Trench's Questions and Philosophies

[Boethius]

I have my slight reservations about Lviv/Lvov

L'viv is Ukrainian.  L'vov is Russian.  No local refers to L'viv as L'vov.


It's akin to referring to Gdansk as Danzig.

[Trenchcoat]

there is I know a deeper story to you Trench
by any chance did you grow up without a father?
or was it your mother...

I grew up with both a mother and father who stayed together and never separated/divorced. Just my father worked my mother stayed at home as a housewife - cooking, cleaning, took us on outings as children, father too when he was on holiday/not at work.

My mother has always been the less socially able one, my father was always much better socially. I think unfortunately I inherited my mother's less social side. That said my father being more socially skilled did not have a lot of experience with different women so was not able to teach me much at all on that front. They married around the age of 21 but only had us three children around a decade later.

So growing up in the 80s & 90s I guess our family lacked a lot of money income, my father had pretty much everyday jobs that paid the going wage. He managed to by his/our family home and over time it rose in value quite a lot as is in a nice area. My mother still own our family home, I own my own home now, it is in a poorer but decent area, i.e non social housing area.

So that's about it, some recessions and time out of work and trouble getting decent paid work or even any job for me. I have a job now but I get more from my housing renovation projects I do outside of my part time work. Most employers here in the UK don't actually pay that much. So I guess a similar path to my father in terms of the financial side of things so far, lol, money and wealth growth tied up in capital rather than any high earning job, so that's where I'm at really. 

[msmob]

Trench is a misogynist and gets petulant when busted for advising others, when he hasn't got a clue.

He is stubborn in that he asks for advice and then tells one why you are 'wrong', but he is the perennially single guy.

[Anotherkiwi]

I have only learned a small spattering of Russian from self learn CD's, Internet, etc. I usually just state myself as not being able to speak any Russian since its probably so little/bad that its not worth stating. I want to find the time to learn more...

Why this emphasis on Russian if you're going to Ukraine?  Yes, I know that just about everyone there is bilingual in Ukrainian and Russian, but have you forgotten that Russia invaded Ukraine?  As Boethius, JayH and several others have pointed out, that has been a catalyst for the revivial of Ukrainian as many people's preferred language.  Even our esteemed member Stirlitz, a native Russian-only speaker from Odesa, now speaks Ukrainian as his first language.

If you're prepared to make the effort to learn at least SOME Ukrainian I would think that this would go down extremely well with the women you're trying to impress.  I'm guessing that everyone who has written or otherwise communicated with these women has used Russian because it's the generic default language for all of the western FSU (and many would not have even known that there was a separate language called Ukrainian).  If you learn some Ukrainian (or Belarussian, if applicable) that would have to be a point of difference in your favour.

I'll admit that I don't know any, but my time there was long before Putin decided to mess with Crimea and the Donbas, so people I met had absolutely no hesitation in speaking Russian.  In any case, though, the woman I spent the most time with in Kyiv was an interpreter who spoke fluent English.

[krimster2]

when my grandfather died, he left me a pound sterling
you’re probably thinking “big deal” a pound sterling, don’t spend it all in one place
but it actually is “special”
they are 4 large British “Crowns” minted in the year of my Grandfather’s birth, given to him by his father’s employer...
each coin is in perfect condition, and feels like it has about an ounce of sterling silver in it
I’m guessing the purchase power based on the silver content would today be about $50
but today a pound is $1.38

this decline in the value of the pound was caused by the collapse of industry after industry in Britain, from textiles, to steel, to coal mining and ship building, every single industrial era industry was going bankrupt and shutting down due to cheaper foreign competition.

this led to a collapse in value of the British worker and a decline in relative living standard for Britain and to a hard life for guys like Trench

unfortunately, this is America’s future as well...
one day it will be “Western Women Discussion” and mid-level corporate managers in Shezhen, China will be chasing after blond bimbos who live in trailer parks in Idaho...
what at an exciting time that will be!!!

[msmob]

when my grandfather died, he left me a pound sterling
you’re probably thinking “big deal” a pound sterling, don’t spend it all in one place
but it actually is “special”
they are 4 large British “Crowns” minted in the year of my Grandfather’s birth, given to him by his father’s employer...
each coin is in perfect condition, and feels like it has about an ounce of sterling silver in it
I’m guessing the purchase power based on the silver content would today be about $50
but today a pound is $1.38

this decline in the value of the pound was caused by the collapse of industry after industry in Britain, from textiles, to steel, to coal mining and ship building, every single industrial era industry was going bankrupt and shutting down due to cheaper foreign competition.

this led to a collapse in value of the British worker and a decline in relative living standard for Britain and to a hard life for guys like Trench

unfortunately, this is America’s future as well...
one day it will be “Western Women Discussion” and mid-level corporate managers in Shezhen, China will be chasing after blond bimbos who live in trailer parks in Idaho...
what at an exciting time that will be!!!

IWhat a colourful description of the decline in the GBP...

You forgot to mention the crap industrial relations and strikes that aided the destruction of UK PLC as a manufacture from the end of the war to the Thatcher years

Most of this time we were not in the EU/ EEC, but 'we' want to leave the biggest free trade block (and destroy  London as a financial hub)  to make  'us' great again......?

Real 'smart'

[Trenchcoat]

IWhat a colourful description of the decline in the GBP...

You forgot to mention the crap industrial relations and strikes that aided the destruction of UK PLC as a manufacture from the end of the war to the Thatcher years

Most of this time we were not in the EU/ EEC, but 'we' want to leave the biggest free trade block (and destroy  London as a financial hub)  to make  'us' great again......?

Real 'smart'

The EU restricts our ability to make free trade agreements with the rest of the world and hence hinders our economy. The free trade agreements it makes we have little control over so it could make free trade agreement with countries that could damage our economy with cheap imports.

[krimster2]

when I was little, I used to spend part of the early summer in Rochdale
used to go play with older kids in an abandoned 19th century textile mill
I used to catch frogs in the “raceway” where the giant waterwheel used to be...

surprised to learn that up until 1830 or so, entire British textile industry was in this area, and even back then it employed over 200,000 people, including my ancestors...

what a miserable life this was!
the whole family husband, wife, little children, had to work in the mill from sun-up until sun-down basically for bread, prisoners of war are sometimes treated better than an early 19th century British mill worker!

the reason all this was in Rochdale, was because of the canals!!!!
did you know that early 19th century British textile industry was entirely powered by giant water wheels fed by the canals in Rochdale!!!

think of that, entirely hydro-powered textile industry that employed over 200,000 people and Britain had that in 1830!!!

you know what killed it?  it wasn’t the Americans or Chinese, definitely NOT the Chinese, British machine made textiles were of such high quality and cheap price that they devastated the Chinese textile market which were based on hand-powered weaving and put many of thousands of traditional Chinese weavers out of business...
No, what killed it was steam!
As the textile industry grew in Rochdale, the most desirable spots for access to the canals were quickly purchased for Mill development, prices quickly rose for land parcels with canal access
As the industry reached it’s peak, not only was all the available land already taken, but so was the labor, and mill owners began to break their agreements with one another NOT to raise wages, and now were being forced to compete for workers by raising wages.
Now, along comes steam power!
You can use steam and go anywhere in England that has a lot of cheap labor, and that’s just what happened!!!  these new steam powered mills also used newer more modern mechanical looms that could work faster than previous models.  one worker on the new machines could do the work of 4 workers on the old!!

and thus began the rule, that “The Cheaper Price Wins”, as the new steam powered low labor cost mills drove the older ones out of business...

but, they are absolutely great places for catching frogs!!

BTW, can you imagine carrying say 5 pounds sterling this way a “fiver”, it would be over a pound of silver in your pocket, no wonder people had coin purses back then!
but gold sovereigns and half-sovereigns are too small...
glad we have notes instead
I liked Scottish currency...

 

[BdHvA]

Rochdale while perhaps depressing for the reasons Krimster notes is also the birthplace of the Rochdale Principles. This is the foundation of the Co-Op movement. While perhaps different in form from the initial concept the principles remain the same. A share of the profits divided between the producers.

An example in The United States of an active and vibrant cooperative would the Cabot Group with dairy products.

[Trenchcoat]

Just a thought I've had and wondered what others thought on here. I was thinking of putting that I am after a frugal woman on my profile for FSU dating sites. I think even if I was loaded I wouldn't feel great if the lady was asking for loads of stuff or more expensive items. Do you guys think this would go down alright with the right type of woman?

[Davo2]

Trench, I think it's a bad idea as raising children and being frugal, to a certain extent doesn't go hand in hand.  Just find a woman that's only a few years younger than you (some still want children in there late 30's), has a good education, middle class or upper middle-class job and wage,  owns her own apartment, has a good relationship with her parents and you might have more  success. I chatted with several that had the same quality of life that I did and seemed to be not materialistic and genuine. I don't know if it was coincidence, but I stayed away from woman wearing sexy revealing clothing. They were wearing neat causal or business attire and very modest.

[ML]

I don't know if it was coincidence, but I stayed away from woman wearing sexy revealing clothing. They were wearing neat causal or business attire and very modest.

Once a gal told me that her sister (who was near her age) told her not to wear something overly sexy on our first date, where we had planned to visit an art museum.

Sister said:  "Let him enjoy the art and not be thinking about sex with you."

[Jumper]

Just a thought I've had and wondered what others thought on here. I was thinking of putting that I am after a frugal woman on my profile for FSU dating sites. I think even if I was loaded I wouldn't feel great if the lady was asking for loads of stuff or more expensive items. Do you guys think this would go down alright with the right type of woman?

No.

Again, this is putting the  cart before horse.

Meet women, learn who they are ,while they learn about you.

You wouldnt talk about your thoughts on any number of certain  subjects with someone you just met.

You stay on the lighter side ,
and if there is any cause to spend more time together you get into other subjects as they will come up naturally,or if important you broach them at a time when things are beginning to develop.

You dont do this with a woman you were just saying *hello* to at a friends backyard BBQ.

It will come off odd,  and drive the very women you wish to meet away.


I understand your wish to sort out things before wasting any time, money, or effort.

Stating certain things in your profile that are deal breakers for you is fine.
However, youd still be better off leaving things to just normal information or regular conversation starters .


My wife is quite frugal,  I have to really try to get her to buy stuff.even then she'll end up returning most of it to my dismay.

However,having some blank statement,like that,would have been viewed as odd.
I might have over come it, because I can be pretty convincing and downright charming if need be lol
But there is simply no reason to start a conversation with a stranger on a  negative vibe,and that's what youd be doing.


Example:
I'm no gentleman, so do not prefer blondes.
However I'd never put my preference for brunettes in my profile.

 


Nor would I talk politics,religion, frugalness or lack thereof,  in a profile ,or kn an initial  conversation.

TC , put your best foot forward.!
You only get one chance at a first impression.
Do your best in your profile to  be yourself,but the best most witty,interesting bits of what makes you tic.

I'd suggest staying away from the things you want or dont want.

Try to be someone they want to find out about.

I wrote all kind of silly nonsense,  frankly because while  I knew it might offend some,that doesnt bother me, but it might  make others laugh.and I could pull it off.
There were no serious parts to my profile, if they wanted to know that,they could take the time to write and learn.
I also never contacted anyone first,I replied to those that contacted me .Very easy way to sort who is interested.
(Yes you'll still need to understand why they are interested,good or bad lol)

Anyway, in general it can be a grey dull boring life.
Russian men are actually great conversationalists in general and can chat up a dev in seconds.They do so most of the time by joking around. It's often a dry sense of humor,interesting. ,and with clever twists of word meanings.

So fsu women are not going to respond as well to blank odd statements of fact .
Or a list of *what I TC, want or dont want*

[JayH]

Once a gal told me that her sister (who was near her age) told her not to wear something overly sexy on our first date, where we had planned to visit an art museum.

Sister said:  "Let him enjoy the art and not be thinking about sex with you."

So--  I am guessing you will recall every "piece" of art you saw that day !!

[Jumper]

Or just try basic empathy.
 If a woman puts somet blank statement  in her profile that strikes you as odd to put there..
How do you view it?

Women , even though they may seem alien to you, view things the same way

[Trenchcoat]

No.

Again, this is putting the  cart before horse.

Meet women, learn who they are ,while they learn about you.

You wouldnt talk about your thoughts on any number of certain  subjects with someone you just met.

You stay on the lighter side ,
and if there is any cause to spend more time together you get into other subjects as they will come up naturally,or if important you broach them at a time when things are beginning to develop.

You dont do this with a woman you were just saying *hello* to at a friends backyard BBQ.

It will come off odd,  and drive the very women you wish to meet away.


I understand your wish to sort out things before wasting any time, money, or effort.

Stating certain things in your profile that are deal breakers for you is fine.
However, youd still be better off leaving things to just normal information or regular conversation starters .


My wife is quite frugal,  I have to really try to get her to buy stuff.even then she'll end up returning most of it to my dismay.

However,having some blank statement,like that,would have been viewed as odd.
I might have over come it, because I can be pretty convincing and downright charming if need be lol
But there is simply no reason to start a conversation with a stranger on a  negative vibe,and that's what youd be doing.


Example:
I'm no gentleman, so do not prefer blondes.
However I'd never put my preference for brunettes in my profile.

 


Nor would I talk politics,religion, frugalness or lack thereof,  in a profile ,or kn an initial  conversation.

TC , put your best foot forward.!
You only get one chance at a first impression.
Do your best in your profile to  be yourself,but the best most witty,interesting bits of what makes you tic.

I'd suggest staying away from the things you want or dont want.

Try to be someone they want to find out about.

I wrote all kind of silly nonsense,  frankly because while  I knew it might offend some,that doesnt bother me, but it might  make others laugh.and I could pull it off.
There were no serious parts to my profile, if they wanted to know that,they could take the time to write and learn.
I also never contacted anyone first,I replied to those that contacted me .Very easy way to sort who is interested.
(Yes you'll still need to understand why they are interested,good or bad lol)

Anyway, in general it can be a grey dull boring life.
Russian men are actually great conversationalists in general and can chat up a dev in seconds.They do so most of the time by joking around. It's often a dry sense of humor,interesting. ,and with clever twists of word meanings.

So fsu women are not going to respond as well to blank odd statements of fact .
Or a list of *what I TC, want or dont want*

Thanks Jumper, your absolutely right, I was pretty off track. I think getting the girls up then weighing them up as I go is the way to go. Ill try to put what you say here into practice

[treadmilldude]

Somewhere in life you lost your way Trenchcoat. You lost the "Goodness", the "Decency", the "Love" that is naturally inherent in everyone's moral compass.

There is something that is just evil about you. You are not mentally right. You are not fit to ever be a Husband or Father.

I hope and pray that no Woman in the UK ever marries you. I hope and pray that no Woman in the FSU ever marries you.

With every bone in my body I hope you stay single the rest of your life and never Father a Child.

[krimster2]

"Somewhere in life you lost your way Trenchcoat. You lost the "Goodness", the "Decency", the "Love" that is naturally inherent in everyone's moral compass."


poor little black sheep who has lost his way, has he? ....
Trench isn't fundamentally different from the rest us sad sacks...
it may make you all feel better about yourselves, to think you're better than him... but you aren't really...
none of us are...
Trench is just more honest...
he was dealt a bad hand in life and doesn't have a lot of good cards in the deck he's playing
nor does he have a lot of experience at the game
but he's still out there playing!!!
so give him some respect for that...

[Trenchcoat]

"Somewhere in life you lost your way Trenchcoat. You lost the "Goodness", the "Decency", the "Love" that is naturally inherent in everyone's moral compass."


poor little black sheep who has lost his way, has he? ....
Trench isn't fundamentally different from the rest us sad sacks...
it may make you all feel better about yourselves, to think you're better than him... but you aren't really...
none of us are...
Trench is just more honest...
he was dealt a bad hand in life and doesn't have a lot of good cards in the deck he's playing
nor does he have a lot of experience at the game
but he's still out there playing!!!
so give him some respect for that...

Cheers Krimster Much appreciate the support.

[krimster2]

oh no, Trench, sorry, they're right about you...
I'm just calling them hypocrites for thinking that they're any better than you

until someone has walked in your shoes
they can't criticize you for how you walk

so my advice to you for Ukraine:

hospitals
"crazy house"
prisons
homeless

haha, just kidding!!!!!



about the "homeless"
you don't wanto mess with homeless women in Ukraine, trust me!!!

[Trenchcoat]

Somewhere in life you lost your way Trenchcoat. You lost the "Goodness", the "Decency", the "Love" that is naturally inherent in everyone's moral compass.

There is something that is just evil about you. You are not mentally right. You are not fit to ever be a Husband or Father.

I hope and pray that no Woman in the UK ever marries you. I hope and pray that no Woman in the FSU ever marries you.

With every bone in my body I hope you stay single the rest of your life and never Father a Child.

TMD I think your lack of progress in your own search is affecting you a bit here, if your own search was going well you wouldn't be the least bit concerned with me. I found the guys & girls on this forum have helped me out loads in understanding the more complex areas of FSU dating. Let us help you, be open and tell us your story and the problems you are facing.

[Jumper]

"Somewhere in life you lost your way Trenchcoat. You lost the "Goodness", the "Decency", the "Love" that is naturally inherent in everyone's moral compass."


poor little black sheep who has lost his way, has he? ....
Trench isn't fundamentally different from the rest us sad sacks...
it may make you all feel better about yourselves, to think you're better than him... but you aren't really...
none of us are...
Trench is just more honest...
he was dealt a bad hand in life and doesn't have a lot of good cards in the deck he's playing
nor does he have a lot of experience at the game
but he's still out there playing!!!
so give him some respect for that...

Eh, as for myself I have no delusions thinking I am better than TC.
  I'd like to see him succeed,  so offer him advice is all.
And absolutely give him credit for getting himself out there, likely far out of his comfort zone.

I hope in this endeavor he can do some soul searching as well though , find empathy and a deeper understanding of what his future partner might feel also.
Its things everyone  can work on,I'm certainly not immune to needing self improvement.
If you are stagnant and arnt maturing and gaining insight as you grow older it would be pretty sad.

 

[krimster2]

lives of quiet desperation and all that...
I think Ukraine is wrong for him however
and he should stay closer to home

[JayH]

TMD I think your lack of progress in your own search is affecting you a bit here, if your own search was going well you wouldn't be the least bit concerned with me. I found the guys & girls on this forum have helped me out loads in understanding the more complex areas of FSU dating. Let us help you, be open and tell us your story and the problems you are facing.

TMD's comments   are an awful long way closer to the truth than your once again stupid response. My circumstances are fine ( as are many others who agree with my general assessment of you) -- but-- of note is that here again you attack the guy  who slaps you between the eyes with some home truths.
Once again -- you know absolutely zero of his circumstances yet again you deign to attempt an insult based on that.You are a petty little peanut.
As for you helping anyone -- only by showing how not to do it.

While I am bothering -- you worship of the sex tourist Roosh and his disciple DK illustrates what an idiot you truly are.

[Trenchcoat]

If you haven't read it already, you can read my story here:

http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=15509.0

That's a pretty amazing story Northkape Only read the first three pages so far but it's most engrossing. I was shocked to see the age gap between you and Lena, 45 ish to 22. Guess it was handy that you weren't significantly greying so it didn't look too amiss. She's very pretty also so you going 13 years in a relationship like that and having two sons is real good going.

I can see the advantage of going that young in that there's probably less chance of getting problem women. I still would probably go for women 28 & above for me (aged 40) as I think the age gap would work heavily against me unless the girl was obviously infatuated with me. Idk, I think while the idea of a young girl appeals at times I think it might feel a bit strange to me at times. The last girl I was with who was 25, now 26 was a bit on the borderline I felt at times. She we'll see how it goes on the trip I've git coming up in June.

That pic of her hometown was also pretty shocking, lol. All that pollution & dust! Worse that even I had imagined for the industrial backwaters out there.

I can see the sense of you having lived on with the different women for short durations. Makes sense to me you doing that as I guess you only learn how you get on together long term that way instead if loads of short meet ups.

Many thanks for sharing Northkape.