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Author Topic: Women's Day -should I?  (Read 55377 times)

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Online Faux Pas

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Re: Women's Day -should I?
« Reply #200 on: May 16, 2011, 12:43:11 PM »
Thats not unusual. Keep in mind she is on vacation. Likely in high spirits and having a wonderful time. It's great you had an opportunity to experience that. It's not many AM that get to meet a RW for the first time on their own turf. However, don't delude yourself. While you've "hung out" together for 5 weeks it is still just a vacation. If there are a couple of things that have surfaced, thats actually a good thing. Nobody is perfect and she isn't either. Don't hold her up or expect complete perfection. It doesn't exist despite what you read here.


6 months is quite a commitment for you both. Was the first meeting that good?  :D  Sounds like a good thing going there Salty but keep those eyes wide open.


Offline Saltheart

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Re: Women's Day -should I?
« Reply #201 on: May 16, 2011, 01:00:35 PM »
It didn't feel like vacation actually...

Yes, the first trip went wonderfully.  The only reason she is even going home at all is so we have a little space/time to process this.  Further, it didn't feel like a first trip, the relationship felt exceptionally real/solid prior to meeting.  I needed about ten minutes upon actually meeting her to come to the conclusion that she was almost exactly like I had envisioned her over the previous months.  While it's been 5 weeks in the flesh it feels more like where I would be 8-9 months into a
Traditional relationship even though it's only been 4.  We're just gonna go with it and throw out how things should be or others peoples ideas of what's too fast or not.  Very happy.

Offline Gator

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Re: Women's Day -should I?
« Reply #202 on: May 16, 2011, 01:42:57 PM »
SH,
 
Congratulations!  You have done well.
 
About the next step - how about a trip to meet her family?  If she were an AW, you would do that, yes?

Offline ML

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Re: Women's Day -should I?
« Reply #203 on: May 16, 2011, 03:23:33 PM »
  She's exceedingly temperate and balanced overall . . . .

Ah.  Many of these women write in their profiles that they are 'balanced.'

Now at last someone has experienced this up close and in person.

So what does it mean Saltheart ?   8)
A beautiful woman is pleasant to look at, but it is easier to live with a pleasant acting one.

Offline Saltheart

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Re: Women's Day -should I?
« Reply #204 on: May 16, 2011, 09:58:13 PM »
Gator,

Yes, absolutely.  Due to some visa restrictions/issues on her part, I probably won't go to meet her family until near the end of the year which is when she would need to exit the country..., unless I go on my own to visit her family while she stays in the states which is a possibility actually.

ML - hah...good question... I suppose in this case I mean that she has this really healthy perspective on things, not too extreme in any of her views, yet strong in her convictions and values....willing to be flexible and adaptable, teachable yet just as able to teach.... can see the other perspective on things and overall puts things into context... passionate and reserved at the same time... she just feels very complete...emotionally and mentally sound... she's had some rough periods in her life like anyone else.. she's been divorced.. she's done a fair amount of dating...seems to know what she wants...deep, thoughtful but whimsical occasionally....mood is even and consistent....seems like a happy person, don't sense any drama-seeking stuff (what a relief)...  she's easily the most attractive/hottest bookworm I've ever met....(speaking of which, still shocked at how stunningly beautiful she is, it's just ridiculous) this is a girl who can dance, play classical piano, masters degree, successful career, self employed... love it!!

I guess I would call that balanced.  Me on the other hand...  hah :)

Offline Muzh

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Re: Women's Day -should I?
« Reply #205 on: May 17, 2011, 07:17:22 AM »
Thats not unusual. Keep in mind she is on vacation. Likely in high spirits and having a wonderful time. It's great you had an opportunity to experience that. It's not many AM that get to meet a RW for the first time on their own turf. However, don't delude yourself. While you've "hung out" together for 5 weeks it is still just a vacation. If there are a couple of things that have surfaced, thats actually a good thing. Nobody is perfect and she isn't either. Don't hold her up or expect complete perfection. It doesn't exist despite what you read here.


6 months is quite a commitment for you both. Was the first meeting that good?  :D  Sounds like a good thing going there Salty but keep those eyes wide open.

FP, you've just described who many AM feel when visiting there. And keep in mind they get engaged in less amount of time.  ;)  Salty is an exception, a very lucky exception.
 
So Salty, don't F**K it up!!! Doing good man.
To argue with a man who has renounced the use and authority of reason, and whose philosophy consists in holding humanity in contempt, is like administering medicine to the dead. Thomas Paine - The American Crisis 1776-1783

Online Faux Pas

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Re: Women's Day -should I?
« Reply #206 on: May 17, 2011, 06:39:37 PM »

FP, you've just described who many AM feel when visiting there. And keep in mind they get engaged in less amount of time.  ;)  Salty is an exception, a very lucky exception.
 
So Salty, don't F**K it up!!! Doing good man.


He's got it happening. I sense Salty is keeping the little head in check which is very difficult to do and still can't believe luck. It don't happen to guys like us. Even a blind squirrel finds a nut now and then. As great as his 5 weeks have been I only caution him on the 6 months deal. 6 months is a long time and he hasn't been on her turf yet. There is time for a little caution but I do agree, he's a very lucky fellow  ;D

Offline Saltheart

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Re: Women's Day -should I?
« Reply #207 on: May 18, 2011, 03:07:59 AM »

He's got it happening. I sense Salty is keeping the little head in check which is very difficult to do and still can't believe luck. It don't happen to guys like us. Even a blind squirrel finds a nut now and then. As great as his 5 weeks have been I only caution him on the 6 months deal. 6 months is a long time and he hasn't been on her turf yet. There is time for a little caution but I do agree, he's a very lucky fellow  ;D

Thanks for the kind words guys.

Little head is alive, well and healthy but definitely not in charge.  With that said, I do admit that being with someone of this caliber is unusual for me....I've been with some lovely women but never anyone like this.  Her photos were amazing but in person it's just other-worldly.... she's been quite the hit here that's for sure.  For whatever reason she seems absolutely crazy about me ...again, letting my cards show again too much here which I am freakishly prone to do... clearly my own issues, but it's just so perfect, so good, in ways i've simply never experienced (she's just SO different from other AW it's hard for me to express) that the dysfunctional part of me is waiting for the other shoe to drop.  We speak really openly about this stuff with each other, the fears, insecurities, etc... she's really drawn to how open I am I think...not sure she is used to it....  anyway, again, I tend to share too much.  I have a sneaking suspicion that I might marry this woman next summer.

SH

Offline Saltheart

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Re: Women's Day -should I?
« Reply #208 on: May 18, 2011, 04:14:59 AM »
I'm a little hopped up on Vicodin/Xanax tonight so forgive any goofy posts -- injured my back pretty badly today...  and again, forgive me for lumping so many different topics and essentially a mini TR in a non-TR thread but most of this experience has been shared in this post so far..  she has a Birth Day coming up, the day she comes back actually...  is there anything special about B-Days for Russian Women, anything that should be observed differently?

She wasn't too impressed with my iPad at first but has since grown very comfortable with it and I am thinking of maybe getting her an ipad 2... the low end modl (500 bucks I think)....oh, side story....

I've had this woman on El Paseo, Rodeo Drive, Pearl Street in Boulder CO and Newbury Street in Boston and wasn't able to get her to buy literally ANYTHING!!  Jeez... eventualy I was able to get her to accept a beautiful, traditional Irish sweater from a neat little shop in Boston, that and another cool sweater... she's so economical.  Anyway, thinking she might like the iPad...she's not a huge jewelry fan, likes things simple...  but gift aside, anything that you guys/gals do differently on a BDAY I should maybe be aware of?

Again, for reference, she is very westernized already so she more finds it endearing if anything if I try to reference something I've read re: Russian ways of doing things.....she does observe the "odd numbered flowers" thing btw lol...and she also admits that her doctor told her not to sit on a cold bench which we both found amusing....but what I mean is, the cultural differences I was expecting hasn't really been much of an issue in that way, but I would like to observe any traditions I might need to know...

Ok - I should probably sleep...thinking is a little loopy tonight lol...pains gone though :)

SH

Offline dbneeley

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Re: Women's Day -should I?
« Reply #209 on: May 18, 2011, 07:08:19 AM »
You asked about birthdays for FSUW.


In general, both men and women from the FSU consider birthdays a MUCH bigger deal than Americans tend to. They will generally know or have ready access to a list of birthdays of all their relatives, friends, co-workers and the various relatives of same.


Thus, you will score an extremely favorable impression if during her next visit you do a little something more than an eCard for anyone in your circle who is having a birthday.


And, of course, don't dare forgetting hers or her significant family's birthday. In fact, you may send her an email and tell her you are updating your birthday list and would appreciate the birthdays of her family members.


David

Offline scafidi454

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Re: Women's Day -should I?
« Reply #210 on: May 22, 2011, 08:30:02 AM »
Hi there, quick question.  I've been corresponding with a lovely lady this last month.  It is proceeding quickly and so far so good.  We both seem to like each other very much and despite the short period of time there's been something like 50,000 words written, not to mention IM and Skype.

My question is regarding Women's Day.  I would like to send her flowers.  She lives at home with her mom and younger sister (mid twenties)... I was wondering if I should send some flowers to them as well?  How would that be perceived do you think?  Also, bot entirely sure what type of flowers she likes...lol...that topic hasn't come up yet.  Also, should i include like a box of sweets, etc?

Thoughts?  Thanks :)


I sent my girlfriend flowers on Women's Day (March 8), without her knowing. However, all of her friends and sisters at home did :) - She loved it!

Offline Saltheart

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Re: Women's Day -should I?
« Reply #211 on: May 30, 2011, 10:18:49 PM »
Well, she is scheduled to come back in a couple of days for a 6 month run.  Being apart these last couple weeks has been difficult and yet it's been such a short time.  If this progresses further into deeper territory, I suspect the time when she has to leave the country and we go through visa process, etc., will be very, very difficult.  I can't think of that stuff right now though.  Feeling optimistic and glad she is almost back.

-SH

Offline Jumper

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Re: Women's Day -should I?
« Reply #212 on: May 30, 2011, 11:47:55 PM »
Great to hear SH!
Hope all continues on this path for you two :)


As far as birthdays, they are a bit bigger deal.
Traditionally a lot of people(friends/family)  over to her home,
or  it is possible all going  to a restaurant/ cafe.
So.. then a lot of food,a lot of beer and vodka, a lot of long elaborate and beautiful toasts to the health and welfare of the birthday person.
maybe some dancing.. rinse/repeat.

Reading that- it's not uch different than a US B-day party on *paper*.
hmm , but in experiencing it you'd understand a bigger deal is made, and more importance lent to the  day.

That said:
ask her what she'd like.
as small example:  My UW is certainly Ukrainian thru and thru, yet actually doesn't enjoy all the fanfare/hubub or the longish tradtional and frequent toasts..that are commonplace at most birthday bashes,
and much  prefers  a smaller gathering with less hustle and bustle,and without the toasts.(almost scariledge in the FSU :) )

So like everywhere in the world,people are of course individuals,
it's best way to find out the traditions,
but then ask her if she enjoys them , or prefers something else.
 
.

Offline Saltheart

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Re: Women's Day -should I?
« Reply #213 on: June 14, 2011, 01:46:13 PM »
Quick update:

Things continue to go very well.  Although we've only spent a total of 6-7 weeks in person together thus far it feels like a lot longer.  We're definitely still in the honeymoon phase but we both recognize it and are doing our best to see past it too in order to determine if we are going to go for it...which appears likely although we still have time.  Some issues popped up which she has done an amazing job of allaying some fears I had (some are aware of this) and I'm feeling  much better.  Her level of honesty while sometimes difficult to hear is incredibly refreshing.  I thought we were exceptionally close before she left, since her return she has really stepped it up a whole new level as this becomes more and more real for the two of us.  I'm doing my best to stay out of my own way :).  Starting to look into additional visa options (K1)  to prevent any downtime or unnecessary time apart if we decide to get married...which would probably happen in March 2012.

-Salty

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Re: Women's Day -should I?
« Reply #214 on: June 28, 2011, 08:38:04 PM »
I skipped to the end of the story to see what happened. Sounds like the flowers were a good idea. All of this gift-giving stuff is like gambling:  I don't expect to win anything and I don't spend money I can't afford to lose, but hey, if I win, great. I hope Lady Luck is on your side and wish you the best.
“The sewage is up to our necks already — whatever you do, don’t make waves.”-Michael Haneke

Offline scafidi454

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Re: Women's Day -should I?
« Reply #215 on: June 29, 2011, 11:15:33 AM »
Before you send flowers, be sure to research the color of flowers and their "meaning" when being given in Russia. Also, try to consider the woman's personality, if you can, to determine the best arrangement to send. I also suggest having someone translate some phrase into Russian for the floral card (if you feel comfortable having this done). From my point of view, women receiving flowers in Russia are very happy about this (because flowers are expensive to buy and have delivered for most Russians). 

Offline Muzh

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Re: Women's Day -should I?
« Reply #216 on: June 29, 2011, 11:59:26 AM »
Before you send flowers, be sure to research the color of flowers and their "meaning" when being given in Russia. Also, try to consider the woman's personality, if you can, to determine the best arrangement to send. I also suggest having someone translate some phrase into Russian for the floral card (if you feel comfortable having this done). From my point of view, women receiving flowers in Russia are very happy about this (because flowers are expensive to buy and have delivered for most Russians).




Excellent advice.
To argue with a man who has renounced the use and authority of reason, and whose philosophy consists in holding humanity in contempt, is like administering medicine to the dead. Thomas Paine - The American Crisis 1776-1783

Offline mies

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Re: Women's Day -should I?
« Reply #217 on: July 03, 2011, 10:19:27 AM »
Before you send flowers, be sure to research the color of flowers and their "meaning" when being given in Russia. Also, try to consider the woman's personality, if you can, to determine the best arrangement to send. I also suggest having someone translate some phrase into Russian for the floral card (if you feel comfortable having this done). From my point of view, women receiving flowers in Russia are very happy about this (because flowers are expensive to buy and have delivered for most Russians).

the "flower rules" are really very simple.
1) odd number of stems (whichever flower it is)
2) red roses
3) if you don't want to send roses - send orchids.
4) better do not to get bouquets - florists may use flowers of lower quality/value in them.

that's all.


To elaborate:
color:
red  - any woman will be happy with red flowers.
pink and white - for friends, relatives.
yellow - usually means jealousy and breakup, some people interpret is as passion (but not many).

> carnation and mumps are men's flowers.
> lilies are often used at cemeteries and associated with mourning, although some women like them. but they also are very fragrant, so many women don't want them because of their smell.
> tulips are considered too simple and common.

There are few more flower types commonly found in flower boutiques and delivery services in FSU, but i'd advise stick to roses or orchids to be on a safe side.



Offline Saltheart

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Re: Women's Day -should I?
« Reply #218 on: July 07, 2011, 10:11:31 PM »
Update:

Things continue to go great - we've been together almost 3 months now consecutively.  To say we are in love, happy and excited is very accurate.  We are filing for a K1 in about 2 weeks or so.   I'm starting to look into some arrangements in Mexico to kill some of the downtime after December to keep our time apart to a minimum.

Learning some Russian - enjoying that very much.  Have the alphabet down and starting to read which is fun.

Anyway, all in all - looking great! 

-Salty

Offline Gator

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Re: Women's Day -should I?
« Reply #219 on: July 08, 2011, 06:47:46 AM »
Salty,
 
Congratulations on your engagement.
 
Mexico may indeed be important.  A POE officer will see in his computer that she is named as a beneficiary in a K-1 petition.  The officer may decide to not allow her to enter the US under a tourist visa.  If she is arriving from Mexico, it is a short turnaround trip.   
 
Another option is to marry now, and remain here while filing for an adjustment of status using an I-130.  Before deciding on that path, consult with an immigration attorney because there are suboptions and implications. 
 
Important:  read visajourney.
 

Offline Saltheart

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Re: Women's Day -should I?
« Reply #220 on: August 13, 2011, 09:21:40 PM »
Salty,
 
Congratulations on your engagement.
 
Mexico may indeed be important.  A POE officer will see in his computer that she is named as a beneficiary in a K-1 petition.  The officer may decide to not allow her to enter the US under a tourist visa.  If she is arriving from Mexico, it is a short turnaround trip.   
 
Another option is to marry now, and remain here while filing for an adjustment of status using an I-130.  Before deciding on that path, consult with an immigration attorney because there are suboptions and implications. 
 
Important:  read visajourney.

Met with an immigration attorney - she strongly advised that we marry while she is here on the B2 and file for an AOS.  She says she has never had one denied.

So - we're getting married (courthouse deal) October 1st and planning the big one in March.

 :clapping:

One of these days I'll post the details of all of this, but these last 4 months of being together in person have been truly remarkable.

There is of course the chance the interview goes bad...

Not sure yet what I'll do then.... bad things happen if it goes poorly.  Sigh.  My attorney thinks there are a couple challenges to it but nothing that can't be overcome.  *crosses fingers*

-Salty

Offline Boethius

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Re: Women's Day -should I?
« Reply #221 on: August 15, 2011, 10:54:32 AM »
Congratulations.  I wish you many happy years.
After the fall of communism, the biggest mistake Boris Yeltsin's regime made was not to disband the KGB altogether. Instead it changed its name to the FSB and, to many observers, morphed into a gangster organisation, eventually headed by master criminal Vladimir Putin. - Gerard Batten

Offline Muzh

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Re: Women's Day -should I?
« Reply #222 on: August 15, 2011, 11:37:54 AM »
Hey Salty, I just read the news!!
 
Congratulations. You guys look great together.
 
Bon Chance
To argue with a man who has renounced the use and authority of reason, and whose philosophy consists in holding humanity in contempt, is like administering medicine to the dead. Thomas Paine - The American Crisis 1776-1783

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Re: Women's Day -should I?
« Reply #223 on: October 14, 2024, 08:40:45 AM »
Hi there, quick question.  I've been corresponding with a lovely lady this last month.  It is proceeding quickly and so far so good.  We both seem to like each other very much and despite the short period of time there's been something like 50,000 words written, not to mention IM and Skype.

My question is regarding Women's Day.  I would like to send her flowers.  She lives at home with her mom and younger sister (mid twenties)... I was wondering if I should send some flowers to them as well?  How would that be perceived do you think?  Also, bot entirely sure what type of flowers she likes...lol...that topic hasn't come up yet.  Also, should i include like a box of sweets, etc?

Thoughts?  Thanks :)

She is a pen pal. If you want more get on a plane, rent an apartment chase her around with
her panties on your head. If everything works out then you send her flowers when the next
March 8th rolls around.

FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Just kiss the girl, don't ask her first. Tolerate NO excuses!

 

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