Trip in July

[gaspar227]

So I really hope to have 2 weeks in July for vacation.  I realize I'm taking a lot of vacations (this would be my 3rd trip this year to Ukraine).  But i really want to do it differently than before. 

As is often the case first trip was a visit one girl trip.  Second trip was really just an extension of the first.  I've lain out the nightmare of the European vacation meet up.

So I've really done 2 of the major ways to meet these women. (visit 1, go on vacation)

I will preface this with I'm talking to another absolute stunner of a woman -- who has shown ZERO red flags and is much the opposite of the last girl.  BUT -- since she hasn't tattooed my name on her hand I don't have a good gauge of her interest in me!!

She's from Smila -- which according to her is a city NOT a village -- UM OK -- near Cherkassy -- which again is considered a city -- NOT a town (we have had very long discussions about this). 

To give it context I found this AirBNB add for a place in Smila...and I cannot fathom this not being a joke/false add.  I mean seriously guys you have to see this.  It's got to be fake right?  My friend in Odessa insists it's normal for Central Ukraine, but I gotta think he's just messing with me too.  I mean he didn't even know Smila existed. 

I mean the crazy doll bed, the tire in the lake (at least point the other way) and the line in the description:

    "a pond of 14 hectares in 3 minutes (fishing, swimming) Smela walk to the town for 20 minutes, next to the
     house bus station, two stores (50 and 200 m), live and enjoy in the village have a cow (fresh milk can be
     taken). "

http://www.airbnb.com/rooms/345762?guests=1&adults=1&s=41&user_id=164048207&ref_device_id=8c47ac054857cc74&_branch_match_id=531628749165558349

I'm scared if this is real.  And I don't scare easy.

Did anyone see the movie "Hostel?"

Regardless I want to meet this woman.  BUT I'm not sure how into me she is.  I want to take 2 weeks, and I need a serious backup plan if this doesn't work. 

SO!  Here's what I was thinking. 

Have her come to Kiev.  I'll pay for the trip and a room and just plan to hangout for a couple days.  If it goes well, we can go to Cherkassy or ::gulp:: smila and hang out for a bit.  I don't know -- she seems like a really good girl -- so it's not like I'm even looking to hookup, but I can't imagine what we would do there for 2 weeks.  If she insists, i think i compromise in Cherkassy...but if she really insists on Smila, then I think something's up and I'll probably pass. 

What I really want to do is take a train to Lviv and maybe down to Bukavel to scout a possible snowboard trip this winter from Kiev.  I also want to end up in Odessa to visit my friend and see that city in the Summer.  So my hope is that we can kind of do a vagabond trip (on me) and visit Ukraine. 

I haven't really brought this up to her, and I'm unsure if its even something Ukrainians do.  She doesn't have a steady job that I can tell, and I mean come on...Smila is microscopic. 

I figure if she's not into me, or into this trip idea, that I can just take the trip solo after hanging out for a while in Kiev with her or worst case Cherkassy. 

If I'm on my own with I have ukrainedate.com/tinder/whatever and  I can at least scare up company along the way and meet women even if it's just for the free meals.  Maybe I'll get lucky. 

So this would sort of be a talk to 1 -- meet with 1 with a twist/pivot to just get on a train, go somewhere and find a place to stay.  From what I can see there are always very cheap AirBNB places almost anywhere (even Smila), the trains are dirt cheap, food/booze cheap.  So aside from a plane ticket, there's hardly anywhere in the world that I can spend 2 weeks as inexpensively as this. 

If I'm not being super picky -- I have had no problem getting very lovely women that I would be very excited about in the US to respond to me on these sites.  I've just been looking for the unicorn (what a disaster that has turned out to be LMAO). 

Am I just romanticizing and exhausting and frustrating vacation from hell, or do you think it could really turn out to be a Jack kerouacesque adventure?  I mean I can always just go fishing in cabo or even take a trip to Thailand, but I really like Ukraine, and I feel like this would be a very cool way -- and time of year -- to really understand the country better.  If I had this amazing angel with me... OMG... but even if I didn't I think it would be very educational and fun. 

Any thoughts on this idea? I would probably stay West of the Dneiper since I really want to see Bukevel and don't want to even get close to a war.

Places I HAVE to visit?  Places to Avoid? Chances of me going missing?

PS -- I know almost zero Russian.  I'm cramming as we speak.  My experience is that very few people speak English and that's in Odessa so I'm fully aware that I will need to wear my big boy pants, not get outrageously drunk, keep cash to a minimum etc.

[DaveNY]

According to Wikipedia Smila has about 70,000 people so I'd consider it a small city. The Airbnb apartment does look crazy on the inside. Outside is typical Soviet design from the 50s or 60s. I wouldn't stay there. Checking other prices in the area on Airbnb, there are cheaper places available that seem better, at least in appearance.

Any chance the woman you're visiting could recommend a nice place? If you're only visiting her you don't want to be much more than a short bus ride away. No sense getting a place a long bus ride away just to save a few dollars.   

Good luck with your trip. Post more information as the trip develops. 

[Boethius]

Not only is Smila not a village or a town, but in Soviet times, it was a raion centre (regional centre).

Smila had a Cossack regiment in the 17th century, so it is famous to those who know Cossack history.

The airbnb looks very real.  That is a very typical Soviet apartment, other than the washer and dryer.  As long as it is clean, there is nothing to fear.  But, I’d probably book a hotel room.

I do have to ask, though, how serious you are about this in terms of finding a lifelong partner versus someone to keep your bed warm.  Seven weeks ago, you were on vacation with a woman you had started the K-1 process on.  Presumably, you had feelings for her, enough to hope to build a life with her. Can you turn those feelings on and off so easily?  No need to respond, it’s really more for you to think about.

[gaspar227]

that's why i'm saying my focus was to see the country.  I don't have expectations really on this trip.  I had the trip scheduled to be with the other woman and I want to do something with the time.  I really only wanted to meet this girl because she seems legit and to have a potential partner to travel with.  I seriously would pay for a separate room/bed or whatever.   

I only ask about the credence because why put such bad sheets on the bed and the scary doll.  Why show the 'lake' with the trash all around -- why not just a better angle?. 

I mean I've looked at 100s of AirBNB, and to charge more than double the rate of others in the area, the effort is just silly bad.  It would take little effort to clean the place and make the pictures much more appealing.

"you can milk the cow in the village?"  I mean that's just strange. 

I'm not doubting the place exists, it's just not like any other ads on airbnb - I mean it's straight out of a Chernobyl photo album.  Who would pay top dollar for this (it's more than the 'honeymoon suite'). 

[BillyB]

Have her come to Kiev.  I'll pay for the trip and a room and just plan to hangout for a couple days.  If it goes well, we can go to Cherkassy or ::gulp:: smila and hang out for a bit.  I don't know -- she seems like a really good girl -- so it's not like I'm even looking to hookup, but I can't imagine what we would do there for 2 weeks.  If she insists, i think i compromise in Cherkassy...but if she really insists on Smila, then I think something's up and I'll probably pass. 

If she recommends you coming to Smila, you'd be suspicious and dump her? Before visiting any woman, do enough talk on telephone and Skype to get comfortable you're dealing with a sincere person.

How many cities have you seen? Why not take a chance and visit the middle of nowhere? If she's a winner, go. Meet her family and friends and see her life how she lives it. If you don't like her after a few days, get a ride back to Kiev and contact someone renting apartments. Make sure to know the contacts phone numbers before flying over there.

[JayH]

Not only is Smila not a village or a town, but in Soviet times, it was a raion centre (regional centre).

Smila had a Cossack regiment in the 17th century, so it is famous to those who know Cossack history.

The airbnb looks very real.  That is a very typical Soviet apartment, other than the washer and dryer.  As long as it is clean, there is nothing to fear.  But, I’d probably book a hotel room.

 

Smila  is no Odesa or Kyiv  -- not even a Cherkasy!

Smila is fairly typical of the much smaller cities  -- and a Ukraine very few MoB'ers will never visit or see(let alone understand)

I was there last month

[Trenchcoat]

Gaspar,  I too have made the holiday vacation mistake with a girl. It seems to often make a relationship more problematic and does it harm rather than help despite all the money & effort spent.

I've also done the bring girl to Kiev, twice. It's not as bad a mistake as the holiday vacation but still a mistake I feel. I enjoyed it immensely both times but it puts the hurdle of meeting girl in her own city further down the road. Better to have that hurdle up first upfront otherwise it may trip you up later in some way and you'll have wasted more time, etc.

Essentially it's the girl we go for over a vacation. If it's to her dreary city then go there and see if she is fun to be with even in a dreary place. Meet all her family and any friends and get to know the heart of her life. I would give my right arm for a girl to want me to visit her city, meet her family, etc. To me it is a very good sign it tells me the woman is genuine (assuming it's not a fake profile, etc) and is after a relationship, not a holiday. Only thing left is to go and see if there is any real chemistry if not then spend the test of your time calling up other women wherever you fancy in Ukraine I would say.

[msmob]

..said the guy 'expert' in long-term relationships ...

Trench you ARE clueless at this venture and keep offering 'advice' when you haven't even worn the t-shirt of keeping a lass happy for more than a few days

To Gaspar:

Not knowing the lingo means that you either rely on the lass and cannot figure out what's going down - plus she'll bring a friend ( or two)  who speaks better English and you'll be paying for everyone

Either you have a wing-man you can rely on - or you will be frustrated at not understanding what's being planned

That's the worst case scenario

[gaspar227]

If she recommends you coming to Smila, you'd be suspicious and dump her? Before visiting any woman, do enough talk on telephone and Skype to get comfortable you're dealing with a sincere person.

How many cities have you seen? Why not take a chance and visit the middle of nowhere? If she's a winner, go. Meet her family and friends and see her life how she lives it. If you don't like her after a few days, get a ride back to Kiev and contact someone renting apartments. Make sure to know the contacts phone numbers before flying over there.

I guess I was more saying that I would like her to come to Kiev and we could see if we hit it off at all.  If we did, and she wanted me to go to Smila -- sure I'm in total agreement.  This gets to the point Boethius made.  I'm not sure if I want to chase around Ukraine right now with puppy dog eyes over the first girl that shows slight interes.  I had this time slotted to do a trip to with my Odessa girl -- but that done.  The girl I've been talking to is NOT 100% in.  She's certainly giving me lots of attention, but she's not convinced I'm the right guy for her, and honestly I'm not convinced she's right for me. 

So I'm looking for a little bit of accommodation here.  I'm flying 10,000 KM and spending 1000s to get to Ukraine -- it's not a lot to ask for her to take a 3 hour trip to Kiev and at least meet me there and have dinner before I try to navigate to Smila. Because if she blows me off in Smila what am I going to do?  That's at least 2 days wasted and I'll be bummed out to begin the trip.   If nothing else it gives me a level set on her interest.  At least that's how I see it.  I could see it any number of ways, but I don't want to waste my time either.  I agree with Trench that if she was really excited and telling me all the great things we could do/people she wants me to meet, that I would go without question. But that just isn't the case, and rightfully so it's very early in our conversations, so I'm trying to decide on if I should just do the trip regardless, or focus it around her -- unfortunately I need to plan a major trip here...it's $1500 + in just airfare and at least 20 hours each way.  4th time this year and it's getting old if at the same time routine LOL. 

I am confident that if I showed up in Kiev I could get a lot of girls like you indicated that just want a free dinner and some English practice.  Same with Lviv and Odessa, maybe Cherkasy.  For me this would be cost-effective Ukrainian woman dating lessons and entertaining.  And you never know what might click regardless.  It's no different than dating here IMO.  Plus my buddy in Odessa says he's got some women he wants me to meet.  50/50 on that though...

I have a life event that's going to decide IF I make the trip with or without the interest of the Smila woman.  If we get more serious, I'll certainly arrange things differently.  But time is short and i'm not really desperate for a warm bed so much as I want to know the places these women are from.  I really think that will give me a good perspective in pursuing them in the future.  Plus I can say...oh yeah I've been to Joe's crab shack on the corner, etc.  Kinda Like Jay throws it around.  The more comfortable you are, the more seriously you'll get taken IMO.

I just know that winter is coming, and I may be tied up for the rest of the summer so it's early July or never for the vagabond trip (at least this year). 

Anyone done Bukevel?  I am really excited to check that out.  If the snowboarding is any good at all, that would be a lot of fun.

As always thanks for your patience with my rambling and all the advice. 

[Trenchcoat]

Trench you ARE clueless at this venture and keep offering 'advice' when you haven't even worn the t-shirt of keeping a lass happy for more than a few days

It's not advice it's opinion/discussion if that makes it easier for you, old boy

Seriously, no intention of stepping on your toes of your high & lofty being on all things FSU. It was a simple discussion as all my posts are meant to be, I'm not saying I'm right, I'm just saying what I found or thought about something that is all. This is a forum after all or are we all to remain quiet while you harp on.

[Trenchcoat]

Gaspar, the second girl I met in Nikolaev well she insisted she would only see me there, that she would not travel. Only when I explained to her that I was going the distance (not nearly as far as you mind) to the airport then on the plane from the UK then from the Airport to Odessa and pointed out how much bother I was going to with the travelling already did she then shift of her staunch refusal to travel and realised that I had a point.

In the end though I decided to go to Nikolaev (since it still remained undecided) since I was interested to see what the place looked like having heard a fair bit on here about it. Suffice to say it was interesting but only for a few days, any longer and I think I could see myself getting real bored there. The girl I met for about an hour for a short dinner but there was nothing there and that was that, she had other stuff to do. So I had put myself out almost needlessly, I could have called up other girls on the hoof but since I was booking in for three days I preferred to look around Nikolaev and check out the culture and stuff.

I think if she's potentially just another girl then bussing her in is probably not a bad idea in that situation. Bussing in girls who interest you more than the local crop of girls may not be a bad idea. It may cost a little more depending upon arrangements but could be cost affective in terms of time spent. If you set it against your time being at a premium then it could the more efficient way about it is my thoughts.

[msmob]

It's not advice it's opinion/discussion if that makes it easier for you, old boy

Seriously, no intention of stepping on your toes of your high & lofty being on all things FSU. It was a simple discussion as all my posts are meant to be, I'm not saying I'm right, I'm just saying what I found or thought about something that is all. This is a forum after all or are we all to remain quiet while you harp on.

Trench, your 'opinion' - is SO often unwise - I seriously wonder if you have even been to the places you tell us about 

Still you have won 'praise' from BillyB - so you both  have a member of your respective fan clubs