How are women thought of in FSU who go for quick 'hook ups'?

[Trenchcoat]

I mean by all accounts most are apparently against the idea, so just wondered how this kind of differs from the west? How are they thought of by family and friends if they go for quick hook ups? Why don't they go for it, etc.

[ML]

There is not much difference in FSU compared to USA.

And hardly anyone really knows if someone else actually participates in 'quick hookups.'

Dating and staying out late, etc., does not lead automatically to quick sex.

Men probably lie in the overstate direction about their sex life . . . women probably lie in the understate direction about their sex life.

So friends and family hardly ever know the real truth.

[BillyB]

I mean by all accounts most are apparently against the idea,

Some women want short term relationships and others long term. Some FSU women are open to both. Just depends on where they're at in life or the guy they're with. In America, I dated a Belarussian woman and she concluded she didn't want a long term relationship with me but she did tell me she needed help with college and instead of spending money on her for food and entertainment dating her, just give her the money and in return, she'll make me happy. If the right guy came along, I'm sure she'd marry him. Until he shows up, she was open to short term friends with benefits relationships.

I'm sure a lot of men here are wondering if women in the FSU are keeping their legs closed waiting for them to show up and propose. Chances are many are taking care of their physical needs while waiting.

[Faux Pas]

They call them Шлюхи

[papakota]

Chances are many are taking care of their physical needs while waiting.

Many, it's almost all.

[ML]

Many, it's almost all.

Except for the women engaged to or married to the men here.

[BillyB]

Many, it's almost all.

That is discouraging news for newbies here. The thought of their lady banging boyfriend #3 or #4 is heartbreaking. The thought that their woman never answers the phone on a Friday or Saturday night gives them anxiety attacks. And if by chance she does answer the phone on one of those nights, club music is playing in the background and she promises you the only guy she's seeing is Jack Daniels.

There are people out there that can save themselves for their one and only. Got to figure them out.

[papakota]

That is discouraging news for newbies here. The thought of their lady banging boyfriend #3 or #4 is heartbreaking. The thought that their woman never answers the phone on a Friday or Saturday night gives them anxiety attacks. And if by chance she does answer the phone on one of those nights, club music is playing in the background and she promises you the only guy she's seeing is Jack Daniels.

There are people out there that can save themselves for their one and only. Got to figure them out.

It shouldn't be discouraging. Russian women have needs and they satisfy them. I wouldn't call it a boyfriend. More like a sex friend. I think usually they stop banging sex buddies if they meet someone serious. Sometimes women don't have sex for a relatively long time. A year or two. Not like they always have someone to sleep with. The important point to understand is if attractive women in Russia don't have sex for some time it is not because they can't find it, but because they aren't interested in it. What's difficult to find for them is a partner for life, a husband. Not just any husband, but one that can support them well enough. Alcohol abuse is always an issue in Russia. That alone makes finding a husband for Russian women pretty difficult.

[papakota]

I can give you an example. Once a Russian woman told me about her sex life after her divorce. She found a sportsman. A healthy stud who came to her apartment couple times a week just for sex. She used to bang him for a long time. Maybe even a few years. Then she stopped seeing him for some reason. She was a horny lady. Always wanted sex. She was so loud when she banged me so I felt somewhat ashamed that our neighbors could hear us. It was in 2011. What you gonna do, healthy women have needs. It's a free country, you know.

[BillyB]

I can give you an example. Once a Russian woman told me about her sex life after her divorce. She found a sportsman. A healthy stud who came to her apartment couple times a week just for sex. She used to bang him for a long time. Maybe even a few years. Then she stopped seeing him for some reason. She was a horny lady. Always wanted sex. She was so loud when she banged me so I felt somewhat ashamed that our neighbors could hear us. It was in 2011. What you gonna do, healthy women have needs. It's a free country, you know.

I've been in the healthy stud position but while we talk about women having their physical needs fulfilled, some newbies read this and wonder why they can't even get a kiss from a RW they met.

http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=11638.0

[papakota]

I'll reveal the secret. It takes time with Russian women. Same as with women in Ukraine. About twice as long as with US women. Time is the key. That's why I keep telling here that it's best to spend AT LEAST 3 months here.
When I was living in the US, I used to have sex usually on first dates. It's almost a norm there. Here and in the Ukraine it's far from the norm. Though it's quite possible too. Of course, if she doesn't like you, time won't help much. But even if she does, she might want to wait awhile. On a first date I think it's best not to get physical at all, UNLESS you're sure that it might be what she wants. Try to hold her hand first. If she's OK with that, you can try to hug her. And then maybe progress to kisses etc. She'll let you know how far you can get with her.

[msmob]

I'll reveal the secret. It takes time with Russian women.

You seem to be revealing a very different experience to mine...are you SURE you live in Russia ? I find they don't beat around the bush....

Or is it a matter of confidence ? I'm a confident guy and I have been shocked at how quickly some ladies have been to suggest we 'know each other well enough' ...

[alex330]

I imagine it is not much different than the West. It varies by woman and her set of values and friends.


My wife and most of her gf's were never into "hook ups". All long term relationships. I did notice that many did not remain single for very long though. Usually jumped back into a relationship rather quickly.

[ML]

I'll reveal the secret. It takes time with Russian women. Same as with women in Ukraine. About twice as long as with US women.

Not my experience.

[papakota]

Not my experience.

Who knows, maybe if I had a US passport in my pocket, my experience would've been similar to yours.

[papakota]

I imagine it is not much different than the West. It varies by woman and her set of values and friends.

My wife and most of her gf's were never into "hook ups". All long term relationships. I did notice that many did not remain single for very long though. Usually jumped back into a relationship rather quickly.

Not much different than the US, but it is different. I don't know about the West. Only US women showed some interest in me so far among Western women. It is quickly here, but not as quickly as in America. Slower. That's exactly the problem I had in Ukraine in 2005 after leaving the US two years prior to that. I couldn't understand why women in Ukraine didn't sleep on first dates. After I spent about a month in Ukraine I understood that and took it a bit slower. And it did work.

[JayH]

I'll reveal the secret. It takes time with Russian women. Same as with women in Ukraine. About twice as long as with US women. Time is the key. That's why I keep telling here that it's best to spend AT LEAST 3 months here.
When I was living in the US, I used to have sex usually on first dates. It's almost a norm there. Here and in the Ukraine it's far from the norm. Though it's quite possible too. Of course, if she doesn't like you, time won't help much. But even if she does, she might want to wait awhile. On a first date I think it's best not to get physical at all, UNLESS you're sure that it might be what she wants. Try to hold her hand first. If she's OK with that, you can try to hug her. And then maybe progress to kisses etc. She'll let you know how far you can get with her.

Not much this guy says that I actually agree with -- BUT -- in this case of all the comments in this thread and previously -- to me this is the most accurate assessment,

Any notion of a 3 date rule and discard is complete and utter nonsense advice.

Am I qualified to comment? Without wishing to enter any pissing contest I am pretty confident my views have a very ( very very in DT's words) wide experience to base my comments on.
Not only myself-- but I have discussed  this topic and others like it many times-- and with quite a wide range of ages.

For a guy visiting--even if he has done a lot of preliminary inter action ( eg Skype and I am not talking sex chat here) to arrive with idea that a girl will be in your bed in 5 minutes is just plain silly.

My view is that girls are more conservative than in the west. No doubt that western guys have a bad reputation in the honesty stakes adds to the complications.
If there is a substantial age difference -- that will add time-perhaps a lot of time.

Just as in the west-- all bets can be off when the chemistry fires !!

What I see amongst a lot of guys who arrive here on forum is that many fit what I have seen in real life in Ukraine--strange western guys that are a misfit in their own world -- thinking that some miracle can change their life .

I  have to add --I have met some good guys I classify as fairly normal  too -so  there is 2 sides to that coin.

What bothers me with guys promoting and encouraging unknown guys into a "3 date" type rule that it is bad advice to a serious guy-- and craziness to the social misfits.

[mhr7]

I'll reveal the secret. It takes time with Russian women. Same as with women in Ukraine. About twice as long as with US women. Time is the key. That's why I keep telling here that it's best to spend AT LEAST 3 months here.
When I was living in the US, I used to have sex usually on first dates. It's almost a norm there. Here and in the Ukraine it's far from the norm. Though it's quite possible too. Of course, if she doesn't like you, time won't help much. But even if she does, she might want to wait awhile. On a first date I think it's best not to get physical at all, UNLESS you're sure that it might be what she wants. Try to hold her hand first. If she's OK with that, you can try to hug her. And then maybe progress to kisses etc. She'll let you know how far you can get with her.

From my own experience, I would agree with this. She is one who generally sets the pace and determines when she is ready. It also depends on what she is after. If she wants a LTR then she will usually take her time but if she just wants sex, one night stands are easily done here. Personally, I think it makes the pursuit more interesting and the sex is usually better if she makes you chase her a bit.

[msmob]

Who knows, maybe if I had a US passport in my pocket, my experience would've been similar to yours.

Ba, Humbug....  I haven't got a US passport and Ireland isn't normally the top of the list of ladies aspirational nations

I'm pretty sure our experiences are reflecting our characters and the ladies we are interested in.

[BillyB]

A guy may have the experience with a woman that waits months before she sleeps with him. A different guy may be able to sleep with her on the first night. Guys here may have different experiences with girls overall but the difference may not be between the women. The difference is between the guys.

[ML]

Personally, I think it makes the pursuit more interesting and the sex is usually better if she makes you chase her a bit.

Your Man Card should be revoked.

[2tallbill]

I mean by all accounts most are apparently against the idea, so just wondered how this kind of differs from the west? How are they thought of by family and friends if they go for quick hook ups? Why don't they go for it, etc.

My advice is to not spend much time worrying about such things. Quick hook ups
between 16-20 year old fsuw? who knows? probably most of them do this. You are
hopefully looking for someone a bit older and there won't be many of them who live
that lifestyle.

Having said that, there is a belief among FSUW that they need to have sex from time
to time for their health, to blow out the carbon and keep the pipes clean so to speak.
FSUW for the most part aren't prudes and don't have many of the hangups that you
will find among many girls in the West.

My advice is don't worry about it. What's the odds of you getting caught up in that
crowd? Pretty low I would think. If you want to increase your chances at finding such
girls hang out in night clubs and seek out the party girls.

[2tallbill]

My view is that girls are more conservative than in the west. No doubt that western guys have a bad reputation in the honesty stakes adds to the complications.
If there is a substantial age difference -- that will add time-perhaps a lot of time.

Just as in the west-- all bets can be off when the chemistry fires !!

What I see amongst a lot of guys who arrive here on forum is that many fit what I have seen in real life in Ukraine--strange western guys that are a misfit in their own world -- thinking that some miracle can change their life .

I  have to add --I have met some good guys I classify as fairly normal  too -so  there is 2 sides to that coin.

What bothers me with guys promoting and encouraging unknown guys into a "3 date" type rule that it is bad advice to a serious guy-- and craziness to the social misfits.

I think Shakey from another forum advocated a 5 date rule. The rule was basically
conceived for the clueless so that they would know when to move on. The clueless
are going to struggle mightily in the FSU no matter what kind of guidelines and
safety nets are set out for them.

Let's look at the visit one strategy. A guy weeds out a bunch of girls, then finds a girl
better than the others and decides to hop on a plane and meet her. They meet and
they don't have chemistry.

The girl invited them to come but she decides that she isn't interested in him romantically
but feels obligated to show him around her country etc. Most men know if a woman is
into them or not. HOWEVER some have a problem admitting the truth. They've spent
so much time, money, energy and emotions on a girl and they think that she will
suddenly see the light. They look at every nice thing she said or did as evidence
that she is coming around, when she isn't going to come around.

Women don't come around except in Hollywood and Hollywood isn't real life.

The 5 date rule was supposedly made for those guys. The rule was really made
so that a guy could point to the rule and say, see............. you should have moved
on.

Bill's rule is don't lie to yourself. 

Bill's rule is far easier said than done. I've wanted things to work out very, very, very
much but they didn't and I had to give myself a pep talk and move on. This is not
as easy as it sounds when you are emotionally involved, but in the end it's what you
need to do. The sooner you get rid of this non interested girl the sooner you can find
the right girl.

Newbies can go to my trip report and see that all these things have happened to me
and that I've lied to myself, I've held out hope that a girl would come around. I've also
followed Bill's rule and dumped a girl and moved on. I did this and found my wife on a
trip to meet a different girl. If I had spent the time moping around I would never have
met Angel Eyes.

[Faux Pas]

Bill's rule is don't lie to yourself. 

Excellent rule.

Sometimes the timing is right to have sex on the first date. The attraction and energy are there and the flow naturally leads to sex. Don't fight it or force it. Go with the flow. Other times it's the next date or several dates later. Putting a number on times to date before sex is petty and juvenile. One doesn't have to have sex to feel the sexual chemistry heating up. However, a man two dates in and there isn't a shared sexual attraction. Don't lie to yourself, she's not into you. She might be eventually but that's a coin toss.

[Anotherkiwi]

The simplest answer is to treat them the way you would at home.  I know that most of us have (or will have) travelled a long way to get to the FSU, so the temptation is to try to make any possible relationship work, but what's the point if it's fairly obvious to at least one of you that you're going nowhere fast?  Cut your losses, say goodbye nicely, and move on - exactly as you (hopefully  ) would have done if you were dating in your home town.