Trench suggesting he'll 'adapt' to win a lady ...? :ROFL:
If you spent half the time you waste 'theorising' into improving your attitude to women, in general... a woman might choose you - for your character ?....
@Trenchcoat You need to find a woman with compatible attributes and interests, rather than scoring them out of 10! Just think in terms of a 2 circle Venn Diagram. and determine your areas of intersection. It is not rocket science!
+1...if he is already making excuses for not having enough time, then it won't last.
This is a guy who works the least hours he can possibly get away with and spends most of his time on here. How do the rest of us get by?
If at 40 these are not things you do regularly, it’s not likely you will in the future. So she is probably not the woman for you.
This post was composed without the aid of google.
Reminds me of a couple I met in Phoenix some 20+ years ago. He was the typical American dude with money and she was arm candy to the max. On a scale of 1 to 10 she was off the charts at 10,000. She turned heads just by entering a room.
He liked rock & roll and off-roading in the desert with new pickup trucks. She was a trained and accomplished concert violinist. He laughed at, made fun of her passion, refused to attend her performances with the Phoenix Symphony (she landed that position almost immediately) because he found it boring. But he was confident that she needed him due to the fact that he had "rescued" her from her drab (what he thought) life in the FSU.
Surprisingly, their union lasted over 5 years but at Russian Club functions where I would speak from time to time the disillusion and unhappiness in her eyes was obvious to anyone paying attention.
A few years back I heard she is first chair and featured violinist in a large Symphony in the Pacific Northwest. She is apparently well paid, and obviously very talented. I imagine that she remarried because her beauty was uncommon even by FSU standards.
Acquaintances told me some time ago that he still likes rock and roll, will tell anyone who listens how he was used as a mule by a scheming bitch who didn't appreciate all that he had provided for her, and has apparently found someone from Columbia.
One can only hope that his new lady is not talented and that she likes pickup trucks.
TRench,
I am married to a very athletic RW. Her school friends refer to her as "sport woman," because she excelled at any sport.
Her first job was a professional gymnast for two years before she became a model. In the Soviet economy at age 18 she made 3x the salary of a graduate engineer.
I like sports, so one might think we would do sports together. She does not consider golf, my favorite hobby, a sport. Also, she gets hot in the Florida sun. So we found other hobbies to share such as travel, hiking, antiques, flower gardening, ...
In other words, sport is not her life at age 53. She stays fit - regularly working out at our club's fitness center such as yoga classes, etc. where she goes all out, doing impossible stretches. In my youth, I would not be able to stay up with her.
So perhaps you can find common interests with this new woman outside the realm of pure sports. However, if your Sport Woman is really serious about sports, I have three suggestions: tennis or horses or downhill skiing. Very few FSUW have the opportunity to pursue them because they are sports for the wealthy, so she should be intrigued.
How to pursue this? Determine if she would have any interest. If yes, meet her, and then plan a second meeting at a resort that teaches your chosen sport to beginners. You need to take lessons in the UK before you meet her because If you are physically inept, she will quickly advance past you and may find the instructors more interesting than you. :o
Brand new tennis rackets, full set of taylormade golf setup with never worn pair of FJ shoes, Hybrid bike (we use occasionally-thank goodness for small favors), rollerblades, surf/boogieboards (3EA), snowboard (hers-got rid of. still have her suit and compliments-used once), never used tennis machine, 2 EA Trikkes, hiking boots, sunglasses for every activity. Yoga mat/s. Camping gear and stuf, stuff, stuff...I know I'm missing a few more, but who cares..
That's just in the 'her side' of the garage. Dick's Sporting Goods store's inventory have nothing on us.
Sports, hhmmm..Let's see, allow me to take inventory of my garage...
Brand new tennis rackets, full set of taylormade golf setup with never worn pair of FJ shoes, Hybrid bike (we use occasionally-thank goodness for small favors), rollerblades, surf/boogieboards (3EA), snowboard (hers-got rid of. still have her suit and compliments-used once), never used tennis machine, 2 EA Trikkes, hiking boots, sunglasses for every activity. Yoga mat/s. Camping gear and stuf, stuff, stuff...I know I'm missing a few more, but who cares..
That's just in the 'her side' of the garage. Dick's Sporting Goods store's inventory have nothing on us. I took her ice skating over the holidays at LA LIVE and she really dug that. Methinks I'm now in the market for ice skates. Hiking, boogie boarding, biking sort of stick in our recreational activity....but still.
She loves going to see the Lakers, Kings and now the Rams as much as going to concerts and broadway shows. Company have suites and tickets for all the entertainment venues in LA for business, so that part of it is great.
Luv wifey to the bone, but 'sporty' she ain't baby! Although trooper 'nuff she'll try anything. Yup, try she will, the evidence are in the garage and closets.
Yeah, that stuff can add up a bit but still at a more reasonable pace that a fashionista girl with a dress, dress, dress, etc, etc mentality. I love girls that dress up but fashionista girls have too much drive on that front for my wallet to satisfy and without satisfying that I find they have not very much too them or the previous girl did anyway. At least with a sports girl I'm not feeling like a walking wallet even if I am paying or putting up with the whining then a 'what do we do now' situation as girl has little in the way of past times other than clothes. If I was a rich dude that sey up may or may not bother me so much. Psychologically though I think I still may feel put out after a while and wonder if she really felt anything for me or just saw me as a walking wallet. Possibly a girl who was into sport might make me more inclined to stick it for longer and attain a deeper level on it I'm thinking. It may actually be a positive move for me now as I think of it.
I can't comment on your personal choices or disposition, but in my case, the very fact wifey did in fact gave her honest 'effort' diving into things so utterly alien for her were enough for me to embrace and appreciate more so than she'll ever realize. That's gold, man. She wanted to partake in activities she knew I enjoyed to the point she actually sustained injuries trying...
I, OTOH, cannot be anything less than what she's shown for me, no? That's what relationships are about. Everything else is, or should be, irrelevant.
As for immigrating expenses/provisions, IMO, doesn't matter what a person/gal's interests are, the petitioner (you) still have to face general living provisions whether you like it or not. Don't expect anyone to hit the ground running and start contributing to the household or at least fend for her personal self. Ain't happening unless she's a daughter of a royalty. Best not equate your selection process with your perception of how much money will someone would likely cost you when they arrive.
Almost all women I met in the FSU had diverse interests. My sportswoman wife enjoys Russian literature and music, and in high school won the medal for best reciter of Pushkin. [On occasion she will rattle some Pushkin lines to me; I love the sounds even though I don't have a clue.]
The important point - Her diversity of interests did not guarantee a shared world with me. Our building a new life together depended upon both of us having the flexibility, openness, sense of adventure, and willingness to explore new worlds, just as GQ's wifey did with the one world of sports.
If this Belarus woman is indeed a black-and-white thinker about her life of sports, she is not a good match. Many of your questions could be answered in a few minutes of conversation without brainsprinkling on RWD pages.
Trench get down the gym. What are you offering these women. Male pattern baldness and a pot belly. Then you worry about losing her. What does this gym fit 8 see in you except walking ATM. Luckily for you fast gains are made at the beginning plus sport for 2 combined is great fun . Lots of FSU women are educated and like architecture and all the things you like but the fit ones are fit because they are fit, go figure
Don't worry about baldness. Plenty of FSU guys are clean shaven, including myself. Last year in Georgia while on holiday the Angel Princess out of the blue, as we were walking down a street, asked if I wanted to go with a clean shave look on top.
I know her like a book so while the idea was new to me, she had been thinking of whether to make the suggestion so I asked if we could think about it. That evening over dinner she assured me of her love and admiration no matter the decision so I suggested that we give it a try. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
The next morning on the way to the beach we walked past a barber. I paused, turned around, and the rest is history. She loves my Bruce Willis look as I call it, and each time she retorts that I am better looking that Bruce. That is not even close to truth, but she loves me and that is all that matters.
If FSW like architecture I've yet to meet one where I am convinced of this.
I have three suggestions: tennis or horses or downhill skiing. Very few FSUW have the opportunity to pursue them because they are sports for the wealthy, so she should be intrigued.
I don't understand it. If a guy has male pattern baldness, receding hair, greying badly, etc I could understand it since it avoids those obvious old man looks. For me though I still have a great full turf of brown hair like any guy in his teens or twenties. I get the hard man look like Jason Stratton but those guys are famous film stars. For me I would be loathed to lose my youthful full turf if hair to become a baldy when I'm not one to start with. It would kind of feel like adopting not only something which I'm not actually am but something that is often perceived as a major disadvantage in the west.
I don't understand it. If a guy has male pattern baldness, receding hair, greying badly, etc I could understand it since it avoids those obvious old man looks. For me though I still have a great full turf of brown hair like any guy in his teens or twenties. I get the hard man look like Jason Stratton but those guys are famous film stars. For me I would be loathed to lose my youthful full turf if hair to become a baldy when I'm not one to start with. It would kind of feel like adopting not only something which I'm not actually am but something that is often perceived as a major disadvantage in the west.
I started losing hair in University. By the time we met, I was well on the way. It didn't seem to matter then and the only reason she suggested a clean shave last June was that so little was left. I actually enjoy the look and have thrown away hair products, combs, brushes, etc. I get out of the shower, shave and I am done!
I'm balding, going slightly grey and the proverbial short a**e, even by UK standards never mind FSU. Has it ever deterred me or stopped me from dating relatively hot women?
And yes, I'm younger than Trench. And no, I'm not (exactly) like Jason Stathem.
Trench, if I were you I'd have more serious things to consider. Forget your appearance. Work on your personality and your confidence.
No, but yyou are still looking. Perhaps its more a question of how that relationship goes.
My confidence is fine, but like I said I've never pretended to be Mr Personality.
I would'nt discount looks Lyndon, a lot of guys (& girls) who are good on personailty tend to discount looks in favour of their already natural strength in the personality stakes.
If you look at your looks and where you might edge it up a little you may be surprised with the result.
I'm happy with the results so you can keep your 'edge it up a little'.
The day I start to listen to your advice is the day to chuck in the towel.
Being introspective isn't always an easy thing to do.
I now wonder if her interest in me may be more to do with meeting a foreigner (she's Belarusian). I think her extreme tenancy towards sport may probably mean we are not in alignment quite enough.
My thought is at this time is that apart from a girl into generic stuff I think dare I say it but one who is into traveling and seeing & doing stuff, activities would probably suit me best. That of course comes with the caveat of not getting a girl who wants to immediately land me with a travel bill so on that one I'm going to have to be careful. Does a girl who's into travelling sound like a goer to you guys?
More Trench "I'm clueless about ANY women" ..... If an FSU says she 'likes to travel' .. YOU will be paying ...
I mean those that don't want to immediately land you with the cost. A few guys on here even got the girl to pay her way, though admittedly with James she had a Sugar Daddy.Back to that old chestnut. Trench can barely afford himself, never mind a woman.
If I can meet a girl who is willing to pay her way if wanting to travel up front or willing to wait a bit or happy to travel just locally then it could be a goer. Even to places just across the border in Eastern Europe could be quite cheap.
But yes I would have to be careful of girls just wanting to travel solely at my expense.
If a Belarus girl says she is sporty that means you will be running along for her after work run through the forest and fields some of my personal best 10 k s have been chasing licra clad popa. And maybe a few hours in the gym. Thing is she will have a great body. Think of it this way what woman would want to go to bed with a lard ball you don't want to bed lardy girls.
Msmob your just an old man trying to justify your life choices. While we are still living ours.