Russian wedding traditions article on womenrussia.com accurate or not?

[JensenHealey907]

The web site www.womenrussia.com seems to be some sort of companion site to the Elena's Models site and on there is a three part article about Russian wedding traditions. The actual article links are:

http://www.womenrussia.com/wedding.htm#engagement
http://www.womenrussia.com/wedding1.htm
http://www.womenrussia.com/wedding2.htm

What I am curious about is if a knowledgeable person here can tell me if these articles are still accurate? I know some people here have said the advice e-book sold through the EM and this site seem to be filled with information that is pretty old so I was wondering if the same applies to these wedding traditions articles.
--
Steve

[die_cast]

First of all, you have to remember that not everything you read about Russian traditions and customs is a mandatory.

I can't speak for every girl, but I can give you my POV:
Yes, it's true. There is no such thing as "an engagement" in Russia, and Russian man doesn't give any rings to his girl before wedding day.
And yes, the wedding is planned soon if you ask your lady to marry you. The couple goes to ZAGS to apply in writing the asking to register their marriage. If the girl is not pregnant, there must be one month of "waiting period" and you have to pay the registration fee.
We call our wedding rings "engagement rings" (in literal translation), the couple choose and buy them together. Usually those rings are plain wedding bands of gold, but it's not necessary nowdays, it depends on you and your lady.
The bride's dress is made specially for occasion only if a girl can't find the one she likes or if she has no enough money to buy it; some hire a dress or some accessories.

How simple your wedding will, will it take one day or two, will everybody drunk there or not, etc. - depends on you and your lady. You have to ask her about it, not any book or forum online.

One thing which depends on you is an engagement ring as a part of Western tradition.
Yes, you are going to marry Russian lady, but it doesn't make you Russian man, you are still Western man and your lady knows about Western traditions. Most girls would expect to get an engagement ring from you as a part of your tradition, because you would give it to Western woman. It doesn't mean that the ring should be expensive, not at all.  But if your lady expects a ring from you and you will not give her one, she could assume that you don't think that she deserves it and it will offend her.

[JensenHealey907]

Thank you for the reply die_cast.

[Jumper]

Jensen..
As die cast stated , it really is up to the couple.

Remember there are all kinds of traditions, that may , or may not be  completely adhered to by the family, or couple.
These traditions can also vary a bit region to region city to city..etc

The folowing was fairly accurate from what I've been involved in-
yet remember some couples may hit ZAGs , have a small dinner/party  with family and that is it.Other weddings may be far more involved and last a few days.

A Russian wedding must be fun, or it is not a wedding. (I have attended a few western weddings including my own, and compared to Russian ones they are just plain boring.)

When the groom arrives to fetch the bride he must have some spare time until the ceremony as he is about to fight to get the bride. Russians live in blocks, and the higher the bride's apartment, the more effort the groom has to spend. There are posters with jokes about family life and wedding all over the walls on his way up made by the bride's friends. Each stair-well is a challenge for the groom - he must answer a question to be allowed to make those few steps up. It's a team work - bride's friends ask devious questions (sometimes about a bride, sometimes just difficult enigmas), and the groom must answer with the help of his friends. For example, he may be shown a few photos of baby girls and he must say which one is his bride. If he guessed wrong, he must pay cash to pass this stair-well. (If the building has a lift it will be usually blocked by the bride's team; but if the groom manages to find another way to the bride's apartment than the stairs, it's his right. He can climb up the wall or climb down from the roof - it would be much more fun but grooms are seldom that adventurous.) So it can be quite a tough intellectual task to get to the door of his bride. He can be also asked to sing, to dance or anything else. But eventually he will make it of course.

This ransom bit seems common, and is fun.
You are taking this *neighborhoods most beautiful girl- what will you offer them in exchange
its done in good humor, and yo may be asked personal questions, riddles , jokes, to sing or dance..etc.

There are many traditions , like which spouse is taking the biggest bite of a loaf of salt /bread, or who steps on the Rushnik first (if they have this particular ceremony) etc. 
but again it will vary quite a bit by couple.
The overall idea is fun for everyone involved..and is generally much more involved in that aspect than western weddings.

[Daveman]

As die-cast and jumper mention, "traditions" vary by region, background, and/or religious affiliation.

This ransom bit seems common, and is fun.
You are taking this *neighborhoods most beautiful girl- what will you offer them in exchange
its done in good humor, and yo may be asked personal questions, riddles , jokes, to sing or dance..etc.

There are many traditions , like which spouse is taking the biggest bite of a loaf of salt /bread, or who steps on the Rushnik first (if they have this particular ceremony) etc. 
but again it will vary quite a bit by couple.
The overall idea is fun for everyone involved..and is generally much more involved in that aspect than western weddings.

Our wedding day was also similar to what was written.  Went something sorta somewhat like this..

-Wake up.
-Have a drink.
-Go get ready.
-Wait for photographer/videographer
-Photographer/videographer show up and takes photos of groom getting dressed.
-Have a shot (drink) with the Photog/Vidiog while in underwear and shirt.
-They leave and go to the bride's place (heh, she didn't mention whether she did shots in her underwear)
-wait for hell to freeze
-wait some more
-say to hell with it and have another drink
-phone rings and fun begins
-Car, all decked out with ribbons various arrives picks up groom.
-Everyone has a yet another shot before leaving on the conquest.
-A/C is turned on and set to "ultra-trickle-continental-drift-flow" (this is a real setting and is a condition of vehicular import) so as to not inadvertently kill anyone with moving, cold air.

-arrive somewhere near the bride's (perhaps in the neighborhood)
-begin the gauntlet of challenges to win the bride -- being confronted by layers of people with specific challenges/bribes (chocolates, a bottle of alcohol, a myriad of possibilities)/games - sing/dance/answer riddles/solve puzzles/guess underwear color/ answer strange questions about family or friends -- the 'best man' is supposed to know what's coming and be prepared to assist with the effort.
-the last challenge is the toughest one. Usually the father, or big bad uncle, or ...
-arrive at bride, raise veil, kiss the bride..
-everyone drinks champaign toasts

-go to park with entire wedding entourage and have more photos and video
-more toasts
-head off to zags with wild horn blowing, shouts from onlookers, etc..
-zags ceremony is sorta like a wedding chapel version here sans the religious aspects - exchange rings, bite the bread, step on the Rushnik (a special rug thing), and share a drink of champagne from an enormous glass.  THEN the most important part - signing the wedding documents while everyone witnesses. 
-then greet the guests as husband and wife (be prepared to receive and hold a billion so flowers)
-get official stamps in passports indicating "married" and "to whom"
-leave zags to cheers and the raining of flower petals...

-head to the reception for more games, drinking, dancing food etc...  most everyone there will want to do a toast with you. My memory ceased to save information after about 9pm or so... some of these games are popular and traditional, e.g., someone steals one of the bride's shoes and it's up to you to track down the thief and get it back with yet another bribe, guests shouting chants of "gorka... gorka.." and you kiss the bride while they then count, very loudly, how long the kisses last then wildly cheering at the end..

all in all it's a looooooooong day (and night) but it's a blast.  I would highly suggest marrying there if it's your fiancee's first marriage so she can have her day in the spotlight with her friends and family, plus -- have I mentioned that it's a blast? 

[JensenHealey907]

Wow, this all sounds like a lot of fun. Much more so than what I did for my first marriage go round here in the states. Thanks for the extra informational posts from Daveman and Jumper.