Trench's Questions and Philosophies

[pitbull]

"You cannot tell others what they should and should not think or if they should or should not judge someone. And you are not a Copernicus by any stretch of imagination!"


I'm guessing that you don't see the irony in your statement, or even know what that means...

I am guessing you are just siding with a fellow impaired human

[pitbull]

“I never posted Trench is not allowed to have an opinion.”

you’re saying his opinion is not legitimate and labeling him is the same thing
he has exactly the same right to express his views here as you or питбуль
and your judgments are not infallible and are based on your own biases

it would be like me saying, “damn I LOVE cheeseburgers, there’s nothing better than a nice juicy quarter pounder with cheese”, and a vegetarian saying, “doncha know meat is destroying the planet you uncaring jerk”

so Trench is the meat eater and you’re the vegetarian
all this is subjective, and that’s my point
if it’s subjective it’s just one opinion against another
and there’s NO such thing as a CORRECT opinion

so you consider Trench to be “the jerk” here
and honestly I don’t think he is

Sure thing preferences in food are subjective. Being an emotionally and socially impaired individual is objective, and only someone similarly impaired cannot see it

[krimster2]

“He has repeatedly proven he is a complete and utter f..wit  .”

calling someone names proves something about YOU as well Jay
what’s proven is YOUR lack of tolerance to others
 
some human experience is transcendent, I’ve about finished a book called “The New Man” by Henry Clay Bruce.  an extremely erudite and insightful book written almost 150 yr ago by a black man who spent half his life as a slave in the south, but when freed headed north and received a University education, his amazing book explains all the social factors that makes up race relations in the south, everything that goes on TODAY AT THIS VERY MOMENT JAY can be traced back to his observations nearly 150 years ago, an amazing book available on project gutenberg!

so depending on who is doing the observation, their findings can be timeless
as I’ve said, I just returned, and everything I wrote a year ago is just as true today
nothing would have to be altered based on what I saw

so rather then defend my view as being current, I would say your view about who was last there
and whoever was last there has the correct information, and the person who was there before that doesn’t have the correct information, is just rubbish Jay!

why continue with this, but I’m sure you will...

[krimster2]

"Being an emotionally and socially impaired individual is objective, and only someone similarly impaired cannot see it"

again with the ironic statements!!
you are ALMOST speaking the truth now!!!!
you just have to make one little change for your statement to be true!!!

Being an emotionally and socially impaired individual is SUBJECTIVE, and only someone similarly impaired cannot see it"

there, and this is my point

[krimster2]

“I am guessing you are just siding with a fellow impaired human”

for once, you are at least PARTIALLY correct!
this is an improvement, here’s a cookie!  good girl!

I would say “I am just siding with a fellow human”

and if that makes me a sinner in YOUR world
then I am glad I don’t live in your world

[BdHvA]

Most here have tried to help Trenchcoat, he seems incapable of listening to advice or accepting suggestions.

Regarding Copernicus, I am reminded of the father and mother bird watch there turtle climb a tree limb yet again.

He launches himself only to fall to the ground.

The mother bird sighs and says to her husband 'perhaps we should tell our son he was adopted.'

[krimster2]

"Most here have tried to help Trenchcoat, he seems incapable of listening to advice or accepting suggestions."

have you ever raised Children?
it changes your perspective and invokes patience with others
this is where I'm coming from
patience and understanding
and this is a better plateau to be on
then disapproving comments or judgments.

it's not that I can't find fault in Trench, I can...
but fault lies not JUST in Trench but in ALL of us...
so why pick on just one person
and frankly I don't like the way everyone gangs up on him
you act like a pack of wolves
disappointed... hope everyone thinks about what I'm saying

[ML]

Most here have tried to help Trenchcoat, he seems incapable of listening to advice or accepting suggestions.

Regarding Copernicus, I am reminded of the father and mother bird watch there turtle climb a tree limb yet again.

He launches himself only to fall to the ground.

The mother bird sighs and says to her husband 'perhaps we should tell our son he was adopted.'

What does 'there turtle' mean?

[John Gaunt]

Hey, Trench. I’m on my way to Kyiv. You could have come along and shown me your pick up moves.
I could have reported back here in real time. 

[Boethius]

you’re saying his opinion is not legitimate and labeling him is the same thing

No, I'm saying that his attitude will lead to inevitable failure. 

I have no issue calling a spade a spade, and Trenchcoat certainly is a misogynist.

he has exactly the same right to express his views here as you or питбуль
and your judgments are not infallible and are based on your own biases

No doubt.  However, I have been around long enough to understand that actions have consequences, and his actions will lead to inevitable consequences.

it would be like me saying, “damn I LOVE cheeseburgers, there’s nothing better than a nice juicy quarter pounder with cheese”, and a vegetarian saying, “doncha know meat is destroying the planet you uncaring jerk"

so Trench is the meat eater and you’re the vegetarian
all this is subjective, and that’s my point
if it’s subjective it’s just one opinion against another
and there’s NO such thing as a CORRECT opinion/quote] [[[[

No, it would be more like Hitler saying "Jews must be eradicated." and me responding "You must change your views on Jews."  It would be almost impossible.  Such views are so deeply ingrained, they are exceptionally difficult to change.

so you consider Trench to be “the jerk” here
and honestly I don’t think he is

No, I think that he is a damaged person.  He could seek therapy to go back to what caused that damage and try to reverse it.

All of us are damaged by life, but most of us are not in a way that will inflict emotional pain on others.  I don't believe that would be intentional on his part, but it would be the result with 99.99% of women. 

I think if he is absolutely honest, and either lists his expectations in his profile, or tells them to each woman early, first or second meeting, ("I am seeking marriage.  I intend to have children almost immediately so that you are tied to me.  I don't make enough money to support a family comfortably, so you will have to work to buy your own clothes and toiletries, and have a little spending money.  This job should be menial, so it doesn't interfere with what I desire.  I will not support you or fund you if you intend to seek higher education.  I will expect you always to do all the cooking and cleaning during our entire marriage.  I will expect you to wear short skirts to ensure I am always turned on."), then at least he will have been upfront, and given a woman who does not agree with those expectations a chance to not waste her time. 

[BdHvA]

"Most here have tried to help Trenchcoat, he seems incapable of listening to advice or accepting suggestions."

have you ever raised Children?
it changes your perspective and invokes patience with others

Yes, I have four children, Sometimes I was the only parent present.

Last week I was at the wedding of one on the West Coast. Both ex-wifes were present, My daughter who just married is director in a specialist design company. My son is lead IT person in a travel agency with over 40 employees. My other daughter is University in England and has a political and language major.

Yes I have raised children, if any showed the 'qualities' of Trenchcoat I would take hem behind the proverbial woodshed.

The issue and something both you and some others refuse to acknowledge is the emoltional and mental flaws of TrenchCoat. This person is so deeply flawed that he could not keep a pet alive. ANY woman who decides on an relationship with him is a poster child for an abuse victim.

Trenchcoat exhibits at least on the forum ZERO empathy and little social skills. HE IS DOOMED!

Please Krimester return to functional normal

[krimster2]

“No, I'm saying that his attitude will lead to inevitable failure. “

honestly I don’t think ANYTHING is “inevitable”
life is way too complicated for that
frankly I’ve seen a LOT of REALLY GOOD people fail
and I’ve seen people like Trump succeed beyond their wildest imagination...
success is not based on being good or bad
a lot of times success is nothing more than luck
or having the guts to just go and try

“No, I think that he is a damaged person.”

underneath, I think so as well but maybe differently than you
I did kind of explore this a little...
maybe why a part of me wants to protect him from his attackers
I think I see something you and others don’t and that’s all I want to say about that

“No, it would be more like Hitler saying "Jews must be eradicated." and me responding "You must change your views on Jews."

it’s one thing to have a negative view about Jews, another to want to eradicate them
I think you’re stretching your analogy here by including eradication

bottom line his beliefs and opinions aren’t compatible with yours, so he’s “bad”
this is what I see,  please leave Jews, Nazis, etc out of the story....

“All of us are damaged by life, but most of us are not in a way that will inflict emotional pain on others.

people change, after almost 19 yr of marriage and two children
I am a completely different person than I was before I was married
all relationships are a struggle with emotional pain
you never had emotional pain from your spouse or children?
if so, you are the luckiest person on the planet

if Trench can go find someone, I say good for him
and MAYBE it will be good for his partner as well
let them have their chance, and see if they can make it work
doesn’t every single human being deserve to have this chance?

[krimster2]

wow BdHvA  4 grown kids!  today I find myself envying you after having a big argument with my oldest over her behavior, sigh

[Boethius]

honestly I don’t think ANYTHING is “inevitable”
life is way too complicated for that
frankly I’ve seen a LOT of REALLY GOOD people fail
and I’ve seen people like Trump succeed beyond their wildest imagination...
success is not based on being good or bad
a lot of times success is nothing more than luck
or having the guts to just go and try

Nature, and life, has rules.  What you see is an outward success.

I am not referring to financial, or worldly success.  I am referring to success in a relationship.  You can't have true intimacy with your partner if you believe you are rescuing her, or doing her a favour by importing her.

Every man here who has railed against "evil feminists" has failed in his marriage to an FSUW. 

it’s one thing to have a negative view about Jews, another to want to eradicate them
I think you’re stretching your analogy here by including eradication

bottom line his beliefs and opinions aren’t compatible with yours, so he’s “bad”
this is what I see,  please leave Jews, Nazis, etc out of the story....

Most of the men posting here have beliefs and opinions that are not compatible with mine.  That doesn't mean they are bad.  I don't expect people to have views that align with mine, although those few that do "get" me.  Most of the rest don't.  Furthermore, I have never posted that Trench is "bad", just that this journey is not for him.  I base that not solely on one front (his repugnant views on women, including UW), but also on his lack of drive and his lack of money to finance this venture.

people change, after almost 19 yr of marriage and two children
I am a completely different person than I was before I was married
all relationships are a struggle with emotional pain
you never had emotional pain from your spouse or children?
if so, you are the luckiest person on the planet

I have never had emotional pain from my husband.  From my children, more worry than pain.  However, the core of who I was is the same.  Life has made me less open, but I am basically the same person.

if Trench can go find someone, I say good for him
and MAYBE it will be good for his partner as well
let them have their chance, and see if they can make it work
doesn’t every single human being deserve to have this chance?

He is wasting time and money.  That is why I suggest he put exactly what he wants in a profile.  At least then, he will filter out sincere women who don't want a life like his.  He will have to filter out the scammers from among the rest.

[Boethius]

wow BdHvA  4 grown kids!  today I find myself envying you after having a big argument with my oldest over her behavior, sigh

I believe three are grown, one is still fairly young.

[krimster2]

“I am not referring to financial, or worldly success.  I am referring to success in a relationship.  You can't have true intimacy with your partner if you believe you are rescuing her, or doing her a favour by importing her.”

really?  my wife grew up in a two room shack with no indoor toilet in an agricultural village in Crimea, I TOTALLY think I rescued her, and you know what? so does she!
I don’t know how it would be possible to have more shared intimacy with my wife than what I have now it would probably involve surgery and not be pleasant at all

so contradiction there!!!

“Every man here who has railed against "evil feminists" has failed in his marriage to an FSUW.”
 
Evil feminists, is there some other kind? oops, I’m railing but yet I’ve been married 19 yr

so contradiction there as well!!!

this is my point, your rules might apply to a large population in terms of some statistical probability, but to an individual it’s not so easy to predict, I just broke two of your rules, yet been married 19 yr

i’ve seen some funky relationships in Ukraine that were successful, like a 60+ yr old American guy and a 28 yr old UW, and I’ve seen MANY of these where you just scratch your head and wonder...

it’s why I don’t think there are any rules

EXCEPT FOR ONE BIG ONE!!!!!
NO REALLY, REALLY BIG ONE!!!!

NO MONEY!  NO HONEY!

this we can both agree on, to me this is his main problem

[ML]

it’s why I don’t think there are any rules

EXCEPT FOR ONE BIG ONE!!!!!
NO REALLY, REALLY BIG ONE!!!!

NO MONEY!  NO HONEY!

I asked my spouse whether she would still love me if I lost all my money.

She said:  Yes of course . . . and I would miss you too!!!

[krimster2]

the most touching example of love between a married couple
I saw on the streets of Sevastopol many, many years ago
there was a homeless couple going through a garbage bin
in Russia they’re called “bumzhee”
both middle aged and rather short with baggy ill fitting and filthy clothes
I was watching them out of the corner of my eye inconspicuously
as they pawed through the garbage
the man fished out an uneaten pancake, and held it between his thumb and forefinger
examining it closely, when he was satisfied, he held it out beaming to his partner
and she smiled back at him and took only half and they shared it
standing next to the garbage dumpster on a cold winter’s day in Sevastopol
I had tears in my eyes, damned wind was fierce that day...
the human condition, love, pain, death

[Boethius]

Did you set out believing in a power differential in the relationship because she was poor?  Did you let her know that?

Do you want your daughters to forgo education, marry young, toil as shopclerks, and take care of their husbands?  No college, no career as physicians?

[krimster2]

“Did you set out believing in a power differential in the relationship because she was poor?  Did you let her know that?”

haha, you are so amusing
power differential?  who do you think wields the “power” in my family, me or my wife?
she does!
I honestly don’t care about power or “control” over anyone!
my obsessive compulsive engineering mind is stuck in whatever project I’m working on!
I’ve been that way since I was a child
it’s HER kitchen!
HER house!
HER rules!
it’s why the kids always come running to me for help!
“Daddy help, she’s gone full slav!”
I have a much “softer” personality than my wife’s “full slav” Russian one!!!
whatever economic disparity there was between us, obviously disappeared once we were married
mi casa/dinero, su casa/dinero
my wife has a very typical domineering Russian personality
and a pretty strong one at that
so I’m the one in danger from power and control issues and not her
 

[Boethius]

I meant when you married. The description of your relationship is one of the FSUW characteristics Trench specifically rails against. It’s one of the reasons everyone else here states he won’t be successful.

[krimster2]

I was very much the "doting" husband during my first year of marriage
maybe in some ways paternal, because my wife had SO MUCH to learn!
so natural I would be her teacher

yeah, the dominant Russian woman thing
that can be difficult to deal with!
it's why I have a large house
one wing of the house is "mine" and where I have my workshop
and the second floor belongs to the kids
with a lot of space we can retreat to our own territory if need be
over time, you learn NOT to press each other's buttons
so most of the time life is peaceful
however, if there ARE tensions
Russians aren't very good at expressing emotions in a calm way
or at communicating
so you have to learn how to interact in a way that doesn't ESCALATE tensions
and I'm pretty good at being able to communicate calmly

[Trenchcoat]

I was very much the "doting" husband during my first year of marriage
maybe in some ways paternal, because my wife had SO MUCH to learn!
so natural I would be her teacher

yeah, the dominant Russian woman thing
that can be difficult to deal with!
it's why I have a large house
one wing of the house is "mine" and where I have my workshop
and the second floor belongs to the kids
with a lot of space we can retreat to our own territory if need be
over time, you learn NOT to press each other's buttons
so most of the time life is peaceful
however, if there ARE tensions
Russians aren't very good at expressing emotions in a calm way
or at communicating
so you have to learn how to interact in a way that doesn't ESCALATE tensions
and I'm pretty good at being able to communicate calmly

Now why I wouldn't condone brutality towards women, would you say a light gentle smack on the lady's bum from time to time might be the sort of stick sometimes needed Krimster?

[Jumper]

So now you are back to trolling?

 

[Trenchcoat]

So now you are back to trolling?

 

Not at all, it's a serious question.