Finding a Russian woman for rural living

[PARADOJAS]

I also posted this message over at "Odds and Ends."

A bit of background first: I was a member here about a decade ago. I've spent five weeks in St. Petersburg (1999) and a month in Donetsk, Ukraine. In Donetsk, I lived with a former girlfriend and got as far with the immigration process as the final interview in Warsaw before things imploded. That was in 2001.

Now in 2011 after another decade of dating American women, I am, to put it bluntly, fed up. (I'm sure the women I've dated would say the same about me.) I have a fairly simple lifestyle (by choice), tending toward living off-grid, growing organic food and creating as much as my own energy while retaining a reasonable amount of comfort. I'd like to find a site with Russian women --in the 40-50 age group--who might be into a similar lifestyle. I have enough assets to support a woman, but not enough to support more than one child. Any suggestions?

[ML]

Go to Singles.ru

Pull up the English version.

Pay around $12 to get premium membership for a month.  This allows for detailed search options.

Tens of thousands of FSU women there. 
Look for those who do not live in the  major cities.

Best of luck to you.

[PARADOJAS]

Thanks for the contact to singles.ru. I'll check it out.

[Nat]

I also posted this message over at "Odds and Ends."

A bit of background first: I was a member here about a decade ago. I've spent five weeks in St. Petersburg (1999) and a month in Donetsk, Ukraine. In Donetsk, I lived with a former girlfriend and got as far with the immigration process as the final interview in Warsaw before things imploded. That was in 2001.

Now in 2011 after another decade of dating American women, I am, to put it bluntly, fed up. (I'm sure the women I've dated would say the same about me.) I have a fairly simple lifestyle (by choice), tending toward living off-grid, growing organic food and creating as much as my own energy while retaining a reasonable amount of comfort. I'd like to find a site with Russian women --in the 40-50 age group--who might be into a similar lifestyle. I have enough assets to support a woman, but not enough to support more than one child. Any suggestions?

It seems to me it'll be as difficult to find such a Russian woman, as it is to find such an American one, or even more difficult. The matter is that you obviously need a woman who likes and leads "green" lifestyle. It seems to me there are more such people in the USA in the first place, because it's a trendy way of living there now. Those, who prefer to lead such a lifestyle here, in FSU, usually don't have the Internet and a computer in general, because our villages differ a lot from American ones
It seems to me that there must be women in the USA, who are also concerned about the environment and who'll be happy to share such a lifestyle with you. The odds of you finding such a woman in Russia using the Internet seem to be quite low, though.

[Muzh]

That's an excellent poit, Nat.

[PARADOJAS]

Nat,

I totally agree with you--it's a shot in the dark. I was semi-engaged to a Russian woman for a while, and I guess the memories still linger. Most of the women I've dated recently are either too neurotic or have a very 9-5 structured lifestyle. Also, there is a preponderence of lesbians (not that there is anything wrong with that) that not only limits the amount of available women, but also is competition.  What's a guy to do?

[PARADOJAS]

Oh, I should add I live in rural northern New England.

[GoodOlBoy]

Hello PARADOJAS.
I really wish you the best of luck.
You are going to need it!
 
Living in North Miami Beach (Sunny Isles Beach) FL with literally thousands of FSUW all around me, I can state with complete confidence that most if not all of them have one thing in common (old or young)....they absolutely DEPLORE "villages".

A lot of them left (escaped) from villages in the FSU and have stated to both my wife and I on several different occasions that they would NEVER consider returning to that lifestyle again.

As others have already mentioned upthread, this is going to take a lot of time, money (many trips to the FSU) and patience on your part to find the "right" one.

GOB

PS...Just my suggestions: Learn some Russian, because you are looking for an uneducated village woman (little or no English skills). Probably with little access to the internet or modern technology (cell phone). Maybe do some searching in the "stans"?

[dbneeley]

The largest barrier is likely the lack of understanding of the differences in a rural lifestyle in the U.S. compared to their frame of reference in the FSU. That is something that crops up quite often, even with people who simply live in smaller cities let alone in completely rural environments.

Perhaps you could describe it as living permanently in your dacha!   

Then there is the possibility of someone from another culture feeling completely isolated in such an environment. The transition is often very difficult even in the city life that they are more used to. Moving from a large FSU city to a rural, offgrid homestead would be that much more of a shock.

On the other hand, I'm not so sure that trying to find a lady with little education or sophistication would be particularly simple either, for a whole host of other reasons.

However, there are people in the FSU who are somewhat more attuned to issues you may have in common. I suspect, for example, that you may find a higher acceptance rate for your chosen lifestyle among the vegetarians here in the FSU, to give but one example. Consciousness of conservation of resources is growing slowly here--so finding someone who shares an appreciation for your values and choices may be difficult but may not be completely impossible.

As I began, though, the single biggest barrier may be simply to get someone used to the idea that living in a rural environment does not necessarily mean even remotely the same thing as it might in the FSU.

David

[Blues Fairy]

A lot of them left (escaped) from villages in the FSU and have stated to both my wife and I on several different occasions that they would NEVER consider returning to that lifestyle again.

Considering this, it probably makes more sense for the OP to look in big polluted cities like Moscow or St. Pete, for a woman who is fed up with her 9-5(6,7,8) job, daily commute in the crowded subway, 24/7 traffic jams, long sunless winters, and lack of escapes to nature.  I bet there are quite a few - career ladies by necessity, gardeners at heart.    

[Chicagoguy]

My wife and I met a Russian woman last Summer in Northern Wisconsin who lives in what I would call a semi remote area. Can't see the neighbors houses and nearby town is about 1000 and 4 mi. away.

But is has tourists and some small sophistication. Her husband is an OTR driver and gone for a week at a time leaving her and her 8 year old son alone.

But they lack for nothing in creature comforts and she was going to get a driving license this past Fall. She will have her own car. It helps that she speaks good English.
 When we were leaving her house my Russia wife remarked " I would never do that"!
This woman was from a city so your search might turn up something.

[GoodOlBoy]

Considering this, it probably makes more sense for the OP to look in big polluted cities like Moscow or St. Pete, for a woman who is fed up with her 9-5(6,7,8) job, daily commute in the crowded subway, 24/7 traffic jams, long sunless winters, and lack of escapes to nature.  I bet there are quite a few - career ladies by necessity, gardeners at heart.    

Also consider this:
The same woman that BF describes above (40's-50's, highly educated, sophisticated, Moscovite) is so miserable and ready to escape (because she has no other options available), she and her kid decide to "mule" you over to the GoodOl' USA (the land of milk and honey).


GOB

[Blues Fairy]

The same woman that BF describes above (40's-50's, highly educated, sophisticated, Moscovite) is so miserable and ready to escape (because she has no other options available), she and her kid decide to "mule" you over to the GoodOl' USA (the land of milk and honey).

Are you suggesting there are no women who would sincerely trade their hectic big-city lifestyle for quiet New England countryside?

[tim 360]

There is "rural" and there is "remote".  Like some parts of VT's Northeast Kingdom would be remote. When you say "off the grid". Just what do you mean?  I know a girl who says she lives off the grid and she's got electric from the power company, cable tv, DSL, land and cell phones.  She says it OTG because she has a well and septic?

A friend from Kiev (24) loves snowboarding and outdoor sports and likes living in/near ski resorts.  Currently she and hubby relocated to Breckenridge, CO.  She still likes cities but prefers to visit them, not live in them.

[GoodOlBoy]

Are you suggesting there are no women who would sincerely trade their hectic big-city lifestyle for quiet New England countryside?

BF...I am not arguing with you.

I can only say that out of the hundreds (no joking) of FSUW that my wife and I have come in contact with during the last 3 years of living in this Russian community (SIB), none would ever contemplate living the OP's lifestyle and I mean NONE.

Is there a potential partner for the OP in the FSU?
Yes...of course there is.
But he has his work cut out for him.
IMHO...He is better off finding an AW.

GOB

[Blues Fairy]

I can only say that out of the hundreds (no joking) of FSUW that my wife and I have come in contact with during the last 3 years of living in this Russian community (SIB), none would ever contemplate living the OP's lifestyle and I mean NONE.

That's why I'm saying there's better chance of finding such among those who want to escape from big cities, not among those who want to escape, or have escaped, from a "village". 

[viking]

I thought I had posted this already..guess not. I have a friend who lives in Vermont. Near the Canadian border. A small town and his place is kind of isolated on a lake. And his RW wife simply loves it.

[Misha]

I thought I had posted this already..guess not. I have a friend who lives in Vermont. Near the Canadian border. A small town and his place is kind of isolated on a lake. And his RW wife simply loves it.

Remote is relative as well. This small town in Vermont would only be 100-or-so miles away from Montreal, a city with over 3.5 million people 

[GQBlues]

The largest barrier is likely the lack of understanding of the differences in a rural lifestyle in the U.S. compared to their frame of reference in the FSU. That is something that crops up quite often, even with people who simply live in smaller cities let alone in completely rural environments.

yup. My wife would have died a slow agonizing death at the prospect of living in a dreadful, gawd-forsaken small California village called Santa Barbara. I didn't just described the 'village' to her, I actually drove her there and spent a weekend just so she can see it for herself...of course, almost 6 years later, she can only wish these days.  

The one thing I personally think that's on your side is the age set you're looking at. However, still be cautioned because just the idea of USA to many (not all) suggests metropolis.

In all, I tend to agree with Nat's perspective. Also ask Doll, a RW member here. IIRC, she is a convert to rural living...maybe she can sway a suggestion or two...

[GQBlues]

btw - let her know you're plot of land is highly conducive to sunflower palnts and you harvest plentiful seeds every year  

That may help.... 

[I/O]

Plenty of single 'tato growin' Buba's 'round the dachas last I saw.  :brightidea:

[ECOCKS]

I think you'll find one if you look hard enough. Write an honest profile, post it someplace with plenty of gals (I recommend EM) and then spend the time screening them to be sure they understand what you wrote and are in agreement with your future plans. You need patience and be determined to listen hard for sincerity in what the women tell you before hopping on planes to race over with a suitcase of gifts and a ring in your pocket.

Best of Luck!

[Jooky]

I agree with Blues Fairy. I know a few Moscow women that are exactly as she described. Some have already escaped the big city for more relaxed country life. (They're just a bit too young for ya, sorry).

The bonus is that a lady from Moscow, 40-50, with a decent career, likely owns some property and would have no problem coming over on a tourist visa. Makes me think of my friend's mama and her friend who came out to the US this past summer.

Sure, it's a longshot, but you only need to find one. I also recommend singles.ru. Lots of ladies there.

[Doll]

a very 9-5 structured lifestyle

What is it?

[Doll]

Also ask Doll

I am here 
One thing is to live "in the woods" like we do ( our house IS in the woods, 10 acres, can see the neighbors'  houses in winter only where there are no leaves)))) but my husband does not make money farming (neither do I), another thing is to really farm.
Yes, I was raised in a big city, lived there for 43 years, moved to this area and love it. Not sure if I want to do farming.