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Author Topic: Courting a Ukrainian Woman  (Read 9216 times)

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Chai

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Courting a Ukrainian Woman
« on: November 21, 2021, 08:09:31 AM »
Hello Forum,

I am currently trying to court a Ukrainian Woman. I met her during my trip to Ukraine.

A little bit about me, I am 37 live in Germany, divorced no kids. I met this woman (also 37, divorced and no Kids) in Ukraine. She is highly educated, has her own Marketing company. She seemed very interested in my and we both confessed that we like each other. We had 3 dates in all before I returned. From then on we keep in touch via whatsapp. It has been 2 months since I returned from my trip and we have had 1 video call (just 1 !!). Whenever I propose to have a video call with a proposed date and time She is busy with something. I know running your own business is not an easy thing and one has to be ready 24*7 to maintain customer relations and get projects done. I still think that there should be more enthusiasm from her side.

I even proposed a video date where we cook food from the same recipe. she liked the idea and I sent her a recipe too but we cannot agree on a date as she always has last minute plans. If I don't message for 2-3 days I see her message on my phone asking me how I am and How things are going. So I guess she is still interested.

I know we are not a couple as yet as we have had just 3 dates, not gotten physical but I am not sure where am I falling short or what am I doing wrong. I also proposed that I will go to Ukraine during Christmas to meet her and spend time with her. She was very pleasantly surprised ( her own words) and was welcoming to the idea.

I am confused. Am I asking for too much? Am I trying to make it go too fast? Or am I missing something?

Offline civi68

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Re: Courting a Ukrainian Woman
« Reply #1 on: November 21, 2021, 08:32:59 AM »
I would also be concerned if a woman did not want to have video calls at least once a week. It is hard enough trying to get to know someone long distance. Video calls help you to get to know each other and see if you are compatible. Keep in mind that it is not much trouble for you to visit her but a lot of effort on your part. Sounds to me that she needs to put more effort in the relationship. Everyone is different but I wouldn't visit a woman again if we were not taking on video at least weekly.

Offline ML

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Re: Courting a Ukrainian Woman
« Reply #2 on: November 21, 2021, 08:59:52 AM »
With a video call, she would have to be concerned about getting all her boyfriend's items out of view.  Plus getting him out of the home.
A beautiful woman is pleasant to look at, but it is easier to live with a pleasant acting one.

Chai

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Re: Courting a Ukrainian Woman
« Reply #3 on: November 21, 2021, 09:23:49 AM »
@ civi68 - I agree with you. What I dont know is why is it that she contacts me if I am not in touch for 2-3 days but has no time for a video call?

@ML - although that may be a possibility, in this case I doubt that.

Offline BC

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Re: Courting a Ukrainian Woman
« Reply #4 on: November 21, 2021, 10:54:05 AM »
Any intimacy at all on your three dates?

Offline rwd123

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Re: Courting a Ukrainian Woman
« Reply #5 on: November 21, 2021, 02:59:15 PM »
She's not interested.

Personally I'd delete/block her, but you may just want to ghost her for a while.


Offline LAman

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Re: Courting a Ukrainian Woman
« Reply #6 on: November 21, 2021, 04:32:33 PM »
Hello Forum,

I am currently trying to court a Ukrainian Woman. I met her during my trip to Ukraine.

A little bit about me, I am 37 live in Germany, divorced no kids. I met this woman (also 37, divorced and no Kids) in Ukraine. She is highly educated, has her own Marketing company. She seemed very interested in my and we both confessed that we like each other. We had 3 dates in all before I returned. From then on we keep in touch via whatsapp. It has been 2 months since I returned from my trip and we have had 1 video call (just 1 !!). Whenever I propose to have a video call with a proposed date and time She is busy with something. I know running your own business is not an easy thing and one has to be ready 24*7 to maintain customer relations and get projects done. I still think that there should be more enthusiasm from her side.

I even proposed a video date where we cook food from the same recipe. she liked the idea and I sent her a recipe too but we cannot agree on a date as she always has last minute plans. If I don't message for 2-3 days I see her message on my phone asking me how I am and How things are going. So I guess she is still interested.

I know we are not a couple as yet as we have had just 3 dates, not gotten physical but I am not sure where am I falling short or what am I doing wrong. I also proposed that I will go to Ukraine during Christmas to meet her and spend time with her. She was very pleasantly surprised ( her own words) and was welcoming to the idea.

I am confused. Am I asking for too much? Am I trying to make it go too fast? Or am I missing something?


Why aren't you confronting this girl about your concerns? Why are you asking a forum which knows little to nothing about your relationship? Are you scared what this girl will say/do if confronted?
Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift

Offline Davo

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Re: Courting a Ukrainian Woman
« Reply #7 on: November 21, 2021, 08:13:35 PM »
What site or agency did you meet her on. I’ve heard a guy experience similar behaviour from a PPL / prodater...... Kept him on the hook via messages, but little interest in video chatting.

Offline GQBlues

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Re: Courting a Ukrainian Woman
« Reply #8 on: November 22, 2021, 06:40:53 AM »
You were a convenient novel foreigner at the onset, over time the interest waned. There’s not much involved to video chat anyone on WhatsApp. Don’t make anything more with your current situation. Let it be. Date/meet other options if you’re in search. Occupy your mind with other things in life.
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Offline civi68

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Re: Courting a Ukrainian Woman
« Reply #9 on: November 22, 2021, 07:11:42 AM »
She may have some interest in you but maybe not enough for something serious. It happens where the woman has interest but not enough to devote a lot of time. Sure, she will be happy to see you if you visit but the question is she really that interested to justify a trip? I doubt she is that interested if she won't talk to you on video at least once a week. If she was interested, she would be looking forward to seeing you and put in more effort. Think about it. She can't even talk to you an hour a week? If that is the case, how did she have time to see in on your trip?
     I met a few over the years that had some interest and wanted to see me again or were always available to meet while I was there but only were casually interested. It can be confusing since local women just forget about you. But in the FSU, you can have women who send mixed signals who are not seriously interested. Best rule to follow is if it is not normal in a local relationship for an interested woman to act this way then it is not normal for FSU women that are interested in a man. If you have to chase her for attention or she acts lazy about making an effort, you could end up wasting your time on a 2nd visit. I never visit a woman again if we don't develop something on video. These relationships take a lot of effort so the woman has to be in 100% after the 1st trip for it to work. I also wouldn't spend much time talking to her about it. She will just say she is interested and give you the same I am busy routine. If she was dedicated to developing something with you, you wouldn't have to say anything.
« Last Edit: November 22, 2021, 07:55:32 AM by civi68 »

Offline ML

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Re: Courting a Ukrainian Woman
« Reply #10 on: November 22, 2021, 08:10:13 AM »

Why aren't you confronting this girl about your concerns? Why are you asking a forum which knows little to nothing about your relationship? Are you scared what this girl will say/do if confronted?

Hey LA Guy, this man's post is no different than hundreds of others that have come here over the years.

This is what this site is for . . . for guys to ask any questions they want to about FSU gals.

If a guy wants to know if most FSU gals shave their twat, then this is the place to ask . . . rather than to ask a particular FSU gal about it.

By the way . . . my experience was 20 80.
A beautiful woman is pleasant to look at, but it is easier to live with a pleasant acting one.

Offline Nightwish

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Re: Courting a Ukrainian Woman
« Reply #11 on: November 22, 2021, 08:47:34 AM »
Hey LA Guy, this man's post is no different than hundreds of others that have come here over the years.

This is what this site is for . . . for guys to ask any questions they want to about FSU gals.

If a guy wants to know if most FSU gals shave their twat, then this is the place to ask . . . rather than to ask a particular FSU gal about it.

By the way . . . my experience was 20 80.

I am guessing that for you mean 20% was shaved and 80% not?

From my experience, 90/10 - not all bare, some had a cute landingstrip still.

Times have changed........... and (full)hair is a thing of the past, actually I was quite surprised when I met the first one that had a full on hedge down there, and I aint against it, just surprised
Multitasking means screwing up several things at once.

Offline GQBlues

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Re: Courting a Ukrainian Woman
« Reply #12 on: November 22, 2021, 11:38:00 AM »
Two things I always see happen in these situations.

1. Men are mostly not confident enough about themselves that assumptions are mostly made from likely benign situations/beginnings. 'Dating' are often times tagged as some silly entitlement of 'exclusivity' when it was never discussed, or likely was never a consideration to begin with.

2. Expectation. Loneliness brings and causes so many men to their knees and hopelessly become dependent in the imaginary perception of a romance, when there wasn't one, or one that hasn't seeded yet.

How to cross over these hurdles?

LAMan makes a great and valid point. Be the man you always wanted to be - confident. Make your intention known at some point. Taking the post here...a guy went out on a date with a gal 3 times. Had since been communication the last 2 months. Now, the feeling of insecurity about something in their 'association/relationship' propels him to ask people in the internet he doesn't know, instead of discussing it bluntly with the woman he had spent time with to begin with.

A man cannot lose what he never had. He cannot gain what he never earned.
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1. Because of 'man', global warming is causing desert and arid areas to suffer long, dry spell.
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3. N95 mask will choke you dead after 30 min. of use.

Offline Boethius

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Re: Courting a Ukrainian Woman
« Reply #13 on: November 22, 2021, 11:48:17 AM »
Hey LA Guy, this man's post is no different than hundreds of others that have come here over the years.

This is what this site is for . . . for guys to ask any questions they want to about FSU gals


Exactly.  I assumed the question, though not asking directly, was more about cultural differences. 


OP, she's just not that into you.  She either has a husband/boyfriend/mother who is more important than you.  You are plan b.  Time to move on.




After the fall of communism, the biggest mistake Boris Yeltsin's regime made was not to disband the KGB altogether. Instead it changed its name to the FSB and, to many observers, morphed into a gangster organisation, eventually headed by master criminal Vladimir Putin. - Gerard Batten

Chai

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Re: Courting a Ukrainian Woman
« Reply #14 on: November 22, 2021, 02:01:54 PM »
Thank you all for the responses.

I think the 20-80 Shaved topic has overflown from another forum. Lets put that back into its original forum.

@LAman - The point is not to confront her. Rather if I have to confront her for her at the early stages for her involvement I don't think that is worth it. Confronting will only bring bitterness in the conversation.

I wanted to know if this type of behaviour is common ( seems yes) or if I was missing something in my communication with her. Confident - yes I am. I am also not overconfident for sure. I communicate clearly with when I wish to have a video call but I dint demand her presence. If this is being nice, then I cant change. I know what I want and I can ask for it, but I am not into coaxing someone I am still not in any meaningful relation.

For now I am not going to Ukraine in Christmas. I will also not be communicating from my side. Altough I wont be ghosting her (meaning, I will reply to her messages if she approaches me), I wont be the one initiating contact anymore. I think that should give me a clear signal.


Offline Davo

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Re: Courting a Ukrainian Woman
« Reply #15 on: November 22, 2021, 03:55:31 PM »
In my recent experience, this isn’t normal behaviour if she genuinely likes you and can see a future together...... I’ve probably taken 20-30 women off the dating sites to WhatsApp and Skype and what struck me was the level of intensity most wanted to communicate, even before meeting in real life.....  Messaging anywhere from a couple of hours a day to 12 or more in some cases...... Phone calls a couple times a week or more and video chat 1-7 times a week..... After I’d met my main focus in real life and we hit it off, video chat was a daily occurrence and phone calls were too. Previously we would video chat 1-2 times a week, but message 8-12 hours a day..... Even a casual holiday relationship I had with the sister of a Russian friends girlfriend, still results in occasional video chatting. It’s all we do..... I met a new women a few weeks ago. I had her whatapp details 10 minutes after meeting online. 10 minutes later we had a 2 hour phone call and the next day a 1 hour video chat, now it’s twice a week .... This is exactly what I usually see from a woman you have mutual chemistry with.


« Last Edit: November 22, 2021, 04:04:01 PM by Davo »

Offline GQBlues

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Re: Courting a Ukrainian Woman
« Reply #16 on: November 22, 2021, 04:49:41 PM »
In my recent experience, this isn’t normal behaviour if she genuinely likes you and can see a future together...... I’ve probably taken 20-30 women off the dating sites to WhatsApp and Skype and what struck me was the level of intensity most wanted to communicate, even before meeting in real life.....  Messaging anywhere from a couple of hours a day to 12 or more in some cases...... Phone calls a couple times a week or more and video chat 1-7 times a week..... After I’d met my main focus in real life and we hit it off, video chat was a daily occurrence and phone calls were too. Previously we would video chat 1-2 times a week, but message 8-12 hours a day..... Even a casual holiday relationship I had with the sister of a Russian friends girlfriend, still results in occasional video chatting. It’s all we do..... I met a new women a few weeks ago. I had her whatapp details 10 minutes after meeting online. 10 minutes later we had a 2 hour phone call and the next day a 1 hour video chat, now it’s twice a week .... This is exactly what I usually see from a woman you have mutual chemistry with.


Holy smokes, Davo! Now I've always coined you to be one of the more astute dudes searching in the FSU...but truthfully, I just can't see myself to be so wrapped up in anyone as to subject myself into that intense degree of communication. Sh!t, man!!! I don't know how you guys do this with anyone you're not in an 'exclusive' relationship with.


Heck, even when you're in one. Seem rather suffocating to me. As AJ always say, YMMV I guess.
Quote from: msmob
1. Because of 'man', global warming is causing desert and arid areas to suffer long, dry spell.
2. The 2018 Camp Fire and Woolsey California wildfires are forests burning because of global warming.
3. N95 mask will choke you dead after 30 min. of use.

Offline Davo

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Re: Courting a Ukrainian Woman
« Reply #17 on: November 22, 2021, 05:51:38 PM »

Holy smokes, Davo! Now I've always coined you to be one of the more astute dudes searching in the FSU...but truthfully, I just can't see myself to be so wrapped up in anyone as to subject myself into that intense degree of communication. Sh!t, man!!! I don't know how you guys do this with anyone you're not in an 'exclusive' relationship with.


Heck, even when you're in one. Seem rather suffocating to me. As AJ always say, YMMV I guess.

The time difference works well for me and it’s not constant minute by minute messaging.... maybe every 15 -30 minutes for the most part..... My philosophy is to get to know them as much as I can online and hopefully not waste time on the ground...... There’s been a lot of women who seemed perfect for the few couple of months, but started waving big red flags after that. I don’t think that would have come out if I had have cut correspondence back to WMVM levels.

Thinking back a few years now, I would have put the same effort into online dating sites at home. I’d have 5-10 women on the go constantly on POF, zoosk and tinder...... with online chat, dates and then
2 speed dating events a week sometimes, it was almost a full time job!!...... I’m not sure if it’s just luck, but I found with dating the more time I put in the better the results were and quality of the women I met.


« Last Edit: November 22, 2021, 07:57:58 PM by Davo »

Offline GQBlues

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Re: Courting a Ukrainian Woman
« Reply #18 on: November 22, 2021, 08:07:56 PM »
TBH Davo, IMO, I much prefer things when I did it my way. Women vying for my time. I discarded those who demanded more time than I’m willing to share. Just chill, enjoy and appreciate moments with anyone, with as many as possible, with as little time invested.

Way too many women to date to idle along with anyone for any significant length of time. The special someone will always make herself known and separate herself from all the rest.
Quote from: msmob
1. Because of 'man', global warming is causing desert and arid areas to suffer long, dry spell.
2. The 2018 Camp Fire and Woolsey California wildfires are forests burning because of global warming.
3. N95 mask will choke you dead after 30 min. of use.

Offline Rosco

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Re: Courting a Ukrainian Woman
« Reply #19 on: November 23, 2021, 03:54:25 AM »
Maybe she's met and wasted time with other blokes similar to you, who never returned? She's maybe deiced that she'll hold back a bit until she knows you're taking it seriously. Unless you go back, you'll never know. That said, if you had stolen her heart during the first trip, she'd certainly be making more of an effort.

If you can afford the time and the money and you're really into her, do what you need to do. It's only another 3 day trip at the end of the day. If you're a bit desperate and clutching at straws, move on and date another girl.

Offline fathertime

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Re: Courting a Ukrainian Woman
« Reply #20 on: November 23, 2021, 06:29:23 AM »
since I returned from my trip and we have had 1 video call (just 1 !!). Whenever I propose to have a video call with a proposed date and time She is busy with something. 
 
I know we are not a couple as yet as we have had just 3 dates, not gotten physical but I am not sure where am I falling short or what am I doing wrong.   

Two things here.   The not getting physical and the  lack of video chats.    Both of these things are yellow flags in my opinion.  In my opinion you need to get back to the lady and visit as soon as you can.   

I was a 'force the issue' type guy.  I made sure we got physical first trip.  My attitude was "I'm here now", there is no time to waste.  I wanted to know if it was real or BS.     Video chatted ( too much)  in between trips, but it kept the relationship alive while we were separated.   

Overall, you need more information and the universe favors the intrepid so my advice is to get over to the lady, and force the issue.  Find out one way or another if this is interested in moving forward or not.  There is no time to waste. 


Fathertime! 
« Last Edit: November 23, 2021, 06:39:53 AM by fathertime »
I just happened to be browsing about the internet....

Online 2tallbill

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Re: Courting a Ukrainian Woman
« Reply #21 on: November 23, 2021, 08:08:17 AM »
I met this woman (also 37, divorced and no Kids) in Ukraine. She is highly
educated, has her own Marketing company. She seemed very interested in
my and we both confessed that we like each other.

We had 3 dates in all before I returned. From then on we keep in touch via
whatsapp. It has been 2 months since I returned from my trip and we have
had 1 video call (just 1 !!).

Or am I missing something?

Yes, something is missing. I am leaning towards she isn't very interested.

What is/was your plan for going back to Ukraine?
When you dated her in person, did you date others between dates 1 & 3?

The pretend date, making the same recipe is way too time consuming and
difficult. The odds of her ever collecting all the same ingredients and
assembling them at the same time as you is similar to flipping a coin
and getting tails 45 times in a row.

Shopping is much more difficult if you are a skinny FSUW and have to
carry grocery bags on a bus hoping that your arms don't fall off.

I have more to insight if you answer the two questions above.

Udachi!

Bill
FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Just kiss the girl, don't ask her first. Tolerate NO excuses!

Chai

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Re: Courting a Ukrainian Woman
« Reply #22 on: November 23, 2021, 02:16:31 PM »
Thanks for all the responses guys.

@ Rosco - The answers to your questions.
What is/was your plan for going back to Ukraine?

My plan was to go in Decmber during the Christmas vacations. She is an Orthodox so they celebrate Christmas on 7 Jan.

When you dated her in person, did you date others between dates 1 & 3?

yes, I did date 2 other women. With one we realised we dont match together. We enjoyed the dates. She took over the bill of the second one ( surprising!) showed me the city in the evening and we parted ways. With the other I also had two dates. She was a Lawyer by education. She told me  and fluent in English ( not shakespear fluent) but every second question her answer was ' I dont know!`' and 'maybe'. With nothing else coming out of her mouth I stopped chatting with her.


As I mentioned I am skeptical to go to Ukraine and meet her just to find out that the visit was good but the followup is still bad. I dont know about asserting my point at this early stage. Dosent it sound arrogant to say 'Talk to me every week!'? A few inputs from the ladies in this part would be helpful.

Offline rwd123

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Re: Courting a Ukrainian Woman
« Reply #23 on: November 23, 2021, 03:05:19 PM »
Move on.

A 37yo woman (and divorcee) has little value on the dating market. If she didn't jump in bed with you and doesn't want to video chat she's not interested.

You really should be dating women in their 20s anyway so it's no loss.

Offline Boethius

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Re: Courting a Ukrainian Woman
« Reply #24 on: November 23, 2021, 04:18:59 PM »
rwd, not all men want to date women a decade or more younger than they are.  Who a man "should" date is up to the man.


Incidentally, you're in Australia, not Ukraine, are you not? 
After the fall of communism, the biggest mistake Boris Yeltsin's regime made was not to disband the KGB altogether. Instead it changed its name to the FSB and, to many observers, morphed into a gangster organisation, eventually headed by master criminal Vladimir Putin. - Gerard Batten

 

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