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Author Topic: Are American Men whipped?  (Read 5858 times)

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Offline Turboguy

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Are American Men whipped?
« on: July 13, 2005, 04:35:57 AM »
Something I happened to think about and I will throw it out for discussion.  After all we have fought 2 jihad's here and gotten nowhere and it is quiet now.

Scenario One.   I hear all these guys who are making their power trips to points unknown saying you must be a type A personallity or someone else is going to be bopping your gal and the gals of any other wimps.  You must take charge and let them know who is in control.  You must not put up with any kind of $hit.   If they don't kiss you quick and hop into your bed in a proper time, dump them.  If they look at you the wrong way, keep you waiting, don't bend over backwards to make you feel like a man, they are loosers.  If they are not sufficeintly eductated, obedient, stunning, built well, gracefull, talented and don't arrange their schedule to suit your needs you are a looser if you put up with them.

Scenario Two.   I hear the guys who are married saying things like.  OH, when they come, make sure you have your car waxed and vacumed.  Make sure there is not a speck of dust anywhere.  Don't expect them to cook or clean.   They will be ordering new houses in 6 months and if you don't give in you will be in deep $hit.  They will want thousands of dollars in clothes immediately on arrival.  They can't sleep in a used bed you may have had another woman in it.   They will need all new furniture almost right away.    Be prepaired to paint, paper, work in the yard, and to follow all her orders.    Yes, you are the head, but they are the neck and you can't do a damn thing unless they let you.   Don't think you are going to be able to golf or bowl or watch sports on TV.   They will need every second of your time for at least the first 722 days or whatever time it is till get get perminant status.  Oh, yes, have candy and flowers waiting for them, and of course when they bend over to pick it up you might want to kiss their a$$. 

Ok, so it seems to me that some people might look at those in the heat of the hunt as egotistical, male chavinist jerks that think of women as being one stage above dirt and purely sexual objects who will do thier bidding.  It seems to me that some people might look at the guys who have made their "conquest"  are pussy whipped wimps that are almost slaves to thier wives. 

Personally I don't think either.   I do have to ask.  What is going on here?

 

Offline KenC

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Are American Men whipped?
« Reply #1 on: July 13, 2005, 04:50:47 AM »
Turbo,

I think that you are taking the extreme version in both of your examples.  "Reality" of a successful relationship is somewhere in between (IMO).  A man can be strong and confident without treating women like dirt as well as he can be caring and thoughtful without being a weenie (PW).  RW seem to "test" their man's manlihood a bit more than AW.  If they push you and you refuse to give up your balls, they respect you more for it.  But if you constantly give in, you will soon be their beetch.  LOL.

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Offline mischief

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Are American Men whipped?
« Reply #2 on: July 13, 2005, 06:14:05 AM »
I prefer Scenario Two!!! LoL

Honestly, RW appreciate if you give in … especially when they come back to visit their families and see how their fathers, brothers, friends' husbands treat their women… they realize how lucky they are!

On the territory FSU even a weak worthless looser pretends that he is in control and tries to gain self-respect at the woman's expense - humiliating her and even physically abusing. I consider any man who raises his hand on a woman weak and worthless!
Confident strong men don't afraid to give in … they don't need to be reassured that they are not a weenie … and they always make sure that their women are happy and love kissing their asses when they bend over… these asses are damn pretty, after all!

Offline Turboguy

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Are American Men whipped?
« Reply #3 on: July 13, 2005, 06:17:18 AM »
I agree I am using extreame examples in asking this Ken.   However all the comments that I reference are basically what people here have said at this site.   I just got thnking about the differences in attitude and sitting around bored and trying to create a little controversy thought I would throw it out.    I personally think all our people are great and have outstanding motivations.

Offline ConnerVT

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Are American Men whipped?
« Reply #4 on: July 13, 2005, 06:55:29 AM »
TG, you make an interesting observation.  Although a bit extreme in your example, both scenarios are true, and not opposites of each other.  But it shows the change that takes place in a relationship.

Your first scenario is when people are in the courtship stage.  The second, is once you have truly moved into the commitment stage of the relationship.

In much of Russian literature, romance is depicted with a very strong man with an intense love building between them.  Remember, the opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference.  There is little of the cat and mouse games that people play in the West, the flirtatious "does he love me?" and acting hard to get.  People tend to let each other know what they feel.

In courting someone 4K+ miles away, it's even more difficult to play the hard to get game.  Things are so time compressed, you will be dead of old age before playing out that hand.  So if effectively counting on 'love at first sight', you need to stay along the lines of that scenario, Russian style.

In your second scenario, you are behaving as a committed couple.  You are acting as someone who wishes to show their love.  It's not that you worry you will be sent to the guest room without sex for leaving a dirty dish in the sink.  You are showing your passion for her by demonstrating your love to her, by thinking of her and making her life a good one.  In our situation, when a woman is leaving everything behind and trusting in the unknown, it is not one thing that you do that confirms to her she made the right decision.  It's the accumulation of many, many acts of consideration.

If your feelings towards her are true, you will do these things not because you are pussy whipped, but because of your feelings toward her.  In turn, you will never be nagged the way many AW will haunt you.  Most times, your woman wont say anything.  Or worse, will make what you will take as an off hand comment about her wishes, then you will find out later it's importance to her!  It is much better to be pro-active, and demonstrate your love.  Words are cheap, action speaks.

As I wrote above, indifference is the opposite of love.  For certain, a good relationship with a RW will never show indifference. 
« Last Edit: July 13, 2005, 06:58:00 AM by ConnerVT »

Offline Photo Guy

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Are American Men whipped?
« Reply #5 on: July 13, 2005, 07:16:36 AM »
TG, the opening post of this thread cracked me up.  LOL.

Here's another contradiction: RW appear to actually be different than AW, but some say they are not different. I get this impression from reading RWD:

In a relationship with a RW, you do things for your wife because you love and respect her. 'I want her to be happy so I do this'. And it also goes both ways. She loves and respects you too and wants you to be happy. You kiss her derriere and you both like it.

On the other hand, with an AW, there are often aggressive power trips. 'Vacuum the car because I asked (told) you to and I am the one in control here' -she may be thinking. The guy follows her instructions because there could be negative repercussions.

I guess I'm trying to say that in a relationship with an AW, there are more elements of power and control, than there is with a RW, where it is more about love and respect. It's an interesting subject.

To answer your question- Yes AM are, and maybe RW do have some magical power. Some cultures are superior to other cultures, not in general ways, but in specific ways. A European bed is more comfortable than sleeping on a dirt floor in a Navajo's hogan. Maybe RW are more 'magical' than AW.  :D
« Last Edit: July 13, 2005, 07:29:00 AM by Photo Guy »

Offline jb

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Are American Men whipped?
« Reply #6 on: July 13, 2005, 11:38:13 AM »
 Are American Men Pu$$y whipped?  Yes, most are.

However, you have asked this question of atypical AM, IMHO there's a huge difference between rolling over and playing dead just on the off chance you might get laid by an AW and attempting to overcome the culture shock the RW is going to go through when she arrives in the west.

There are some things a RW will not feel culturally comfortable with arriving in her new home, you had better get used to the idea that YOU bought the ticket for this ride.  Either you are prepared to get with the program or your going to have an unhappy lady on your hands.

It isn't a question of needing to kiss her ass, it's a matter of you uprooting someone and moving her, sans all her worldly possessions, into the unknown.  I think a little ass kissing is completely justified.

Offline NDOC

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« Reply #7 on: November 26, 2005, 02:05:32 PM »
As an owner/operator of a AM/RW marriage for nine years I've seen all kinds of marriages float through our circle of friends.  I can say that there is a wierd dynamic among RWs that starts once they get networked into their own community in the United States.  

The American Men in town use the term "Big Russian Girl on Campus" to describe it.  These girls spend hours on the phone with each other and what they are really doing is setting a "pecking" order.  The one with the most (beauty and financial resources) sets the bar.  If she is beautiful and has a "generous" husband she get points.  The girl at the top of the pecking order almost always has a new baby, a nice car, a new house and doesn't have to work.  If she has a "greedy" husband and has to work she loses points.  If you are "poor" as in "poor Natalie" (I can't count the number of times I've heard this expression) it means that you are married to a less successful or "greedy" American and you don't have a fancy house or car and the husband makes you work.  It also means you don't have status in their community, you don't get asked to their parties, and they don't call on the telephone as often.  At some point the "pecking" (the poor natalie talk) gets so bad that the girl may leave a good marriage just to improve her status in their community.  We've found that most AM/RW divorces are about moving up in the pecking order as the girls look for that elusive "rich wimp" that will let them drive a BMW or Mercades and sit at home while supervising the maid.

'Just my 2 cents

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Are American Men whipped?
« Reply #8 on: September 06, 2021, 11:35:14 AM »
It isn't a question of needing to kiss her ass, it's a matter of you uprooting someone and moving her, sans all her worldly possessions, into the unknown.  I think a little ass kissing is completely justified.

+1

Besides she might have a very kissable @ss
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Offline ML

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« Reply #9 on: September 07, 2021, 07:15:10 AM »
I remember reading on this site or previous ones, that someone wrote:

Russian women want a strong leader and will let the man be in charge, whereas Ukrainian women want to be in charge of the marriage.  And if you aren't a strong leader, the UW will take over.

I don't know about RW . . . but I can see that my UW wants to be in charge.
I have been in charge from day 1, but she is always pushing in low key ways to be the leader.
So far she always backs off when I speak forcefully about an issue, but it gets tiring to have to assert myself.

Note 1:  I am not a control freak and let her have complete control over many issues.  However, she would like to make decisions and assert control over issues that she has zero knowledge about or experience with.

Note 2:  Neither my UW nor my previous AW ever tried to use sex for control purposes.

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« Reply #10 on: September 07, 2021, 09:45:13 AM »
However, she would like to make decisions and assert control over issues that
she has zero knowledge about or experience with.

I laughed when I read this, that is not unique to UW. It must be great to
be an FSUW and to be experts at things they know nothing about.


FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Kiss the girl, don't ask her first.

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Are American Men whipped?
« Reply #11 on: September 07, 2021, 10:13:36 AM »
What readers should always remember when reading these types of thread is, each post is solely reliant in each person's perspective and their respective experiences. It is by no means representative of a whole. Especially if one considers that participants in this endeavor represent a very minor segment of each region/s.


The one thing I observed in this however is the AM's (involved in the MOB) ready submission to 'marrying' a woman with child/ren that the general male bachelor would never consider with local women. The general consensus being such as 'excess baggage', or fathering someone else's responsibility.


As for if men are PWs generally...that is directly relative to how much socially experience/exposure the men are or have had, IMO.
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Offline Boethius

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« Reply #12 on: September 09, 2021, 09:40:33 AM »
The women you are marrying chose to emigrate, so I don't get the need to worship her because of it.  In most cases, she will have a better standard of living than she could ever have in the FSU, although her inner world may not be as rich.


As for how RW vs UW view the head of the family, I disagree.  I think you can find all sorts of women in the FSU, just as you can in the West.
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Re: Are American Men whipped?
« Reply #13 on: September 10, 2021, 08:48:53 AM »
As for how RW vs UW view the head of the family, I disagree.  I think you can
find all sorts of women in the FSU, just as you can in the West.

To quote another member, "the biggest difference between Russian
and Ukrainian women is that Russian women will say Gamburger and
Ukrainian women will say hamburger"

Guys who make broad sweeping generalizations are generally wrong.

FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Kiss the girl, don't ask her first.

Online John Gaunt

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Re: Are American Men whipped?
« Reply #14 on: September 10, 2021, 10:45:37 PM »
What readers should always remember when reading these types of thread is, each post is solely reliant in each person's perspective and their respective experiences. It is by no means representative of a whole. Especially if one considers that participants in this endeavor represent a very minor segment of each region/s.


The one thing I observed in this however is the AM's (involved in the MOB) ready submission to 'marrying' a woman with child/ren that the general male bachelor would never consider with local women. The general consensus being such as 'excess baggage', or fathering someone else's responsibility.


As for if men are PWs generally...that is directly relative to how much socially experience/exposure the men are or have had, IMO.
Donít think this is necessarily true.
A bloke with children may think that a woman with children would be a better fit because she would understand better the burdens and responsibilities of raising children, than a woman with no children.

Offline Davo

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Re: Are American Men whipped?
« Reply #15 on: September 11, 2021, 03:08:48 PM »
Donít think this is necessarily true.
A bloke with children may think that a woman with children would be a better fit because she would understand better the burdens and responsibilities of raising children, than a woman with no children.

I fall into this category.... I have both young adult children and teenagers. If youíre a single father dating in your home country, then itís very likely youíll be dating single mothers too. Certainly in my experience and in some single fathers groups with US members thatís true....  At home I dated women with 1-3 children and even broke off a relationship with a younger woman with one child who wanted more and I didnít. I had a vasectomy for a reason .... Most childless FSU women Iíve talked to online want children and I couldnít think of anything worse than a new born baby at my age.

I can see GQís point.... Iím sure there are childless men who ďsettleĒ for women with children because for various reasons and itís obvious to see some donít compare with men who are obvious better catches, when trying to court FSU women in the more competitive young, single childless demographic..... For all men, searching for a single FSU mother, thereís some advantages during the online dating stage.... You double of even triple the women available to you. For a man with some obvious shortcomings (looks, age, social skills), heíll probably get a lot better reply rate and for a guy whoís confident and a good catch itís like shooting fish in a barrel. For him thereís less competition and more choice.... Obviously these advantages are offset by possible issues with the childrenís father and other issues once itís moved past the online stage and youíre in a real relationship.

Johns reply rings true with me. Iíve only spent time with single FSU mothers and being a single father myself thereís a connection thatís not there with childless women... I enjoy childrenís company and as I write this Iím sitting in a big quiet house, as my youngest children are with their mother this weekend.... It feels like Iím not whole, so It would be awesome to have another child permanently living here. For my children, I think it would be a wonderful experience having a step brother or sister from another culture and my youngest has already started to experience this when he online games with one of Kís children. Honestly at this stage of my life, I wouldnít even consider dating a childless woman, either at home or abroad.
« Last Edit: September 11, 2021, 03:15:41 PM by Davo »

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Re: Are American Men whipped?
« Reply #16 on: September 12, 2021, 12:15:40 PM »
Donít think this is necessarily true.
A bloke with children may think that a woman with children would be a better fit because she would understand better the burdens and responsibilities of raising children, than a woman with no children.

Most FSUW over a certain age have
1. A child or children
2. 6 abortions
3. A medical condition making them infertile or nearly so
4. Doesn't like or want sex
5. Lesbian

Which is best one to have? In most cases it would be number one

FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Kiss the girl, don't ask her first.

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Re: Are American Men whipped?
« Reply #17 on: September 12, 2021, 12:23:12 PM »
As for if men are PWs generally...that is directly relative to how much socially experience/exposure the men are or have had, IMO.

I think you are totally correct on this point. Self confidence/self worth is directly
related to how much or how little a man is PW. You can only be PW to the extent
that you allow it.

FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Kiss the girl, don't ask her first.

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Re: Are American Men whipped?
« Reply #18 on: September 13, 2021, 08:31:21 AM »
Most FSUW over a certain age have
1. A child or children
2. 6 abortions
3. A medical condition making them infertile or nearly so
4. Doesn't like or want sex
5. Lesbian

Which is best one to have? In most cases it would be number one
I donít think that all of them are necessarily true but certainly I would concur on number 1.

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Re: Are American Men whipped?
« Reply #19 on: September 13, 2021, 10:17:33 AM »
Abortion rates are still relatively high in Russia, but they are low in Ukraine (14.8/1,000, which is lower than in many Western countries).  Abortion rates dropped dramatically after the collapse of the USSR, when birth control pills became widely available.  Initially, there was a hesitancy to use birth control pills, but that's changed over time.


I am uncertain why a man would care how many abortions a woman has had, unless he wants children, and is concerned she may be infertile.
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Re: Are American Men whipped?
« Reply #20 on: September 13, 2021, 10:39:58 AM »
Most FSUW over a certain age have
5. Lesbian

I suppose this is a joke; but I don't think Lesbianism is age dependent.
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Offline ML

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Re: Are American Men whipped?
« Reply #21 on: September 13, 2021, 10:47:04 AM »
Most FSUW over a certain age have
4. Doesn't like or want sex

I didn't find this to be true, at least with the women I went on 3rd or more dates with.  Could have been many that didn't make it to that many dates that had little or no interest in sex.

There was one though that was a disappointment.  We had a lot of fun together on first 3-4 meetings with no sex.  Then on my last day in her city she came over to spend the night.  Sex was OK and she was proud of her 45 year old body saying it was because she had never had a baby.  She said she had only loved one man, and he was married, so she never got married herself.

But then she ruined everything when she said: 
I am not really interested in sex and am more spiritual !!

OMG

So obviously, I never met with her again.
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Re: Are American Men whipped?
« Reply #22 on: September 13, 2021, 11:34:45 AM »
Donít think this is necessarily true.
A bloke with children may think that a woman with children would be a better fit because she would understand better the burdens and responsibilities of raising children, than a woman with no children.


I was speaking rather more anecdotally/specifically about my own observations, and those from the many bachelors' general attitude about dating/marrying local women with child/ren here in the US.


It appears rather the opposite to the general 'attitude' of the American men searching in the FSU/MOB region and their *more* readily acceptance to women with child/ren.
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Re: Are American Men whipped?
« Reply #23 on: September 13, 2021, 03:00:15 PM »
I donít think that all of them are necessarily true but certainly I would concur on number 1.

I didn't find this to be true, at least with the women I went on 3rd or more dates with.  Could have been many that didn't make it to that many dates that had little or no interest in sex.

There was one though that was a disappointment.  We had a lot of fun together on first 3-4 meetings with no sex.  Then on my last day in her city she came over to spend the night.  Sex was OK and she was proud of her 45 year old body saying it was because she had never had a baby.  She said she had only loved one man, and he was married, so she never got married herself.

But then she ruined everything when she said: 
I am not really interested in sex and am more spiritual !!

OMG

So obviously, I never met with her again.


Guys, I wrote that wrong and I didn't proofread here is what I meant to say.

Most FSUW over a certain age have a child or children.
OR THEY HAVE/HAD/ARE
1. 6 abortions
2. A medical condition making them infertile or nearly so
3. Doesn't like or want sex
4. Lesbian

Which is best one to have? In most cases it would be having a child.
« Last Edit: September 13, 2021, 03:03:59 PM by 2tallbill »
FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Kiss the girl, don't ask her first.

Online 2tallbill

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Are American Men Pu$$y whipped?
« Reply #24 on: September 13, 2021, 03:25:27 PM »
I am uncertain why a man would care how many abortions a woman has had,
unless he wants children, and is concerned she may be infertile.


Most religions consider abortion as murdering a baby. Can you imagine anyone you
know marrying a man they know killed a 2 day old baby? Now, imagine if he did it
more than once.



A high-ranking Orthodox priest recently said that Russians were killing more of their
own through abortions than died during WWII. He also said that abortion in Russia is
ďworse than the Holocaust.1Ē

The Russian Orthodox Patriarch said 

"Action should be taken against "cynical principle" of sacrificing children's lives for
personal wellbeing"

"I've appealed to deputies several times to consider restricting abortion, and I've
seen some progress made in highlighting this evil" Unquote

1. http://europeanacademyofreligionandsociety.com/news/is-the-russian-orthodox-churchs-anti-abortion-stance-politically-helpful-for-putin/
2. http://www.thetablet.co.uk/news/6668/head-of-russian-orthodox-church-backs-abortion-ban-

FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Kiss the girl, don't ask her first.

 

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