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Author Topic: Some thoughts  (Read 6541 times)

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Offline smsmsmsm

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Some thoughts
« on: November 28, 2006, 08:53:57 AM »
Hi all,

For some reasons, I am having problem posting. The posting seems to be erased. My apology for this.

Wow! I am overwhelmed. I have to digest some of the thoughts that have been expressed here. I guess I would like to ask questions again. By the way, don't be annoyed by my questions. That is my job as a researcher.

First of all, I don't deny I am a feminist. However, there are many kinds of feminisms. It is dangerous to generalize feminism as a whole. I have read quite a bit of critiques about MOB issue. Yet, I am not particular satisfied about the oppressor/victim analysis. This implies that men who seek foreign wives are dominant or women who seek foreign husbands have no agency. I think the crosscultrual dating is more complex that that. Having said that, I do have some questions I have been thinking about. I hope my questions do not offend anyone. I am simply playing the devil's advocate here.

I. People have used MOB term and most of you would probably object to this particular term. What term would you use to describe this? International or cross border dating and marriage? Transnational dating and marriage? What term do you think best describe this?

II. Some critiques indicate that the interest in Asian women or Russian women is a form of fetishism. It is based on the steretypes and myths about Asian women and Russian women. I think the interest in Russian women is a recent phenomenon and is tied to the geopolitics in Eastern Europe. I would think that people here have different reasons to pursue Russian women. My question would be why russian women appeal to you particularly.

III. People have argued that the communication with Russian women is no diffferent from internet dating, such as e-harmony, match.com, etc. What are your thoughts on this? Is there a difference or is it similar?

Well, three questions for now. I am really interested in your thoughts. Thank you so much for replying to my post.

Ada

Offline KenC

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Re: Some thoughts
« Reply #1 on: November 28, 2006, 09:24:07 AM »
Ada,
Might I suggest you only post once in a section you choose instead of making the same post in multiple sections?  This post was also made in "odds and ends" section.  Don't worry, those that wish to respond will find your single post.
KenC

(I answered your questions in the other section)
« Last Edit: November 28, 2006, 10:02:48 AM by KenC »
You are a den of vipers and thieves-Andrew Jackson on banks
Banking establishments are more dangerous than standing armies-Thomas Jefferson

Offline Admin

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Re: Some thoughts
« Reply #2 on: November 28, 2006, 09:32:01 AM »
Hi all,

For some reasons, I am having problem posting. The posting seems to be erased. My apology for this.



No, it was not erased - I simply moved it to a more appropriate forum. Please read each board title, and there is a small statement of THAT board's purpose. You will notice the Introduction board is NOT intended for ongoing discourse (or research).

As there is no board specifically established for that purpose, your follow-up post (after your initial introduction) was placed in the Odds and Ends board..

- Dan

Online 2tallbill

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Re: Some thoughts
« Reply #3 on: December 12, 2006, 01:23:21 AM »
I would like to know more of your definition of feminism.

If you say that equal work for equal pay then I am a feminist
If you say equal opportunity for advancement for equal skills then I am a feminist

BUT if you say man = woman
or   if you say woman = man then I disagree
In math terms I believe we are congruent.
Equal which means exactly the same
Congruent means possibly different but with the same value

I say we are apples and oranges
or Venus and Mars

I like apples and oranges. There are mushy apples or bitter oranges.
There are sweet firm apples and sweet tasty oranges. 

I agree with you that there are many different types of feminists.

Also I think that you should read many posts on this forum and not just the responses to yours.
I read this and many other forums as well.  If you really want to understand this then you will find an
incredible amount of raw information. To me the most interesting reports on this forum are the trip reports.
If you truly are unbiased and want to really understand what men are looking for on this and other forums
read these reports.You will find a ton of information on the other categories as well.

Good luck with your research.

I will try to answer some of your other questions after you answer some of mine

Bill
FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Just kiss the girl, don't ask her first. Tolerate NO excuses!

Offline Turboguy

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Re: Some thoughts
« Reply #4 on: December 12, 2006, 05:23:00 AM »
I guess we all have our own ideas about what a feminist is.   I think I am smack dab in the middle.   I believe in equal pay for equal work and I believe a woman is equal to a man in all her rights but I still like a woman who acts like a woman.

I think another of the factors that make Russian women much more appealing than AW is that they pay much more attention to you.   When you have one who really cares about you they seem like they are totally with you.  I find this hard to put into words but you are more than just an object in the room with them they have a way of making you feel more involved, like they are interested in you and care what you think and feel and that you are important to them.  I don't get that with AW. 


Offline wxman

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Re: Some thoughts
« Reply #5 on: December 12, 2006, 08:26:20 PM »
I agree that equal work should equate to equal pay regardless of gender. Are there glass ceilings? Of course. They exist in male dominated fields as well as in female dominated fields. Should women be treated as equal when it comes to opportunities, rights, education, etc. Yes. The problem with so many AW is they try so hard not to be equal with men, but to prove they are better than men. Just look at most American tv shows and commercials which portray men as incompetant or fools and women as more intelligent. The word woman to many feminists is an insult, as is implies in their mind, they are less than a man. Thus the problem with titles of workers in this country. Can't be called a mailman anymore, but a mail carrier, spokesman becomes spokesperson, and so on and so on. Many feminists find it revolting to embrace being a woman that they will go out of their way to dress like a man, be more aggresive than a man in the workforce,  and find it an insult when some women choose being a mother as a career choice. On the other hand, RW/UW embrace being a woman and their feminine side. Does that mean they consider themselves, or will allow themselves to be treated as less than an equal?  Without a doubt, NO. They are proud to be a woman. They don't have to constantly try and prove that they are equal, they already know it. 
« Last Edit: December 12, 2006, 08:43:40 PM by wxman »
"Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch. Liberty is a well-armed lamb contesting that vote." – Benjamin Franklin -

Offline Son of Clyde

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Re: Some thoughts
« Reply #6 on: January 03, 2007, 03:36:44 PM »
Ada, I have always had a problem with the definition of dating.
It does not necessarily mean exclusivity with one person.
Dating can be going to a movie or to dinner or it can be having intimacy with a person. Professional daters can be intimate with many women. This is really up to the man and the woman but I was sort of brought up to believe that intimacy is for couples in love who want a future together. I think my Catholic upbringing and being a child of television in the 1950's and 1960's I was seeing these "perfect" families that really do not exist but they provide a sort of role model family. In the late 1960's things changed with "free love" but I was not really a part of that scene either. I was rather shy. I like the term "seeing someone".
Maybe as a non-professional dater, I can add a different perspective.

Offline I/O

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Re: Some thoughts
« Reply #7 on: January 03, 2007, 05:33:56 PM »
I. People have used MOB term and most of you would probably object to this particular term. What term would you use to describe this? International or cross border dating and marriage? Transnational dating and marriage? What term do you think best describe this?

International Relationship/s..? "I/R's"

II. Some critiques indicate that the interest in Asian women or Russian women is a form of fetishism. It is based on the steretypes and myths about Asian women and Russian women. I think the interest in Russian women is a recent phenomenon and is tied to the geopolitics in Eastern Europe. I would think that people here have different reasons to pursue Russian women. My question would be why russian women appeal to you particularly.

Russia has been historically something of an enigma and I suspect some, and it was certainly true for me, were curious about the country and perhaps culture.  This led me to visiting Russia as a tourist.  It was after this that I included Russian or FSU ladies within my search criteria more because I had become somewhat familiar with them than a specific interest in Russian Women. This remains the same today and simply "So Happens" that a special Russian lady caught my attention.  Not because she is a "Russian Lady", but because to me she is a "Special Lady first.  The fact that she is a "Russian Lady" is completely incidental.

III. People have argued that the communication with Russian women is no diffferent from internet dating, such as e-harmony, match.com, etc. What are your thoughts on this? Is there a difference or is it similar?

The difference for me has been simply some "Language Barriers", but nothing further than that.  With adequate, if not perfect "E-Translators" this has become much less of a problem.  Mine and I have actually used this to our advantage by spending time together, both in reality and online, learning each other's language, which has provided many laughs and much frivolity.

I/O who has enjoyed the challenge of learning a little Russian language.

Offline smsmsmsm

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Re: Some thoughts
« Reply #8 on: January 05, 2007, 01:35:34 PM »
Hi SOC,

I also have problems with the definition of dating. It can mean so many different things to start with. Also, what is the line between dating and having a "couple" relationship? Is there a transitional period of time? In addition to what you mentioned, my problem stems from cultural differences. That is, dating can mean different things in different cultural contexts. You brought up an interesting question for me. Is the defintion or meaning of dating the same in FSU? 

I/O, thanks for answering my questions. I really appreciate it. I love your "The reality of risks" piece. It is beautifully written. I would love to know more about your story if you are willing to share.

Ada

Offline I/O

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Re: Some thoughts
« Reply #9 on: January 05, 2007, 02:43:01 PM »
dating can mean different things in different cultural contexts. an interesting question for me. Is the defintion or meaning of dating the same in FSU? 

I/O, thanks for answering my questions. I really appreciate it. I love your "The reality of risks" piece. It is beautifully written. I would love to know more about your story if you are willing to share. Ada

In my country the term "Date" has tended to mean something different to "Dating" as such if that is not too much of a parodox.  Notwithstanding the line is blurring more and more. 

I have had my eyes opened a little as I have travelled and even more here.  It seems that most see what I would descibe as "Casual Dating" as the basis for drafting out a "Marriage Partner".  On an international basis, it makes no sense to me whatsoever, but that has been debated enough elsewhere.  Thus any association I have had with FSU ladies has been on the pretext that there may well be possability of something much more serious, in fact I havn't bothered to meet anyone on any other basis.  The point to your question is that I have found the FSU ladies I have associated with very positive about that approach. 

Yes I'll add a little to that other thread in due course.  I am working on something at the moment, but it is not entirely relevant to the journey which has led me to being here, so it may take a while.

I/O

 

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