Some questions

[smsmsmsm]

Yes, I met with Globetrotter last Saturday. My favorite food is Ethiopean, so I took him there to share with him what I like. We had a great time and I enjoyed the conversation. Globetrotter is truly a global person, travelling all over the place. He has lived in more than fifty countries in the world. I was and still am very impressed with his worldliness. He has met and dated women from different countries and different cultures. He is at ease with himself and has a sense of confidence. Something he said has stuck with me these past few days. He is dating a woman, who happens to be a Russian. After dinner, he gave me a ride home. As we approached the car, he held me by my arm and walked me across the street. I said, "You are such a gentleman!" To put it simply, I enjoyed the respect, attention, and consideration I received from him. Some feminists might criticize him for being too condenscending, too protective, and too conservative. I don't. I see him as someone who is polite, respectful, and sensitive to people from different cultures. Am I not a feminist then? I still am. There are different kinds of feminism and there are different kinds of feminists. I happen to be one who embraces femininity and sexiness, who does not feel objectified by attention, and who thinks raising children is one of the most important jobs in the world. Feminism is about "equality" between sexes and among people. Of course, what does equality mean? That is another topic by itself. My point is that, if men on this board are stereotyped, then feminism and feminists also suffer from stereotypes and generalization.           

Photo Guy, you questioned what my finished product would be. I have been communicating with quite a few people here. I have to say I have learned quite a bit from them. People pursue foreign women for different reasons. Some because they are worldly and enjoy experiencing different cultures. Some want to expand the pool of selection. Others have no luck with local personals or dating American women just like me or anybody else (no luck with local women does not mean that one is a loser). There are also others who stumble upon Russian women and become intrigued by their intelligence and beauty. There are those who just want to find a good partner to spend their lives with. There are as many liberals as there are conservatives. There are more differences than commonalities among the men I have communicated with. I guess what I am trying to say is that while there is truth to stereotypes, stereotypes cannot be generalized. I am not interested in generalizing, which my discipline requires me to do. Mind you, my work has never been mainstream mainly because i don't think like a mainstream. I am interested in differences within a community of people. The variations and the uniqueness of individuals....... In other words, the path through which people decide to pursue relationships outside the boundary of the United States is what I am looking for.

I hope you can understand that this is a learning process for me as much as a research process.

Ada

 

[Gator]

Ada,

Brilliant!  You said much, and now I understand you much better.

[Bruce]

I second Gator on that one.  Well spoken  .

[Jumper]

Ada well said-

on this part  -

I happen to be one who embraces femininity and sexiness, who does not feel objectified by attention, and who thinks raising children is one of the most important jobs in the world. Feminism is about "equality" between sexes and among people. Of course, what does equality mean? That is another topic by itself. My point is that, if men on this board are stereotyped, then feminism and feminists also suffer from stereotypes and generalization

I will say , are you sure you arn't Russian? 

You could easily be describing a typical woman from the FSU.


Also, a key reason many FSU women look abroad is to find both security and equality in thier home relationship.
and I will tell you my wife, and any other women I have dated in eastern europe, expect any "normal man" to open doors, take her arm, pull her chair, or handle her coat..etc etc
all without feeling less of an individual for it,or objectified.
In fact likely feeling more self assured and confident.
To most of them, that just the way it is and should be.
A man not acting this way , would just be thought of as crude or not normal behaviour.
Cultural differences?


For myself,  the cultural differences arn't a big part of the equation.
 Of course i'm a bit crude and unpolished..so a woman from the FSU would not typically be a good match..