful your relationship/marriage is.
How long do you think a girl can sustain her looks/figure. One can stay fit and attractive but with time the only thing left is the beauty within.
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Not to worry, omicron will be replaced by flurona
There will be an endless supply of reasons you can't travel.
:)
Yes I'm picking on you.
UK has what over 2 million cases? One of the highest per percent populatiin? I don't think traveling will significantly increase your risks.
Go to Iceland the women are gorgeous there
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Not to worry, omicron will be replaced by flurona
There will be an endless supply of reasons you can't travel.
:)
Yes I'm picking on you.
UK has what over 2 million cases? One of the highest per percent populatiin? I don't think traveling will significantly increase your risks.
Go to Iceland the women are gorgeous there
That’s just it, Jumper. TC has no end of excuses. Covid has been very useful for him.
I’ve not let it put me off travelling. I’ve made 5 long haul trips in 2021. So long as one is sensible and takes precautions travelling is doable, albeit with a few extra hurdles.
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That’s just it, Jumper. TC has no end of excuses. Covid has been very useful for him.
I’ve not let it put me off travelling. I’ve made 5 long haul trips in 2021. So long as one is sensible and takes precautions travelling is doable, albeit with a few extra hurdles.
I'm sure if you're a rich guy with time in your hands it's no problem. Personally for me I have to be somewhat careful, if I go now I could easily catch Omicron and end my days in some Ukrainian sh*thole hospital. Why do that when I can wait a few weeks and it probably be fine and better weather.
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There you go, on about looks again.
Chemistry between people IMO isn’t about looks. Of course, you need to like how a person looks and it’s part of the mix but there’s a whole range of factors which add to chemistry between people.
Sadly, you are only looking at that one narrow subjective thing which, in the long run, will have little impact on how successful your relationship/marriage is.
How long do you think a girl can sustain her looks/figure. One can stay fit and attractive but with time the only thing left is the beauty within.
Yes I'm sure over time you both come to care for each other, get through stuff together, get involved in family matters, social stuff, each other, etc.
However don't you think that upon meeting she made a value judgement on how attractive you looked and likely you did the same. Sure someone who is good socially or has other stuff going for him no doubt helps but a lot is down to whether you are actually attracted to the other person. Women do the same on this as men do, all this what's the person like inside is a load of horse sh*t that just isn't true and deflecting from reality. I'm sure she's a lovely personable person but if you weren't in the ball park for what she wanted then she would be off and vice versa. I mean who the hell looks on Fdate says to themselves 'ok there's a girl who doesn't look that pretty so I'll contact her and see what she has going in the inside'. The only people I can think that do that are guts that are ugly and desperate for anyone.
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I'm sure if you're a rich guy with time in your hands it's no problem. Personally for me I have to be somewhat careful, if I go now I could easily catch Omicron and end my days in some Ukrainian sh*thole hospital. Why do that when I can wait a few weeks and it probably be fine and better weather.
Common sense is not exclusive to the rich nor is travel.
Plus, you need insurance to enter Ukraine.
Aren’t you vaccinated to the hilt? So chances of you getting it bad are remote, to say the least.
They’re just excuses, TC.
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Yes I'm sure over time you both come to care for each other, get through stuff together, get involved in family matters, social stuff, each other, etc.
However don't you think that upon meeting she made a value judgement on how attractive you looked and likely you did the same. Sure someone who is good socially or has other stuff going for him no doubt helps but a lot is down to whether you are actually attracted to the other person. Women do the same on this as men do, all this what's the person like inside is a load of horse sh*t that just isn't true and deflecting from reality. I'm sure she's a lovely personable person but if you weren't in the ball park for what she wanted then she would be off and vice versa. I mean who the hell looks on Fdate says to themselves 'ok there's a girl who doesn't look that pretty so I'll contact her and see what she has going in the inside'. The only people I can think that do that are guts that are ugly and desperate for anyone.
You are way off point and based on the shyte you come up with constantly that’s where you’ll remain.
I met her family the day after our first meeting. I’m pretty sure that wasn’t because of my looks.
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That’s just it, Jumper. TC has no end of excuses. Covid has been very useful for him.
I’ve not let it put me off travelling. I’ve made 5 long haul trips in 2021. So long as one is sensible and takes precautions travelling is doable, albeit with a few extra hurdles.
Well I'll admit ive never been a fan of huge crowds, so tended to avoid them when possible.This has been a more convenient excuse for doing so.
It hasn't kept me from traveling.
To TC's credit he has done what most keyboard romeos fail to do, and that is travel and meet someone face to face.
So I retain he has some hope!
It's at a snails pace I could never endure,but it's his own journey.
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You are way off point and based on the shyte you come up with constantly that’s where you’ll remain.
I met her family the day after our first meeting. I’m pretty sure that wasn’t because of my looks.
Yes I'm sure your sterling personality won her over in an instant. More like she thought, 'this guy can provide, that's way better an offering than any of the local dudes'. Hence you were worthy on that basis to be suitable a case to bring before her parents.
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Yes I'm sure your sterling personality won her over in an instant. More like she thought, 'this guy can provide, that's way better an offering than any of the local dudes'. Hence you were worthy on that basis to be suitable a case to bring before her parents.
Yes, of course. That’s it. She knew my bank balance the minute she met me. Dummy. :deadhorse: :deadhorse:
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Yes, of course. That’s it. She knew my bank balance the minute she met me. Dummy. :deadhorse: :deadhorse:
Ok then, I'll ask you straight, 'why do you think she introduced you to her parents the day after meeting you?'
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I'll say I met my wifes friends (which she is closer to than her parent(s) ) before I met her.
You can't make much out of individual situations,there were several reasons why in my case.
Anyway, first meeting her one friend, at around noon,who showed me around the general area of my flat and took me to a late lunch at a nearby cafe ,then later met 4 or 5 of her friends after our initial meeting and dinner date that day, as they were out bowling ,and we went to join them at the bowling alley.
Meant precious little as she still wasn't sure I was anything more than a dinner date. ;)
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Yes I'm sure over time you both come to care for each other, get through stuff together, get involved in family matters, social stuff, each other, etc.
However don't you think that upon meeting she made a value judgement on how attractive you looked and likely you did the same. Sure someone who is good socially or has other stuff going for him no doubt helps but a lot is down to whether you are actually attracted to the other person. Women do the same on this as men do, all this what's the person like inside is a load of horse sh*t that just isn't true and deflecting from reality. I'm sure she's a lovely personable person but if you weren't in the ball park for what she wanted then she would be off and vice versa. I mean who the hell looks on Fdate says to themselves 'ok there's a girl who doesn't look that pretty so I'll contact her and see what she has going in the inside'. The only people I can think that do that are guts that are ugly and desperate for anyone.
This tells me you have never had a long term relationship with a woman, Trench.
Physical appearance is how people on dating sites sort people they are willing to meet. That's about all. Even then, women will often meet with a man they don't find attractive, because they want to marry someone and are willing to expand their pool of eligible men. However, physical attraction doesn't keep people together.
I have a friend who is very pretty - much prettier than the girl whose photo you posted. She was pursued relentlessly by a man she had no interest in. He is average in looks, a bit arrogant, but overall he is kind and he is really smart, and made phenomenal money (not a factor for her - she made more). Eventually, he wore her down and she went out on a date with him, despite no interest. But she found his mind fascinating, and more to the point, he understood her. They have now been married over three decades, and are happy together. This isn't an outlier/unusual story.
Years ago, there was a poster here who was communicating with two women. He posted photos of both. One was a stunning beauty, even by Ukrainian standards. The other was pretty, but just average for Ukraine. He went to meet the second one, because he said her personality appealed to him/suited him more. The first woman seemed nice, he said, he just had more of a connection with the second.
By your standard, the man should have gone to meet the first woman. But he didn't. He's no longer on the forum, but he's been married to the second woman for over a decade.
I think you make generalizations that just don't hold up. I also think this type of tunnel vision thinking does you a disservice, particularly when you generalize your views to others.
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Ok then, I'll ask you straight, 'why do you think she introduced you to her parents the day after meeting you?'
Because she saw the potential for a relationship based on our interaction at our first meeting and valued her parents opinions. Also observe reactions from both sides. I.e. how I responded to her family.
Family ties are important in the culture.
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Because she saw the potential for a relationship based on our interaction at our first meeting and valued her parents opinions. Also observe reactions from both sides. I.e. how I responded to her family.
Family ties are important in the culture.
What did she judge this 'potential for a relationship' on? It surely couldn't have been that astounding a meeting that after one meet she decided upon this???
Did her parents speak English or you speak Russian?
It sounds an awfully tense and uncomfortable situation having them judging and scrutinizing you like your a subject of interest under a microscope not sure I would fancy being subjected to it. I know sone women do similar in the UK with their friends opinion I don't like the concept at all rather poor form I feel. Kind of always think the person should just go on what they think it's the only decent thing to do really I think.
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That scenario of scrutiny is going to happen in any culture.
More so cross culturally ( we fear the unknown,and want to protect our kids and friends)
But over all a local womans parents and friends are still going to scrutinize the man .
The time frame maybe more drawn out is all.
I guarantee you the reason I met my wife's friend,(at my wifes request) before meeting my wife was two fold, one she was a translator so my wife wanted me to meet her before our date to decide if I wanted her to accompany us(my wife was worried her own english wasnt adequate),another was for certain a surveillance mission hahaha to get her friends feedback on if her friend thought I was the type of person she thought I was. It's why the lunch.
On my end I knew this ,and i knew I'd get grilled by her friend, but dint mind.
I knew she was nervous of her spoken english skills ,even though we had talked countless times on the phone and on vid, and it showed me she wasn't an overly jealous or concerned type ,and also fairly confident, as her friend she certainly knew was drop dead gorgeous, perfect English, and sought after.
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Beo-
TC's journey reminds me of the children's poem..
You'll have to help me in translation? hahaha
But it has a lot of analogies to human personalities within a child's rhyme.
Buzzy the fly?
(Obviously it wont ryhme in English or be complete or in in proper order as I'm going from.memory)
The shiny (blow) fly finds a penny,
And she buys a tea kettle at the market
She invites all her friends to a party
( it's her birthday)
The grandmother bee brings honey,
The fleas bring shoes and trinkets,
The butterflies drink three cups each and eat crumpets(close as I can translate this snack to uk english)
The ants dance with cute ants ,while flirting with the lady bugs..
The shiny (wealthy) Beatles dance with the butterflies..
The fly tells everyone ,dont be rude eat eat eat !
The spider appears and lassos the moohah(fly) and drags her to the corner to eat her..
She pleads for help from the guests she has fed and entertained..
The cockroaches scurry under the couch,the others all run to cracks or under benches..
The big grasshopper jumps out the door ,under a bridge far away and sits quietly..
With noone to save her from.her horrible situation the bad spider bites her and smiles..
Along come the tiny mosquito with a flashlight and shouts where is the big bad spider,I am unafraid!
He cuts the spider and takes the fly to the window..
Tells her , he has saved her,so she must marry him.
The lightning bugs return and turn on thier lamps and the party and celebration resume.
********************
Don't be the grasshopper or the mosquito TC!!!
😊
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What did she judge this 'potential for a relationship' on? It surely couldn't have been that astounding a meeting that after one meet she decided upon this???
Trench, this was just a small step forward. We had been communicating for 2 months prior to meeting. It wasn’t as if we were getting hitched the next day.
Did her parents speak English or you speak Russian?
One doesn’t need to know a language to understand body language, tone and inflection.
It sounds an awfully tense and uncomfortable situation having them judging and scrutinizing you like your a subject of interest under a microscope not sure I would fancy being subjected to it. I know sone women do similar in the UK with their friends opinion I don't like the concept at all rather poor form I feel. Kind of always think the person should just go on what they think it's the only decent thing to do really I think.
You are reading too much into this. It was just an informal meeting, we went for a walk in Park Shevchenko and had coffee.
No interrogation was conducted.
No intrusive questions or third degree questioning.
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Trench, this was just a small step forward. We had been communicating for 2 months prior to meeting. It wasn’t as if we were getting hitched the next day.
One doesn’t need to know a language to understand body language, tone and inflection.
You are reading too much into this. It was just an informal meeting, we went for a walk in Park Shevchenko and had coffee.
No interrogation was conducted.
No intrusive questions or third degree questioning.
My guess is that your luck was in that they just wanted to see what you looked like in person and weren't expecting an in deep dialogue in Russian :)
Think it's just how it goes down and will likely differ with each girl. It's handy of course to see the girls family fairly early on so long as it's not an interrogation/verdict of the guy. Possibly older girls may do it more as I get the impression from Fdate that the girls in their thirties tend to be more serious on the whole than girls in their twenties. A girl in her twenties can say she is serious but still feel she had time to look around.
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That scenario of scrutiny is going to happen in any culture.
More so cross culturally ( we fear the unknown,and want to protect our kids and friends)
But over all a local womans parents and friends are still going to scrutinize the man .
The time frame maybe more drawn out is all.
I guarantee you the reason I met my wife's friend,(at my wifes request) before meeting my wife was two fold, one she was a translator so my wife wanted me to meet her before our date to decide if I wanted her to accompany us(my wife was worried her own english wasnt adequate),another was for certain a surveillance mission hahaha to get her friends feedback on if her friend thought I was the type of person she thought I was. It's why the lunch.
On my end I knew this ,and i knew I'd get grilled by her friend, but dint mind.
I knew she was nervous of her spoken english skills ,even though we had talked countless times on the phone and on vid, and it showed me she wasn't an overly jealous or concerned type ,and also fairly confident, as her friend she certainly knew was drop dead gorgeous, perfect English, and sought after.
That's funny Jumper, it sounds like your wife punted her very pretty friend forward to see if you would go for her lol. So in a way a trap was set for you, my guess is that if you had cracked into her, even eyed her up then you wouldn't have gotten either ;)
She no doubt saw her friend as reliable but if she did turn out otherwise then she at least knows she can't be trusted and better of without her and the potential suitor.
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Yew Betcha!
It wasn't Norf Dekody advice, it was advice for those in Blighty.
I'm in Texas now and we are still learning how to survive the bitterly cold
winters here. This week it's been getting colder than 70F. So we mostly
stay inside a lot ;D If it gets any colder, I'll start making hot cocoa.
Funny thing is that it doesn't get that cold here in Blighty as it used to. We used to get 4-5 months of pretty cold weather, in recent years it has only been about 3 months, typically Dec-Feb. Even in Nov this year I was outside doing the flat roof to my roof extension, that would be real wet, cold and difficult in previous years. Even within the 3 cold weather months there's only the odd few days where the weather get pretty cold. The rest of the time it's around roughly 8-12 degrees Celsius during the day. At night it can go down to around 2-6 degrees Celsius or so commonly. Mind you I live down south so often a fair bit better weather than up north.
Anyhow it means that it's probably about ideal weather for tights rather than women wearing all this heshe gear of jeans, trousers, etc. They still do of course which is a pain, my guess is that Russian tights would more than do the job.
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That's funny Jumper, it sounds like your wife punted her very pretty friend forward to see if you would go for her lol. So in a way a trap was set for you, my guess is that if you had cracked into her, even eyed her up then you wouldn't have gotten either ;)
She no doubt saw her friend as reliable but if she did turn out otherwise then she at least knows she can't be trusted and better of without her and the potential suitor.
It could be viewed as a test *
There could be an element of that within it.
I did not care either way. I hadn't met her yet.
After knowing her more than a decade, and long term marraige...
I can pretty much say with a good degree of confidence lol, that the main purpose was to get my approval to use her friend as translator for our first meeting.
I had shown some small reservation about it ,as I felt her English quite adequate as we had been joking around on the phone and vid chat for a couple of months daily. The other aspect was certainly she wanted her friends opinion,and part of why she wanted her along on the date.
She knew her friend being very fluent,would catch nuances of speech and meaning that she might not,things that can more accurately gauge personality,character etc.
Her friend was only along on that first dinner, but we did go meet the group of friends she normally interacted with later that night.
Both a fun thing to do, and likely a bit if getting their impressions as well.
Funny incident,the next day we met another close friend while at a small cafe. It wasnt random.of course,we were eating,her friend was in the area so she called her to stop by to.meet.
It was a mere 4 or 5 minute exchange at the cafe,and she was off ..
But I caught her giving my wife a thumbs up sign from outside the cafe window ( I had excused myself from the table)
Mid sign* she saw i had walked back in view and had caught her, we all laughed.
Again i dint make much out of it,mostly friends joking around.
But honestly within the first 3 days I had met all the people she considered important in her life.
Most merely joked around or light conversation, some more striaght to the pointvled questions of my intents with thier friend ,clearly stating she was special to them and voicing their concerns.
I actually felt this a quite good thing that she had good solid friends hat valued her and looking out for her(even though those questions dint bother me, they likely embarrassed her somewhat)
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Funny thing is that it doesn't get that cold here in Blighty as it used to. We used to get 4-5 months of pretty cold weather, in recent years it has only been about 3 months, typically Dec-Feb. Even in Nov this year I was outside doing the flat roof to my roof extension, that would be real wet, cold and difficult in previous years. Even within the 3 cold weather months there's only the odd few days where the weather get pretty cold. The rest of the time it's around roughly 8-12 degrees Celsius during the day. At night it can go down to around 2-6 degrees Celsius or so commonly. Mind you I live down south so often a fair bit better weather than up north.
Anyhow it means that it's probably about ideal weather for tights rather than women wearing all this heshe gear of jeans, trousers, etc. They still do of course which is a pain, my guess is that Russian tights would more than do the job.
-12C was the high today.
I'm quite happy my wife wears pants 🤣 otherwise I'd question her sanity.
Again,I'd not worry much about this kind of thing, its superficial.and not important in your daily married life
.
To.top it off while you can find any kind of woman in the FSU, the odds of you finding one that wont dress *up enough* for uk ,
is so slim to be incalculable.
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To.top it off while you can find any kind of woman in the FSU, the odds of you finding one that wont dress *up enough* for uk , is so slim to be incalculable.
+100
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This tells me you have never had a long term relationship with a woman, Trench.
Physical appearance is how people on dating sites sort people they are willing to meet. That's about all. Even then, women will often meet with a man they don't find attractive, because they want to marry someone and are willing to expand their pool of eligible men. However, physical attraction doesn't keep people together.
I think you make generalizations that just don't hold up. I also think this type of tunnel vision thinking does you a disservice, particularly when you generalize your views to others.
Trench is screaming at the top of his lungs, but you are hearing what you want to hear. You aren't listening.
For some people, it really IS about looks.
But why?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JhtV5Z1HsAs
When you realize WHY looks are so important to Trench, suddenly everything makes sense. His extreme trust issues, etc.
Fearful avoidant attachment style.
aka Disorganized attachment style
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Sure TC's insecurities, self esteem, over analytical issues are going to drive his superficial concerns.
He takes the flack dished out here pretty well though.
The biggest thing that almost everyone has mentioned to him the last decade is his insecurity.
It's like putting on *run away from me fast* cologne.
It's a self fulfilling prophesy as well,as if you are truly insecure ,she(if not a damaged codependent) is pretty sure to leave you.
Paranoia will destroya
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Sure TC's insecurities, self esteem, over analytical issues are going to drive his superficial concerns.
AJ-
The subject person is nearly half a century old. ‘Drive’ no longer applies at his age. ‘Driven decades ago’ would be more apt. Both his age and social attitude will render any/all accomplishment, if he even gets that far, doomed to failure with a quickening.
That’s not an attack on TC. It’s a statement of fact. He had made it more than obvious in his nearly a decade long excursion of dating speculations, that the only redeeming quality he is taking to the table is he’s the vehicle for any FSUW of reaching the UK.
It’s getting to the point in his life that companionship is defined by simply getting a pet goldfish in a bowl.
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Paranoia will destroya
That's a Billyb'ism!
He had made it more than obvious in his nearly a decade long excursion of dating speculations, that the only redeeming quality he is taking to the table is he’s the vehicle for any FSUW of reaching the UK.
How cruel! He actually has quite a sense of humor.
Fathertime!
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GQ-
Well, I'd like to entertain hope,as people can change.
At any rate the odds certainly are you're correct.
I'd just suggest a dog instead of gold fish, a good mutt might spark some change or even interaction with locals as TC walks him.
My old guy has failing health, and beyond treatments, so we hit the local fast food place for
a side of bacon most mornings lately. It's not good for him,but at this point it's a quality of life thang and he still actively looks forward to jumping in,and watching for the turn/road to the drive thru. The staff knows its for him,so they often hook him up.
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That's a Billyb'ism!
:)
I forgot he used it. I was quoting the song
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Guys, in these Covid times the idea is to not socialise much, an area I could start giving lessons in how to socially distance ;) So if social skills are no longer required then we can dispense with all of that and all instead have entirely functionary dating and relationships, tick the box here and commit, dating, marriage, kids, etc. It would make things far simpler and straight forward and just do the things most people want to do anyway without all the fuss.
I mean why have all these long convoluted dating things of this means that, misunderstandings, toxic relationships, relationship fallout, ending badly, etc. Seems to work ok for the arranged marriage crowd.
I definitely think VK proves that many guys get turned on by hot women given all the like clicks & comments for them. I definitely don't think I'm alone there it's a natural impluse for most guys to fixate on that, similar for many girls fixating in hot guys as well I think after all Brad Pitt is where he is for a reason.
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I could probably garner about £1k in the UK from renting out my house. A girl in the FSW would probably look upon me like a god. It's not that it's a lot of money but all she would see is a foreign guy who has the wealth to stroll around without having to work, able to buy food, clothing and entertainment without having to work for it. Able to pursue my own project or desires and having the time and money behind me to do it. So it's there that I have my greatest pull. Bring her back to the UK however and everything gets a whole lot harder, different even. Here I'm just another regular Joe with a bog standard house.
Why do you think an FSW girl would consider you "a god", for having £1,000/month? You realize that the median, average income in Belarus is about £800-900, right? In Russia, it is 110,000 RUB - just a little over £1,000. Ukraine has a much lower median of £600/month but the upper average is higher.
In other words, you could have a comfortable (average) income in one of these countries. Comfortable. Average. Not celebrity or extraordinary. And on top of that, there are other things to consider:
1. You are renting out a property and living in another country. Spoiler alert: tenants are not all going to treat your property like it's their own. And they will rightfully expect regular and necessary maintenance on the property. Who is managing the property for you? What are you going to do when it needs repair or renovation?
2. Exchange costs. How much are you going to lose, transferring the money each month?
3. Language barriers. How fluent are you in Russian, Ukrainian, etc.? How are you going to deal with opening a bank account? Legal documents? Buying or renting property?
4. Cultural barriers. How invested in their traditions are you, now? How much are you willing to adopt and learn?
5. How are you going to buy a home?
6. Dealing with different governments, visas, etc.
7. Most importantly, what do you offer her, as a person?
Getting into a relationship with you means that she is taking on several burdens. If you live in her country, it's going to be your job to adapt and hers to help you. She will have to deal with lots of translation concerns and cultural differences. She will feel badly when you miss jokes in her native language or sit awkwardly, unable to respond when her friends make a cultural reference anyone else would understand. You will need to work hard to make sure she doesn't feel like a failure.
If she chose one of the local blokes, instead, there would be far less trouble to deal with. He could do a lot of the heavy lifting that you won't be able to. It will take you years of investment to reach that point. If you do that right, you'll hardly have time for your own "projects". Your desire will need to be integration and cultural adoption.
The work is hardly enough to make an average or above-average single income worthwhile (for two people!), unless you are a person worth sacrificing for. It most certainly will never make any girl perceive you as "a god".
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Why do you think an FSW girl would consider you "a god", for having £1,000/month? You realize that the median, average income in Belarus is about £800-900, right? In Russia, it is 110,000 RUB - just a little over £1,000. Ukraine has a much lower median of £600/month but the upper average is higher.
In other words, you could have a comfortable (average) income in one of these countries. Comfortable. Average. Not celebrity or extraordinary. And on top of that, there are other things to consider:
1. You are renting out a property and living in another country. Spoiler alert: tenants are not all going to treat your property like it's their own. And they will rightfully expect regular and necessary maintenance on the property. Who is managing the property for you? What are you going to do when it needs repair or renovation?
2. Exchange costs. How much are you going to lose, transferring the money each month?
3. Language barriers. How fluent are you in Russian, Ukrainian, etc.? How are you going to deal with opening a bank account? Legal documents? Buying or renting property?
4. Cultural barriers. How invested in their traditions are you, now? How much are you willing to adopt and learn?
5. How are you going to buy a home?
6. Dealing with different governments, visas, etc.
7. Most importantly, what do you offer her, as a person?
Getting into a relationship with you means that she is taking on several burdens. If you live in her country, it's going to be your job to adapt and hers to help you. She will have to deal with lots of translation concerns and cultural differences. She will feel badly when you miss jokes in her native language or sit awkwardly, unable to respond when her friends make a cultural reference anyone else would understand. You will need to work hard to make sure she doesn't feel like a failure.
If she chose one of the local blokes, instead, there would be far less trouble to deal with. He could do a lot of the heavy lifting that you won't be able to. It will take you years of investment to reach that point. If you do that right, you'll hardly have time for your own "projects". Your desire will need to be integration and cultural adoption.
The work is hardly enough to make an average or above-average single income worthwhile (for two people!), unless you are a person worth sacrificing for. It most certainly will never make any girl perceive you as "a god".
Excellent post.
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Excellent post.
Thank you! It comes from experience and a hope that I can impart a little wisdom.
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Thank you! It comes from experience and a hope that I can impart a little wisdom.
We have long since given up on any hope of imparting wisdom gleaned from our collective experiences to Trench.
Hence the rather jaded responses you see.
It’s good to get a fresh perspective..
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We have long since given up on any hope of imparting wisdom gleaned from our collective experiences to Trench.
Hence the rather jaded responses you see.
It’s good to get a fresh perspective..
Cheers. I've noticed the good advice and his apparent lack of absorbing it. I still want him to find a girl and I hope he can one day take a proper look at himself and recognise reality.
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Why do you think an FSW girl would consider you "a god", for having £1,000/month? You realize that the median, average income in Belarus is about £800-900, right? In Russia, it is 110,000 RUB - just a little over £1,000. Ukraine has a much lower median of £600/month but the upper average is higher.
In other words, you could have a comfortable (average) income in one of these countries. Comfortable. Average. Not celebrity or extraordinary. And on top of that, there are other things to consider:
1. You are renting out a property and living in another country. Spoiler alert: tenants are not all going to treat your property like it's their own. And they will rightfully expect regular and necessary maintenance on the property. Who is managing the property for you? What are you going to do when it needs repair or renovation?
2. Exchange costs. How much are you going to lose, transferring the money each month?
3. Language barriers. How fluent are you in Russian, Ukrainian, etc.? How are you going to deal with opening a bank account? Legal documents? Buying or renting property?
4. Cultural barriers. How invested in their traditions are you, now? How much are you willing to adopt and learn?
5. How are you going to buy a home?
6. Dealing with different governments, visas, etc.
7. Most importantly, what do you offer her, as a person?
Getting into a relationship with you means that she is taking on several burdens. If you live in her country, it's going to be your job to adapt and hers to help you. She will have to deal with lots of translation concerns and cultural differences. She will feel badly when you miss jokes in her native language or sit awkwardly, unable to respond when her friends make a cultural reference anyone else would understand. You will need to work hard to make sure she doesn't feel like a failure.
If she chose one of the local blokes, instead, there would be far less trouble to deal with. He could do a lot of the heavy lifting that you won't be able to. It will take you years of investment to reach that point. If you do that right, you'll hardly have time for your own "projects". Your desire will need to be integration and cultural adoption.
The work is hardly enough to make an average or above-average single income worthwhile (for two people!), unless you are a person worth sacrificing for. It most certainly will never make any girl perceive you as "a god".
Partly answered in my newer thread but I'll go over it again. The medium average salary is not the mode average salary, most FSU people don't get that medium salary, they get less. Even if they do get around that medium salary they have to work for it, I won't, if they lose their job the salary goes. All of that will make me look good in the eyes of a FSW. She won't know the salary I'm bringing in just that I can afford a reasonable place to live our there (temporarily) and I don't have to work, that will all add up in her eyes to a guy who is quite desirable.
A lot of your points you've mentioned are like we are living a decade ago, most of these are easily solved these days.
1. I'll be renting out the rooms in my property, they pay if they don't they're out the door. I take a deposit to cover any damage and any maintenance that needs doing I get someone in for, heard of email?
2. I have a credit card which transfers currencies without fees, so no real problem there.
3. I'll use my UK bank accounts no need to open up Ukrainian ones. Rental is easy enough, if a terp is required I'll hire one. I have basic Russian understanding, it needs improving but it will surface, add to that Google translate is good these days and many people speak English out there.
4. I'm quite an easy going sort of guy. I don't mind their culture and traditions that I know of them. I don't particularly see anything that would cause a barrier there of any significance.
5. I already own a home in the UK outright. I wouldn't buy one in Ukraine as it's too dodgy for a foreigner to do so, better to rent. Once married to a girl I could consider buying in Ukraine under joint names as then half will be in her name so they won't touch it, all dependant on situation though.
6. I would use the 3 month visa free tourist visa to begin with, if it pans out then I'll move forward from there in the most appropriate way.
7. I would be offering her a lifestyle that most Ukrainian guys would not be able to offer her. Women often moan when the guy they are married to is always at work and hence no fun. If a woman wants kids then having access to a western country (the UK being the prime one in Europe due to the best exchange rate, education, jobs, etc) is going to be a great asset for those kids. Imagine her children being able to live and earn in the UK and then buy property in Ukraine, a lot more bang for their buck.
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Partly answered in my newer thread but I'll go over it again. The medium average salary is not the mode average salary, most FSU people don't get that medium salary, they get less. Even if they do get around that medium salary they have to work for it, I won't, if they lose their job the salary goes. All of that will make me look good in the eyes of a FSW. She won't know the salary I'm bringing in just that I can afford a reasonable place to live our there (temporarily) and I don't have to work, that will all add up in her eyes to a guy who is quite desirable.
A lot of your points you've mentioned are like we are living a decade ago, most of these are easily solved these days.
1. I'll be renting out the rooms in my property, they pay if they don't they're out the door. I take a deposit to cover any damage and any maintenance that needs doing I get someone in for, heard of email?
2. I have a credit card which transfers currencies without fees, so no real problem there.
3. I'll use my UK bank accounts no need to open up Ukrainian ones. Rental is easy enough, if a terp is required I'll hire one. I have basic Russian understanding, it needs improving but it will surface, add to that Google translate is good these days and many people speak English out there.
4. I'm quite an easy going sort of guy. I don't mind their culture and traditions that I know of them. I don't particularly see anything that would cause a barrier there of any significance.
5. I already own a home in the UK outright. I wouldn't buy one in Ukraine as it's too dodgy for a foreigner to do so, better to rent. Once married to a girl I could consider buying in Ukraine under joint names as then half will be in her name so they won't touch it, all dependant on situation though.
6. I would use the 3 month visa free tourist visa to begin with, if it pans out then I'll move forward from there in the most appropriate way.
7. I would be offering her a lifestyle that most Ukrainian guys would not be able to offer her. Women often moan when the guy they are married to is always at work and hence no fun. If a woman wants kids then having access to a western country (the UK being the prime one in Europe due to the best exchange rate, education, jobs, etc) is going to be a great asset for those kids. Imagine her children being able to live and earn in the UK and then buy property in Ukraine, a lot more bang for their buck.
The salary I quoted is the average median for one person. 50% make more and 50% make less. Of course, it depends where in the country you are but what you're talking about isn't going to be extraordinary. It's also only a single income and most couples have two (both work). If your situation goes beyond a couple of dates, she will know how much you make. It's still going to come down to what do you offer her, as a person.
1. In other words, you'll have to pay and trust someone. And you don't seem to understand. It's not about a person paying for a room or not (though I have seen even that fall apart). It's that things go wrong and people aren't always honest. Managing a rental property is a job. It takes time. People get paid to do it. Have you done it before?
2. Have you lived in another country? It's one thing to live on a credit card in the short term. In the long term, you need things like a bank account.
3. That won't help you engage in real conversations or understand important documents. It works when you're on holiday, not in long-term everyday life.
4. Good.
5. Again, not the point. If you get serious about a girl, she's going to want to own a place. Renting isn't a great long-term strategy. How much of that income are you going to save, each month?
6. Again, this will be more complicated once you need anything beyond a basic tourist visa.
7. There are advantages but you're ignoring the realities that I mentioned. There are also disadvantages. Settling down in another country is a big step, especially when you don't speak the language. Integrating is a lot of work. Have you done it before? Maybe the woman in question would find it appealing for her kids to be educated in the UK and maybe not. You can't assume that. Plus, it would be expensive.
The fact that you don't go to work isn't automatically appealing. A woman isn't excited about a man who sits at home all day. A woman wants to be proud of her husband and what he does. Some women complain that their husbands works too much but some complain that he is at home too much or doesn't do anything with his time.
All this boils down to something really simple. £1,000/month isn't going to make you a rockstar. There would be lots of expenses and you'd need to manage the income carefully.
More importantly, it's not going to change the amount of work that being in an international, multi-cultural, multi-language relationship is going to require.
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The salary I quoted is the average median for one person. 50% make more and 50% make less. Of course, it depends where in the country you are but what you're talking about isn't going to be extraordinary. It's also only a single income and most couples have two (both work). If your situation goes beyond a couple of dates, she will know how much you make. It's still going to come down to what do you offer her, as a person.
1. In other words, you'll have to pay and trust someone. And you don't seem to understand. It's not about a person paying for a room or not (though I have seen even that fall apart). It's that things go wrong and people aren't always honest. Managing a rental property is a job. It takes time. People get paid to do it. Have you done it before?
2. Have you lived in another country? It's one thing to live on a credit card in the short term. In the long term, you need things like a bank account.
3. That won't help you engage in real conversations or understand important documents. It works when you're on holiday, not in long-term everyday life.
4. Good.
5. Again, not the point. If you get serious about a girl, she's going to want to own a place. Renting isn't a great long-term strategy. How much of that income are you going to save, each month?
6. Again, this will be more complicated once you need anything beyond a basic tourist visa.
7. There are advantages but you're ignoring the realities that I mentioned. There are also disadvantages. Settling down in another country is a big step, especially when you don't speak the language. Integrating is a lot of work. Have you done it before? Maybe the woman in question would find it appealing for her kids to be educated in the UK and maybe not. You can't assume that. Plus, it would be expensive.
The fact that you don't go to work isn't automatically appealing. A woman isn't excited about a man who sits at home all day. A woman wants to be proud of her husband and what he does. Some women complain that their husbands works too much but some complain that he is at home too much or doesn't do anything with his time.
All this boils down to something really simple. £1,000/month isn't going to make you a rockstar. There would be lots of expenses and you'd need to manage the income carefully.
More importantly, it's not going to change the amount of work that being in an international, multi-cultural, multi-language relationship is going to require.
Generally with medium average salary workings the top higher salaries are fewer but go really high, say those earning tens or hundreds of thousands, or millions of pounds/dollars or Ukrainian equivalent. They tend to shift the average figure up a lot but not many people earn that average, most will earn below it. Two people can work but in Ukraine often the woman will just want the man to work especially if she has children. If the women does work commonly (but not always) she will earn way less than the man unless in finance or some other field where women can do well.
1. I haven't rented out a room before or been an agent, but I have worked in places where such has gone on. I read up on the internet about the ins & outs of it and have a fair idea of the type of characters you can get. The house is near a uni area so something like a few quiet studious students would be a good bet I'm thinking. I know stuff can go wrong but here it's a case of call someone in or give directions to tenant on what to do if a simple operation will provide a quick fix. I'm quite up on home maintenance/building services so it shouldn't be a problem.
2. I have never lived in another country. With the credit card it's a UK credit card and can be paid off monthly from a UK bank account so it shouldn't be a problem.
3. I shouldn't really have any important documents in the short term, rental agreement I can use Google translate to translate to get the gist of it. Should be fairly straightforward but can get a terp if needs be. Anything further I don't think will come in the short term. Once with a girl she can do a lot of that stuff.
4-
5. Owning a place in Ukraine I am open to. It is unlikely that I would save much income while there. Mostly it would come from mortgaging my place in the UK. UK property tends to have a high price so that is where us UK guys can leverage if we own property.
6. It will get more complicated, it will depend on marriage & girl doing some input with the paperwork. If not at that stage then meeting in a third country until at that stage or another 3 months comes around.
7. Are you kidding, I don't even integrate in this country so Ukraine would be no different ;D I'm used not to integrating, anywhere! :D Seriously, I know it's something to be worked at and it takes time. Initially it would just be temporary for 3 months and then depends on outcome. Overall I would kind of like a situation where it's a bit back and forth between the UK and Ukraine, making the best of both worlds hopefully. Men can sometimes be away for days doing business abroad so once the right balance us achieved it can work n theory at least. State education is free in the UK and generally good quality. I would not be so bothered about that though. There is a lot of feminism in the west that I do not like nor would want any kids to grow up influenced by. I think the main thing would be them being able to work in the UK, they would of course have dual nationality through me so that would be possible.
Me not working is something to deal with indeed. I know Kherson girl (we broke up a while ago) was not keen on it when I brought it up in terms of me suggesting that I work in Ukraine. She asked what would I do, the work ideas she did not like, the idea of me doing nothing even less so as if she had a vision of me shagging other women all day long lol. I think I would kind of have an offbeat sort of thing going, it wouldn't likely bring in much money but it would act as a decent cover for what I do work wise without taking up too much time I think.
I know £1k a month isn't going to make me a rockstar, it just needs to provide a look and lifestyle that is appealing to these women.
I know a multi-cultural, multi-language relationship is nit always easy, to be honest the girl might not be able to bridge some of the concepts I come out with in her mind. I find they tend to have a pretty rigid thinking pattern while in the west we tend to be more open to thinking about and trying different things. End if the day it's either going to work or it isn't, if a girl gets into a rigid mindset then that can make it a lot more difficult to work.
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I have dated woman in both countries and live in Ukriane. There’s no difference in the way they dress or act really. Lol
You have no clue about woman at all.
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You have no clue about woman at all.
Which woman (singular) are you talking about?
The one named Natasha ?
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I know £1k a month isn't going to make me a rockstar, it just needs to provide a look and lifestyle that is appealing to these women.
For three months you can live off your £1000 rental income plus put stuff on the credit card, but this will be the high watermark of the low cost playboy lifestyle.
And what happens after the cheap holiday in other people's misery? Are you keeping one room free in your refurbished house for yourself or will you go live at your mum's? If I was a student paying £400-500 a month for a bedroom and facilities I sure as hell would not want to be house sharing with the landlord.
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For three months you can live off your £1000 rental income plus put stuff on the credit card, but this will be the high watermark of the low cost playboy lifestyle.
And what happens after the cheap holiday in other people's misery? Are you keeping one room free in your refurbished house for yourself or will you go live at your mum's? If I was a student paying £400-500 a month for a bedroom and facilities I sure as hell would not want to be house sharing with the landlord.
What do you mean on other people's misery? If you mean those renting off me the house will be quite nicely done up and every bedroom will have an ensuite toilet. The bedrooms are quite spacious and I intend to put a large TV up in the small lounge also so it shouldn't be a miserable experience for anyone. I wouldn't like that myself, to live in a dive/pokey room that's cold and uninviting so I have no wish to inflict it on others.
I will likely state on the ad that I won't be around much as have business to do elsewhere. I'm guessing such a place might be attractive to a studious kind of student or a mature student/post-grad. I prefer that over the party crowd type of student less likely to damage the place, ay least that is the hope lol.
I'm hoping that the extra facilities, the spacious rooms and nicer decor will offset any hang up about the landlord potentially popping up here & there. The place will be done out in a fairly formal, plain, consistent style so hopefully not too much like someone else's home like. I'll give that a go and adjust the approach if needs be. My reckoning is that I'll get someone willing as not all students like to live with groups of others I'm thinking.
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What do you mean on other people's misery? If you mean those renting off me the house will be quite nicely done up and every bedroom will have an ensuite toilet. The bedrooms are quite spacious and I intend to put a large TV up in the small lounge also so it shouldn't be a miserable experience for anyone. I wouldn't like that myself, to live in a dive/pokey room that's cold and uninviting so I have no wish to inflict it on others.
I will likely state on the ad that I won't be around much as have business to do elsewhere. I'm guessing such a place might be attractive to a studious kind of student or a mature student/post-grad. I prefer that over the party crowd type of student less likely to damage the place, ay least that is the hope lol.
I'm hoping that the extra facilities, the spacious rooms and nicer decor will offset any hang up about the landlord potentially popping up here & there. The place will be done out in a fairly formal, plain, consistent style so hopefully not too much like someone else's home like. I'll give that a go and adjust the approach if needs be. My reckoning is that I'll get someone willing as not all students like to live with groups of others I'm thinking.
The cheap holiday line is a quote from the opening line of a Sex Pistols song. I was referring to your stay in Ukraine, unfairly in retrospect. So apologies.
Understand that your plan is being tested to destruction as if it goes wrong it could go very wrong and I don't think anyone wants that to happen.
I like your approach to tenants as that is how I see things. What you have done to your house and your plan for renting I cannot find fault with. Where you live and what you do with your time in the future is another matter, but this Trench 2.0 is a step up from the previous one that has frequented this website.
I also admire your calmness that you display here which is an admirable quality you would bring to a relationship.
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The cheap holiday line is a quote from the opening line of a Sex Pistols song. I was referring to your stay in Ukraine, unfairly in retrospect. So apologies.
Understand that your plan is being tested to destruction as if it goes wrong it could go very wrong and I don't see think anyone wants that to happen.
I like your approach to tenants as that is how I see things. What you have done to your house and your plan for renting I cannot find fault with. Where you live and what you do with your time in the future is another matter, but this Trench 2.0 is a step up from the previous one that has frequented this website.
I also admire your calmness that you display here which is an admirable quality you would bring to a relationship.
Oh I see what you mean, no worries I'm not offended. There is some truth in it I guess but that can be similar for most guys looking for a girl in the FSU. Some may well go with FSW who are well off enough, they may be fishing there for other reasons.
I personally believe in the idea of Hypergamy that people in general have a whole range of attributes that means they tend to peg higher or lower on the Hypergamy scale depending on how the potential mate views them of course. So for example a girl who is pretty and has a happy persona will tend to rate higher than a similarly pretty girl who is miserable all the time, unless the guy like a sullen type of girl but not many do or perhaps only so sullen.
So idk it depends how you view it, those girls that are poor out there it can give them the opportunity to enjoy a better life that they otherwise may not have. For me it gives me the potential to come up higher in the Hypergamy scale by doing well in an area that is important out there than many Ukrainian men may struggle with. I think life is kind of random, some people are born pretty and don't have no problems dating, but then some are born pretty but in a poor country. Others are born not so pretty but in a wealthy country and then there are a load of other attributes to consider also. So it's really luck of the draw and everyone just has to end up using the best attributes they've got. Pretty people use their looks to get on so it's really just me using whatever I've got. I think as long as it's not to do anyone harm then while situation is as it is its not really a negative or underhand thing is the way I see it.
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Us poor folk marry every day tc, you have hope.
The champagne tastes on a beer budget seem the crux here ;)
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Which woman (singular) are you talking about?
The one named Natasha ?
Women… spell checker got me again.