hearing different sides from AM and FSU woman

[olgac]

I wanted to share some cases of me knowing both sides of the marriage problems due to being in contact with a FSUW and her american husband.

1. on one of the yahoo groups there was a man who complained about his wife, mostly that she is not very loving. Thing is I knew in real life, not from forums her RW friend who married an AM few years before and I think her american husband died few years later. She was messaging me all the problems her friend had in her marriage, how she wasn't attracted to him, basically repulsed by him, how he doesn't spend enough money on her, doesn't take her places, he smells, etc. etc. The friend of the wife was very sympathetic.

For few years I lost contact with both of them and afterwards the AM befriended me on FB. It turns out he divorced his RW who apparently never loved him and married her friend who was complaining to me on his wife's behalf It seems her friend finally figured out that there was nothing at all wrong with a man, and her friend was just spoiled and entitled and never loved him in the first place. These 2 are still married I think over 10 years and are very happy

2. Again I knew an AM from one of the yahoo groups and he at first was saying how great FSUW are and how lucky he got. He was married to a very good looking RW whom I knew in real life, not through forums. They had children together. His wife was telling us that she never loved him and her friends and family convinced her to marry him because he was such a stable and nice guy and a good provider. He wasn't much older but he wasn't very attractive at all. 10+ years later she left him for another man, and left the children (including the one she brought with her to US)  with the husband so she can move in with her boyfriend. Her husband later wrote a post about it how he was doing everything for her and paid for her and her son's university education.

3. I knew in real life and visited often the RW who was married to an american and had 2 kids with him. He was a good provider and a pretty nice guy. When he came home from work, he would babysit and cook while she went to study at the local university. When she finally graduated and got a new job I remember we (few FSUW) celebrated this and were drinking to her finally becoming independent. Ten she left him (also married 10+ years) and left the kids with her husband, the kids were against their mom and supported their dad. She moved in with her boyfriend. Her ex husband was not happy at all.

in all 3 cases the FSUW remarried afterwards even though they were in their late 30s/early 40s. One married an american guy much younger than her. All of them now have good jobs and are married to the new husbands for years. Of course by the time they divorced they already all had US citizenship or at least permanent GC and 2/3 also had a good job in US.

[olgac]

Yet another couple I knew in person because he worked with my husband and I knew the wife (and I am still friends with her)
In their case the husband wanted a divorce because he was very disillusioned. He wanted to divorce before she got a permanent green card.
She basically begged him to stay married until she gets legalized and he did and later got divorced.
From talking to him he thought he was marrying an shy quiet woman but this was just because she didn't yet speak English
In reality my friend is kind of loud and talkative, and he even mentioned he was embarassed of her because she started being very loud
both at home and in public with her strong accent and he often felt embarassed. This is what he said anyways.

Even to this day I often have to shush her at public places/restaurants

[ML]

Good stories Olga.

And the moral of the stories is . . . . ?

[olgac]

I am not sure what the moral is
It's just interesting when you hear the story from 2 different sides.
I guess the moral in all these stories is that FSUW were not in love at all when they married.
I don't know how common this is but I do know quite a lot of such cases

Also I think You guys are wrong thinking a FSUW in US will not be able to re-marry after
she is 40. Not what I am seeing at all! If a woman is skinny and has a job she remarries
with no problems! We are going to yet another wedding in Oct of a 47 year old RW who
met her man just a year ago! She too came to US to marry an American man about 20 years ago.

I also feel very happy for the <eventual> couple in the story 1. This woman heard all these
complaints from her friends about friend's american husband and then eventually she saw
for herself he was a great guy and her friend was full of it

[krimster2]

statistically, women age 40 or older make up about 9% of the total marriage licenses in the USA...
in Russia, you wouldn't be as lucky as that, but America has a lot of donkeys that can carry yur baggage, if you scratch their butt and call them a "hirroshi malchik"
meanwhile subtract war losses and emmigration from the male population in Russia and Ukraine

if yur a Russian woman, you'd be a pridorik to get married in Russia, when you see how much yur worth in America
if yur an American man, you'd be  a pridorik if you marry an American woman, when you see how much yur worth in Ukraine

[olgac]

if yur an American man, you'd be  a pridorik if you marry an American woman, when you see how much yur worth in Ukraine

yeah but you do run a danger of someone settling for you as in the above stories where the guys were good men.

[olgac]

if yur a Russian woman, you'd be a pridorik to get married in Russia, when you see how much yur worth in America

That is true for sure!

[ML]

Also I think You guys are wrong thinking a FSUW in US will not be able to re-marry after she is 40. Not what I am seeing at all! If a woman is skinny and has a job she remarries with no problems!

Olga, I am not one who has said this at all.

But those who are saying it are referring to FSUW living in FSU . . . not living in the west.

[olgac]

Olga, I am not one who has said this at all.

But those who are saying it are referring to FSUW living in FSU . . . not living in the west.

When I was looking for Doll's posts I noticed the user named Misha from Canada liked to say it a lot.
He was replying to Doll and some other RW saying that women once they arrive here have all sorts of men
flirting with them, so Misha was saying they are just flirting, doesn't mean they would marry the RW if she gets divorced.
I find that Misha was very wrong counting on this. But I hope he is still happily married.

[krimster2]

the universe is filled wih hopeful optimists...
otherwise no one would ever play the lottery

I played the dating lottery, and after many losses
I struck the freakin jackpot

the kinda woman a "techno-geek" can pickup in Ukraine is freakin mind boggling
my wife literally stopped traffic, and at parties, where I lived in California, all the men would stare at her, and all the women would glare at her

married to a super model...
if that doesn't make ya feel good, I don't know what would?
the most beautiful things are from nature
and a beautiful woman is the most beautiful part of nature
easily, worth her weight in gold


and did ya know, that just 15 minutes, could save you 15% or more on yur car insurance?
so it pays to "shop around" whether for a wife or car insurance, to get the "best deal"

[ML]

When I was looking for Doll's posts I noticed the user named Misha from Canada liked to say it a lot.
He was replying to Doll and some other RW saying that women once they arrive here have all sorts of men
flirting with them, so Misha was saying they are just flirting, doesn't mean they would marry the RW if she gets divorced.
I find that Misha was very wrong counting on this. But I hope he is still happily married.

Misha used to make some interesting and useful posts.
But I don't recall specifics.
Anyway, he hasn't been here for 9 years (just checked).

Often we say that when a guy just disappears it's because his marriage went 'belly up.'

However, if that's true, there have been dozens of such as the participation here is probably less than 5% of what it used to be !!

As a side issue:  Misha didn't know much about female sexual pleasure in that he kept arguing there was no such thing as the 'g' spot.
Well I know quite the opposite.

[olgac]

Misha sounds very strange and must not be very pleasing in bed to be honest!

I watched debates and have to say Kamala made Trump looked really bad

[2tallbill]

As a side issue:  Misha didn't know much about female sexual pleasure in that he kept arguing there was no such thing as the 'g' spot.
Well I know quite the opposite.

Really? Next thing you are going to tell everyone is that foreplay is a thing. 

[Boethius]

Most people don't marry for love.  That, coupled with societal acceptance, is why the divorce rate is so high.

[2tallbill]

Most people don't marry for love.  That, coupled with societal acceptance, is why the divorce rate is so high.

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