Russian Women Discussion
RWD Discussion Groups => Introductions and Ice-Breaker => Topic started by: MoCowboy on February 02, 2009, 11:08:58 AM
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:cluebat:
Greetings!!
I belonged to this forum about 2006 i believe it was. I must say, I did learn a LOT! A lot of interesting, helpful, and useful information, and a lot from some men that had married women from the middle east. Sadly to say, I did not learn my lesson about american women.
So, send me a few smacks. I was a widower when i joined here, and believed the lies i was told by an american woman, and ended up scammed worse than anything i have read from any foreign scams!! Needless to say, the divorce is proceeding nicely as she faces some nice felony criminal charges. (embezzlement, perjury, etc.)
Anyways, I am back, and this time, to TRULY learn. When the time comes, i will seek my wife from eastern Europe. (Russia).
So, am back to square one. taking slow cautious baby steps. And starting all over from square one.
:cluebat:
Any suggestions?
I live in a small rural community, (4500) about 120 miles south of a major metropolis, (Kansas City) and 35 minutes from an actual city...(joplin)
I think my biggest obstacle i had before, was that i do live in a rural area. And most ladies are more used to larger cities. Where as, my business and family are here for at least the next 9 years.
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Welcome (again) Mocowboy.
Granted, most English speaking Russian ladies will be in/near the larger cities, but with a patient search, you can find exactly what you're looking for (and you'll be exactly what she's looking for).
The main problems, I think, that you will face by living in a rural area is that firstly, some ladies have a disdain for "Villages" and feel themselves superior, in education, in etiquette, etc., to those who live there. Secondly will be the isolation problem. If she's a social creature, she can feel isolated. Thirdly, she's used to being able to walk to the Supermarket, or catch public transportation so she'll go from being independent to completely dependent for a while and this can be a scary prospect. Stress the need for driving in America and the absolute necessity for learning how.
The perfect match for rural living would be a lady who is from a rural area there, however, you'll find there are other obstacles trying to find one matching you.
If she truly loves you... her home will be with you, not with a city.. however, you will have to take into consideration the situation from her side and take steps to make her life comfortable and fulfilled in your area.
Welcome aboard (again)
Dave
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The main problems, I think, that you will face by living in a rural area is that firstly, some ladies have a disdain for "Villages" and feel themselves superior, in education, in etiquette, etc., to those who live there.
This is a real issue that you will have to live with. It is true that city girls look down on people from villages. And even big towns in the US are considered as a village!
Sure, you might find a big city girl willing to move out to the country. But it will be difficult. So my recommendation is not to even fight it, but to focus your search on rural or remote areas in the fsu. I have one friend here who did just that, and she is happy now living here in the country with him on 25 acres of land, with no neighbors and the nearest store 15 minutes away by car. My wife would NOT be happy in that situation; she is from a city of a million and a half.
Good luck!
~Si
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Thank you Dave!!
I have thought many long hours on those very issues.
Currently, I do live in town. I do belong to several organizations here locally. I have spoken with some of the guys here I associate with, and fish, and go to lodge with etc. As well as their significant others. I must say, I do happen to have a great support system between friends and family here that have stated they would more than welcome a foreign woman, and would do everything they can to make her feel comfortable, and at home here. Such as family socials that are on average 4-5 a year. (where EVERYONE shows up...friends and family) and or anything she might need. I know and understand it would be quite a bit new, and a shock to her...but as i said, i have a great support system here. There is always something going on that I seem to be involved in. Activities, poker runs, (yes I drive a motorcycle also) charity events, etc.
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No Problem Mo, glad to help where I can.. but I must tell you that I'm not married and have NO experience as of yet first hand with the problems you can encounter in this situation. I'm good at finding ladies, but that's the extent of my real experience. I think you mostly need to listen to the advice of the married guys here (not that I'm completely full of crap, though I'm sure some would debate that point, but I just don't know nearly enough to really help you).
Simoni above, and others speak from experience of having made the transition. Their words can be golden treasures if you pay attention.
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So very true dave. So very true...
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MoCowboy
I would not worry about it ( unless you live in the middle of Big Sky country). When you start your search just be up front about where you live. Dont change your way of life for the women.
I think there is a big misconception about this issue from both the men and women.
Most of the women who have never been to the US don't understand the infrastructure it has. Most US cities of 200,000 or more have almost everything a huge city like Moscow offers. They dont realize you can live in the country and be in the downtown district of a large city in 30 minutes. You can live on a farm and make it to the opera house faster than they can get to the street, subway, train or vehicle in the burbs of Moscow.
Of course this is capable because of the automobile and good traffic flow. If they dont drive they must be willing to learn.
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Hello Mocowboy,
I wouldn't worry about it either. Like you, I'm from a small rural community about the same size of yours with a bigger city (about 100,000 people) 40 minutes away. My fiancee and I are in the K-1 visa process now. She's from Moscow and has lived there all her life. She has no problems with where we are going to live here and she's looking forward to a more laid back lifestyle and learning how to drive. She even likes to joke sometimes about moving to a "village".
I have showed her many photos and home movies of where I live so she would basically know what its like.
It's possible her perception of things could change after she arrives here, but I believe she loves me enough that it woudn't matter to her if we lived anywhere in the world. Every woman is different, but I believe it all comes down to the right woman for you. If you find the right woman, even in a big city like Moscow, I believe things like this won't really matter.
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Missouri Cowboy,
I do love rural Missouri. But I'm not an fsu girl.
My advice remains to look outside the cities of the FSU for your girl.
And BTW-- a town of 200,000 in the fsu is a village.
Cities are BIG there.
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Most of the women who have never been to the US don't understand the infrastructure it has.
Correct. You should have stopped there.
Most US cities of 200,000 or more have almost everything a huge city like Moscow offers.
Obviously, you have never spent time in Moscow.
You can live on a farm and make it to the opera house faster than they can get to the street, subway, train or vehicle in the burbs of Moscow.
Ditto (plus what's wrong with that picture...farm...opera house?). Actually, I found that few RW attend opera regularly.
My wife thinks Tampa Bay is a "lovely village" (Tampa SMSA population 1.5 million).
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Most US cities of 200,000 or more have almost everything a huge city like Moscow offers. They dont realize you can live in the country and be in the downtown district of a large city in 30 minutes. You can live on a farm and make it to the opera house faster than they can get to the street, subway, train or vehicle in the burbs of Moscow.
My wife is a native Muscovite and we live on the outskirts of Manhattan, and I still get complaints that Manhattan isn't half the city that Moscow is. I'm sure most of this is pride talking, but I will say that you're gravely mistaken if you think any Russian city dweller will find similar or equivalent offerings in small US cities.
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Keep in mind that the fsu cities are big, dense, and have mass transit. Girls typically living in block long buildings that house 300 families. The streets are filled with people, and activity.
Girls are used to hopping on a marshrutka and going to the city center to walk around, meet friends for coffee at a moment's notice, drop by their apt., etc.
Farm life is a FAR cry from this.
Good luck!
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I have showed her many photos and home movies of where I live so she would basically know what its like.
It's possible her perception of things could change after she arrives here, but I believe she loves me enough that it woudn't matter to her if we lived anywhere in the world.
Lee, congratulations on your engagement. It sounds as if you are explaining the situation correctly. I trust you did not tell her that she will find just a short drive away everything that she could find in Moscow.
She has no problems with where we are going to live here and she's looking forward to a more laid back lifestyle and learning how to drive.
Many of these RW have spent time at a dacha and some do enjoy that life. I suggest that she learn how to drive in Moscow and obtain her international driver's license. Having mobility is important to adjustment. Few RW will be content staying at home all day and watching squirrels. Also, I understand it really tests the strength of the marriage for a husband to teach a RW wife how to drive.
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Thank you Dave!!
I have thought many long hours on those very issues.
Currently, I do live in town. I do belong to several organizations here locally. I have spoken with some of the guys here I associate with, and fish, and go to lodge with etc. As well as their significant others. I must say, I do happen to have a great support system between friends and family here that have stated they would more than welcome a foreign woman, and would do everything they can to make her feel comfortable, and at home here. Such as family socials that are on average 4-5 a year. (where EVERYONE shows up...friends and family) and or anything she might need. I know and understand it would be quite a bit new, and a shock to her...but as i said, i have a great support system here. There is always something going on that I seem to be involved in. Activities, poker runs, (yes I drive a motorcycle also) charity events, etc.
It's great that you have so many activities in your small town to keep you interested and busy, but what is there for HER to do? What types of activities does she enjoy and are they available there? We are fortunate that our city library has a nice section of Russian language books and some local Russian shops. Are those things available anywhere near you? I don't know many RW who are content to just sit at home for long.
She may enjoy the family socials, but maybe not. My wife's entire extended family consists of only her parents, so she is unaccostumed to and a bit uncomfortable at my family gatherings (I come from a uite large family).
As much as everyone says they will welcome her and try to make her feel at home, you face a couple of dilemmas. One is that she might feel smothered initially. The other is that she may feel like she is in a zoo, with everyone wanting to get a look at "that Russian gal". Unless there are significant numbers of foreign women in your area, she will be a novelty, and she will feel this (not in a good way). I have spent time living in small towns and I know how many react to new people in town, especially if they are different in any way. If she is good looking in any way, there can be some jealousy among the local women who may feel threatened when seeing the husbands compare her to their own wive's meat and potatoes bodies.
No question it is more difficult in a small town and you have more obstacles to overcome. It just adds a few more challenges to her integration into her new life. If you are both committed to each other, though, these can be overcome. The number one thing you can do for her is to have patience and be supportive as she adjusts.
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Welcome! For what it is worth, I will share my personal experience. My wife came from a mid-sized city in Russia (roughly a quarter of a million people). My city is small (less than one hundred thousand). My wife never complains that the city is too small. Why? Well, she likes to do outdoor things. Yesterday, for example, we rented snowshoes and went on a trek through the forest. We went down one hill and went back up. All told, we spent two hours trekking through the snow and the forest. She loved it. It would be hard to do the same thing in Manhattan.
In the summer, I have over 100 km (60 miles) of bike trails behind my work that crisscross the forest. At first, my wife was nervous that we might meet some bears in the trails, but she quickly got over that and has taken up mountain biking with a passion. Likewise, we can drive an hour out of our city and find at least a dozen lakes where we can camp and hike and ride our bikes. Try to do that when you live in downtown Miami.
Simply put, not all RW are cut from the same cloth. Find a woman whose lifestyle and interests match yours. Find the woman who loves camping and gardening and avoid those whose first true love is shopping :rolleyes2: It can be done, it is a matter of knowing what to look for and what to avoid.
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Lee, congratulations on your engagement. It sounds as if you are explaining the situation correctly. I trust you did not tell her that she will find just a short drive away everything that she could find in Moscow.
Thank you Gator.
Actually the things she likes to do and the places she likes to visit is just a short drive away.
Many of these RW have spent time at a dacha and some do enjoy that life. I suggest that she learn how to drive in Moscow and obtain her international driver's license. Having mobility is important to adjustment. Few RW will be content staying at home all day and watching squirrels. Also, I understand it really tests the strength of the marriage for a husband to teach a RW wife how to drive.
I did suggest this to her at one time and she didn't want anything to do with it in Moscow. I can't blame her. I've been driving many, many years and I WOULD NOT attempt driving in Moscow Russia. People here think road rage is bad; they haven't seen road rage.
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Common' now Lee, you know that your Fiancee is going to miss the Moscow Metro, as you most certainly will(not)!! ;)
Oh... and the worst thing you can ever do to a relationship is teach your Wife to drive!! Leave this to the Professionals :)
Dave.
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I did suggest this to her at one time and she didn't want anything to do with it in Moscow. I can't blame her. I've been driving many, many years and I WOULD NOT attempt driving in Moscow Russia. People here think road rage is bad; they haven't seen road rage.
Yeah, and in Ukraine, I'm still not completely convinced they understand the actual concept of a road! Seems to be broadly defined at the very least. We call it a sidewalk - there it's a road. We call it a Playground -- well, there it's a road. We call it the 4th floor of an apartment building - there -- well you get the idea. We call it the Lunar Surface -- yep, you guessed it...
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Common' now Lee, you know that your Fiancee is going to miss the Moscow Metro, as you most certainly will(not)!! ;)
Hey Dave!
I hope to see you in Moscow again soon!
I've spent many miles on that metro, and it's not that bad unless you get caught at rush hour and they start pushing you out the other side >:(
Natasha?? I can say, lets go shopping, and her reply, "I don't want to ride the metro today". ;D
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The other is that she may feel like she is in a zoo, with everyone wanting to get a look at "that Russian gal".
:)
GOB
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Simply put, not all RW are cut from the same cloth. Find a woman whose lifestyle and interests match yours. Find the woman who loves camping and gardening and avoid those whose first true love is shopping :rolleyes2: It can be done, it is a matter of knowing what to look for and what to avoid.
And that's the trick. Which is why I first said to pay attention to the married guys who have made the transition already. Almost all the married guys are giving you the cautionary warning, while the ones who haven't made the transition yet (no offense guys) are giving you more of the rah rah, but really don't know first hand yet what'll really happen.
So, here's one example of a successful transition to a situation similar to your own, but she's from a smaller area more closely matching his. I'd pay close attention to this... really. Love is one thing when it's all fluffy and pink , but when reality sets in, "I can't live like this!" could be a real deal. Easier to find in big cities for sure, but perhaps it's better to trod off the beaten path.
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Hey Dave!
I hope to see you in Moscow again soon!
I've spent many miles on that metro, and it's not that bad unless you get caught at rush hour and they start pushing you out the other side >:(
Natasha?? I can say, lets go shopping, and her reply, "I don't want to ride the metro today". ;D
Lyndal, it was great seeing you once again in Moscow!
For those who don't know, Lee08 and I had hoped to meet one another at SVO II this past July. It was his first trip to the Motherland. Unfortunately we determined beforehand that our planes were going to land about 4 hours appart, so we gave up the idea. Well as it happened, two days later on one bright sunny July Saturday afternoon in Moscow, while Sveta and I were wandering around the the Souvenir stands in Red Square, I eyed a guy wearing a ballcap.. well baseball caps aren't really that common in Russia! I had no clue what Lee08' looked like.... So I went over to this guy and stood beside him trying to hear what language he was speaking to the vendors.... no luck, he said nothing. He was with a cute blonde haired girl who seemed to be guiding him around... I walked away frustrated and I said to Sveta, "I think that's Lyndal over there with that girl"! She said, "Dave how could it be with so many thousands of people here, but you know Dave, he definitely looks like a Tourist and even American??!!" Then she said, "Dave are you going to travel 7000km from Canada, see a guy that might be Lyndal and walk away never knowing it?!! She was of course right.... So, I walked back up to this stranger and said, "ahem Lee08... ah Lyndal from RWD?!?" Well this guy just froze and slowly looked around at me... "Dave?? ", he said quietly.... lol! Geeze, I don't think the two of us could believe it! One of the first things he asked me was if he stood out so obvious as an American! Of course I said no! ;) Then he went on to describe how he was pulled over, just minutes before, by the militia in Red Square and asked for his Passport and Registration!! Being a weekend he didn't have his Registration. They tried to give him a hard time but his Fiancee Natasha, the blonde, put them in their place!
Well, sorry to hijack this Thread... but I thought I should sometime tell this ironic story!!
Lee08, Lyndal, has since spent an amazing amount of time in Moscow since that first visit and has in fact visited a Russian Military Base without a Passport!!! But, I'll let Lyndal tell that incredible story!! Take Care Lyndal!!
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two days later on one bright sunny July Saturday afternoon in Moscow, while Sveta and I were wandering around the the Souvenir stands in Red Square, I eyed a guy wearing a ballcap.. well baseball caps aren't really that common in Russia! I had no clue what Lee08' looked like.... So I went over to this guy and stood beside him trying to hear what language he was speaking to the vendors.... no luck, he said nothing. He was with a cute blonde haired girl who seemed to be guiding him around... I walked away frustrated and I said to Sveta, "I think that's Lyndal over there with that girl"! She said, "Dave how could it be with so many thousands of people here, but you know Dave, he definitely looks like a Tourist and even American??!!" Then she said, "Dave are you going to travel 7000km from Canada, see a guy that might be Lyndal and walk away never knowing it?!! She was of course right.... So, I walked back up to this stranger and said, "ahem Lee08... ah Lyndal from RWD?!?" Well this guy just froze and slowly looked around at me... "Dave?? ", he said quietly.... lol! Geeze, I don't think the two of us could believe it! One of the first things he asked me was if he stood out so obvious as an American! Of course I said no! ;)
Hey Dave!!
You told the story quite well. It was crazy all of us running into each other that day. What was the chance? I've since been playing the lottery. :D But no luck yet. I'm going to need it after all these trips to Moscow. :o
Lee08, Lyndal, has since spent an amazing amount of time in Moscow since that first visit and has in fact visited a Russian Military Base without a Passport!!! But, I'll let Lyndal tell that incredible story!! Take Care Lyndal!!
Oh geez, I'm trying to forget about that! I had no idea Natasha and her father were "sneeking me in" to visit her grandmother that lived on the base. I never been so nervous in my life, especially after I learned my passport was in Natasha's purse that she left at her Mother's flat! And all of this had to happen during the Georgia conflict ordeal. Thank God I made it out!! To you CIA members that may be here, I saw nothing!!! 8)
Talk to you soon Dave! I'm heading back to Moscow this Friday!!
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Love is one thing when it's all fluffy and pink , but when reality sets in, "I can't live like this!" could be a real deal. Easier to find in big cities for sure, but perhaps it's better to trod off the beaten path.
OK after my last "soiree" with the "Anointed Ones" I was going to try and lay low, BUT, this topic has peaked my interest, so here goes.
I have seen, personally both sides of this "fence" (BIG CITY/small city). I don't have any empirical data to back up anything I am saying but I have countless encounters with RW/UW from my area and almost 4 great years of marriage to a wonderful RW.
I can state for the most part what Daveman is saying is TRUE.
Location, location, location is an important factor in choosing your lifetime mate.
Not only her location, but your location.
My wife is from Omsk. The population in Omsk is over 1 million.
Marina would not be happy in a farmhouse in the middle of Idaho. And yet another woman, a friend, who came from the same city as my wife is OK living in the Midwest, as a matter of fact the last 3 years she has been quite happy.
But on the other hand I have come in contact with several divorced RW/UW here in N. Miami and almost ALL of them have "migrated" from smaller cities to this area. Some have actually told me that besides their husbands "Bad Behavior" the location of his residence (village) was another factor in their decision to leave. To quote some of them: "I felt isolated from the world".
I guess what I am trying to tell anybody who is reading this. Be very careful and completely honest with the women you meet in the FSU.
Pictures and videos will NOT prepare her for the culture shock she is about to experience when she reaches your particular city.
I will say this also, keep your wife BUSY. As soon as she gets her "sea legs" under her, give her things to do (not just housework). It may sound silly but buy her a bicycle with a basket (my wife rode the back tire BALD on hers). Get her started on driving ASAP, show her your local library, take her to the YMCA, do as much as you can to keep her MIND and BODY busy.
If she just sits at home all day, there will be troubles on the horizon.
And for God sakes, if you get into deep trouble with your RW DON'T WAIT UNTIL IT IS TO LATE. Come here to RWD and PM somebody.
Yes you may have friends and relatives that know a lot about relationships, but ask yourself this: "Do they know anything about RW"?
There is years of experience on this forum and you never know, somebody here might be able to help you.
GOB
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OK after my last "soiree" with the "Anointed Ones" I was going to try and lay low, BUT, this topic has peaked my interest, so here goes.
I hope newbies do listen to those who have been there, done that.
It would be a BIG mistake to try to take a lady out of a big FSI city (and they are almost always big), and put her into small town America. Culture shock is a big enough factor already, without compounding it with isolation.
Consider this:
Girls are used to hopping on a marshrutka and going to the city center to walk around, meet friends for coffee at a moment's notice, drop by their apt., etc.
Girls in the FSU are used to easy access to friends and services. Here in the USA, you have to work at it. Also, FSU girls just don't "get it" about America's obsession with cars. Why does everyone drive a private car rather than walking or using mass transit? It takes several years to adjust to the American mindset.
Misha shared his story; I think I should share the flipside of it:
My girl almost lost her mind the first year in the states, and we lived in a metro area of 4.5 million. But it was too spread out, and she totally did not like the poor excuse that buses are for mass transit. We lived in a nice gated community, with the skyline visible just 3 miles away. She complained about the lack of crowds and the absence of sidewalks when she went for walks outside the gated community. She said we lived "in a village."
Now we live in the city center, and all is well. We live in a condo with 250 families, and have dozens of restaurants within 3 blocks. There are three theaters within a quarter mile walking distance, and a 5 mile embankment along the sea for walks.
She is happy, so I am happy.
I don't think I could ever move her to a rural area. All I'm saying is that I think she is typical of girls who live in fsu cities.
Thus, choose wisely and be sure they understand what they are marrying into. OP, I'm not saying you should change your surroundings. You should not. I am saying you might strongly consider a girl who currently lives in surroundings similar to yours. Thus, get far away from the big cities and concentrate your search there.
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GOB, excellent post, but you need to consider that some here have earned the right to be called "the annointed ones" Don't discount the title. Of course it is up to you INDIVIDUALLY to decide who has earned the right to be called annointed and who hasn't, but some here know others better than you and value their experience and wisdom and choose to endow the annointed title on them. To label the annointed as those who agree with your opinion and deride those who disagree with your opinion by using the term in a derogatory fashion isn't the proper approach.
Of course some here consider themselves the ultimate authority on certain topics, and they deserve to be questioned. As for myself. I have no experience with agencies, WMVM vs WOVO, travel in Russia, or K-1's, so I don't consider myself an expert in any way on these topics and I understand if someone takes my opinion with a grain of salt, but on the topics of living in Ukraine, the opinions of the average Ukrainian woman, travel in Ukraine, the CR-1 process, transition of an FSUW to the US, etc. I personally feel that I have some valid ideas to offer and if some choose to label me as "an annointed one, so be it. If they choose to use the term in a derogatory fashion with me in an area that I feel I do have some significant experience in, to be honest, I will view them as someone who is close-minded and is searching for anyone who will agree with their view, no matter how limited.
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It would be a BIG mistake to try to take a lady out of a big FSI city (and they are almost always big), and put her into small town America. Culture shock is a big enough factor already, without compounding it with isolation.
I guess your saying that I'm making a big mistake to. ???
Well you don't know me and you don't know her. Doesn't matter if she is a RW.
I don't want to sound rude to you but all women are different and it's possible to find a woman in a big city like Moscow that may like it in small town america. I believe that I did.
I have spent more time with my lady than probably most of you have before you brought them over and that's what it takes to get to know someone.
I'm sorry, I don't have the marriage experience to a RW yet, but I just don't believe the advice about trying to find a woman in the same size town as your own.
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I guess your saying that I'm making a big mistake to. ???
Well you don't me and you don't know her. Doesn't matter if she is a RW.
I don't want to sound rude to you but all women are different and it's possible to find a woman in a big city like Moscow that may like it in small town america. I believe that I did.
I have spent more time with my lady than probably most of you have before you brought them over and that's what it takes to get to know someone.
I'm sorry, I don't have the marriage experience to a RW yet, but I just don't believe the advice about trying to find a woman in the same size town as your own.
Lee, you are exactly right. I don't know you and my advice cannot generalize to all people.
However, I think the percentages strongly support what I am saying.
And Lee, until you have lived with a girl in the US for a few years, I'll have to take your words with a grain of salt.
Spending time with them on vacations or living with them for three months in their home environments is nothing like living with them in the US.
I suggest the OP take the advice that most of the married guys here are providing--
"don't move a big city girl to rural USA."
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I don't want to sound rude to you but all women are different and it's possible to find a woman in a big city like Moscow that may like it in small town america. I believe that I did.
But your lady is not "really" from Moscow... ?
Her roots are much different?
My special lady is from the Krasnodar Region of Russia, but now has lived in Moscow for one year.
Lee, no argument intended. I'm just saying that you can "take the girl out of the city, but you can't take the city out of the girl."
The OP should stay of out Moscow, St. Pete, Kiev and such if he wants to find someone who will be happy in rural Missouri. And when you really love someone, you will want them to be happy.
Have a great trip to Moscow, Lee. I wish you and your lady all the best.
~Si
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But your lady is not "really" from Moscow... ?
Her roots are much different?
Lee, no argument intended. I'm just saying that you can "take the girl out of the city, but you can't take the city out of the girl."
My lady is from Moscow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Born there!!!!!!!!!!!! Lived there all her life!!!!!!!!!!
When I made this post last year it was about another woman before I met my current finacee in April 2008. Geezzzz!!! :wallbash:
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My lady is from Moscow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Born there!!!!!!!!!!!! Lived there all her life!!!!!!!!!!
When I made this post last year it was about another woman before I met my current finacee in April 2008. Geezzzz!!!
Super! LOL :D
How things changed between March 2008 and April 2008 for you.
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Hi,
Kool...Hope your relationship works out and everything is what you both hope for.
Makkin
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I suggest the OP take the advice that most of the married guys here are providing--
"don't move a big city girl to rural USA."
I would say it depends on the woman. There is no guarantee that a woman from a Russian village or small city wants to live in rural USA. She may want to marry a foreigner to escape her village and move to a city as she could not afford to move to Kiev, St. Pete or Moscow on her own. Likewise, it is possible that a woman from a large city would prefer a more peaceful life in a small town. Yes, perhaps it will only be a minority of the women in a big city that would be happy in a small town in the USA, but a man does not want to marry the majority of women, just one exception who will be happy with him.
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My lady is from Moscow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Born there!!!!!!!!!!!! Lived there all her life!!!!!!!!!!
When I made this post last year it was about another woman before I met my current finacee in April 2008. Geezzzz!!! :wallbash:
Lee, no one has suggested that your relationship is doomed to fail. However, GOB's excellent post above and Simoni's words of advice should simply give you some food for thought. What would you do, if even after all the "I want to be away from the city", all that stuff - if after 6 months of marriage she states flatly "I don't want to live here?", would you be prepared to uproot and move to a more populated area? Would you argue with her that you had sent photos and videos so she needs to just deal with it? What would you do? Just some thoughts not really requiring answers. Currently she really has no idea what it will be like. Perhaps she thinks she will love it, but what if she doesn't? She really has only her imagination to work with in this situation. Love is wonderful but the phrase that it "conquers all" is an absolute myth.
What the guys are saying is that it's BEST to match your surroundings with hers for the least amount of potential problems (with location), but if you do look/find a mate in a big city (which you have) that you will have some extra preparation and homework to do, and possibly some rough spots in the future to be prepared for in advance.
These are the golden treasures I was sure would come to this thread. It really is worth taking seriously.
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... it is possible that a woman from a large city would prefer a more peaceful life in a small town. Yes, perhaps it will only be a minority of the women in a big city that would be happy in a small town in the USA, but a man does not want to marry the majority of women, just one exception who will be happy with him.
That is true. But why focus your search in a city of millions when you want a girl who will enjoy the country? Much better to get out of the cities in your search. That way, you won't be looking for an "exception."
Dave says it clearly here...
... it's BEST to match your surroundings with hers for the least amount of potential problems (with location), but if you do look/find a mate in a big city (which you have) that you will have some extra preparation and homework to do, and possibly some rough spots in the future ...
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Lee, no one has suggested that your relationship is doomed to fail.
I know that but I think it's a mistake to tell the OP he doesn't have a chance with a woman in a large city. I did it, so can he.
Misha made an excellent point in the above post. It totally depends on the woman.
What would you do, if even after all the "I want to be away from the city", all that stuff - if after 6 months of marriage she states flatly "I don't want to live here?", would you be prepared to uproot and move to a more populated area? Would you argue with her that you had sent photos and videos so she needs to just deal with it? What would you do? Just some thoughts not really requiring answers. Currently she really has no idea what it will be like. Perhaps she thinks she will love it, but what if she doesn't? She really has only her imagination to work with in this situation.
Love is wonderful but the phrase that it "conquers all" is an absolute myth.
I have faith and a belief in her that this will never happen. It's all about knowing the person you're going to marry and the commitment you make to each other. I believe true love does conquer all.
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I know that but I think it's a mistake to tell the OP he doesn't have a chance with a woman in a large city. I did it, so can he.
Well I'm not sure what you've actually done thus far. As far as I can see you've found love, and that's nothing to scoff at, but you haven't experienced the reality of moving her to where you are.
Misha made an excellent point in the above post. It totally depends on the woman.
Indeed he did. And yes it does.
I have faith and a belief in her that this will never happen. It's all about knowing the person you're going to marry and the commitment you make to each other. I believe true love does conquer all.
But doesn't True Love also include the willingness to compromise for your partner's happiness? Just having the belief that she won't have a different outlook after her arrival doesn't make it a absolute future reality.
Divorce court is full of romantics. I simply think it's a good idea to blend romanticism with good sense. Be prepared as best you can.
I agree Love conquers Something, just not sure if it's all. ;D ;D
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I think about this scenario a lot. I do not live in a Rural setting, but in the Northern most outpost of the Dallas Metroplex. Dallas is not New york City, and is spread out. I am pretty sure if you take the DFW Metroplex it is about the size of my home state of Massachusetts.
I spend time in NYC, and it is closer to the FSU city set up. A lot of people in NYC will not want to live anywhere but there. It is different, therefore it is a real consideration in this pursuit.
I hear a lot of comments from FSUW that the Dallas Metroplex is a village in their mind. That is the reality of the situation. My friends wife came from the city, and now lives in the burbs of Baltimore. She is as happy as a clam, but other women in the new environment hate it.
It becomes a matter of compromise, where can you both find happiness. A happy wife is a happy home. I find it near impossible to even explain where I live as a reference point in Ukraine.
If I can not explain it well IMO, then it is only right to take into consideration that a move may be in order. Even if you can explain, video tape, and photograph your home. That does not mean you can say that it is the same as living there.
If someone is not happy, they do not need to justify it. They do need to help each other find a way to be happy.
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I know that but I think it's a mistake to tell the OP he doesn't have a chance with a woman in a large city. I did it, so can he.
Misha made an excellent point in the above post. It totally depends on the woman.
I have faith and a belief in her that this will never happen. It's all about knowing the person you're going to marry and the commitment you make to each other. I believe true love does conquer all.
I have to agree with Lee; these sweeping generalisations about a big city girl not wanting to live in a small town are just that, sweeping generalisations. FSU women are just as much individuals as any other and each should be taken as they are not lumped in with these silly stereotypes.
My girl is from a medium sized city of 300,000, and has lived for a number of years in Moscow too and yet she is ecstatic about coming to live in my house 10 minutes drive from the centre of a small town of 25,000. And yes, she's already lived here for 3 months so she's fully aware of what it's like to live here.
I will agree that not all women want to live in a small town and city life and/or apartment life suits them much more but really, making assumptions because they already live in a city or in a rural area is just plain silly.
One thing is for sure though, these things should be discussed and explained before anyone commits to anything, and as far as I'm concerned, Lee has done an admirable job of that.
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That is true. But why focus your search in a city of millions when you want a girl who will enjoy the country? Much better to get out of the cities in your search. That way, you won't be looking for an "exception."
Because you will be looking for an exception in the small cities and the countryside. The fact of the matter is that no matter where you look a woman moving to a new country will be leaving her home and family. She will be leaving all that is known and comfortable to her. Even if you take the woman from downtown Moscow and put her in downtown Manhattan it still won't be her home. Yes, some things will be more familiar, but it will still be different. It will still require time to adapt and to adjust. That is why I believe you must look at the woman and not the city. Some women are more open to change and you must look for a woman that shares similar goals, interests, values, outlook on life, etc.... I do agree that it might be easier to find an exception in a small city if you are from a small city, but it would me misleading to believe that all women from small cities in Russia want to live in small cities once they arrive in their small cities or "villages" in the USA.
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We seem to have two sides here. The ones who have actually had a RW live with them for awhile with few exceptions are saying it's not impossible, but more difficult to find a RW from a large city who will be happy living in the rural US in the longterm (note I said longterm) and suggest that one be aware of the added obstacles and either avoid them or at least try to understand and prepare for them.
We have several on the other side who have never had a RW come to live with them but are adamant that it doesn't matter because they have spent a few weeks with her and they know her so well, or she has seen photos and videos of where he lives and says it looks wonderful, or in one case because she had an extended vacation of three months with him.
There's just way too much denial here. There are way too many here in whatever phase of the game who think they are the exception and that their woman or their case is different. Sure all people and all cases are different, but the general rules still apply and if one thinks he can ignore them out of the belief hope that their love is stronger or their understanding of the situation is somehow better than the ones who have actually been there, he is in for a very rough road.
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Any suggestions?
I live in a small rural community, (4500) about 120 miles south of a major metropolis, (Kansas City) and 35 minutes from an actual city...(joplin)
I think my biggest obstacle i had before, was that i do live in a rural area. And most ladies are more used to larger cities. Where as, my business and family are here for at least the next 9 years.
Misourri Cowboy asked a simple question above. He states that in his last romance that his location was a problem, and asks for suggestions. My advice, and the advice of others, is to look outside of cities where girls are used to an active city life, filled with girlfriends and shopping and movies and dining. He needs a country girl, IMHO. But when we advise him to look outside of the city, we get a story or two about girls from the city who love (or will love) rural life. Missouri Cowboy needs to realize that if he follows the advice of some posters here and looks for a girl in the city, he will be faced with her making an even bigger adjustment. So, why go there? There are lots of wonderful girls who live off the beaten path. Search there.
I think about this scenario a lot. I do not live in a Rural setting, but in the Northern most outpost of the Dallas Metroplex. Dallas is not New york City, and is spread out. I am pretty sure if you take the DFW Metroplex it is about the size of my home state of Massachusetts.
I hear a lot of comments from FSUW that the Dallas Metroplex is a village in their mind. That is the reality of the situation.
And you live in the nation's 4th largest metroplex, with almost 6 million people. http://news.dallaschamber.org/e_article000627438.cfm?x=b11,0,w
That is a far cry from the OPs rural situation. I do know one fsu girl who lives near you, and she loves the area. But then again, she came from a Russian city about two hours out of Moscow, so she is used to traveling to get to the heart of things. I think you will be fine, Diplomacy. After all, you are very diplomatic :-) And both of us realize you will have extra work to do to make her happy.
...I think it's a mistake to tell the OP he doesn't have a chance with a woman in a large city. I did it, so can he.
First of all, with all due respect, my advice is to Missouri Cowboy, and not to you. He has a clean slate, so why not search in areas of the fsu that are similar to the rural area he wants to relocate her to? Second, I cringe when you say "I did it, so can he." Congrats to you, but consider these two factors: 1) you have not "done it yet," since she still has to adjust from city life to rural life, in addition to the other cultural adjustments; 2) perhaps you are the exception to the rule? If so, why force the OP into a longshot with your advice?
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I do agree that it might be easier to find an exception in a small city if you are from a small city, but it would me misleading to believe that all women from small cities in Russia want to live in small cities once they arrive in their small cities or "villages" in the USA.
This is true of course. Big cities are full of village girls who want to escape small towns. Scott has already posted to this effect several pages back.
My point continues to be that if you have a choice in where you search, and OP does, why not search in a similar area to where he lives? There will be enough other adjustments to make; why add missing the crowds and metro and girl friends and movies, etc. to the list?
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My advice, and the advice of others, is to look outside of cities where girls are used to an active city life, filled with girlfriends and shopping and movies and dining. He needs a country girl, IMHO.
Simoni, the problem that I see is that you are making a a false assumption that city life is filled with girlfriends and excitement in the FSU and village/small city life is dull and unbearable. The fact of the matter is that women in small cities will often socialize more than women in the big cities. It is hard to believe, but even small cities in Russia have some shopping and cafes. Also, most Russians whether they are in villages or the metropolis tend to visit each other at their homes as opposed to going to movies and dining out.
As such, a woman from a small city or town is used to having a circle of friends that she can meet daily. She will also be going out with her friends at the drop of a hat. I would argue that they do this even more than the women in the big cities as meeting friends in big cities requires more time given transportation issues.
Many of the women who work in Moscow commute hours each day, for example. When they arrive home exhausted after a full days work and travelling on the metro, the buses and the trains to distant small cities in the Moscow Oblast, the last thing they want to do is jump back on the train/bus/metro and go downtown to meet some friends :rolleyes2:
I do agree with the point that you are making, just critical of your apparent dichotomy which is big city = excitement and small town = dull and dreary. I would say that that the woman from a small town going to a small town in the USA will feel even more alienated than the woman from a big city. She will have left behind quite often a much tighter circle of friends and family than many (not all) women living in the big cities.
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I must say, I do happen to have a great support system between friends and family here that have stated they would more than welcome a foreign woman, and would do everything they can to make her feel comfortable, and at home here. Such as family socials that are on average 4-5 a year. (where EVERYONE shows up...friends and family) and or anything she might need.
Just my experience, but you might want to be really careful about lining up a support network and friends for your wife prior to her arrival. She may not know it now, but at some point shortly after her arrival she'll become aware of the extra scrutiny she receives from your friends and neighbors, and it may make her very self-conscious. It would be a wonderful world if people could truly embrace her from the beginning, but there are too many tales of green card girls or abusive, controlling husbands in the public conscience. Like it or not, most people will cast a "wait and see" eye on her and as much as you might want to protect her from this knowledge, she'll eventually understand it and grow tired from the scrutiny.
In our case, my wife felt truly uncomfortable around some of my casual friends. I realize I'm extrapolating but it seemed to me these friends were wary of her intentions or simply disapproved of our union. Whatever the reason, these people are no longer part of our lives.
The best support network for your wife - after you, of course - is giving her the freedom and means to make her own friends. If she truly loves you her friends will be your friends too. IMHO this issue takes on greater importance due to the fact that when she arrives, she'll be totally dependent on you - don't expect gratitude for this, as sometimes you're Public Enemy #1 simply for this very fact. Straddling the line of giving her an environment in which to learn and grow versus being a preachy know-it-all is much more difficult than you may expect.
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Simoni, the problem that I see is that you are making a a false assumption that city life is filled with girlfriends and excitement in the FSU and village/small city life is dull and unbearable. The fact of the matter is that women in small cities will often socialize more than women in the big cities.
I do agree with the point that you are making, just critical of your apparent dichotomy which is big city = excitement and small town = dull and dreary. I would say that that the woman from a small town going to a small town in the USA will feel even more alienated than the woman from a big city. She will have left behind quite often a much tighter circle of friends and family than many (not all) women living in the big cities.
Michael, my advice is to the OP, and he does not even live in a small city, but in a rural community. Read his post... "I live in a small rural community, (4500) about 120 miles south of a major metropolis, (Kansas City) and 35 minutes from an actual city...(joplin):
Having lived many years in a "community" of less than 5,000, I'm well aware of the positives and negatives of this life. And having dated many fsu women over the past years, I'm also very aware of how they feel about "the village."
I have to disagree with your first point above. With less than 4,000 people spread over a 50 K area, there likely is much less socialization. There just aren't as many people of like age and interest to socialize with.
I did not say small town = dull and dreary. I will say small town = remote and less to do.
Now, if the OP is willing to marry a woman his age (35) who has children, that might help. But even at that, the children had better be young, or they will miss the city, too.
We will have to disagree on this issue.
I think it is a no-brainer to recommend to him to search for a woman outside of the big metro areas of Moscow, St. Pete, and Kiev.
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One element that is also a factor in whether or not she'll be happy where you live is your fiancee's stage in life. A younger woman will likely want to go out more and she'll get to tap into the sweet vein of envy (this is often not mentioned but never, ever underestimate it's pull) when she tells her friends that she's going to live in Chicago or Montreal or San Francisco. A more mature woman may put less stock in such matters.
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I did not say small town = dull and dreary. I will say small town = remote and less to do.
Have you ever been to a Russian village? Your dichotomy is still false. True, villages can be remote, but that does not mean there is less to do. Yes, there might be less shopping, but there is more to life than shopping :rolleyes2: I have known many women in small towns, not women that I dated just friends, that had very busy and active lives. They always had something to do.
Now, if the OP is willing to marry a woman his age (35) who has children, that might help. But even at that, the children had better be young, or they will miss the city, too.
Everybody will miss something. Even the children of the hypothetical 35 year old woman from the smallest and remote Russian village will miss their village too. Heck, I miss the Russian villages and wish I could visit some of my friends there and go to the banya 8)
I think it is a no-brainer to recommend to him to search for a woman outside of the big metro areas of Moscow, St. Pete, and Kiev.
Simoni, you are speaking from your experience which is fine. However, what was true for you won't be true for everybody, and likewise what was true for me won't be true for all as well. I simply believe that there are no magic formulas for success and that the one thing that a man must do is truly know the woman that he intents on marrying. The OWW from a big city marrying a woman from a big city is not guaranteed success simply because he looked in the right place.
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A younger woman will likely want to go out more and she'll get to tap into the sweet vein of envy (this is often not mentioned but never, ever underestimate it's pull) when she tells her friends that she's going to live in Chicago or Montreal or San Francisco. A more mature woman may put less stock in such matters.
Not always. Some 50 and 60 year old women are just as obsessed by status. Again, comes back to knowing the woman. A woman who has a need to impress her friends will be like this long before meeting any foreigner.
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IMHO this issue takes on greater importance due to the fact that when she arrives, she'll be totally dependent on you - don't expect gratitude for this, as sometimes you're Public Enemy #1 simply for this very fact. Straddling the line of giving her an environment in which to learn and grow versus being a preachy know-it-all is much more difficult than you may expect.
Amen Brother.
I caught myself doing this in my relationship.
Russian women EXPECT you to behave like a "Man" and do everything without gratitude.
Actually my wife feels I should be the grateful one, since she came to me. ;D
GOB
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Groov- You brought up some great points here. My friend warned me about the situations they had to endure with friends and family. I do not know if this helps anyone, but it is worth mentioning.
I have included my family in some phone conversations, and they are very anxious at this point for them to both arrive. My family is very concerned about her father's health. My Mother mailed a letter and some pictures of all the family.
Her family celebrated the birth of my niece, with me on the last trip. My Sister included my Son in a collage of all the grand children, she made for my Mom for Christmas. My Mom is proud of my fiance, and how smart she is. My Mother can not even imagine being able to progress English that fast.
It was very cool, when we had both Mother's on the phone. Both Mothers, were amazed at us both conversing in another language. Mind you,my Russian is barely short sentences at this point. My mother insisted, she must talk to my fiance's Mother. My mother wanted to make sure my fiance's Mother was OK, dealing with the fact her husband was very sick.
In the end, both families know that this is a very good and a healthy relationship. Was there a "wait and see" attitude at the start? Yes, but I think the actions of both families prove we are beyond that.
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Have you ever been to a Russian village?
Yes.
Yes, there might be less shopping, but there is more to life than shopping.
Shocking words to many women! :-)))
I miss the Russian villages and wish I could visit some of my friends there and go to the banya 8)
Big cities have banyas too.
Simoni, you are speaking from your experience which is fine. However, what was true for you won't be true for everybody, and likewise what was true for me won't be true for all as well. I simply believe that there are no magic formulas for success and that the one thing that a man must do is truly know the woman that he intents on marrying. The OWW from a big city marrying a woman from a big city is not guaranteed success simply because he looked in the right place.
Make experience plural. Having visited small cities and big places like Kiev and Moscow, I have seen the contrasts. I do know that even when I visited Zhitomir Ukraine, my girl there wanted to take me to Kiev. Small town girls want to go to the city; city girls do not want to move to a village. That is a generalization, sure. But it is rooted in the reality of the majority view.
I agree that there is no magic formula for success and that the most important thing in a relationship is knowing the woman you intend to marry. So we can agree on that much.
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I agree that there is no magic formula for success and that the most important thing in a relationship is knowing the woman you intend to marry. So we can agree on that much.
I wish to God there was one (magic formula for success).
But then....there wouldn't be any need for RWD. :)
GOB
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Big cities have banyas too.
Nothing like a real banya's in the villages made of logs, burning real firewood, where you can step outside and look at the horizon...
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Nothing like a real banya's in the villages made of logs, burning real firewood, where you can step outside and look at the horizon...
I was looking at the sexy girl I was with! Darn- I missed the view of the horizon! :D LOL
How shallow of me!!! :o
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Simoni
Where I live is on the long list of things, that I have no idea what happens until they are here for a while. Your wife talked to my friend, I think we can agree my friend is happy. Getting their life to happy, was anything but easy. I have though, put a lot of thought into a lot of matters. I do not care where I live, I will find a way to be happy pretty much anywhere.
I grew up in a small town, went to college in the big city, and now live in the burbs. Each place has its merits and offers a good life, each place I was happy there. Life is what you make of it. I made the life I have, with myself in mind. I am adding people to it, and therefor revisiting a lot of things at this point.
Rest of Forum
Frame of reference, for many of us is personal. You are talking about their friends and family. The people of the FSU, do not just invite people into their home. It is an honor to be invited. Any one of us is giving advice from a personal frame of reference. It is fair to say that there is a stigma to living in a village if you are a "city slicker" in the FSU. Does everyone feed into that stigma? No, but that does not change the fact it exists
There is a lot of other factors to get into with this. They are very specific to the person too. What do they enjoy doing? What is their day like?
I will reference my personal point of reference.
You can not tell me that a village has near the level of entertainment, that saw Moscow has. Moscow has better Museums, that will get new and better exhibits. Moscow will have much more professional and higher caliber theater, opera, and ballet.
There is a huge difference between reading a book about something, and experiencing it. I like to read a book, then experience it.
New York has the best of all of this for me. I do not want to live there. Why?
I have many facets to my life. I like to go out into the great outdoors, and enjoy being in nature.
Now, I am an hour away from Lake Texoma. A 98,000 acre playground, for someone like me. No ocean, but a much lower cost of living, no income tax, and a slower pace of life. It was Striped bass, my favorite fish to catch in the Ocean. Great hunting, and a lot of places to hunt.
The community I bought my home in is a resort. Has pools, water slides, parks, ball fields, hike and bike trails, dog park, community center, school is within walking distance, it is safe and nice.
I travel every other week for work, so I am 1 hour from the airport.
All of this, is the reason I bought the house where I did. I found a person that has a lot of the same interests and passions. Some things sound great in theory, reality is not here yet for me. It may go great, it may take a lot of change to make everyone happy. I have no idea.
I have prepared for the worst, and am expecting the best.
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And as a Cowboy fan, and a lover of TexMex, I'd rather live where you live! ;)
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Common' now Lee, you know that your Fiancee is going to miss the Moscow Metro, as you most certainly will(not)!! ;)
Oh... and the worst thing you can ever do to a relationship is teach your Wife to drive!! Leave this to the Professionals :)
Dave.
This suggestion needs to be pinned somewhere on the from RWD page. I tried to give my girlfriend a driving lesson when she was here visiting last summer, and it took years off my life. Even though she has a driver's license in Russia, it was simply more than my nerves could handle when I realized she thought posted speed limits and traffic signals were merely suggestions, or the fact that people in the crosswalks were supposed to get out of her way. I live in a small town of 25,000 people. The cops pull you out of the car and taser you for stuff like that.
Fortunately when she moves here permanently in a few months, I've convinced her that a formal driving course will be required. :)
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First of all, with all due respect, my advice is to Missouri Cowboy, and not to you. He has a clean slate, so why not search in areas of the fsu that are similar to the rural area he wants to relocate her to? Second, I cringe when you say "I did it, so can he." Congrats to you, but consider these two factors: 1) you have not "done it yet," since she still has to adjust from city life to rural life, in addition to the other cultural adjustments; 2) perhaps you are the exception to the rule? If so, why force the OP into a longshot with your advice?
I have done it. I was referring to the fact that I found someone, found love, and she's willing to relocate for us.
I don't think there are any rules and it's a longshot no matter where you find someone.
The problem I had which is another discussion entirely was most of the women I contacted in smaller cities or "villages" did not speak good enough english for me and that was the number one requirement for myself. Luckily I found someone that speaks very good english in the big city of Moscow. I think little or no english would be a bigger hurdle to get over than anything else.
I agree that there is no magic formula for success and that the most important thing in a relationship is knowing the woman you intend to marry. So we can agree on that much.
This is what I've been trying to say. I feel it's the most important.
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I was looking at the sexy girl I was with! Darn- I missed the view of the horizon! :D LOL
Who said I was alone ;) My wife and I enjoyed our time spent in rural banyas :evil:
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Even though she has a driver's license in Russia, it was simply more than my nerves could handle when I realized she thought posted speed limits and traffic signals were merely suggestions, or the fact that people in the crosswalks were supposed to get out of her way. I live in a small town of 25,000 people. The cops pull you out of the car and taser you for stuff like that.
When they pull her over, she will be fine. Big eyes and a sexy Russian accent will go a long way... LOL
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Cowboy, clearly there are differences of view here.
You'll just have to read it all and come to your own conclusions about how to proceed.
Good luck!
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This suggestion needs to be pinned somewhere on the from RWD page. I tried to give my girlfriend a driving lesson when she was here visiting last summer, and it took years off my life. Even though she has a driver's license in Russia, it was simply more than my nerves could handle when I realized she thought posted speed limits and traffic signals were merely suggestions, or the fact that people in the crosswalks were supposed to get out of her way. I live in a small town of 25,000 people. The cops pull you out of the car and taser you for stuff like that.
Fortunately when she moves here permanently in a few months, I've convinced her that a formal driving course will be required. :)
Good luck with the Taser Brigade. LoL... I swear I thought I had a handle on this one. Checked out driving classes near here, etc. L insists that I will teach her to drive, and I insist that I won't. Right now it's a fun little 'argument', but I can see it possibly turning serious later (just kidding.. maybe... I have no idea.. I know I don't want to go to prison).
The funny thing though is that I have a little gold PT Cruiser auto with everything on it you can possibly get -- that I thought would be perfect for her to learn, drive, be 'her' car. That is until I sent her a photo of the big Ram dually. "Oh, Ohhhh, I like eeet!! ... I want to drive THAT one!!"
Snowballs and hades come to mind... but, I'll jump that lake of fire later.
Man, some really great info in this thread.
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Checked out driving classes near here, etc. L insists that I will teach her to drive, and I insist that I won't. Right now it's a fun little 'argument', but I can see it possibly turning serious later (just kidding.. maybe... I have no idea.. I know I don't want to go to prison).
Daveman, no offense but you really do have NO idea. :)
If you do survive the "white-knuckled" adventure of teaching your RW how to drive, wait until you try to teach her how to change a flat tire on her car (in an emergency). :hairraising:
In my situation I travel out of state/country.
In almost 40 years of driving I have never had a road service company.
Now that I am married to a RW, I have one (for her car). 8)
After several failed attempts at trying to position the jack properly, I was told in the usual blunt manner by my RW that flat tires are "Man's Work". :rolleyes2:
GOB
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Have we discussed the need that RW have to socialize with other RW? Not just any other RW, but those who are interesting to her. In a rural area where will you find a network of RW?
During our years of travel before marriage, my wife always befriended European and American people. I thought she was seeking to beome international. Yet, once having arrived in America I am surprised at how important other RW are to her social life. She has her AW friends, yet gravitates towards 5-6 UW and RW. They and their American husbands are a key part of our social scene. In fact, I say we spend more time socializing with AM-RW couples than with all-American couples.
If she did not have that network of RW friends, she would still thrive I guess. But how can that be determined?
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Have we discussed the need that RW have to socialize with other RW? Not just any other RW, but those who are interesting to her. In a rural area where will you find a network of RW?
In my experience, as soon as you have a Russian wife, you will soon discover Russian women everywhere. I have many close Russian friends that I met in a rural area of Canada: villages with 100 people, 200 people 500 people. You would have to be pretty remote and pretty small not to have any Russian in the vicinity IMHO. Besides, people travel. We often go from our city, to visit my family in another city. We have Russian friends there. In other places we visit, we have other friends. Now, my wife is fortunately getting to the point where she is making Canadian friends.
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Have we discussed the need that RW have to socialize with other RW? Not just any other RW, but those who are interesting to her. In a rural area where will you find a network of RW?
During our years of travel before marriage, my wife always befriended European and American people. I thought she was seeking to beome international. Yet, once having arrived in America I am surprised at how important other RW are to her social life. She has her AW friends, yet gravitates towards 5-6 UW and RW. They and their American husbands are a key part of our social scene. In fact, I say we spend more time socializing with AM-RW couples than with all-American couples.
If she did not have that network of RW friends, she would still thrive I guess. But how can that be determined?
After the first year or so avoiding folks from FSU, we found a good group of FSUW/IT men here in what some would consider the very end of the world. I lived here 5 years and never noted a FSU presence.. now we know at least 10 couples in the area and even found an Orthodox Church in the very next town. As an immigrant here with no direct family around, our friends are almost exclusively FSU/IT couples, many if not most with kids.
These are true friends too.. the kind that will not hesitate to drive a hundred miles to pick you up if your car breaks down or need an extra hand moving heavy furniture around. The common bond of FSU has enriched both our lives.
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Good Lord, you guys just reminded me that now I have to teach our 17 year old daughter to drive when she gets here! :hairraising: I'm now having flashbacks to the experience teaching my wife. I wonder if our auto insurance covers PTSD in cases like this.
The only thing I think that would be scarier is to let my wife try to teach her.
So much for the false sense of relaxation now that the visa process is over. :ohbrother:
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Good Lord, you guys just reminded me that now I have to teach our 17 year old daughter to drive when she gets here!
Now that's ONE advantage those that live in the country have over us city dwellers!
No traffic :-) LOL
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Daveman, no offense but you really do have NO idea. :)
If you do survive the "white-knuckled" adventure of teaching your RW how to drive, wait until you try to teach her how to change a flat tire on her car (in an emergency). :hairraising:
In my situation I travel out of state/country.
In almost 40 years of driving I have never had a road service company.
Now that I am married to a RW, I have one (for her car). 8)
After several failed attempts at trying to position the jack properly, I was told in the usual blunt manner by my RW that flat tires are "Man's Work". :rolleyes2:
GOB
Heh, yes, I have NO idea what to really expect. I try not to even daydream much about anything because I'm positive my dreams will be neither as beautiful nor as shocking as I would imagine. ;D I'm pretty adamant that she'll be taking driving lessons from someone other than myself. She says otherwise. That's the nature of the goofy argument, which I really don't think will be a real argument.. why in the world would she really get ticked off at taking professional lessons? But, I've been surprised before, and that's probably drops in the bucket to the surprises later.
You know, a humorous aspect of this thread is that probably after all this excellent discussion and information, MoCowboy will find a gorgeous 25 y/o from Kiev, who speaks no English, visit her for a week, file the K-1, never visit again and be married in 8 months to a wonderful stranger. Heh! Anyone taking odds on this one??
Just kidding MoC... I hope...
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Nothing like a real banya's in the villages made of logs, burning real firewood, where you can step outside and look at the horizon...
...and dance naked in the snow, twirling burning veniki ;)? If true, don't tell that to Sculpto, he'd rush over in a flash ;D.
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...and dance naked in the snow, twirling burning veniki ;)?
Nah, would never waste a good venniki that way. Besides, the venniki are softened in boiling water before being used. By the end the banya, the venniki are pretty wet and mushy. Would be impressed if anybody could light them ;)
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If you do survive the "white-knuckled" adventure of teaching your RW how to drive, wait until you try to teach her how to change a flat tire on her car (in an emergency).
I don't know if this applies to the US auto market, but I found that there seems to be a growing tendency to dispense with spare tyres altogether (sign of a growing influx of FSUW :D?).
My current FIAT roadster has a spare wheel with a slimmer tyre than normal (supposedly easier to mount :-\), and the Mazda roadster I'm considering to replace it with has no spare tyre at all, just a bottle of something supposed to seal/fill the punctured tyre and just carry you over to the nearest service station.
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All this talk about spare tires and wanting a thinner one because they are easier to mount reminds me way too much of many AM in this pursuit.
(Now I know my wife has been away too long!)
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All this talk about spare tires and wanting a thinner one because they are easier to mount reminds me way too much of many AM in this pursuit. (Now I know my wife has been away too long!)
Yes, you do sound TYRED ;D.
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Yes, you do sound TYRED ;D.
GROOAAAAN!!! And I thought mine were bad. Well, actually they are. But now you've lowered yourself to my level. ;D
And the correct pronunciation is "tarred" :P