"Why don't you just date an American woman?"

[Vinnvinny]

Talking of free sites ……..
 
I’m still trying to work out why on the free sites I’m way too old for the age of lady I seek, yet on the pay and play sites the young hotties miraculously are very happy to meet old codgers of my age. It’s spooky, but it gives me faith in the Lord.
 
Btw. The only food I store is milk and when it runs out (usually after 3 or 4 days) I just pop to the shop and buy some more. I recommend more people live like I do.

[kmin]

For example:
http://freepersonals.ru/
http://www.russianamericanlove.com
http://www.cherryblossoms.com
http://www.russianeuro.com
http://www.privetzapad.com
http://www.elenasmodels.com
http://russian-dating.com/
And many others.

Yes i live in Russia in Nizhny Novgorod city.

I found my love on freepersonals.ru   and now I am a WOVO and soon going to become a WOVOMO   She is really cool and in every way the best I could ever have hoped for. 

I must say free sites are the only way to go, but you must set realistic expectations (see other posts on this site).

[ML]

Quote from: ML on Yesterday at 09:42:54 PMSo the test is . . . which are free or monthly cost for men?

Just open these sites and check. 

No, it is not quite that simple.
With many such sites it takes a LOT of time to become familiar enough with the operation to really find out the costs.
Many of them go to great lengths to hide the actual costs until you have spent a LOT of time there fussing around.
I am maintaining the FSUW 101 thread as a public service.
This requires that others give me feedback as to the true situation as to how the various  sites operate.
I am not currently searching, so I am not going to take the time to determine how the various sites operate.
Everyone is encouraged to help me lengthen and refine the FSUW 101 list.

[Faux Pas]

Talking of free sites ……..
 
I’m still trying to work out why on the free sites I’m way too old for the age of lady I seek, yet on the pay and play sites the young hotties miraculously are very happy to meet old codgers of my age. It’s spooky, but it gives me faith in the Lord.
 
Btw. The only food I store is milk and when it runs out (usually after 3 or 4 days) I just pop to the shop and buy some more. I recommend more people live like I do.

Supply and demand 

[alyosha]

I am also a little curious about the term "center", however it is not a big deal.  Several organizations and some religions have encouraged Americans to store food and other items for emergencies.  The emergency does not have to be political upheaval, it can also be a natural disaster.

It is just common sense.  For those that go through life thinking "It can't happen to me",  are the first to want to mooch off those that prepared themselves.  Anyone that has seen store shelves empty out on one day, get the drift of why every family is wise to prepare in advance for emergencies.  It's not necessary to become a fanatic about it,  just use some common sense.  It not only includes food, but backup power and other essential items.

Tom Chittum, a Vietnam combat vet wrote "Civil War II" in 1995, detailing how the U.S. would break up like the Soviet Union and Yugoslavia, but on steroids.
Robert Prechter's book is the best explanation on the world wide civil unrest he sees as coming.
US will likely be hit hardest due to not having a cohesive ethnic core that Russia had.
Russia will be seeing problems to soon as oil is dropping fast in price, down 21% since February.
If a child were born to a Russian woman and an American man she could claim immigration preferrence due to being the mother of a U.S. citizen.
The problems coming will be world wide according to Prechter but I think eventually it will be much worse here in the U.S.  Too many mutually hostile racial/religious and linguistic groups.
A smart person, like some of these FSU ladies, should have at least a couple of opptions as to what continent they could legally live on.
I'm a vet so know how to evade trouble.  Only thing I'm concerned about is having a family to leave my farm and savings to.
It is 80 miles to the nearest big city so my little village should be a relatively safe place.
As I described the farm, it's a lot like Western Russia except several degrees warmer year round.  A lot of Volga Germans settled just west of me in the 1870's.  Guess it reminded them of home too.  A Russian lady should feel quite at home on the American Steppe.

[alyosha]

Im sorry, if all RW are too bad and materialistic, why you want to marry us? 
Or maybe you look for not there?
Most of you use the agencies. But usually agency have too young girls with no english, students, or woman with kids and with no good job.
So what a young girl want?  New boots, clothes and entertainments. What a woman with no good job and with kids want ? Money!
Smart and serious woman who want to find a good foreign husband - study inglish, have a PC and good internet for conversation, looking good, care for her health. And it means she have enough money for this.
But of course most of RW don't want to do anything and sits on their bums and waiting for the fine foreign prince on a white horse who will pay for all their wishes.

A Russian widow or divorcee with a child (lot's of Russian men died during the turmoil)
would do well to remarry and have another child.
Women can not help but give too much attention to their last baby.  As a result last borns in families often don't develop well socially.  I was the last born which is probably part of the reason I failed at marriage.  But now I'm experienced.   

[Vinnvinny]

Talking of free sites ……..
 
I’m still trying to work out why on the free sites I’m way too old for the age of lady I seek, yet on the pay and play sites the young hotties miraculously are very happy to meet old codgers of my age. It’s spooky, but it gives me faith in the Lord.
 
Btw. The only food I store is milk and when it runs out (usually after 3 or 4 days) I just pop to the shop and buy some more. I recommend more people live like I do.

Supply and demand 

Yep, milk is delivered every day around these parts ....... 

[alyosha]

I find your whole long post very interesting. I am especially interested in a detailed explanation of what the "Center" is    Animals are cool too, especially if you cook them right.
And yes, I am as FSUW as it gets 

A farmer 50 kilometers  east of us used to rent another 130 hectors from mother.  One year he showed us a photo with five deer hanging up.  He and his son had bagged them in one day.  Venison is a welcome addition to the locals diet during hunting season.
I also like Buffalo burgers, but haven't had the opportunity to eat one in years.
We always had fun on our grandparents farms during summers.
One thing I remember is aunt Blanche canning wild plumbs, and the time we all picked peaches near Wichita.

[Gator]

Considering he is from Kansas with some devastating tornadoes each year, I thought the "center" was the National Weather Center (Service).  In Florida we follow the National Hurricance Center when a tropical depression appears on the weather map.
 
Then again, Center could be some right wing splinter group, white supremists, etc.

[alyosha]

Considering he is from Kansas with some devastating tornadoes each year, I thought the "center" was the National Weather Center (Service).  In Florida we follow the National Hurricanes Center when a tropical depression appears on the weather map.
 
Then again, Center could be some right wing splinter group, white supremists, etc.

I'm in Florida now dealing with rain from hurricane Debbie.  Kansas tornado's as a cause of injury are over hyped.  Greensburg Kansas got wiped of the map, looked like Hiroshima, but only seven died.  We have bunkers.
A woman down the road in Hen Scratch Florida was killed last week by a tornado spin off from Debbie.  In Florida they don't have tornado bunkers or sirens.  They just take the rare casualties.

My early phraseology was meant to mean something to more mature FSU ladies, or at least to their Babushkas if asked.
I remember the Russian girls fondly from my army tour in Berlin.
One looked just like Shura from "Ballad of A Soldier"  Now you know why my handle.
I want to return to my village, "Sovnosko."  :-)

As Katerina said to her visiting soldier son: "I did not wait for your father but I will wait for you"

Wait for me by Konstantin Simonov was a poam written for his wife in 1941 that went on to be widley popular in the war.

Wait for me and I’ll return, only wait very hard.
Wait when you are filled with sorrow as you watch the yellow rain.
Wait when the wind sweeps the snowdrifts.
Wait in the sweltering heat.
Wait when others have stopped waiting, forgetting their yesterdays.
Wait even when from afar no letters come for you.
Wait even when others are tired of waiting.

Wait for me and I’ll return, but wait patiently.
Wait even when you are told that you should forget.
Wait even when my mother and son think I am no more.
And when friends sit around the fire drinking to my memory
Wait and do not hurry to drink to my memory too.

Wait for me and I’ll return, defying every death.
And let those who do not wait say that I was lucky.
They will never understand that in the midst of death
You with your waiting saved me.
Only you and I will know how I survived:
It was because you waited as no one else did.

 

[Gator]

One looked just like Shura from "Ballad of A Soldier"  Now you know why my handle.

Great film.  My university student center showed it when I was a young man, and I was mesmerized.  Oddly 35 years later I am in Moscow walking near the space museum and I see the impressive "Worker and Collective Farm Girl" statue.  This statue was the opening logo in the film, evidently the film company's trademark (such as MGM's roaring lion).

[alyosha]

I've got the DVD.  That's one place I've picked up a smattering of Russian.
In the opening scene I remember the English translation" This is the road to town.  This is the road our people take when they go to market--or when they go away to war.
This is Katerina Skortsov.  She is waitng for no one.  She is waiting for her son Alyosha who didn't come home from the war."

It was fantastic propaganda during the cold war.
Two minutes into the movie and already they had you reaching for the Kleenex.

(Our unit had a few incidents with the Red Army at the Potsdamn check point, but I got to see some beautiful Russian girls on pass in East Berlin)

[LiveFromUkraine]

A farmer 50 kilometers  east of us used to rent another 130 hectors from mother.  One year he showed us a photo with five deer hanging up.  He and his son had bagged them in one day.  Venison is a welcome addition to the locals diet during hunting season.
I also like Buffalo burgers, but haven't had the opportunity to eat one in years.
We always had fun on our grandparents farms during summers.
One thing I remember is aunt Blanche canning wild plumbs, and the time we all picked peaches near Wichita.

I met a lovely Uzbekistan woman while on some travels in India.  She said she loved eating dog meat.  She also wanted me to visit and later said she would not tell me what we would be eating until afterwards.  I can only assume it would be either dog or some sort of brains as she enjoyed laughing at the faces I made when we talked about it.

[alyosha]

I hear you're not supposed to eat "chicken" if served it in small towns.
You remember our Donner Pass party caught in the High Sierra, winter of 1848/49?
Supposedly in Russia they call it "chicken".   :-(

[Olly]

No, it is not quite that simple.
Many of them go to great lengths to hide the actual costs until you have spent a LOT of time there fussing around.

I don't know what is FSUW 101 list.
To find your THE ONE is takes a lot of time and efforts. Russians says: without efforts you can't get fish in a pond.

[pemdas1983]

Vincenzo, this explanation looks plausible to me, but as a RW in Russia I would have a hard time believing it. A woman who is unattractive but who at the same time has this requirements for a man sounds rather unrealistic to me. Such woman must be a complete 'dura', out of her mind, which are relatively rare. In your answer however, you would want to rely on some significant number of then in the US. Again, hard time believing this.

Lily,

That obese woman in Vincenzo's photo is obviously a joke as it's overly exaggerated, BUT it's not too far from the truth.   In my experience, you do often times see fat girls with skinny guys in this country.  It's just, many times, they get upset with the skinny guy is as poor as shit. 

Fat girls, like skinny ones, want to be provided for, but can't compete with the hot girls.  So, they get angry and bitter when the rich men go for the hot girls.  But, the hot American girls tend, just like the fat ones, tend to have a ridiculously huge sense of entitlement.

It's hard to imagine the typical hot, American trophy wife doing a good job of raising children or being a good wife.  Her major concern would be to spend up her husband's money on shit.  Similarly, the really obese, girl wants this as well but her dumb-ass skinny boyfriend is uneducated and can't pay the bills with his minimum wage job.


Of course, that isn't all American girls and that isn't to say that American men don't have an undeserving sense of entitlement either.  People in this country do care more than just looks and material wealth, but I would say that we generally do have a very materialistic culture here.

[alyosha]

Lily,

That obese woman in Vincenzo's photo is obviously a joke as it's overly exaggerated, BUT it's not too far from the truth.   In my experience, you do often times see fat girls with skinny guys in this country.  It's just, many times, they get upset with the skinny guy is as poor as shit. 

Fat girls, like skinny ones, want to be provided for, but can't compete with the hot girls.  So, they get angry and bitter when the rich men go for the hot girls.  But, the hot American girls tend, just like the fat ones, tend to have a ridiculously huge sense of entitlement.

It's hard to imagine the typical hot, American trophy wife doing a good job of raising children or being a good wife.  Her major concern would be to spend up her husband's money on shit.  Similarly, the really obese, girl wants this as well but her dumb-ass skinny boyfriend is uneducated and can't pay the bills with his minimum wage job.


Of course, that isn't all American girls and that isn't to say that American men don't have an undeserving sense of entitlement either.  People in this country do care more than just looks and material wealth, but I would say that we generally do have a very materialistic culture here.

Some of us may be a bit too trusting in fate.  We think that if we just act normal we will find a partner.
One of the best pop psychologist in America 20 years back was John Bradshaw.
He might call "waiting for destiny" Magical Thinking.
My mother constantly advised me that if I studied hard and got a good job I would automatically get a wife.  That turned out not to be true.  I was using what Bradshaw called "Magical Thinking."
 
 A good capitalist would say I must have set my standards for a wife too high, and
therefore the other guys were out competing me.   
So on review it seemed the one standard best to lower would be having a trim wife.
In less than two years after making that decision I was married.
Of course it would have been better to improve my personality, but that is extremely difficult.
I will say one thing that attracts women is physical courage.  Unfortunately men world wide may have to display courage soon.
  I don't think what is coming in the Middle East and else where will be as bad as WWII, but men like Robert Prechter here in America say we will have major conflict.
One of your Russian academics, I remember his name begins with a P, also says America will have internal conflicts and break apart like the Soviet Union.  Russia may not be immune, but has already gone through probably the worst since 1991.

[Lily]

Alyosha,
The majority of people do act normal in their daily life, and they do get partners this way, sooner or later. This is a normal behaviour for people, and it works for many people to a larger or lesser extent.
Men and women who look abroad however want more and better than what the local supply can offer them. Women in the FSU live in the society that tend to be very particular about many things, especially in the genders roles. They have a rather limited time of their lives in order to be deemed competitive on the dating market. If they find a way to get to the West, they inevitably will notice that their value on the dating market is different here. That's why it is in the woman's interest to get to the West if she wants to have a choice of men.
The same way works for the Western men. Life in the West is arranged the way that a number of local women are not that attractive, and men do not have enough choice, at least in comparison to what is available in the FSU in terms of gender relations. There might be many reasons for that, but let's just deal with what we have as a result. Men have to compete for attractive women in the West, the burden is on them, often not on the woman, to demonstrate his best features and to outcompete the other men.
It is not hard to notice this balance. Attractive women have an upper hand in the West, attractive men have the upper hand in the FSU. It is this simple, to put it generally.

[Boethius]

Life in the West is arranged the way that a number of local women are not that attractive, and men do not have enough choice, at least in comparison to what is available in the FSU in terms of gender relations.

I disagree.  Life in the West is arranged in a way that women do not necessarily need a man to have a fulfilling life and material comfort.  Few WW over forty-five want to remarry, and while divorce rates have, in the West, mostly decreased, they have doubled for couples over fifty.  Most of those women will date, but have no desire to marry again.  It's not attractiveness that is an issue, but the fact women have more choices.

[Daveman]

I disagree.  Life in the West is arranged in a way that women do not necessarily need a man to have a fulfilling life and material comfort.  Few WW over forty-five want to remarry, and while divorce rates have, in the West, mostly decreased, they have doubled for couples over fifty.  Most of those women will date, but have no desire to marry again.  It's not attractiveness that is an issue, but the fact women have more choices.

I counter your disagree and raise you a partial disagreeing Nuh-Uh! 


It is true that fewer people in their 40's, men or women, want to marry.  I didn't necessarily want to get married again. 


And attractiveness is an issue here.  Which is the *whole* reason many guys go to the FSU.  There are fewer very attractive women here than say, 20 years ago.   People have become fatter, AND our selection pool has become older... many do not age well.  Sure, some do, but the "attractiveness" of the peer group has decreased. So, if a man wants a very physically attractive woman he has to compete for the few who have aged well, or go younger and compete with the younger men, or go somewhere else.   

[Boethius]

There are fewer very attractive women here than say, 20 years ago.   People have become fatter, AND our selection pool has become older... many do not age well.  Sure, some do, but the "attractiveness" of the peer group has decreased. So, if a man wants a very physically attractive woman he has to compete for the few who have aged well, or go younger and compete with the younger men, or go somewhere else.   

More men than women are fat, if statistics are to be believed.  But I don't think it is weight that is at play here, I think it is that many, many women over a certain age aren't interested in marriage.

[Lily]

I disagree.  Life in the West is arranged in a way that women do not necessarily need a man to have a fulfilling life and material comfort.  Few WW over forty-five want to remarry, and while divorce rates have, in the West, mostly decreased, they have doubled for couples over fifty.  Most of those women will date, but have no desire to marry again.  It's not attractiveness that is an issue, but the fact women have more choices.

And I also do agree with that! In my post just considered the attractiveness only, and did not took into account the 'needs' part.
Your message is not just about attraction, but about the marriage that sometimes have other reasons behind it. This was not what I talked about.
 

[Daveman]

More men than women are fat, if statistics are to be believed.  But I don't think it is weight that is at play here, I think it is that many, many women over a certain age aren't interested in marriage.

It's not really about which gender has a higher obesity (or plumpness) rate, or even about the lack of desire for marriage.. it's about "Why don't you just date an American woman?" as relating to our specific group. 


It boils down to the women whom the men *can* date are viewed as undesirable -- for whatever reason(s), rational or otherwise.   (note: yes, this includes the men being culled as undesirable themselves, thus reducing the overall number they can date).

[Boethius]

 Call me skeptical about the rationalizations, Dave.

And I also do agree with that! In my post just considered the attractiveness only, and did not took into account the 'needs' part.
 Your message is not just about attraction, but about the marriage that sometimes have other reasons behind it. This was not what I talked about.
 

But it is related.  If a woman is not interested in attracting a man, she will not necessarily turn her face into what my husband calls (in reference to FSUW he sees here), "nature morte", she won't dress in four inch heels and short skirts, etc.

[Daveman]

Call me skeptical about the rationalizations, Dave.

No rationalizations in my comments.  Just an honest analysis of the situation.

But it is related.  If a woman is not interested in attracting a man, she will not necessarily turn her face into what my husband calls (in reference to FSUW he sees here), "nature morte", she won't dress in four inch heels and short skirts, etc.

and THUS she becomes less attractive to men who are looking for a date...  it makes zero difference whether by her own choice or not because the fact remains she's out of the game... move those trees out of the way  ---- "Why don't you just date an American woman?"