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Author Topic: Russian/Ukranian women - views on sex before marriage?  (Read 53157 times)

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Online Faux Pas

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Re: Russian/Ukranian women - views on sex before marriage?
« Reply #75 on: August 27, 2012, 01:50:06 PM »
Interesting comment - Guys, what do you think?  A text message is too impersonal?

I want to still be friends, but more importantly - show her that just because she does not have romantic feelings for me does not mean the end of the world for me.  I will still talk with her and I can deal with this - I am a bigger person.

My personal experience is, friendship rarely succeeds where romance has failed. Doesn't really matter where the woman is from. That is probably more my fault than theirs and while I have had a few over the years that did turn into a friendship, it was certainly the exception and not the rule.

There is a relatively common consensus on this board and others that with a RW once she is sure no romantic possibilities are in the offing, she'll cut it off post haste with no further communication or further clues. I haven't personally experienced that but, I have read it often here.

Life is short. If it's not going to work out with a woman for whatever reason, why waste any more time or expense in wondering what could'a, should'a would'a? Move on. Don't even waste a text. Many relationships don't work out for millions of reasons and nobody has to be at fault. Somethings are not meant to be. If she wishes she can contact you, and you can deal with it how you see fit. FWIW

Offline Manny

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Re: Russian/Ukranian women - views on sex before marriage?
« Reply #76 on: August 27, 2012, 01:57:52 PM »
I have always observed that if sex doesn't happen on the first visit, it isn't likely to.

While there will always be exceptions, that is a safe general rule of thumb to work with.

After all these visits, she either just isn't that into him, or he isn't experienced enough to read the signs and make it happen when previously invited.

Really, with this woman, if it was going to happen, it would have done so by now. Religion or not. Irrespective of who didn't read whose signs.

I have always maintained that guys should be well experienced with local women before even considering the FSU. Women are women at the end of the day. FSU women are not from Jupiter; they are like most other European women when it comes to sexual attitudes. They want love and affection as any woman from anywhere does.

From what I read above, this woman gave her green light a few times and the OP ignored it. She will imagine him impotent or not attracted to her by now. She will be confused at all these trips and visits but no action. She will wonder what she did wrong or why he doesn't instigate something beyond the odd teenage-style peck on the cheek here and there.

At this late stage its hard to salvage without frank conversation. No innuendoes or suggestions, just simple questions. Perhaps an explanation for his inaction.

Although, based on what I have read, and with the greatest respect to the OP, he isn't ready for FSU women just yet. He should date locally and get more experience with women than he appears to have right now.

FSU women are not a get-out-of-jail-free card for the socially inept or those inexperienced with women. Quite the opposite, in fact.
« Last Edit: August 27, 2012, 02:10:57 PM by Manny »

Offline TheTraveler

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Re: Russian/Ukranian women - views on sex before marriage?
« Reply #77 on: August 27, 2012, 02:02:45 PM »
Exactly right!  Even if she does come crawling back, she needs to really prove herself before I will consider it.  Like other people have pointed out, Ms. Right will not get scared nor freaked out when she thinks I am proposing or even talking about marriage.

i'll offer up another theory...
 
this is a very old-fashioned, inexperienced, and highly-religious girl.
 
and she went up to your hotel room to receive her 'gift', suspecting (perhaps even hopeful) that it was an engagement ring.  and then when you sat her on the bed and told her that you were not proposing marriage, but mentioned living together, her proud side spoke up, and she told you she was 'relieved'.
 
as for equating cautious with living together... seems i read somewhere that chances for divorce go up for couples who live together before marriage.  so proposing living together is really being the opposite of cautious (where marriage is concerned), right?
 
it's possible that this relationship is in a catch-22.  you don't want to ask a girl to marry you unless you've first had sex with her... and she doesn't want to have sex before marriage (or maybe before engagement).  i don't see where the cycle breaks.
 
hey, it's just a possible theory.

Offline TheTraveler

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Re: Russian/Ukranian women - views on sex before marriage?
« Reply #78 on: August 27, 2012, 02:14:04 PM »
Although, based on what I have read, and with the greatest respect to the OP, he isn't ready for FSU women just yet. He should date locally and get more experience with women than he appears to have right now.

manny, i always suggest to (inexperienced?) guys like the OP that they land a few slumpbusters before embarking on this journey!
 

Offline OlgaH

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Re: Russian/Ukranian women - views on sex before marriage?
« Reply #79 on: August 27, 2012, 02:26:49 PM »

i'll offer up another theory...
 
this is a very old-fashioned, inexperienced, and highly-religious girl.
 
and she went up to your hotel room to receive her 'gift', suspecting (perhaps even hopeful) that it was an engagement ring.  and then when you sat her on the bed and told her that you were not proposing marriage, but mentioned living together, her proud side spoke up, and she told you she was 'relieved'.

TheTraveler, what religious you are talking about?  :-\ :D I doubt any very old-fashioned, inexperienced, and highly-religious girl would go to a man's hotel room or his apartment, more over sit on his bed , unless the man is her relative - brother or father). Also a very old-fashioned, inexperienced, and highly-religious girl usually follows the old-fashioned and highly-religious rules of engagement  :)

Offline Manny

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Re: Russian/Ukranian women - views on sex before marriage?
« Reply #80 on: August 27, 2012, 02:29:18 PM »

manny, i always suggest to (inexperienced?) guys like the OP that they land a few slumpbusters before embarking on this journey!


I had to Google that term as I never encountered it, but now I get it, yes, I agree - that would do more good than harm.

Offline I/O

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Re: Russian/Ukranian women - views on sex before marriage?
« Reply #81 on: August 27, 2012, 02:41:22 PM »
if sex doesn't happen on the first visit, it isn't likely to
Agreed. I tended to limit it to the first hour - I'd stretch that to a day in extreme cases.  ;D

Offline Gator

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Re: Russian/Ukranian women - views on sex before marriage?
« Reply #82 on: August 27, 2012, 07:09:18 PM »
She's rushing home (home alone) to see about the dog? She might as well just text earlier in the evening that she had to stay home and wash her hair.

 :ROFL:
 
There is only one good guideline - would you continue to pursue such a woman if she lived in your city?  Hopefully not.  So why do it just because she is a RW?  RW are not that different to lower your threshold.   And IMO the attraction should be stronger than with an AW because of the geographic separation.
 
Why be friends?   Is she "friend" material?   By that I mean is there sufficient intellectual connection between the two of you to warrant a platonic relationship?   Being different or strange does not count, and you have described some behavior that I find strange for RW.   
 
And surely you do not waste your time on such drama and mystery.
 
If you harbor some thought that you might get "some" in the future, forget it.   
« Last Edit: August 27, 2012, 07:12:20 PM by Gator »

Offline Belvis

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Re: Russian/Ukranian women - views on sex before marriage?
« Reply #83 on: August 27, 2012, 11:20:18 PM »
her birthday is in a few weeks - Instead of sending flowers like I did last year, she is just getting a text message from me, and that's it.  I'm moving on, but wanted to share my experiences for the newbies.
Text message instead of  flowers is a sign of resentment. The break can be done in a more fine way: either flowers with Good Bye words (gentleman way) or full ignoring (dramatic way). Just random thoughts  :).

Offline JoeS421

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Re: Russian/Ukranian women - views on sex before marriage?
« Reply #84 on: August 28, 2012, 12:04:47 AM »
I have always observed that if sex doesn't happen on the first visit, it isn't likely to.

Really?  It is common experience for the first time you see her in person to sleep with her?  I admit I'm not the most experienced person in the world, but I have never known a woman to sleep with you on the first meeting in person or the first date unless she was a professional...  In most recent serious relationships, it happened on the second visit, 6th date (UW living in NY), or with a local woman who I was friends first beforehand (slept together on the night we established we would both like to start dating)

From what I read above, this woman gave her green light a few times and the OP ignored it. She will imagine him impotent or not attracted to her by now. She will be confused at all these trips and visits but no action. She will wonder what she did wrong or why he doesn't instigate something beyond the odd teenage-style peck on the cheek here and there.

Well, there were a few yellow lights in there as well.  I tried to kiss her with tongue, but she wouldn't open her mouth, and on our first trip together, I had a little bit of a cold, and she gave me a back rub (with my shirt on).  However, when I went to return the favor, she asked me not to be on top of her and just be on her side...  That's what confused me a bit.

Offline Ade

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Re: Russian/Ukranian women - views on sex before marriage?
« Reply #85 on: August 28, 2012, 12:19:35 AM »
Really?  It is common experience for the first time you see her in person to sleep with her?  I admit I'm not the most experienced person in the world, but I have never known a woman to sleep with you on the first meeting in person or the first date unless she was a professional... 


Yes, but he's not talking about the first date. He's talking about the first visit which will, generally, be longer than a day and will therefore span multiple dates for extended periods.


I tend to agree with Manny on just about everything he said.

Offline Muzh

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Re: Russian/Ukranian women - views on sex before marriage?
« Reply #86 on: August 28, 2012, 06:42:01 AM »
Exactly right!  Even if she does come crawling back, she needs to really prove herself before I will consider it.  Like other people have pointed out, Ms. Right will not get scared nor freaked out when she thinks I am proposing or even talking about marriage.

Joe, let's get something straight.

She will never come crawling back. None of these ladies will.

Hope that helps.
To argue with a man who has renounced the use and authority of reason, and whose philosophy consists in holding humanity in contempt, is like administering medicine to the dead. Thomas Paine - The American Crisis 1776-1783

Offline GoodOlBoy

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Re: Russian/Ukranian women - views on sex before marriage?
« Reply #87 on: August 28, 2012, 06:49:14 AM »
Joe, I asked my wife last night to review your thread.
At first glance she said several "au hospity's (sp)" followed by the typical RW eye rolling.  :rolleyes:
 
After she finished your painful thread, I asked her to post her thoughts here on RWD, but she declined.
 
So I will try to summarize her statements for you:
 
First words out of her mouth (no kidding): "Tell man to forget about RW. Find fat AW and have lots of sex".
 
Sorry about this next one dude, but she (like most RW) is very blunt.
 
She said you missed to many of your dates "sex signals".
She was wondering if there is something wrong with you (sexually)?
 
She also agreed with Manny's statement:
 
I have always observed that if sex doesn't happen on the first visit, it isn't likely to.

 
With a sly smile on her face she said to me, "Remember our first meeting in Greece Rick"?  >:D
 
As far as the topic of religion goes, she actually became agitated and said: "Man (Traveler) knows nothing about Russia!!" "We don't have this stupid "highly religious" there that he talks about!!"
 
I know what she is referring to, because she has been here in the GoodOl' USA for more than 7 years and has been to my Episcopal church many times on Sunday's.
 
She associates our churches here in the GoodOl' USA with a lot of built in guilt and punishment for those who practice smoking, premarital sex, drinking  :rolleyes: and just about everything else enjoyable in life.  ;D
 
GOB
 
BTW.... My wife is now a civil servant and has worked here for more than 6 years. She is very familiar with the American way of thinking and their "lingo". One thing that she despises about the American work force is the number of squealer's (rat's) that we have here.  :rolleyes:
« Last Edit: August 28, 2012, 07:06:09 AM by GoodOlBoy »
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Offline Gator

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Re: Russian/Ukranian women - views on sex before marriage?
« Reply #88 on: August 28, 2012, 06:53:39 AM »

So I will try to summarize her statements:
 
First words out of her mouth (no kidding): "Tell man to forget about RW. Find fat AW and have lots of sex".
 
Sorry about this next one dude, but she (like most RW) is very blunt.
 
She said you missed to many of your dates "sex signals".
She was wondering if there is something wrong with you (sexually)?

 


 :D :D :D :D
Yes, straight and direct as expected from a RW.
« Last Edit: August 28, 2012, 07:02:45 AM by Gator »

Offline Gator

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Re: Russian/Ukranian women - views on sex before marriage?
« Reply #89 on: August 28, 2012, 07:01:44 AM »
It is common experience for the first time you see her in person to sleep with her?

Joe, you are not hopeless, yet it is clear that you need more experience. 
 
If you are still interested in RW, you should know a few things.  A three-date rule is often discussed among men looking for a serious relationship with RW.  My experience is that RW are no different than AW, just younger  ;) .   
 
The two of you are adults with hormones and feelings, so if things fall in place and you make her feel comfortable, it could happen soon, real soon.
 
OTOH even if she likes you but just feels lousy, or your apartment does not make her feel comfortable, or she knows you are on a VM trip, sex will probably not happen.   

Offline Hammer2722

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Re: Russian/Ukranian women - views on sex before marriage?
« Reply #90 on: August 28, 2012, 07:08:56 AM »
I think it all comes down to the fact that Joe needs to do some serious reading here on RWD. Joe, I recommend you read as many TR's and topics about FSU women here that you can. Educate yourself before you plan a next trip and I think you can be successful. Good luck.
every ship can be a minesweeper at least once...

Offline Shadow

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Re: Russian/Ukranian women - views on sex before marriage?
« Reply #91 on: August 28, 2012, 07:47:43 AM »
  However, when I went to return the favor, she asked me not to be on top of her and just be on her side...  That's what confused me a bit.
Perhaps a weight difference would explain that one?
No it is not a dog. Its really how I look.  ;)

Offline GoodOlBoy

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Re: Russian/Ukranian women - views on sex before marriage?
« Reply #92 on: August 28, 2012, 07:51:53 AM »
She said you missed to many of your dates "sex signals".
She was wondering if there is something wrong with you (sexually)?

Joe, my wife made these statements (not to be malicious) because of your opening post:
 
We sleep in the same bed, kissing each other goodnight and she plays with my hair in the morning, and she gives me a back rub since my allergies are bothering me at the time. However, we do not have sex, I do not make a move and although she sleeps in her lingerie and takes her bra off for comfort reasons,.....

And to prove my point about Marina's American lingo prowess.....
 
She is very familiar with the American way of thinking and their "lingo".

She stated:
 
"30 yo man should have "boner" with naked RW in same bed and use it for 5 hours!"  >:D
 
GOB
 
« Last Edit: August 28, 2012, 07:56:28 AM by GoodOlBoy »
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Offline Misha

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Re: Russian/Ukranian women - views on sex before marriage?
« Reply #93 on: August 28, 2012, 08:09:35 AM »
However, we do not have sex, I do not make a move and although she sleeps in her lingerie and takes her bra off for comfort reasons, she sleeps face down and wraps a towel around her whenever she goes out of bed so she doesn't show me anything.


For the life of me, I do not understand why you did not make your move  :o  Besides, people have a tendency to turn around in their sleep  >:D  Nonetheless, if a RW is attracted to a man, she will occasionally be the one making the move if she wants him and is not moving along fast enough  :-X
« Last Edit: August 28, 2012, 08:15:21 AM by Misha »

Offline Aloe

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Re: Russian/Ukranian women - views on sex before marriage?
« Reply #94 on: August 28, 2012, 08:10:07 AM »

Quote
We sleep in the same bed, kissing each other goodnight and she plays with my hair in the morning, and she gives me a back rub since my allergies are bothering me at the time. However, we do not have sex, I do not make a move and although she sleeps in her lingerie and takes her bra off for comfort reasons,.....
What?! What kind of castrated behavior is that? If a woman did not wanna have sex with you, she wouldn't sleep in the same bed with you. She is there, almost throwing herself onto you, and you don't make a move? I mean, she went in your bed, she has nothing on save for panties, how much more obvious does she need to act? I met a guy like that. Actually twice. Both time lost a little respect for them. I mean come the fluff on, i am here, in your bed, almost naked, and you don't make a move? WTH is wrong with you? No really, WTH?? What else is she supposed to do to get more obvious??
Lol

Offline Misha

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Re: Russian/Ukranian women - views on sex before marriage?
« Reply #95 on: August 28, 2012, 08:16:28 AM »
 :offtopic:


Aloe, nice to see you posting.


Now, back to your regular scheduled programming  :)


 :offtopic:

Offline Aloe

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Re: Russian/Ukranian women - views on sex before marriage?
« Reply #96 on: August 28, 2012, 08:17:51 AM »
If a woman wants you to respect her religion and attitude of no sex before marriage and whatnot, she just won't get into your bed. That's it. IF she is in your bed in her panties, that is pretty much her throwing herself onto you. Your not acting on it, is shameful and might even make her wonder if you even find her attractive at all. That is a totally bizarre behavior on your part, a local man would have made 3000 moves by then. I bet she finds you weird and a bit unmanly because of this. Definitely funny and amusing.



Offline Aloe

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Re: Russian/Ukranian women - views on sex before marriage?
« Reply #97 on: August 28, 2012, 08:23:17 AM »
:offtopic:


Aloe, nice to see you posting.


Now, back to your regular scheduled programming  :)


 :offtopic:
Lol thanks. I just can't believe what i'm reading, why the hell would he not make a move??
The 2 guys i mentioned were also foreigners btw. No FSU man would ever behave this way. Must be the result of years of emancipation. But a very weird bizarre unmanly beaten into the corner scared trembling with tail between his legs kind of result. I mean, how much more obvious can she possibly get??

Offline Aloe

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Re: Russian/Ukranian women - views on sex before marriage?
« Reply #98 on: August 28, 2012, 08:27:01 AM »
That being said, i do not condone FSU men behavior of making their moves at any possible moment however inappropriate it may be, day and night, in all kinds of unexpected situations and then not taking no for an answer and persisting and annoying you as hell.
But not making a move when she's in your bed in her panties is the exact opposite end. Somewhere in the golden middle would be nice.

Offline Misha

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Re: Russian/Ukranian women - views on sex before marriage?
« Reply #99 on: August 28, 2012, 08:27:47 AM »
IF she is in your bed in her panties, that is pretty much her throwing herself onto you.


I agree with you. Under the same circumstances, I must confess, that I would have tried and tried and if by morning there was no sex, I would have been looking for someone else  :-X

 

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