I don't think a stepfather should discipline stepchildren, unless the children
view him as their father.
I think that Boe's response is something that might have legs. So
I am going to reply here but also start a thread where the conversation
can go into different directions unrelated to the OP and this thread.
Conversations should just develop "organically". If they don't, then she may
not be the woman for you.
Or you might not be able to pull this off online at a distance.
I'm not going to mention names because this thread is about the topic
in the OP, but there members here at the forum who have expressed
that they have difficulties having a conversation with a woman they
don't know well.
If you are interested in a woman then you need to communicate that to her
and get her interested in moving things forward. [Warning sports analogy alert]
You have to keep the ball moving forward or else punt and move on. [Analogy Over]
Conversations should just develop "organically".
They should but they don't always happen that way. Every single guy on the
forum has fumbled up conversations with a hot woman. I have. It's rare since
I got divorced but I remember it. I usually turn to humor and get them to
laugh and then suddenly everything is organic again.
Back when I was a school boy I fumble-butted conversations with cute girls a
million times.
I don't think a stepfather should discipline stepchildren, unless the children
view him as their father.
If a woman thinks that way then she probably needs to wait until her children
are raised before she gets remarried. If you mean spanking, then I mostly agree
with you, but if the child is 0-13 then they will definitely need guidance, rules,
boundaries and discipline including punishments.
You also DEFINITELY need to discuss how things are going to work BEFORE hand
and come to an agreement. This is not the type of thing to discuss in the first
conversation (or first ten) and it doesn't have to be the same when dating and
being married.
When dating a woman I would never think of disciplining their child. First of all
you are probably never going to be alone with them where they can't do it for
you, but when you live under the same roof then you inevitably will be and
kids will test you, the rules and the boundaries. I can't stress how important
it is to
I don't think a stepfather should discipline stepchildren, unless the children
view him as their father.
Let me explain two different situations.
Smiley Girl was a very good girl 98% of the time and Angel Eyes almost zero help
from me. SG never considered my her father but she did respect me (almost always).
When Angel Eyes gave birth to Mini-me we made a rule that you had to take your
plate to the sink and rinse it off. One time Smiley Girl refused to take over her plate
so I told her I wouldn't drive her to school and that she could walk instead. (it was
winter in North Dakota) SG decided to take her plate over and rinse it off.
What that disciplining SG? Yes
SG was never a problem 99% of the time, but SG and Angel Eyes were arguing
about something in Russian and eventually SG was screaming at her mother and
after a while I said "That's enough! you can speak in a normal tone of voice"
She continued screaming at her without batting an eye, so I walked over picked
up her I-phone and put it in the trunk of my car.
SG did not require much discipline from me. He had more disagreements with her
mother (teenage girls tend to scrap more with their mothers).
A wife can't leave kids in your care if you can't discipline them. You don't send your
kids to school without the teachers having a few discipline tools to use if required.
A teacher can issue detention, extra work, a trip to the principal and other things
if a child doesn't follow the rules in their care.