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Author Topic: Online Dating Multiple Women  (Read 2006 times)

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Online msmob

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Re: Online Dating Multiple Women
« Reply #25 on: June 11, 2018, 04:15:29 AM »
It is no brainer ..'Donetsk girl' is sending you images to rev you up - but wants to proceed slowly ? ...Hmm .. MASSIVE red flag

Don't let the little brain control you
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Offline Boethius

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Re: Online Dating Multiple Women
« Reply #26 on: June 11, 2018, 04:51:12 AM »
I think you should go see the Moscow woman. Until then, communicate with whoever you wish.  Obviously if you decide to commit to one woman, you will cease communication with others. Just donít lie.
To love someone means to see him as God intended him. - Fyodor Dostoevksy

Offline Surfer

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Re: Online Dating Multiple Women
« Reply #27 on: June 11, 2018, 05:49:05 AM »
It is no brainer ..'Donetsk girl' is sending you images to rev you up - but wants to proceed slowly ? ...Hmm .. MASSIVE red flag

Don't let the little brain control you

I understand what you mean and I know that it will seem this way from the description as well. Firstly, she sent that image only 2 times. And both the times, she did this only in response to me questioning her intentions and whether she was serious or not.

In fact, she increased closeness to me after moving from Donetsk to another city. And very recently, she herself brought up the thing about meeting and said she is sorting out her schedule so that we can discuss about the meeting.

That's why I was going to tell her that we have known each other for quite a while, sufficient time to get to know each other and now the meeting must happen in real life if she wants it too. She has to sort out her schedule and then I can plan. Just wanted her to understand that it's not reasonable for her to expect me to keep waiting for her.

Offline Surfer

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Re: Online Dating Multiple Women
« Reply #28 on: June 11, 2018, 05:52:52 AM »
I think you should go see the Moscow woman. Until then, communicate with whoever you wish.  Obviously if you decide to commit to one woman, you will cease communication with others. Just donít lie.

I agree with you. I have just started communicating with the Moscow woman. If it goes well with her, then I will visit soon. The visa process itself will take around a month. So, I am planning to book the visa anyway. Meanwhile can get to know her better.

And indeed, once I commit to a woman, I will cease communication with others. It's just that I wanted the Donetsk girl to understand that there's no such thing as commitment online. Which she herself agrees. So, if she really feels there could be a committed relation, she has to meet in real life.

Online jone

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Re: Online Dating Multiple Women
« Reply #29 on: June 11, 2018, 09:05:39 AM »
All of these 'intimate' video calls and messages are just foreplay.  Nothing is real until the meet.  If she can't schedule a time together, then she is just feeding her ego.  Meet the gal in Moscow and any other gal.  There's no such thing as exclusivity until you hold someone in your arms and kiss her and see if she is the one.

As for other guys trying to get her attention, her telling you that is very immature.  Either you are a couple or you're not.  And without the meet .... you're not.
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Online BillyB

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Re: Online Dating Multiple Women
« Reply #30 on: June 11, 2018, 09:16:13 AM »
Just wanted her to understand that it's not reasonable for her to expect me to keep waiting for her.

So the Donetsk girl told you she's moving and busy with work and won't have much time for you if you visited but at the same time she's telling you you're her man and she's forsaking all others?

What is crazy is you dedicating your life to someone you never met. If she has the hots for you, she'd want you to come right away.
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Offline Surfer

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Re: Online Dating Multiple Women
« Reply #31 on: June 11, 2018, 09:49:42 AM »
All of these 'intimate' video calls and messages are just foreplay.  Nothing is real until the meet.  If she can't schedule a time together, then she is just feeding her ego.  Meet the gal in Moscow and any other gal.  There's no such thing as exclusivity until you hold someone in your arms and kiss her and see if she is the one.

As for other guys trying to get her attention, her telling you that is very immature.  Either you are a couple or you're not.  And without the meet .... you're not.

Thanks @jone. I agree with you. If she was going to get as intimate as that in real life, she has my complete attention. At this point, it's just something in initial phase and she has to agree to meet in real life.

I hope it goes well with the Moscow girl and then I'll plan to meet her.

Offline Surfer

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Re: Online Dating Multiple Women
« Reply #32 on: June 11, 2018, 09:55:15 AM »
So the Donetsk girl told you she's moving and busy with work and won't have much time for you if you visited but at the same time she's telling you you're her man and she's forsaking all others?

What is crazy is you dedicating your life to someone you never met. If she has the hots for you, she'd want you to come right away.

Yeah, she seems to be very cautious with every step she takes towards a relation. She mentioned a couple of times that her mother asks about me and how are things going.

The Donetsk girl said that she has never met anyone through Internet before in her life and this is the first time.

I'll take your advises and schedule to meet the ones who are willing to meet while continue talking to ones a little bit who want some more time.

Online jone

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Re: Online Dating Multiple Women
« Reply #33 on: June 11, 2018, 09:58:07 AM »
Yeah, she seems to be very cautious with every step she takes towards a relation. She mentioned a couple of times that her mother asks about me and how are things going.

The Donetsk girl said that she has never met anyone through Internet before in her life and this is the first time.

I'll take your advises and schedule to meet the ones who are willing to meet while continue talking to ones a little bit who want some more time.

One more thing:  If you go to meet Moscow Girl, let her know that the reason you are going to Moscow is to meet her.  Not for any other reason.  A woman needs to know that you think it important enough to get on an airplane and sacrifice your time and resources to MEET HER.  This is very important in a budding relationship.
Experience keeps a dear school but fools will learn at no other - Benjamin Franklin

Offline Surfer

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Re: Online Dating Multiple Women
« Reply #34 on: June 11, 2018, 10:08:07 AM »
One more thing:  If you go to meet Moscow Girl, let her know that the reason you are going to Moscow is to meet her.  Not for any other reason.  A woman needs to know that you think it important enough to get on an airplane and sacrifice your time and resources to MEET HER.  This is very important in a budding relationship.

I absolutely agree with you and thanks for the suggestion. When I plan to tell her about the meeting, I will definitely let her know that I am coming there to "meet her".

By the way, during the second email itself she asked me: "Are you planning to visit Moscow?"

Since I had just started communicating with her at that point, I kept my response simple: "I will absolutely get on a plane and visit Moscow to meet if there is a mutual like."

Let's see how it goes.

Online jone

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Re: Online Dating Multiple Women
« Reply #35 on: June 11, 2018, 11:17:53 AM »
Yeah, she seems to be very cautious with every step she takes towards a relation. She mentioned a couple of times that her mother asks about me and how are things going.

The Donetsk girl said that she has never met anyone through Internet before in her life and this is the first time.

I'll take your advises and schedule to meet the ones who are willing to meet while continue talking to ones a little bit who want some more time.

The more you talk about this woman, the less I am convinced that she is a woman to get involved with.  Most women that I have met in the FSU are very practical and level headed.  This one seems like a feather head.
Experience keeps a dear school but fools will learn at no other - Benjamin Franklin

Offline Surfer

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Re: Online Dating Multiple Women
« Reply #36 on: June 11, 2018, 12:51:46 PM »
The more you talk about this woman, the less I am convinced that she is a woman to get involved with.  Most women that I have met in the FSU are very practical and level headed.  This one seems like a feather head.

I know what you mean. She does indeed act a bit immature although she has a good understanding of emotions and relations. I wouldn't say that I gel with this girl the best. She has her own plus and minus. She is really into me though.

Anyway, today, I spoke to her once again and she said, within a week or two, she will understand her work schedule better and will let me know on her own as discussed. She asked me my comfortable timing and I said August/September. She immediately said August. I'm going to explore meanwhile and see how it goes.

Online jone

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Re: Online Dating Multiple Women
« Reply #37 on: June 11, 2018, 01:12:18 PM »
I know what you mean. She does indeed act a bit immature although she has a good understanding of emotions and relations. I wouldn't say that I gel with this girl the best. She has her own plus and minus. She is really into me though.

Anyway, today, I spoke to her once again and she said, within a week or two, she will understand her work schedule better and will let me know on her own as discussed. She asked me my comfortable timing and I said August/September. She immediately said August. I'm going to explore meanwhile and see how it goes.

For those who aren't familiar with the Eastern European mindset, mid to late August is considered national vacation time.  More so than any other time of the year, it is difficult to do any business transactions.  If you can find a lady to take a week away with you at this time of the year, you have earned a dear place in her heart.  Either that or she desperately wants to get away and has no other options.  This is time time of year that families meet up.  That destination vacations are planned.  And that all Eastern Europeans look forward to all year.
Experience keeps a dear school but fools will learn at no other - Benjamin Franklin

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Re: Online Dating Multiple Women
« Reply #38 on: June 11, 2018, 01:47:21 PM »
For those who aren't familiar with the Eastern European mindset, mid to late August is considered national vacation time.  More so than any other time of the year, it is difficult to do any business transactions.  If you can find a lady to take a week away with you at this time of the year, you have earned a dear place in her heart.  Either that or she desperately wants to get away and has no other options.  This is time time of year that families meet up.  That destination vacations are planned.  And that all Eastern Europeans look forward to all year.

Thanks for sharing the details. As I told you earlier, I certainly felt that this girl is really into me. She was just being cautious with starting a new relation. However, she and I have a common understanding now that only a real meeting can confirm.

Meanwhile, I am planning to meet other women who I feel are marriage material in Russia. So, I have approximately 1 month time in hand before I plan anything with the Donetsk girl.

Online Nightwish

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Re: Online Dating Multiple Women
« Reply #39 on: June 11, 2018, 02:13:13 PM »
Thanks for sharing the details. As I told you earlier, I certainly felt that this girl is really into me. She was just being cautious with starting a new relation. However, she and I have a common understanding now that only a real meeting can confirm.

Meanwhile, I am planning to meet other women who I feel are marriage material in Russia. So, I have approximately 1 month time in hand before I plan anything with the Donetsk girl.

Go online, buy a return ticket for a weekend in Ukraine, now you don't mention in what city she resides, but my guess is Kyiv(?), let her know you are coming there for a couple of days, and even if she has a busy schedule and can't take time off work, she will still be able to see you if she is really in to you.  If all you get is excuses - dead drop like a hot potato and move on.

Here is a good estimate about the cost I made for another English dude..
Quote
http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=22008.msg482085#msg482085
Now lets see what a trip would cost you today.
Ukraine Airlines from Gatwick
Thu, 14 Jun
LGW - KBP
Sun, 17 Jun
KBP - LGW
TOTAL PRICE £190 - $ 264.58

Premier Hotel Rus 3 star hotel
3 nights with breakfast
TOTAL PRICE £136 - $ 188

3 lunch + 3 dinner + the odd coffee or tea, taxi etc...  £ 300 - $ 380
Meal for 2 People, Mid-range Restaurant, Three-course   500-1000 UAH £ 14-28 / $20-40

So you see I counted a little on the high side even with £ 300 but for the sake of argument say you spend that amount.

Total £ 650-700  or  $890-950

You have 3 whole days in Ukraine and it that time you can at least ring up 3-6 dates, or focus on one or two.
If that don't work out, there is "a gazillion" other ladies in Kyiv just waiting to go out with a handsome serious man.. and who knows...
I wrote a little about one of my 'cold' approaches here.. worked like a charm for me ;)
http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=22008.msg483561#msg483561
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Online jone

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Re: Online Dating Multiple Women
« Reply #40 on: June 11, 2018, 02:56:56 PM »
Shee-it!

If I lived in the UK, I'd hop on the plane on a moment's notice to find out if a woman was the one.  A long weekend from London is perfectly acceptable.  And if the woman doesn't want to meet with you for a weekend event, go on to the next one.  But based on what is written here, my guess is that she is not the one, anyway.

Three hundred bucks for a weekend of dating is No-thing!  I spend that much on a dinner with a woman.  Well, a dinner and what comes afterwards.....

Sometimes its is important to find out what the little head has to say.
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Online Nightwish

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Re: Online Dating Multiple Women
« Reply #41 on: June 11, 2018, 03:06:57 PM »
Shee-it!

If I lived in the UK, I'd hop on the plane on a moment's notice to find out if a woman was the one.  A long weekend from London is perfectly acceptable.  And if the woman doesn't want to meet with you for a weekend event, go on to the next one.  But based on what is written here, my guess is that she is not the one, anyway.

Three hundred bucks for a weekend of dating is No-thing!  I spend that much on a dinner with a woman.  Well, a dinner and what comes afterwards.....

Sometimes its is important to find out what the little head has to say.

you mean the $200 you left on the nightstand when you snuck out while she slept ?  :cheesy:
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Re: Online Dating Multiple Women
« Reply #42 on: June 11, 2018, 03:19:47 PM »
you mean the $200 you left on the nightstand when you snuck out while she slept ?  :cheesy:

That, my friend, is how much you would leave. 

The women I hang out with are much less expensive.  Two hundred dollars left for one of them and they would think they broke the bank.
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Online Nightwish

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Re: Online Dating Multiple Women
« Reply #43 on: June 11, 2018, 03:34:01 PM »
That, my friend, is how much you would leave. 

The women I hang out with are much less expensive.  Two hundred dollars left for one of them and they would think they broke the bank.
:ROFL:

Well I can only count my blessings I lived this close that I do, so many trips where taken at the spur of the moment, as I said before, the shortest I talked to someone online before deciding to go meet her was 2 days, started talking to her on Wednesday evening, went to Ukraine Friday evening, spent those two days more or less talking endlessly around the clock, and that short encounter ended up in a 3-4 month long relationship.
After which time she realized what it really meant leaving Ukraine, work, friends, family, relatives.. and got cold feet. So we parted on good terms, and I got back in the game after a short cool down period.
so it CAN happen, but of course not every time.

What many here failed to mention, or maybe never encountered is that it's when a relationship starts to get serious and the woman in this case start thinking about really leaving her homeland, that is when the doubts and fears starts to come, many think they are ready to leave going in to this, but when faces with the fact.. it is a little harder to just pick up and leave.

Can also have a contributing factor that most women I have met have been single moms, with a child  ~10-15 year old.. it is not only her own life to think about, but also the life of her child.
« Last Edit: June 11, 2018, 03:41:14 PM by Nightwish »
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Online msmob

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Re: Online Dating Multiple Women
« Reply #44 on: June 11, 2018, 04:23:21 PM »
For those who aren't familiar with the Eastern European mindset, mid to late August is considered national vacation time.  More so than any other time of the year, it is difficult to do any business transactions.  If you can find a lady to take a week away with you at this time of the year, you have earned a dear place in her heart.  Either that or she desperately wants to get away and has no other options.  This is time time of year that families meet up.  That destination vacations are planned.  And that all Eastern Europeans look forward to all year.

Which part of E.Europe are you referring to ?  It's just that you seem to be describing parts of WESTERN Europe...
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Re: Online Dating Multiple Women
« Reply #45 on: June 11, 2018, 06:49:58 PM »
Two hundred dollars left for one of them and they would think they broke the bank.



 ;D
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Online 2tallbill

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Re: Online Dating Multiple Women
« Reply #46 on: June 11, 2018, 07:10:41 PM »
No, No, No ! ;)

MY experience is that WMVM is the high risk / high stress strategy ... this is supposed to be FUN .. not walking a tight rope..

With the advent of video chat for most of us - the risk is virtually eliminated

I did not have a 'plan B' - never even dreamt of it

Your personality is suited to a visit one strategy.
I've been on Skype daily and then visited one girl in Georgia and it didn't work out
I've been on Skype daily and then visited one girl in Portland and it didn't work out
I've been on Skype daily and then visited one girl in Voronezh and it didn't work out

My back up plan was to meet other girls if it didn't work out. I didn't have
back up girls lined up. I only searched and found them after things didn't
work out.

FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Kiss the girl, don't ask her first.

Online msmob

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Re: Online Dating Multiple Women
« Reply #47 on: June 12, 2018, 04:03:34 AM »
Your personality is suited to a visit one strategy.


Probably so - and presumably the ladies ?

I've been on Skype daily and then visited one girl in Georgia and it didn't work out
I've been on Skype daily and then visited one girl in Portland and it didn't work out
I've been on Skype daily and then visited one girl in Voronezh and it didn't work out

That suggests  (to me ) that you were doing something wrong / missing some signs .?

My back up plan was to meet other girls if it didn't work out. I didn't have
back up girls lined up. I only searched and found them after things didn't
work out.

Nought wrong with that ...  Suggesting having a 'plan B' - ( to me) read like you recommended having lasses lined up

Thanks for making that clear
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Offline Surfer

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Re: Online Dating Multiple Women
« Reply #48 on: June 12, 2018, 04:19:53 AM »
What many here failed to mention, or maybe never encountered is that it's when a relationship starts to get serious and the woman in this case start thinking about really leaving her homeland, that is when the doubts and fears starts to come, many think they are ready to leave going in to this, but when faces with the fact.. it is a little harder to just pick up and leave.

The Donetsk girl I was telling about earlier. She precisely mentioned this point a couple of times earlier. She said, she often thinks about this. I knew that she has several fears and confusion. And the good thing is that she was always open and upfront about her concerns.

Sometimes, I feel I should have just gone and met her over a weekend as you guys suggested. However, meanwhile I started talking to another girl from Moscow and now I am thinking of meeting her first.

Moreover, Donetsk girl I didn't meet through EM. I met her through VK and we actually started as friends. If things don't work out with her, I am certain that she will take it well because she is already aware of the difficulties involved.

And I understand very well what you mention. Last year, I dated a girl from Chelyabinsk. Once again, I didn't meet her through any dating or marriage site. However, when I met her in real life. Her intentions as well as mine were clear. We spent a great time together. She came to the airport along with me and wouldn't let go off my hand for even a moment. It was cute. Great memories. However, when I returned back to homeland, things went downhill from there. Because when I met her, she asked several questions about how she will take care of her mother and grandmother after she leaves Russia. That is indeed a big concern for many girls there. Although, it's another topic for discussion.

I know that the Donetsk girl I mentioned above has shown several signs of being extra cautious. But there are valid reasons for that as well. She has never dated anyone from outside Ukraine in her life before. And she often tried to think about how the life will be after a serious relationship starts.

Some girls are quickly ready to meet because anyway, as a man you would be traveling all the way, it's easier for her to say yes. They may even quickly get into a relation but they do not always think much about the future scenarios. And after a few weeks or months, these issues pop up. So, in my opinion, it's better to discuss all this in the initial stages.

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Re: Online Dating Multiple Women
« Reply #49 on: June 12, 2018, 09:09:42 PM »

Probably so - and presumably the ladies ?

Absolutely, if you spend a bunch of time with a woman, however I found
zero girls upset that I asked out for coffee because something didn't work
out with the girl I came to see.

100% of the girls I met in the past didn't work out, until I met Angel Eyes
the same for the girls that agreed to meet me for coffee or tea. Whoever
they met in the past didn't work out or they would never meet with me.

Here is the MAIN tactical strategy if you visit many.
Never date a girl twice if you don't think that she might be the one.
When you meet the right girl you stop dating others and pursue her
exclusively.

When you do that you are just doing the same as the men who write
letters to many girls. You are just learning if you have chemistry first
before spending time getting to know them.

You DON'T spend time getting to know to more than one girl at a time.
 

That suggests  (to me ) that you were doing something wrong / missing some signs .?

Possibly/Probably, but it's very common and most don't meet the right girl on
a first trip even with Skype.


Nought wrong with that ...  Suggesting having a 'plan B' - ( to me) read like you recommended having lasses lined up

Thanks for making that clear

Lining up girls means that you don't think that the girl you are meeting
is the one. If so, then she probably isn't. The purpose of a meet one is
to be sift through different girls, using letters, Skype etc, then find a girl
who you are(cautiously) optimistic that she is the one.

If you weren't clear then newbies probably weren't clear either as you know
me far better than the newbies do. I'm glad you challenged me to clarify.
FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Kiss the girl, don't ask her first.

 

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