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Author Topic: Feeling a little insecure all of a sudden  (Read 5282 times)

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Offline ukguy

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Feeling a little insecure all of a sudden
« on: March 22, 2005, 08:43:06 AM »
Hi guys, some really great info here from you all. Although it did make me stop and think about my relationship with the girl i am writing too. This is because i am with Anastasiaweb and read some really bad things about them. So naturally i thought before i plan my trip i should ask her to send me a copy of her id/passport......bad idea? well i just received the reply which i think she took my letter really well and said she would gladly send me her xerox? What are you thoughts should i be asking for anything else or am i just being a fool after reading about my agency??

Secondly i am only 27 and had planned to visit ukraine on my own but probably hadn't thought it all through. She doesn't speak very good English so should i hire an interpreter? if so for how long? Maybe i should send her money to learn English?? I know i shouldn't send money but it would feel really strange trying to build a relationship through an interpreter!!!!! Any advise would really help.

Lastly, getting ahead of myself a bit but i am from the UK and would like any advise on bringing her to my country. Is it not a good idea to marry in Ukaine?

Cheers Rich

Offline Goombah

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Feeling a little insecure all of a sudden
« Reply #1 on: March 22, 2005, 08:53:09 AM »
Rich -

A couple of things:  Hopefully by now you have her postal address and phone number.  Send her flowers (3 roses will do nicely) as a surprise, and use someone who will take a photo of the delivery.  That will give you an "everyday" shot of her, which could be illuminating, and confirm she is a she and not Bruno with a stack of ladies photos.  Call her if you havn't.  Thats not diffinitive, but is a good sign.  Both are cheap insurrance and eliminate the bad scammers.

DO NOT SEND MONEY TO ANYONE YOU HAVE NOT MET!  Clear enough? <smile>

You might want to have an interpretor go out with you the first time you met her.  With a good one, you won't know they are there.  Always talk to her, not the interpretor - look in her eyes when you talk.  I suggest having both a phrase book, and a decent dictionary.  After that first date, its really up to you two on how much effort you want to put into communciations.  Many get by with just a dictionary.  Most suggest skipping the electronic translator devices.

I'm from the USA, so can't help on UK issues.

Cheers!

Kevin

Offline KenC

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Feeling a little insecure all of a sudden
« Reply #2 on: March 22, 2005, 08:53:17 AM »
Rich,

There are always good girls at bad agencies and bad girls at good agencies.  I would think that she is a bit honest with you because she didn't hesitate to send you a copy of her passport.  I wouldn't send her money for English lessons just yet though.  #1-How much English could she really learn in a short period of time before you visit?  #2-Go meet her first before you send any money.  You are going to have to "bite the bullet" and pay for an interpretor.  Don't leave home without a back up plan of some sorts in case the two of you mix like oil and water.

KenC
You are a den of vipers and thieves-Andrew Jackson on banks
Banking establishments are more dangerous than standing armies-Thomas Jefferson

Offline ukguy

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Feeling a little insecure all of a sudden
« Reply #3 on: March 22, 2005, 09:02:46 AM »
Thanks for your advice Kevin, can you recommend somewhere where i can send flowers? Do they send the photo to my address or how will i see it?

Thanks Rich

Offline BC

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Feeling a little insecure all of a sudden
« Reply #4 on: March 22, 2005, 09:19:02 AM »
.. how I hate that flower for foto antiscam idea.  It's probably the oldest trick in the book that every girl knows is not sincere.

Offline Turboguy

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Feeling a little insecure all of a sudden
« Reply #5 on: March 22, 2005, 09:54:46 AM »
My thoughts are that since she sent you the info she passes the test for now.   I think there is a fine line between cautious and parnoid.  You are better off not crossing it.   There are a lot of guys who take advantage of the gals too and she seems to be trusting of you. 

Go visit her, there are lots of agencies if it is not what you expect.   You will learn more in a few hours with her then you can with months of writing.   Get an interperter for the first day.   You might find you can write notes back and forth.  That is what my gal and I do.   She can't speek English, but she can write it fine.   We tried the electronic transltor thingy.   She could not understand what it said after the transaltion, but could follow what I was typing in which is how we found we could communicate with notes.

A friend of mine was able to get his gal into the UK on a tourist visa.  You might be able to do that.  He is a UK citizen living in Atlanta.

Offline Leslie

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Feeling a little insecure all of a sudden
« Reply #6 on: March 22, 2005, 02:50:03 PM »
Rich,

My wife and I have been through the whole process.  The UK immigration and visa laws were tightened up very considerably in August 2003. 

Unless your girlfriend can get a tourist visa in her own right (i.e. without your invitation and sponsership) she won't get one at all.  The Home office rule is very simple - they will not grant a tourist visa to ANYONE who may remain in the UK illegally.  If your girlfriend owns a $50000 flat and has a good job paying say $1000 pm then of course she can take a vacation in UK.  If she is poor - no chance.

A student visa is still possible but it will cost you at least 10,000 pounds now.  Under the current rules your girlfriend must have written acceptance on a course accredited by the British Council.  The sponsor (you) must pay ALL the course fees and accomodation charges in advance!!  I invited my wife to the UK as a student, but it is so expensive now that it just is not a practical option for most people.

The best route is a Fiance visa.  As long as you get all the paperwork correct this will take around 6-8 weeks for Ukraine.  You then have 6 months together in UK to decide to marry.  If you marry you apply for "further leave to remain" this is a 2 year resident visa. At the end of this visa you can apply for indefinite leave to remain.  Once this is granted your wife can remain in UK whether she remains married to you or not.

If you marry in Ukraine then you have to apply for a spouse visa (again if you get all the paperwork correct think around 6-8 weeks).  Your wife would then be granted the 2 year conditional resident visa.

IMHO the fiance visa is the best option.  Adjusting to British culture is not easy!  Neither is building a cross cultural relationship.  If things don't work out on a Fiance visa well there are no legal support obligations. 

If you are already married then you will have to divorce in UK.  You will certainly be liable to support your ex-wife if she decides to remain in the UK.  Until she is a citizen she has no right to any cash benifits.

Les

 

 

Offline Goombah

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Feeling a little insecure all of a sudden
« Reply #7 on: March 22, 2005, 03:07:31 PM »
Many local agencies will take photos with flower deliveris.  I didn't catch what city she was in, but I've used www.asap.ru a few times.  Believe they add $5 for the photo.  $15-$20 isn't unusual.  They will e-mail you back the photo.

Kevin

Offline MandM

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Feeling a little insecure all of a sudden
« Reply #8 on: April 23, 2005, 05:52:38 AM »
I don't agree that it's that difficult to get a tourist visa to UK. We have plenty of Russian tourists over here all year around! My sister visits me every summer and she hasn't got a flat (she lives with our parents), or a well-paid job (she is still in University) but she never had any problems with her visa (touch wood). In summer 2003 my mum and my sister came to UK for a vacation together and they got their visas with no problems. But I am aware that its harder to get visa if you've never been to UK before.

If you do decide to go for the Fiance visa option, make sure that you can present the Embassy with evidence of your relationship (such as love letters, photographs etc). I came into England in1999 on Fiancee Visa and it took them about a month to process it. I had to have two interviews in the Embassy. If I were you I wouldnt apply for Fiancee visa until I was certain I want to marry the girl. If you do get married in Ukraine, better check out with the Embassy what the requirements are. You don't want her to be stuck in Ukraine and not being able to enter UK after you two tied the knot (I heard of a case of that happening).

The last thing I want to say that in my opinion immigration officers in British Embassy in Russia are a bit of a loose canon. They are unpredictable and have different approach. Some of them grant visas much easier that the others!  Good Luck and I hope it all works out!

Offline Leslie

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Feeling a little insecure all of a sudden
« Reply #9 on: April 23, 2005, 07:58:09 AM »
Hi,

I have no idea what you "handle" means but I presume from the posts you made today that you are now a UK citizen living in London.

On the tourist visa issue.  If you have had a tourist visa to UK or indeed to any EU country and obeyed it (i.e returned home within the time limit) then I reckon you are correct - you will get a visa.  However if you have not travelled abroad before then the situation is much more difficult. Early this year we applied for a tourist visa for my wife's brother.  He owns a flat, has a regular job paying around $300 a month, and a teenage daughter who lives with him.  He went to the interview at the British Embassy in Kiev and was turned down. The reason given was you intend to work in the UK and will not return to Ukraine.  No discussion no possible appeal.

You live in London have you felt the current wave of ill feeling towards east europeans? We certainly have!  The Tory party under Howard is outright hostile to "the flood of illegal immigrants from the east"  Fortunately I don't think they are going to win the election.

 

Offline Admin

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Feeling a little insecure all of a sudden
« Reply #10 on: April 23, 2005, 08:01:56 AM »
Quote from: Leslie
Hi,

I have no idea what you "handle" means but I presume from the posts you made today that you are now a UK citizen living in London.


Leslie, The username is actually 'M&M' - unfortunately, the board has some kind of trouble dealing with an ampersand in the username. I am trying to sort it out now.

- Dan

Offline Bruno

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Feeling a little insecure all of a sudden
« Reply #11 on: April 23, 2005, 11:13:23 AM »
Quote from: Leslie
On the tourist visa issue.  If you have had a tourist visa to UK or indeed to any EU country and obeyed it (i.e returned home within the time limit) then I reckon you are correct - you will get a visa.

The problem with tourist visa for UK is due to the special situation of UK in the EU... they have one foot inside and the other outside...

Shengen Visa work for all EU ( Austria, Belgium, Denmark, Finland, France, Germany, Iceland, Italy, Greece, Luxembourg, Netherlands, Norway, Portugal, Spain and Sweden ) except Uk... they are no inside the border of EU...

Offline Bruno

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Feeling a little insecure all of a sudden
« Reply #12 on: April 23, 2005, 11:29:58 AM »
Quote from: Leslie
Early this year we applied for a tourist visa for my wife's brother.  He owns a flat, has a regular job paying around $300 a month, and a teenage daughter who lives with him.  He went to the interview at the British Embassy in Kiev and was turned down. The reason given was you intend to work in the UK and will not return to Ukraine.  No discussion no possible appeal.

Appeal are possible, take a look about the procedure at http://www.ukvisas.gov.uk/servlet/Front?pagename=OpenMarket/Xcelerate/ShowPage&c=Page&cid=1018721068442

Maybe try a familly visit visa with sponsorship from you... the main page for a lot of info about UK visa is http://www.ukvisas.gov.uk

 

Offline MandM

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Feeling a little insecure all of a sudden
« Reply #13 on: April 23, 2005, 01:18:14 PM »
Dan, I am glad you explained that! I was wondering what went wrong with my username!

Leslie, I haven't got British citizenship yet, but I have lived in this country for 5 years. I haven't had any experience with the British Embassy in Kiev, only with the one in Moscow. Upsetting to hear that they are so strict - my girlfriend from Kiev was planning to visit me next year... I don't know what is happening with the Embassies in Kiev at the moment as she told me that half of her work colleagues were refused Shenghen visas when her department went to Paris for business trip. The reason given was that all of them had a brand new passports with no visas... Mad!:shock:

I can't say that I experienced any bad feeling towards Eastern Europeans in London. May be the reason is that London is more multinational than Manchester?

Offline Leslie

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Feeling a little insecure all of a sudden
« Reply #14 on: April 23, 2005, 01:58:33 PM »
Bruno,

I know you are trying to be helpful and thanks for that.  Problem was we applied for a regular tourist visa (not family sponsership).  We did not expect the visa to be refused.  There is no appeal from that tourist visa interview. Yura was not even interviewed by a British member of the embassy staff.  Only a locally employed Ukrainian woman who was very rude to him.  Next year after the birth of our daughter we will apply again.  My wife will then be an unconditional permanent resident and we will apply for a family visit visa.  Of course we will make certain the application is correct in every respect and my guess is if we do that the visa will be granted.....

Honestly I think the situation at the Embassy in Kiev is like a lottery!!!

M&M

I am very happy to see you posting here.  I used to live in North London and I think you are right London is an international city maybe you won't see the racism we have experienced.  Natasha still has a strong accent.  She is obviously east european.  Perhaps it is worse because we live in a very conservative area of south manchester, but Natasha has had to endure many hostile incidents from public servants who think she should go home to recieve health care! to people you meet on the street.

Leslie & Natasha

 

Offline MandM

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Feeling a little insecure all of a sudden
« Reply #15 on: April 23, 2005, 03:59:25 PM »
Les & Natasha,

Congratulations on the baby! When is she due? And how long have you guys been together?

I work in North London and sometimes you hear all languages being spoken there, except English! And we live in South London where white people are a minority (well, I am exagerating a bit) - so yes, it is different for me! I hope Natasha doesn't take those nasty comments to the heart, and I am sure her accent will improve and won't be so obvious. :D

I still have an accent as well, but not strong and when people tried to guess my accent they said that Im French/Spanish/Turkish/even American! :shock:. My boss was quite disappointed though after he invited me for interview - because he loves strong Eastern European accent (and a lot of people consider them very sexy!) - so sometimes I have to put it on to keep him happy! Recently I asked someone for directions in Central London and the lady was from Canada. She couldnt believe it when I told her I was Russian. 'No way!' she said 'how come you speak with a British accent?':shock:

Markie&Myself

Online 2tallbill

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Feeling a little insecure all of a sudden
« Reply #16 on: June 20, 2024, 12:33:32 PM »
i am with Anastasiaweb and read some really bad things about them. So naturally i thought before i plan my trip i should ask her to send me a copy of her id/passport......bad idea?

Lastly, getting ahead of myself a bit but i am from the UK and would like any advise on bringing her to my country. Is it not a good idea to marry in Ukaine?

Cheers Rich

There are plenty here to give you advice
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There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Just kiss the girl, don't ask her first. Tolerate NO excuses!

 

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