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Author Topic: relationship timing puzzle and money... solvable?  (Read 12190 times)

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Offline zengeek

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relationship timing puzzle and money... solvable?
« on: May 26, 2015, 08:29:40 AM »
Hi, I am posting this in the Russian ladies section because maybe one of you could offer a creative solution, given you know how women thinks.

I am in Ukraine, I recently met a Ukrainian girl through an agency.  In our first meeting we instantly clicked.  The mutual good feeling was very good and it felt very compatible, I think it must have been years since last time I feel this way with a girl.  I can feel that she is into me a lot too.

However, the timing is very bad.  It happens that she signed a contract to go on a cruise ship for the next 6 months.  We both said, multiple times, that we wish we had met a month earlier.  I have two more days to meet with her, and she definitely wants to meet with me again.  However, 2 days is definitely insufficient to start any type of relationship.

Cruise ships salaries are quite low. Six months of salary is an amount I am willing to give away just so that we can have more time to know each other.  I even suggested giving her this money, or "loaning" it to her.  Of course she refused, I am glad at least she is not offended.

From her perspective, this is a really good job, very difficult to get, a job that allows her to travel around the world a bit (but also work very hard, 11 hour days).  It is too risky to give up such a good job to try out a relationship with a man she just met, no matter how well the first meeting goes.  Even if such a relationship goes well, if later it sours she will become jobless again.  I can totally see her point of view.

I thought about buying a ticket for her cruise.  I am not able to do that because my job requires a fast internet connection (but can be anywhere in the world, just not on a cruise ship...)

I am willing to offer money to her (in a non-offensive way) just so that we can give this potential relationship a chance. So I am wondering if anyone can think of a way to solve this puzzle at all...

Cheers, -zg

PS. If the meetings in the next 2 days goes well, my next option would be to "chase her around the world" by co-ordinating with her about her cruise ship destinations.  I am in a lucky position where I can do that.  But this is sub-optimal because the time we can spend together will be very little, and we will always be losing momentum...

Offline Boethius

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Re: relationship timing puzzle and money... solvable?
« Reply #1 on: May 26, 2015, 09:11:30 AM »
If she is working, even if you are on her ship, she won't have time to spend with you.
 
Six months is nothing.  Write each other and skype during that period.
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Offline Slumba

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Re: relationship timing puzzle and money... solvable?
« Reply #2 on: May 26, 2015, 09:22:46 AM »
Either way is a risk.  She might meet a fellow cruise ship worker and end up with him. Or, you might be happy for 1 month if you can convince her to stay, and then after that one or the other of you decide it isn't what is being looked for.  Or you might end up together, and deliriously happy.
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Offline LiveFromUkraine

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Re: relationship timing puzzle and money... solvable?
« Reply #3 on: May 26, 2015, 09:33:34 AM »
Hi, I am posting this in the Russian ladies section because maybe one of you could offer a creative solution, given you know how women thinks.

I am in Ukraine, I recently met a Ukrainian girl through an agency.  In our first meeting we instantly clicked.  The mutual good feeling was very good and it felt very compatible, I think it must have been years since last time I feel this way with a girl.  I can feel that she is into me a lot too.

However, the timing is very bad.  It happens that she signed a contract to go on a cruise ship for the next 6 months.  We both said, multiple times, that we wish we had met a month earlier.  I have two more days to meet with her, and she definitely wants to meet with me again.  However, 2 days is definitely insufficient to start any type of relationship.

Cruise ships salaries are quite low. Six months of salary is an amount I am willing to give away just so that we can have more time to know each other.  I even suggested giving her this money, or "loaning" it to her.  Of course she refused, I am glad at least she is not offended.

From her perspective, this is a really good job, very difficult to get, a job that allows her to travel around the world a bit (but also work very hard, 11 hour days).  It is too risky to give up such a good job to try out a relationship with a man she just met, no matter how well the first meeting goes.  Even if such a relationship goes well, if later it sours she will become jobless again.  I can totally see her point of view.

I thought about buying a ticket for her cruise.  I am not able to do that because my job requires a fast internet connection (but can be anywhere in the world, just not on a cruise ship...)

I am willing to offer money to her (in a non-offensive way) just so that we can give this potential relationship a chance. So I am wondering if anyone can think of a way to solve this puzzle at all...

Cheers, -zg

PS. If the meetings in the next 2 days goes well, my next option would be to "chase her around the world" by co-ordinating with her about her cruise ship destinations.  I am in a lucky position where I can do that.  But this is sub-optimal because the time we can spend together will be very little, and we will always be losing momentum...


I think if you care for this woman, you should let her do her thing.  She may love it or hate it.  In any case, this is something she has the opportunity to try out and she really should.  The last thing you want is for your relationship to fail and her missing out on that job.


I most definitely would not be following her around from country to country. 


If I were you, I would be looking for someone who is available right now.  This woman isn't available.  Don't worry, there are plenty of women out there that can give you the tingles.  ;) 

Offline fathertime

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Re: relationship timing puzzle and money... solvable?
« Reply #4 on: May 26, 2015, 10:25:56 AM »
Hi, I am posting this in the Russian ladies section because maybe one of you could offer a creative solution, given you know how women thinks.

I am in Ukraine, I recently met a Ukrainian girl through an agency.  In our first meeting we instantly clicked.  The mutual good feeling was very good and it felt very compatible, I think it must have been years since last time I feel this way with a girl.  I can feel that she is into me a lot too.

However, the timing is very bad.  It happens that she signed a contract to go on a cruise ship for the next 6 months.   


Hey Zengeek,


Actually I think the situation isn't bad at all.  If anything the situation forces you to be responsible, and that is a very good thing.  Based on what you have said, and assuming your correspondence goes well,  I think I would meet up with her from time to time when it can be arranged, in various places.  Why not?  You only live once, and it could be a unique/romantic form of courtship.  Of course it might be difficult for her to get a block of time off and where she can leave the cruise ship.  Maybe you can also take 1 cruise she is on...just a week or a few days off of work. 


I would DEFINITELY not try to pay her way, and deprive her of this good job she has obtained.  It is too early to make these types of commitments anyway.   


To me, this sounds like an adventure, not a dilemma.


Fathertime!   
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Offline nic80b

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Re: relationship timing puzzle and money... solvable?
« Reply #5 on: May 26, 2015, 03:56:02 PM »
Hi zengeek,
why don't you try a different approach?
according to you, the lady wants the job because she wants to travel? Because it's a job hard to get? Because this or that?
you get what i mean... why not try to find such occupation around you for her, or at least cruising not that far and not that long from your place? Maybe you could also smartly "suggest" nice jobs related with her aspirations, but closer from you?
in any case, paying her will never help, if she is a scam she wins, if she is genuine, it will be embarrassing for her to accept, and she may think you are trying to buy her like a good, so definitely not a good idea i think.
regards.

Offline LAman

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Re: relationship timing puzzle and money... solvable?
« Reply #6 on: May 26, 2015, 04:22:04 PM »
Isn't infatuation wonderful!!!!! :cluebat:

reminds me of:
« Last Edit: May 26, 2015, 04:28:29 PM by LAman »
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Offline jone

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Re: relationship timing puzzle and money... solvable?
« Reply #7 on: May 26, 2015, 04:56:06 PM »

I think if you care for this woman, you should let her do her thing.  She may love it or hate it.  In any case, this is something she has the opportunity to try out and she really should.  The last thing you want is for your relationship to fail and her missing out on that job.


I most definitely would not be following her around from country to country. 


If I were you, I would be looking for someone who is available right now.  This woman isn't available.  Don't worry, there are plenty of women out there that can give you the tingles.  ;)

What he said.  I get the tingles every time.  Especially in UA. :luv:
Kissing girls is a goodness.  It beats the hell out of card games.  - Robert Heinlein

Offline AC

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Re: relationship timing puzzle and money... solvable?
« Reply #8 on: May 26, 2015, 05:17:40 PM »
Hi zengeek,
why don't you try a different approach?
according to you, the lady wants the job because she wants to travel? Because it's a job hard to get? Because this or that?
you get what i mean... why not try to find such occupation around you for her, or at least cruising not that far and not that long from your place? Maybe you could also smartly "suggest" nice jobs related with her aspirations, but closer from you?
in any case, paying her will never help, if she is a scam she wins, if she is genuine, it will be embarrassing for her to accept, and she may think you are trying to buy her like a good, so definitely not a good idea i think.
regards.

I believe that the lady already signed a contract to work for the cruise ship company for six months.  So the only viable plan is the one offered by fathertime, and his plan for sure is the best.  Offering to pay the lady for some other plan is an insult to her.  6 months is really not that long of a time.

Offline southernX

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Re: relationship timing puzzle and money... solvable?
« Reply #9 on: May 26, 2015, 06:14:07 PM »

Hey Zengeek,


Actually I think the situation isn't bad at all.  If anything the situation forces you to be responsible, and that is a very good thing.  Based on what you have said, and assuming your correspondence goes well,  I think I would meet up with her from time to time when it can be arranged, in various places.  Why not?  You only live once, and it could be a unique/romantic form of courtship.  Of course it might be difficult for her to get a block of time off and where she can leave the cruise ship.  Maybe you can also take 1 cruise she is on...just a week or a few days off of work. 


I would DEFINITELY not try to pay her way, and deprive her of this good job she has obtained.  It is too early to make these types of commitments anyway.   


To me, this sounds like an adventure, not a dilemma.


Fathertime!   

with this i agree ,
why not make it an adventure ?? six months will fly by , if you have the ability to meet up with her for a day or two every 6-8weeks why not , inbetween as bo said, email and skype with her ,

if your gut instinct says there is something there with this lady, grab it , dont let go till your sure you have given it your best endeavour and it did not work

you will demonstrate your commitment , build trust and develop  the relationship  in that 6 months ,
so why not if you can ??   talk with her about it ,  get her feelings on it ?

you might be surprised lol

where is she going to be cruising with this company ?? how old are you both ?etc

SX
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Offline TagUrIt898

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Re: relationship timing puzzle and money... solvable?
« Reply #10 on: May 26, 2015, 09:31:22 PM »
Any pursuit of an FSUW will always be looked at with scrutiny and criticism, however I have to agree with some of our members statements earlier. Offering to pay her salary? It may sound noble, but it's actually a little insulting.  I get that the timing sucks, I hate that!  I know you don't wanna hear it, hell I don't even wanna say it, but I will. "Sometimes things happen for reason" and "If it was meant to be, it will be". Okay I'm done with cliche quotes. Following her, I dunno, it makes you look desperate and insecure. I'm not telling you not to try with this woman, but like everyone else said 6 months is NOT a long time. If you two have a genuine connection the time nor space will sever that.  If you feel this is too much for both of you, why not just revisit it when she's done.  That way neither of you are obligated, you might find that she isn't that best choice ornthat she is the one you really want.

Tag   

Offline zengeek

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Re: relationship timing puzzle and money... solvable?
« Reply #11 on: May 27, 2015, 12:41:56 AM »
hey guys,

thanks for the comments and advices!

I am going to meet her for a couple more days before she gets on the ship and cruises out. So let's see how these next couple days go.  If these couple days go well, I will try to find a way to have internet / voice communication with her maybe daily or every other day. Then, see whether it is possible to jump on her boat for a 1 or 2 week cruise somewhere in the next couple months, even though it's likely she will have little time for me because of her work...

I agree this mutual infatuation can be quite dangerous -- you never know how two people living together will be like after the infatuation dies off.

Thank you all for putting back some reasons and sensibilities into my infatuated head.

I am amazed by the outpour of excellent and sensible advices from you all, in such a short time.  This is amazing. Thanks very much!

Cheers, -zg

Offline Brasscasing

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Re: relationship timing puzzle and money... solvable?
« Reply #12 on: May 27, 2015, 07:29:54 AM »
hey guys,

thanks for the comments and advices!

I am going to meet her for a couple more days before she gets on the ship and cruises out. So let's see how these next couple days go.  If these couple days go well, I will try to find a way to have internet / voice communication with her maybe daily or every other day. Then, see whether it is possible to jump on her boat for a 1 or 2 week cruise somewhere in the next couple months, even though it's likely she will have little time for me because of her work...

I agree this mutual infatuation can be quite dangerous -- you never know how two people living together will be like after the infatuation dies off.

Thank you all for putting back some reasons and sensibilities into my infatuated head.

I am amazed by the outpour of excellent and sensible advices from you all, in such a short time.  This is amazing. Thanks very much!

Cheers, -zg

Bad idea. Most cruise lines have fraternizing policies that curtail this kind of activity and you're liable to get her in trouble.

Cruise ship crew work long hours and have little time off. You might be able to hook up with her at one of the ships port of calls but even then the crew is still working.

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Offline zengeek

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Re: relationship timing puzzle and money... solvable?
« Reply #13 on: May 27, 2015, 02:55:41 PM »
Hey Brasscasing you are exactly right.  I asked her about cruise ship policies today and this reminded her that such a policy does exist.  So we will have to figure something out.  Not easy at all.  It seems that once someone signs on as a cruise ship crew, basically there is little to no chance of romance for half a year :-/   -zg

Offline fathertime

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Re: relationship timing puzzle and money... solvable?
« Reply #14 on: May 27, 2015, 03:35:34 PM »
Hey Zengeek,


Here is a link to a thread within a discussion forum, much like this one, except it pertains strictly to cruises.  There are a  lot of pertinent comments.  Perhaps you will find it entertaining, if not enlightening.   It appears one of the big 'no-no's' is to bring the female staffer back to your cabin.   


http://boards.cruisecritic.com/showthread.php?t=248975


Good luck! 


Fathertime!   



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Offline ML

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Re: relationship timing puzzle and money... solvable?
« Reply #15 on: May 27, 2015, 08:46:56 PM »
Bad idea. Most cruise lines have fraternizing policies that curtail this kind of activity and you're liable to get her in trouble.

With one notable exception.

Some cruise lines actively recruit and give discounted passage to senior men who can and will dance.

They are encouraged to romance as many senior women as possible.

The biggest desire of many senior women on these cruises is to dance, dance, dance.
A beautiful woman is pleasant to look at, but it is easier to live with a pleasant acting one.

Offline BillyB

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Re: relationship timing puzzle and money... solvable?
« Reply #16 on: May 27, 2015, 09:38:45 PM »
  She might meet a fellow cruise ship worker and end up with him.



Sat on a plane next to a girl from Slovakia, who worked on a cruise ship and hooked up with a fellow cruise ship worker from India.


Why was Zengeek's lady open to a relationship knowing she's leaving for 6 months soon? If she really likes you Zengeek, the bond between you two will get stronger. If she was caught up in the moment of the first date and there wasn't any spark, you two will grow apart.
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Offline jone

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Re: relationship timing puzzle and money... solvable?
« Reply #17 on: May 28, 2015, 04:46:56 AM »
I recently met a girl through an agency ........

That is how this thread began.  I, for one, would be interested in knowing how the agency is compensated. 

That could be a key to knowing the motivations behind everyone.
Kissing girls is a goodness.  It beats the hell out of card games.  - Robert Heinlein

Offline PBRstreetg

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Re: relationship timing blah blah blah aka RWD good
« Reply #18 on: May 28, 2015, 06:53:16 AM »
OMG this forum is awesome!


With one notable exception.

Some cruise lines actively recruit and give discounted passage to senior men who can and will dance.

They are encouraged to romance as many senior women as possible.

The biggest desire of many senior women on these cruises is to dance, dance, dance.
Разрушить всегда легче, чем построить. Обидеть проще,чем простить. И врать всегда удобней , чем поверить. А оттолкнуть намного проще, чем любить

Offline LiveFromUkraine

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Re: relationship timing puzzle and money... solvable?
« Reply #19 on: May 28, 2015, 08:44:45 AM »
With one notable exception.

Some cruise lines actively recruit and give discounted passage to senior men who can and will dance.

They are encouraged to romance as many senior women as possible.

The biggest desire of many senior women on these cruises is to dance, dance, dance.


That reminded me of this story of a widow who actually lived on a cruise ship after her husband passed away.  It was nice to see her able to move on pass her husband's death to enjoy herself.  I see too many people lose themselves after their partner passes away.


http://www.usatoday.com/story/travel/cruises/2015/01/19/woman-pays-164k-per-year-to-live-on-luxury-cruise-ship/22030011/
« Last Edit: May 28, 2015, 08:48:38 AM by LiveFromUkraine »

Offline Patagonie

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Re: relationship timing puzzle and money... solvable?
« Reply #20 on: May 28, 2015, 12:57:12 PM »
Hi, I am posting this in the Russian ladies section because maybe one of you could offer a creative solution, given you know how women thinks.

I am in Ukraine, I recently met a Ukrainian girl through an agency.  In our first meeting we instantly clicked.  The mutual good feeling was very good and it felt very compatible, I think it must have been years since last time I feel this way with a girl.  I can feel that she is into me a lot too.

However, the timing is very bad.  It happens that she signed a contract to go on a cruise ship for the next 6 months.  We both said, multiple times, that we wish we had met a month earlier.  I have two more days to meet with her, and she definitely wants to meet with me again.  However, 2 days is definitely insufficient to start any type of relationship.

Cruise ships salaries are quite low. Six months of salary is an amount I am willing to give away just so that we can have more time to know each other.  I even suggested giving her this money, or "loaning" it to her.  Of course she refused, I am glad at least she is not offended.

From her perspective, this is a really good job, very difficult to get, a job that allows her to travel around the world a bit (but also work very hard, 11 hour days).  It is too risky to give up such a good job to try out a relationship with a man she just met, no matter how well the first meeting goes.  Even if such a relationship goes well, if later it sours she will become jobless again.  I can totally see her point of view.

I thought about buying a ticket for her cruise.  I am not able to do that because my job requires a fast internet connection (but can be anywhere in the world, just not on a cruise ship...)

I am willing to offer money to her (in a non-offensive way) just so that we can give this potential relationship a chance. So I am wondering if anyone can think of a way to solve this puzzle at all...

Cheers, -zg

PS. If the meetings in the next 2 days goes well, my next option would be to "chase her around the world" by co-ordinating with h
er about her cruise ship destinations.  I am in a lucky position where I can do that.  But this is sub-optimal because the time we can spend together will be very little, and we will always be losing momentum...

You instantly clicked, you, I have no doubt.

But please write here in RWD  ten 10 signs that clearly show that SHE clicked, may you do it ?

Men are always the samen they refuse the incertainty to try to secure their prey, with whatever they can, money, promises and so on.
More the prey is difficult to catch and more efforts they put in the endeavor.

It looks, as the other fellows told you here : insulting, insecure and immature (spend two weeks in a boat where she works for six months, if you want to screw up her job that's a good idea).

So what to do ?

Learn and practice emotionnal control, libido control, feelings control, verbal control.
If you know how to hide all this things and let her know in a classy and picky manner you will multiply love tenfold.
This type of massive seduction is likely to earn an Eastern European women  that's true, however at a moment, you  can instantly fall from love directly to the ice floe, without any warning, and you will never understand why.

Lets her chase you a little rather than to swim after a boat that cruises faster than you.

Remember : find 10 signs that she clicked on you, try to make this effort and let's know.

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Offline jone

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Re: relationship timing puzzle and money... solvable?
« Reply #21 on: May 28, 2015, 01:47:55 PM »
You instantly clicked, you, I have no doubt.

But please write here in RWD  ten 10 signs that clearly show that SHE clicked, may you do it ?

Men are always the samen they refuse the incertainty to try to secure their prey, with whatever they can, money, promises and so on.
More the prey is difficult to catch and more efforts they put in the endeavor.

It looks, as the other fellows told you here : insulting, insecure and immature (spend two weeks in a boat where she works for six months, if you want to screw up her job that's a good idea).

So what to do ?

Learn and practice emotionnal control, libido control, feelings control, verbal control.
If you know how to hide all this things and let her know in a classy and picky manner you will multiply love tenfold.
This type of massive seduction is likely to earn an Eastern European women  that's true, however at a moment, you  can instantly fall from love directly to the ice floe, without any warning, and you will never understand why.

Lets her chase you a little rather than to swim after a boat that cruises faster than you.

Remember : find 10 signs that she clicked on you, try to make this effort and let's know.

This is one smart man.  Listen to him.  I still would like to understand the relationship with the Agency.  It can be either very good or very bad. 
Kissing girls is a goodness.  It beats the hell out of card games.  - Robert Heinlein

 

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