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Author Topic: My Happy Marriage turned into My worse nightmare!!  (Read 7893 times)

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Offline CC9273

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My Happy Marriage turned into My worse nightmare!!
« on: May 22, 2015, 07:13:42 PM »
I am a longtime member but have not been on here for a while. Not to mention what I have been through has been very hard. I have lost over 60 pounds over what had happened and I was a weight lifter. I actually do not remember my password, but after consideration I thought it would be best to post this with a new name to avoid any more pain for others.

I have been married for 7 years. Everything was perfect until I dropped my wife off at the airport to go visit family.
My wife visited her family once a year. We still stayed in contact everyday when she was gone. This trip started no different. For the first couple of weeks we talked daily, then I did not hear from her at all. I was worried for a while and tried to reach her with no luck. After a while I received an email from her where she said she was not coming back. She felt she was not living her life here.
It shocked me and I did not know what to do. All I could do was try to understand. Divorce was not mentioned however so I figured I would give it time and everything would be OK.

A couple of months later the word Divorce came up. I did not even want to think about it and my mind could not comprehend what had happened. We were very happy. Just before she left we were even talking about having a baby. None of this made any sense.

We talked about the year wait period before a divorce could be filed. I was hoping during the year that she would change her mind. I held onto hope.

The months went by and this was the hardest time of my life. I tried to write to her every now and then with no reply.
One day I got an email from her best friend that just destroyed my life.

My wife was raped. She felt dirty and ashamed and that I would never want to touch her again. She was traumatized from it and was not talking to anyone. She did not even realize the changes in her own body to know she had become pregnant from it. By the time she knew it was to late to do anything about it and reason she then asked for a divorce.
My wife was also being threated by the bastard who had done it. Her family had to send her away to be safe. My wife was 6 months pregnant when I found out. My whole world just collapsed.
I tried to be there for her. She was all alone having a baby. I did find her and went to her. At this time she was just over 8 months. I was a man who stood in front of his wife 8 months pregnant with another mans child.
I barely could even recognize her. I see what it had done to her. The stress, pain and everything she had been through. She was no longer the Woman I remembered.
No mattered how hard I tried she pushed me away because she did not want me to deal with it. She kept saying one day I would move on. She did not want me to suffer. To see a child that was not mine.
I tried to be there and I told her we will raise this child and I would love it as my own. I do not blame her and the child is innocent. She only wanted me to move on and be happy.
Today the child is just over a month old. She is all lone with no help. She does not drive, cannot work, and has no help. She is insisting on the divorce for my sake. I had to file but I am hoping to stop it before it goes through.
I do not know what to do and she will not understand walking away will not make this go away for me.
My whole life has turned into a complete and total nightmare. I have not slept a decent night since, I do not eat, and I break down and cry everyday.
How could one person destroy a family in just a brief moment? How he destroyed the beautiful Woman I had the honor to wake up to every morning? I will never understand any of this and I do not know what to do.
All I want is my family back.
I do not know how to get through to her at all. I am just lost.

Offline HiTech

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Re: My Happy Marriage turned into My worse nightmare!!
« Reply #1 on: May 22, 2015, 07:27:27 PM »
Bs meter just. Peged
« Last Edit: May 22, 2015, 07:50:20 PM by HiTech »
If you like aviation check out http://www.flyaceshigh.com

Offline jone

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Re: My Happy Marriage turned into My worse nightmare!!
« Reply #2 on: May 22, 2015, 07:56:06 PM »
Surreal. 

Seems to me that the story is great on infamy and lacking any specifics.

I'm sorry, I just don't believe it. 
Kissing girls is a goodness.  It beats the hell out of card games.  - Robert Heinlein

Offline STaty

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Re: My Happy Marriage turned into My worse nightmare!!
« Reply #3 on: May 22, 2015, 08:29:54 PM »
Hi cc9273!
If the man loves the woman, he will love also her child (not very important who the real father). If the woman now in a difficult life situation she does not file for divorce with the husband. She needs his help. If the husband and the wife support each other they will cope with difficulties. In your history there is a lot of unclear....
Actions speak louder than words

Offline Boethius

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Re: My Happy Marriage turned into My worse nightmare!!
« Reply #4 on: May 22, 2015, 08:31:44 PM »
Let's assume it is true.


If it is, the odds of becoming pregnant from a rape are quite high.   


http://yourfertility.org.au/for-women/timing-and-conception


Given the fact the "morning after" pill is available in Russia, and most women would know about it, the chance of a full term pregnancy in such circumstances would be highly unusual, absent religious reasons, which would not appear to be the case for a woman who was married but remained childless for seven years.
After the fall of communism, the biggest mistake Boris Yeltsin's regime made was not to disband the KGB altogether. Instead it changed its name to the FSB and, to many observers, morphed into a gangster organisation, eventually headed by master criminal Vladimir Putin. - Gerard Batten

Offline sleepycat

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Re: My Happy Marriage turned into My worse nightmare!!
« Reply #5 on: May 22, 2015, 09:07:42 PM »
Let's assume it is true...

The OP could seek revenge on the rapist by hiring some Mafia guys to castrate that jerk.
Will a payment of 7K get a job like this done in the FSU?

Offline Boethius

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Re: My Happy Marriage turned into My worse nightmare!!
« Reply #6 on: May 24, 2015, 02:47:04 PM »
sleepy, how would killing a rapist change anything?
 
I am going to clarify that I believe the OP is real, and I believe the story he posted is as he has been told.  I believe he is going through emotional turmoil.  However, I don't believe the wife's explanation.   I think she just wanted a different life, that's all. 
 
I think it would be better for the OP if he did not focus on the "rapist" because it is unlikely the man who impregnated his wife did ruin their lives, or their marriage.   
 
 
 
 
« Last Edit: May 24, 2015, 08:20:23 PM by Boethius »
After the fall of communism, the biggest mistake Boris Yeltsin's regime made was not to disband the KGB altogether. Instead it changed its name to the FSB and, to many observers, morphed into a gangster organisation, eventually headed by master criminal Vladimir Putin. - Gerard Batten

Offline calmissile

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Re: My Happy Marriage turned into My worse nightmare!!
« Reply #7 on: May 24, 2015, 03:25:38 PM »
Boe, If this story is true, I would agree with your conclusions.  It is a very tragic  story and I can relate to the impact it has on a husband/father.  Until we know if the story is true or not, there is no sense speculating on the details, cause, etc.

I am very suspicious of the post being a fake.

1.  Even in the worst moments of my first divorce, I would have had no problem providing enough details to verify who I am.

2.  The previous member and unable to find my password aspect is fishy.  Even if this were the case, he could have given his previous username or some other identifying feature.  If he was willing to post this story, he would not have been in a state of mind to avoid identifying himself.

3.  The credibility of his story has been challenged in the responses.  If he is looking for help, he would have returned to clear up the identity issue.

I know your heart is in the right place, but fear that it has been sucked into a fabricated story.  We are in agreement that this truly would be a tragic incident and if true, the man could use some serious therapy to help him through these troubling times.  Someone seeking help can't get it from here without providing enough data to contact them.
Doug (Calmissile)

Offline Boethius

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Re: My Happy Marriage turned into My worse nightmare!!
« Reply #8 on: May 24, 2015, 03:32:29 PM »
I think I know who this poster is from the past, which is why I don't think the story is fake.
 
If the poster no longer has access to the email he registered with, he can't recover a lost password. 
 
This should be a tale of how even after you think you know someone, you don't.  I think to achieve the level of intimacy to really know your partner requires something that a great many, perhaps a majority, of marriages don't have.
After the fall of communism, the biggest mistake Boris Yeltsin's regime made was not to disband the KGB altogether. Instead it changed its name to the FSB and, to many observers, morphed into a gangster organisation, eventually headed by master criminal Vladimir Putin. - Gerard Batten

Offline calmissile

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Re: My Happy Marriage turned into My worse nightmare!!
« Reply #9 on: May 24, 2015, 04:18:03 PM »
I think I know who this poster is from the past, which is why I don't think the story is fake.
 
If the poster no longer has access to the email he registered with, he can't recover a lost password. 
 
This should be a tale of how even after you think you know someone, you don't.  I think to achieve the level of intimacy to really know your partner requires something that a great many, perhaps a majority, of marriages don't have.

Have to agree with you on this.

I would think if you sent him a PM on his current account, you could verify if he is who you think he is.  If the story is true, he is in need of serious treatment for depression.  Been there, done that, many years ago during my first divorce.
Doug (Calmissile)

Offline fathertime

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Re: My Happy Marriage turned into My worse nightmare!!
« Reply #10 on: May 24, 2015, 04:22:26 PM »


I am very suspicious of the post being a fake.

Doesn't matter if his story is fake or real, and it isn't important if the poster states his previous username if he doesn't want to....it denotes a potentially real scenario, and didn't include any stealth attacks or obvious agenda. 
[/size]
[/size]Fathertime!
« Last Edit: May 24, 2015, 04:38:51 PM by fathertime »
I just happened to be browsing about the internet....

Offline Brasscasing

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Re: My Happy Marriage turned into My worse nightmare!!
« Reply #11 on: May 24, 2015, 04:39:22 PM »
Doesn't matter if his story is fake or real, and it isn't important if the poster states his previous username if he doesn't want to....it denotes a potentially real scenario, and didn't include any stealth attacks or obvious agenda. 
[/size]
[/size]Fathertime! 

Hey FT, next time you just happen to be browsing about the internet....." browse 'How to change font size', will ya? >:(

Brass

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Offline Patagonie

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Re: My Happy Marriage turned into My worse nightmare!!
« Reply #12 on: May 24, 2015, 04:40:51 PM »
In this story
what is surreal
is that this man seems to live not on the earth but on the moon and need few months to return on the earth.
We know how communications between the moon and the earth are difficult.

But let me tell you something:
f tomorrow my wife don't give me any news while being in her country i think that i can call minimum five people in the minute and i can find twice more quite quickly. With the help of at least two interpreters (just in Ukraine, because i know also few people speaking russian here)  i know i can make a three calls to any russian/ukranian people, administration, company to extract the truth in the next days, maximum in the month.

In few days i could be in the plane (yes it's easier for me because i live in Europe) to meet her and as i know her city very well  i doubt that i couldn't find her quite quicky.


I have just a question: when EXACTLY did she get pregnant?


Take care of you and find all the necessary support.
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Offline southernX

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Re: My Happy Marriage turned into My worse nightmare!!
« Reply #13 on: May 24, 2015, 06:46:52 PM »
so ?
if we assume it is true , ?

my thoughts are ,

 after seven years , your marriage does not seem intimate enough in the sharing of trust between you ? for your wife to decide such choices are for the ''best '' for either of you

 your wife it seems regularly goes home without you ??  why ?& where is home exactly ?

why did you have to divorce her ?? 

lastly , what is you age gap ?  jc ??


while your story is  plausible,it doesnt add up honestly

SX
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Offline ML

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Re: My Happy Marriage turned into My worse nightmare!!
« Reply #14 on: May 24, 2015, 07:19:21 PM »
As the FSU folk are prone to say:  It's not my fault.
A beautiful woman is pleasant to look at, but it is easier to live with a pleasant acting one.

Offline BillyB

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Re: My Happy Marriage turned into My worse nightmare!!
« Reply #15 on: May 24, 2015, 11:45:10 PM »
I am just lost.



I guess you're banned too. Your name is in pink.
Fund the audits, spread the word and educate people, write your politicians and other elected officials. Stay active in the fight to save our country. Over 220 generals and admirals say we are in a fight for our survival like no other time since 1776.

Offline nic80b

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Re: My Happy Marriage turned into My worse nightmare!!
« Reply #16 on: May 27, 2015, 11:54:23 AM »

Doesn't matter if his story is fake or real, and it isn't important if the poster states his previous username if he doesn't want to....it denotes a potentially real scenario, and didn't include any stealth attacks or obvious agenda. 
[/size]
[/size]Fathertime!

this case (which could be real, no doubt), is a real nightmare no one would be comfortable with.
but on another hand, it could just be some active fsu feminists who try to spread dishonor and shame on the forum:
- woman ASKING for divorce.
- because she wants to PRESERVE her husband.
- husband is alleged not to be able to ACCEPT the new baby.
- husband does not react PROMPTLY.
- husband does not MAKE A MOVE for monthes.
- husband still, after facing the truth, does not know how to HANDLE IT.
- finally, husband asking, begging for HELP on the forum...

as everybody knows, guys here are wankers without any self-esteem, and they are bad fathers.....

Just my thoughts, i know i can see the baddest almost everywhere, so please do not be offended.

Offline nic80b

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Re: My Happy Marriage turned into My worse nightmare!!
« Reply #17 on: May 27, 2015, 11:57:15 AM »
sleepy, how would killing a rapist change anything?

Same as the "day after pill", just remove any traces and feel better for a therapy...

Offline xiphoid

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Re: My Happy Marriage turned into My worse nightmare!!
« Reply #18 on: June 08, 2015, 10:28:15 PM »
I wonder that CC9273 does not respond. . .
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Offline RoboCop

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Re: My Happy Marriage turned into My worse nightmare!!
« Reply #19 on: June 22, 2015, 01:46:51 PM »
Well, my BS meter went off when reading this. I think this poster has some sort of distorted and unhealthy personality compelling him to seek a reaction from people online.

If she was systematically raped day in and day out for months, or was having an affair involving regular unprotected sex, then yeah, it'll sound a bit more plausible.

Me and my wife are at a healthy, fertile age, and it took us 3 months for her to conceive our first child; our second child took close to 6 months!

If your "wife" got pregnant that easily and you've been married for 7 years, either A) you are really good at pulling out on time; B) firing blanks; or C) this is all BS. I'm going with C.
Married 3 years now, with a 2 year old son. Wife is from Baku, the capital of Azerbaijan.

Offline Boethius

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Re: My Happy Marriage turned into My worse nightmare!!
« Reply #20 on: June 22, 2015, 03:15:49 PM »
1.  He is a long term member, I know who he is.  He is not here to seek a reaction.


2.  Women can indeed become pregnant from rape, it is known to happen.


3.  Women can indeed conceive easily.  I became pregnant the very first month in which we decided to have a child. 


After the fall of communism, the biggest mistake Boris Yeltsin's regime made was not to disband the KGB altogether. Instead it changed its name to the FSB and, to many observers, morphed into a gangster organisation, eventually headed by master criminal Vladimir Putin. - Gerard Batten

Offline RoboCop

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Re: My Happy Marriage turned into My worse nightmare!!
« Reply #21 on: June 22, 2015, 05:54:53 PM »
1.  He is a long term member, I know who he is.  He is not here to seek a reaction.


2.  Women can indeed become pregnant from rape, it is known to happen.


3.  Women can indeed conceive easily.  I became pregnant the very first month in which we decided to have a child.

1: He is a long-term member, so what? Have you met him in person and can substantiate what he's saying? There are a lot of guys I chat with on this forum via PM, and for all I know what they tell me could be a bunch of lies and they're nothing but a bunch of fat old guys with severe erectile dysfunction.

2: Of course it is known to happen. I didn't say it was impossible. What I am saying is the likelihood of someone getting pregnant from having sex with someone once is unlikely. Ask any medical doctor about this and I'm sure they'd confirm this.

Combine this with the paucity of details, and the clusters of behaviors that just don't add up (wife getting pregnant that quickly; her not wanting to be with husband; him consenting to a divorce; her refusal to abort or take the morning after pill), I'm going to call this a work of fiction.

Call me insensitive if you want. That's just a label I'll have to accept.
Married 3 years now, with a 2 year old son. Wife is from Baku, the capital of Azerbaijan.

Offline Boethius

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Re: My Happy Marriage turned into My worse nightmare!!
« Reply #22 on: June 22, 2015, 09:41:53 PM »
1: He is a long-term member, so what? Have you met him in person and can substantiate what he's saying? There are a lot of guys I chat with on this forum via PM, and for all I know what they tell me could be a bunch of lies and they're nothing but a bunch of fat old guys with severe erectile dysfunction.

His posting style is not one which supports your allegations.  That is all.  Whether what he says can be substantiated or not is irrelevant to that.


I have seen things, that if I posted, would never be believed.  It doesn't mean they didn't happen.


Quote
2: Of course it is known to happen. I didn't say it was impossible. What I am saying is the likelihood of someone getting pregnant from having sex with someone once is unlikely. Ask any medical doctor about this and I'm sure they'd confirm this.

I posted that as well.  But the point is, it is not impossible.  It could be that this is what he has been told and, even if not true, he chooses to believe it.  Or, it could be true.

Quote
Combine this with the paucity of details, and the clusters of behaviors that just don't add up (wife getting pregnant that quickly; her not wanting to be with husband; him consenting to a divorce; her refusal to abort or take the morning after pill), I'm going to call this a work of fiction.

Call me insensitive if you want. That's just a label I'll have to accept.

Rape victims react to things differently.  It is a major traumatic event. 

If a FSUW has returned to her home country and wants a divorce, what is her husband supposed to do?  Divorce is a right.  After a year, she can obtain a divorce whether he consents or not.   His post was a cry of pain.  Whether it is true or not, his wife has decided to leave him.


After the fall of communism, the biggest mistake Boris Yeltsin's regime made was not to disband the KGB altogether. Instead it changed its name to the FSB and, to many observers, morphed into a gangster organisation, eventually headed by master criminal Vladimir Putin. - Gerard Batten

Offline Slumba

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Re: My Happy Marriage turned into My worse nightmare!!
« Reply #23 on: June 22, 2015, 10:52:01 PM »
My view is that she got into a relationship with a guy while there, and is claiming rape after the fact. 

Maybe her new guy beats her, or he dumped her after it was too late to terminate the pregnancy, or she feels intensely guilty over it and realizes how she screwed up.

Since the poster in question never returned to answer, all we have is speculation.
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