Russian Women Discussion
RWD Discussion Groups => Starting Out => Topic started by: capricorn rising on April 25, 2012, 08:28:18 PM
-
I should say lack of commenting. If a RW thought you looked cute or ugly in the photos you send them would they tell you? It's hard to get a vibe from this girl. This is just in the email stage and she is not an agency scammer. I comment on her looks but she doesn't reciprocate. Other than that she replies quickly and seems interested.
:-\
-
My lady does the same thing. Well unless i ask her opinion on something. I don't think she is used to complementing people who knows? But, she doesn't have to say anything though. Her eyes and facial expressions say all that needs to be said.
-
I never compliment men on looks (unless to someone I know very well in joking or sarcastic way); on achivements - yeah, skills - yeah, personal traits - yeah, looks - nope
-
I never compliment men on looks (unless to someone I know very well in joking or sarcastic way); on achivements - yeah, skills - yeah, personal traits - yeah, looks - nope
Not even for something like a nice new haircut or clothes?
-
It's a personal thing, you know, like in the west.
My wife did comment and still does.
Maybe these women think you guys are just fugly and they are being polite?
;D
-
Not even for something like a nice new haircut or clothes?
Rarely and only to someone I know for some time. Definetly would not comment on looks to someone I only communicated with online (if communication is great may joke about something but would not say something on serious note).
Any guy that asks through dating site something like "Do you think I am attractive?" will be send to Bin folder
-
Any guy that asks through dating site something like "Do you think I am attractive?" will be send to Bin folder
Does that happen often?
-
Does that happen often?
When I was using dating sites would stumble upon one or two like that every week. Question wasnt exactly formed same way but meaning was same.
-
Strangely, the comment I got quite a bit before during the first initial pic exchange was if I was an actor.
"You are actor?"
I didn't realized that cowboys and *indian* movies were popular in Russia...
-
I should say lack of commenting. If a RW thought you looked cute or ugly in the photos you send them would they tell you?
I see no reason for a RW to comment on your looks. Man appearance does not matter much for RW who are mature enough to value men. Or at least secondary in comparison to what and how you're talking/writing to her (women love with their ears). I think she finds it uncomfortable to make notes on your looks at this stage of relationship, even if she's got the reason to compliment. I would see the opposite approach rather strange for typical RW.
Well, when you get closer to each other she tells you even more than you'd like to hear :)
-
I see no reason for a RW to comment on your looks. Man appearance does not matter much for RW who are mature enough to value men. Or at least secondary in comparison to what and how you're talking/writing to her (women love with their ears). I think she finds it uncomfortable to make notes on your looks at this stage of relationship, even if she's got the reason to compliment. I would see the opposite approach rather strange for typical RW.
Well, when you get closer to each other she tells you even more than you'd like to hear :)
There's a related conversation over on another forum about how "women generally don't care what men look like".
;D lol
Yeah, well, good luck with that. What they will do is compromise on looks for other redeeming qualities but, of course, most women take notice of the way men look and will care to some extent. Probably to a lesser extent if you are very charismatic, funny, witty, intelligent... oh, yeah, and that other one, "wealthy". ;)
-
Probably gonna recieve more negative attention for this but I'll answer your question...
I signed up @ ukrainedate about a week ago and 6 girls have said some variations of "you're beautiful" and a couple commented on my smile.
From what I saw while I was there, they do comment on looks. My look is much different than a typical Russian guy, most of them have their hair forward and mine is a mess and all of the place, but styled that way. I think I really stood out because of itr. A lot of the younger girls (15-25) would tell me I was beautiful or call me lapochka ( I don't really know what it means but I guess its a complement ), one girl started it then everyone started calling me it, it became somewhat of nick name. Even some of the nurses who are older 35+ would tell me how beautiful I was Some of the compliments may have been sarcasm though. like if I was looking in a mirror fixing my hair or putting on chap stick, they'd say yes you're beautiful or of course your beautiful.
I wouldn't ask though, just have confidence like you know it. If she's talking to you, she must have some interest in you.
-
Yeah, well, good luck with that. What they will do is compromise on looks for other redeeming qualities but, of course, most women take notice of the way men look and will care to some extent. Probably to a lesser extent if you are very charismatic, funny, witty, intelligent... oh, yeah, and that other one, "wealthy". ;)
Right. If a men is not charismatic, funny, witty, intelligent he has to be very wealthy to compensate the gravest sins you listed. And if he is not charismatic, funny, witty, intelligent, wealthy his nice appearance does not help :)
-
Right. If a men is not charismatic, funny, witty, intelligent he has to be very wealthy to compensate the gravest sins you listed. And if he is not charismatic, funny, witty, intelligent, wealthy his nice appearance does not help :)
Yes, but it's like cooking, right? A beautiful looking dish that tastes like crap is not going to go down well. Sometimes people will compromise on the presentation if the taste is really good. The better the taste, the less people will be concerned about presentation, to a certain point. It's all about balance and personal preference. But anyway, generally, women do care how men look, but it's just one ingredient in the recipe.
Thinking otherwise is just self-serving delusion and justification.
As AmericanBoy pointed out, some women do comment on how men look. It's not that uncommon. Of course, just because they don't also doesn't mean they think you're fugly. It's a personal thing.
-
I wouldn't ask though, just have confidence like you know it. If she's talking to you, she must have some interest in you.
Yes, precisely. Confidence is the key.
If she's talking, she must think those fugy guys are good enough in other respects. There's always the light switch too, right? ;D
-
Yes, but it's like cooking, right? A beautiful looking dish that tastes like crap is not going to go down well. Sometimes people will compromise on the presentation if the taste is really good. The better the taste, the less people will be concerned about presentation, to a certain point. It's all about balance and personal preference. But anyway, generally, women do care how men look, but it's just one ingredient in the recipe.
Thinking otherwise is just self-serving delusion and justification.
As AmericanBoy pointed out, some women do comment on how men look. It's not that uncommon. Of course, just because they don't also doesn't mean they think you're fugly. It's a personal thing.
I agree. Women do care how men look, this is just not the main ingredient in the recipe.
AmericanBoy tends to get unique responses as "he is so beautiful" :)
-
I never compliment men on looks (unless to someone I know very well in joking or sarcastic way); on achivements - yeah, skills - yeah, personal traits - yeah, looks - nope
Capricone : listen : you mustn't compliment women on her look, and especially if you haven't yet meet her. Only nice guys are doing this, they believed they are saying something special (on site or in the real life). As a result, a 9 girl, can hear more than 20 times (in real life) : "you are beautiful" in just one month. You start your first seconds of real or virtual meeting with a big tag "loser".
You are in the classical western loop where a lot of guys now are waiting to be validated by women. Am i attractive ? Tell me i am strong ? My d.... is big, isn't it ?
I would advice you, especially in FSU to clean this type of mindset of your head.
-
AmericanBoy tends to get unique responses as "he is so beautiful" :)
I'm not though. I really see myself as a regular guy & I actually think I looked better when I was younger. Confidence is key and I have a lot of that and I think people sense it. Some may take it as arrogance (even some of the guys here) but its not. I just walk around with my head high.
I say "beautiful" because that's what they say "kresivia" I don't know if theres a variation for man
-
My experience is that RW like all women, care about the appearance of their man and yes, if they like the way you look they will tell you.
-
I comment on her looks but she doesn't reciprocate.
Before lamenting her silence, consider how you'd react if she wasn't.
-
Strangely, the comment I got quite a bit before during the first initial pic exchange was if I was an actor.
"You are actor?"
I didn't realized that cowboys and *indian* movies were popular in Russia...
As they actually amde some, they do know what it is ;D
-
Complimenting is not a must for FSU people unlike it is here.
-
Rarely and only to someone I know for some time. Definetly would not comment on looks to someone I only communicated with online (if communication is great may joke about something but would not say something on serious note).
Any guy that asks through dating site something like "Do you think I am attractive?" will be send to Bin folder
A couple of RW told me the same when I asked them what turned them off during the correspondence period. "Do you think I am attractive?" suggests lack of self-confidence or egocentrism. Worse was any mention of sex.
-
I should say lack of commenting. If a RW thought you looked cute or ugly in the photos you send them would they tell you? It's hard to get a vibe from this girl. This is just in the email stage and she is not an agency scammer. I comment on her looks but she doesn't reciprocate. Other than that she replies quickly and seems interested.
:-\
The mere fact that a RW is communicating with you after seeing your photo reveals that you are at least "okay."
People have two faces, the one they are born with and the one they make. Focus on the second.
-
Man appearance does not matter much for RW who are mature enough to value men. Or at least secondary in comparison to what and how you're talking/writing to her...
I am living proof of that. ;)
What matters are the feelings you have for each other after spending time together. And IMO without some physical attraction the overall feelings will not support a lasting, loving relationship.
Many mature women tend to value the aura of a man, appreciating a strong yet suave man very much. Nevertheless, RW often joke that their standard for a man's appearance is "better looking than a monkey."
The problem is they think many men look like a monkey. :D Seriously, I was helping my ex- after a breakup by giving my opinion of men who had written her. She considered many "a monkey" even though I would say "average" or "okay."
-
красивая, красивый, красивое.
Sometimes красивый can be understood as "nice" instead of beautiful/handsome.
-
Post your picture, and i'll tell you what i think :P
-
Capricone : listen : you mustn't compliment women on her look, and especially if you haven't yet meet her. Only nice guys are doing this, they believed they are saying something special (on site or in the real life). As a result, a 9 girl, can hear more than 20 times (in real life) : "you are beautiful" in just one month. You start your first seconds of real or virtual meeting with a big tag "loser".
You are in the classical western loop where a lot of guys now are waiting to be validated by women. Am i attractive ? Tell me i am strong ? My d.... is big, isn't it ?
I would advice you, especially in FSU to clean this type of mindset of your head.
:ROFL:
But seriously Pat is right on with this.
-
Capricone : listen : you mustn't compliment women on her look, and especially if you haven't yet meet her. Only nice guys are doing this, they believed they are saying something special (on site or in the real life).
I disagree. Men should compliment women on the looks. Just dont over do it and you must really mean what you saying.
As a result, a 9 girl, can hear more than 20 times (in real life) : "you are beautiful" in just one month. You start your first seconds of real or virtual meeting with a big tag "loser".
In online dating, a 6 girl can hear more then 20 times "you are beautiful" in just one hour. If she is not delusional with reality, the guys who give too many compliments will undermine her trust to them. Compliments should be natural and original. Writing same compliments (aka "you are beautiful") as many other guys do is just the thing to sink your own boat. Not complimenting at all woman on her looks is mistake as well
You are in the classical western loop where a lot of guys now are waiting to be validated by women. Am i attractive ? Tell me i am strong ? My d.... is big, isn't it ?
I would advice you, especially in FSU to clean this type of mindset of your head.
You hit the nail on the head here.
-
Now my curiosity is taking over :cluebat:
Guys, what kind of compliments you like to receive from women and/or what kind of compliments could put you off? ;D
-
My Dad taught his sons to compliment a gf/wife no less than 3x daily. He advised that only 1 of the 3 be based on appearance and the other 2 be based on what she means to your life, what she brings to family happiness and health, her talents and abilities etc.
It seems to work.
A genuine compliment can in some instances lessen the heat of an argument if she realizes that you are sincere.
-
I have read the first page so far and it is giving me a good laugh; based on my experiences when I met my wife. Anyway, to answer the OP;
I should say lack of commenting. If a RW thought you looked cute or ugly in the photos you send them would they tell you? It's hard to get a vibe from this girl. This is just in the email stage and she is not an agency scammer. I comment on her looks but she doesn't reciprocate. Other than that she replies quickly and seems interested.
:-\
Her response to your physical appearance is directly proportional to the size of your wallet.
Now, to page two.
-
Now my curiosity is taking over :cluebat:
Guys, what kind of compliments you like to receive from women and/or what kind of compliments could put you off? ;D
I'll go with one of Pat's classical western loop. ;D
-
Now my curiosity is taking over :cluebat:
Guys, what kind of compliments you like to receive from women and/or what kind of compliments could put you off? ;D
I respect compliments on or about my accomplishments, my attitude, morals, or on my talents, from men or women.
If you are a man and you are seeking compliments about your physical appearance, you best just ask only 1 woman about that. Your mother.
This brings to mind a friend of mine's mother, she is a very sweet woman and always has something nice to say to everyone.
On one occasion she was asked to comment on a woman's new born child, who might I add was less than attractive, and she said: Oh, bless his little heart.
-
If you are a man and you are seeking compliments about your physical appearance, you best just ask only 1 woman about that. Your mother.
Well in that case I'll ask mom to skip one of Pat's classic western loop. 8)
-
Well in that case I'll ask mom to skip one of Pat's classic western loop. 8)
LOL
To the OP:
You are expecting a compliment because you are giving one?
Does she give you any compliments at all, about anything?
Does she compliment about other people to you?
Just Curious.
-
On one occasion she was asked to comment on a woman's new born child, who might I add was less than attractive, and she said: Oh, bless his little heart.
That reminds me of a Dutch comedian who mentioned that if a baby looked ugly, you could always tell it seems to have a sweet character.
Five minutes later in a monologue of how his sister got married and had a child: This child had a sweet character, in fact the sweetest character I have ever seen....
-
I should say lack of commenting. If a RW thought you looked cute or ugly in the photos you send them would they tell you? It's hard to get a vibe from this girl. This is just in the email stage and she is not an agency scammer. I comment on her looks but she doesn't reciprocate. Other than that she replies quickly and seems interested.
:-\
Good news or bads news, you decide.
Start at 1:50
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ityvlxX765I
-
My Dad taught his sons to compliment a gf/wife no less than 3x daily. He advised that only 1 of the 3 be based on appearance and the other 2 be based on what she means to your life, what she brings to family happiness and health, her talents and abilities etc.
It seems to work.
This reference suggests 5 compliments. RW are easy. :)
http://www.iamhusband.com/2008/04/compliment-to-criticism-ratio.html (http://www.iamhusband.com/2008/04/compliment-to-criticism-ratio.html)
In business climates I was taught that teams perform better if between peers there are three sincere compliments for every constructive criticism. If a supervisor, the ratio is 10::1.
Of course this is for American society where we expect smiles and seek harmony. Russians are strong. They do not want sugar coating and they can deal with a shitstorm, as told to us by some RWD female members. Also, IMO Russians stress perfection more than Americans (in Olympic Games a Silver Medal is for a loser).
-
Now my curiosity is taking over :cluebat:
Guys, what kind of compliments you like to receive from women and/or what kind of compliments could put you off? ;D
Good question! No one else tried, so I will.
TURN ON
A confident man needs no compliments, but if you can not restrain yourself, try these:
"What would I do without you!" goes a long way.
"You make me laugh" is good, especially in the beginning.
Good in bars at first meeting, "You are standing in a space reserved for good looking men, and you deserve to be there." That works well with women dependent upon timing and delivery.
And my favorite, "You are so big" but I grow weary of that one. ;)
Personally and seriously, I appreciate most a woman looking long into my eyes and slowly forming a tender smile, and closing her eyes while leaning forward.
TURN OFF
"Size does not matter."
"Your bald spot does not show."
And any comment that is obviously loaded: "Whatever" (from women means f..ck you), "Don't bother, I can handle it," "Fine," etc.
-
Well in that case I'll ask mom to skip one of Pat's classic western loop. 8)
:ROFL:
Good idea.. Mom probably has a that typical Mama long term memory AND the bath photos...
-
As for the people I know I compliment on everything: personal traits, achievements, look, etc.
I am not very good at complimenting on the strangers' features though as I never start small talks.
-
Man that reporter is smoking!!!! Thats the exact type of girl I would want to marry if I was going for a russian girl....
Can a native or someone who knows russian well tell me what lapochka means? I tried to translate it and it didnt come up correctly.
-
"lapochka" could be "sweetie", "cuitie", etc. Very affectionate.
-
Can a native or someone who knows russian well tell me what lapochka means?
It means you have something "little" in your "lap"... try the sock trick!
-
It means you have something "little" in your "lap"... try the sock trick!
In this word "lap" means "paw" :D
-
There is nothing wrong with giving compliments whether there are from men to women or women to men, regardless on looks, hair, what they are wearing, new clothes. It is very healthy!
What I do not like is that women keep asking me something like "Do you find me attractive?" when they did not mention nothing about me. These women only love herself.
These sort of women - I will eliminate
I also eliminate these women who keep on saying something like "I am fat" "I am ugly" etc
-
"lapochka" could be "sweetie", "cuitie", etc. Very affectionate.
Used mostly for a daughter? :-\
Differs from Девочка моя?
-
Strangely, the comment I got quite a bit before during the first initial pic exchange was if I was an actor.
"You are actor?"
I didn't realized that cowboys and *indian* movies were popular in Russia...
My friend in Rostov likes cowboy movies.
So, I suggested "Blazing Saddles", he loved it. :D
On the English Language learning site I posted a few topics about "Indians", I'm part Cherokee and Seminole. Of those interested, about 95% were Russian or Ukrainian.
-
There is nothing wrong with giving compliments whether there are from men to women or women to men, regardless on looks, hair, what they are wearing, new clothes. It is very healthy!
What I do not like is that women keep asking me something like "Do you find me attractive?" when they did not mention nothing about me. These women only love herself.
These sort of women - I will eliminate
I also eliminate these women who keep on saying something like "I am fat" "I am ugly" etc
Woman is a woman, man is a man. If you expect women to say "You are so cute" and "You are so attractive" then perhaps FSUW isnt for you. Nothing to do with selfishness. When we want something cute we get kitty (or лапочка ;D ) but when we look for man we want him to be strong, reliable and confident.
-
Used mostly for a daughter? :-\
Diifers from Девочка моя?
Expression "лапочка дочка" (lapochka daughter) comes from this cartoon
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n2iBCz4gkNQ
But also лапочка used as affectionate name/nickname towards man/woman (Often used as name for pets too)
-
Zaychik?
Thanks, I love cartoons. :)
-
Zaychik?
Zaychik? - Зайчик but also зайка, зайчонок, заюшка, заинька, зайчишка :)
-
How you look complements are overrated. Don't you prefer ones that are about good parts of your personality, or something you did that was very nice. I know i do.
-
Zaychik? - Зайчик but also зайка, зайчонок, заюшка, заинька, зайчишка :)
Большое спасибо. :)
-
What I do not like is that women keep asking me something like "Do you find me attractive?" when they did not mention nothing about me. These women only love herself.
Huh?! Are you joking or being serious?!
-
Большое спасибо. :)
It's usually said the other way around. :)
one thing I notice too while I was in russia. They pet names like crazy. zaya, zaika kotenok etc. along with putting echka enka ka at the end of a name
example:
girls name is Yulya
they'll call her
yul
yulka
yulechka
yulenka
and then of course Juila
-
It's usually said the other way around. :)
Nope, it can be used either way
-
Is it common though? Never once did I hear someone say it that way, always "spacibo bolshoe"
-
There is nothing wrong with giving compliments whether there are from men to women or women to men, regardless on looks, hair, what they are wearing, new clothes. It is very healthy!
What I do not like is that women keep asking me something like "Do you find me attractive?" when they did not mention nothing about me. These women only love herself.
These sort of women - I will eliminate
I also eliminate these women who keep on saying something like "I am fat" "I am ugly" etc
IMO the majority of FSUW have a pretty deep streak of insecurity and inferiority which they attempt to mask with that cold FSU image, bluster and feigned indifference when dealing with westerners. Their asking of the partner/spouse these incessant questions, speculating about cosmetics, shopping traits and curiosity about cosmetic surgery shows the cracks in their psyche. It gets old and I suggest you sharpen your criteria a bit to include weeding out these whiney, insecure types or they'll drive you crazy with this sort of talk.
-
Is it common though? Never once did I hear someone say it that way, always "spacibo bolshoe"
In Ukraine I don't recall ever hearing it with the bolshoi stated first. Maybe a regional thing?
I have heard it translated as "big thanks" and wondered why this happens sometimes. As usual I think you just have to write this off as a coping or transitional affectation.
-
yeah that's what I'm saying. I heard that phrase at least a thousand times and always hears spacibo first.
-
How you look complements are overrated.
As a man talking to a woman, no.
Women put a lot more effort into their appearance, especially in a formal setting.
Guys get the same penguin suit. :D
-
Used mostly for a daughter? :-\
Differs from Девочка моя?
Not only. You can hear something like this, "Он- такой лапочка!"
-
yeah that's what I'm saying. I heard that phrase at least a thousand times and always hears spacibo first.
I've heard that phrase at least a thousand times and always heard spacibo first.
Thanks for your input. ;)
-
IMO the majority of FSUW have a pretty deep streak of insecurity and inferiority which they attempt to mask with that cold FSU image, bluster and feigned indifference when dealing with westerners. Their asking of the partner/spouse these incessant questions, speculating about cosmetics, shopping traits and curiosity about cosmetic surgery shows the cracks in their psyche. It gets old and I suggest you sharpen your criteria a bit to include weeding out these whiney, insecure types or they'll drive you crazy with this sort of talk.
BS
-
BS
BS X 2
-
BS X 2
Or X 3 :D
-
BS X Infinity then!
THERE!
:wallbash:
-
Is rubber and glue next? :D
-
I've heard that phrase at least a thousand times and always heard spacibo first.
Thanks for your input. ;)
yeah yeah...
My English went to shit after a year in russia + not proof reading means many many errors.
-
Is rubber and glue next? :D
Probably!
It's what happens when people begin making personal attacks without addressing the substance of the topic.......
-
yeah yeah...
My English went to shit after a year in russia + not proof reading means many many errors.
No worry, I forget to type words like "a" "the" and a few others sometimes.
p.s. Russia always has a big R. ;)
-
what does kakiy or something like that? as if you're were complimenting someone
-
Probably!
It's what happens when people begin making personal attacks without addressing the substance of the topic.......
Personal attack?
I see it as she did not agree with that statement.
Nothing personal.
Or is this an ongoing conflict?
-
Is it common though? Never once did I hear someone say it that way, always "spacibo bolshoe"
In Ukraine I don't recall ever hearing it with the bolshoi stated first. Maybe a regional thing?
I have heard it translated as "big thanks" and wondered why this happens sometimes. As usual I think you just have to write this off as a coping or transitional affectation.
Its common to use either way. Nothing regional in it.
-
Personal attack?
I see it as she did not agree with that statement.
Nothing personal.
Or is this an ongoing conflict?
Sure it's personal. You say something, I say BS without addressing why I think that or offering any alternatives, no comment is made as to substance only a judgement.
But hey, call it what you want to then.
-
I disagree. Men should compliment women on the looks. Just dont over do it and you must really mean what you saying.
In online dating, a 6 girl can hear more then 20 times "you are beautiful" in just one hour. If she is not delusional with reality, the guys who give too many compliments will undermine her trust to them. Compliments should be natural and original. Writing same compliments (aka "you are beautiful") as many other guys do is just the thing to sink your own boat. Not complimenting at all woman on her looks is mistake as well
You hit the nail on the head here.
My post was probably not enough accurate. I meaned, implicitly, in the beginning of the relationship.
Of course i you are married and don't get any compliments to your lady :cluebat:
The clue is that many men give compliments to girls they don't know or almost don't know.
I totally agree when you say "compliments should be natural and original".
Guys keep this in mind : "compliments should be natural and original".
I translate because there are two conditions in my opinion in the way to tell it.
So a compliment should be : customised (i am really fond of the way you dress your hair with your hand, it is so sensual, you have a special manner to do it, i never see such thing before or I like your emotional intelligence, you are an empathic person)
Unfortunately a lot of guys believe they are saying something original but they aren't. When i am with this type of guys i am very uncomfortable and want to flee. The worst for me when the guy is delivering is soap compliments and suddenly look at me saying : she is beautiful (worst : she has beautiful breasts) isn't she ? I wish to punch his face.
Sincere. nothing to wait, no flattery. Something she desserved, really.
-
There is sure nothing personal.
As for the "statement"- it is not even close to the "truth".
I do understand it is "IMO", but nothing in it is how it is in reality.
I don't have to "address".
-
This reference suggests 5 compliments. RW are easy. :)
http://www.iamhusband.com/2008/04/compliment-to-criticism-ratio.html (http://www.iamhusband.com/2008/04/compliment-to-criticism-ratio.html)
In business climates I was taught that teams perform better if between peers there are three sincere compliments for every constructive criticism. If a supervisor, the ratio is 10::1.
Of course this is for American society where we expect smiles and seek harmony. Russians are strong. They do not want sugar coating and they can deal with a shitstorm, as told to us by some RWD female members. Also, IMO Russians stress perfection more than Americans (in Olympic Games a Silver Medal is for a loser).
Interesting, unfortunately this corporate culture is not really present in my country, not enough.
-
There is sure nothing personal.
As for the "statement"- it is not even close to the "truth".
I do understand it is "IMO", but nothing in it is how it is in reality.
I don't have to "address".
Great, we are agreed then, you think my statement is BS and I think the same of yours....feel better now?
-
The worst for me when the guy is delivering is soap compliments and suddenly look at me saying : she is beautiful (worst : she has beautiful breasts) isn't she ? I wish to punch his face.
:ROFL:
Edit: If you would like to punch his face, imagine how girl feels :deadhorse: :deadhorse: :deadhorse:
-
:ROFL:
Edit: If you would like to punch his face, imagine how girl feels :deadhorse: :deadhorse: :deadhorse:
Yeah ! ;)
-
Unfortunately a lot of guys believe they are saying something original but they aren't. When i am with this type of guys i am very uncomfortable and want to flee. The worst for me when the guy is delivering is soap compliments and suddenly look at me saying : she is beautiful (worst : she has beautiful breasts) isn't she ? I wish to punch his face.
true that Pat.
I made the mistake of going with a married friend of mine out for the evening. He made a mad dash to the bar then to the strip club. I stayed with him, because I was driving and he was drunk. So inside the club, he totally changed. He became like some sort of megalomaniacal fool. Like a cartoon, he had the big eyes and drooling mouth, He then became like the man Pat describes above.
I told him, I will be in the car when you are done being a dumbass. He came out 10 minutes later, and proceeds to tell me that I am at fault for his behaviour.
I said to him : before I knock you out, I am going to remind you that you are married, and that even if you do not respect that fact , I DO. I then put him to sleep with a little knuckle sandwich on the chin.
When he came to, he found me dragging his dumb ass into his front door where his wife was waiting.
I am amazed how guys like this can convince a woman to marry them in the first place. Let alone stay married. On the reverse side of that thought, His wife treats him like shit, and makes his life hell, which totally deserves. So i guess it's a perfect match.
-
There is sure nothing personal.
As for the "statement"- it is not even close to the "truth".
I do understand it is "IMO", but nothing in it is how it is in reality.
I don't have to "address".
Agree.
-
To the topic, if a woman, any woman compliments you on your appearance, just simply say "thank you" and be done with it. Of course it makes anyone feel good about themselves.
Fishing for compliments is weak. And a cheap compliment is like cheap cologne. Easily smelt for what it is.
-
Personal attack?
I see it as she did not agree with that statement.
Nothing personal.
Or is this an ongoing conflict?
Nah, it is that insecurity he was talking about. :-\
-
My post was probably not enough accurate. I meaned, implicitly, in the beginning of the relationship.
Of course i you are married and don't get any compliments to your lady :cluebat:
The clue is that many men give compliments to girls they don't know or almost don't know.
I totally agree when you say "compliments should be natural and original".
Pat, how's this for original?
Some years ago my wife loved this song from Valery Meladze so I bought the CD.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m-h2Mr5SMVA (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m-h2Mr5SMVA)
I really liked the song so I would listen to it while I was driving to and back from work. So I decided to learn the song and repeat whatever he was saying so I could one day sing it to her as a surprise. I asked my wife if she could write down the lyrics for me (not in cyrillic of course) but she did not suspect anything. Her good friend helped me with the pronunciation until she felt it was passable.
This coincided with one of our trips to Kharkiv (pre-child) so I figured I could surprise her for Woman's International Day. It happens that I didn't wait that long. We were in one of the outdoor cafes that used to dot the park next to Independent Square and the DJ was playing music and asking people to sing. So I asked my wife to request the song.
You should have seen her face when I started singing the song to her. As they say in baseball; "and the crowd went wild."
I think that's why she tells me (even after a nasty argument) she will always be with me.
-
Nah, it is that insecurity he was talking about. :-\
I thought he was talking about the incessant cosmetic shopping. Or was that incessant questions about cosmetic shopping? Or perhaps is was the insecurities about plastic surgery that's why they needed to shop for cosmetics incessantly? ;)
Anyway, Doll was right. Ed's talking BS. Again.
-
Pat, how's this for original?
Some years ago my wife loved this song from Valery Meladze so I bought the CD.
I really liked the song so I would listen to it while I was driving to and back from work. So I decided to learn the song and repeat whatever he was saying so I could one day sing it to her as a surprise. I asked my wife if she could write down the lyrics for me (not in cyrillic of course) but she did not suspect anything. Her good friend helped me with the pronunciation until she felt it was passable.
This coincided with one of our trips to Kharkiv (pre-child) so I figured I could surprise her for Woman's International Day. It happens that I didn't wait that long. We were in one of the outdoor cafes that used to dot the park next to Independent Square and the DJ was playing music and asking people to sing. So I asked my wife to request the song.
You should have seen her face when I started singing the song to her. As they say in baseball; "and the crowd went wild."
I think that's why she tells me (even after a nasty argument) she will always be with me.
You scored 10/10 Muzh here, perfect, very romantic and creative.
-
Pat, how's this for original?
Some years ago my wife loved this song from Valery Meladze so I bought the CD.
I really liked the song so I would listen to it while I was driving to and back from work. So I decided to learn the song and repeat whatever he was saying so I could one day sing it to her as a surprise. I asked my wife if she could write down the lyrics for me (not in cyrillic of course) but she did not suspect anything. Her good friend helped me with the pronunciation until she felt it was passable.
This coincided with one of our trips to Kharkiv (pre-child) so I figured I could surprise her for Woman's International Day. It happens that I didn't wait that long. We were in one of the outdoor cafes that used to dot the park next to Independent Square and the DJ was playing music and asking people to sing. So I asked my wife to request the song.
You should have seen her face when I started singing the song to her. As they say in baseball; "and the crowd went wild."
I think that's why she tells me (even after a nasty argument) she will always be with me.
What is impressive is that the crowd went wild. If I would have tried the crowd would have panicked. >:D
-
It helps when you carry a tune. :cheesy:
-
I thought he was talking about the incessant cosmetic shopping. Or was that incessant questions about cosmetic shopping? Or perhaps is was the insecurities about plastic surgery that's why they needed to shop for cosmetics incessantly? ;)
Anyway, Doll was right. Ed's talking BS. Again.
Coming from one of the record-holders that's something to consider alright.
-
Nah, it is that insecurity he was talking about. :-\
+2 Exactly.
-
Ok, a little bit of Russian: there is hardly any difference between Большое спасибо and Спасибо большое
-
Ok, a little bit of Russian: there is hardly any difference between Большое спасибо and Спасибо большое
I'm SO glad we got that sorted out! FWIW, I heard it both ways on both my trips.
-
I should say lack of commenting. If a RW thought you looked cute or ugly in the photos you send them would they tell you? It's hard to get a vibe from this girl. This is just in the email stage and she is not an agency scammer. I comment on her looks but she doesn't reciprocate. Other than that she replies quickly and seems interested.
:-\
Machiavelli said flatterers should be shunned.
-
My wife sent me this little tidbit from one of her classes.
UCLA Study
A study worth sharing:
A study conducted by UCLA's Department of Psychiatry has revealed that the kind of face a woman finds attractive on a man can differ depending on where she is in her menstrual cycle.
For example: if she is ovulating, she is attracted to men with rugged and masculine features.
However, if she is menstruating or menopausal, she tends to be more attracted to a man with duct tape over his mouth, a spear lodged in his chest and a bat up his ass while he is on fire.
No further studies are expected on this subject.
-
My wife sent me this little tidbit from one of her classes.
UCLA Study
A study worth sharing:
A study conducted by UCLA's Department of Psychiatry has revealed that the kind of face a woman finds attractive on a man can differ depending on where she is in her menstrual cycle.
For example: if she is ovulating, she is attracted to men with rugged and masculine features.
However, if she is menstruating or menopausal, she tends to be more attracted to a man with duct tape over his mouth, a spear lodged in his chest and a bat up his ass while he is on fire.
No further studies are expected on this subject.
I watched a program that showed a women looked more attractive when she was ovulating.....actually showing photos of the women.....before and after...which makes sense for the 'species'
-
I should say lack of commenting. If a RW thought you looked cute or ugly in the photos you send them would they tell you? It's hard to get a vibe from this girl. This is just in the email stage and she is not an agency scammer. I comment on her looks but she doesn't reciprocate. Other than that she replies quickly and seems interested.
:-\
I always compliment on male appearance if there is what to compliment on.
-
I think I really stood out because of itr. A lot of the younger girls (15-25) would tell me I was beautiful or call me lapochka ( I don't really know what it means but I guess its a complement ), one girl started it then everyone started calling me it, it became somewhat of nick name. Even some of the nurses who are older 35+ would tell me how beautiful I was Some of the compliments may have been sarcasm though. like if I was looking in a mirror fixing my hair or putting on chap stick, they'd say yes you're beautiful or of course your beautiful.
I wouldn't ask though, just have confidence like you know it. If she's talking to you, she must have some interest in you.
You did stood out, but you can look at online profiles of ukrainian guys - girls compliment them all the time, even guys of questionable looks. If you need a proof - I can provide some.
For example, read girls' comments to this photo: http://www.bizarre.kiev.ua/cgi-bin/photo/show.pl?n=!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!DREAM00.jpg&s=M&p=ok&i=03000102&l=will_date_foreigner&sx=f (http://www.bizarre.kiev.ua/cgi-bin/photo/show.pl?n=%21%21%21%21%21%21%21%21%21%21%21%21%21%21%21DREAM00.jpg&s=M&p=ok&i=03000102&l=will_date_foreigner&sx=f)
or this one: http://www.bizarre.kiev.ua/cgi-bin/photo/show.pl?n=%f4ap%eca%f6e%e2%f2%2903.jpg&s=M&p=ok&l=will_date_foreigner&i=08030401&sx=f
-
In my experiences on EM that women have given positive feedback to my appearance. I am not a guy that women would call gorgeous or could pose for the cover of a romance novel, but thanks to God my appearance is ok.
If all the women are not commenting then either you are fugly (as someone else said) or you are posing the question wrong. I'm not an expert with Russian women or women in general, but women want a man who is confidant regardless of his features. You can be a good looking guy but if you are not confidant then women won't express how good you look... they will simply walk away.
-
You can't be insecure around any woman you are pursuing, FSUW in particular.
If you need the girl you want to pursue to tell you that you're handsome, then
you are probably too insecure.
-
24 or so years ago, I was with a RW in SpB.
I mentioned that I wanted to lose some weight.
So said: "No, only one of us needs to be slender."
21 or so years ago I was with a UW in Kyiv.
My gut was getting even larger.
I asked her what she thought about it.
She said: "No problem."
15 or so years ago I was with a UW in Kharkiv.
She said: "You are so slender everywhere except your stomach."
I knew she didn't like it, so I knew it was over with her because no matter how much weight I lost, I would have the pot gut that runs in my father's family.
This week I saw myself in mirror (sideways) and was shocked at how big my stomach had become.
I told my now wife that I was embarrassed at how terrible I looked.
She just shrugged her shoulders and smiled.