controversy? get her drunk

[zengeek]

OK OK I am a newbie.  I am totally inexperienced and newbie in FSU.  It is a totally new world for me, nothing I have ever seen in my life.  But a short trip to FSU got my eyes completely open.  Never experienced anything like this in my short life.

Thought I met "the one" less than 24 hours arriving in Ukraine.  She has the sunniest smile in the whole world.  I have never seen anything like her smile.  Lovely and sincere lady.

I asked her to go out with me on a Saturday night club dancing.  Apparently, in this part of the world, asking a lady to go out to dance in club is truly normal.  I am totally surprised by that.

Long story short, to get her drunk is not difficult at all.  In this part of the world, people like to party.

The added bonus is, you see her true self.

Nothing is wrong with her.  She has beautiful personality.  Very open-minded.  If anything is wrong, it is me, I am an easily jealous man.  She loves to dance, with me, with any man.  She is too young, she loves to enjoy life.  I do not think she is ready for marriage.

I was sad, for maybe 2 hours. Then, life goes on.  I wish her all the best.     I believe with every ounce of my heart she is sincere.  Just too young, not ready for serious relationship.

Anyway, my insight is:  get her drunk. She shows her true self.

Controversy? Please, let the bashing and flaming begin
-Z

[BillyB]

Anyway, my insight is:  get her drunk. She shows her true self.

What if her true self doesn't want to get drunk? That is a good thing.

Please, let the bashing and flaming begin
-Z

Thank you for the invitation. I've been waiting a long time to open a nearly expired can of whup azz on someone. These things cost money!


What happened to you happens to most guys. You come home empty handed. One thing you did wrong is fall in love too fast thinking she's the one within 24 hrs of meeting but no worries, you figured her out later. One day face time is not enough to know a person. If you decide to find another FSU woman, spend more time on the phone and figure her out before visiting. You want a marriage material girl so do your homework first before visiting. Also, on the phone, you want to gauge a woman's interest in you. A woman may be wife material but she may not be interested in being your wife.

[Shadow]

You take a young girl that you barely know to a club for dancing and are offended if she dances with other men.

I do not know your history, but this jealousy is a problem if you like to go out and party. Learn to trust, or learn that party gorls are not for you.

[Turboguy]

First off jealousy is a big problem and a relationship killer.  Usually it is in part caused by a lack of self confidence so that may improve over time but you should work on it.
The best solution would be to find a gal who hates to party and one that is very fat and ugly so few men will want to dance with her and you won't worry about losing her.  Most fat ugly girls work harder to be nice people and to make their man happy anyway because they have had to compensate for less natural appeal.
The guy who wrote the Calipso song long ago that went "Make an ugly girl your wife and you will be happy for the rest of your life" knew what he was talking about.
 
 

[GoodOlBoy]

Most fat ugly girls work harder to be nice people and to make their man happy anyway because they have had to compensate for less natural appeal.

In another thread..........
 

...... I thought it was crude, rude and tasteless.

GOB

[mies]

OK OK I am a newbie.  I am totally inexperienced and newbie in FSU.  It is a totally new world for me, nothing I have ever seen in my life.  But a short trip to FSU got my eyes completely open.  Never experienced anything like this in my short life.

Thought I met "the one" less than 24 hours arriving in Ukraine.  She has the sunniest smile in the whole world.  I have never seen anything like her smile.  Lovely and sincere lady.

I asked her to go out with me on a Saturday night club dancing.  Apparently, in this part of the world, asking a lady to go out to dance in club is truly normal.  I am totally surprised by that.

Long story short, to get her drunk is not difficult at all.  In this part of the world, people like to party.

The added bonus is, you see her true self.

Nothing is wrong with her.  She has beautiful personality.  Very open-minded.  If anything is wrong, it is me, I am an easily jealous man.  She loves to dance, with me, with any man.  She is too young, she loves to enjoy life.  I do not think she is ready for marriage.

I was sad, for maybe 2 hours. Then, life goes on.  I wish her all the best.     I believe with every ounce of my heart she is sincere.  Just too young, not ready for serious relationship.

Anyway, my insight is:  get her drunk. She shows her true self.

Controversy? Please, let the bashing and flaming begin
-Z

I have even better tip for you: give her E, and she will show her true self and will tell you all her secrets. 

There was a video  on youtube several years ago: young female TV news host was spotted at the premiere of international film festival in Kiev cinema. She was interviewed, apparently at that moment she was high on E. So when asked "how much did you enjoy the movie?"  she responded "do you mean whether it got me excited? One moment, let me check." got into her pants, and answered "yeah, I think it did. I am wet."
 
As for drinking part - I disagree. I, for example, never drank up until I was 22-24, at all. So if someone were insisting on my drinking, I'd drop the guy like a hot potato. Now I do drink, but responsibly, and never get too drunk. If someone tried to get me drunk - I'd drop the guy like a hot potato. Also, white wine makes me fall asleep soon after the intake. Other types of alcohol have different effects. I am not sure you'd get anything about my personality by evaluating my tipsy condition. And finally, do try to remember: Just because she is drunk and cannot say "no", doesn't mean she said "yes". And technically, having sex with very drunk woman is a borderline rape. Getting woman drunk to get her agree for sex is technically a soft version of rape.

[TheTraveler]

i believe that you see someone's true self when they are drinking.

so yes, zen, i agree.

[zengeek]

>> offended if she dances with other men.

Just to clarify a little bit. She was dancing with the same man, for extended periods of time, and they were having a very fun time with quite intimate moves.  In short, she ignored me for a very long time (an hour maybe??). Is that common thing to do in FSU culture?

Also, if I was on a date with someone, and I want to dance with someone else, I would at least acknowledge to my date or inform my date of such decisions?  In this case she simply disappeared into the dance floor not to be found.  I was able to find her on the dance floor only later, after looking around for a bit...  Perhaps this small acknowledgement gesture is not common in this part of the world?

But still, I definitely agree that jealousy is a big problem for me personally.  I should have found another girl to dance with when she was ignoring me    And perhaps it is common for girls in this part of the world to do what I mentioned above?  perhaps what she did as mentioned above means absolutely nothing?

This forum and you guys are amazing!  I am taking notes of some of your excellent comments.

-Z
PS. I think I am developing the pro-dater filter reasonably well so far.  I still get hit every now and then though but so far the damage has not been too bad.  money damage is not my big concern, time lost to such pro-daters is a bigger concern for me.

[Shadow]

I do not think you did the wrong thing by deciding she is not the one for you. However falling in love and considering her as 'the one' was a mistake.

Next time you want to see how a girl reacts when dringking you should get an invitation of her to have some shaslick with friends. Not only is it less likely she will bail out, but also it will give you a better perspective of how she acts around people who know her. But be careful.... they will be watching how you act when drunk as well....

[zengeek]

Hi Mies:

If someone tried to get me drunk ...

Just to clarify, every drink she had, she asked me to buy for her. (Boy, she can drink!)  So I was not trying to get her drunk, and would not deliberately or maliciously try to do so.

Just because she is drunk and cannot say "no", doesn't mean she said "yes".

That's a very interesting point. I did not think of it from that prospective...

Thanks for all your comments Mies.  It is very helpful to see a woman's point of view.

Hi Shadow:

Getting her friends is an excellent idea.  I actually invited her to bring friends when we went to club.  However, she decided to come alone.

It's not clear whether her decision of coming alone meant anything or not <-- I am starting to over-analyze, I think

-Z

[mendeleyev]

It sounds as if you both were too young to be considering marriage.

In your home country, would you consider marriage just 24 hours after meeting?

[rockford75]

What if her true self doesn't want to get drunk? That is a good thing.



Thank you for the invitation. I've been waiting a long time to open a nearly expired can of whup azz on someone. These things cost money!


What happened to you happens to most guys. You come home empty handed. One thing you did wrong is fall in love too fast thinking she's the one within 24 hrs of meeting but no worries, you figured her out later. One day face time is not enough to know a person. If you decide to find another FSU woman, spend more time on the phone and figure her out before visiting. You want a marriage material girl so do your homework first before visiting. Also, on the phone, you want to gauge a woman's interest in you. A woman may be wife material but she may not be interested in being your wife.

      I agree with you Bill. FSU is very pricey to fly to. So why not get to know the lady first then decide if she is worth the time and money to visit.

[Manny]

>> offended if she dances with other men.

Just to clarify a little bit. She was dancing with the same man, for extended periods of time, and they were having a very fun time with quite intimate moves.  In short, she ignored me for a very long time (an hour maybe??). Is that common thing to do in FSU culture?

That isn't cultural. Women who are just not that into you will do that anywhere. Its simple: To her, that guy was more interesting than you. That's all.

[Boethius]

Alcohol reduces inhibitions.  It also stops certain receptors in the brain.  There has been a great deal of research which would negate your "theory" that one sees the true person when drunk.  There is also research going back over a half century, which indicates that how people behave when drunk is affected by their cultural environment.

[TomT]

This is where you went wrong:

She has the sunniest smile in the whole world.  I have never seen anything like her smile.  Lovely and sincere lady.

[ML]

  Most fat ugly girls work harder to be nice people and to make their man happy anyway because they have had to compensate for less natural appeal.

I would have to disagree with this.

I am very allergic to overweight people, so have never been with such a gal myself but . . . I have seen a few couples where the woman was very overweight and not that good looking.

In these cases the women were, without exception, pure bitches to  their husbands.

Also in my dating of FSU gals, I have ended up with a few who were not very good looking at all (although not fat).  They invariably mentioned to me how attractive they were, and were living in a pure fantasy world with respect to their prospects of finding a man.

[Boethius]

Just because she is drunk and cannot say "no", doesn't mean she said "yes". And technically, having sex with very drunk woman is a borderline rape. Getting woman drunk to get her agree for sex is technically a soft version of rape.

In Canada, and in some U.S. states, it is, in fact, legally rape because there was no ability for the woman to give "informed consent".  The football players in Steubbenville, Ohio, were recently convicted of rape in such circumstances.

[GQBlues]

...And technically, having sex with very drunk woman is a borderline rape. Getting woman drunk to get her agree for sex is technically a soft version of rape.

WOW mies-

That's my motto. I used to always say this on the other board. I would never, ever, regardless how beautiful a woman is; have sex with her while she's intoxicated or drugged. So yes, I agree with you completely.

To the OP...if you're the jealous type, marry an ugly woman and move to Bakersfield.

[zengeek]

Thanks GQBlues. Why Bakersfield specifilcally? lol

[knighta]

The guy who wrote the Calipso song long ago that went "Make an ugly girl your wife and you will be happy for the rest of your life" knew what he was talking about.

This? 

[Kokopelli]

This? 

Yep. One of my favorites. 

[Kokopelli]

OK OK I am a newbie.  I am totally inexperienced and newbie in FSU.  It is a totally new world for me, nothing I have ever seen in my life.  But a short trip to FSU got my eyes completely open.  Never experienced anything like this in my short life.

Thought I met "the one" less than 24 hours arriving in Ukraine.  She has the sunniest smile in the whole world.  I have never seen anything like her smile.  Lovely and sincere lady.

I asked her to go out with me on a Saturday night club dancing.  Apparently, in this part of the world, asking a lady to go out to dance in club is truly normal.  I am totally surprised by that.

Long story short, to get her drunk is not difficult at all.  In this part of the world, people like to party.

The added bonus is, you see her true self.

Nothing is wrong with her.  She has beautiful personality.  Very open-minded.  If anything is wrong, it is me, I am an easily jealous man.  She loves to dance, with me, with any man.  She is too young, she loves to enjoy life.  I do not think she is ready for marriage.

I was sad, for maybe 2 hours. Then, life goes on.  I wish her all the best.     I believe with every ounce of my heart she is sincere.  Just too young, not ready for serious relationship.

Anyway, my insight is:  get her drunk. She shows her true self.

Controversy? Please, let the bashing and flaming begin
-Z

Did you ask her out or ask her to meet you there?
I am old and old fashioned but I always thought a date was going somewhere where you can talk and get to know each other.
If she thought it was casual that could be one reason she danced with someone else. Either way, that is who she was interested in at that time.
She may just enjoy dancing and is not really interested in a serious relationship.

How Does It Affect the Body?
Alcohol is a depressant, which means it slows the function of the central nervous system. Alcohol actually blocks some of the messages trying to get to the brain. This alters a person's perceptions, emotions, movement, vision, and hearing.

In very small amounts, alcohol can help a person feel more relaxed or less anxious. More alcohol causes greater changes in the brain, resulting in intoxication. People who have overused alcohol may stagger, lose their coordination, and slur their speech. They will probably be confused and disoriented. Depending on the person, intoxication can make someone very friendly and talkative or very aggressive and angry. Reaction times are slowed dramatically — which is why people are told not to drink and drive. People who are intoxicated may think they're moving properly when they're not. They may act totally out of character.
Some people get so drunk they do not remember anything they said or did.

[mies]

Just to clarify a little bit. She was dancing with the same man, for extended periods of time, and they were having a very fun time with quite intimate moves.  In short, she ignored me for a very long time (an hour maybe??). Is that common thing to do in FSU culture?

It all depends.
1) if this is a typical night club - the person with whom you are dancing is basically the person at whom you are looking, or who has some minimal physical contact with you. I'd say that unwritten club etiquette tells that making your date/friend/boyfriend look at your back for long period of time is rude. But you also don't have to be "tied" to the person and preserve eye contact all the time.
2) what do you mean by "intimate moves"
This: http://photo.topdj.ua/61318/1375895/ or this: http://photo.topdj.ua/24733/306969/ - are quite intimate
whereas this (or most of other moves that don't involve physical contact): http://photo.topdj.ua/58244/1252868/ or this: http://photo.topdj.ua/21524/258290/#258291   - are not intimate.
3) it also matters who disappeared first. Let's say, if you went to the restroom, and  waited there in a line, and was back in  10-15 minutes, and the girl was already dancing with someone else  - then chances are the other guy approached her and started dancing with her. And she had no idea you were already back and waiting for her. If this happens - you just approach the girl, and hug her from the back or from the side, or kiss her on the cheek. This way the girl will know you are back, and the guy will know that she is with someone.
4) if she was already drunk, she possibly didn't notice how much time has passed while she was dancing with someone else. Drunk people usually have very vague concept of time, and what looks for them as "5 minutes" may be an hour (or several hours) in real time (and for you, if you are relatively sober).

[Gator]

I still am wondering why someone would want to get his RW date drunk, especially in the initial stages of getting to know each other.   
 
If my date were drunk, in all probability I would be drunk as well unless she had a drinking problem.  Two drunks make for some laughs, but little else.  And in another thread we have the story of a couple who partied too much and are now divorcing.   

[GQBlues]

Thanks GQBlues. Why Bakersfield specifilcally? lol

It was just a throw-back comedy skit from the past. There was a time where a popular consensus pegged Bakersfield as a dreadful largely anti-social region in California where predominant in-breeding occurs.
 
That's not completely true     It's not the end of the world - but you can see it from there.