Update - 13 years later

[Shadow]

Congratulations Northkape. As Norway is not part of the EU there is no quick fix for this. Just sit it out, keep your paperwork in order and be sure to know your rights.

[ML]

North this, as you posted seemed like a good avenue.

"If she and her daughter came here on a Schengen Visa, they would be allowed to stay in Norway, while their applications would be processed in parallel."

So is that the part of the plan that didn't work out, for one reason or another?

[Shadow]

North this, as you posted seemed like a good avenue.

"If she and her daughter came here on a Schengen Visa, they would be allowed to stay in Norway, while their applications would be processed in parallel."

So is that the part of the plan that didn't work out, for one reason or another?

ML, Northkape can answer it better but I presume he was caught out by Norway not being a member of the EU, even is they are member of Schengen. Within the EU she would have been able to remain as spouse while the paperwork was processed, however for Norway other rules may apply.
I do not know if Norway signed the European Treaty for Human Rights as there could be an escape clause there that grants people the right to a normal family life.

[fathertime]

Hey NK,


Very nice pictures.  I'm glad things are still going good for you all. 


Fathertime!   

[northkape]

Thanks for all the nice words,, smiles

I will try to explain a little….
What follows is only a small start, on a summary of the troubles we had to go through in the last two months of 2014.
 
"If she and her daughter came here on a Schengen Visa, they would be allowed to stay in Norway, while their applications would be processed in parallel."

Problem was that I mentioned a future family reunion in the Schengen Tourist Visa application.
Then of course, it was automatically rejected,, because they need to be sure she would return to Ukraine
We appealed, and discussed the case at length with the head of the visa section in the Norwegian Embassy in Kiev.
After 7 days of us waiting, they decided to let the Norwegian Immigration Department make the final decision.
At that time, I had no choice but to go home,,,,
because of all the difficulties I had made for Lena and my boys at home, by being away longer than we had agreed about.
On top of this, I had created a very unpleasant situation for Tanya and her young daughter.
Tanya had moved out of her apartment with all her belongings, taken her daughter out of school and activities, and ended the relationship with her partners at AngelFactory.
I felt like leaving her and her daughter stranded on a barren island with nowhere to go.
And our plan to marry had failed also, in the days before applying for the visa,,,

More to follow later......

[ML]

Hey North, I was shocked to read your last posting.

Unless I am not understanding . . . you and Tanya together decided that she would:   move out of her apartment with all her belongings, take her daughter out of school and activities, and end the relationship with her partners at Angel Factory

. . . .

all at a point BEFORE YOU AND SHE HAD OBTAINED A VISA FOR HER TO EVEN VISIT IN NORWAY !!!!!!!

This is not the modus operandi of the North that we have read about here over the past several months and years.

What gives here ?????

[fathertime]

Thanks for all the nice words,, smiles

I will try to explain a little….
What follows is only a small start, on a summary of the troubles we had to go through in the last two months of 2014.
 
"If she and her daughter came here on a Schengen Visa, they would be allowed to stay in Norway, while their applications would be processed in parallel."

Problem was that I mentioned a future family reunion in the Schengen Tourist Visa application.
Then of course, it was automatically rejected,, because they need to be sure she would return to Ukraine
We appealed, and discussed the case at length with the head of the visa section in the Norwegian Embassy in Kiev.
After 7 days of us waiting, they decided to let the Norwegian Immigration Department make the final decision.
At that time, I had no choice but to go home,,,,
because of all the difficulties I had made for Lena and my boys at home, by being away longer than we had agreed about.
On top of this, I had created a very unpleasant situation for Tanya and her young daughter.
Tanya had moved out of her apartment with all her belongings, taken her daughter out of school and activities, and ended the relationship with her partners at AngelFactory.
I felt like leaving her and her daughter stranded on a barren island with nowhere to go.
And our plan to marry had failed also, in the days before applying for the visa,,,

More to follow later......

Hey NK your post is a little confusing.


Fathertime!

[Seekrr15]

This story reads like Swiss Cheese - way way too many holes in it. 

[BillyB]

This story reads like Swiss Cheese - way way too many holes in it. 

Welcome the forum Seekrr. Don't believe what you're reading is possible?

[Faux Pas]

Hey NK your post is a little confusing.


Fathertime!

FT, please try to stay in context with North's story. English isn't his first language although he does speak it very well. Even though his syntax sounds correct if you've followed the post, it isn't what he meant. Perhaps "I felt like I was leaving them"

you're welcome 

[The Natural]

FT, please try to stay in context with North's story. English isn't his first language although he does speak it very well. Even though his syntax sounds correct if you've followed the post, it isn't what he meant. Perhaps "I felt like I was leaving them"

you're welcome 

Now, here we've got a real journalist, hehe. Faux Pas seems to be on the right track here 

[Seekrr15]

Welcome the forum Seekrr. Don't believe what you're reading is possible?

Thank you. And no, I don't.
Call me cynical, but in the 28 pages of this saga, I can't see how one gets to this point and isn't able to leave UA due to no arrangement of the Visa process?  NK is right back where he started. Above all, the current marriage/relationship sounds truly bizarre.  If all is true as it's relayed, think of the time, money, & energy spent.  You tell me.
I keep wondering of his rear-view mirror moment that inevitably hits all of us. Was it all worth it? 
But I must say, it's been a learning  experience to follow his roller coaster ride, and the ensuing comments, whether valid or not.
No matter, I'm here to learn, above all; not to judge or critique.

[BillyB]

You tell me.

I've seen a lot happen on the forum and one can imagine the things that don't get disclosed here. Anything is possible. NK usually takes a break between posts and he said he'll be back to write more and maybe address your thoughts.

[northkape]

Sorry for not updating,,,,,,,,,
Tanya and Sofia (her daughter) have been here in Norway with me for almost two weeks now.

I will write a more detailed report about how I was able to circumvent the rules of the Norwegian immigration department later. Now she and her daughter can stay here legally forever, whatever the result of our family reunion application at the Norwegian immigration department.

Except for some crazy/funny "roadblocks" in the first couple of days,,,,
Like me forgetting to remove the wedding photos of me and Lena in our main bedroom,,,,
Everything else has been silky smooth and very nice in our new family.

My house is only halfway finished on the inside, with tools and building materials everywhere, buried in dust and spiderweb. While I have been doing most of the cooking, she has been cleaning every inch of the house. Everything that can be cleaned, all clothes, cabinets, windows, and even the building materials / tools......

Last weekend, Lena called Tanya, and asked to stay with us and boys from Saturday morning till evening. Tanya said yes, and we all had a nice day together, with them chatting and laughing together several times during her stay with us. Maybe exchanging jokes about me,,,,, smile.

This weekend, boys are in Oslo with Lena.

More later

[ML]

Holy crap North . . .

You and your 'family' could have a reality show here in USA. :-)

Maybe compete with the Kardashians.

Were you also married to someone else before Lena?

If so, please have all three of them stay with you for a weekend and report back here.

Pretty exciting stuff.

[Gator]

Sorry for not updating,,,,,,,,,
Tanya and Sofia (her daughter) have been here in Norway with me for almost two weeks now.

Excellent.

My house is only halfway finished on the inside, with tools and building materials everywhere, buried in dust and spiderweb. While I have been doing most of the cooking, she has been cleaning every inch of the house. Everything that can be cleaned, all clothes, cabinets, windows, and even the building materials / tools......

This does not surprise any of the married men at RWD.

Last weekend, Lena called Tanya, and asked to stay with us and boys from Saturday morning till evening. Tanya said yes, and we all had a nice day together, with them chatting and laughing together several times during her stay with us. Maybe exchanging jokes about me,,,,, smile.

Now that is a surprise!  I don't know about the other married men, but this would never happen in our home. 

The closest was visits to see my newly born granddaughter when the mother of the father (my older son) was also there.  My RW wife got caught up in the joy of the event so while she exchanged no words with my -ex, I did not have to be diplomatic. 

[northkape]

Some replies first

ML,,
There was a logical explanation for the chosen path, that unfortunately ended with a Visa rejection, because of a stupid small mistake.

Tanya is a social and open woman with a lot of very good friends.
One of her closest friends let us live together with her family in her apartment for the next two weeks.
And to help us further, she let Tanya and Sofia live there for the next 4 months till I was able to get a Visa for them.
Wow, that's friendship I couldn't easily find here at home.
About incredible Visa stunts later......

FT,,
"I felt like leaving her and her daughter stranded on a barren island with nowhere to go."
Still sounds good to me, but maybe easier to understand if I say it like this:
I had the feeling that I was leaving Tanya and her daughter stranded on a barren island with nowhere to go.
(similar to what FP suggested)

Seekr,,
True stories are often "unbelievable",,, smile
Yes, it's all worth it,, for me!
A loving female life partner is for me, in many ways, the most important addition to my life, and as valuable as my own life and happiness.

BillyB
Yes, absolutely correct

ML
Yes, Holy Crap,
but still exactly what I wanted to achieve,, smile

Gator
Tanks for the encouraging words,,,

And now,,,, Sun shining into our lives…….


Time just flies away,,,,,,,,,,,
Tanya was 33 this week, I'm 60 next week!
It has been more than a year since I first met with Tanya for a cup of of coffee outside Kiev.
At that time, I was driving back to Borispol Airport, after a somewhat disappointing weekend dating trip.
Seeing that I had an hour or two available before my flight home, I started calling random girls on my list from Kiev for a short meeting.
Tanya, whom I had been writing with for a couple of weeks, said yes to a cup of coffee close to where she was living, 20 minutes away from Borispol.
She knew very little English and didn’t look good on her photos, but she wrote interesting letters, so I wanted to see her.
(happened halfway down on page 24 in this thread)

Now she has been living here for a month already, with smooth sailing in calm waters for us, this far.
Day by day, every little piece of the puzzle is falling nicely, one by one, into its place.

Last summer, I was a little worried about how to handle Sofia (Tanya’s now 12 year old daughter).
It proved to be wasted energy,
after she arrived here in Norway, I have become the "Hero" of her life.
All of her finicky puberty problems stays between Tanya and her.
For me it’s only hugs and smiles. (yes,, Tanya is grinding her teeth in despair)

Sofia started directly in regular school a week after arriving here, without knowing any English or Norwegian at all. 
Before starting, she was afraid and crying, with Tanya (and Tanya's mother) worried almost to death. 
School suggested waiting, for having a Russian speaking teacher support her on her first days.
After a meeting with her main teacher, I decided to let her jump directly into it the very next day.
When me and Tanya returned to school a couple of hours later, for checking what had happened,,,,,
Sofia was too busy with her new friends, to even have time for talking with me and Tanya.

Sofia has been training "Rhythmic gymnastics» in Ukraine 3-4 hours a day, 4-5 days a week since 4 year old.
I didn’t even know what kind of sport it is, but I had searched for it, and found that there is active group of girls in my hometown.
This turned out to be one of the most active groups in Norway, and within walking distance of my office,,, just great.
And all of the trainers are young girls from former FSU, speaking Russian of course.
For Sofia this has been fantastic, she is almost a "star" already for her age group, really boosting her self confidence.

Lena has been together with us three weekends, and so far no problems.
Here is a photo of my family, including Lena from a Sunday last month, when our boys were playing a football match in my hometown.



Tanya’s English has gone from almost nothing to very good during the last year, and she and Sofia are now busy studying Norwegian.

At the end of last summer, I made sure she had her drivers license along with extra training hours in Ukraine.
But this was all done within a month, and is mostly forgotten now, so there is still a long way to go before I can let her on her own.
Now she has started training a little almost every evening in places without traffic, sometimes on her own, at other times together with me.
Later she will have to pass a regular Norwegian drivers license test after taking a full mandatory package of courses.
(close to 1 year and 6-8 K US dollars)
She told me a few days ago, that she has former driving experience in Ukraine, but without a drivers license.
A few months before meeting with me, she had parted with the man she had been living together with for the last 8 years.
When living in Melitopol, before moving to Kiev, this man was often drinking too much when going to business meetings in neighbor cities.
Then Tanya would confiscate his keys, and wait for him to fall asleep, before dragging him into their car and driving home herself.
Often as much as two hours away from Melitopol, but their car had automatic transmission, here she needs to learn stick shift.

Most of all she wants to start working as quickly as possible, but I’m pushing driving and more language for a few weeks more.
She was self employed and a small business owner all her life in Ukraine,,,, she will be the same here.
I have a lot of free space in my office building, and I have made a nice webpage for her business.
With the help of of Google Adwords she will have work from day one, when starting.
She is fully aware of my present difficult financial situation, so she feels unable to ask me for any money at all, and is also not using my credit card.

Luckily she and Sofia share wardrobe and all cosmetics,,,,,,, so they have stock to burn,, smile

Ahhh,, had another crazy disaster a week ago…
Tanya received one of my older laptops for Internet use when arriving here, then Wifi stopped working on it.
Pressed for time the next morning, I gave her one of my two laptops to use for the day, and my boys russified it for her.
When returning home she was icy cold all evening,,, with no explanation…
I knew there was something wrong, so I asked Sofia, with boys as interpreters..
On the desktop of this laptop there is a map named "Dating".
Inside this map there are a lot of maps named: "lovely Ira",, "cute Anna",, and similar,
Maps containing correspondence and photos of the girls (and me together with some of them) that I dated in Ukraine in the year before finding Tanya.
Well, Tanya is a reasonable woman, and after the ice had melted the next morning, it’s seems to be a hopefully forgotten chapter in our book.

And last but not least
With both of us being so fortunate,, to once again live and feel like rabbits, I can just hope for it to be a long lasting experience :-)

Yes,,, with the sun shining again, comes warm memories from last summer



More later

[Boethius]

Tanya looks happy, Sofia looks happy, even Lena looks happy.  However, your boys don't.

[ML]

Hi North, very nice write up.  Thanks  for taking to time to answer all the questions and give an update on what is happening.

Thanks for posting the pics also.  Great looking group of people.

And I wouldn't read to much into how an individual or two looks in a group pic.  It is awfully hard to get everybody smiling or looking presentable at the same time in a group picture.

[ML]

With both of us being so fortunate,, to once again live and feel like rabbits, I can just hope for it to be a long lasting experience :-)

In Norwegian lingo, just what does it mean to 'live and feel like rabbits?'

Something different from USA lingo?

[northkape]

Received a PM asking about what happened lately, so I decided to do a quick update, 16 years later…

Me and Tanya are still doing great, we have a truly loving relationship, and it’s getting better all the time.
She still falls asleep with her head on my shoulder, curled up closely to me, every night.
Of course there has been some bumps in the road,,, every now and then, but nothing serious.
The most difficult part has been her strained relationship with my boys, developing slowly after the summer last year.
As “scary" close twins, they are like married, and rather introvert. They ignore and also don’t “appreciate” what Tanya do for them.
I have tried to explain, and she understands, but I see that she finds their "lack of appreciating" very uncomfortable in daily life.
This has chilled her relationship with Lena considerably, as she somehow considers them to belong to Lena, and not to our family.
It reached sort of a climax a couple of months ago, before she probably decided herself to try turning it around.
I work continuously with correcting my boys on one side, and with her on the other side, to smoothen the conflicts.
She sees this also, and slowly with time, like a year or two into the future, I think it will all be resolved.   
Her English has improved a lot, but misunderstandings are still a part of our daily life.
Learning Norwegian will be a long and slow process for her, but I’m not pressing on her. For now, English is almost equally important.
At the end of last year, she finally got her own business up and running, and is doing very well already.
Her lack of language scares away some customers, but most recognize her talent and wants to buy from her.

She had her own car, along with control of every aspect of her daily life almost from day one, when coming here.
And now, finally with economical independence, derived from her flourishing business venture, I see her "glowing of joy"
In the first eight months living here, she used less than 250 USD from my credit card for personal things.
Instead of buying new clothes for her and her daughter, she cut apart older clothes and sewed new outfits from them, and also repairing everything possible herself.
In the photo below, she made both the beautiful competition dress, and her own star outfit in this way, from cut apart older clothes.

Her daughter is also doing well,,,
Being a star in the local rhythmic gymnastics competitions, sure boosts her self confidence.



Now, when looking back at the last three years,,,
I see clearly, that my vision of a new future with a new woman, and the executing of my plans to get there, worked out close to perfect for me.
One year to find the right (slim, good looking, smart, educated, ambitious, hard working) single young mother with a single child close to the age of my boys.
And then one year to get to know her, before marrying and getting her here.
Not only did I find such a woman, as this thread shows, but several that I probably could have married and been happy with.

I have tried to keep in touch with three of those other Ukraine women that I met several times and also lived together with.
Kiev32 didn’t answer my Christmas greetings this year (Tanya says she is sorry for loosing me), but she is stil active in search on several dating sites.
Kirhovorad32 also didn’t answer my Christmas greetings this year, she kept in touch till last year about marrying in Australia, but I never heard anything more.
Kiev33 is always answering and is still searching for a man.

Tanya and most of those women I met with were looking primarily for a Ukraine / Russian man.
Out of those three above, only Kirhovorad32, was looking explicitly for a foreign man.

So much more could have been told,
See you all,,,, later….

[Shadow]

Thanks for the update and keep working on the relationship with those guys. Eventually they will get it.

[Sous02]

Very nice story to read. Very happy for you all and I am sure it is only a matter of time before the boys settle.

[ML]

Hi North,

Thanks for the update; glad I gave you a little 'poke.'

[dragonkid]

Oh . . . bla, bla, bla.

We don't have to be dishonest here.

Of course we guys want to impress friends.

A big satisfaction for me is knowing how jealous other guys are.
I know they are saying . . . how the he!! did he get her; and why can't I have someone like her.  I know because the truthful ones tell me.

And the honest gal's know what the plan is also.

The honest gals will say:  Everything we do (in terms of appearance) is for men.

Come on men . . . man up here.  A feminine side may be OK, but let's don't overdo it.

Too right




When i first saw this woman, i didn't think she was legit. Asked me to add her on fb, see her pic get 500+ likes, she has an Instagram following of 20k followers, 1k likes+ per pic. All that is going through my mind is how many guys want her, but i have the chance to get her. Funny thing is, after talking to her, she sounds nothing like your typical Russian model, she is down to earth, and talks openly. I learnt to never judge a woman by her looks, just because she is a professional model, doesn't mean she is shallow.