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Author Topic: Russian/Ukranian women - views on sex before marriage?  (Read 53145 times)

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Online Faux Pas

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Re: Russian/Ukranian women - views on sex before marriage?
« Reply #25 on: August 10, 2012, 08:15:39 AM »
To the OP:


I think by now the lady might be worried that you have some problems in sex department. Take my advise or not but I would recommend next time you are together do not wait for her to start, make a strong move until she either plays along or says no. And if she says no you can ask why and it all will be clear :-) Good luck.

Likely there is a lot of truth here. Joe, there is also likely a lot of truth somewhere in the middle of your perception about her and her religious beliefs and the opinions of your friends.

I haven't heard you state you making positive sexual moves toward her while she is obviously putting you in the position (no pun intended  :D) to do so.

She is religious and a bit moralistic, thats all good  but, she is still a woman and I imagine full of sexual energy. It is up to you to make those moves. What are you waiting for? Permission slips rarely ever happen. You've been on two trips and you've failed (IMHO) two tests. She's not sleeping in a bed with for the rest. Seems she is a bit on the prudish side but, thats not a bad thing. You haven't done your part. Fess up and tell your friends that you haven't and don't fail your next test

Offline Muzh

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Re: Russian/Ukranian women - views on sex before marriage?
« Reply #26 on: August 10, 2012, 08:28:08 AM »
Joe, listen to the ladies.

Based on what you wrote, I'm siding with your buddies.
To argue with a man who has renounced the use and authority of reason, and whose philosophy consists in holding humanity in contempt, is like administering medicine to the dead. Thomas Paine - The American Crisis 1776-1783

Offline ML

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Re: Russian/Ukranian women - views on sex before marriage?
« Reply #27 on: August 10, 2012, 04:08:50 PM »
. . .   believing in her 30s that penises were all the same size . . . .

I trying to imagine how she came to talk about this, given her background as you presented it.

Can't quite see how it  came about.
A beautiful woman is pleasant to look at, but it is easier to live with a pleasant acting one.

Offline JoeS421

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Re: Russian/Ukranian women - views on sex before marriage?
« Reply #28 on: August 10, 2012, 04:19:41 PM »
Belvis, what you say makes sense. This is very hard to call without knowing the 2 people involved. Also there may be something in her past that prevents her from getting intimate... (rape?). Who knows? I think that they need to communicate about this. 1.5 years is way too long and a good talk is definitely due.

Hi guys,

I will definitely communicate with her about this.  I don't think she has experienced being sexually assaulted or anything like that, otherwise she wouldn't be sharing a hotel room with me in the first place.  But I will have this chat with her...

Offline lakecreek

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Re: Russian/Ukranian women - views on sex before marriage?
« Reply #29 on: August 10, 2012, 05:02:30 PM »
I know someone who had this problem once and it took him a while to find out that she had an STD. She was scared that she was going to give to him. Now I have Europeans and Russians are not into the whole condom thing. At this point you should be going to check in on why she is not having sex with you.

Offline JoeS421

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Re: Russian/Ukranian women - views on sex before marriage?
« Reply #30 on: August 10, 2012, 05:13:20 PM »
Hi everyone,

Thanks for the feedback so far!  Just a few things I thought I would mention:

On my trips to Kiev, we do not sleep in the same room or bed, since she lives with her mother and I get my own place when visiting her city.  We have only slept in the same bed twice in two trips (to Norway and Switzerland).  And we have cuddled in bed a few times before, and she tried sleeping on top of me once, but we couldn't get in a comfortable position so usually now we sleep on our sides of the bed, but sometimes get close and sleep right next to each other during the night.

It seems that the majority of people here are just telling me to grow a pair and make a move!   ;)  I just assumed that she was really religious and prudish until earlier this week when she sent me photos in a bikini for the first time - is she sending me a message to make a move, or seeking to continue a scam?  We'll find out  ;)

However, since I will be visiting her in Kiev, we don't plan to be sleeping in the same bed, so I am thinking of other ways I can bring up this conversation...  Anyway I won't be leaving until the 24th so I'll give it some thought about this.

Thanks,
Joe
« Last Edit: August 10, 2012, 05:43:06 PM by JoeS421 »

Offline I/O

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Re: Russian/Ukranian women - views on sex before marriage?
« Reply #31 on: August 11, 2012, 01:24:15 AM »
Now I have Europeans and Russians are not into the whole condom thing.
110% Bullsch!t.
 
Quote
believing in her 30s that penises were all the same size
They're not? You sayin' my mother lied to me all those years?  :'(
 

Offline Shadow

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Re: Russian/Ukranian women - views on sex before marriage?
« Reply #32 on: August 11, 2012, 04:57:22 AM »
Now I have Europeans and Russians are not into the whole condom thing.
Correct. Most of us just dress it on the appropriate part instead of going in  the whole thing. ;)
No it is not a dog. Its really how I look.  ;)

Offline remiel6

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Re: Russian/Ukranian women - views on sex before marriage?
« Reply #33 on: August 11, 2012, 06:46:35 AM »
upon further discussion with my wife she has concluded that at 26 she thinks there is no way your lady is a virgin so either you need to make a move, or she is liking the nice vacations.

Offline Ranetka

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Re: Russian/Ukranian women - views on sex before marriage?
« Reply #34 on: August 11, 2012, 07:23:20 AM »
upon further discussion with my wife she has concluded that at 26 she thinks there is no way your lady is a virgin so either you need to make a move, or she is liking the nice vacations.


A good friend of mine was a virgin until 36.



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I do resent the fact that most people never question or think for themselves. I don't want to be normal. I just want to find some other people that are odd in the same ways that I am. OP.

Offline Jumper

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Re: Russian/Ukranian women - views on sex before marriage?
« Reply #35 on: August 11, 2012, 09:57:37 AM »
Hi everyone,

Thanks for the feedback so far!  Just a few things I thought I would mention:

On my trips to Kiev, we do not sleep in the same room or bed, since she lives with her mother and I get my own place when visiting her city.  We have only slept in the same bed twice in two trips (to Norway and Switzerland).  And we have cuddled in bed a few times before, and she tried sleeping on top of me once, but we couldn't get in a comfortable position so usually now we sleep on our sides of the bed, but sometimes get close and sleep right next to each other during the night.

It seems that the majority of people here are just telling me to grow a pair and make a move!   ;)  I just assumed that she was really religious and prudish until earlier this week when she sent me photos in a bikini for the first time - is she sending me a message to make a move, or seeking to continue a scam?  We'll find out  ;)

However, since I will be visiting her in Kiev, we don't plan to be sleeping in the same bed, so I am thinking of other ways I can bring up this conversation...  Anyway I won't be leaving until the 24th so I'll give it some thought about this.

Thanks,
Joe


You are asking general questions,but they are  about an individual, so everything is just speculation.
Since generalities are all that can be given, it likely isn't much use for a particularly individual and you need to both talk to her,and read her actions.
(which are always more important than someones words)

Generalities:
1.Women that sleep with you, and on top of you , are not *just friends*.
:popcorn:
I'm not sure what else she should do to initiate sex, besides just going for it!
but those are generally big green lights ,not red or yellow!! lol
and if you then made an advance ,and were declined, you certainly should ask why and expect a straight answer.
If you dint make an advance she was probably hurt and wondering why you arn't attracted to her.

2.Women you have met several times, who are into you, that have already slept in the same bed with, and you are visiting their city and have an apartment(flat) , would generally
be coming to this apartment and spending time with you.including sleeping there.
(at this juncture generally having sex with you , lets be slightly realistic)

Again you are asking for generalities.

Diversion from those generalities ,can mean any number of things..
good ,bad or indifferent.

but without any doubt a women that sleeps on top of you, that doesn't want sex with you is
a pretty  unusual scenario.  :rolleyes:

There could be a thousand explanations, but the 2 main ones that come to mind are:

You just completely missed the boat,and she's wondering what the heck is wrong with you.
 
She has some  reasons for avoiding that level of intimacy with you.
Those reasons could be past history,moral/ethical,simply personal, or some hidden agenda of playing you.

Bottom line is your actions ,,seem to be lack of action..
her actions show some interest..she slept with you and on top of you.


The  odd part is you not making a normal move to get an *answer*
and the fact you seem to think a woman that has slept with you before,  wouldn't want to be with you in your Kyiv flat,for at least that same level of companionship,if not furthering it.


you seem to be approaching visiting her there as something  that might not be at least as intimate as prior trips? why?

Shes probably a decent girl more confused about this, than you are,
or shes having fun playing you a bit.
The real issue is that in either case ,by now it  should be completely obvious to you which it is.
Posters on the forum board sidelines , don't know either of you.


« Last Edit: August 11, 2012, 11:31:17 AM by Jumper »
.

Offline ML

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Re: Russian/Ukranian women - views on sex before marriage?
« Reply #36 on: August 11, 2012, 09:58:14 AM »

A good friend of mine was a virgin until 36.

How many years can the Virgin Mary claim?
A beautiful woman is pleasant to look at, but it is easier to live with a pleasant acting one.

Offline SANDRO43

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Re: Russian/Ukranian women - views on sex before marriage?
« Reply #37 on: August 11, 2012, 10:44:33 AM »
How many years can the Virgin Mary claim?
At least 1,500 years ;D: her "perfect virginity" was officially proclaimed as church dogma during the 2nd Ecumenical Council held at Constantinople in 553 - more if the dogma can be considered to have a retro-active effect :-\ .
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Offline Eduard

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Re: Russian/Ukranian women - views on sex before marriage?
« Reply #38 on: August 11, 2012, 10:46:35 AM »

but without any doubt a women that sleeps on top of you, that doesn't want sex with you is
a pretty  unusual scenario.  :rolleyes:

That depends... was she on her back or on her stomach when she was sleeping on top of him?  :P


I've travelled with a good number of men to meet FSU women and in some cases some of the brightest, most successful men were clueless when it came to women. So they needed some coaching... No biggie. Joe will learn. He is still young and even if things don't work out with this lady there are thousands of others out there.
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Online Faux Pas

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Re: Russian/Ukranian women - views on sex before marriage?
« Reply #39 on: August 11, 2012, 11:37:37 AM »
At least 1,500 years ;D: her "perfect virginity" was officially proclaimed as church dogma during the 2nd Ecumenical Council held at Constantinople in 553 - more if the dogma can be considered to have a retro-active effect :-\ .

There is a belief that Jesus had brothers and sisters. Unless they too were of immaculate conception it was a lot less than that  :D

Offline Jumper

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Re: Russian/Ukranian women - views on sex before marriage?
« Reply #40 on: August 11, 2012, 11:42:43 AM »
That depends... was she on her back or on her stomach when she was sleeping on top of him?  :P


I've travelled with a good number of men to meet FSU women and in some cases some of the brightest, most successful men were clueless when it came to women. So they needed some coaching... No biggie. Joe will learn. He is still young and even if things don't work out with this lady there are thousands of others out there.


Ed,  agreed.
And everyone is at their own pace. Nothing wrong with that..
its just his friends are probably overly paranoid simply because shes a FSU girl,
but they also have a legitimate concerns looking at his overall situation?


I just never can imagine a scenario where a woman slept on top of me, that I dint find out
about  her level of sexual interest, whether I was a teenager, or 36 yo man?
well unless I was in a coma.lol
(which I have been, so that could have happened I suppose? I mean the hot  candy strip'er  was really friendly and slipped me her number when I regained consciousness) :)




.

Offline I/O

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Re: Russian/Ukranian women - views on sex before marriage?
« Reply #41 on: August 11, 2012, 02:34:18 PM »
That depends... was she on her back or on her stomach when she was sleeping on top of him?
Either way, she's keen...........either way. :o

Offline Jumper

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Re: Russian/Ukranian women - views on sex before marriage?
« Reply #42 on: August 11, 2012, 03:04:42 PM »
I/O

well,  I was thinking Ed meant to say it was important whether , Joe was sleeping on his back or stomach.
Otherwise you'd think at least she'd naturally know his level of sexual interest,even if he isn't sure about hers?

;D


 

.

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Re: Russian/Ukranian women - views on sex before marriage?
« Reply #43 on: August 11, 2012, 03:47:50 PM »
I/O

well,  I was thinking Ed meant to say it was important whether , Joe was sleeping on his back or stomach.
Otherwise you'd think at least she'd naturally know his level of sexual interest,even if he isn't sure about hers?

;D
Bravo, Jumper! I didn't think of that one!  :D
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Offline Ludmila

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Re: Russian/Ukranian women - views on sex before marriage?
« Reply #44 on: August 11, 2012, 10:38:05 PM »
OP, as well as other inexperienced younger guys,
Eduard is giving you invaluable information. I couldn't say it better than him. Do listen to Eduard.
But most important thing is that he explained the concept-- like "pre-feminizm man would".
Russia isn't a feministic country, and it demonstrates itself in miriads of things. Behavior in different situations-- in the restaurant, among friends, colleagues, etc. This doesn't mean to say they are shy and obedient like asians are. Still, MAN IS EXPECTED TO BE PRO-ACTIVE IN SEX, RELATIONSHIPS, ACTIONS. Moreover, somebody up the thread said you should kind of repeat your approaches 3 times ( to make sure she agrees, because she may want to play a little bit implying " I am not that easy to be taken. You have to really show you are into me"). A decent RW, unlike an AW, is rarely pro-active, leadng in sex and relationships.
Only, American guys in their 20ies and thirties may have forgotten or don't know how the pre -feministic man acts. Just exactly as Eduard described. May be, watch those old movies.
I am quoting Eduard again :
Most Russian women that I knew liked to be taken, passionately, slightly forcefully, like a traditional pre-feminizm man would.
That said, a number of other reasons that the posters mentioned before are important to bear in mind have to be cleared up  :
scamer; free trips while she thinks you're a stand-by ( she may have another guy) ; STD;  may be she wants to show you she's a prude and doesn't easily have intimacy before marriage.
Does she have a sex appeal? Does she wear slightly provocative clothes?
Have you watched  a film together when characters are in romantic intimate relationship ? What is her reaction to that?
Do you say complements to her as far as her looks ? If yes, does she react in a shy way or looks at you, responds with body movements?
It is impossible to explain everything here. You will learn it yourself. And read all that Eduard advises once again. He is writing about what PRECISELY is expected.
Best to you.

Offline JoeS421

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Re: Russian/Ukranian women - views on sex before marriage?
« Reply #45 on: August 12, 2012, 03:51:50 AM »
Hi Jumper, thanks for the long post.


There could be a thousand explanations, but the 2 main ones that come to mind are:

You just completely missed the boat,and she's wondering what the heck is wrong with you.
 
She has some  reasons for avoiding that level of intimacy with you.
Those reasons could be past history,moral/ethical,simply personal, or some hidden agenda of playing you.

Bottom line is your actions ,,seem to be lack of action..
her actions show some interest..she slept with you and on top of you.

I hope I've haven't missed the boat, otherwise, it seems that her sending me a picture of her in a bikini for the first time recently seems to be a signal.   :)  She comes across as conservative and prudish sometimes, but as many posters have pointed out, that doesn't mean the door is closed.

And we're still in touch and making plans with each other - of course, the possibility is for the free trips, but I'm going to be admanant about this - no more trips on my dime (By that I mean - I'll see her in her city, I'm not paying for her to travel anywhere) until I have this issue resolved.   :crackwhip:

The  odd part is you not making a normal move to get an *answer*
and the fact you seem to think a woman that has slept with you before,  wouldn't want to be with you in your Kyiv flat,for at least that same level of companionship,if not furthering it.

Yes, I may have been too timid.   :wallbash:  However, I the Oslo trip was our first together and I didn't make a move because I wanted to demonstrate to her that I can be trusted, and that I'm not only interested in her for sex...  The Switzerland trip we had a real aggressive schedule and both of us just were extremely tired after traveling around all the time.  Plus, I had a good friend kill his chances with an American woman he really likes by trying too hard to get her into bed too quickly.  He is still beating himself up over it even now.    :cluebat:

you seem to be approaching visiting her there as something  that might not be at least as intimate as prior trips? why?

Well, this time I'll be seeing her in her city and I'll have my own place since she lives with her mom.  But as many people have already pointed out - just invite her up to my place!  Simple.

Shes probably a decent girl more confused about this, than you are,
or shes having fun playing you a bit.
The real issue is that in either case ,by now it  should be completely obvious to you which it is.
Posters on the forum board sidelines , don't know either of you.

Again, thanks for the long post.  This is my first relationship with a FSU woman, so that's why maybe seem to be asking these question.  But thanks to everyone on the board for your responses!

Offline JoeS421

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Re: Russian/Ukranian women - views on sex before marriage?
« Reply #46 on: August 12, 2012, 03:56:17 AM »
That depends... was she on her back or on her stomach when she was sleeping on top of him?  :P

I've travelled with a good number of men to meet FSU women and in some cases some of the brightest, most successful men were clueless when it came to women. So they needed some coaching... No biggie. Joe will learn. He is still young and even if things don't work out with this lady there are thousands of others out there.

Hi Eduard,

I was on my back, and she was on her stomach with her arm around me.   And I had my arm around her as well.

Thanks for the posts, this is being really informative!
« Last Edit: August 12, 2012, 04:17:16 AM by JoeS421 »

Offline JoeS421

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Re: Russian/Ukranian women - views on sex before marriage?
« Reply #47 on: August 12, 2012, 04:13:53 AM »

Ed,  agreed.
And everyone is at their own pace. Nothing wrong with that..
its just his friends are probably overly paranoid simply because shes a FSU girl,
but they also have a legitimate concerns looking at his overall situation?


Well, when I told my friends how we met and where she's from, they were like "Oh, it's a scam", and were admanant about it, despite my attempts to explain that not every single FSU lady is a scammer.   However, there is a concern she might be using me, so that's why I'm going to find out for sure.  If we are going to be romantic partners, and possibly life partners, with everything that entails - then everything is fine.  If not, we are still friends, but no more trips on my dime.  I need to confirm this - but the majority here seem to think that I have a chance, but it's up to me to make the move - and I haven't done so yet.

Offline I/O

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Re: Russian/Ukranian women - views on sex before marriage?
« Reply #48 on: August 12, 2012, 04:16:21 AM »
the majority here seem to think that I have a chance, but it's up to me to make the move - and I haven't done so yet.
That's a pretty fair summary.

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Re: Russian/Ukranian women - views on sex before marriage?
« Reply #49 on: August 12, 2012, 06:38:45 AM »
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