Wow this is awkward..

[SMS60]

Zeke, I dont know much about angecies.

But

I will throw something at you from a diffirent perspective. If you are right on the inside, right frame of mind, know your worth, ect..... these are all issues of self improvement. Your internal compass will work correctly. It does not matter where or how you search, being in the right frame of mind will detect most toxic or fake women.

Make sure your head is clear and free of fog and things will workout. You will chose the right woman.

I hope you understand where Im coming from.

[Eduard]

I agree, Zeke,
it's a good thing to take some time to be alone after a divorce and not jump into another relationship too soon. Take your time, reflect upon what happened in your marriage, assess what you need to do to improve yourself to become a more desirable partner for your future lady, try to clearly understand in your mind what qualities are important for you to see in your future soulmate. All this takes time, soul searching and being brutally honest with yourself. It is also good to educate yourself on the differences between men and women, how a woman's brain works differently from ours and they perceive things sometimes opposite of us. If you haven't already done it - check out the book called "Men are from Mars, women are from Venus".
It is important to understand that there are all kinds of women in the FSU, from Mother Theresa types to serial murderer type and everything in between. Mob agencies will have you believe thatall RW/UW are ALL these beautiful, feminine, honest and loyal creatures. The reality is quite different though and you must be careful and selective as you would be in your own country when searching for a life partner.

The good part is that there are plenty of nice, family oriented single women in Russia that would love to find their soulmate and create a happy, loving family with him. And they are easy to locate and get to know. You just need to know how to approach them, how to talk to them and catch their interest. Honestly, if I was single right now I wouldn't waste a day looking for a woman here in the US (Unless she was a RW already here). I would become active on Russian dating sites and have several good prospects in just a few weeks. It's really not as difficult as some people would have you believe!


Do what you've got to do, take as much time as you deem necessary before you start the search and then, when you are ready go for it and it can be so much fun!

[dogspot]

3 months...not very long

My advice to you (from my own experience) is to enjoy your time alone. Date locally and don't jump into any serious relationships. Have fun and do the things that you couldn't do while married. Keep reading this board and take your time and learn from others' experiences. After a couple years of enjoying your alone time and armed with some good knowledge about international dating, ask yourself if you are ready to take the plunge.

I think it's pretty safe to say that you aren't looking for or ready for a serious life-long relationship right now. For this, I would suggest refraining from joining any international dating sites at this time. But stick around. This forum is actually very interesting and entertaining.

[veritas]

It is also good to educate yourself on the differences between men and women, how a woman's brain works differently from ours and they perceive things sometimes opposite of us. If you haven't already done it - check out the book called "Men are from Mars, women are from Venus".

Excuse me, but this is HARDLY universal -- I'm more "Venusian" myself, and I know women who are more "Martian" ...

That's why I LOATHE books like that ... I believe men and women with similar PERSONALITIES actually have more
in common with each OTHER than they do with same-sex persons with DIFFERENT personalities ... I don't believe
there are any over-arching factors (other than physical/sexual) that should divide men and women into different
"categories" entirely ...

Let's not be lumping EVERYONE into familiar stereotypes here ...  It's NOT really "us" and "them" ...

Kevin

P.S.  I totally agree with dogspot -- that was my first thought, too, when I read "3 months" ....

[LanaRUS]

And I like  this book  "Men are from Mars, women are from Venus".
I think, it really help  better to understand each other...
Some heads of this book of a steel for me revelation...

[veritas]

And I like  this book  "Men are from Mars, women are from Venus".
I think, it really help  better to understand each other...
Some heads of this book of a steel for me revelation...

Well, Lana, it took a while for this to happen, but you and I have FINALLY "agreed to disagree" ...

Kevin

P.S.  Sorry, Zeke -- back to you ...

[Zeke0123]

Thanks for the sound advice everyone...and thanks to the site..admins etc for just being here...that was a sad trip with a lonely bad ending waiting to happen and I appreciate getting knocked off course .

[Zeke0123]

Zeke, I dont know much about angecies.

But

I will throw something at you from a diffirent perspective. If you are right on the inside, right frame of mind, know your worth, ect..... these are all issues of self improvement. Your internal compass will work correctly. It does not matter where or how you search, being in the right frame of mind will detect most toxic or fake women.

Make sure your head is clear and free of fog and things will workout. You will chose the right woman.

I hope you understand where Im coming from.

I do and thank you but why jump in the piranha pool when there is a nice chlorinated one right next to it

[Gator]

Zeke,

Yes, date locally. 

When you fall off a horse, you need to get back on.  Find an easy horse to ride before taking on the RW thoroughbreds who can be a bit touchy.

I would still continue to look in the FSU as well as date locally.  Just acknowledge to them that you need some time.  RW will prefer a man who will travel to them in the next few months.  The desperate RW (to be avoided) will want someone even sooner.  Yet, a few decent, sincere RW will not be deterred if you think you can travel within the next 9-12 months.  That is a lot of emails, so find women with whom you can communicate directly without paying for each email.

[Eduard]

Excuse me, but this is HARDLY universal -- I'm more "Venusian" myself, and I know women who are more "Martian" ...

That's why I LOATHE books like that ... I believe men and women with similar PERSONALITIES actually have more
in common with each OTHER than they do with same-sex persons with DIFFERENT personalities ... I don't believe
there are any over-arching factors (other than physical/sexual) that should divide men and women into different
"categories" entirely ...

Let's not be lumping EVERYONE into familiar stereotypes here ...  It's NOT really "them" and "us" ...

Kevin

Hi Kevin, I agree with you that this can not be applied to a 100% of the population and there are diversions and exceptions. But in general terms my life experience supports the idea that men and women do think, perceive and rationalize differently from each other. Failure to understand that may cause additional problems in a relationship IMO.

Here is something for people who'd like to learn Russian: разное восприятие = [rah-znoh-yeah  vah-spree-yah--tee-yeah] = different perception

[veritas]

Hi Kevin, I agree with you that this can not be applied to a 100% of the population and there are diversions and exceptions. But in general terms my life experience supports the idea that men and women do think, perceive and rationalize differently from each other. Failure to understand that may cause additional problems in a relationship IMO.

I do know what you're trying to say here, but ...

It is important to understand that there are all kinds of women in the FSU, from Mother Theresa types to serial murderer type and everything in between.

And the same is true for women everywhere, of course, and for men everywhere, of course ...

So what I'm trying to say here is that "Mother Theresa" types and "Father Terrence" types have more in common
with each OTHER than EITHER of them has with either the male OR female "serial-killer" types -- and vice versa ...

I really believe that "personality type" differences are MORE important than "male-female type" differences, and so
it's always been a pet peeve of mine when people try to make "male vs. female" into "Mars vs. Venus" and the like ...

There are instead books like "The Enneagram" that prefer to classify people by personality type rather than by gender ...

Kevin

[Eduard]

I do know what you're trying to say here, but ...

And the same is true for women everywhere, of course, and for men everywhere, of course ...

So what I'm trying to say here is that "Mother Theresa" types and "Father Terrence" types have more in common
with each OTHER than EITHER of them has with either the male OR female "serial-killer" types -- and vice versa ...

I really believe that "personality type" differences are MORE important than "male-female type" differences, and so
it's always been a pet peeve of mine when people try to make "male vs. female" into "Mars vs. Venus" and the like ...

There are instead books like "The Enneagram" that prefer to classify people by personality type rather than by gender ...

Kevin

Kevin, to use your own quote: "Excuse me, but this is HARDLY universal -- I'm more "Venusian" myself", I must admit that you, Kevin, prolly are much more in tune with the way women think and perceive things than I was several years back, when I read "man are from Mars, women are from Venus". But for me, having more of a typical psychological make up of a male, I must say that reading this book was an eye opening experience. I guess we'll just have to agree to disagree on this one 

[veritas]

Kevin, to use your own quote: "Excuse me, but this is HARDLY universal -- I'm more "Venusian" myself", I must admit that you, Kevin, prolly are much more in tune with the way women think and perceive things than I was several years back, when I read "man are from Mars, women are from Venus". But for me, having more of a typical psychological make up of a male, I must say that reading this book was an eye opening experience. I guess we'll just have to agree to disagree on this one  

Good enough for me!  

Kevin

P.S.  But, of course, I'd say that I'm more in tune with people having a similar PERSONALITY -- men OR women ...  
        I think of myself as a person, rather than as a "male" OR "female" ...

[Daveman]

Good enough for me!  

Kevin

P.S.  But, of course, I'd say that I'm more in tune with people having a similar PERSONALITY -- men OR women ...  
        I think of myself as a person, rather than as a "male" OR "female" ...

ah HA! Our very first asexual member (pun intended of course) 

[veritas]

ah HA! Our very first asexual member (pun intended of course) 

No problem, Dave! 

Kevin

[JR]

look at American men like fools and cash cows 

This should read: "Most of the world looks at America as a Cash Cow." Keep this in mind and you'll be yards ahead of most of the other fools )))

And Welcome Zeke, it sounds like you're doing some smart things, walking around with your eyes open and the radar on.

[Shadow]

This should read: "Most of the world looks at America as a Cash Cow." Keep this in mind and you'll be yards ahead of most of the other fools )))

And Welcome Zeke, it sounds like you're doing some smart things, walking around with your eyes open and the radar on.

On the contrary... you will be labeled as 'greedy' for an American.
Being Dutch it is almost impossible to be seen as more 'greedy' than the stereotype. 

[JR]

On the contrary... you will be labeled as 'greedy' for an American.
Being Dutch it is almost impossible to be seen as more 'greedy' than the stereotype. 

I didn't say "Be greedy" I said understand that a lot of the world views American's as a source of easy money. Use your regular spending habits modified to fit the local financial situations.

[Shadow]

I didn't say "Be greedy" I said understand that a lot of the world views American's as a source of easy money. Use your regular spending habits modified to fit the local financial situations.

But the other side might see the regular spending habits as greedy, knowing that Americans are famous for throwing around cash. 

[Zeke0123]

I probably need to check that book out...I'm and "Alpha" type in just about all of my relations work women etc...I'm certainly not a dick but I tend to take control of situations pretty early..maybe thats not always good. 

[JR]

Never be a marshmellow around a woman )))

[MatryoshkaMan]

I completely, wholeheartedly recommend www.singles.ru. On the left side there is an English tab. Click it and you are off to the races on a course with perhaps 20million russian-speaking women. Pay the $10 for the premium membership so you can access the "advanced" search - reason being that you can search by a lot more parameters, including language. Check "UK English" (as opposed to US English with no one checks off) and of course by detailed city/region, etc. I almost guarantee you within a week you will be happily chatting away with all sorts of interesting women, some of which you can (if you want) be webchatting with via Skype within a week. When I threw myself back into the ring recently I was thinking about re-joining Elenas but decided to focus on singles.ru. It paid off in spades and I couldn't be more happier with the result. You WILL have fun, you WILL meet women who are sincerely interested in you and you WILL quickly cull out the scammers. These are real women, the kind you see walking on the streets and in the stores all over the FSU on a daily basis. Singles.ru membership is like having your own key cut to a world of beautiful, interesting and eligible women. Go get em!

[Velena]

Ah! JR, you are back, I missed you......you are naughty boy, what are you up to these days?
I almost forgot what I was going to write about, I ve got so excited reading you, JR, you r naughty naughty boy.
Anyway, Ladies & Gentelmen, I think I need an advice or to be precise I would like to listen to your opinions. I am not sure if it is a correct subject for my post, but......here we go....
After several months of hard search for love on the various dating sites, it finally happened. I met Him and the attraction was immediate and immense, the blood was rushing in to our heads and it felt just so great! We met 3 times so far during last 2 weeks and we are keeping in touch by txt, phone, email an so on. Everything seems to be perfect, but there is one thing that I am worried about. It maybe sounds petty, but the bloke doesn't have a pot to piss in, he is a forklift driver and still is living with his mum (he is 38 y.o). We had a really good time together, but before we seal our connection with the passionate act of love I want to make a desision about the possibility of our potential future together. I am very ambitious person with the demand for certain life style. I am very confused 

[Boethius]

Why should a man provide your lifestyle?  Can't you provide your own lifestyle?  It sounds as if he is not ambitious, but if you're ambitious, does it matter?   I would be more concerned  with his character than anything else.

[Velena]

He doesn't have to provided it. I have a very good career and I am earning twice as much as he does. The life style we are living now is very different, our desires and expectations from life are different. I wonder if it can become a problem in a longterm.
P.S. I am Russian, but livung and working in UK. He is English.