I'm new and there are no dumb questions, right?

[kp6982]

I ended up moving on from the girl I made this thread originally about.  We ended up not having all that in common and talking to her became a chore.

I've stayed in touch with the one gal without skype through daily emails but I'm guessing she's setting me up to be conned somehow.  I just can't figure out what the angle is.  The no skype thing kind of stunk but I guess it wasn't enough of a reason to walk away for me.  The 2nd red flag was when she told me her daily work schedule but then I see her online during those hours.  She's a hairdresser so I don't know if they only work when they have clients or what.  She's online right now and it's 12:30 pm there so yeah... 

I've looked for her profile on other dating sites with no luck.  Google image searched all the pictures she has sent and nothing.  Nothing on FB and VK.  I went through the questionnaire on this site and it said that maybe she's a scam so not a whole lot of help there.  What's the magic question to solve this?

I know the obvious answer is to walk away but I've exchanged multiple messages with dozens of girls now and I've really only felt any type of connection to a few so I'd hate to end it just because maybe something got lost in translation or that she's legitimately too poor to own a laptop or webcam.  She hasn't asked for anything so I guess there's no harm in continuing and seeing where it goes.   

[Gylden]

I ended up moving on from the girl I made this thread originally about.  We ended up not having all that in common and talking to her became a chore.

I've stayed in touch with the one gal without skype through daily emails but I'm guessing she's setting me up to be conned somehow.  I just can't figure out what the angle is.  The no skype thing kind of stunk but I guess it wasn't enough of a reason to walk away for me.  The 2nd red flag was when she told me her daily work schedule but then I see her online during those hours.  She's a hairdresser so I don't know if they only work when they have clients or what.  She's online right now and it's 12:30 pm there so yeah... 

I've looked for her profile on other dating sites with no luck.  Google image searched all the pictures she has sent and nothing.  Nothing on FB and VK.  I went through the questionnaire on this site and it said that maybe she's a scam so not a whole lot of help there.  What's the magic question to solve this?

I know the obvious answer is to walk away but I've exchanged multiple messages with dozens of girls now and I've really only felt any type of connection to a few so I'd hate to end it just because maybe something got lost in translation or that she's legitimately too poor to own a laptop or webcam.  She hasn't asked for anything so I guess there's no harm in continuing and seeing where it goes.   

I think you answered your own question.

[Patagonie]

I have met and spent time with two REAL women without skype, and without computer. They were real diamonds. She can access at work to internet and stays connected for ever.
It will be more a red flag if she was active every evening and a part of the night.
Anyway i really think that you are going nowhere by writing around without any idea of logistics about FSU.
Where this lady is living ?

[Faux Pas]

I ended up moving on from the girl I made this thread originally about.  We ended up not having all that in common and talking to her became a chore.

I've stayed in touch with the one gal without skype through daily emails but I'm guessing she's setting me up to be conned somehow.  I just can't figure out what the angle is.  The no skype thing kind of stunk but I guess it wasn't enough of a reason to walk away for me.  The 2nd red flag was when she told me her daily work schedule but then I see her online during those hours.  She's a hairdresser so I don't know if they only work when they have clients or what.  She's online right now and it's 12:30 pm there so yeah... 

I've looked for her profile on other dating sites with no luck.  Google image searched all the pictures she has sent and nothing.  Nothing on FB and VK.  I went through the questionnaire on this site and it said that maybe she's a scam so not a whole lot of help there.  What's the magic question to solve this?

I know the obvious answer is to walk away but I've exchanged multiple messages with dozens of girls now and I've really only felt any type of connection to a few so I'd hate to end it just because maybe something got lost in translation or that she's legitimately too poor to own a laptop or webcam.  She hasn't asked for anything so I guess there's no harm in continuing and seeing where it goes.   

Leave your paranoia in check. Take all communication at face value. You are not a boyfriend, you're not even a friend. You, like her is just another face on the internet. Nobody can give you the magic answer to your question, there isn't one.

Assume nothing is lost in translation and you're understanding things just the way she wants you to. If you don't like it, move on. And for God's sake, quit internet stalking these girls. So what if you think she's online at 12:30 am. Who are you, her father?

Dude, you have a lot of growing and understanding to do. Just because you felt a bit superior picking and choosing who to communicate with, it gives you no higher moral ground. They are women and they are completely just like the women you know at home.

[Patagonie]

Leave your paranoia in check. Take all communication at face value. You are not a boyfriend, you're not even a friend. You, like her is just another face on the internet. Nobody can give you the magic answer to your question, there isn't one.

Assume nothing is lost in translation and you're understanding things just the way she wants you to. If you don't like it, move on. And for God's sake, quit internet stalking these girls. So what if you think she's online at 12:30 am. Who are you, her father?

Dude, you have a lot of growing and understanding to do. Just because you felt a bit superior picking and choosing who to communicate with, it gives you no higher moral ground. They are women and they are completely just like the women you know at home.

+1
It is because that you are doing a one shot per time that you are becoming paranoïac.
The way to minimize the scam risk (because yes it exists) is to change your strategy.

[Drew]

They are women and they are completely just like the women you know at home.

Not really completely.
They do have a different outlook concerning many things.
This outlook may or may not change when they relocate to the west.
This different outlook may or may not cause problems in the future relationship with a man from the west.
Many different factors as well as personal differences between any two match ups.

[jone]

And having delved into the Pay Per Chat and Pay Per Letter sites when I was looking, it is no great harm to share your basic concerns.  If she ignores them, she is not for you, or she is Fat Yuri or Harry Boris running a profile.

I would say something to the effect of:

'In the United States we are made aware of women's profiles set up only to make money from men.  I am a serious man and hope you are serious too.  If you like me, then you will need to help me by going to a place that will allow me to see you on the internet and exchange personal information.'

I know you can glean this information from reading the many historical posts.   But:  The most likely candidates are women who have just joined the network.  If they have been there for less than three months, they really could be looking.  After three months, the profile is most likely operated by someone other than the lady.

Even if a lady is honest and online, if she is a popular correspondent and people are paying to talk to her, the agency will operate her profile (most likely without her knowledge) at all hours of the day. 

While there are many women on pay per letter and pay per chat sites, greater than 80% of these are there to make money.  You are looking for a needle in a haystack.   Shop, instead, at sites where you pay a monthly fee, such as Elena's Models.  While there are still scammers there, there can be no direct payment from an agency to the lady.  So fake profiles are not as common.

[Faux Pas]

Not really completely.
They do have a different outlook concerning many things.
This outlook may or may not change when they relocate to the west.
This different outlook may or may not cause problems in the future relationship with a man from the west.
Many different factors as well as personal differences between any two match ups.

Yes, certainly IMHO they are completely just like the women at home. Do all women of the west share the same outlook, have problems with relationships and men from the West? Women are women, it doesn't matter where you find them. So are the men. You are no better or no worse than your Eastern counterparts.

[2tallbill]

I'm mostly just focusing on 1 in particular right now.

No problems you just need a back up plan in case things don't
work out. I went on a trip to Voronezh to meet a girl and it didn't
work out. I could have sucked my thumb until it was all white and
wrinkly feeling sorry for myself but instead I opened an account
on Mamba and some social sites and started asking girls to meet
me for coffee.

One girl who agreed to meet for coffee (and cake) has dazzling green
eyes and 18 months later (and 5 trips) we are engaged to be married.
So always have a back up plan

My biggest issue with the one I'm talking to now is her looks. 

My theory was that the beautiful girls weren't going to kiss themselves
so it might as well be me. You know if a girl is totally out of your league.

Udachi!

Bill

[LAman]

And having delved into the Pay Per Chat and Pay Per Letter sites when I was looking, it is no great harm to share your basic concerns.  If she ignores them, she is not for you, or she is Fat Yuri or Harry Boris running a profile.

I would say something to the effect of:

'In the United States we are made aware of women's profiles set up only to make money from men.  I am a serious man and hope you are serious too.  If you like me, then you will need to help me by going to a place that will allow me to see you on the internet and exchange personal information.'

I know you can glean this information from reading the many historical posts.   But:  The most likely candidates are women who have just joined the network.  If they have been there for less than three months, they really could be looking.  After three months, the profile is most likely operated by someone other than the lady.

Even if a lady is honest and online, if she is a popular correspondent and people are paying to talk to her, the agency will operate her profile (most likely without her knowledge) at all hours of the day. 

While there are many women on pay per letter and pay per chat sites, greater than 80% of these are there to make money.  You are looking for a needle in a haystack.   Shop, instead, at sites where you pay a monthly fee, such as Elena's Models.  While there are still scammers there, there can be no direct payment from an agency to the lady.  So fake profiles are not as common.

Jone......... what are you smoking????

Did you read the opening post???
Since it is a recommended site( cough, cough)....all talk has centered on guy/ girl, as it should always be 'irregardless' of the site used.

[jone]

Stick a sock in it, LA Man. 

I was following up on Faux Pas. 

Have you gone on the site in question?  I thought not.  (Probably did now!)

[LAman]

And having delved into the Pay Per Chat and Pay Per Letter sites when I was looking, it is no great harm to share your basic concerns.  If she ignores them, she is not for you, or she is Fat Yuri or Harry Boris running a profile.
    While there are many women on pay per letter and pay per chat sites, greater than 80% of these are there to make money.  You are looking for a needle in a haystack.   Shop, instead, at sites where you pay a monthly fee, such as Elena's Models.  While there are still scammers there, there can be no direct payment from an agency to the lady.  So fake profiles are not as common.

Stick a sock in it, LA Man. 

I was following up on Faux Pas. 

Have you gone on the site in question?  I thought not.  (Probably did now!)

Am I getting your attention, Jone??? Mind if I take out the sock for a sec????
Just who are you talking to with the "You" in first quote????

And which site are you talking about?? If Elena's, yea been there, to me, just a regular site nothing better or worse than any other.....

[amirovzky]

Welcome to the forum,


I've never passed on a woman because she's a 10 or much more attractive than I. Fortunately for men, they don't have to be a 10 in looks to catch a woman who is a 10 in looks. A guy could be a 10 in personality or character. He may be a 10 in his career and that is attractive to a lot of women who want a successful man.


What do you think your worth is? If you're not a 10 in any category, ask yourself why you haven't tried harder to get there. Someday you may be walking down the street with that gal who came straight out of a magazine and if you feel you're not worthy, she'll sense your lack of confidence and things will fall apart. If you two decide to meet, offer your arm when you walk down the street with her. She'll decide if you're worthy and if you are, you don't have to feel uncomfortable that she's out of your league. Men are much more likely look at her azz instead of yours when you two walk down the street. Can you handle that? If so, proceed with this lady.

great advice mister )) I like this

[Drew]

I've never passed on a woman because she's a 10 or much more attractive than I. Fortunately for men, they don't have to be a 10 in looks to catch a woman who is a 10 in looks. A guy could be a 10 in personality or character. He may be a 10 in his career and that is attractive to a lot of women who want a successful man.

Men don't pass on 10 women because they perceive themselves to be less than 10 in any category.

Men pass on 10 women because such women are by and large a PIA.

[ChickMagnet]

Hello all,

First post here and relatively new to this whole process.  I've lurked here for quite a while and have spent many hours reading through quite a few trip reports (ML, I/O, Lonedrake etc).  I'm really just looking for some input/advice from more experienced guys here.

I signed up at Elena's about 2 or so months ago and have been in contact with a few different ladies (maybe 10) but I'm mostly just focusing on 1 in particular right now. I know many of you advocate more than one but I've struck out with a few already and am okay with doing one at a time for now.  My biggest issue with the one I'm talking to now is her looks.  She looks like she walked right out of a magazine (slight exaggeration).  When I started I knew I wanted someone who is age appropriate (25-32) and also someone who is kind of in same ballpark in level of attractiveness.  I'm not a bad looking guy but I'm not out there pulling 10's either.  Any of you guys pass on a girl for being too attractive?  Feels silly typing that...

I'm a big fan of "if it's too good to be true, it probably is" but she's given me no reason to believe anything other than what she has said so far.

And finally, is it a waste of time to be searching in that area right now?  This particular girl is in Kherson which seems to be fairly close to much of the action.

Anyways, my name is Kevan.  I'm 32 and work for a tech company just outside of Seattle.  Go Hawks!

Appreciate any input.  Thanks!

Wow, now that's a dumb question. (just kidding). While teaching a class to adults, I told them there's no such thing as a stupid question so ask what you want. The first person who asked a question I said, "Now that's a stupid question." I let him know I was kidding but I saw a teacher do that once and thought it was hilarious.

As far as focusing on 1 lady, that's what I did. I made the trip to Russia to see one gal. And we are married today. I also thought to myself when I first saw her that "She's way too good-looking for me." Today when we're both looking in the mirror I tell her you have a good looking husband. I have to keep her thinking that.

I don't think RW put so much emphasis on a man's looks. There's no way I could get a lady as pretty as my wife in America. Financial security with some looks is what it's all about, and most of all, how you treat her.

[Chicagoguy]

10 years says a lot !

[scottiestevie]

Hey Kevan,
If I am correct you've never visited or spent any time in FSU, therefore your perception of 'too hot' is only based on what you've seen in print, on tv, magazine of the internet.

One advantage I've had is that I lived in Eastern Europe for more than a decade.  And everyday going to work in the morning or going out for the evening its the same view.  Incredibly well dress, naturally beautiful women all day long.  Its just the way it is over there.  I know , its hard to imagine and believe its true...but it is.

Maybe you know the Marvel comic book hero Wonder Women?  She is from an lost island (kind of like the city of Atlantis) only her home is called Paradise Island.   Only tall, fit, super strong amazon women live here and they are all gorgeous.  Thats kind of what its like when you walk to streets of a FSU city.

Even after 12 years of constant exposure to everyday beauty, when I went on my trip from the States to meet my wife for the first time and then pick her up for our trip back together after our engagement to NY some 6 months later, I would walk the streets of her home town in Kharkov and still be as marveled at the genetic beauties that never go out of style.

Bottom line, is if you've never been there, you'll have to wait till you actually do and seeing will be believing.

[jone]

While there are disproportionately hot women in Eastern Europe, don't make yourself into a drooling hound dog.  The reality is that there are many beautiful women, there are also many average women.  Those guys who go to Eastern Europe expecting to land this super hot woman and are past their prime, well, it just doesn't happen that much.

Don't buy the dream.  Go live there for yourself and form your own opinions.  Three summers ago, I lived in Kharkiv for a three week stint.  Loved the city, met lots of nice women.  Some were outrageously beautiful.  Some were very pretty.    But the average woman in Eastern Europe is no more or no less than the average Western Woman, no matter what people tell you.

Two summers ago, I lived in Mykolaiv for the summer.  With the intention of spending it with only one woman, I crashed and burned, only to find myself very lucky that I did.  I did date women in Mykolaiv, but was more interested in the people as a whole, not just one woman.   I spent time with a true beauty, but told her that I did not want to form a relationship as I had my heart minced for pie.    Now she is spending time with one of my friends. 

My point is that even if you find someone beautiful that is mismatched for you, especially in terms of age, you should tread very lightly.  Most women in Ukraine and Russia, as I have observed, already have love interests.  Only the ones who truly want to live abroad will even consider a foreigner.

Every website that advertises relationships with FSU Women paints a wonderful picture.  But few men hook up with women of young ages and even fewer survive to have long relationships.  Simply put, if you are a dweeb in the US, Canada, Down Under or the UK, you'll be a dweeb to these women.  They may want you for a mule or a meal ticket, but mostly they will use you and that will be all.  Look at yourself in a mirror.   If it looks like a woman is your daughter, don't be silly.  Find someone more age appropriate.

I know, reading this, many of you might think that I have had such experiences.  In a way yes.  But I did find my light at the end of the tunnel.  Udachi!

[RoboCop]

Hello all,

First post here and relatively new to this whole process.  I've lurked here for quite a while and have spent many hours reading through quite a few trip reports (ML, I/O, Lonedrake etc).  I'm really just looking for some input/advice from more experienced guys here.

I signed up at Elena's about 2 or so months ago and have been in contact with a few different ladies (maybe 10) but I'm mostly just focusing on 1 in particular right now. I know many of you advocate more than one but I've struck out with a few already and am okay with doing one at a time for now.  My biggest issue with the one I'm talking to now is her looks.  She looks like she walked right out of a magazine (slight exaggeration).  When I started I knew I wanted someone who is age appropriate (25-32) and also someone who is kind of in same ballpark in level of attractiveness.  I'm not a bad looking guy but I'm not out there pulling 10's either.  Any of you guys pass on a girl for being too attractive?  Feels silly typing that...

I'm a big fan of "if it's too good to be true, it probably is" but she's given me no reason to believe anything other than what she has said so far.

And finally, is it a waste of time to be searching in that area right now?  This particular girl is in Kherson which seems to be fairly close to much of the action.

Anyways, my name is Kevan.  I'm 32 and work for a tech company just outside of Seattle.  Go Hawks!

Appreciate any input.  Thanks!

I've met a few international romance couples, where the guy was not attractive at all, with a wife that was much more attractive than him. Two of them worked out, 3 of them eventually ended up in divorce. 2 out of 5 ain't bad.