women and work

[Michelangelo]

Our 3 years old study verses, how to sing song, dance,have sport activities and free of pay logopedist's care ( if there is need for it) Not too much to be against such "studying"

One more thought. All after all with all our working mothers Russian ( in general) have more close realationship with parents in adult ages Am I wrong?

Singing and dancing is not the type of "studing" I was referring to.  I like that.

Yes, you are right these FSU girls are closer to their mothers...but when a 30 year old is still that attached to her mother (living with her, obeying her advice, etc.), that is NOT a healthy thing.  I have know several such girls...

[mischief]

Elen, I honestly don't understand the purpose of these questions…

Since only few women participate on this board, do you try to address these questions to the guys?  Do you think that the husbands who don't care about their partners and what happen to her in case of a divorce (if there is any here) would listen to you and change their attitude?

It's more sense if you go to the boards for Russian women abroad and discuss their backup plan…

Since you asked Russian women on this board and you've heard the answer of a dostogirl I assume you're waiting for my answer???

I have stayed with my son for 13 months at home, it's hard, exhausting but it's fun. I'm raising a genius so I do my best to provide everything for his physical and intellectual development.  I'm planning to stay another year with him and than to go to real estate business.  Studying this area is what I am doing in my free time.  I've already got an education in economics and linguistics which will be helpful in this business.  And if I have enough time and energy I would like to get a degree in law in a couple of years..

I know many american women who looove to be a housewives… and I can't say they are not ambitious…everybody has their own goals in life and it's their right…

Besides here if you stay at home it doesn't mean you can't make money or get an education… and not having a regular job doesn't mean you are not independent… you can be an artist or photographer, organize social events, do charity or write a book…

Just get a perspective!

[Son of Clyde]

It all boils down to one thing. Choices. A single mom must work to support herself and her children. A married mom whose husband earns a good salary can choose to work or to stay home to raise her children. Maybe the best option (if it can be done) is a work a home job. When you think of it a child is young for just a few years and enters school. The early time is the time I worry for the child placed in daycare.

[TigerPaws]

Elen,
 
 Many Americans (myself included) have had very bad experiences with daycare, kindergarden and our school system as a whole. more and more parents are choosing to never allow their children attend a public school, they are home schoolng their children.
 
 This is not an easy task but one which has been proven to be far supreior for the children than any public education, this is the path we have choosen for our daughter as have millions of other Americans.

[Elen]

Elen, I honestly don't understand the purpose of these questions…

A propose is to understand how Russian women could trust foreigner males in such degree that they' re ready to move abroad into alient country where they for sure ( well in majority cases) would stay at home being to my mind in almost full dependence of their husbands.

So I ask how thing are there and what women themselves ( but not their husnabds) think about that as ther ARE some women here ( except me - my opinion is not value here as I'm not "right" Russian woman because I have not lived in America ) And I wanted that opinion of other women would be posted righ here as "husbands" didn't visit females' boards at all ( if judge by their posts at this board)

Something wrong with my questions?

PS 13 monthes are not such many I'd say I would want to see how "fun" it be to 36th Beside you are going to combine your role of mother with something else as I see. That's what I was speaking about too - find a way for compromises between roles

Yes, you are right these FSU girls are closer to their mothers...but when a 30 year old is still that attached to her mother (living with her, obeying her advice, etc.), that is NOT a healthy thing. I have know several such girls...

Such girls/boys exist everywhere As for living with mothers then it's not a mater of "obeying" but just economical issue - nothing more Such living condition just teach us to deal with old generation without "obeing" and without "rebeling" and scandals eighter

Singing and dancing is not the type of "studing" I was referring to. I like that.

You just CAN"T  teach 3 years old something else except what I mentioned - it's would be a complitely wasting of time, energy and nerves and nobody does that in kindergartens ( well may be some lessons of foreigner language for additional payment) So I just didn't get what you were about

[TigerPaws]

Elen,
 
 What I think you are failing to accept is that many women are unhappy with life in Russia and the opportunities presented there, that many of these same women are intelligent, beautiful and young. They are willing to seek out the possibility for a better lifer for themselves and their children, which is a risk but the options in Russia leave them little choice. These same women given the opportunity want to fulfill themselves as wife's and mothers to rise their children as they believe they should.
 
 You can not understand this because it is completely different than your way of looking at your world. and you have no common frame of reference with ladies such as my wife, who has been a wonderful and happy wife, homemaker for almost 6 years and now mother for 3-1/2 which if I am correct is longer than the 36 months you asked for.

[ronin308]

Tiger, the one big disadvantage to homeschooling is socialization, how will you be able to get your child to socialize with his peers and others?  I've seen this problem with many homeschooled children in the past. 

Of course if you do this while sailing the Carribbean, it's quite an experience.  I spent 6 months as a child down there and the exposure to different cultures, especially down island with various French, British and Dutch Islands is great.  Of course you also get people from all over because of the location.

Elen, I asked my fiance about this and the fact that at least initially she will be 100% dependant on me at least at first.  For someone from your part of the world you are going to have to sacrafice a lot of your indepedence at least at first.  I know this because I see it in reverse everytime I visit my fiance.

In most cases should a marriage fail, unless it does so early on most FSU women would be better adapted to going back to work than many of the women here.  Personally I feel that for at least the first 3 years one parent or the other needs to be with the child pretty much all the time.  After that as said before some degree of socialization through preschool is a good idea.  It leaves enough time that a part-time job can be undertook or studying for a career.

With the computer it's fairly easy to find work from home jobs that one could do, it's not a career but some sacrafices need to be made.

[TigerPaws]

ronin308,
 
 Really the socialization issue is way over stated, as far as our plans we will be leaving sometime in late June or July across the Atlantic in order to spend the Hurricane season in the Mediterranean, then return in November.
 
 We know a number of families who have been doing just what we are about to embark on for a number of years now, one such family can be found at http://www.tough.net/ohana/ 

[nana]

hi

how are you

[Bruno]

hi

how are you

Hi, who are you ?

 

[nana]

Hi

my name is nana i want to make friend with you

[START2]

Nana,

No offense but this is not an agency or dating site. If you're not married you definately need to post under a different thread but not here. I believe the question and a poll about having a meeting place for singles was addressed and nothing was determined. Good luck.

[nana]

hi

okay so we can make a friends

[nana]

Hi

how are you

[START2]

I guess you didn't get my point. I'm sure someone else can explain it to you. Paka.

[Bruno]

Hi

how are you

Dan, have you a "Aliona" script running on these board ? The level of reply from "nana" is very similar to the chat woman "Aliona"...

Very disturbing in the forum...

 

[Admin]

Hi

how are you

Dan, have you a "Aliona" script running on these board ? The level of reply from "nana" is very similar to the chat woman "Aliona"...

Very disturbing in the forum...[/quote]

Nope - no 'bots' infiltrating the forum.

I agree, these comments from 'nana' seem a bit strange to me as well.

Please send me a PM if you see things get too weird.

- Dan

[2tallbill]

Some interesting discussions of years ago.

I thought some might want to revisit the subject and offer insights

[ML]

My UW wife has been here 10 + years now.
She insisted from day one that she would have a working career.
We even had some rough periods about that.
After she achieved her masters in math, she was teaching as an adjunct here at the same University.
As such, her pay was pathetic and her assignments were not always very agreeable and convenient.
I told her she should either:
1) quit work altogether
2) take a job in another field
3) get a PhD so she would not be treated as a second class academic

She rejected all three, but then later (after some tense marital times) she began to pursue 3.

Now she is within grasp of the PhD, but doesn't want to do the research that would be necessary to keep a full time, well paying job as professor.

Saying that she might just want to be a housewife . . . which she is very good at . . . and what I would have preferred 5 years and 10,000 headaches ago.

But who knows ? !

[2tallbill]

Now she is within grasp of the PhD, but doesn't want to do the research that
would be necessary to keep a full time, well paying job as professor.

Saying that she might just want to be a housewife . . . which she is very good
at . . . and what I would have preferred 5 years and 10,000 headaches ago.

But who knows ? !

Maybe she's just a little burned out?

[Trenchcoat]

3) get a PhD so she would not be treated as a second class academic

She rejected all three, but then later (after some tense marital times) she began to pursue 3.

Now she is within grasp of the PhD, but doesn't want to do the research that would be necessary to keep a full time, well paying job as professor.

Saying that she might just want to be a housewife . . . which she is very good at . . . and what I would have preferred 5 years and 10,000 headaches ago.

But who knows ? !

Does that mean that she has to continue doing research to keep her job as a Professor? Or just do it while she does her PhD then drop doing research after she has got her PhD but still do the Professor job?

I've kind of done a lot of Uni myself, different courses and courses on all sorts in general. I have a Master's in History but didn't want to go any further with it as at the time I was in my mid twenties and wanted to get out and experience life sine more plus while I enjoyed History I wasn't that great a writer. In general though I kind of know what it's like to just be stuck at studying all the time, it can get to be a real drag and consumes a lot of time just stuck at the desk which gets to be no joy.

To be honest I think I did too much study/courses, they consumed a lot of time and payoff was not great. Time over again I think I would prefer just to go out to work, get the money in and put it towards stuff that would make me further money. Studying can have it's enjoyable normally bat the beginning of a new project but it can drag after a while and not be a good payer I find.