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Author Topic: Is it usual for Ukrainian Women to be inaffectionate when starting relationship?  (Read 70708 times)

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Offline BillyB

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she said that she thought I was kind and a gentleman, .....


She says you're a nice guy. Most of us heard that before. It's not good news.

..... though I did not lead on the trip which she is not used to.


Leading is very important. Most of the ladies over there expect it. It will also tell you things about her. If she's receptive to your kiss and will she latch onto your arm every time you offer it.
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Offline Trenchcoat

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She says you're a nice guy. Most of us heard that before. It's not good news.

Leading is very important. Most of the ladies over there expect it. It will also tell you things about her. If she's receptive to your kiss and will she latch onto your arm every time you offer it.

Yeah, there could be that, I know over here (UK&US) such a response is that she thinks you're a nice guy and its not good news, however, I've heard that Ukrainian/Russian women it is a big thing that you are a gentleman and kind, it why they go for foreign men rather their own men that may beat them. I was kind of hoping for a 'think I'm attractive, etc' along those lines as used to in the west but perhaps it isn't their ways if the woman is a bit reserved or perhaps she's not attracted to me, I can't figure out.

Second point could be helpful, I'll have to try and lead more if I can next time I think.

Should really add, I think she is probably the reserved conservative type, so while easy going and not uptight I think this is holding her back. While it does though I can't clearly say whether she is into me or not. She seems happy to be with me and continues to write to me, why do that if no attraction. I think I might have to press her on this front a little, tactfully, its just so bizarre to me. Generally I've always thought you end something or decide just to be friends permanently, no talk of future relationship - what would be the point of doing so. I get the impression she says what she means, she's genuine, rather than tell you a load of stuff for some hidden reason so its strange to me.
« Last Edit: April 25, 2016, 04:41:24 PM by Trenchcoat »
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Offline dragonkid

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Yeah, there could be that, I know over here (UK&US) such a response is that she thinks you're a nice guy and its not good news, however, I've heard that Ukrainian/Russian women it is a big thing that you are a gentleman and kind, it why they go for foreign men rather their own men that may beat them. I was kind of hoping for a 'think I'm attractive, etc' along those lines as used to in the west but perhaps it isn't their ways if the woman is a bit reserved or perhaps she's not attracted to me, I can't figure out.

Second point could be helpful, I'll have to try and lead more if I can next time I think.

Should really add, I think she is probably the reserved conservative type, so while easy going and not uptight I think this is holding her back. While it does though I can't clearly say whether she is into me or not. She seems happy to be with me and continues to write to me, why do that if no attraction. I think I might have to press her on this front a little, tactfully, its just so bizarre to me. Generally I've always thought you end something or decide just to be friends permanently, no talk of future relationship - what would be the point of doing so. I get the impression she says what she means, she's genuine, rather than tell you a load of stuff for some hidden reason so its strange to me.

Don't worry i am actually very hopeful that you will succeed next time. Go their ASAP and lead, don't lead in a public place, lead at a private place.
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Offline msmobyone

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Trenchcoat

No.1 rule - be yourself
Please excuse the Curmudgeon in my posts ..he will be cured by being reunited with his loved one ;)

Offline ML

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No.1 rule - be yourself

Where's the fun in that ???
A beautiful woman is pleasant to look at, but it is easier to live with a pleasant acting one.

Offline mies

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So like not much physical body contact, not meaning sex here, but no real kissing, holding each other, holding hands even. Friendly, not expressionless just no real physical contact as we would normally expect in the west.

is it in public or in private?
How many meetings did you have / trips did you make to see her?

Have you tried to hug her, kiss her etc., in private? (sorry I didn't read the whole thread) How did she react?

FSU is somewhat different from USA (perhaps from UK too) in that we do not really have non-committed "dating". Basically if the guy and gal kiss on the mouth and are physically affectionate, by default they are dating and are exclusive. Even if they didn't have sex yet. If the girl has her doubts about your commitment, and has doubts of how exclusive this interaction is for you - she is likely to be more reserved. We do not really have a custom of seeing/dating 7 different men in a week. Maybe you need to make a step forward and tell her that you consider her your girlfriend, that this is exclusive relationship, you are not pursuing anyone else, and you want it to develop naturally. Then on the next trip be a little more assertive (kiss on on the  mouth to start with) and see if her behavior changes. 

Seeking other women as a "backup plan" is a very bad advice, imho. If I learned that the guy i like done that, I'd stop all interactions with him.
« Last Edit: April 29, 2016, 10:48:16 AM by mies »

Online 2tallbill

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is it in public or in private?
How many meetings did you have / trips did you make to see her?

Have you tried to hug her, kiss her etc., in private? (sorry I didn't read the whole thread) How did she react?

Here is my impression of what happened. Trench Coat went to visit
one girl exclusively. She wasn't very affectionate and he treated her
like he would an English woman, which is to wait for her to signal him
to kiss her etc.

In my experience, FSUW want the man to make the first move and
he didn't. In my opinion he should have tried to kiss her, seduce
her etc. If she didn't want him or wasn't ready yet, then she would
tell him.

Now he wants to see her again, yet he is too shy/scared to bring
the subject up or speak about it directly. He is especially worried
about saying something about sex, because we all know every FSUW
will runaway to a convent and become a nun if she hears even one
single word about it before she is married.

In my opinion during his first trip he displayed an assertiveness
level of 1 on a scale of 1 to 10. Now he is planning a second trip
to meet the same girl with the assertiveness level turned all the
way up to a 2.


Seeking other women as a "backup plan" is a very bad advice, imho. If I learned that the guy i like done that, I'd stop all interactions with him.

You didn't read my version of a back up plan. I met my wife using
my backup plan.

I went to Voronezh to meet a beautiful girl. I pursued her exclusively
but we could see things weren't going to work out so we broke up.
Most men at this point would wander around Voronezh moping around
feeling sorry for themselves.

After the breakup I logged onto Mamba and began writing girls 
asking them to meet me for tea and cake. Many girls ignored me,
so I kept writing. Some girls thought it would be interesting to meet
me so I would meet her for tea at a cafe.

I would meet her and if I didn't feel the vibes, and mutual chemistry
I would finish my tea and wish her good luck and I would never
bother her again. I never wrote to any of these girls before my trip
to Voronezh.

I kept doing this until I met a girl who I felt the vibes and the
mutual chemistry. I pursued this girl exclusively*, until I had to go
back home. I visited her 4 times in one year, she visited me twice,
I married her and I have never been happier.

I distinctly advise against trying to date several girls at the same
time. Not everyone agrees with me and I have seen that there is
more than one path to success.


*This is where many men screw up. They ask out a girl again that
they don't feel the vibes and the mutual chemistry again because
she was hot or worst of all because they had free time. If you
don't feel like Tarzan of the jungle and want to beat your chest
and make screaming monkey noises then the girl isn't the girl,
you shouldn't waste her time or your time. You need to move on
and find the girl who causes the screaming monkey noises inside
you.

Just my two kopecks,

Bill

FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Just kiss the girl, don't ask her first. Tolerate NO excuses!

Offline lyndontom

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Here is my impression of what happened. Trench Coat went to visit
one girl exclusively. She wasn't very affectionate and he treated her
like he would an English woman, which is to wait for her to signal him
to kiss her etc.

In my experience, FSUW want the man to make the first move and
he didn't. In my opinion he should have tried to kiss her, seduce
her etc. If she didn't want him or wasn't ready yet, then she would
tell him.

Now he wants to see her again, yet he is too shy/scared to bring
the subject up or speak about it directly. He is especially worried
about saying something about sex, because we all know every FSUW
will runaway to a convent and become a nun if she hears even one
single word about it before she is married.

In my opinion during his first trip he displayed an assertiveness
level of 1 on a scale of 1 to 10. Now he is planning a second trip
to meet the same girl with the assertiveness level turned all the
way up to a 2.


I think you're being a little harsh. We all have to find our way. What happens for one immediately might take some time for another. YMMV.



You didn't read my version of a back up plan. I met my wife using my backup plan. I went to Voronezh to meet a beautiful girl. I pursued her exclusively but we could see things weren't going to work out so we broke up. Most men at this point would wander around Voronezh moping around feeling sorry for themselves. After the breakup I logged onto Mamba and began writing girls  asking them to meet me for tea and cake. Many girls ignored me, so I kept writing. Some girls thought it would be interesting to meet me so I would meet her for tea at a cafe. I would meet her and if I didn't feel the vibes, and mutual chemistry I would finish my tea and wish her good luck and I would never bother her again. I never wrote to any of these girls before my trip to Voronezh. I kept doing this until I met a girl who I felt the vibes and the mutual chemistry. I pursued this girl exclusively*, until I had to go back home. I visited her 4 times in one year, she visited me twice, I married her and I have never been happier. I distinctly advise against trying to date several girls at the same time. Not everyone agrees with me and I have seen that there is more than one path to success. *This is where many men screw up. They ask out a girl again that they don't feel the vibes and the mutual chemistry again because she was hot or worst of all because they had free time. If you don't feel like Tarzan of the jungle and want to beat your chest and make screaming monkey noises then the girl isn't the girl, you shouldn't waste her time or your time. You need to move on and find the girl who causes the screaming monkey noises inside you. Just my two kopecks,Bill

As you've pointed out, life doesn't always go as we plan it. People in this venture will have to feel their own way through things. It's part of life's challenges. Some will say persevere, others will say drop her and move on. Without being there in the moment, its difficult for us to judge. My personal advice Trenchcoat - don't walk away because some tell you that you have to. Don't stay and fight because some tell you that you have to. Go with your gut instinct. 

Offline ML

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. . . find the girl who causes the screaming monkey noises inside you.

Isn't there a pill for this ??
A beautiful woman is pleasant to look at, but it is easier to live with a pleasant acting one.

Online 2tallbill

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I think you're being a little harsh. We all have to find our way. What happens for one immediately might take some time for another. YMMV.

That's why I repeatedly used words and phrases like, in my view,
in my opinion, in my experience etc
That is my opinion, and it's
worth exactly what I am charging for it.

International marriages aren't for the thin skinned. I gave my direct
non-sugarcoated opinion of the situation.

I made a million mistakes during my search and spent 9 years doing it.
I refined my approach and made different mistakes each time, rather
than make the same one again and again. So all my opinions should
be taken with a grain of salt. I didn't make a couple of trips and find a
great girl. I spent years and years failing at it.

FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Just kiss the girl, don't ask her first. Tolerate NO excuses!

Offline Anotherkiwi

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International marriages aren't for the thin skinned. I gave my direct non-sugarcoated opinion of the situation.

I made a million mistakes during my search and spent 9 years doing it. I refined my approach and made different mistakes each time, rather than make the same one again and again. So all my opinions should be taken with a grain of salt. I didn't make a couple of trips and find a great girl. I spent years and years failing at it.

And this is why you need to have the good income and a LOT of money saved BEFORE you rush all starry-eyed into this venture.  Of course it's possible to get lucky - one trip, one week, find the girl and live happily ever after.  But everybody knows, and most will accept, that that is by far the exception to the rule.  You wouldn't expect to get that lucky in your home town - what on earth makes you think that you would get that lucky somewhere else, just because you're an "exotic" foreigner?

Offline Trenchcoat

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Huh, well a situation has occurred since my last post update and if I wasn't already feeling in a strange place on all of this it has got stranger. She wrote to me a few days back and turns out her father has decided to retire, now theoretically he is already past retirement and and receiving a state pension but due to the pension being so low (averaging out to $53.78 a month) it pretty impossible to live off it seems.

The upshot is that as the girl I met is their only offspring and soon to be only one with a full time job she will have to support them. The mother I assume is in the traditional role of housewife, may or may not be getting any pension and no doubt has not work for some time so I'm guessing unlikely to find work so no doubt not an option. So, if this isn't bad enough it appears the girl I met is going to have to get a second job! as otherwise life could get pretty meager. Even with this there is probably only weekends to work, maybe evening depending on what if any work turns up.

Needless to say she will not only have not much free time anymore, she will also be tied to the situation there supporting them plus working a pretty draconian regime which sounds awful. I feel bad for her as we met and she seems like a lovely girl. The scenario I think looks bleak atm I guessing her parents are about mid 60's, the men can claim state pension in the Ukraine at 60, women 55. So, while it sounds terrible if they live another 20 years then no doubt she will have to support them all this time & she will be 50 by the time she gets off the hook. That just what I'm envisaging anyway. Maybe they might not go that long, or maybe they might and get ill health problems making matters even worse.

In any case even 10 years would start getting iffy in terms of having a family. Plus it means there is little chance of seeing her once he retires so forming a relationship, etc doesn't look good. She's not the type of girl I would want to walk away from I would feel so bad. Yet the window for a further meet up is closing, once her father retires in a few moths time, if that, that's it as far as seeing her pretty much. No doubt she could still get holiday off but she will no doubt be knackered, plus shes still got to support them.

Now my thoughts initially were is this a scam and waited for the follow up letter asking for money, but she didn't at least not so far. I'm now thinking that she probably won't (I know I can be overly paranoid on scam stuff) like I said she seems genuine and tells it straight I feel. The other thought was, is this a way of letting me down gently, possibly again and no doubt maybe some girls may do that. I'm thinking though that she is telling it like it is, the ages/situation could well tie up, the retirement pension/old age situation is true enough and as far as I know/she tells me she is an only child.

I don't know if her father is giving up retiring for ill health or because he felt he had enough of working. My thoughts are that he has noticed his daughter's dating activities/suspects of them and has possibly retired to avoid being stuck working until he drops. If his daughter goes of with someone, particularly a foreigner who is not local then likelihood is he cannot retire and is stuck working till he drops. If he dumps his daughter with the responsibilities now of supporting them through old age then she cannot date a foreigner, it will not happen.

For me, sending money out off marriage is not a possibility (see stipend thread) I don't think it is good for the relationship and I would always have the feeling I was being scammed/taken advantage off. In any case I would not see it as a long term solution. That and I haven't visited where she lives so really so not know enough about her plus the affection issue and closeness. The only other way I can think of would be a marriage then she could work over here send money back. Again though, I do not know her well enough for this, not having visited where she lives and the affection issue. I could visit once more perhaps before her father retires but I would be unsure if enough ground could be covered to make marriage a possibility, if she would be affectionate enough, she seemed to be warming to me a little. Sex too for me unlike DK  ;D I would really see as a prerequisite before a marriage so I knew a girl was not just taking me for a ride and was into me enough to do it with me. So its really an issue for me of what to do?

Apologies for the long post.
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Offline JayH

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Apologies for the long post.

No need to--you are writing with real issues of a real relationship.
You are doing the right thing thinking about these things now--you want to know answers to form your thought process.
You may or may not be correct on some of this post- you will need to know more
Where was/is this girl from?What city or area?

You are correct to read replies here-- there is some decent advice amongst the rubbish here-but-- it should only help you in your thought process--it is not a blueprint! :)

ps  a premature stipend as per thread-is different from family support issues at later stage.
SLAVA UKRAYINI  ! HEROYAM SLAVA!!!!
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 translated as: Glory to Ukraine! Glory to the heroes!!!  is a Ukrainian greeting slogan being used now all over Ukraine to signify support for a free independent Ukraine

Offline Anotherkiwi

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Sorry, Trenchcoat, but I think it's time to say good-bye.  Even after all this time, and the amount of communications you've had since your visit, you're STILL unsure of this woman.  This new situation has thrown a giant spanner in the works, because now she will be so conflicted about being the only breadwinner in the household, and feeling completely guilty that she's even THINKING of leaving her parents to fend for themselves.

As has been said almost ad nauseam, if an FSUW is into you, you'll know it.  From what you've written, you don't, so she's not; or, at least, not enough to put the issue beyond doubt.  To put it crudely, think of it as far more important than buying a house or car - you're looking for any excuse to say "NO," because this is the person that you'll be spending (hopefully) the rest of your life with.  You cannot afford to let any potential drawbacks cloud your judgement, because you cannot fix any mistakes made before the marriage.  We all did that with our first marriages, which is why nearly everyone on this forum has been through at least one divorce.

Offline JayH

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I see he latest comments as being inclusive-- ie progress of sorts.
I agree it needs caution to clarify.
SLAVA UKRAYINI  ! HEROYAM SLAVA!!!!
Слава Украине! Слава героям слава!Слава Україні! Слава героям!
 translated as: Glory to Ukraine! Glory to the heroes!!!  is a Ukrainian greeting slogan being used now all over Ukraine to signify support for a free independent Ukraine

Offline BillyB

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So its really an issue for me of what to do?


My solution was to end it earlier due to other reasons but you established she's a good girl and worth pursuing. If she's a good girl, honest, kind, loving, and marriage material, why give up on her now because her dad is retiring and now you see yourself having to support her and her parents while she prepares to move to a new country? She's not worth it anymore because of that?

I was in a similar situation before. My wife lived in Libya and we met in Ukraine. I did establish the fact that my wife was "into me" after the first meeting and she was a good girl so we were in an exclusive relationship. Next thing you know, the war in Libya came and they had to evacuate and my wife and her mom had to evacuate and her mom lost her job as a doctor. I didn't hesitate to support them because I already considered them family. If my wife was a stranger to me then before meeting, I wouldn't have offered her anything.

There are a lot of unknowns with your girl. You don't know if there is a relationship yet and if there will ever be one. You told us earlier that she was worth a second visit. If that is true, then make the second visit and don't let the idea of her father retiring and you having to help financially affect your decision on her. As long as she hasn't asked you for money, she's done nothing wrong but if you two ever become engaged, offer her money so she doesn't have to work two jobs stressing out because she needs to prepare for a life with you.
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Offline Trenchcoat

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My solution was to end it earlier due to other reasons but you established she's a good girl and worth pursuing. If she's a good girl, honest, kind, loving, and marriage material, why give up on her now because her dad is retiring and now you see yourself having to support her and her parents while she prepares to move to a new country? She's not worth it anymore because of that?

I was in a similar situation before. My wife lived in Libya and we met in Ukraine. I did establish the fact that my wife was "into me" after the first meeting and she was a good girl so we were in an exclusive relationship. Next thing you know, the war in Libya came and they had to evacuate and my wife and her mom had to evacuate and her mom lost her job as a doctor. I didn't hesitate to support them because I already considered them family. If my wife was a stranger to me then before meeting, I wouldn't have offered her anything.

There are a lot of unknowns with your girl. You don't know if there is a relationship yet and if there will ever be one. You told us earlier that she was worth a second visit. If that is true, then make the second visit and don't let the idea of her father retiring and you having to help financially affect your decision on her. As long as she hasn't asked you for money, she's done nothing wrong but if you two ever become engaged, offer her money so she doesn't have to work two jobs stressing out because she needs to prepare for a life with you.

I think this is right, I think that if anything it will help bring matters to a head, so having now relaxed a bit as you know on here these sudden developments I'm not used to tend to freak me out a bit, I've realized that potentially it may help. Where before she was in a position that she could just take her time, she really needs to decide this time whether it is going to happen at all or spend her life looking after her parents - directly. I have no problems with contributing to support her parents in a married relationship it wouldn't be much out of my wages so it would hardly be a bother. Its just what it entails if she were to ask pre-marriage, i.e and we had not known each other that long.

I was not intending to give up on her, I stated that, merely that the outlook did not look too positive. Remember, she lives in Mariupol so, no nearby airport and probably not likely to be for quite some time. So while I could visit in her home city, it would be an undertaking. This I could do but as said before, I need to know that there is no ambiguity before this, particularity if she is short on time to see me while there.

Anyway, yeah, I'm thinking better on this now, I think for sure it would stop it going into third and fourth trip with questions still hanging. I think on her part she needs to come to terms with whether she is serious about a committed relationship or is happy working the next decade or two on a seven day week or similar. So I think I'm going to brush aside doubts and run with this as the situation is not going to get more favorable by waiting it could just leave me with an awkward situation in limbo land.
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Offline HoundDaddyLee

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I think this is right, I think that if anything it will help bring matters to a head, so having now relaxed a bit as you know on here these sudden developments I'm not used to tend to freak me out a bit, I've realized that potentially it may help. Where before she was in a position that she could just take her time, she really needs to decide this time whether it is going to happen at all or spend her life looking after her parents - directly. I have no problems with contributing to support her parents in a married relationship it wouldn't be much out of my wages so it would hardly be a bother. Its just what it entails if she were to ask pre-marriage, i.e and we had not known each other that long.

I was not intending to give up on her, I stated that, merely that the outlook did not look too positive. Remember, she lives in Mariupol so, no nearby airport and probably not likely to be for quite some time. So while I could visit in her home city, it would be an undertaking. This I could do but as said before, I need to know that there is no ambiguity before this, particularity if she is short on time to see me while there.

Anyway, yeah, I'm thinking better on this now, I think for sure it would stop it going into third and fourth trip with questions still hanging. I think on her part she needs to come to terms with whether she is serious about a committed relationship or is happy working the next decade or two on a seven day week or similar. So I think I'm going to brush aside doubts and run with this as the situation is not going to get more favorable by waiting it could just leave me with an awkward situation in limbo land.


There is an airport in Kherson. I know Turkish Airways has a flight there through Istanbul. A car ride to Mariupol would be well under $100. Probably not a smooth ride, but there is no excuse to not visit her home city. Meeting her in Kyiv or Odessa is not your only alternative.


Hope this helps,
HDL

Offline AkMike

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Sometimes the extra effort (travel) pays off in spades.

Offline Trenchcoat

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There is an airport in Kherson. I know Turkish Airways has a flight there through Istanbul. A car ride to Mariupol would be well under $100. Probably not a smooth ride, but there is no excuse to not visit her home city. Meeting her in Kyiv or Odessa is not your only alternative.


Hope this helps,
HDL

Thanks, HDL, I'll look into it, not sure if flights go from UK, might have to look for straight flights to Istanbul first. Still it would cut down on the journey time to her home city. I'm thinking second meet in Odessa first though so it is more relaxing and she gets away from the usual scene as until were close a home city visit probably not that necessary. Much appreciate the input though could save me a journey ordeal  :)
"If you make your own bread, then and only then, are you a free man unchained and alive living in pooty tang paradise, or say no and live in Incel island with all the others." - Krimster

Offline HoundDaddyLee

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Thanks, HDL, I'll look into it, not sure if flights go from UK, might have to look for straight flights to Istanbul first. Still it would cut down on the journey time to her home city. I'm thinking second meet in Odessa first though so it is more relaxing and she gets away from the usual scene as until were close a home city visit probably not that necessary. Much appreciate the input though could save me a journey ordeal  :)


Where in the UK do you fly out of? I am sure there is a Turkish Airways flight from Heathrow. Turkish Airways is a good airline and every time I have flown them, the planes are clean and comfortable. Istanbul Airport is very nice with great restaurants if you have a long layover.


Odessa is a beautiful city and I am sure you both will have fun.


HDL

Offline LAman

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There is an airport in Kherson. I know Turkish Airways has a flight there through Istanbul. A car ride to Mariupol would be well under $100. Probably not a smooth ride, but there is no excuse to not visit her home city. Meeting her in Kyiv or Odessa is not your only alternative.


Hope this helps,
HDL

HDL, are you sure Kherson to Mariupol is well under $100??? You do know it is over 400km?? It is <<500km from Kiev to Odesa, that is around $250-$300. Maybe you mean a bus???

Cities closer to Mariupol are  Dnipropetrovsk and Zaporoizhia


BTW- I had no idea there were flights into Kherson, thanks HDL for info.
Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift

Offline lyndontom

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There is an airport in Kherson. I know Turkish Airways has a flight there through Istanbul. A car ride to Mariupol would be well under $100. Probably not a smooth ride, but there is no excuse to not visit her home city. Meeting her in Kyiv or Odessa is not your only alternative.


Hope this helps,
HDL


HDL is correct, I am flying into Odessa next month, spending some time in Nikolaev then flying out of Kherson back into Manchester. So depending on where in the UK you are, its a good option. The layover times work out well doing it the sequence I am.

Offline LAman

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Thanks, HDL, I'll look into it, not sure if flights go from UK, might have to look for straight flights to Istanbul first. Still it would cut down on the journey time to her home city. I'm thinking second meet in Odessa first though so it is more relaxing and she gets away from the usual scene as until were close a home city visit probably not that necessary. Much appreciate the input though could save me a journey ordeal  :)

Trench....I read most of your story and cannot figure out your thinking. I read many excuses, many hopes, and analyzing up the 'gazzuga'. If you have to spend so much time trying to figure out what is going on, it may not be worth it. I don't know this girl you speak of but she TOLD you she wants to take her time....you either believe her and stop the analyzing or move on. Yet you cling to every new 'situation' trying to figure what it may/may not mean. If you want to meet this girl again....go for it but why keep telling us about every little thing that happens and what it means.....

Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift

Offline ML

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The only sane thing to do is stop this relationship with her now.

Yes, I know that sounds cold hearted, but it's the only rational thing to do.

Years ago, there used to be requirement of physical or blood tests before marriage in USA.  I don't think it's required in many states now.

Anyway, the idea was that if it were found that one or both had some serious medical condition, it might give some easy way out for the other party to call it quits.  So that was rather cold hearted also; your situation is the same thing with the new thing concerning money for her parents.

Another example just came to mind also.  Existing financial situations.  i.e.  It is advised that if a person discovers that the intended partner has unwieldy amounts of student or other types of loans and credit card bills  outstanding . . . then best to cool things until those are resolved.  Again, doesn't sound like something that would be considered when true love is involved . . . but is the only sane thing to do.

Remember the thread here where the Wisconsin guy finds out his wife has serious psychological problems?  And some here ask him . . . where the he!! did you come up with her?

This same question applies to you and your gal.

My spouse is continually amazed how guys keep coming up with the problem gals when (in her opinion) there are thousands of trouble free gals in Ukraine.  The only drawback (from my perspective) of those she knows is lack of English skills.

Some of the stories I read here from guys such as you almost makes me sick at my stomach with anguish for you.

And I keep trying to find a reason why you continue with her;  there is no sane reason.
« Last Edit: May 01, 2016, 02:26:37 PM by ML »
A beautiful woman is pleasant to look at, but it is easier to live with a pleasant acting one.

 

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