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Author Topic: Myths and Truths  (Read 6369 times)

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Offline TwoBitBandit

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Myths and Truths
« on: January 26, 2007, 10:49:33 AM »
First, I'm going to admit it: I didn't write this.  It's from "best of Criagslist" at http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/van/152468438.html.  I read this a year or so ago on Craigstlist, and the memory of it popped back into my head after CaptB's thread "Are you ready?".  I didn't want to hijack his thread by copying this into it, so I've started a new thread.  When I read this the first time, I realized that I believed everything this guy had written.  I had thought about all these things before, but this was the first time I had seen all these ideas put together and eloquently expressed.

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Some rants and accumulated experience about women. Men in happy marriages or stable relationships don't need to read this; neither do men who get laid every week (or even every month). The "truth" I'm putting out here is for all of those men who, like me, worship women and can't figure out why they keep getting screwed over and dumped. The myths are things that I used to believe before I wised up.

MYTH: Women want love and affection. Women want to be treated well. If you treat a woman well, she'll treat you well.

TRUTH: Young women want whatever other young women want. They're herd creatures. If you lavish a woman with love and affection she'll think you're doing it because nobody else wants you (which may be true) and she'll dump you. In fact, if you do anything that betrays that you're a loser that other women won't touch, she'll dump you. Why? Because she wants to impress her friends with what a great catch she's made, and if she thinks that they wouldn't want you, then she doesn't want you either.

There are only three exceptions to this rule. The first exception is psychos, otherwise known as "witches, bitches, and crazy ladies." They'll stay with you because nobody else wants them, or because you're the only one who put up with their abuse. The second exception is women who like to "fix men up": those women who like to take "broken" men and turn them into the man they want. These women are single because a mature man will recognize that these women don't want him... they want to turn him into someone else. The third exception is that once in a long time you meet a woman who isn't psycho, still wants to stay with you when she finds out that you're not super stud, and doesn't want to change you into someone else. This is the one you marry.

BITTER MYTH: Women are out for money.

TRUTH: Women are out for status and fun or for security, depending upon their age. A few women are out for cold cash, but not too many. Status-seeking women aren't ready to settle down. They just wanna have fun, and they want their girlfriends to know it. They're looking for a guy they can dangle in front of their friends and say, "Look what I got!" You don't have to have money to be that guy, you just have to come across as desirable. Of course if you have money you don't need to do anything else, but having no money isn't the end of the world. The women who are out for security have had their wild fling and want to settle down. They want a guy who can provide a stable base for the future (and that includes finances).

All in all it's sort of like what guys do (and women whine about endlessly): when you're young you want some bright, bubbly thing with huge tits, a nice ass, and a trimmed bush who screams like a banshee in bed, although you'll settle for much less; when you're ready to get married you want a nice girl who isn't going to break your balls. They're usually different people unless you're very, very lucky. Young women want bad boys who will show them a good time. When they're ready to get married they want some guy who is going to be able to pay to keep them comfortable.

MYTH: Women are out for looks.

TRUTH: See above. Women are out for looks, after a fashion. A guy in good physical shape who wears decent-looking clothes is attractive because he looks after himself and probably isn't a wimp or a whiner. She can convince her friends that he's a "catch." A guy who looks and smells like a laundry bin, or who can't climb a few flights of stairs without a rest had better have some spectacular attribute to show off to her friends (like being a genius) or he's not worth her time. Any guy can compensate for lack of looks or lack of money with showmanship. He doesn't have to be a catch, just seem like one. All he has to do is make her friends think, "Damn, I wish I were going out with him instead of the loser I'm with."

MYTH: I should find one woman I like who likes me, and stick with her through thick and thin.

TRUTH: This is the biggest mistake I ever made. I used to be loyal to whomever I was with, even when someone better came along. All that happened was that I missed out on some great opportunities while I hung on with losers that ended up dumping me anyway. Do this if the two of you are getting married; once you've tied the knot it's a whole other can of worms. However, if you're just dating, do exactly the opposite. In very subtle ways you have to let her know that although you like her, there are lots of other women out there and you still notice them. Glance at tits and legs. Smile at and chat with pretty ladies, even while she's with you (you're just being friendly, of course). This is the most important thing I've learned about dating in a decade. I even thought of dating WASP bitches again, so long as I could keep this in mind. Never, never let her know that she's the only game in town. As soon as she believes that she's your "everything," she'll start whining and bitching and making demands.

Think of it like buying a car. If you let the salesman know that this is your dream car, that you've stayed awake nights thinking about buying exactly this car, do you think the price will go down? Of course not! He'll jack the price up as high as he thinks he can go and still have you buy it. If you tell your girl that you've dreamed all of your life of going out with someone like her, do you think she'll smile and kiss you and things will go on as before? Of course not! She'll realize that you'll put up with more of her bad habits, and that she can put up with fewer of yours, and the bitching will start. She'll try to make the relationship as comfortable for her as possible and still keep it going. Remember the car salesman? Remember the attitude that "this is a nice car, but there are hundreds of other great ones, including that one across the street", even as your heart is thumping and you're practically drooling? If you're just dating, this is the attitude to take.

MYTH: Having a girlfriend / fiancée / wife means being able to tell someone my problems.

TRUTH: Nobody gives a shit about your problems. Nobody ever will. I know that sounds harsh, but it's the reality of being a man. Want to tell people about your problems? Get a sex change. Or join a men's group; the flip side is that you have to listen to their problems, but it helps. I know of only two kinds of women who want to hear about your problems: ones with far more problems than you have, and ones who fancy themselves amateur psychiatrists and like "fixing" men. Neither is good company. Let's face it: many women spend all day whining to their friends about how awful their lives are and listening to their neurotic friends responding in kind. The last thing they want to do is go out with you and hear more of the same.

To make matters worse, women simply don't "get" many of men's problems. Women have problems with things that don't even bother us, but they expect us to be understanding or at least tolerant; we have problems with things that don't even bother them, and no amount of explaining will cause the light to go on or elicit any sympathy.

So why not just commit hara-kiri now? Because it's not that bad. You get over it. In particular, once you figure out how to handle women a lot of your problems seem smaller and more manageable.

MYTH: Having a girlfriend / fiancée / wife means someone will finally understand me.

TRUTH: Understanding—true understanding—takes decades. If you spend most of your time with the love of your life trying to explain yourself, she will have nothing but contempt for you, for two reasons. First, because she doesn't want to hear your whining (see above). Second, and more important, women want to maintain the self-delusion that they already understand men. Women everywhere claim that they understand men and that "men are simple creatures." The truth is that women haven't a clue where most men are coming from and furthermore they care only insofar as they want to control us. Nonetheless, they want to maintain the fiction that they have us figured out.

It's a pride and status thing. A woman who doesn't "understand" her man can't control him, and a woman who can't control her man is a loser. The more you try to explain yourself, the more complex and multi-dimensional you become (a.k.a. "difficult"), and the less she can claim to understand you.

Besides, most of the time you're explaining yourself to her you're really trying to figure yourself out. Go do it in a corner, hire a professional listener, or join a men's group. She doesn't want to hear it. If you master the art of keeping your problems to yourself she will complain bitterly about this. She will bitch and whine that you're not open enough and that she has to drag things out of you. She will also secretly love this. It gives her one more thing to complain about to her friends.

MYTH: If only I could meet the right woman, my life would have meaning.

TRUTH: If your life doesn't have meaning right now, when you're single, then a relationship isn't going to help. You'll pile too much baggage on top of the delicate emotional bonds too early, and the whole thing will collapse like a house of cards. Want to see this in action? Watch women: they do this all the time. In particular, women who whine about men who can't make a commitment are probably doing exactly this: looking to a man to make their life mean something. It doesn't work.

The only way to have a happy life is to develop one for yourself, then leave an opening for someone else to come and share it with you. Neither of these two things is easy. In particular, it's too easy once you've developed a life for yourself to end up with someone who was doing exactly what you were doing before—waiting for Prince Charming (or in your case Lady Love)—to come and rescue her life. People like this end up draining away all of that energy you've worked so hard to build up, leaving you exhausted and frustrated.

Take it from me: I waited for Lady Love for decades. Finally I gave up, got angry, got off my ass and tried to make a life for myself, and suddenly I was surrounded by women who wanted to date me. After a while I met someone who was very special to me and I married her. Now my life is about the same as before, but I have someone with whom to share it. As much as I prefer being with someone, I must tell you that having her with me doesn't make my life any more or less meaningful. I'm pretty much where I was before, only now I have company, which is nice.

[P.S.: After two years she turned into one of those people who was waiting for her life to mean something, and she drained away all of my good energy. Oh well. Some things just don't turn out as planned, no matter how hard you try. Rats.]

MYTH: If I treat a woman well and listen to what she says, she'll stop complaining

TRUTH: Women never stop complaining. For them, it's a sport. Some complain more than others, but none of them will ever stop, any more than one day men will stop discussing football. Men have built civilizations, created law, invented husbandry (that's keeping domestic animals by the way, not marriage; women invented marriage), built skyscrapers, invented cars, washing machines, antibiotics, toilets, computers, and microwave ovens, and generally dragged us out of caves and into condos. Don't kid yourself: men did it all. If it were up to women we'd still be living in caves and dying at 20. I know that men did it all because I know why they did it: they hoped that it would stop women complaining. It didn't.

If you listen to your girlfriend's bitching and try to make everything better, you'll suffer the same fate as all the men who came before: you'll run yourself ragged, and at the end of it all she'll still be bitching. If you ignore all but the most important complaints, she'll bitch about that, too, but you'll feel far better about your life.

MYTH: Men don't listen to women because men don't care about women.

TRUTH: Men ignore women because women normally have nothing worthwhile to say. This is not a condemnation of women, but rather a difference in what talking is for. This is one of the few areas where John Gray has something useful to say. Men mull things over, organize things in their heads, then speak. Men have to do this because they have to get things done, and if they blabbered all day long about nothing in particular then eventually other men would pay them no attention. Men talk to communicate ideas, negotiate compromises, and secure cooperation. Life and experience has taught men to be brief and pithy.

Women talk to organize their thoughts. It's the difference between doing the math problem in your head and writing the answer at the top of the page, and scribbling all over the page in order to arrive at the answer in the bottom corner. Women want men to listen to them. Women want men to follow along as they scribble all over the page, not just wait for the answer. Quite frankly, who cares? As I mentioned above, there are lots of things that women don't want to hear from men. If you want to talk about these things, you'll have to find some other men who want to listen, because she sure as hell won't. If she wants to attach her mouth to her brain and vocalize all of her mental processes then she should find someone who cares to listen, in other words another woman.

MYTH: She said she loves me. She must think I'm really special.

TRUTH: When women say, "I love you" it can mean almost anything. "I want to spend the rest of my life with you," "I'm desperate to get married and have babies and you're the best thing I've come across so far," "You're better than the last jerk I went out with," "You're the best guy I've come across this week," "All my girlfriends are in love and I want to be too," "I have a million problems and I want you to feel obliged to listen to them," "I want another date and I want you to feel like you have to ask me out again," "It's time I put my foot down and started controlling you," and any number of other things. OK, most women think they mean it when they say, "I love you." However, remember the old saying, "It's a woman's prerogative to change her mind"? She loves you this minute. Maybe today. Maybe this week. Maybe even this month. However, this says nothing about how she will feel next month, next week, or tomorrow.

One of the biggest problems men like me have is that when we say, "I love you" to a woman we want to really mean it. Like "I love you forever." Men don't understand that a woman can say, "I love you forever" and change her mind next week. All she does is convinces herself that in hindsight, and despite everything you've ever said or done, you never really loved her, so all the times she said, "I love you" didn't really count. You have to learn to use the same language. Go ahead and say, "I love you," but inside your head say, "I love you right now. Tomorrow may be a different story." When you break up and she screams that you said you loved her, tell her that you did, but she did this and that and now you don't love her any more. When women say, "I love you" they aren't promising eternal devotion, so why should you be? One day you'll meet a woman who says, "I love you" and it'll really hit home. You'll test her love a bit and it will hold up. That's the one you marry.

MYTH: Women understand relationships; men don't.

TRUTH: This myth is perpetuated by women, pussy-whipped men, and psychiatrists. If women truly understood relationships... that is, if they understood relationships with men... then we wouldn't have a 45% divorce rate. Maybe back in the pioneer days women understood relationships. These days, they have coffee with their girlfriends, talk about "men", examine and dissect relationships, study interpersonal dynamics, talk, talk, talk about what works and what doesn't, then go out and perfectly screw up their next relationship. I know. I've watched it happen from the sidelines.

Women spend more time analyzing relationships; they talk about them incessantly, and in doing so discover more truths than men know. However, all of this talk in a vacuum also means that their heads are filled with more bullshit and myth than are men's. The combination of superior insight and copious nonsense puts them right back where we are. Men tend to see what's going on in a relationship more clearly, but have no idea how to express what they see or what to do about it. Women would probably know what to do about it if they could only see it as it truly is, instead of through a fog of preconception.

The other big difference between the sexes is that women are absolutely certain that they know what is going on, whereas men make no such claim. The last man who claimed to have his own radical theories about relationships was Freud, and nobody pays any attention to him any more. It is women's ideas about relationships and why they do or don't work that have been imported lock, stock, and barrel into the field of psychiatry. Most male therapists you'll meet are basically honorary women with university degrees, and as such they don't really understand relationships either.

MYTH: Women are fairer and more even-handed than men

TRUTH: Nothing could be further from the truth. Traditionally men have favoured the same rules for everyone: "He who lives by the sword dies by the sword." Women on the other hand make up the rules as they go along. Although women's approach is patently unfair, it was valuable when they had to be the ones to point out that the rules needed to be changed, or that the rules should be bent in some cases. Back then they did this for the good of everyone. These days men still feel bound by rules, but women are in a conflict of interest. They still keep watch over the rules and break them as they always have, but now they modify and break the rules in their own favour.

Men's justice is often harsh, but it's fair. Women's justice is arbitrary and these days often self-serving. (Liberal "situational ethics" are essentially the same as women's ethics.) You'll find this out quickly in a relationship. The joke going around about "The Rules" and how women change them all the time isn't such a joke. It's a documentary. If you doubt this, think of it this way. A man caught breaking or bending the rules of good behaviour will become either defensive or repentant; his wife will beat him over the head with his transgression for months, if not years. A woman caught modifying the rules of good behaviour to suit herself will giggle and freely admit it. She thinks it's a game.

MYTH: Women do a lot for the relationship; men do a lot for themselves

TRUTH: My ex-girlfriend invented a little ditty that made her puff up with smug, self-satisfied pride. It went like this, "Women think of 'we'; men think of 'me'." OK, so e.e. cummings she wasn't. The point is that she actually believed this, and a lot of other women do, too. She thought that she was living and breathing our "relationship," while I was just kind of hanging around and taking up space. Meanwhile, I drove her everywhere (she couldn't drive), I spent hours making her gifts and writing her notes, and I spent hours thinking about what was going on with us and where we were going.

The truth of the matter is that women don't think of 'we' any more or less often than men do. Women think of their own needs most of the time, too. The difference is that women redefine their own needs as being those of "the relationship". For example, when a man needs to talk to his belle about something, he says, "I need to talk to you." When a woman needs to talk to her beau about something, she says, "We need to talk." Notice the difference? Suddenly what she needs becomes what we need. Women do this all the time, and then pout and whine that they work so hard at the relationship and you don't. In fact they're just playing with words.

The other truth is that there are two relationships: the one you're really in—the one that exists between you and her—and the one in her head. Remember how women are always talking and theorizing about "relationships"? Well, much of what she defines as "our relationship" is really just a collection of theories and prejudices from past conversations with her girlfriends, and has nothing to do with what's going on between the two of you. In that sense, even if she is doing more for "the relationship," it isn't necessarily anything that concerns her real relationship with you.

MYTH: Women are more involved in the relationship; men are more aloof.

TRUTH: Finally one that's true. The false part is the assumption that being deeply involved in the relationship is always a good thing, and that aloofness is fatal to relationships. If you doubt this, look around you and find a couple in which both people do little else but sit around with each other and talk, and watch how fast the relationship blows itself apart. Every relationship has to have a balance between looking inward and looking outward. Most women who complain that their men don't pay enough attention to "the relationship" aren't seeing the relationship clearly and/or are buried in "the relationship" up to their necks and so are creating more problems than they solve. Recently I was skimming a book by Dr. Laura and saw a chapter that gets this one right. Where is it written that when a man wants to go back to college and a woman wants to get married, and she gets angry that he's "not thinking of the relationship" that she's automatically right? Maybe the right thing to do at that moment is for both of them to go back to college for a couple of years. Women confuse obsessing about "the relationship" with healthy involvement, particularly considering that half the time they're seeing stuff that isn't even there. Sometimes your relationship needs more attention than you're giving it; other times she's smothering it. The assumption that more involvement equals more love simply isn't true.

MYTH: When she says no, she means no (so why am I so confused)?

TRUTH: Nobody means no every time they say "no." Think about it: do you? You've never said no when you were too shy to say yes? You've never said no because you were nervous, didn't know what you were getting into, and didn't really have time to think about your answer? You've never said no because you thought that was the right thing to do even though you really wanted to say yes? You've never said no and then changed your mind? You've never said no as a joke, just to get a rise out of someone, when you really meant yes?

I've done all of these things at one time or another; most men I know have, and most women I know have as well. However, for men there's a catch. If she's prone to saying no when she really means yes, then you should dump her. Immediately. Especially if she's told you in no uncertain terms "no" and then starts dropping huge hints that you're supposed to ignore this and go for it anyway. Dump the bitch. This is just far too dangerous. If you doubt this, imagine sitting in court, accused of rape. "Did she tell you no, Mr. Smith?" "Yeah, but afterward she tried to rip my pants off, then stripped naked and sat on my face!" "But did she say no, Mr. Smith?" "Umm... yes she did." "Case closed."

I once went out with a woman who told me, on our second date, that there was no way she would sleep with me, that her ex-boyfriend was coming to visit and that it would be "too complicated" if she were sleeping with me when he came to stay. On our third date she did everything to let me know that she wanted me, including lying on my bed, making comments about removing her clothes for a nude massage. Spooked, I drove her home, dropped her off, and never went out with her again. I consider it one of the smartest things I've done in my dating life. (Incidentally, apparently so does she. Every time I meet her she asks why I don't call her any more.)

MYTH: Women are social geniuses; all women get along well with each other, while men just fight

TRUTH: I lived in a mixed-sex dorm for two years in university where each floor was segregated by sex. It alternated: one floor men, one floor women, one floor men, etc. A few nearby residences were completely mixed. A couple of the men's floors looked much the worse for wear at the end of the year. You know, men are so destructive. The women's floors all looked perfect. All the girls were smiling and friendly. Talk to any of them, however, and they'd tell you that they hated living on an all-female floor, and every last damned one of them was moving to the mixed dorms the very next year, and not with each other. According to them, underneath the tidy rooms and smiles were claws and forked tongues. Every day was a quiet, mannerly, pitched social battle. The men, on the other hand, got along just fine with only a few exceptions. Most of us were quite happy where we were, the only complaint being that we didn't see the ladies enough.

One thing that is true along the lines of this myth is that any woman will defend another woman against a man, even a woman that she doesn't know. Start bad-mouthing women, even a particular woman that isn't known to "present company," and you'll find women defending her even though they have no idea what's going on. If anyone—a woman or another man—verbally attacks a man, other men will not jump in and defend him. Why? Men assume that other men can look after themselves and, after all, they're competition. Women assume that an attack on one woman is an attack on all women.

BITTER MYTH: Women are all the same.

TRUTH: Women are not all the same, and in particular women change with age. A woman who wouldn't give you a second look at 15 may be asking you out at 35. In part this is the dreaded "biological clock" at work, but in part it's also changing priorities. At 15 she wants to impress all of her friends with her "catch" and she is starting to learn to control men. She wants variety and excitement. At 25 she wants to have fun with no strings attached and wants to hone her controlling skills. She wants more stability but she doesn't want Ward Cleaver or Bill Gates. At 35 she realizes that the fun days are over and it's time to settle down and get serious.

Boring, nerdy guys who were dog meat at 15 can be studs at 35. The guys grow up and mature, they learn to need women less, and they settle into a life of resigned solitude, which means that they cheer up because they're no longer striving for something they can't have. The field narrows, and there are fewer single guys with no divorce history. Finally, her priorities have changed. She's no longer impressed by "bad boys" on motorcycles with a few convictions for petty crime. She knows that her friends aren't impressed by flashy, fast-living rogues any longer, any more than they're still impressed by fashions from Suzy Creamcheese. She's more interested in building a nest than impressing her friends anyway (and she knows that building a nest is what will impress them). So, just because you can't get anywhere now doesn't mean that your whole life will be a write-off. Take a clue from me: I never had a single date in high school. I had one girlfriend for a year in University. Ten years later I was beating women off with a stick.

Offline LEGAL

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Re: Myths and Truths
« Reply #1 on: January 26, 2007, 01:18:28 PM »
Let me to ask you,TwoBitBandit
Does your "scientific researches" concern to young girls or to all women irrespective of age?
Having looked through your "opus" I would tell, that you the adherent of philosophy of Schopenhauer (a sort of philosophical pessimism that saw life as being essentially evil, futile, and full of suffering)But your fabrications are at a level of household psychology of the person which has been offended by  women.
The cynicism is good in a medical practice and on war, but not comprehensible in interhuman relations. If to follow your ideas you start to understand the reason of unisex relations  and marriages.  :)
Excuse me for  straightforwardness of my statements.
I agree with some your ideas, but only these ideas have other psychological basis and cannot be directed to all human kinds of a female.
Your ideas -generalization will throw into confusion all men and even women.

Sincerely,
Olga

Offline William3rd

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Re: Myths and Truths
« Reply #2 on: January 26, 2007, 01:49:29 PM »
Just shows that women are very complex and men are, well, simple. . .

Offline Rvrwind

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Re: Myths and Truths
« Reply #3 on: January 26, 2007, 02:01:42 PM »
Quote
Just shows that women are very complex and men are, well, simple. . .
It alson illistrates as I have come to learn, that women don't listen, or in this case read. Olga accused Two Bit of writing this monologue when he clearly stated at the very beginning & I quote:
Quote
First, I'm going to admit it: I didn't write this.  It's from "best of Criagslist" at http://www.craigslist.org...t/best/van/152468438.html.

Sometimes truth is stranger than fiction ;)or maybe just truth.
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Offline LEGAL

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Re: Myths and Truths
« Reply #4 on: January 26, 2007, 02:43:34 PM »
Olga accused Two Bit of writing this monologue when he clearly stated at the very beginning & I quote:

Rvrwind,
I did not accuse Two Bit . I just don't agree with some positions in his post.

 Two Bit, don't take my words to heart  :)
If we talk about Russian women I'm sure the general conclusions of American psychology are inadmissible in direct ratio to Russians. It is two very different psychologies.

In that case, what does Two Bit think about his post?

Olga.




« Last Edit: January 26, 2007, 03:02:15 PM by LEGAL »

Offline Photo Guy

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Re: Myths and Truths
« Reply #5 on: January 26, 2007, 03:07:42 PM »
Both sections- 'truths' and 'myths' have huge holes in them, because
they are over-generalizations, in my opinion.

Offline Rvrwind

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Re: Myths and Truths
« Reply #6 on: January 26, 2007, 03:21:42 PM »
Quote
Rvrwind,
I did not accuse Two Bit .
Yes, you did:
Quote
Let me to ask you,TwoBitBandit
Does your "scientific researches" concern to young girls or to all women irrespective of age?
That looks very much to me as though you are inquiring of him to explain himself, when clearly he stated he did not write it.
Obviously from your follow up post, you did not intend it to mean that, but the way it is written in your first post is exactly that.
Sorry, but I calls them as I sees them.
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Offline LEGAL

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Re: Myths and Truths
« Reply #7 on: January 26, 2007, 03:31:22 PM »
Rvrwind,
You are right.
I apologize  :-[

TwoBitBandit,
if you have own opinion concerning your post I sincerely take my words back and I address them to  author of these ideas. But if you absolutely agree with the author I address my words to you  :)

Olga.
« Last Edit: January 26, 2007, 03:36:07 PM by LEGAL »

Offline Gator

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Re: Myths and Truths
« Reply #8 on: January 26, 2007, 04:13:42 PM »


Many of the "truths" seem obvious, and I question whether any man older than 30 would believe in the myth. 

Other "truths" are not obvious to me, and perhaps are true for some women, particularly younger women.   I think many of these questionable "truths" apply in the initial dating stages of a relationship when we are weeding out women without compassion, women who can not express their thoughts, women who complain, etc.

I did not read carefully every word, so I am probably missing something.

I did like his comment early in his list, "once in a long time you meet a woman who isn't psycho, still wants to stay with you when she finds out that you're not super stud, and doesn't want to change you into someone else. This is the one you marry."  There is much more to deciding whether to marry, yet this is a good start.

Offline TwoBitBandit

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Re: Myths and Truths
« Reply #9 on: January 26, 2007, 10:19:19 PM »
Quote
In that case, what does Two Bit think about his post? Olga.

Be careful what you ask for, because might get it.  :)

Quote
MYTH: Women want love and affection. If you treat a woman well, she'll treat you well.
TRUTH: Young women want whatever other young women want. [...]  There are only three exceptions to this rule. The first exception is psychos, otherwise known as "witches, bitches, and crazy ladies." They'll stay with you because nobody else wants them, or because you're the only one who put up with their abuse. The second exception is women who like to "fix men up": those women who like to take "broken" men and turn them into the man they want. These women are single because a mature man will recognize that these women don't want him... they want to turn him into someone else. The third exception is that once in a long time you meet a woman who isn't psycho, still wants to stay with you when she finds out that you're not super stud, and doesn't want to change you into someone else. This is the one you marry.

I agree with the author that "treating a woman well" often does not equate with "she'll treat you well".  This is especially true of young women, who are often capricious.  Some women will also try to change you.  As he has pointed out, this behavior various between women, and you want to find one who accepts you for who you are.

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BITTER MYTH: Women are out for money.
TRUTH: Women are out for status and fun or for security, depending upon their age. A few women are out for cold cash, but not too many. Status-seeking women aren't ready to settle down. They just wanna have fun, and they want their girlfriends to know it. [...] The women who are out for security have had their wild fling and want to settle down. They want a guy who can provide a stable base for the future (and that includes finances).

I agree with this in general, and I believe it also applies to the FSU.  (Although there are specific women for whom it does not apply at all.)  Despite the fact that women marry young in the FSU, most of the women I've dated below about 24 or so just aren't ready.  They just want to have fun.  They're happy to spend time with you.  If they think you’re a catch, they’ll show you off to your friends and try to make them jealous.

Most of the women in the FSU I've met are sincere (even if they don't know what they want out of life or marriage), but as this author points out, there's a few who are simply out for cold hard cash, and I've met a few of them.

Generally speaking, as women get older and smarter, they realize that being stable and honorable is more important than status.

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MYTH: Women are out for looks.
TRUTH: See above. Women are out for looks, after a fashion. A guy in good physical shape who wears decent-looking clothes is attractive because he looks after himself and probably isn't a wimp or a whiner. [...]

I think this is true, especially so in the FSU.  They like their men to be well-dressed.  You can get away with dressing more casually here in America than you can in the FSU.  Fashion is important, and being in shape is important.  Fortunately, many of the guys going to the FSU looking for wives are neither in shape nor have a clue about how to dress, so it's easy to stand out from the crowd.  Russian women tolerate whiners even less than American women.

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MYTH: I should find one woman I like who likes me, and stick with her through thick and thin.
TRUTH: This is the biggest mistake I ever made. I used to be loyal to whomever I was with, even when someone better came along.  All that happened was that I missed out on some great opportunities while I hung on with losers that ended up dumping me anyway. [...]  Never, never let her know that she's the only game in town. 

There's some truth here.  I believe that it's important to be loyal to someone, especially when you're married.  However, when you're dating, as soon as the woman realizes she has you under her thumb, you're dead meat.  You gotta be the man.

I no longer believe in “soul mates”.  It’s absolutely true that some people are more suited than others for one another, but there’s no “single soul mate” for each person.  I also believe that if you want to have a quality relationship, it’s more important to *be* the right person than to *find* the right person.

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MYTH: Having a girlfriend / fiancée / wife means being able to tell someone my problems.
TRUTH: Nobody gives a shit about your problems. Nobody ever will.

This is definitely true.  Being a man is about shutting the f*#@ and getting on with what needs to be done.  Nobody wants to hear a man whining.  This is especially true in the FSU; it is like going back fifty years in time there.

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MYTH: Having a girlfriend / fiancée / wife means someone will finally understand me.
TRUTH: Understanding—true understanding—takes decades.

This is one that I disagree with.  As a relationship matures, your understanding of each other deepens, but I don't think you need years and years to understand each other well. 

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MYTH: If only I could meet the right woman, my life would have meaning.
TRUTH: If your life doesn't have meaning right now, when you're single, then a relationship isn't going to help. You'll pile too much baggage on top of the delicate emotional bonds too early, and the whole thing will collapse like a house of cards.

This has some truth.  You need to be a separate person independent of your relationship.  You need to have your own interests, your own hobbies, your own passions.  If you happen to share those with someone, that's great.  But, you should do it for yourself.  You need to be a whole yourself before you can really appreciate another person.  If you're just sitting at home crying into your beer thinking you'd be better if you have a woman, you're wrong.  Sit at home and cry into your beer in that case.  Or get a life, and then get a woman.  But don't just get a woman.

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MYTH: If I treat a woman well and listen to what she says, she'll stop complaining
TRUTH: Women never stop complaining. [...]

There's a tone of bitterness in what the author is saying.  "Complaining" isn't quite the right word.  But, the content of what he says is right.  As a man, it is important to listen to a woman.  They go on and on about problems where the solution (from a man's perspective) is obvious.  But for them, the process of talking about problems is important.  You can't fix them, don't even try.  Just let them go on and one about whatever problem they're discussing without trying to solve it, and they'll love you for understanding them. (even if you don't understand them)


Quote
MYTH: Men don't listen to women because men don't care about women.
TRUTH: Men ignore women because women normally have nothing worthwhile to say. This is not a condemnation of women, but rather a difference in what talking is for. [...]

I disagree with the statement "Men ignore women because women normally have nothing worthwhile to say."  However, it's generally true that women and men tend to talk for different reasons.  Men tend to talk more to communicate facts, where women talk to connect.

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MYTH: She said she loves me. She must think I'm really special.
TRUTH: When women say, "I love you" it can mean almost anything. [...]

I mostly disagree with this.  However, there's a sliver in truth in that actions mean more than words.  The words "I love you" mean nothing if they're not backed up with consistent action and behavior.

Some men are often just as bad in this regard, using "I love you" as a cruel trick to score some muff.

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MYTH: Women understand relationships; men don't.
TRUTH: This myth is perpetuated by women, pussy-whipped men, and psychiatrists. If women truly understood relationships... that is, if they understood relationships with men...

I disagree with this.  I think that women are better at figuring out relationships.  This is part of the reason men are so shocked when a relationship comes to an abrupt end.  Women see it coming, men often do not.  Women are better at detecting subtle undercurrents in relationships and assessing the reasons for someone's behavior.

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MYTH: Women are fairer and more even-handed than men
TRUTH: Nothing could be further from the truth. Traditionally men have favoured the same rules for everyone: "He who lives by the sword dies by the sword." [...]  Men's justice is often harsh, but it's fair.

I agree with this.  Especially in the west, the influence of feminism has resulted in a softer and more "situational" sense of ethics.  Unlike some other "myths" in this article, I think this one is less true in the FSU.  In the FSU, life is harsher, and everyone is judged by harsher rules.  Just my impression...

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MYTH: Women do a lot for the relationship; men do a lot for themselves
TRUTH: My ex-girlfriend invented a little ditty that made her puff up with smug, self-satisfied pride. It went like this, "Women think of 'we'; men think of 'me'." OK, so e.e. cummings she wasn't. The point is that she actually believed this, and a lot of other women do, too. She thought that she was living and breathing our "relationship," while I was just kind of hanging around and taking up space. Meanwhile, I drove her everywhere (she couldn't drive), I spent hours making her gifts and writing her notes, and I spent hours thinking about what was going on with us and where we were going.

As I stated above, I believe that women are inherently better at figuring out relationships than men.  However, I haven't dated the women that this author's E.E. Cummings' wannabe, and I've never had a women boast that she does more for "the relationship" than I do.  Maybe if I ever meet this girl I'll change my mind, but for now I disagree with the author.

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MYTH: Women are more involved in the relationship; men are more aloof.
TRUTH: Finally one that's true. The false part is the assumption that being deeply involved in the relationship is always a good thing, and that aloofness is fatal to relationships.

I disagree.  It depends on the individuals involved.  Perhaps this author is speaking from his own experience.

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MYTH: When she says no, she means no (so why am I so confused)?
TRUTH: Nobody means no every time they say "no." Think about it: do you? You've never said no when you were too shy to say yes? You've never said no because you were nervous, didn't know what you were getting into, and didn't really have time to think about your answer? [...]

This is more true in the west than in the FSU.  FSU women give clearer signals.  There, no means no and  yes means yes.  There's not so much gray zone.  In many respects, the dating game there is easier to figure out because men are men and women are women.

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MYTH: Women are social geniuses; all women get along well with each other, while men just fight
TRUTH: I lived in a mixed-sex dorm for two years in university where each floor was segregated by sex. It alternated: one floor men, one floor women, one floor men, etc. A few nearby residences were completely mixed. A couple of the men's floors looked much the worse for wear at the end of the year. You know, men are so destructive. The women's floors all looked perfect. All the girls were smiling and friendly. Talk to any of them, however, and they'd tell you that they hated living on an all-female floor, and every last damned one of them was moving to the mixed dorms the very next year, and not with each other. According to them, underneath the tidy rooms and smiles were claws and forked tongues.[...]

I disagree.  Conflict is inherent to life.  I think that women and men handle conflict differently.  Men are more blunt and direct.  Women resolve conflict in a more subtle and manipulative way.  But both sexes have their own "protocols" for dealing with conflict.

He’s right that women are often catty.  The way they “fight” each other is often amusing.  

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BITTER MYTH: Women are all the same.
TRUTH: Women are not all the same, and in particular women change with age. A woman who wouldn't give you a second look at 15 may be asking you out at 35. In part this is the dreaded "biological clock" at work, but in part it's also changing priorities. [...]  Boring, nerdy guys who were dog meat at 15 can be studs at 35. The guys grow up and mature, they learn to need women less, and they settle into a life of resigned solitude, which means that they cheer up because they're no longer striving for something they can't have. [...] I had one girlfriend for a year in University. Ten years later I was beating women off with a stick.

It is definitely true that what women wants changes with her age.  I had better luck than the author in high school and at the university, but I wasn't particularly successful.  Now, at 35, I have my act together.  I dress better, I make well into six figures, I drive a Porsche.  (I used to have *two* Porsches, but that's a story for another day...)  If I told you my net worth, you'd think I was lying.  I speak pretty good Russian.  I've traveled to every continent except Australia and Antarctica.  I can hold up my end of the conversation on topics ranging from Renaissance art to literature to languages and culture.

I didn’t and will not impress any eighteen-year-old girls with my knowledge of Shakespeare or my style of dress.  But, a 35-year-old woman is a different story.  The tables have turned.  I know lots of my-clock-is-ticking-educated-35-year-old-good-looking-and-intelligent career girls that wouldn't have given me the time of day in high school.  Now, I won't give them the time of day, even though they're interested…. It’s just so funny how things turn around in life…  :)

Offline rickjames

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Re: Myths and Truths
« Reply #10 on: January 26, 2007, 11:03:03 PM »
 In my opinion, the recurring theme is "impressing someone". This is the only truth in it all. In our culture, most people live in fear of being called "lesser" or "inadequate". Women, men, children, whatever. It seems as if placing a thin veneer of success over yourself is the only way to survive, and it pretty much works. From what I've seen, women are more prone to this, but more and more dudes act like women nowadays, so I could stick my neck out and say a lot of people are like this.
  I'll use cars as an analogy; in the 60's the term "GT" meant more power. Today, "GT" means more plastic. Just last week, I was knocked a little because I didn't have heated seats. If I was weak, I would have bought a new car. Goes to show the trivial concerns of modern man.
  Secondly, I have never believed in the whole bad boy thing. About six years ago, I travelled 40 km/h onto a sidewalk, and opened up my car door on a previous girlfriend's ex-boyfriend, and hit him with it. I was called irresponsible, and an @$$hole. Not a bad boy.
 A real bad boy would never have a woman come near him, ever. He is violent, dangerous and a threat to human life. Also a threat to wannabe bad boys everywhere. He is most likely in jail.
 Nerds don't win either. Wanna know who wins?
 The scavenger in the designer shirt and the pointy Italian shoes.
 See, he waits until all other men have made their mistakes, and then moves in for the girls. He waits until he is seen as the better option. He visualizes, studies, then attacks.
 His friends see him as "the man" because he gets "the girl". Does he have honor? No. Is he a true hunter? No. Will he ever have a serious relationship? No. Does he drive a Jetta? Probably.
 Yet he has a full belly, eating off of the scraps of the predators. He has also never had his heart broken before, either.
 The question is, do you want to be this man, just for a woman?

 Never voice a complaint for small things.
 Distance is good sometimes....not saturation. McDonalds didn't make a billion dollars all at once, they sold a billion hamburgers a little at a time.
 When someone acts like a piece of crap for no reason, treat them like a piece of crap. You have nothing to lose.
 If the swimming pool is full of urine, get out and swim somewhere else.
 If you say you'll do it, do it.
 Girls can smell fear.
 There are exceptions to every rule. Try to find them.
 Don't let anyone get away with bulls--t. See it, call it, and destroy it. Maybe our culture would get better, no?
 
 Okay, so I'm rambling, even without a proper introduction for myself. Perhaps I may have even hijacked the thread, if so I am sorry. But without changing the post topic, I will say this:
 
 It's pretty bad, and it's getting worse, and it's all the slick tag-team work of cosmopolitan magazine and television. ;)

 It's better to get none, and be an honorable man, than to get none and be a pussy. Pick the most comfortable of the two evils, and the worst thing that could happen, is that one can feel better about oneself. The truth will always surface no matter what, better sooner than later.


 P.S. What is a good brand of shoe polish for pointy Italian leather?  ;)

Offline Rvrwind

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Re: Myths and Truths
« Reply #11 on: January 27, 2007, 12:38:02 AM »
Ola said:
Quote
If we talk about Russian women I'm sure the general conclusions of American psychology are inadmissible in direct ratio to Russians. It is two very different psychologies.
Have to agree with this statement, two different worlds.
I'll stop there because if I was to write what I think about psychologists & psychatrists, I'd have to go on a ten page rant! ;)
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Offline LEGAL

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Re: Myths and Truths
« Reply #12 on: January 27, 2007, 12:47:55 AM »
TwoBitBandit:
"I agree with the author that "treating a woman well" often does not equate with "she'll treat you well". This is especially true of young women, who are often capricious. They just want to have fun"



- If the woman is very capricious at young age possibly she remains capricious till an old age. Young women only start to get worldly wisdom  and to learn the secrets of dialogue with a man. A youth is not defect.
Dance while you are young and have fun  :).
I can understand, when the man of forty years searches for the "funny" young girl for  entertainment. But if he understands the  difference between  entertainment and  a serious relationship then I do not understand him.

TwoBitBandit:
"They like their men to be well-dressed".



- I like to be well - dressed. I like the  man, who is with me, to be well-dressed.
The great Russian writer Anton Chekhov said: Everything should be fine in the person - soul, ideas and clothes.

TwoBitBandit:
"TRUTH: Nobody gives a *snip* about your problems. Nobody ever will. This is definitely true. Nobody wants to hear a man whining".


- Everyone in his life gets what  he deserves.
If you are not able to understand an another's pain and another's problems, you  never will  find the person who will understand you and who will be your support.
To whimper is not  to speak about problems and to solve them.
I do not like to be whining . I do not like the whining people.
Whining  is an inactivity. Inactivity is a lack of mind.

You are young, TwoBitBandit, not silly, not poor  :).
You will find the your woman.
Only do not get features of the snob.
Sometimes the young girl is more clever than thirty men "burdened" with their own "worldly wisdom".

 Olga.

Offline TwoBitBandit

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Re: Myths and Truths
« Reply #13 on: January 27, 2007, 02:21:39 AM »
Quote
The great Russian writer Anton Chekhov said: Everything should be fine in the person - soul, ideas and clothes.

I've read some of his stories.  Some of the short ones, I've even read in Russian with some help from my Russian dictionary.  However, the poor old guy is rolling around in his grave right now over your misquotation.  You left out "face."  He said "В человеке должно быть все прекрасно: и лицо, и одежда, и душа, и мысли."  (Everything should be excellent in a person: his face, his clothes, his soul and his ideas.)

Quote
- Everyone in his life gets what  he deserves.
If you are not able to understand an another's pain and another's problems, you  never will  find the person who will understand you and who will be your support. To whimper is not  to speak about problems and to solve them.
I do not like to be whining . I do not like the whining people. Whining  is an inactivity. Inactivity is a lack of mind.

I think we are mostly in agreement.  There is a difference between whining and solving real problems.  A man should discuss his real concerns with his wife, and allow her to support him in times of need.  However, I still contend that it is the role of a man to accept womens' complaining and endure his own pain with a certain stoicism.  My Russian teacher told me that you have an expression in Russian for this: you say something like "Она хочет найти мужа, за кем она может стоит, как за каменей стенной."

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You are young, TwoBitBandit, not silly, not poor  :).  You will find the your woman. Only do not get features of the snob.

Thanks for your encouragement.  I'll keep that in mind.  If you knew me, a snob is the last thing you'd accuse me of being.  I'm just a cold S.O.B. who knows what he wants.

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Sometimes the young girl is more clever than thirty men "burdened" with their own "worldly wisdom". Olga.

Now we're back on the topic of "all women are different."  Some young girls are very clever, and some are... well... not clever...  As you say in Russian, "Они не хватают звёзды с неба!" :)

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Re: Myths and Truths
« Reply #14 on: January 27, 2007, 09:46:37 PM »
I've read some of his stories.  Some of the short ones, I've even read in Russian with some help from my Russian dictionary.  However, the poor old guy is rolling around in his grave right now over your misquotation.  You left out "face."  He said "В человеке должно быть все прекрасно: и лицо, и одежда, и душа, и мысли."  (Everything should be excellent in a person: his face, his clothes, his soul and his ideas.)

Not citing just "using" as an example Chekhov's expression I deliberately have missed the word- face.
We can consider beauty or excellent (but it is not word for this Chekhov's expression)  of the person' face from three positions - physical beauty, the well-groomed face, inward beauty or spiritual face.
What is important for you when you look at face? 

Thanks for your encouragement.  I'll keep that in mind.  If you knew me, a snob is the last thing you'd accuse me of being.  I'm just a cold S.O.B. who knows what he wants.
You are welcome  :) and I hope you are as intelligent man are not accused with my advice  :)

Now we're back on the topic of "all women are different."  Some young girls are very clever, and some are... well... not clever...  As you say in Russian, "Они не хватают звёзды с неба!" :)

"Они не хватают звёзды с неба!" .  "Хватать хвезды с неба" (To snatch the stars from the sky") is right.
Sense of this idiomatic expression:  to reach success and enviable position without hard works, without efforts.

This old expression has arisen in the official and bureaucrat environment, where some people were getting the grades and distinctions (crosses and awards - stars) working the hard way, and another  - easily and simply, as if
they were toadding to get the stars, and they snatched directly from the "sky" of their chiefs.
Now this expression is used ironically or playfully.

Olga.


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Re: Myths and Truths
« Reply #15 on: January 28, 2007, 09:39:49 AM »
From TwoBitBand
Now we're back on the topic of "all women are different."  Some young girls are very clever, and some are... well... not clever... 

TwoBitBand, the same is true about old “girls”.
When I look around I see there are much more clever men among older men than among young ones. Also I see there is the same number of clever women among young and old women.
That is why my opinion is – TO MEN usually age comes with wisdom together. TO WOMEN usually age comes alone.
And I think that is why it is a usual situation when men say:
From TwoBitBand
I know lots of my-clock-is-ticking-educated-35-year-old-good-looking-and-intelligent career girls that wouldn't have given me the time of day in high school.  Now, I won't give them the time of day, even though they're interested…. It’s just so funny how things turn around in life…


If you don't understand something, why the other person is the idiot?
~ A member of this forum.

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Re: Myths and Truths
« Reply #16 on: December 12, 2020, 06:28:26 AM »

Now we're back on the topic of "all women are different." 

FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Just kiss the girl, don't ask her first. Tolerate NO excuses!

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Re: Myths and Truths
« Reply #17 on: December 13, 2020, 03:58:33 PM »

MYTH: Women want love and affection. Women want to be treated well. If you treat a woman well, she'll treat you well.

TRUTH: Young women want whatever other young women want. They're herd creatures. If you lavish a woman with love and affection she'll think you're doing it because nobody else wants you (which may be true) and she'll dump you. In fact, if you do anything that betrays that you're a loser that other women won't touch, she'll dump you. Why? Because she wants to impress her friends with what a great catch she's made, and if she thinks that they wouldn't want you, then she doesn't want you either.

In my opinion, young women rarely have any idea what they want
and it changes with the wind. The best thing about growing older
was that eventually I didn't have to date them anymore. Young
women brains continue to grow and develop until they are 25
to 28 or so.

My analogy for dating twenty year olds is thus. Dating Twenty year
old girls is like baking bread for 15 minutes. It looks really nice on
the outside but the inside isn't finished yet. 

I never really experienced women not wanting me, and I only rarely
experienced the the herd mentality. It was mostly from the college
sorority crowd. I dated the cheerleaders and athletes and individuals
I treated the sorority scene as if they all had crabs.

FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Just kiss the girl, don't ask her first. Tolerate NO excuses!

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PUA, Theories, Myths and Truths
« Reply #18 on: December 17, 2020, 01:58:25 PM »
MYTH: Women want love and affection. Women want to be treated well.
If you treat a woman well, she'll treat you well.

This is a forum about Russian women. TwoBit got this stuff from somebody
who subscribed to the pickup artist (PUA) line of thought. The theory goes
that women want bad boys, so be a bad boy. The other part of the theory
goes that women crap on good guys, so don't be a good guy.

The theory is written for the 20-30 something USA bar scene. They want
to say that it works everywhere or it's universal, but it doesn't, it's not.

Once a FSU Good Girl reaches a certain age and or has a child.
99.9997499% of all single men she meets are bad boys and 75%
of the single girls are looking for .0002501% of the men who are
NOT bad boys. After a time, it's the men who are NOT bad boys
who are the rare sought after unicorns.

In the FSU the single good guys get married, and year by year by
year there are less and less available. When a FSU good girl gets
married to young to a guy who is too young, often times a few years
later they get divorced.

This girl is a good girl, but now she has a two year old boy or girl
and she is looked at like spoiled milk by the remaining FSU single
men.

After dating FSU bad boys for a few years (because that's all that's
left) guess what she really, really wants? She wants Love and affection,
she wants marriage and a family. She will treat you well if you treat her
well.

« Last Edit: December 17, 2020, 04:48:53 PM by 2tallbill »
FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Just kiss the girl, don't ask her first. Tolerate NO excuses!

Offline DCCowboy71

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Re: PUA, Theories, Myths and Truths
« Reply #19 on: December 17, 2020, 02:47:24 PM »
This is a forum about Russian women. TwoBit got this stuff from somebody
who subscribed to the pickup artist (PUA) line of thought. The theory goes
that women want bad boys, so be a bad boy. The other part of the theory
goes that women crap on good guys, so don't be a good guy.

The theory is written for the 20-30 something USA bar scene. They want
to say that it works everywhere or it's universal, but it doesn't, it's not.

Once a FSU Good Girl reaches a certain age and or has a child.
99.9997499% of all single men she meets are bad boys and 75%
of the single girls are looking for that .0002501% men who are
not bad boys.

In the FSU the single good guys get married, and year by year by
year there are less and less available. When a FSU good girl gets
married to young to a guy who is too young, often times a few years
later they get divorced.

This girl is a good girl, but now she has a two year old boy or girl
and she is looked at like spoiled milk by the remaining FSU single
men.

After dating FSU bad boys for a few years (because that's all that's
left) guess what she really, really wants? She wants Love and affection,
she wants marriage and a family. She will treat you well if you treat her
well.
Nice I like that. Hopefully I will be worthy.

Offline japtats

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Re: Myths and Truths
« Reply #20 on: December 17, 2020, 04:17:48 PM »
Not so much that under 25 year olds are not ready, girl i am with now is. I met few who were, But the fact that some women don't like you. My tattoo master is dating a girl , a hot one, who offers to take turns paying for meals, even though she earns very little, she is around 21. He was shocked, as i, usually women don't do this here, but if you are really what a woman wants, she will WANT YOU. If not, you attract a lot of women who are on the edge of whether they want you or not, and not know what they want.

Online 2tallbill

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Re: Myths and Truths
« Reply #21 on: December 17, 2020, 05:07:03 PM »
Not so much that under 25 year olds are not ready, girl i am with now is. I met few who were, But the fact that some women don't like you. My tattoo master is dating a girl , a hot one, who offers to take turns paying for meals, even though she earns very little, she is around 21. He was shocked, as i, usually women don't do this here, but if you are really what a woman wants, she will WANT YOU. If not, you attract a lot of women who are on the edge of whether they want you or not, and not know what they want.

Women are fully developed physically at a younger age than their
brain fully develops. When are they are they ready?
I guess the question is when are they ready for what?

Are 21 year old women fully ready to make irreversible life long
decisions? It's my opinion that they make better decisions when
they are older. They certainly might make the correct decision at
age 21 but they are more prone to make decisions based on
emotions than logic.

Luckily I never had to find out. 

FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Just kiss the girl, don't ask her first. Tolerate NO excuses!

Offline japtats

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Re: Myths and Truths
« Reply #22 on: December 18, 2020, 12:57:39 AM »
Women are fully developed physically at a younger age than their
brain fully develops. When are they are they ready?
I guess the question is when are they ready for what?

Are 21 year old women fully ready to make irreversible life long
decisions? It's my opinion that they make better decisions when
they are older. They certainly might make the correct decision at
age 21 but they are more prone to make decisions based on
emotions than logic.

Luckily I never had to find out.


I do agree there is a correlation, but i think it is more to do with two people being suited, having the right basics down first. It is different comparing a young woman looking to escape FSU, due to its financial problems, and is with a man far less attractive than herself, to two people who are attracted to each other, and looking to build a life with the RIGHT person. I mean we can debate all day, regarding the actual variables, i don't disagree with what you wrote, but at the same time i think there are maybe more than just brain development. Brain development didn't help Western men being cheated on by their FSU wives when they were in the West.
« Last Edit: December 18, 2020, 01:25:10 AM by japtats »

Online 2tallbill

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Myths and Truths
« Reply #23 on: December 19, 2020, 01:41:15 PM »

I do agree there is a correlation, but i think it is more to do with two people being suited, having the right basics down first. It is different comparing a young woman looking to escape FSU, due to its financial problems, and is with a man far less attractive than herself, to two people who are attracted to each other, and looking to build a life with the RIGHT person. I mean we can debate all day, regarding the actual variables, i don't disagree with what you wrote, but at the same time i think there are maybe more than just brain development. Brain development didn't help Western men being cheated on by their FSU wives when they were in the West.


You are a young guy, you are going to date young girls, it's the way of life.
I did the same when I was young. If I could have dated 25+ year old women
when I was 20 I sure as hell would have but they looked at me like a bag
of boners and testosterone with no life experience (they were right).

You have to find a good girl and then win the girls heart.

Will she change as she gets older? Yes, she will. Will she be closer to the
man she was in love with when she was 20? The answer isn't as clear.

My advice on this forum is primarily for men who are older. A 40 year old
chasing a twenty year old girl is barking up the wrong tree even if she
is truly interested in him.

FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Just kiss the girl, don't ask her first. Tolerate NO excuses!

 

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