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Author Topic: Re: She wants me to guarantee her security in the US before she comes...  (Read 34458 times)

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Offline Gator

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i'll let her speak for herself, but my take on fashionista's thought was that if a guy has to ask if she's the girlfriend... or just the girlfriend experience, then the guy deep down probably already knows the answer.

Not always.  I actually like to learn from others and appreciate and respect their opinion.   Sometimes I NEED a 'reality' check.

Paulie, at this stage you should have no doubts.  Practically every moment with her should be a joy.  If you are harboring some nagging ambiguity, it is your subconscious saying "something ain't right."  If so, don't marry with the hope of it getting better.
 
I recall playing golf with a jaded divorce attorney many years ago at a resort.  As we played one scenic hole, a wedding was taking place at an idyllic spot nearby.  He stopped and intensely studied each person in the wedding party, muttering "Where is she."    I asked, "What are you talking about?"  "I am looking for the little old lady who slips every bride a pill that turns them into a bitch.   Where is the little old lady?  She is there somewhere."   ;)

If you eventually marry, the first year of her adjustment could be stressful, especially if her business does not progress as planned.   IMO, RW deal with stress by transferring it to the man.    Her problems will be your fault.  And you have a heart condition!   
 
Having said this, your plans for a two-month visit seem reasonable.  Enjoy the time together.  It will be a lot of fun.  Do not forget that you will have some work to do.
« Last Edit: March 12, 2013, 09:59:05 AM by Gator »

Offline calmissile

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Still believing in that "pleasant personality" fantasy, calmissile?

Absolutely!  Tulip seems to have pegged the situation right on target.
Doug (Calmissile)

Offline Boethius

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It was a rhetorical question.  Nevertheless, I disagree.  She bites just as "hard" as any other woman here.
« Last Edit: March 12, 2013, 10:09:26 AM by Boethius »
After the fall of communism, the biggest mistake Boris Yeltsin's regime made was not to disband the KGB altogether. Instead it changed its name to the FSB and, to many observers, morphed into a gangster organisation, eventually headed by master criminal Vladimir Putin. - Gerard Batten

Offline calmissile

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Because all the assets accumulated in the course of marriage belong to both spouses and should be divided 50/50

We are in agreement!

I think you misinterpreted Pats comment.  I believe he was referring to property accumulated prior to a marriage.

Doug (Calmissile)

Offline calmissile

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Man:  Honey would you still love me if I lost all my money?

Woman:  Yes, of course.  And I would miss you also.


 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Doug (Calmissile)

Offline Muzh

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This whole thing reeks of evil to the very core.

If modern marriage has been reduced to this petty thought process of " what do I get out of it ? "
and Divorce has the effect of resolving the agreement of " I did not get what I thought I would , or what I wanted "
Then a pre nump is the equal of admitting you don't know the person well enough to become married to them, and more over , you don't trust them with your "stuff", and that "stuff " is more important to protect than anything else.
This whole mindset of the mass acquisition of money or material things is just a face painted another color over greed and envy.
It's just stuff.
It's only money.

Modern Marriages that need these long agreements and disclaimers seem to not be about happiness and love, but about something very far from those ideals.

IMO

In essence "I got mine, fcuk you."

Yea, sounds like that.
To argue with a man who has renounced the use and authority of reason, and whose philosophy consists in holding humanity in contempt, is like administering medicine to the dead. Thomas Paine - The American Crisis 1776-1783

Offline Muzh

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It is not divorce laws, it is court and judge who are not considered as fair for some who have assets or business. The question is why so many guys want today to make prenupt? Because the law (the judges) don't protect them.

Bzzzz Wrong!!

I have a male friend who is very loud, profane, and short-tempered. Still, he is a good friend.

He dated many gorgeous babes and finally married. The woman came from high society and very proper. I always scratched my head about that one. They had a child.

Eventually the waters came to be leveled and they started having problems. The inevitable happened and they filed for divorce.

I remember advising him to be smart because his business was on the line.

Yea, right.

No one was going to tell him he was wrong, it was his business, he built it from the ground up, yadda, yadda, yadda.

You guessed it. He was spanked in court. Not because the judge was against men, but because he was a royal idiot.

Eventually, he lost his business and filed for bankruptcy.

You should hear him basically saying the same above. Judges hate men, women will screw you in court, bla, bla, bla.

These are the cases you hear about.

Those guys who lost nothing in court? No one believes them. I should know.
To argue with a man who has renounced the use and authority of reason, and whose philosophy consists in holding humanity in contempt, is like administering medicine to the dead. Thomas Paine - The American Crisis 1776-1783

Offline Muzh

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Those in disfavor of prenups seem to be taking a simple view.   If  family law were that simple, real estate attorneys would handle divorces.
 
Is there anyone who marries without trusting the other person?  I think not.  Yet, 50% of marriages end in divorce.  Why?  Easy answer - things change.  That is reason enough for a prenup.
 


LMFAO

You think a man who imported a young, hot babe for marriage and tells her she has to sign a prenup has a lot of trust in her?

Where is it? Where is it?

Ah, here it is.

 :ROFL:

To argue with a man who has renounced the use and authority of reason, and whose philosophy consists in holding humanity in contempt, is like administering medicine to the dead. Thomas Paine - The American Crisis 1776-1783

Offline Muzh

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Would you go 49/51 if I throw in the dog and our sex tapes also?

Sex tapes with the dog?

 :puke:
To argue with a man who has renounced the use and authority of reason, and whose philosophy consists in holding humanity in contempt, is like administering medicine to the dead. Thomas Paine - The American Crisis 1776-1783

Offline Muzh

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It was a rhetorical question.  Nevertheless, I disagree.  She bites just as "hard" as any other woman here.

Rewind => Play => Repeat  :clapping:


I could not contain myself. My jaw dropped and I wanted to laugh but I'm at my desk so I had to muffle my laughter.

Tulip, your husband is a very lucky man.
To argue with a man who has renounced the use and authority of reason, and whose philosophy consists in holding humanity in contempt, is like administering medicine to the dead. Thomas Paine - The American Crisis 1776-1783

Offline Daveman

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I can't understand why there is so much poison and spite in your words. The only one reason, I believe, is that you are not happy. Your lot ( destiny ) - to be dumb ( wordless ) in your family as you seem to be "nothing" there, like "zero" for your husband and you are off your husband's mind and his attention. You seem not to have got what had been expected by you. And you have neither love from your "best-half", nor even simple things, I believe. The only thing you can be pleased with and can allow yourself is to spread all your poison and negative emotions on other persons here, believing that no feelings exist and there is only a will of benefits. I am sure if some day your husband loses his money ( his job etc ) you will disappear out of his life and go for looking for "someone next", who is able to give you more. I have never been saying what others want to hear. I got used to saying what I think about. As for a drum and a flag.. I could advise you to put it into a place, that had been advised by Melanie Griffith in "Working Girl" but I won't do it. Just take that flag and that drum and lead the column of such unhappy and willing-a-lot-but-getting-nothing persons like you  :welcome:


Heya Tulip,
Keep in mind that posts aimed at another member's marriage is out of bounds here.


As for the attitude.
I see nothing wrong with a positive attitude about romance and love.  Wish more people had such.







The duty of a true patriot is to protect his country from its government. -- Thomas Paine

Offline Gator

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LMFAO

You think a man who imported a young, hot babe for marriage and tells her she has to sign a prenup has a lot of trust in her?

Where is it? Where is it?

Ah, here it is.

 :ROFL:

Unlike your normal self, this one goes over your head. 
 
Lets add it up:
 
Marriage will cost:  visa expenses, relocation expenses, adjustment expenses,  prenup preparation (not to mention shoes, dental, cosmetics, insurance, fender repairs, some of his favorite things being tossed, new mattress and bedding, .........  ;) ).
 
Divorce will cost:  legal fees plus whatever the prenup stipulates to be paid, which to be fair will not be small.
 
Not little money.   Girlfriends are far less expensive than a wife.   Kept women are less expensive.  Do you understand why ML is not married after a hundred trips to the FSU?
 
Facing these costs, why would a man enter a marriage expecting it to fail? I assert the man who marries has trust.    Call him mentally impaired because of  cranial-phallic blood shunting, yet for sure he is a believer in the institution of marriage, family etc.

Offline Gator

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It was a rhetorical question.  Nevertheless, I disagree.  She bites just as "hard" as any other woman here.

She delivers her bite with some diplomacy if not class.   
 

Offline calmissile

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Rewind => Play => Repeat  :clapping:


I could not contain myself. My jaw dropped and I wanted to laugh but I'm at my desk so I had to muffle my laughter.

Tulip, your husband is a very lucky man.

+100

Doug (Calmissile)

Offline Gator

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Tulip  :welcome: You have a refreshing style of expression.
 
Regarding Doll, I have read her posts over the years.  I believe she has an enduring, loving marriage. 
 
Some RW are more pragmatic and others are more romantic.  We are all different, and that is what makes RWD valuable -  sincere advice from varied perspectives.

Offline calmissile

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Here is something to ponder for fun!

What if the situation was reversed.......
The wife wants the husband to immigrate to the FSU because she does not want to immigrate.
Assuming the roles were reversed....
The poor guy will have to further his education to get a job and that will take time.
He is leaving all his friends and relatives behind which he loves dearly.
What happens when the quick tempered FSU wife throws him out of the house without a penny?
How will he survive?
He might even have to start a forum for whining men that were abused by their wives and left destitute.

Should he make the same demands for security in advance such as some women are suggesting?

Sorry, just a twisted moment today.
Doug (Calmissile)

Offline pitbull

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Here is something to ponder for fun!

What if the situation was reversed.......
The wife wants the husband to immigrate to the FSU because she does not want to immigrate.
Assuming the roles were reversed....
The poor guy will have to further his education to get a job and that will take time.
He is leaving all his friends and relatives behind which he loves dearly.
What happens when the quick tempered FSU wife throws him out of the house without a penny?
How will he survive?
He might even have to start a forum for whining men that were abused by their wives and left destitute.

Should he make the same demands for security in advance such as some women are suggesting?

Sorry, just a twisted moment today.
He will go back to his country of cause!
Be the person that your dog thinks you are

Offline Doll

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I can't understand why there is so much poison and spite in your words. The only one reason, I believe, is that you are not happy. Your lot ( destiny ) - to be dumb ( wordless ) in your family as you seem to be "nothing" there, like "zero" for your husband and you are off your husband's mind and his attention. You seem not to have got what had been expected by you. And you have neither love from your "best-half", nor even simple things, I believe. The only thing you can be pleased with and can allow yourself is to spread all your poison and negative emotions on other persons here, believing that no feelings exist and there is only a will of benefits. I am sure if some day your husband loses his money ( his job etc ) you will disappear out of his life and go for looking for "someone next", who is able to give you more. I have never been saying what others want to hear. I got used to saying what I think about. As for a drum and a flag.. I could advise you to put it into a place, that had been advised by Melanie Griffith in "Working Girl" but I won't do it. Just take that flag and that drum and lead the column of such unhappy and willing-a-lot-but-getting-nothing persons like you  :welcome:
Girl, what is quoted in this post is a PERSONAL attack. You know nothing about me or my family, yet you "assume" all these things.
Absolutely in the "best traditions" of FSU. :D
See? It didn't take you long to really reveal your "plesant personality".
Sure, there is NO spice and poison in what you wrote to the person you know nothing about.
 :clapping:
 
« Last Edit: March 12, 2013, 03:19:39 PM by Doll »

Offline Patagonie

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Bzzzz Wrong!!

I have a male friend who is very loud, profane, and short-tempered. Still, he is a good friend.

He dated many gorgeous babes and finally married. The woman came from high society and very proper. I always scratched my head about that one. They had a child.

Eventually the waters came to be leveled and they started having problems. The inevitable happened and they filed for divorce.

I remember advising him to be smart because his business was on the line.

Yea, right.

No one was going to tell him he was wrong, it was his business, he built it from the ground up, yadda, yadda, yadda.

You guessed it. He was spanked in court. Not because the judge was against men, but because he was a royal idiot.

Eventually, he lost his business and filed for bankruptcy.

You should hear him basically saying the same above. Judges hate men, women will screw you in court, bla, bla, bla.

These are the cases you hear about.

Those guys who lost nothing in court? No one believes them. I should know.
I never said that a guy should loose nothing. 
But obsiouvly this one was enough stupid to not sign a prenup to protect his business at least.
So yes the court didn't protect him because the common mariage didn't not exclude business and so the court.
He should have sign a prenup like Gator has explained previously.
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Offline Boethius

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Here is something to ponder for fun!

What if the situation was reversed.......
The wife wants the husband to immigrate to the FSU because she does not want to immigrate.
Assuming the roles were reversed....
The poor guy will have to further his education to get a job and that will take time.
He is leaving all his friends and relatives behind which he loves dearly.
What happens when the quick tempered FSU wife throws him out of the house without a penny?
How will he survive?
He might even have to start a forum for whining men that were abused by their wives and left destitute.

Should he make the same demands for security in advance such as some women are suggesting?

Sorry, just a twisted moment today.


Isn't the rationale for the choice of FSUW as mates because they allegedly have not been "contaminated" by the "feminazi" ideas WW allegedly hold dear?  Don't MOB sites, and certain males on this very forum, espouse the "femininity" and "traditional values" WW allegedly eschew?  So, if you are seeking a woman from a "traditional" culture, that means accepting her "traditional" values, i.e., men are the family's providers and are expected to go out and earn a living no matter what the consequences, and to support their women no matter what.


If you want alimony, marry a WW.
« Last Edit: March 12, 2013, 05:02:27 PM by Boethius »
After the fall of communism, the biggest mistake Boris Yeltsin's regime made was not to disband the KGB altogether. Instead it changed its name to the FSB and, to many observers, morphed into a gangster organisation, eventually headed by master criminal Vladimir Putin. - Gerard Batten

Offline BillyB

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Then a pre nump is the equal of admitting you don't know the person well enough to become married to them,



I wouldn't say that. Anyone who says they know someone 100% before marriage is lying or naive. If you don't know the person 100%, you can't trust them 100%. I don't need to trust a woman 100% to enter into marriage with her. I'm into reality and the reality is everyone is flawed.


I know people who knew their kids all their lives and when they died, their kids fought over the inheritence. In one case the family business was dissolved and hundreds of thousands of dollars went to attorney fees and the siblings were worse off financially and emotionally in the end. If the father that died relied on a document called a will instead of trusting the kids will do the right thing, everyone would be better off. The father was a fool.


A prenup is another document that can ease the pain of two people divorcing and keep the attorneys from making an expensive fight. Nobody should sign a prenup they don't agree to, feel comfortable with, and/or is not fair. They should sign only when they feel happy that it's fair. If they don't like it or lose trust in their partner, they should not get married.


 Why is it the person that presents the prenup the bad guy? It takes two to come to an agreement. Have any of you ever agreed to something and later didn't like the results and then blamed the other party? If so, who's the dummy? The guy who crafted the terms or the guy who agrees to it?
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Offline jone

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Isn't the rationale for the choice of FSUW as mates because they allegedly have not been "contaminated" by the "feminazi" ideas WW allegedly hold dear?  Don't MOB sites, and certain males on this very forum, espouse the "femininity" and "traditional values" WW allegedly eschew?  So, if you are seeking a woman from a "traditional" culture, that means accepting her "traditional" values, i.e., men are the family's providers and are expected to go out and earn a living no matter what the consequences, and to support their women no matter what.


If you want alimony, marry a WW.

Get back in the kitchen, woman.  Who gave you a say?
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Offline noelscot

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Get back in the kitchen, woman.  Who gave you a say?


Prenuptial agreements are for rich crackers with something to lose. It's how you keep an Irrawaddy cobra from taking half of everything you own, I hear. Apparently, the FSU is not too cold of a clime for them.
“The sewage is up to our necks already — whatever you do, don’t make waves.”-Michael Haneke

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A prenup is another document that can ease the pain of two people divorcing and keep the attorneys from making an expensive fight. Nobody should sign a prenup they don't agree to, feel comfortable with, and/or is not fair. They should sign only when they feel happy that it's fair. If they don't like it or lose trust in their partner, they should not get married.



The problem with a prenup IMHO, is it provides and establishes an "out". Marriage is suppose to be for a lifetime. If you can see that going in, it isn't going to be a lifetime, again IMHO, it's much better to not get in it. Marriage can and does require real sacrifice that goes well beyond money and possessions. A prenup is as tempting to both parties that agreed to it to check it's worth and exit the marriage when the waters get rough.

Offline LiveFromUkraine

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The problem with a prenup IMHO, is it provides and establishes an "out". Marriage is suppose to be for a lifetime. If you can see that going in, it isn't going to be a lifetime, again IMHO, it's much better to not get in it. Marriage can and does require real sacrifice that goes well beyond money and possessions. A prenup is as tempting to both parties that agreed to it to check it's worth and exit the marriage when the waters get rough.


Yet most guys on this forum are on their second or third marriages. 

 

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