Are certain areas of the USA seen as more desirable?

[DTEJD]

Hello FSU women!

I have a question for all of you.  Are some of the areas of the USA seen as better areas to live in?

For example, is New York City seen as a desirable place to live.  Do a lot of women desire to live in the South, West or California as it is much warmer?  Perhaps living in the Midwest or New England as the climate is somewhat the same?

I know Chicago has a large Polish population.  Are there cities seen as desirable?

Perhaps a better question might be, Are there areas of the USA seen as NOT BEING DESIRABLE TO LIVE IN?  Small towns?  Iowa?  Detroit or Cleveland?  Not living in the South, or perhaps the Pacific North West?  Not living in California as it is crowded, earthquake prone, or expensive?

Are most FSU women aware of the larger US cities?  Roughly where they are located?  Their size?

I was speaking with a woman from Mexico the other day who claims she had never heard of a place called Detroit.

Any thoughts?

[Vasilisa]

I can't say about all RW, but I'dheard of Detroit and other big cities before I came and knew where they are located. Before I came I didn't care where to live. Now I do.

If I could choose again before I met the man  I'd probably choose big cities on the East Coast. It's also cheaper and more convenient  to travel home and to Europe  and people are more open-minded and more loyal to the strangers. Also it's easier to find a job without having a car  or move around if the relationship doesn't work for some reason as many big cities have public transportation. And there are more educated people there with whom you can have long productive conversations which is important to me.
I hadn't known it is that bad in the "middle" part of the US before I came.

But I know many girls that like it here. Most of them are older women from small poor towns and villages though.

[DTEJD]

Vasilia:

Thank you for the reply, I appreciate it.

I have a another question(s):

Is driving and owning a car/vehicle something that is looked forward to/desired by the typical FSU woman?

I know when I was a teenager, I longed to get a car of my own.

I presume having more than one vehicle in a relationship would be advantageous?

Most cities with the exception of NYC, LA, Chicago, Boston, DC, and Philadelphia do not have well developed public transportation.  Almost EVERY US city does have some amount of public transportation, but frequently is not well developed and is often inconvenient. 

Also, do most FSU enjoy the four seasons (Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter...not the hotel!).  Or would they prefer to have a very mild winter, or even a Mediterranean climate (California)?

Thanks,

DTEJD!

[Vasilisa]

Vasilia:

Thank you for the reply, I appreciate it.

I have a another question(s):

Is driving and owning a car/vehicle something that is looked forward to/desired by the typical FSU woman?

I know when I was a teenager, I longed to get a car of my own.

I wouldn't say I like driving a car. It also makes you spend a lot more money. When RW come some of them can't drive a car and they can't afford getting one right away,  when they are older than 30 or 40 yo this could be a big problem, especially if she didn't drive in Russia she is stuck at home and can't go anywhere without her husband and has to sit at home, walk or ride a bike which is often not safe and not for everyone.

Many intelligent  and educated women also like going out, going to theatres, clubs, exhibitions and without a car living in a small town  you have nothing to do, you don't even see people. It's simply boring, the only entertainment is to garden, clean the house, cook, surf the net and go to the grocery store once a week. After having life full of adventures it's simply boring for many women.

If this is the place where you live I'd highly recommend to look for the girl from a smaller town/village and discuss all these things in advance with her, read between the lines what kind of hobbies she has and how important it is for her to go out and have a social life.

As for the climate part it depends on the girl, but I think most RW like something warmer than Russian winter:)

[Slumba]

I can't say about all RW, but I'dheard of Detroit and other big cities before I came and knew where they are located. Before I came I didn't care where to live. Now I do.

If I could choose again before I met the man  I'd probably choose big cities on the East Coast. It's also cheaper and more convenient  to travel home and to Europe  and people are more open-minded and more loyal to the strangers. Also it's easier to find a job without having a car  or move around if the relationship doesn't work for some reason as many big cities have public transportation. And there are more educated people there with whom you can have long productive conversations which is important to me.
I hadn't known it is that bad in the "middle" part of the US before I came.

But I know many girls that like it here. Most of them are older women from small poor towns and villages though.

Vasilisa, as someone who has lived on the East Coast for over 10 years and only recently moved to Denver, please allow me to address some of the things you wrote:

1. It is cheaper by about $200 to $300 , and about 3-5 hours shorter, if you are close to NYC or another large hub for air traffic to Europe.  However, parking is more expensive (if you have to drive and park), so for longer trips that may negate the cost advantage.

2. People in the East are not more open-minded and loyal to strangers. 

I have no idea where you got this impression   I knew people who lived near Philadelphia, that were in their 30s or older, who had never even visited New York City!  A three hour drive or less, away from one of the great cities of the world. And even people from NYC can be insular and closed-minded.

3. Public transportation. 

Outside of living in the 5 boroughs of New York City (1 bedroom apartment @ $2000/month; Manhattan @ $3500/month) , or in the very heart of Boston ($1500 to $2000/month) , there is no city on the East Coast that has what you would consider an acceptable level of public transportation.  I will allow others to back me up on this if they so choose.  Philadelphia's transit system is OK in certain areas, but it would take a lot of research to find the right place to live, as large parts of the transit system are dangerous for a young white woman.

Reality is, either you spend the money for a car, or you spend the money you save on not having a car, for a more expensive apartment.

4. Education level.  Maybe if you live in Boston, you would find more educated people due to the presence of MIT, Harvard, etc. 

Outside of that expensive and narrow example, I would say that Austin, where you are, and  Denver, where I am, have at least as many people that are educated, interesting, open-minded, etc. as any place on the East Coast.

I do not know what you look like, but I do know other women in Texas (not FSUW) who have not a chance of being as attractive, well-spoken, and with as nice a personality (as you appear to have) -- and yet they have men who are attracted to them, speaking to them and asking them on dates, etc.

Finally, may I ask, have you taken any of the advice given about places to meet men? 

Did you go to an upscale gun club and try to find someone to help you learn to shoot? 

Did you check out learning to sail, by for example, looking at this site:  http://www.austinyachtclub.org/ ?  Sadly the sailing season is now over until May 2013.

Forgive me if I have missed your report of having done this....

[Vasilisa]

Vasilisa, as someone who has lived on the East Coast for over 10 years and only recently moved to Denver, please allow me to address some of the things you wrote:

1. It is cheaper by about $200 to $300 , and about 3-5 hours shorter, if you are close to NYC or another large hub for air traffic to Europe.  However, parking is more expensive (if you have to drive and park), so for longer trips that may negate the cost advantage.

2. People in the East are not more open-minded and loyal to strangers. 

I have no idea where you got this impression   I knew people who lived near Philadelphia, that were in their 30s or older, who had never even visited New York City!  A three hour drive or less, away from one of the great cities of the world. And even people from NYC can be insular and closed-minded.

3. Public transportation. 

Outside of living in the 5 boroughs of New York City (1 bedroom apartment @ $2000/month; Manhattan @ $3500/month) , or in the very heart of Boston ($1500 to $2000/month) , there is no city on the East Coast that has what you would consider an acceptable level of public transportation.  I will allow others to back me up on this if they so choose.  Philadelphia's transit system is OK in certain areas, but it would take a lot of research to find the right place to live, as large parts of the transit system are dangerous for a young white woman.

Reality is, either you spend the money for a car, or you spend the money you save on not having a car, for a more expensive apartment.

4. Education level.  Maybe if you live in Boston, you would find more educated people due to the presence of MIT, Harvard, etc. 

Outside of that expensive and narrow example, I would say that Austin, where you are, and  Denver, where I am, have at least as many people that are educated, interesting, open-minded, etc. as any place on the East Coast.

I do not know what you look like, but I do know other women in Texas (not FSUW) who have not a chance of being as attractive, well-spoken, and with as nice a personality (as you appear to have) -- and yet they have men who are attracted to them, speaking to them and asking them on dates, etc.

Finally, may I ask, have you taken any of the advice given about places to meet men? 

Did you go to an upscale gun club and try to find someone to help you learn to shoot? 

Did you check out learning to sail, by for example, looking at this site:  http://www.austinyachtclub.org/ ?  Sadly the sailing season is now over until May 2013.

Forgive me if I have missed your report of having done this....

Slumba, I used to live in NYC, not for a very long time though, , i loved it, people are ruder, but it was fine, I also have many Russian friends there that love it and never complained about anything and din't want to leave that place though they live with roommates and pay a high rent, the same about Boston and Washingron DC.
I know a lot of RW in Texas, Oklahoma, Ohio that hate it there. Also I read the forum of the RW living in the US. That was the impression I got, I am sorry if it's different from yours.
I didn't feel like a stranger in NYC, I do feel like a stranger here.

[Vasilisa]

As for meeting people in real life, unfortunately I don't have much time for joining any kind of clubs right now.  I am thinking maybe after the New Year and it will probably be boxing, lol . And I don't travel much right now, I am collecting money for my trip to Russia next year. I miss my parents badly.

I've tried the dating websites though and it doesn't look good, so I am about to stop it in order not to waste my time and not to lose my positive attitude towards men.

[DTEJD]

Vasilia:

I have read some of your other threads and I have one thing to share with you.

I have become frustrated with online dating sites in the USA.  I found them to be unacceptable and a large waste of time.

I was talking with a business associate earlier in the week.  He is in his late 20's, well educated, in good shape, decent looking....He was on a couple of the bigger online dating sites and he said he was very discouraged...I asked why, and he said that he was getting response rates of about 10 to 15%.  I WAS SHOCKED.  I would figure my associate has much more going for him.  He is younger, in better shape (better looking), has a college degree, is professionally employed...He has a slight foreign accent, but is EXTREMELY well spoken.  He is in sales for a living.

I am in my very early 40's, and am not in as good as shape, but I do have a better education...But I figured he would have a much easier time than I would.  I almost couldn't believe he was having a MORE DIFFICULT time than I was. 

I was getting response rates of about 30% to 40% and did not care for this.  My response rate was close to TRIPLE what he was encountering.  I would not expect a 100% response, but I carefully chose who I wrote to, and crafted a unique couple paragraph message to each woman I contacted.

I am careful to give a reply to every woman who contacts me even if I do not wish to go out with them.  It may only be a response of "Thank you for contacting me, but I don't think we would be compatible.  Good luck with your search."

I just think that is just basic decency.

It is not just you that has problems with it, many men find it difficult too.

Somewhere there is someone for you, don't give up, and don't get too discouraged.

DTE JD

[Lily]

DTEJD,The average educational standard of RW is higher than with women from most other countries, and yes, they are aware of the larger U.S. cities and are likely aware of the other U.S. locations, as well as states and general places of interests.

The preferences for living may vary from person to person. Ones would prefer a megapolis like NY, Philadelphia or LA, others may find it attractive to live at the coastal area. Individuality counts a lot. Asking a particular woman would be the best advice possible. However, a number of women may be willing to change their preference in order to follow their man whose job or other circumstances require him to move to another location,

As far as driving a car is concerned, again, it may be individual. My take on this would be that as soon as this is a necessity, most women would want to learn to drive, irrespectively whether they enjoy it or not. For the most U.S. locations, the choice is rather simple: either you get a car and drive, or you are stuck at home and miss a lot in your life.

[DTEJD]

Lily:

Thanks for your thoughtful response.

One of the reasons that I ask about women's perceptions of the USA is that I might have the chance to move in the new year.  If I do, it will be to Atlanta.  Atlanta has a bus line & MARTA, but it's public transport is not like NYC or Chicago.  Atlanta certainly is not a small city, but it is not like NYC, Chicago or Philadelphia.

I am currently living in Texas, just outside of Houston.  Texas is nice, but the weather is almost a tropical location, and is somewhat difficult to adjust to. 

Being from the midwest, I miss Fall and Winter.  I suspect that FSU women might feel the same way.  Atlanta is certainly hot, but not quite as bad as Houston.

You almost have to have a vehicle here in Texas.  I've got a couple of vehicles, so that is one potential problem I might be able to avoid. 

I imagine that Atlanta would be large enough and have enough to do for a "city" girl...Any thoughts?

[JayH]

DTE-- I am not a FSU woman,nor am I in the US or a Us citizen!! I do know the US well-- and I know parts of FSU reasonably well.
Reading what you said-- get in shape- and get healthy.This should be urgent ongoing priorty. Most younger FSUW( eg under 35) will aspire to drive-- and the reality is that outside of a few areas in US-- a necessity.
There is vast difference in the geography of cities here,in the US and in the FSU. Cities are urban with public transit systems that everyone is use to using.Understanding the suburbs,malls etc is something that is hard to explain.If you live out of a city-- that could feel like a very isolated situation to many-- especially FSUW transplanted. I see these issues as very big issues in adapting.
It needs a strong relationship to handle the changes-- and survive I think.
One of the changes that is this century is that the national type enclaves and areas are becoming less obvious and broken down ( eg-- historically Polish influence in Chicago,the Russian areas in New York that have developed-- and in time will be less obvious.Once new migrants may have headed to those types of communities for the familiarity and support-- these days and in the likely cases here the guy will have established workplace that dictates where he lives-- so the old option is not available.
I did not read that you had already made a visit--if not--please realise that girls are not likely to be economic refugees and that you are a potential saviour.That will not be the case. I seriously doubt anyone missing winter!!
To slightly repeat myself-- the structure of cites like Atlanta has little similarity to FSU cities--particularly in relation to how people live and move around.

[TheTraveler]

I hadn't known it is that bad in the "middle" part of the US before I came.

But I know many girls that like it here. Most of them are older women from small poor towns and villages though.

... which cosmopolitan russian metropolis do you come from?

[Aloe]

I am 18 km outside of Brussels and i miss civilization. Some days i wish i lived in a big city and not next to it    Let alone a remote village. Hated it. Mind you, 'remote' village here means 30 minutes drive. Of course i don't have a car at my disposal.. If i had one, maybe my feelings would change.

[Aloe]

Although if i had to choose, i'd probably try living in San Francisco. That city fascinates me (from a distance)   Never been to America... Although the prospect of an earthquake is quite unpleasant. I'd definitely try to avoid the middle of the US cuz of tornadoes though. Although if i had a choice between a tiny apartment in a big city and a palace and a CAR in the middle of nowhere, i'm not quite sure which i'd choose... Both have pros and cons.

[Slumba]

Although if i had to choose, i'd probably try living in San Francisco. That city fascinates me (from a distance)   Never been to America... Although the prospect of an earthquake is quite unpleasant. I'd definitely try to avoid the middle of the US cuz of tornadoes though. Although if i had a choice between a tiny apartment in a big city and a palace and a CAR in the middle of nowhere, i'm not quite sure which i'd choose... Both have pros and cons.

Thanks for clearing that up for us, Aloe! 

[Jumper]

Although if i had to choose, i'd probably try living in San Francisco. That city fascinates me (from a distance)   Never been to America... Although the prospect of an earthquake is quite unpleasant. I'd definitely try to avoid the middle of the US cuz of tornadoes though. Although if i had a choice between a tiny apartment in a big city and a palace and a CAR in the middle of nowhere, i'm not quite sure which i'd choose... Both have pros and cons.

well heh.

We live near Chicago.

Tornadoes are far less common than earthquakes,and its about the odds of hitting a lottery
So its of very little true concern

As an immigrant, I certainly wouldn't rule out midwestern cities like Chicago , or others

I doubt any other city than NYC , are as culturally diverse as Chicago ,
it has a vast population of europeans, eastern europeans, asian, etc.
or have as nice of beaches , or expanded city life - museums, opera,concerts, fine dining, clubs,parks, observatories, zoos,aquariums , arboretums, *things to do*.

As far as smaller town here vs city, its so different than FSU or many other countries,thats its incredibly hard to do a comparison?
We live in a smaller town, my wife loves it.It has great schools a very laid back atmosphere, nice parks,restuarants,cafes, and shops of ecery description,plus just 11 minutes from  huge mall ,if thats someones thing, and 20 minutes from the beach.
We are out at some park hiking, or at the beach or doing something most every weekend or day off.

The big city life, is 45 minutes away..and can be by train or car.
We just went downtown to the museum for the day yesterday, and certainly only saw half the exhibits, and it is only one ,of the  5 larger ,and 20 so smaller museums here.
While the bustle of the city is nice for a day and itwas a beautiful downtown day, I dont think she would every trade our life so close by rurally, for a flat downtown.It just wouldn't make sense to either of us ,now.
before immigrating it would have ?

Everyones taste is different though?
and the reality is unless experiencing it first hand, it's hard to imagine the downtown life as not more interesting,and entertaining?
In our case it isn't , and the simple things,  like i like i can leave my car unlocked and never worry about it, do play a part in the comfort of life anywhere?

[mies]

Hello FSU women!

I have a question for all of you.  Are some of the areas of the USA seen as better areas to live in?

For example, is New York City seen as a desirable place to live.  Do a lot of women desire to live in the South, West or California as it is much warmer?  Perhaps living in the Midwest or New England as the climate is somewhat the same?

I know Chicago has a large Polish population.  Are there cities seen as desirable?

Perhaps a better question might be, Are there areas of the USA seen as NOT BEING DESIRABLE TO LIVE IN?  Small towns?  Iowa?  Detroit or Cleveland?  Not living in the South, or perhaps the Pacific North West?  Not living in California as it is crowded, earthquake prone, or expensive?

Are most FSU women aware of the larger US cities?  Roughly where they are located?  Their size?

I was speaking with a woman from Mexico the other day who claims she had never heard of a place called Detroit.

Any thoughts?

yes.

If you want more details -
The city to be desirable has to have:
1) convenient and easily accessible public transportation
2) people, preferably international people in addition to Americans - russian or other. So that the RW won't be alienated by her new community, and won't be treated as a "unusual specimen"
3) stores with good food variety, ideally - similar to european food, or farmers' markets.
4) some cultural life (and not only local redneck bars or bikers' pubs - and here I do not equate rednecks to bikers, just listing some of possibilities)
5) walking streets (not only driving)
6) possibilities of professional employment (and not as a cashier at the gas station)

Hence, smaller towns usually (not always) are less desirable, villages in rural areas - are the least desirable.

If you live in the "undesirable" location - you will either get a depressed woman, or will get a divorce soon after she will become independent in terms of her immigration status and will figure out the differences between "desirable" and "undesirable" places to live in the USA.

[mies]

Vasilia:

Thank you for the reply, I appreciate it.

I have a another question(s):

Is driving and owning a car/vehicle something that is looked forward to/desired by the typical FSU woman?

I know when I was a teenager, I longed to get a car of my own.

I presume having more than one vehicle in a relationship would be advantageous?

Most cities with the exception of NYC, LA, Chicago, Boston, DC, and Philadelphia do not have well developed public transportation.  Almost EVERY US city does have some amount of public transportation, but frequently is not well developed and is often inconvenient. 

Also, do most FSU enjoy the four seasons (Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter...not the hotel!).  Or would they prefer to have a very mild winter, or even a Mediterranean climate (California)?

Thanks,

DTEJD!

I love owning a car. I love driving it occasionally just for fun. I don't like driving when I HAVE TO DRIVE. We live in the downtown of the large city, it takes me 15 minutes to walk to my office. For my husband his walk to his office takes 20 minutes. We use our cars only to drive to the gym and for shopping, occasionally for small weekend trips. I would never willingly move out of the city and drive 40+ minutes to work, spend hours of my life waiting in traffic, etc. I hate spending days in the car, doing the road trip, although driving a good car can be quite comfortable and pleasant, but any drive more than 30 minutes once a week is too much for me. During rush hours I take the bus instead of taking my car, because in the bus I can relax and read, and the trip can be shorter than driving because the bus uses separate lane.

[Vasilisa]

... which cosmopolitan russian metropolis do you come from?

Take any Russian city 600,000+inhabitants.

[JohnDearGreen]

I have a question for all of you.  Are some of the areas of the USA seen as better areas to live in?
For example, is New York City seen as a desirable place to live.  Do a lot of women desire to live in the South, West or California as it is much warmer?  Perhaps living in the Midwest or New England as the climate is somewhat the same?

Depends a lot on your income level.  NY and LA are tremendous if you have money to burn.  For a middle to upper middle class income I would prefer a medium size city like Louisville or Nashville.  Suggest you google search for CNNMoney ratings of Best Places to Live.

[ML]

A note on public transportation.

Supply versus demand.

Many people outside USA think that it is terrible that USA has a lack of public transportation and attribute this to somehow not serving the public properly.

But, that has it backwards.

There is little public transportation in USA compared to places outside the  USA simply because . . . there has been a lack of DEMAND for it.

And, in fact, there has been a decreasing demand for it.
Do a little checking and you will find there was more in the way of public transportation in the past in several cities in USA; trolley lines, etc. and a more extensive nationwide railway service.
These trolley lines have long been abandoned in many cities because of . . .
lack of significant number of riders . . . LACK OF DEMAND.
The same can be said for passenger railway service.

This is a nation of car owners and car lovers.
Relatively cheap (compared to many other countries) gas has contributed to this, along with a lot of space (at least east of the Alleghenies) to build highways.

However, it will be changing.  Increasing population, increasing cost of  gas, and environmental considerations  will lead to increased use and provision of public transportation in the future . . . just no timeline on when this future  arrives.

Complaining about lack of public transportation in USA is a little bit like going to Austria and complaining about the lack of ocean views.

It ISN'T here, and that is well known beforehand.

[BC]

IMHO the most desirable destination remains EU.

[TheTraveler]

 
the inner-city riff-raff that tends to travel on public transportation in large U.S. cities is unwelcome in my beautiful, safe, and affluent suburban neighborhood.
 
basically, the lack of public transportation where i live is a good thing.

[TheTraveler]

I can't say about all RW, but I'dheard of Detroit and other big cities before I came and knew where they are located. Before I came I didn't care where to live. Now I do.

If I could choose again before I met the man  I'd probably choose big cities on the East Coast. It's also cheaper and more convenient  to travel home and to Europe  and people are more open-minded and more loyal to the strangers. Also it's easier to find a job without having a car  or move around if the relationship doesn't work for some reason as many big cities have public transportation. And there are more educated people there with whom you can have long productive conversations which is important to me.
I hadn't known it is that bad in the "middle" part of the US before I came.

But I know many girls that like it here. Most of them are older women from small poor towns and villages though.

in one post, vasilisa managed to generalize about the educational level of east-coasters (higher) versus middle-americans (lesser)... oh and she managed to toss in a slight at "poor russian village girls", too.
 
but then she appreciates that east-coasters are less "closed-minded" than middle-americans.
 
vasilisa the ironic!
 

[Vasilisa]

in one post, vasilisa managed to generalize about the educational level of east-coasters (higher) versus middle-americans (lesser)... oh and she managed to toss in a slight at "poor russian village girls", too.
 
but then she appreciates that east-coasters are less "closed-minded" than middle-americans.
 
vasilisa the ironic!

I am sorry to hurt your fragile feelings, but the section is called :"Ask RW" and the thread was about how RW see the US.

Again and again I have to admit that the RW opinion is not appreciated here as AM know it best anyway.
So how about we rename the section into :"Ask the Traveler"

You are hopeless, guys, I have to leave this weird place.