IM freaking out mannnn!!!

[cranehand]

9 days to go and I will jump that big ol silver bird and fly.  I have cleaned and cleaned all the clothes are on hangers, new shower curtains in place, the dust bunnies are in the dyson and I have put food in the freezer.  Momma she is coming home .  K1 docs all accounted for, I dare the IO to ask for something. LOL.......... people I am so ready for this.  The heat there ( Kherson) has been comparable to the south Texas July weather so she is getting conditioned to the heat and humidity, she is a very sweet woman I hope she does not melt, guess I better change the filter on the AC

Any other suggestions?

[acctBill]

1. How about food that she is use to eating or at least a list of local shops that sell Ukrainian/Russian food. 
2. Maps of the area so she can find her way around the city when you are at work or otherwise occupied.
3. Her own set of keys for the house/apartment.
4. Cell phone for her own use.
5. Take her on a couple of drives around the city and neighbourhood so she knows where supermarket, malls, convenience store etc. are located.
6. Be prepared she'll want to change things or buy things for the house once she's had time to look around the house.
7. Made room for her belongings that she might be shipping from Kherson.
8. Russian/Ukrainian TV or radio or Internet ready. 

undoubtedly lots more.  Good luck and best wishes for a happy life together.   

[ECOCKS]

Things to while away your time.....

1. Main showerhead replacement with a handheld spray head on flextubing.
2. Bench in the foyer to change and store shoes.
3. Water filter.
4. Generous selection of teas, green and black.
5. An espresso machine for the kitchen or main bedroom.
6. Be sure the central AC vent doesn't blow on her side of the bed, maybe consider a deflector.
7. New mats at front, back and garage doors for wiping feet.
8. Some flower vases strategically located (kitchen, dining table, den and bedroom) and filled by a trusted buddy the morning before you arrive back home.
9. Ibuprofen in your pocket for the trip, taken by both of you just before plane lands and you begin the baggage, Customs and drive home scenario.
10. Where you taking her for your first American dinner OR what are you planning on cooking? (Hints: * Salmon, whether you cook it over a fire or take her to Outback works pretty well. * Also, don't overwhelm her with a welcome party or family and friends the first evening.)

Good luck!

[Shostakovich]

Interesting suggestions. 

Espresso machine in the bedroom? 

If childless, I've always thought that one very important thing was to have limited employment or volunteer work lined up for her when she arrives.  I know one K-1 that went South because the girl went stir crazy in the first month without anything to do except clean the house and try to fix a meal. 

Also, could be handy to have a credit card ready for her. 

Too, making acquaintance with a few Russian speaking people in the area beforehand will allow you to schedule an evening or two and give her the opportunity to speak once in a while in her own language.

[ECOCKS]

Espresso machine in the bedroom? 


Also, could be handy to have a credit card ready for her. 

Too, making acquaintance with a few Russian speaking people in the area beforehand will allow you to schedule an evening or two and give her the opportunity to speak once in a while in her own language.

I've had a coffeemaker in my bedroom or master bedroom bath for the last 20 years so an espresso machine is nothing out of the ordinary for my life.

It will probably be difficult to get her a credit card until she has her passport at hand and can sign the papers. An ATM card with Visa capability was fine for my wife.

Although opinions are mixed, I'm one of those not in favor of hunting out FSU "friends" for her. If she wants them she'll make it known but, aside from the negative effect on her language and potentially on her assimilation overall, better to let her get her feet on the ground and determine her own way IMO.

[I/O]

I dare the IO to ask for something.

Seeing as my name was mentioned with such reverence, I'll ask for nothing but I'll "tell" you to forget the A/C, she won't melt, she'll grizzle like hell about getting sick because of the freezing A/C and ...................................As for all the rest of it, you're pretty much wasting your time, we all did, but it does salve ones conscience to an extent.

Unromantic though it may be, within a week, sit her down and set out a family budget. Make sure she has her own money to do with as she pleases. Ideally, set up a bank account for her and regularly transfer whatever her initial allowance is into it. Her money should be quite separate from family and or your expense accounts. Nevertheless, for the first week or 3, give her an allowance in cash, regularly, on the same day or every day or whatever you decide. In the first instance, cash is real, cards are not but that will change quickly enough.

To share something very personal and something I respect Mrs I/O very much for, I've often overheard her chatting with RW friends who have no such freedom/s with allowances, cars etc and she always says I/O gives me such and such every week but I know if I need anything extra he will never refuse me. That gives me some satisfaction she feels confident, secure  and relaxed which I think is very important but the most interesting thing is that even today, if she decides to draw even as little as $100 out of the family account she calls me for prior approval. I rouse on her and point out she doesn't need to ask, her response? "I like to". I firmly believe this is a result of us sitting down over excel very early on and putting everything on the table / screen.

You'll need to a be a good husband, lover, friend, companion and so forth but above almost all, you'll need to be a good and careful, if very sensitive, manager. Get Skype or some suitable VoIP well set up with a good Handset / Headset / Webcam etc, insist she calls home every day And................give her private time to do just that without you hanging around.  

[Makkin]

  That was really good advice I/O.....Very good...

[ECOCKS]

LOL - just ignore the BS stuff and work your little projects Crane. They'll occupy you and get you to flight time.

You've put a good deal of effort into getting this far, you're gonna be fine.

Just remember, DEEP BREATHS!

Let us know how it goes and best of luck!

[Brianinaz]

I will echo what IO said about Skype. Make sure moma has a computer, internet service for the flat and knows how to use it. The ability to see and speak with the family back home daily is IMO invaluable.

[viking]

Some very good advice has been posted here. From my own experience with Mrs. Viking....take it slow. She didnt even unpack for a week or so. She still hasn't met most of my friends because  "my english is not so good". I think it is but if she is going to be uncomfortable then my friends can just wait. I really didn't bother about making the house super clean. I always kept a neat home and that is what she had when she arrived. It took a few months before she started to feel comfortable enough to make some changes. Communication is key with people back home. Skype and an international calling plan on my phone was important.

Every woman is different. Just dont push your agenda. I disagree with I/O about financails. For the first few weeks we just got to know each other better. Took some trips around town. Some trips to the city. A lot of walking and relaxing. As she became more acclimated and we started to do some shopping together, then we gradually got into the mony talks. All she wanted was $5 a week. That was it. Just in case she wanted to buy some fruit on the way home from school. I offered more but that was all she wanted or needed. she was more concerned that her mother, on a pension and living alone, was able to get along without her salary. So money went in that direction. Everyone is different.

As far as I am concerned, all this about where is the coffee pot or the type of shower head in the bath is really not important. If she wants to change anything she will tell you...if you both have the ability to openly talk about anything. THAT is most important.

[Gator]

Skype, skype, skype....

The RW who visited me here talked to her family almost every day.  She would reach out and touch their cheeks on the screen.

Russian TV.....

I always miss the news when traveling, although in recent years Russian cable has BBC.  Does this help or delay an English-limited RW to improve her English?  If homesick, learning English would be difficult.

Espresso in the bedroom?

Kick her ass out of bed and tell her to go to the kitchen and bring your coffee and newspaper.  

[Faux Pas]

9 days to go and I will jump that big ol silver bird and fly.  I have cleaned and cleaned all the clothes are on hangers, new shower curtains in place, the dust bunnies are in the dyson

Any other suggestions?

That's probably not going to matter much. Likely, it still won't be clean enough for her. I've always kept a pretty clean house but after my wife's first week, we were washing walls, floors, curtains, blinds, you name it, it got washed.

Lots of good info so far on this thread. I would especially point out what ECOCKS posted about the flextube shower head, as he pointed out to me early on. My wife was having a difficult time explaining to me what she was needing, more specifically during a particular time of the month. The flexible shower head solved that problem.

You might also want to take her some place to buy new bed linen and pillows. I had a few sets and some pretty comfy pillows but none were acceptable.

[tim 360]

That's probably not going to matter much. Likely, it still won't be clean enough for her. I've always kept a pretty clean house but after my wife's first week, we were washing walls, floors, curtains, blinds, you name it, it got washed.

/quote]

A friend from Kiev helped me organize my office at home.  We were just going to organize some paperwork and computer stuff, instead she turned the place upside down and cleaned it while organizing.  After that she decided the whole house needed organizing, which included top-to-bottom detail cleaning of the entire house.  Talk about spotless.

[GQBlues]

You've gotten pretty much a lot of things from everyone here. While my case was a bit different than everyone else since I petitioned her entire family literally so they can attend our wedding, and they stayed with us for about a month. They came within 2 weeks after she arrived. But the core of my wife's adjustment wish list fell upon within most of what the people here stated.

While it isn't true for every newly-arrived FSUWs, food was a big deal with my wife's first adjustment period. Good tea is also a must as she rarely drinks coffee. This is a good place to get a nice variety.

My wife relied on TV subtitles. Annoying as that will be for you, it's a good tool for her to help with her language adjustment.

We gave webcams to each of her family members before they left to take back with them to ease with their respective adjustments.

I've never taken the bus in and around our city since I was still a kid, but took a couple of days with my wife and rode the bus routes so we can both be educated with its system. It proved to be a gem in our case when I got back on my normal work schedule.

Ross and Marshalls were a huge time consumer and entertainment for my wife, Mumski and her sisters while they were here. They all disliked Nordstrom as they thought it was ridiculously priced.

Most importantly, if possible, the single biggest aid was to take as much time off from your work as possible during her first days and weeks.

I bought this book as I thought there will be things in there that she may find useful that I will either neglect to go over with her, or even forget. I also bought a much shorter version, yet much more personally wriiten by one RW I had high respect for. Her name is Liddy Johnson, IIRC. She used to post at the old RWG and went by the name 'Lizzy'. That actually was the one my wife read and liked better. I'm not sure if she's still around however. Both were written in Russian and English.

The beach helped a great deal for me. She spent a lot of time there during the times I had to go to work as well.

Anyway, that should be a good base for the first 2 months or so.

[ECOCKS]

Just a reminder, but the OP didn't ask about what to do after she got here.

He stated he was going crazy waiting these last few days and asked for suggestions on whiling away the time before his flight to prepare for her arrival.

[Faux Pas]

Just a reminder, but the OP didn't ask about what to do after she got here.

He stated he was going crazy waiting these last few days and asked for suggestions on whiling away the time before his flight to prepare for her arrival.

ECOCKS, they're mutually inclusive. There is much he can do to bide his time all in preparing for her arrival. Once he steps on that plane to head East upon returning, she will be with him.

[ECOCKS]

ECOCKS, they're mutually inclusive. There is much he can do to bide his time all in preparing for her arrival. Once he steps on that plane to head East upon returning, she will be with him.

I disagree. His request was simple. Sitting and planning out a major financial discussion or selecting which friends she can instantly make based on them speaking the same language will drive him even closer to "Freaksville".

[Shadow]

Look at the house through the eyes of a woman.
You will spend the next 9 days cleaning again and it will not be enough. :evil:

[GQBlues]

Look at the house through the eyes of a woman. You will spend the next 9 days cleaning again and it will not be enough. :evil:

I agree with you there Shadow as I thought about the same thing before. Why clean the house? It's useless...leave as-is and as dirty as you can to make sure she'll have plenty of things to do with her time when she arrive and while the man is at work. Besides, keeping her busy will also keep her from being 'homesick'.

win-win... 

[Gator]

I agree with you there Shadow as I thought about the same thing before. Why clean the house? It's useless...leave as-is and as dirty as you can to make sure she'll have plenty of things to do with her time when she arrive and while the man is at work. Besides, keeping her busy will also keep her from being 'homesick'.

A Russian woman cleaning a house in full grind and top gear!!! :whirling:

They clean very well.  And while cleaning they don't stop to examine "clutter" (i. e., your "stuff") before they put it out of sight.  You will be missing some "stuff" for a long time.  So store away carefully anything that is important.

[cranehand]

Thank you people,

There are some great suggestions  here.  Lots of stuff I really didn't think about. 

I did change the shower head
our public trans system here is just to far out of the way.  She says where we will live looks like a village   so we will spend a few days driving around to get her bearings, then I will start her driving :hairraising:
She says we will clean the house together so do not worry about it.
ESL classes in near future
Allowence? not sure about that 1 yet.
Taking time off from work to spend the first few days or maybe a week with her.

I have lived alone for the past 2 years but I am truly looking forward to coming home to her ever day from work and living as her King.  I can not believe we are almost done with the K1, I will be very glad to be by her to work on the AOS and all the other hoops USCIS will make us jump through. 

Thanks for the support

[Blues Fairy]

Allowence? not sure about that 1 yet.
I am truly looking forward to coming home to her ever day from work and living as her King.

 

[Gator]

 

Come on.....Cranehand says he is freaking out! 

[Rutherford]

porridge, take her to natural  food store for unlimited kinds of
porridge .      YES on the extended hose  shower head thing .  The AC is a real  battle  , takes a year for her to get used to 78F.
One day I came home and found her enjoying  90F   inside , OMFG !!!!!!,  I explaind to her , WE are  RICH , we do not live in village , rich people have AC  , we are rich , (compared to life in Russia , we are ) .             Expect   the  first year  to be  difficult  with  the year ending with more in common  , having ironed out  some differences of the 2 cultures . My wife love her Russian fashion show and health  show in the morning  and "Lets Marry " on in the afternoon , helps to keep her sane , I guess , so get her Russian TV  using Direst TV , they have 5 channels

Be ready fore this ,  the questions  , OMG , soooo many .    You know how someone will ask a question because they are missing a piece to the puzzle , well , with RW , they are missing the entire   puzzle, be prepared to answer questions with COMPLETE answers  , she will need the entire picture , not just a missing piece .   Take her to buffet   type restaurants    , I promise she will love them . Introduce  her to your favorite  fun foods , like graham  crackers and other sweets .
She will be like a child  at Disney land , maybe .

Now , if you have to teach her to drive  , oh my , lol

[wiz]

Don't forget the Skype connection..... make sure it works in both ends before she comes..........very important as others pointed out!

Now that you heard so many good suggestions take a sit, relax and get ready.

When she comes..... she will take care of everything......she will build her own nest ....... and be sure that she will learn fast, where to find to buy the best cheapest stuff!

Don't forget to have plenty of sweets (confeti) for her tea! 

Finally remember what groovisk said many moons ago:

"I had patience, rivers of patience, ocean of patience and still fell short......"

Good luck.