Novosibirsk Doesn't Believe in Tears: TwoBit's Sixteen Days In Novosibirsk

[Blues Fairy]

However, he has a really cool date and...... virtual SILENCE! 

Just keeping fingers crossed for the poor Evgenia, hoping she doesn't end up getting burnt by TBB's devilish cool.  

[TwoBitBandit]

Day 12: Wednesday, July 7

The plan for today is to meet Olia at 2 pm and Galina at 6 pm.  The original plan was to meet Galina at 8, but she sent me a text message and wanted to reschedule for 6.  I think this is actually in my favor, since I can spend more time with her if I don’t decide to schedule another date.  I spent the morning reading news and at around noon I start chatting up some other the other girls on my list by voice and SMS but I don’t fill any later slots on today’s schedule.  I think it’s not necessarily a bad thing since today’s 6 pm date is one of my favorites, I’m looking forward to meeting her.

I leave the flat at around 1:45 with one of my linen shirts on since it’s day and it is still slightly warm.  Olia is 5’9”, so I don the elevator shoes.  I’ve never worn them much before this trip, but I’m kind of enjoying them.  They’re fun to wear.  At 1:55 Olia calls me.  Russian girls are usually fashionably late but occasionally one bucks the trend.  I’ve been writing to her for awhile and chatted with her a bunch on skype.  She’s a dancer and performer in the theater.  I’m not usually a great match for such artistic types (because they’re often just plain crazy) but I didn’t want to pass up the chance to meet a lean, tall graceful dancer.

As soon as I see her I realize that I’ve severely misjudged somewhere.  She’s about 20 or 30 pounds heavier than I judged her by her photos.  Looking at her face I’d put her age at about ten years older than the 27 she claimed on her profile.  Her skin condition isn’t that great.  Nevertheless, it’s a day date during the week: so in my mind it’s a “free date” which is why I decided to meet her.  [When I got home I took a look at her profile to see how I managed to misjudge it, but she had taken down all the pictures.]  I remember looking at her photos and thinking that she looked like a tall, lean, lightly-muscled dancer, so I don’t how I misjudged it.  My attitude is when this happens is to just finish the date and be polite.  It’s always possible to just simply enjoy the company of the person in front of you without having it have to “go somewhere.”  You never know what you might learn.

As we’re walking down to the river she points out various buildings and describes their history.  She points out a museum I didn’t know about, I’ll have to check that out later.  As we’re passing certain fountains, there are tons of kids and young adults throwing and shooting water at each other.  Olia explains that today is the day of Saint Ivan Kupala (sp?), which apparently means that spraying water at your fellow citizens is the thing to do.  There’s occasionally cars filled with teenagers armed with squirt guns mowing down pedestrians, and pedestrians with squirt guns holding their own.  There’s young teenagers and older children in the fountains drenching one another.  Quite a bit of the warfare seems to be young guys lightly spraying attractive girls as they walk by. 

We decide to go on the river cruise, which sounds like fun since I haven’t done it yet.  She wants to walk, so we walk.  It’s about 40 minutes or so to walk to the river embankment and then down the embankment to the boat launch.  The conversation is pleasant enough: we talk about the normal stuff: life in our respective countries, work, jobs, culture, languages.  She speaks a tiny bit of English.  I always try to get the girls to talk in English if they know a little because it usually makes them laugh a little.  She knows perhaps two or three hundred words.

She’s flirting with me a lot.  She’s clearly interested. There is a type of tree here (is it birch?) that is shedding this white fuzzy crap like crazy and it gets on your clothes.  Olia keeps picking it off of me.  She poked me in the stomach one time when I was stretching.  And touches me on the upper arm when we talk.  I respond a little bit but she keeps escalating it.

Our timing for the boat cruise is excellent: we buy our tickets and get on the boat about five minutes before it leaves.  The ride is for one hour.  As soon as we leave they turn on this annoying music which makes it hard to talk.  I can communicate really well (even about difficult concepts) if the environment is quiet, but if it noisy I can’t understand anything.  If I was excited about this date I’d be annoyed, but I didn’t really want to talk to Olia much more anyways.  I enjoy the time looking at the shoreline and all the buildings and what people are doing on the boat.  Olia says she wants to go get some drinks for us and I tell her I’d like water and give her a hundred-rouble note.

The boat ride is uneventful but it starts to get cold… now I’m wishing I’d brought a warmer shirt.  Olia is definitely cold, so we go downstairs to an indoor cabin to get off the windy deck.  It’s just as noisy there and too difficult to have any meaningful conversation.  After the hour-long boat ride is over, we walk to the metro station and ride it back to Lenin square.  After that, we go for coffee.  I find Olia’s company pleasant even though I have no attraction, so I agree.  She orders a salad and a coffee drink, and I ordered a slice of cheesecake and a coffee.  I start telling her some stories about crazy stuff I’ve done.  This is the quietest place we’ve been together so far so it’s much easier for us to understand one another.

After an hour or so we leave.  I only have about half an hour until my next date, so I need to find a way to lose Olia.  (You don’t ever want your present date to run into your next date.  It’s like mixing matter and antimatter.  I did it once on a trip and it was not good.  Don’t do it!  Don’t cross the beams!)  I tell Olia I need to get back to my flat by six.  She volunteers to accompany me since my flat is on the way to her flat.  (Not good.)  I finally manage to break off from her by insisting I need to go a certain way which isn’t exactly the right way.  She tells me that the right way is the way she’s going, but I insist that my way is faster and I’m getting late.  She gets close to me and starts looking into my eyes.  She wants the kiss.  I give it to her and send her on her way.  It was pleasant enough to spend time with Olia but I’m not going to call her.  So it goes.

I was hoping to get back early and change clothes but there’s not really time, so I head to Lenin Square and get there five minutes early.  Galina is about five minutes late.  I spot her instantly from across the square.  As she approaches me she’s clearly a little bit nervous: her pace speeds up a little and she strokes her hair four or five times between the time I spot her and the time she’s in front of me.  She’s about 5’5” with light brown hair that’s been colored blonde and greenish eyes.  This girl is pretty cute but she’s not hot enough to have the “I’m so beautiful” complex.  We have good chemistry right from the start.  We start walking.  I suggest that we go to the central park and walk around for awhile, then we’ll go to dinner somewhere.

She’s a little bit shy and quiet but fun enough to be around. She works as a lawyer doing some kind of paper-pushing of legal documents for a large company.  The term “lawyer” isn’t quite the high-status profession it is in America: it seems that all you need to do it is an appropriate four-year law degree and some training.  It’s not like America where law is a post-graduate degree.  She keeps playing with her hair as we walk.  This girl and I understand each other particularly well: when I can’t think of the word I need she seems to always figure it out.  After we spend twenty or thirty minutes walking around in the park and circle it a couple of times, I bring up the topic of food and she suggests a sushi place.  We leave the park and stop walking there.  There’s still full-on aqua warfare going on in the streets.  We get to the restaurant after ten minutes are so.  It’s a Planeta Sushi.

And that’s how Jooky’s prediction from earlier in the trip report came to be true.

Hey TwoBit! [...] 20 bucks that you get dragged to a Planeta Sushi at least once.

The table we decide to sit at has four spaces: a two-person bench on one side along a wall and two chairs on the other side.  I start to move across from her but she suggests I come and sit next to her, which of course I don’t refuse.  We both order some rolls and I suggest we get a couple of glasses of wine and she agrees.  We have a great conversation and she’s really interested in what I’m saying and her body language is screaming that she likes me: she’s turned toward me, leg crossed over toward me, arms back and chest thrust forward, playing with her hair, breaking eye contact by looking down, etc.  We get our wine and I propose the first toast to our meeting (за нашу встречу).

Toasts in Russian are done with the proposition за and a direct object in the accusative case.  The first toast is open and can be about anything.  The second toast is almost always for parents.  (за родителей)  The third toast is for love.  (за любовь)  On that toast only you are supposed to use your left hand and you don’t clink the glasses.  The fourth and later toasts are open.  In a mixed group a man is supposed to do most or all of the toasting, but when I’m out with girls I normally do the first one and then get them to do the even numbered ones starting with the fourth.  (Now that I’ve said that, Blues Fairy or Aloe is going to tell me that I have it all wrong…)

We have some light touching and I kiss her.  Soon after that our sushi arrives and we start to eat a little.  We trade some pieces of sushi.  Galina is a little shy and modest, but I think that she has some inner confidence that just needs time to expose itself.  I like some things about her: how she likes to travel, her hobbies.  The girls who are just getting the crap kicked out of them by life in Russia and take it worry me: how in the world is she going to find the confidence to flourish if she moves to America?  I’m not looking for the testosterone-infused agro lawyer girls that I meet in Silicon Valley but I want to find a girl that has at least something going for her.  It’s going well so I order a couple more glasses of wine.  Before the end of the date I kiss her again.  At one point she gets up to go to the restroom and I notice she’s probably carrying an extra eight pounds or so which has settled in the caboose but it’s not bad.
 
After she gets back I get the check.  After we finish our wine I suggest we go somewhere else for a little while before we end the date.  (I think it keeps the date fun, fresh and interesting to change the venue every couple of hours on a long date.)  She leads us to a Traveler’s Coffee shop near Lenin Square that’s about a fifteen-minute walk, and we hold hands most of the way.  This chain is all over the place and I’ve been in four or five of them so far this trip.  It’s like the Starbucks of Novosibirsk.  The warfare is still going on, but the crowd still doing it is a little older: it’s mostly guys in their late teens.  It’s funny to watch cars of guys spraying each other with high-powered squirt guns as they pass one other on the streets.  Galina is protected since she’s walking with a man but single girls are legal cannon fodder.  When we get to the café she orders a mocha and I get coffee.  We have occasional physical contact and I get a couple of kisses in.  We’re starting to run out of things to say and I’ve already told a lot of my standard stories about crazy things that I’ve done, so I use a couple of canned routines I know.  Galina is still a little bit shy but she’s definitely into me.  After we’re done we walk toward the square.  I offer to pay her taxi but she lives close and just wants to walk.  It’s only about 10:15 and it’s still light in Novosibirsk.  At the point where we split off we embrace and kiss a few times, then I break it off and tell her if she wants more she’ll have to come and meet me again.  She smiles and waves as I descend down into the pedestrian underpass and out of sight.  Obviously, this has been one of my better dates.

Galina is leaving this weekend on a trip to Turkey and she won’t find out exactly what day until tomorrow.  Hopefully I can see her again on Friday or Saturday.

I only have about four more A-list girls to meet after today.

[brad5959]

you might not want to hear it from me, but it's nice to see you making some progress!

[TwoBitBandit]

The only question I have at the end of Day 10 is how you feel about the list which was built before arriving.

Looking back at all the "nothing there" and "so it goes" sort of comments, can you think of anything you wish you had or had not done in assembling the dance card of gals you THOUGHT you would be attracted to when meeting?  What lessons or thoughts are twirling in your head amidst your fatigue?

It's a great question, and one that I've been thinking about lately.

One of my strategies was to be vague about when I'm coming to Novosibirsk and say I'll get in touch when I arrive.  Then, I can pull them out as my schedule clears up.  I message like, "I just arrived in town, can I see you in the next couple of days" goes over well.

On my last trip to Nizhny Novgorod I had fewer prospects and gave them more specific dates about when I could meet them, which sort of locked me down.  If I had reserved two days for a girl and the date lasted 40 minutes, I had a lot of downtime.  I decided to try a new strategy to try to have less downtime.

I think that I probably overdid it, and now I'm on the side of juggling too many girls at once.  And some of the girls I met I knew I probably wouldn't match, like my date with Anastassia the English teacher a few days ago or Natasha from last week.

Yet, I had a great date with Evgenia and she was on my B list, and I've had other experiences where the girl doesn't seem that interesting and you meet her and you're like "wow."  So, it's hard to know how to balance "cast a wide net" with "focus on your favorites."

One of my take-aways from doing this more is that every date really does have a cost to it.  On my first VM trip, I was excited about how many girls you can line up.  But the problem is how to you follow up with them and really get to know them without rubbing it in their face that there are other prospects.  I used to fill up my calendar with all kinds of dates just because I could. I quickly learned about why not to do that. 

However, when you're writing through an agency the agency itself impedes your ability to directly qualify the girl since they try to insert themselves into the loop to generate a revenue stream (hence the commandment about getting the agency out of the loop). So, back when I was using agencies I'd meet lots of girls just because writing them through the agency was such a PITA.  Since I was writing directly this time I had lots of opportunity to qualify them directly.  (Talking to them on the phone, looking at the tone and content of what they write, is their grammar good, do they have kids, do they smoke, etc.)  And I did qualify them: I probably received 200 responses to my message campaign but obviously I haven't met with nearly that number.

I would say that my biggest mistake was not to pay enough attention to the physical appearance of a girl while writing.  I'm a sucker for intelligent girls that can write well and express their ideas well.  Since arriving, I've dropped several girls because I just didn't think they were hot enough: I probably could have done that at home if I'd asked for pictures.  I dropped one for smoking: I don't know how I would have caught that since she lied on her profile.  I dropped Elena just because she was too introverted and there just wasn't enough of a draw.  I decided not to date Rimma again because she was so short.  Her height was on her profile so I messed up.  I didn't really consider height too important..but c'mon, no girls under five feet high!

When you're writing hundreds of girls it's possible to miss details.  I spent an enormous about of time writing and keeping track of girls.  It was just crazy trying to write to such a huge number of girls and keep them all straight.

I've done a better job than on some previous trips.  One one trip I burned two nights on a girl before I found out that she was a single mother.  Doh!  Smoking is a showstopper for me, and the only time it got past me is when the girl lied.

I think my take aways are:
1) Date fewer girls of higher quality, but not as few as I did on my last trip
2) Look at their height and be sure you find it out if it's not on the profile
3) Try harder to get more pictures

I want to add "talk on the phone more" but it really wasn't possible with the sheer quantity of girls I wrote with.  And I hate talking on the phone in Russian: I don't quite have the advanced language skills to pull it off with the confidence and comprehension needed to make it really useful.

TBB, just post something about that train wreck date.. we need the action! 

Let me summarize it this way: my strategy of being vague about when I'm coming to Novosibirsk and then saying, "I'm here, let's meet" has worked pretty well.  But once you say that, you need to meet the girl within two (max three) days.  If you try to juggle her for a week you're going to get an earful about it.  Just sayin'.
    

[I/O]

If you try to juggle her for a week you're going to get an earful arse chewin'

[TwoBitBandit]

Hey I/O, that's actually closer to the truth.  I got what I deserved in this particular case.  I almost sensed it coming from the tone of her SMS messages and our conversation on the phone.  I remember thinking, "she not that happy with me, I'm going to have to really be charming to have this work out well."  I had the right idea about what was going to come at me but I had no idea of the magnitude.

No worries, all you can do is learn from your mistakes and do better next time.

[ML]

TBB, most of the dating sites have search/screens where you can put in height and weight.  That would keep you from ending up with gals who are shorter than you wish.  The weight one is sort of hit and miss as most gals will lie about their weight; not too often about their height.

Your last story about Galina hit quite a chord for me.  I also met a Galina who was somewhat shy at first.  However, after a short while, she turned out to be one of the greatest kissers ever and then an extremely passionate lover.  So wish you luck with another Galina!!  To score some points; call her Galochka.

I was told that Galina is a pure Ukrainian name.  So ask her if her ancestors were Kulaks (well to do farmers) who were shipped to Siberia by Stalin in the 1930s.

Unfortunate that Galina  is leaving on a trip.

As a side note: This 'travel - vacation' thingy of FSU people is enough to drive one crazy.  

For one, they often don't have a 'pot to pee in,' yet somehow they come up with the money for these vacations.  [Except if the guy suggests a trip; then they have no money at all and can only go if the man pays for everything.]

For two, many of them, particularly the older ones, know they have as much chance of getting a man as being hit by lightning.  But nevertheless, they will continue with their plans to be gone for a substantial amount of the time a visiting  man will be in their city.

Sure, sure I know they can't put their life on total hold on the off chance that something will work out; but it still seems a little weird to me.

[SMS60]

Sure, sure I know they can't put their life on total hold on the off chance that something will work out; but it still seems a little weird to me.

Ahh yes, good thought with a very simple answer. If a women thinks you are the "catch" or "prize" she will adjust her schedule to accomodate you. I you are the "grand prize" nothing will stand between you and her. Maybe even ask you to join her. If they are interested you will know. If you are a "dud" they will find excuses not to meet you anymore.

[Lily]

I was told that Galina is a pure Ukrainian name.  So ask her if her ancestors were Kulaks (well to do farmers) who were shipped to Siberia by Stalin in the 1930s.
 

Galina is a Russian name; and Ukrainian or Polish version would be Halina.

I would discourage anyone to use the term 'Kulaks', because this is a negative word that Bolsheviks invented for the well to do farmers. Russians may use the word among themselves, but this is not the word that polite foreigners would be advised to use.

Same thing with the exile issue. I don't think that Siberian people enjoy the topic of their ancestors exiled to Siberia. No one finds pleasure of being humiliated and deprived.

[Blues Fairy]

Galina is a Russian name;
I would discourage anyone to use the term 'Kulaks'
Same thing with the exile issue.

Agree that Galina is a Russian name.  But there is nothing humiliating about having been exiled during Stalin's time; and nothing offensive about the term Kulak unless you're a devout Communist invested in class warfare.

[Lily]

Wouldn't you however agree that the term "Kulak' is generally negative towards Russian farmers?

[SANDRO43]

Galina is a Russian name

That sounds VERY odd to Italian ears, since for us a gallina is:

[Blues Fairy]

Wouldn't you however agree that the term "Kulak' is generally negative towards Russian farmers?

It was negative when being a well-to-do farmer was considered shameful.  In the modern usage, the word carries neither negative nor positive connotation as it is clearly a historical term.  Same as враг народа ("people's enemy") - you'll hardly offend anyone by asking about their parents/grandparents having been repressed as such.

[Vaughn]

And I hate talking on the phone in Russian: I don't quite have the advanced language skills to pull it off with the confidence and comprehension needed to make it really useful.

I didn't find the need for truly advanced skills to make it useful for myself - I'd ask a few key questions, then shut my mouth. And I was
off to the races learning quite a bit about my lady, fully understanding about 90%. My training was to comprehend more than to speak,
so I put that strength to work.

Nice TR, TwoBit - I'm enjoying this one. I imagine by the time Galina returns from Turkey, you'll be stateside, da ?

[TwoBitBandit]

I didn't find the need for truly advanced skills to make it useful for myself - I'd ask a few key questions, then shut my mouth. And I was off to the races learning quite a bit about my lady, fully understanding about 90%. My training was to comprehend more than to speak,so I put that strength to work.

Well, it all depends on the type of conversation you want to have.  If you just want to ask how many brothers and sisters she has then you'll do fine with some pretty basic Russian.  If you want to discuss trends in nineteenth-century Russian literature and poetry, then you need quite a bit more Russian.  And if you really want to know a girl by talking to her for a few hours (not all at once, of course) before you go meet her, you need a lot of Russian or you're going to run out of topics pretty quickly.[/quote]

Nice TR, TwoBit - I'm enjoying this one.

Thanks.

I imagine by the time Galina returns from Turkey, you'll be stateside, da ?

Yeah, she'll be there for a week or so and I'm leaving early Monday morning.

[TwoBitBandit]

TBB, most of the dating sites have search/screens where you can put in height and weight.  That would keep you from ending up with gals who are shorter than you wish.  The weight one is sort of hit and miss as most gals will lie about their weight; not too often about their height.

I tried the search engine on mamba available to "VIP" members but I wasn't that happy with it.  There's no way to specify and "and" vs. an "or" search.  A lot of profiles don't even list a hight or weight: mamba makes entering that information optional.  (Although if a girl doesn't enter a weight there's usually a reason.)  Weight is also difficult to use because a 130-pound girl who is 5"1' is a bit chubby, but at 5'10" she's not.

[OlgaH]

I would discourage anyone to use the term 'Kulaks', because this is a negative word that Bolsheviks invented for the well to do farmers. Russians may use the word among themselves, but this is not the word that polite foreigners would be advised to use.

Lily I don't think it will be such a fault to use the term kulak.    Not all Russians and more over foreigners have read the works by Alexander Engelhardt (1872-1887), an agricultural scientist, professor of Saint Petersburg Agriculture Institute and publicist, and also works on peasantry studying by other authors. Engelhardt's "12 letters from a village" especially interesting to read if you are interested in history.
http://www.hist.msu.ru/ER/Etext/ENGLGRDT/index.html

"...a real kulak... loves neither dirt, nor farming, nor labor, he loves only money.  He will not say that he is ashamed that he doesn’t feel pain in his hands and legs when he goes to sleep, on the contrary, he says: "Work likes fools," "Only a fool works, but the clever one strolls with his hands in his pockets and cudgel his brains.  He (real kulak) is proud of his fat belly, and that he works a little: "All my debtors will mow, reap everything and put in the barn...  He (real kulak) inherited his capital that was got by unknown but shady means and was kept under wraps and brought  into the light of day only after "The Provision" (The Emancipation Reform of 1861 in Russia).
Letter 10
http://www.hist.msu.ru/ER/Etext/ENGLGRDT/10.htm

The term kulak existed before the Revolution and had its meaning. For non Russian-speaking community: "kulak" means fist, the term came from the idiom "to hold something in one fist" - "he holds whole village community in his fist".

[I/O]

I got what I deserved in this particular case.

Providing you accept and understand that, you're none the poorer. It appears to me you do, in part understand that but I'm not convinced from your report if or not you have really gotten a handle on Siberians. :noidea:

I almost sensed it coming from the tone of her SMS messages and our conversation on the phone.  I remember thinking, "she not that happy with me, I'm going to have to really be charming to have this work out well."

Perhaps a case of the guilty already running where none were pursuing.

I had the right idea about what was going to come at me but I had no idea of the magnitude.

Your dating experience with this race maybe reasonably broad but your "close" time is lacking. What actually happened? You spun her out for who knows how long then sensed she was all over your case like a bad rash. You proceeded and thought (Most Russians would consider this extremely arrogant and I admit to falling into similar traps early myself) you could charm your way though. She blew you off in a heartbeat and you didn't have any more shots in the breach? Me thinks I'm not spot on but close. The bit you really missed, the key bit, is she turned up...!! She was still up for the game but under fire, you didn't make the grade by her measure. If you do actually "get" this race, you'll understand, perhaps later, it was what happened after you met rather than before that hung you out to dry.

No worries, all you can do is learn from your mistakes and do better next time.

Be sure to understand what the mistake actually was / is. I'm not a VM fan but I proved it doable and as such I think you've missed the point to an extent. The mistake may not be the time the juggler keeps the plates in the air but how well he catches them on the return fall.

[TwoBitBandit]

Day 13: Thursday, July 8:

At about 8:30 I get up and begin my morning ritual of coffee, news and great blogs.

The plan for today was already set up.  I’m meeting Aliona at 3:00 and another, Kristina at 7:00.

At 3:00 I meet Aliona.  She is attractive and slim and wearing a nice dress.  Unfortunately, she’s wearing some huge eighties-style sunglasses.  I found it a little bit rude: I never wear sunglasses on a date unless we’re going to lie on the beach or go on a long boat ride and then only when we’re actually on the beach or boat.  We decide to go for a walk in central park.  Aliona’s answers are curt.  She has an annoying habit of interrupting me pointedly when I’m expressing an idea at the first word I mispronounce or use incorrectly. 

I was intrigued with Aliona because she received her diploma in a technical field.  It sounded like kind of a cross between architecture and civil engineering.  Unlike most of the other girls in this trip report, I never spoke to her on the phone before coming to Russia.  Yet, her letters were complete and well written, so I wasn’t that worried.

Yet, my impression of her in person was the opposite: she was closed-minded and lived in a small world.  She’d never once traveled outside of the Novosibirsk area except once to a neighboring city (Omsk or Tomsk or Kemerova or somewhere, I forgot.)  She had absolutely no interest in traveling abroad, in studying languages.  She had no hobbies except going to the forest with her friends and barbequing.  She had no interest in art or literature.  I couldn’t get a conversation going on any front.  There were a lot of gaps in the conversation.

At one point in the conversation she described how much she hates black people, and said that it is unfortunate that there are so many in America.  I tried to politely respond that it’s important to judge individuals by their own actions, but it didn’t change her position.  (As an aside, the Russian word for a black person sounds suspiciously like the n-bomb in English.  In Russian that word doesn’t have the same connotations that it has in English, but it is still a little shocking to my American ears to hear it spoken.) 

She complained about her job for awhile.  Due to the economic situation, she can’t find a job related to her degree.  So, she’s working for a company that sells construction.  She thoroughly detests her job.  Then, she blamed the whole situation on America for creating the economic crisis.  I decided not to argue.

We walked together in silence for a few minutes in the park for a few minutes more and then she made an excuse to leave.  So it goes.

I’ve never met an RW that was so bitter at such a young age.


After that, I spent some time trying to find a book for a Russian I know back in the United States.  It’s a dictionary of some sort:  Большой Толковый Словарь Русского Языка.  I remember seeing a bookstore somewhere near Krasny Prospect (one of the main streets) but can’t remember exactly where.  I spent about 45 minutes looking for it and finally find it.  Fortunately, they had the book and I bought it for the fine price of 549 roubles.

When I get out it’s raining.  Unfortunately, I didn’t bring TwoBitBandit’s magic umbrella today.  TwoBitBandit’s magic umbrella is a remarkable device.  It is capable of controlling the weather.  When I carry it with me, it wards off rain.  When leave it at home, it attracts rain.  Anyway, today I left it at home, so the rain was attracted.  So, I decide to go back to my flat.

The next meeting is at seven with Kristina.  Kristina is not dressed particularly well but she is friendly.  She looks quite a bit different than her photos, which showed her with my longer hair.  She’s one of the more intelligent girls, and our conversation is quite fascinating.  We talked about the evolution of languages, about how nineteenth century European trends in art affected Russian trends in art and about the writing styles of various Russian writers.  She was simply pleasant to be with.

Later on we went to a Russian restaurant, and she told me a lot about preparation of all the different kinds of Russian dishes.  Her and I understood each other quite well.  It was a refreshing change after my meeting with Aliona who kept interrupting my thoughts.

Unfortunately, there was absolutely no chemistry.  After dinner, we went to the metro station and politely saw each other off.  So it goes.

The plan for tomorrow is to meet Galina again for a second date in the evening at a time that hasn’t been determined.  I have the option to meet a girl in Academgorodok during the day, but I have to travel all the way there on a marshrutka and then figure out how to get to a café or some other agreed-upon meeting point.  I told her I’ll contact her in the morning and tell her if I was coming.  The girl is younger than the others (23) and I don’t have much history writing and talking to her, so I think I’m not going to go.

The A list is getting pretty thin at this point and my schedule is getting a little bit more open.  I don’t mind that much since I’m getting a bit of “dating fatigue” by this point.

[Patagonie]

Hi twobandit
I'm happy for you, you are so brave to resist 15 pages !!! I know i'm a little late to write but i have to read all your trip before.
In a technical manner there are many things i have to tell you (wich surprised me)
First i think the A3 time of MM is the phasis the less well understood of the game. Some people here, in a non gaming language, try to tell you because they are very experienced and some are intuitive. At never moment i read you validate this chapter.
There are some things i didn't understand :
You try to kiss each girl you like at the end of the meeting (and try to do it during the meeting with Anna, and with Galina, fortunately  ). Wich PUA writes this sort of thing, where do you read this sort of thing. If you miss it you cannot repeat it the second meeting (at the end of the meeting), she will be on her guard. It's a DLV, and as RW, and because it's summer, and because you are a stranger, and because you are on dating site (sexual site, friend site, dating site, marriage site) she can think that you are a sexual tourist (wich you aren't). She will enhance her bitchshield instead of. How can you manage her refusal the second after you split ? Can you make a takeway just after to enter in the punish/reward cycle ? No. Why do you want this kiss, exactly at this moment ? Sorry it's not the proper moment, like you do with Galina, it's with the wave that you should take off. And you know to do it with Galina, where is the problem ?
Second you wrote "I’ve already told a lot of my standard stories about crazy things that I’ve done, so I use a couple of canned routines I know". At this level you don't need to DHV, you had have a lot of IOI and you are already flirting. The danger here is if she is a LSE she can think you are not in her league in time (not now, but after you are arrival in USA). Second, why fire all your bullets at first meeting ?
About canned material, yes sometimes, and in particular in the opener time you need it because there a lot of pressure on you, so you must know your song to manage BL, return IOI, voice and the two others girls of the set, and the music of the party, and your four beers. But in such meeting, why do you need such a thing ? If you was 19 i can understand, but with your life you don't need. Are you afraid that your life is not enough interesting, with all my respect buddy. You don't need a 381 shell to take control of a fish boat. Calibration, you remember ?
About the phone wich rang several times during your meeting : NOT professionnal. You don't respect at all your work (all the time you spend, the money, the vacations, and perhaps your future beloved), if you are a player your phone MUST be off or insilent mode, or vibrate mode. You can loose a girl, in the international dating, only with such detail, in particular in the beginning of the courtship.
Other thing : you don't want to return immediatly an answer to two girls. You are right. But on other side when the same girl IS ALWAYS  late you are  always exactly on time. Reverse, lets her waiting you a little bit, it's more playful.
About Anna and your trip. I'm for few weeks on Mamba, i think it's a trap for me because i don't have the russian language skills you have. But on an other side on a lot of specialized sites (EM) and agencies you don't have to sort the oriented marriage girls, there are plenty of them here, wich it's not the case of Mamba.
Oh, about Anna. Yes you need to be an high value man, no doubt about it and game is a tool to help you (and lot of people don't understand that game is not a toy for child but  the painful course of several years of a deep human transformation, exactly like top apnea guys or like yoga. You become what you want to be (you try to do it, we must keep modest) and your seduction is not a paint but become natural. We know how it's costly to leave the comfort road, dislearn to better learn) but as you are not really in a training course, but in a marriage course you CANNOT play too much the hard to get way. RW are proud, and some are VERY proud.  Anna make a big step at a moment propose you to meet again, and for i learnt of this international relations (and i speak only two words of russia) is NEVER punish a RW by cutting the line, always holding the line even if your proud  had been a little hurt. Ok buddy, i know : it's against the rules of the game, but you cannot for each travel show her your finger as soon she don't want to escalate with you, and exactly when you want. Ok perhaps she is too young, immature, absolutely a non sexual material, or she have a RM with who she has tremendous sex, or she has a ton of male contacts.  You don't know for the moment. But for those woman you need to know that it is a big turn OFF for YOU to show that she's not the only challenger, and as you show her in an OBVIOUS manner so you hurted her proud. Remember A3 stage.
    Thank you for this sentence "One of my strategies was to be vague about when I'm coming to Novosibirsk and say I'll get in touch when I arrive.  Then, I can pull them out as my schedule clears up.  I message like, "I just arrived in town, can I see you in the next couple of days" goes over well." it's a good advice for WMVM.
     About the trip of Galina : yellow flag. each time a RW get out of the country, ask you why ? And more with who ?
"When I get out it’s raining.  Unfortunately, I didn’t bring TwoBitBandit’s magic umbrella today.  TwoBitBandit’s magic umbrella is a remarkable device.  It is capable of controlling the weather.  When I carry it with me, it wards off rain.  When leave it at home, it attracts rain.  Anyway, today I left it at home, so the rain was attracted.  So, I decide to go back to my flat."
Patagonie : control doesn't prevent to enjoy 

[SFandEE]

Patagonie--not intended negative at all, but for some reason when I was reading your post I kept hearing your words in Bono's voice.

[Misha]

PUA, DLV, DHI, IOI, ....

Help, I need a translator   

[Jooky]

Very interesting read, Patagonie.

All these strategies are fine to build confidence, but there's no need to over think and calculate everything. It's Novosibirsk, not Hollyweird! Pick up artists geared their 'game' towards drawing attention from women in scenes like LA nightclubs.

Here's how a foreigner catches a woman's attention in a Russian night club:

You walk into a nightclub.

[TwoBitBandit]

Here's how a foreigner catches a woman's attention in a Russian night club:
You walk into a nightclub.

         

Jooky, I went to a nightclub for awhile with Anna last week.  I've been in FSU nightclubs before but the club here was the most lopsided ratio I've ever seen in my life in a nightclub.  There were like 80 girls and 5 guys.  A couple of the girls were nuts, flashing their underwear and stuff.  It was crazy.

[TwoBitBandit]

PUA, DLV, DHI, IOI, ....
Help, I need a translator   

PUA = Pick-up artist
DLV = Display Lower Value
DHV = Display Higher Value
IOI = Indicator of interest
LSE  = Low self-esteem

http://www.fastseduction.com/acronyms.shtml